Wendy Koopa entered the Royal Koopa Dining Room in her Water Land Castle at 5:30 PM and took her seat between Lemmy and Larry. She looked at the menu card at her place. She was not very hungry, so she ordered a plate of spaghetti.

Soon a servant came with the food. When the servant placed the spaghetti in front of Wendy, she pushed her fork in and took a scoop. Nearly the whole plate of spaghetti came up. Wendy dropped it back onto her plate and tried again, but the only way she could get only a few strands of spaghetti onto her fork was to take a scoop and pull with her fingers.

This annoyed Wendy, so she set to work thinking about why spaghetti clumped. She looked at her spaghetti, and then it occurred to her: the spaghetti was not clumping, it was just getting itself tied in knots. Wendy wondered if it might be better to make tiny little strands of spaghetti that could not get tangled.

It was spring, so when Wendy finished her spaghetti at 6:15, it was still light outside. Wendy excused herself and walked outside to her garden house. She crawled inside and pulled the woven grass flap hanging from the doorway across and slipped a little hole in the bottom corner over a stick-peg on the bottom corner of the doorway. Wendy made sure that the large leaves over the round windows to neighboring grass houses were in place. She wanted to be left alone.

Wendy sat on the small stool in the grassy enclosure. She had started to get a bud of an idea while she sat eating her spaghetti, but the thought kept slipping out of her grasp. Wendy concentrated on spaghetti, and soon the idea came clearly to the front of her mind.

Wendy took a piece of paper and a pencil out of a drawer in the small wooden desk in the corner of the room. She began to jot down ideas and thoughts as they came. Here are her notes:

Thoughts on Spaghetti

1. Spaghetti likes to tangle.
2. A lot of spaghetti can be squeezed into a small area.
3. Mario and Luigi like to eat spaghetti.
4. There is an abundance of spaghetti in the Mushroom Kingdom.

1. Lure Mario and Luigi.
2. Use as a net and trap Mario and Luigi.
3. Eat for energy.
4. Throw at Mario and Luigi to make them slip and fall.
5. Throw at Mario and Luigi to divert their attention.

1. Could spaghetti strands be made longer or shorter without changing the rest of the recipe or spaghetti’s other properties?
2. Could spaghetti be made to tangle in a certain way?
3. Could spaghetti be packed into a small area and then be made to pop out of the small area in a certain way / shape / formation?

The next day, Wendy got up bright and early. She did her morning chores and ate a hurried breakfast in her room. Then she rushed off to school. She had planned to do several school sessions today, because she had no meetings, but decided to take just one session or two hours worth of school. She thought that a new invention or battle plan would be considered worthy of an afternoon off from school.

It happened that Wendy’s next school session was a short one, so she took another session. When Wendy got back to her room, she called Lemmy.

"Lemmy," said Lemmy when he answered the phone.

"Hi," said Wendy. "I’m going to have to cancel our ball-riding lesson today."

Lemmy sounded insulted. "Well!"

Wendy knew Lemmy well enough to laugh. "You know I look forward to our lessons, but I just got this big breakthrough idea. It could be the biggest thing since your Freeze Gun!"

"Congrats on your idea! It’s too bad though… I thought you would earn your Advanced medal today. I was gonna give you a test. I shouldn’t have told you that, you know. Now you’ll know and be prepared and you’ll be sure to earn that medal, but hey, all the more power to you. I should stop now, I’m starting to pull a Morton."

"That’s all right. I’ll let you know what happens. When can we reschedule my lesson?"

"Um, I’m pretty much free all week. When’s good for you?"

"Depends when I finish my invention. Let’s put it… next Tuesday at 3:00. Good for you?"

"Better make it 2:30."

"Great. See you later."

Wendy hung up and got to work. She went to the kitchen and removed one raw strand of spaghetti from the box. She measured it and discovered that it was 11 ¾ inches. She measured a few more strands and found the average to be slightly less than 1 foot.

