By Golden Road

Ludwig: Yes! I have finally done it! My greatest invention ever!

Lemmy: I thought you said your LAST invention was the greatest ever.

Ludwig: Well this one takes the cake. This is my most incredible invention yet!

Lemmy: Well, what does your so great invention do?

Ludwig: I'll show you. If I point this remote where I'm standing, and I press this button...


Ludwig: Now, you are where I was standing, and I am where you were standing.

Lemmy: So, it switches whoever you point it at with where I'm standing?

Ludwig: No, whoever the person who is zapped is thinking about, those two people switch places. I know, you don't have to tell me, I'm a genius!

Lemmy: So, what are you going to do with this?

Ludwig: Simple, Lemmy. Go lock yourself in the dungeon.

Lemmy: What?!

Ludwig: Lock yourself in the dungeon, and think of Mario.

Lemmy: Oh, I got you now! So then, I'll wind up wherever Mario is, and he'll wind up in the dungeon.

Ludwig: I need four other siblings too, to make sure we can trap everyone down here!

Lemmy: How do you plan to do that?

Ludwig: Simple. (Ludwig gets on the intercom.) First four siblings down here get a free chocolate bar!

Wendy rushes down like lightning, followed by Morton, Roy, and Iggy. Larry is nowhere around.

Ludwig: Guess Larry won't be getting a chocolate bar...

Lemmy: I don't think he cares.

Wendy: Where's my chocolate? I want it NOW!

Ludwig: First, lock yourselves in the dungeon.

Roy: What? You'd better be joking, Kooky! Or else-

Ludwig: In a few seconds, if you listen to me, you'll be in the Mushroom Kingdom, perhaps even Peach's castle.

Wendy: Ooh, I've always wanted to go there!

Ludwig: First, get in the dungeon cell. Trust me here.

Roy: You're dead if this doesn't work!

Ludwig: Trust me now. Now, here's what I want you to do. Lemmy, think hard about Mario.

Lemmy: Got it!

Ludwig: Iggy, think hard about Luigi.

Iggy: Anything for a speaking role!

Ludwig: Roy, think hard about Yoshi.

Roy: I'll think about beating him up!

Ludwig: Morton, think hard about Toad.

Morton: Will do, I'm already thinking about that little pip-squeak Mushroom guy, ooh, he's a bit ugly, and he's bald too, that's why he always wears that hat of his, but then again, I'm almost bald too, so I shouldn't complain much about that, because he might be saying the same stuff about me, so I'll just shut up now.

Ludwig: And Wendy-

Wendy: Yeah, yeah, I know, the Princess.

Ludwig: Right. Now get ready. When I point this remote at you and press the button-

Meanwhile, at Peach's castle...

Mario  I love when you-a cook spaghetti for dinner, Peach.

Peach: It's steak, not spaghetti, Mario.

Mario: Well, it looks like-a spaghetti to me.

Luigi: Would you stop eating my hair, Mario?

Mario: You don't have- hair, Toad.

Luigi: I'm- Luigi, not Toad!

Toad: At least I wear a hat. Morton should wear one of these hats too, he'd look less hideous.

Yoshi: Yoshi hungry! Want steak!

Peach: Don't worry, the steaks are done, so just settle down.

All: Yay! Finally!

Peach: Now the first steak will go to-

A flash of light appears, as Mario turns into Lemmy, Luigi turns into Iggy, Yoshi turns into Roy, and Toad turns into Morton.

Morton: Yes! Now we have the palace. It's ours! No pesky plumbers to stop us, and no annoying Princess here to stop us. It's ours! It's-

Lemmy: Peach is still here, Morton.

Peach: What did you do with Mario, Yoshi, Toad, and the dumb guy?!

Roy: What was our stupid sister thinking of? I'll pound her!

Lemmy: Nevermind that, we can take on Peach, right?

Meanwhile, back at Koopa Castle...

Ludwig: You are all my prisoners!

Mario: It's nice of you to give us free room and board here.

Luigi: Let us out of here, you monster!

Toad: How did we get in here, anyway?

Ludwig: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! Aw, I can't help showing off my evil genius, I gotta' tell someone.  This remote here, when pointed at someone, will switch that person's position with whoever that person was thinking of at the moment. My siblings were locked in this cell, and I pointed the remote at them while they were thinking of you. So-

Luigi: They're in Peach's castle?!

Ludwig: You're not so dumb after all!

Daisy: Let us out of here, you creep!

