Peach Wins a Pukemon Badge

By Golden Road

It is a peaceful day in Spoonerville, uh, I mean Metro City... grr, Mobius? Oh well, who the heck cares where? The point is, it is a peaceful day. Now, Ash is... no, forget Ash! He's a wimp, after all. We'll make Mario the star... except that Mario's too stupid to be the star, so I guess we'll just make Peach the star! And she's with her friend Lemmy... actually, Lemmy's not her friend, Peach just crashed his doomship, so he won't leave her alone until she buys him another one. Anyway, Peach is on her way to Dr. Ludwig's laboratory, to get her very own Pukamon.

Peach: ACK! I'm ten minutes late!

Lemmy: You are so stupid! Forget being just ten minutes late, we were supposed to be at Dr. Ludwig's YESTERDAY!

Peach: Ten minutes, 1450 minutes, same difference, I'm late!

Lemmy: Then why are you going to sleep?

Peach: I'm tired. I'm the princess, I can do whatever I wish.

Lemmy: But don't you want-



Lemmy: Hey! What was that for? Why did you just scream that at me?

Peach: That's the title of today's episode.

Lemmy: So do you have to shout it in the middle of our conversation?

Peach: No. I just felt like it.

Lemmy: I hate you. Anyway, NOW will you go to Dr. Ludwig's?

Peach: Fine, fine, whatever.

Peach and Lemmy make it to Dr. Ludwig's, and he is upset.

Dr. Ludwig: Do you have any idea how late you are, Peach?

Peach: Tell me.

Dr. Ludwig: Anyway, we're out of Pukamon.

Peach: I want that one!

Dr. Ludwig: Do you even know what that is?

Peach: No... BUT I WANT IT!

Dr. Ludwig: That is a Muncher. It does nothing. Even though it is extremely difficult to defeat, it does absolutely nothing, and the only way it can win in battle is if another Pukamon is stupid enough to walk into its mouth.

Peach: Sounds neat, I WANT IT!

Dr. Ludwig: Quiet already, you're starting to sound like Wendy! Ok, ok, I'll give you the Muncher. But that's all I'm giving you!

Peach: Yea! I've got a Muncher, I've got a Muncher!

Lemmy: Peach, come on, even a Goomba would've been better than that stupid thing.

Peach: So what? It's hard to defeat it, Dr. Ludwig said.

Lemmy: It also doesn't do anything though! Gah! You are such an idiot!

Peach: Well, don't worry about that, Lemmy, let's just find some Pukamon to catch!

Lemmy: And how do you expect to catch a Pukamon? With that stupid thing?

Peach: Muncher! Attack!

The Muncher just sits there.

Peach: Come on, Muncher! Don't disappoint me!

Lemmy: That's all it does!

Peach: Well, walk into its mouth! Then you'll be sorry.

Lemmy: Sorry Peach, but I'M NOT THAT STUPID!

Peach: Well fine then. Hey look at that! It's a Lakitu! I'm going to catch it!

Lemmy: And how, pray tell, do you plan to do that?

Peach: Muncher, sit!

The Muncher does as it's told, not because it wants to obey Peach, but because that's all it CAN do.

Muncher: Muncher!

Lemmy: And what is that supposed to do?

Peach: Quiet! If we're lucky, maybe Lakitu will fly really, really, really low, and it'll land in Muncher's mouth, and then I can catch it!

Lemmy: Catch it with what? You don't even have any Pukaballs!

Peach: Good point- I'll be right back, Lemmy.

Peach runs off into the distance and  comes back with a bag full of Pukaballs.

Lemmy: Where did you get all those from?

Peach: I found them all in Officer Jenny's jail.

Lemmy: WHAT?!  You stole them from the jail?!

Peach: Yeah, so? She won't miss them.

Officer Jenny: HEY! Get back here with those Pukaballs! You're under arrest!

Peach: Muncher, return.

Lemmy: Well, let's get out of here, quick, Peach!

Peach: Not quite yet, Lemmy.

Peach throws a Pukaball at Officer Jenny, and it traps her inside.

Peach: It looks like I made real good use of the super-ultra-mega-extreme ball.

Lemmy: But she's not even a Pukamon!

Peach: She is now! And now, I have the only Officer Jenny in the world!

Meanwhile, a periscope appears from a puddle.

Voice 1:  Did you see that? Peach caught an Officer Jenny!

Voice 2: Yes, I saw that, I'm looking through the periscope too you know, even though I guess you wouldn't know that because you're obviously too stupid to realize that, but I can see everything that's going on up there because I'm so smart, and I have really good eyes, but they have good eyes too, so we'd better put down the periscope before they spot it, and now I
think we've been spotted since Lemmy is looking right at the periscope, and he's coming closer, and he's spinning it around!  AUGH! I'm getting dizzy!

Voice 1: Then let go of it, moron.

Voice 3: Will you two quit playing around? We've got work to do! We have to steal that Officer Jenny, as well as that Muncher.

Voices 1 and 2: SHUT UP!

Back above the ground....

Lemmy: What is this periscope sticking out of this puddle for?

