Salvo the Slime Attacks

By Golden Road

Wendy was playing Yoshi's Island the TV room as Lemmy walked in.

Lemmy: What'cha doing?

Wendy: I'm playing Yoshi's Island. Why, what did it look like? Are you  trying to say-

Lemmy: Whoa, calm down! I was just trying to start conversation, I didn't mean to upset you like that.

Wendy: Ok, I'm sorry I got so upset. I just need to concentrate for this part.

Lemmy: This looks like the part right before Salvo the Slime.

Wendy: Yes, and I need quiet so I can beat him. He's already killed me 27 times today.

Lemmy: Salvo the Slime? You can't beat Salvo the Slime?

Wendy: Well, he's tough! I always run out of eggs trying to kill him, and he always seems to push me into the lava pit.

Lemmy: You can't beat Salvo the Slime? Hahaha, that's the funniest thing  I've heard all day! HEY GUYS! WENDY CAN'T BEAT SALVO THE SLIME!

Larry comes running into the room.

Larry: What? Wendy can't beat Salvo the Slime? Ha, you're pathetic!

Roy comes running into the room too.

Roy: What? You can't beat Salvo? Even Larry can beat Salvo! I'd punch you, except that Salvo's doing a good enough job as it is! Ha!

Lemmy: What do you think those yellow slimes are for that fall from the ceiling, Wendy?

Wendy: Don't I need to jump on them to kill them?

Lemmy: Did you ever think- gah! Just nevermind! You're pathetic.

Wendy: Well fine! It's not like you can beat Sluggy!

Lemmy: Well *sniff* he's too fast!

(Lemmy: I CAN too beat Sluggy! I beat the whole game! Nah.)

Roy punches Lemmy.

Lemmy: Hey! What was that for?

Roy:  You can't even beat Sluggy!  I can beat the whole game, of course!

Lemmy: By cheating though.

Roy: Is there any better way?

Wendy: I'll show you! I'll beat Salvo this time!

Wendy gets out her "egg refill" item, and enters the door to Salvo the Slime. She hits him with five eggs, and he's just about dead.

Wendy: Hey guys, I'm going to beat him this time! All I need to do is hit him with this last egg!

Lemmy: Just get away from that lava pit. Why don't you fight him away from the lava pit?

Wendy: Because I'm such a great player, I can fight him on the side of the room with the lava pit!

Lemmy: Didn't he kill you 27 times already?

Wendy: Yes, but this time, I'm fighting on the side of the room with the lava pit.

Lemmy: (to himself) Ask a stupid question....

As Wendy throws the final egg at Salvo, and the egg is just about to hit him and kill him, the power goes out for a second, then comes back on.

Wendy: Ack! No fair! I was just about to kill him!

Lemmy: Yeah, sure.

Wendy: It'll take me forever to kill him now.

Lemmy: I knew you'd never be able to kill him.

Wendy: SHUT UP!

Lemmy: You don't tell me to shut up! I'm not Morton! I'm leaving.

Wendy: Ugh, why do I have all these brothers? I can beat Salvo, I know I can!

Wendy turns the game back on and goes to Salvo the Slime's room. When she gets there, though, Salvo isn't there.

Wendy: Huh? That's funny... where's Salvo? Stupid game... Salvo knows I'll kill him, so he's off hiding.

Meanwhile, Morton is in the Koopa Auditorium, giving one of his famous practice speeches, and Susan is there listening intently.

Morton: ...and so I say, let the Koopas rule the Mushroom Kingdom. Centuries ago, Koopas ruled the Mushroom Kingdom, and the evil Mushroom people overthrew us. I say it's time we-

Susan:  ACK!

Morton:  Why did you yell in the middle of my practice speech?

Susan:  I'm sorry Morton, but I feel something slimy on my leg.

Morton:  Some of your soda probably just leaked out of the cup.

Susan:  But I wasn't drinking soda.  Can you turn on the lights so I can see what it is?

Morton: Fine, fine. I hope this doesn't take long, because I want to get back to my speech.

Morton turns on the lights in the auditorium.


Susan looks down to see a giant light green slime covering her legs and moving towards the rest of her body.

Susan: Morton, save me from this horrible, disgusting slimy creature! Please save me!

Morton: How? I don't know what to do!

Susan: Just pull it off of me!

Morton: Ok, sounds good enough.

Morton rushes over and tries to pull the slime off of Susan, but Morton gets tangled in it. Soon, both of their bodies are all covered in slime. Then they both realize that they are stuck inside of Salvo the Slime.

Morton: Hey! I know who you are! I beat you over a hundred times trying to get a perfect score in your level.

Salvo: Don't remind me. And if you start your incessant rambling, I'll release you into a lava pit!

Morton: What?!

Susan: What are you doing to us?

Salvo: I'm tired of being a wimpy boss in Yoshi's Island. I want this castle! I will trap you all in my body, and eventually, you will all run out of air and suffocate!

Susan: I'm too beautiful to die!

Salvo: Ugh! You Koopas are such a hideous species, I'll be glad when you are all dead! But now, I am off to capture Bowser.

At the time, Bowser is lying in his royal bed taking a royal nap, but he is awakened as Salvo the Slime enters his room.

Bowser: Stop! How dare you enter my room! You- you, what are you anyway?

Salvo: You don't play video games much do you? Anyway, I suppose you were too young to remember me. I'm Salvo the Slime, and I'm taking over this castle!