Ludwig: Shut up, Pea- AUGH! You're not Peach!

Daisy: Great, no one knows my name. How typical.

Luigi: Want to go out on a date, Daisy?

Daisy: Uh, Luigi, we're trapped in here, remember?

Ludwig: Wendy was thinking of the wrong Princess! I could kill her!

Meanwhile, back at Peach's castle...

Peach: Say "uncle", Roy!

Roy: Never! I can get out of this!

Peach: Say "uncle"!

Roy: Ok, ok, uncle, uncle!

Lemmy: Who would've known Peach was a blackbelt?

Peach: Where are Mario, Yoshi, Toad, and the dumb guy?

Lemmy: Well...


Lemmy:  Or what?

Peach:  Or THIS!

Peach throws Lemmy up into the sun... is he dead? Ah, well, who cares?
(Lemmy: Uh… me…)


Roy: The dungeon! The dungeon! No more! I can't take it!

Morton: Oh, Roy, you're such a blabbermouth, I thought you were tough, and a little girl like Peach makes you so scared, face it, you're nothing but a wimp, and wait until everyone else finds out, you'll be a laughingstock. Boy, I can't-


Peach: Shut up, Morton!

Morton: Ow, ow, ow, ow...

Peach: Anyway, to the dungeon I go. And oh yes... GUARDS! Take these Koopa Kids away!

Four guards come in and take the Koopalings away... no wait, the Koopalings could fight back. Eh, how do I handle this... let's just pretend the Koopalings got stuck in the castle prison somehow.

Now, in Super Mario Land, where Princess Daisy rules, we must find Wendy there!

Wendy: Ooh, I like it here! These people are so unadvanced, they think I'm a god sent down here because they've been bad! Haha!

Chibibo: Would you like more seafood, your royal goddess?

Wendy: Hehe, you bet, now!

Well, it looks like Wendy is having a good time. Let's see how Ludwig and Mario's crew are doing.

Mario: I'm starving! How could you lock us down here with no food, Ludwig?

Toad: You stupid #@(*&, you've been down here ten minutes, and you ate a lot before you got zapped down here.

Mario: Ten minutes? It feels like it's been a whole twelve minutes!

Ludwig: SHUT UP! Now, I'll go get King Dad to show him, and you all can rot in your cells!

Daisy: Let me out of here!

Luigi: I'm in love.

Daisy: My sister will get us out of here!

Ludwig: You mean your puny little wimpy sister Peach? Ha! That'll be the day!

Daisy: She's tougher than she looks!

Ludwig: You're right! That would explain how King Dad can kidnap her constantly, you are such a little genius!

Daisy: You're being sarcastic.

Ludwig: Ironic, actually... I hate how the "little people" misuse sarcastic.

Daisy: Who cares?!

Luigi: You tell him, Daisy!

Ludwig: Now just sit there while I go get King Dad... ooh, he will be so happy to see you!

Ludwig runs up to get Bowser, but of course, he doesn't take the dungeon key with him.

Luigi: If only we could reach that key, we could get out of here.

Daisy: Oh, this story is so stupidly predictable. Peach is going to come down here and use the key to save us.

And at that moment, they see Peach coming down the stairs... carried by Bowser, who throws her in the dungeon cell.

Bowser: You forget, Peach, I'm a little bigger than my weakling kids.

Peach: Sorry, I was going to save you guys... turns out Bowser has a blackbelt too.

Daisy: Ok, maybe this story isn't going to be so predictable after all.

At that moment, a spaceship lands in the dungeon and frees the Mario gang.

Peach: Hold it, hold it! Golden Road?

Golden Road: Yes, Peach?

Peach: This is getting absolutely ridiculous! Sure, unpredictability is good, but a spaceship? Puh-lease!

Golden Road: What? Don't you like reading a story that's unpredictable?

Peach: Well sure, but this is just plain stupid. Please lose the spaceship.

Golden Road: Ok, fine, whatever you want!

The spaceship that landed turns out to be only a hologram, so the Mario gang is still trapped in the dungeon.

Daisy: Great! Thanks to you, Peach, we're still trapped in the dungeon!

Peach: Sorry, but that would've been a stupid way to be rescued. I just couldn't allow it.

Luigi: Never fear, Daisy my Beauty! I have the remote!  All I need to do is point it at myself, and think of-

Mario swipes the remote out of Luigi's hand and points it at himself, then presses the button, and a bowl of pasta appears where Mario once was.