Peach: Who cares? Some one probably just spying on us. I don't care if they do, though, I'll just steal their Pukamon.

Officer Jenny: Let me out of this ball!

Peach: Lemmy, let's play some baseball, using the Officer Jenny ball.

Lemmy: Ok.

Officer Jenny: NO!

Peach makes the pitch, and Lemmy hits it straight up.

Peach: Good hit, Lemmy.

When the ball lands, Peach starts beating up on it.

Lemmy: Why are you doing that, Peach?

Peach: Because I feel like beating up Officer Jenny. Is that good enough for you?

Lemmy: Look at that over there! What is it?

Peach: Don't worry, I stole Dr. Ludwig's Pukadex. I can find out what it is now!

Lemmy: Dr. Ludwig isn't going to be happy...

Pukadex: Angry Sun. Evolved form of Fire Snake. This Pukamon is extremely rare, and there is thought only to be one or two in existance.

Peach: I don't want that one.

Lemmy: You don't want it? But think of all the Pukamon-

Peach: I want cute Pukamon. That thing's ugly. Let's skip it.

Lemmy: Well then, I'm going to catch it!  Buster Beetle, go!

Buster Beetle: Buster!

Peach: Put that away Lemmy! I don't want you carrying around an Angry Sun with you everywhere you go.

Lemmy: But I-

Peach: NOW!

Lemmy: Ok, ok, I won't catch it. Buster Beetle, return.

Peach: I like having control over you.

Lemmy: I hate you.

Peach: Anyway-

Mystery Kid: I challenge you to a Pukamon battle!

Peach: You're on!

Lemmy: But you don't have anything!

Peach: No, I have a Muncher and an Officer Jenny.

Lemmy: Grrr...

Peach: Muncher, I choose you!

Muncher: Muncher!

Lemmy: Like you had a choice?

Peach: Quiet you!

Mystery Kid: Cheep Cheep, I choose you!

Cheep Cheep: Cheep!

Peach: Muncher, sit!

Lemmy: Peach, you don't need to tell it to do that- that's all it does! Gah!

Mystery Kid: Cheep Cheep, bounce around!

The Cheep Cheep bounces around and eventually lands in Muncher's mouth.

Mystery Kid: AUGH! That stupid Muncher of yours ate my Cheep Cheep! That was my only Pukamon!

Lemmy: Well, what do you expect, using a Cheep Cheep on land?

Peach: Hey, that means I won! Now give me a badge!

Mystery Kid: What? I'm not a gym leader!

Peach produces a giant mallet magically and conks Mystery Kid with it. She then steals his only badge.

Peach: I've won the grass badge!

Lemmy: You mean you STOLE the grass badge.

Peach: Yeah, yeah, same difference.

Meanwhile, Peach and Lemmy are being spied on.

Voice 1: Should we introduce ourselves yet?

Voice 2: No, we shouldn't introduce ourselves yet, because they don't have anything worth stealing yet. I mean, why would we want a stupid Muncher or an Officer Jenny? I mean, Officer Jenny isn't even a real Pukamon! No, I say we wait until they get something worth stealing, because I'm not going to-


Voice 1 hits Voice 2 with a large mallet.

Voice 3: Everyone knows that you're Morton anyway.

Voice 2: Oh, come on, no one knows that I'm Morton, because we didn't get to the part of the episode yet where I announce that I'm Morton, and- wait a minute, scratch that, when we get to the part of the episode when I announce whoever I am, whether I'm the great, magnificent, koopariffic Morton Koopa Jr., or some other stupid person, who is part of-


Voice 1 hits Mor- I mean, Voice 2 with that large mallet again.

Voice 1: Shut up already, they'll hear you. We must attack soon though, or we won't even get to do our speech in this episode.

Peach: Did I hear something coming from that tree over there?

Voice 2: No, you heard nothing, so just go away, only this tree here, nothing to look at, so just go on your way, because you'll just get bored if you keep looking at this tree, since I, a tree, don't do anything, and-

Voice 1: SHUT UP! I- I mean, I'm only a tree here, so you may go on your way.

Voice 3: (to Voice 1) Smart. Did you forget that trees don't talk?

Voice 1: Well don't worry. Peach is too stupid to know that.

Peach: Let's go, Lemmy, it's just a talking tree.

Lemmy: Trees don't talk!

Peach: Oh yeah, you're right! Trees don't talk.

Voice 1: I didn't say anything though. I didn't talk.

Peach: Ok, the tree says it didn't talk, so let's continue on.

Lemmy: You are so stupid.

Peach and Lemmy continue walking down the road, and suddenly-


Lemmy: That? That's just a stupid Tweeter.

Peach: I'll bet my Pukadex says differently!

Pukadex: Tweeter. It is a dumb masked bird that just hops around. It is slow, it can't fly, and is utterly useless. Since it does not evolve, there is no real point in catching one.

Peach: Pukie didn't say that Tweeter was stupid!

Lemmy: Pukie? Did you just call your Pukadex Pukie?

Peach: It's my nickname for it.

Pukadex: Please, I do not like being called Pukie. My name is Scott.

Peach: Whatever you say, Pukie! Hahaha!