Wendy then cooked a small batch of spaghetti. She heaped the spaghetti onto a large plate and pulled out each strand so that all the spaghetti was straight and not tangled. Wendy then squished two strands of spaghetti together and tried to pull them apart. She discovered that it is fairly difficult to unstick spaghetti. Wendy threw away the two squashed strands. She took the remaining strands and attempted to stick them together to form a mesh, like part of a net. Once the mesh was put together, it was pretty strong. However, it took a long time to put the mesh together, and it was only a small section!

Wendy took the mesh, squashed it into a ball, and tossed it into the air. The spaghetti landed still in a clump. Next Wendy loaded the clump into a toy gun. The spaghetti exploded out of the gun and landed slightly looser than it had been before.

Wendy got permission to use the castle PA system. She announced that a cannon would be shot off and that no one should be alarmed. Then Wendy went outside to the target shooting range and loaded her spaghetti into one of the cannons. Wendy fired the cannon and the spaghetti flew out across the field. It landed with only the edges still crumpled. Wendy frowned. She still needed more power to make her spaghetti net open all the way.

Wendy went to her laboratory and sent to work building a bomb. First she planned what the bomb would need to be like. It would need to be hollow, to hold the spaghetti. It would also need to explode with more force than a Koopa cannon. It would be convenient if the bomb was small and light, so it could be carried and could be thrown to make it explode.

Wendy set to work building a small bomb that had eight tons of force. She didn’t worry about making it hollow; she could condense the parts later. Wendy programmed her bomb into her computer. The cannon on the computer screen fired and the spaghetti quickly opened up and flew through the air.

Wendy was pleased. She easily adjusted her bomb to be hollow, and tested it on the computer again. Surprisingly, better results. The bomb flew farther when launched. Wendy built an exact copy of her bomb, then got on the PA again and said that there would be a bomb drill later that day.

Wendy experimented with the spaghetti and found a way to assemble it quickly into a net. She wet her spaghetti, than loaded it onto a conveyor belt that pushed half of the spaghetti through the holes of one grater and half through another grater. The wet, carefully maneuvered spaghetti fell out of the graters. One half lay flat and parallel on a conveyor belt. The other half, taking a slightly longer route, fell crosswise onto the first half. The grid fell onto a waffle iron which Wendy pushed shut. After a few minutes, the spaghetti was stuck firmly together and ready to go. Wendy altered her machine to accommodate large amounts of spaghetti to form giant nets.

Wendy went outside and heaved her bomb, now filled with a medium net of real spaghetti. The shiny metal sphere exploded on impact with the ground, tossing a spaghetti net over a nearby bush. Wendy was very pleased.

Wendy went back to her laboratory. She knew she had a good invention, but somehow the look of the bomb did not please her. It was too plain, too… common. Wendy wondered how to make her bomb look more impressive. Then she had a thought. If the Marios saw her hold up a big, impressive looking bomb, they might run away before she could net them. Maybe there was a more powerful weapon than impressiveness. Perhaps if she made her bomb look silly, the Marios would not run away. If it was silly enough, the Marios might even fall down laughing, making her job even easier.

What if I made it look like a meatball? thought Wendy. Wendy screwed her hollow bomb back together and went to the kitchen. She covered her bomb in tomato sauce. This made it look like a large meatball, but it was messy and time-consuming. She would have to re-sauce her bomb every time she used it.

Wendy considered rubber. She found an old toy meatball made of lumpy red rubber and ripped it open. She wrapped the rubber around her bomb. It looked convincing and funny.

Now Wendy just wanted one more thing. In case the Marios did not fall down laughing, she needed something else to keep them in place. Something to blur their vision. Something that could explode out of her bomb and make a big thick cloud. Parmesan cheese.

