Toad: Wait! Let's split up so we're alone and defenseless.

Iggy: Forget that! We don't need PHS like the original Final Fantasy 7! Besides, it sounds like... er...

Cammi: Well anyway...

They walked and walked but because they were used to a cushy life with no real on-foot traveling they got really tired.

TMS: I'm thirsty.

Cammi: Shut up!

Iggy: I'm hungry!

Cammi: Shut up!

Toad: I got to take a leak.

Cammi: Shut up!

Yoshiki: You're being awful bossy for just having driven the truck earlier.

Iggy chewed on Toad's arm but he didn't feel it. Everyone’s nerves seemed to have been burnt up.

Iggy: Tasty meat!

Toad: Where?!

Toad was thrown into a fit of utter panic looking for the meat. Then he noticed a big piece of his gun arm
was missing.

Iggy: *burp*

After Toad threw Iggy off a cliff and later salvaged his body with a Phoenix Down, they reached the desired town.

Iggy: Need nap...

Yoshiki: We've only been walking for 20 minutes.

Iggy: Yeah, but its the principle of the thing.

Then one of those Sandworms from Tremors came up and ate TMS. There is canned laughter. Anyways, our heroes walked about another mile or so, when they reached a house on the desert

Toad: What the &%^&?

They all ran in to see some funky dude's house. This monkey walked in.

Diddy Kong: Yo, wasup? I'm Diddy the extra! I have tons of shops around here!

Toad: What do ya' sell? Drugs?

Iggy: Sedatives?

Yoshiki: Kitchenware?

Cammi: Furniture?

…………

Toad: Hey, somebody's missing, anywho...

Diddy: I sell snowboards, dang it!

Toad: Snowboards?

Iggy: You, my friend, are a moron!

Diddy: No no! You can snowboard in the sand! There's a huge hill down there to Dizzy… whatever...

Toad: Ok, whatever, just gimme.

Diddy: 1,000 Gil each.

Iggy: Get 'em!

Diddy: Ah &^%&^$!

Diddy jumped out of the window and fell down the huge hill, arms flailing uncontrollably. Snapping, twisting in places not meant to be twisted that much, sand caked cuts, blood on the sand-

Toad: Shutup dude, dang!

Everybody took a board. Iggy got the biggest one, Toad got a rapper one, Yoshiki got a farmboy one, and Cammi got a pink one. However, there was one snowboard left with a big smiling star on it…

Toad: Eh… whatever.

Our heroes left, strapped on their snowboards, and began on down the hill, which would have been quite a journey if TMS hadn't  fallen out of the sky again and hit Iggy off his board, sending them both down the hill uncontrollably.

Toad: Ten Gil says he dies.

Cammi: You’re on!

Yoshiki: Oh forget it! I'm sure they'll-

Toad: That's my line!

Toad threw Yoshiki off her snowboard and down the hill but he lost control and fell off too.

Cammi: Hm, I think I’ll take this shortcut!

Cammi turned right but fell over. Everyone rolled down until they hit DizzyVille.

Iggy: Ow.

Everyone got up and got everything together.

TMS: Uh, guys?

Iggy: You’re not a member of the team anymore.

Toad: Yeah.

Everyone but TMS walked in.

TMS: Wait, I am relevant to the plot! Without me you can't go on! You can't get into Cosmo Valley without me! You’ll never finish the game!

Toad: We'll smash the guard's head in with a brick!

TMS: But the player can't do that!

Toad: Just shut up!

Toad threw a rock at TMS.  Everyone in town was missing.

Toad: Dude, where is everybody?

Anyways, after nabbing every valuable they could get they made it to a bar, where the whole town was located.

Iggy: Yahoo!

Iggy got a chair.

Iggy: Gimme a drink &%^%!

Bartender: Make me, shorty!

Iggy hits the bartender with his stool and it broke on his back. Then some one smashed a chair on Iggy’s
back and he went down. Everyone started throwing full beer bottles and chairs and punches all over the place
until everyone died.

GAME OVER

Player: Luckily I saved my game so I won't how to continue with the stupid other play gag.

Suddenly the PSX shorts out and shocks the player, killing him. Anyway...

Iggy walked into the bar again.

Iggy: Gimme a drink!

Bartender: Make me!

Iggy punched the bartender in the face.

Bartender: Gahhh!