Several Hammer Brothers and Boomerang Brothers come into the room, throwing hammers and boomerangs at Salvo, but all the weapons go right through him, although a hammer hits Morton.

Morton: OW! Hey, watch it you guys!

Salvo soon traps the Hammer Brothers and Boomerang Brothers inside its body.

Bowser: Kamek! Kamek, get here at once!

Morton: Didn't you give Kamek the week off, King Dad?

Bowser: Yeah, so? I need him right now!

Morton: He's visiting Earth.

Bowser: You'll never get away with this, you slime ball! When Kamek gets back-

Salvo: When Kamek gets back, this castle will be abandoned, and he will go out looking for you. He won't know what happened!

With that, Salvo trapped Bowser inside his body, and Roy entered the room, dragging Iggy behind him.

Roy: What's all this commo- AUGH!

Salvo: Just walk right into me! Makes it easier for me to catch you all!

And Salvo trapped Roy and Iggy inside his body.

Salvo: Let's see who's left... Ludwig, I must get Ludwig.

At the time, Ludwig von Koopa had Karma Koopa and a Crazee Dazee strapped to a machine.

Karma: Kooky, why are you doing this?

Ludwig: Well, my father is not fond of you being half Yoshi. But I'm sure my father wouldn't mind if you were turned into a pretty humming flower, now would he?

Karma: That reminds me, is there any way to make Crazee Dazee stop humming that tune?

Ludwig: Well, soon your body will be humming that tune.  I just hope it works this time and we don't have another power outage because of the machine.

Salvo then slimes his way into Ludwig's room.

Salvo: Hello there, Ludwig von Koopa. Now, prepare to suffer!

Ludwig starts cracking up in that crazy laugh of his.

Karma: Kooky, do you have any idea who this is?

Ludwig: Yes, it's that pathetically easy slimeball in Yoshi's Island. He thinks he can beat me, the great Ludwig von Koopa?

Ludwig continues cracking up, but before he knows it, Salvo has trapped Ludwig in his body.

Ludwig: Hey! What's going on here?

Salvo: You had better save your breath. It may be your last.

Karma: Don't kill him! I need my Kooky back!

Salvo: Don't you worry, you freak of nature! I'm taking you in too!

Salvo then traps Karma inside his body, and then he goes off to Lemmy's room.

Lemmy: Stop it right there! Salvo?

Salvo: Ah, how nice it is of you to recognize me. Now, prepare to get trapped within my slime.

Lemmy: Stop! One more move and I'll freeze you with my freeze gun!

Salvo: I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Lemmy: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't freeze you right now!

Salvo: Because if you freeze me, I will eventually thaw, but your family trapped inside me will freeze to death.

Lemmy: Ok, I guess that's a good reason. Now if you don't mind, I'll just be on my way, taking a walk to-

Salvo: I don't think so. I'm taking you too!

And with that, Salvo trapped Lemmy inside his body. Salvo then went to Larry's room and trapped Larry inside his body. Salvo finally went to Wendy's room to trap her, but Wendy wasn't in her room.

Salvo: Hmm... where might Wendy be? I still must get her, for I cannot completely take over the castle if she is still around.

Morton: Give it up! She'll save us and we'll get out of here! You can't keep us here forever! Just wait until Wendy saves us and then you'll be sorry, Mr. Slime, Mr. Slimy Slime, Mr.-

Susan: SHUT UP! I- I mean, sorry to be so rough Morton, but you're using up the last of the air.

Salvo searched the castle, and eventually he heard the boss intro music coming from a room. He there found Wendy, sitting in front of the TV, playing Yoshi's Island, waiting in Salvo the Slime's room.

Wendy: What is WRONG with this stupid game? How long will it take for that stupid slime guy to show up already?!

Salvo: I am right here!

Wendy: Well- ACK!  Get back in that video game where you belong!

Salvo: I think not. I am going to take you prisoner as well,  inside my body!

Wendy: Not today! Lucky for everyone, I like to cook.

Salvo: Cook anything you like! It won't save you! And this is reality, so don't even think about throwing those stupid eggs at me!

Wendy: That is not what I had in mind! What I had in mind was to use THIS!

Wendy threw open several boxes of Jell-O powder at Salvo the Slime.

Salvo: NO! You'll pay for this, you wretched little-

Wendy: Ah, shut up! You lost! Guys, just eat your way out.

The victims trapped inside Salvo the Slime ate through him until they escaped his body.

Morton: Orange Jell-O? Did you have to use orange Jell-O mix? I prefer lime Jell-O. Lime is the best, anything goes with lime Jell-O, or watermelon Jell-O, that's good too, or-

Susan: Morton, please not now, just not right now. Anyway, thank you Wendy.

Wendy: Susan, I just want you to know that if it was only you trapped in there, I would have let Salvo kill you.

Susan: Wendy, you're so funny.

Wendy: I try not to be. Oh Dad? Since I saved you, can I have that makeup kit I always wanted that costs only ten thousand coins?

Bowser: Since you saved us, I'll give you five extra coins in your allowance this week. Complain and I'll throw you in the dungeon!

Wendy: Good enough.

And so all was well in Bowser's castle. Susan was back to listening to Morton's speech he didn't finish earlier, Ludwig gave up trying to switch Karma's body after a second power outage that got him thrown in the dungeon, and Wendy finally knew she truly could beat Salvo the Slime.

The End

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