Pukadex: Grrr...

Peach: Anyway, Lemmy, that birdie with the maskie is just so cute! I must have it!

Lemmy: Well, your Muncher will just eat it, and Officer Jenny will just arrest us both.

Peach: I'll catch it myself!

Tweeter: Tweeter.

Lemmy: If there's one Pukamon a stupid human could catch, it'd be that Tweeter!

Peach: Ack! I can't catch it! It's too strong!

Lemmy: That Tweeter couldn't push my ball!

Peach: No matter. I'll throw a rock at it.

Peach throws the rock at Tweeter. Tweeter becomes angry.

Lemmy: What was that for?

Peach: I was hoping it would knock it out.

Lemmy: That didn't work, so just- NO!

Peach throws one of those giant boulders from Super Mario Land at Tweeter.

Tweeter: Tweeeeeeeet...

Lemmy: That thing's probably dead! You idiot!

Peach: I don't care. Masterball, go!

Lemmy: What?! You're using a Masterball to catch a dead Tweeter?

Peach: It only cost you $100.

Lemmy: ME? It cost ME $100?

Peach: I used your credit card! Tee hee!

Lemmy: Can I ask you a question?

Peach: What?

Lemmy: How come you were able pick up that giant boulder, but you couldn't budge Tweeter?

Peach: How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

Lemmy: Shut up already! Nevermind!

Suddenly, three figures jump out in front of Peach and Lemmy.

Voice 1: Prepare for Koopas.

Voice 2: Make that Dooblas, Triplas, Quadruplas, Quintuplas-


Voice 1: SHUT UP! You're ruining the rhyme!

Peach: Can we go now?

Voice 1: WAIT! We're starting over again! Prepare for Koopas.

Voice 2: Make that Dooblas.

Voice 1: To protect the world from Fat Mario.

Voice 2: To play the game Fighters Aero.

Voice 1: To denounce the evils of Toad and Peach.

Voice 2: To reach for that within our reach.

Voice 1: Wendy!

Voice 2: Morton!

Wendy: Team Wendy blasts off at the speed of zoom!

Morton: Surrender? No way! You are very doomed!

Bullet Bill: Bullet Bill needs room! Make room! I'm going to crash! Help!

Bullet Bill crashes into a tree.

Bullet Bill: You know how much that hurts?

Wendy: Why, oh why do we have to have a stupid talking Pukamon assistant?

Morton: I'd feel naked without him.

Wendy: Morton, you ARE naked! You don't wear clothes!

Bullet Bill: Don't make me think about that! And can you help me out of this tree?

Wendy: Oh, all right. Just hold still. There you go. You're out.

Bullet Bill: Augh! I'm about to crash into another tree!

Bullet Bill crashes into another tree.

Bullet Bill: Anyone have an aspirin?

Wendy: You've just got to learn to stay still.

Bullet Bill: I'm sorry, we Bullet Bills don't know how to stay still.

Wendy: You were staying still in that tree earlier.

Bullet Bill: I was STUCK in it!

Wendy: Morton, hold onto Bullet Bill so he doesn't go flying away.

Morton: Ok, okie dokie, all right, will do, I shall succeed, you can count on me, I won't let you down, let's-

Wendy hits Morton with a giant mallet she produced.

Wendy: Just hold him!

Peach: Why are you here, anyway?

Wendy: We've come to steal your Pukamon.

Bullet Bill: Actually, I'M just here to get some air time. I actually think all of your Pukamon are absolutely stupid!

Wendy: Well, me and Morton are going to steal your Pukamon anyway, so hand them over!

Morton: Just hand them over.

Bullet Bill: Don't let me go! Augh! You let me go! Ouch!

Mario: Another stupid Bullet Bill crashed into me. Go away!

Bullet Bill: Not again! Augh!

Mario: Watch out for that (CRASH!) tree.

Bullet Bill: Why do I do this?

Meanwhile, Wendy and Morton are trying to grab Peach's Pukamon away from her. You'd think it'd be easy considering she couldn't even budge that Tweeter earlier, but they're actually having trouble.

Bullet Bill: Just give it up, you two! Why in the world do you want a Muncher, an Officer Jenny, and a dead Tweeter?

Peach: Bullet Bill and tree sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Bullet Bill: I'm not kissing the tree! I'm stuck in it!

Wendy: Why would a tree sit in a tree anyway?

Lemmy: I've got an idea, Peach. I'll use one of my Pukamon to help!

Peach: Go to it, and make it a cute one!

Lemmy: Bob-omb, I choose you!

Bob-omb: Bob!

Lemmy goes to get Bullet Bill out of the tree and gets him stuck in Wendy's bow.

Lemmy: Bob-omb, explode!

Bob-omb: Omb!


Wendy, Morton, and Bullet Bill: Looks like Team Wendy's blasting off again!

Announcer:  Nabisco!


So it looks like Princess Peach has caught three Pukamon today! She has a Muncher, an Officer Jenny, and a dead Tweeter. And she even stole- I mean, WON the grass badge. What will Peach do in the next exciting episode? We'll find out on the next episode of Pukamon!

The End

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