The bartender smashed a beer bottle over Iggy’s head.

Cammi: Um, gimmie a rootbeer.

Yoshiki: Chocolate malt.

Toad: Hard booze!

……………

Toad: Um...

Cammi: What? Um…

Everybody froze and a TMS sprite appears.

TMS: I’ll have a Zima!

Toad: There! That’s what was missing!

Bartender: A Zima?

TMS: Gimme!

Bartender: Haha, the pansy wants some water!

Toad: Loser!

Toad threw a brick at TMS. Iggy finally blacked out from having his head hit with a beer bottle. When he
awoke everyone was in a hotel room.

Iggy: Guh…

Cammi: Anyways, how did you know about Sephiroth?

Iggy: Oh, um, this is a long story.

Yoshiki: Ah schizzles.

Iggy: And there are no save points and there is a tough boss at the end.

Player: What?!

Iggy: Let’s begin!

Player: No! Let me save! Hey! Ah!

Iggy: Well, we were on our way on a mission and stocked in the back of the storage truck.

The screen fades to see Iggy in some TIGHT army clothes.

Iggy walked over to a guy.

Iggy: Hey! King of the Mountain!

Guy: No! Please!

Iggy tossed him out of the storage truck.

Sephiroth: Iggy!

Iggy: Yikes!

Iggy hid behind a box.

Sephiroth: What’s wrong with you?! You just tossed a guy out of the truck! Geez! I should kill you!

Iggy: Hit me.

Sephiroth threw a rock at Iggy.

Iggy: Ow! Curse you!

Sephiroth: What?! Anyways, our ride's over there, you idiot!

Sephiroth pointed at a small army truck.

Iggy: Uh...

Sephiroth: It used to be an ice cream truck till...

Iggy: Woohoo!

Iggy ran in and locked the door behind him.

Sephiroth: This is gonna be a loooooong trip...

Later...

Iggy finally noticed two members of KOOPA TROOPA.

Iggy: Hey, who are you two?!

KOOPA TROOPA 1: I'm Bob the extra.

KOOPA TROOPA 2: I’m*#*#*#*#*#*# (problem remembering).

-Clunk-
-Swerve-
-Crash-
-Snap-
-Fizz-

Iggy: Wow, sounds like we hit something!

Sephiroth: That’s the target!

Iggy: Well, I am pretty sure it’s dead now so let's go out and poke it with a stick.

Sephiroth: I hate you.

Later...

The ice cream truck pulled up in front of a town. Everyone hopped out. They walked up to the gate.

Sephiroth: So what's it like?

Iggy: Huh?

Sephiroth: Being back to your home town. I never had one, my mom was Jenova and my dad... let's not talk about him right
now…

Iggy looked at the sign.

Iggy: Welcome to CarWashVille.

Sephiroth: CarWashVille, what the heck?

Iggy: I know it suc-

Sephiroth: Ah! Whatha? Stupid name! Ah!

Iggy: Calm down! Somebody sedate him!

Sephiroth: Get off of me, all of you!

Sephiroth cut off the head of a stranger with his Masamune blade. A KOOPA TROOPA came up and stuck a
syringe in his back. Sephiroth passed out.

KOOPA TROOPA 1: I hate when this happens.

Sephiroth frothed at the mouth. Anyways, Iggy went up to his hotel room.

Iggy: Gimme a room!

Clerk: Ok ma-

Iggy cut off his head.

Iggy: I’ll just take that key.

Iggy took one of the keys and goes up.

Back in DizzyVille...

Cammi: Ew!

Yoshiki: That was evil!

Toad: What the heck did you do that for?

Iggy: To get my point across!

Back in CarWashVille...

Sephiroth and Iggy had a room together.

Sephiroth: So Iggy, you heard of the trail girl?

Iggy: Huh? Girls?!

Sephiroth: The trail leader is a fresh young female.

Iggy: OoOoOOOo!

Sephiroth: Let's get some rest for tommorow.

The next morning…

Iggy woke up.

Iggy: Ooo...

Iggy turned around to see Sephiroth next to him.

Iggy: Oh man, what happened last night? That’s not good…

Back in DizzyVille...

Cammi threw up.

Yoshiki: Sick! You’re just adding this stuff in to look cool!

Iggy: Shut up *(&^&*!

Toad: Dude, you’re messed up.

Iggy: Shut up!

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