Mario (in Peach's castle): D'oh! Where's my pasta I was thinking of? This stupid remote doesn't work!

Luigi: Mario was thinking of a stupid pasta? Great, NOW how will we get out of here?

Toad: At least that @#$(* Mario is gone, and I can finally have some pasta without Mario stealing it from me.

Yoshi: Mario imitate Hamburglar too much, only steal pasta, not hamburgers.

Luigi: Yoshi, you've never been to Earth, how do you know about the McDonald's characters?

Yoshi: What McDonald's?

Peach: Maybe Mario will come back here and save us!

Daisy: Yeah right, that idiot couldn't eat his way out of a bowl of pasta... eh, I mean a bowl of oatmeal!

Yoshi: Bleach! Yoshi hate oatmeal!

Luigi: You're right, cream of wheat beats oatmeal anyday!

Peach: No, grits is the best!

Yoshi: Cream of wheat? Grits? Bleach!

Luigi: Cream of wheat rules!

Daisy: No, oatmeal, people!

Peach: Grits is-

Toad: STOP IT, you #@*(#)! Who the heck cares? We're trapped in this stupid cell! We need to get out.

Meanwhile, Mario is on his way to defeat the Koopas!

Mario: Finally, I caught you Koopa Kids! My job here is done!

Roy: You idiot! We've been in here! All you did was glance this way and saw us trapped here!

Back in Super Mario Land...

Wendy is gone! Who knows where she ran off to?

Anyway, back in Koopa Castle, the prisoners are still trapped... it surely is taking a long time for Ludwig to get back to the dungeon with Bowser... he must have just woken up or something.

(Lemmy: Er… Bowser already knows, he was here earlier! Ludwig must have blown a gasket in his mind!)

Peach: Face it, we're in here for life.

Toad: It's all that #@(*&%$ Luigi's fault too.

Luigi: MY fault?!

Toad: Yes, your fault. If you had held on to that remote tighter, we'd be out of here by now! Thank you, oh thank you, Luigi!

Yoshi: Toad be ironic.

Peach: Do you have to talk like Ludwig?

Toad: Yoshi HARDLY talks like Ludwig.

Daisy: Don't blame Luigi; he may be a weakling, but he's still cute.

Luigi: I'm in a-love.

At that moment, they see Wendy coming down the dungeon steps.

Wendy: Shh, be quiet you guys, I'm getting you out of here.

Luigi: I'd rather be saved by the spaceship.

Peach: You must have switched places with my sister.

Wendy: Well, I always wanted to rule Super Mario Land, but it got boring.

Daisy: I suppose it has nothing to do with the fact that there are no malls there?

Wendy: Of course it does! You must go insane there! Anyway, I like Peach, I can't let her suffer down here like this.

Luigi: Oh, you weren't here to rescue me because of my dashing good looks?

Wendy: Puh-lease! If you weren't in the same cell as Peach, you'd stay locked up down here!

Peach: Thank you, Wendy! I'll need to remember to get you something for your birthday!

Wendy: It was two days ago.

Peach: Oh well, there's always next year! Bye!

The Mario gang hurries out Koopa Castle. A few seconds later, Ludwig and Bowser come down the stairs.

Bowser: I've decided to let you go... into the lava pits! Bwahaha!

Ludwig: Uh, King Dad, they seem to have escaped.

Bowser: WHY did you leave the key down here? You, you...

Ludwig: Actually, you were the last one to use it.

Bowser: This is your fault! Get in that dungeon NOW!

Bowser tosses Ludwig in the dungeon, and he lands on his head, and Wendy sneaks out behind Bowser.

Ludwig: Wendy!  You little wretched... Wendy let them out!

Bowser: Well, I don't see her down here, do you?


As soon as Bowser turns his head, Wendy is out of sight.

Bowser: Congratulations, you get one extra day for lying to me!

Ludwig: I thought we were supposed to lie.

Bowser: Not to ME, though!

Bowser walks out, and Ludwig is trapped in the dungeon. Morton, Roy, Lemmy, and Iggy are trapped in the castle prison. Larry and Wendy are the only Koopalings that are free... wait, Larry's free? I'll change that.

Larry:  Now I feel like going Koopa bowling!

Larry gets out his bowling ball, and notices a lit fuse on it.

Larry: Uh oh.


So, Ludwig is stuck in the dungeon, Morton, Roy, Lemmy, and Iggy are stuck in the castle prison, and Larry is blown up.

The End

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