Wendy glued the rubber to the outside of her bomb. She filled it with another spaghetti net and a heaping helping of Parmesan cheese. She announced that another bomb would go off but to just ignore it. Wendy went outside and prepared to toss her bomb. A passing servant giggled. Wendy waited until he was safely out of the way and threw the bomb. The spaghetti flew out and blanketed a large patch of grass. The Parmesan cheese popped out in a small dense cloud, but in less than five seconds it had expanded to a dusty white mass about half the size of a football field. At ten seconds the cheese would have covered a football field but was not hard to see through any more. By the time a minute had passed, the cloud had broken up and floated away on the wind, leaving Wendy and her spaghetti in the sunny grounds of Seashell Castle.

Wendy nodded proudly. Her bomb was ready. She went back to the castle very satisfied.

Wendy peeled the rubber off the bomb and gave it to a Koopa craftsman. She told him to make as many copies of the rubber as he could. Meanwhile Wendy worked in her laboratory building ten more bombs. Now she had a dozen. When that was done, Wendy returned to her net making. She churned out net after net, and carefully stacked them in a corner of her kitchen with wax paper between the nets.

Wendy called the kitchen to send up a crate of Parmesan cheese and 100 boxes of spaghetti. Then she went downstairs to check on the craftsman. He had made fourteen copies of the rubber. Wendy took her fifteen lumpy red circles and went upstairs.

First Wendy set aside her original copy. She knew that if she ever lost all of her bombs, she might never be able to build another just like them. Then she filled the other eleven bombs with a large wadded spaghetti net and two cups of Parmesan cheese. She glued the rubber to the bombs and set them aside.

Wendy informed Bowser of her invention- that was the rule. Then she told Lemmy. She showed them one of her bombs and explained how it worked. They were both very much impressed. When Wendy returned to her room, she locked all of the bombs in her laboratory as a precaution against curious younger brothers as well as Ludwig. Now Wendy had only to wait for the right time.

Several weeks later...

Several weeks later, Wendy was reading The Koopa Chronicle, the most well known and widely read newspaper in the Mushroom Kingdom. Wendy did not bother reading the Koopa news section. She had seen the cartoons already, so she went directly to the current news section.

Wendy saw there what she had not seen in months, but had been waiting to see for weeks: Mario and Luigi. Wendy scanned the article and saw that the Marios had come for their annual visit to Princess Toadstool’s castle. They came every year, usually during Larrium or Wendaria, though sometimes as early as Royat (Larrium, Wendaria, and Royat are periods of time in the Koopa calendar, much like our months.). They stayed for about a week, having fun. They went on picnics, swam in the castle lake, slept late, ate good meals, had parties, explored the Mushroom Kingdom, and just generally enjoyed themselves. During this time they did not look for trouble or the Koopas, and were not really on their guard.

All Wendy had to do was go to Princess Toadstool’s castle and toss a bomb at the Marios. It was so easy! She might as well capture the princess, Toad, and Yoshi while she was there.

Wendy informed Bowser of her plan. The next day, she loaded her eleven bombs onto her doomship, Flying Fish, and took off towards Princess Toadstool’s castle.

When she neared the castle, Wendy guided her doomship high into the air. She wished to remain inconspicuous until she had surveyed the scene and planned her attack. Wendy pulled out a telescope and looked down over the side of the doomship. Mario and Luigi were standing on the lawn. They looked like they were arguing. It was a likely possibility. Yoshi was paddling around in the lake while Toad sunned himself on the beach, using his hat as a pillow. Princess Toadstool came out of the castle and seemed to be trying to calm Mario and Luigi. She probably wasn’t having any luck.

Wendy smiled. How easy can you get? she thought. Wendy steered her doomship to land on a large field about a mile south of the castle. From there she loaded her lightweight bombs into a sack and transported herself behind a row of bushes outside the castle (The Koopas have magical powers that allow them to disappear and reappear in a different place. This power is called transporting.).

Wendy peered out through a small hole in the bushes. Everything was as she had seen it a few minutes ago. Mario and Luigi were arguing. Wooster, the Princess’s head servant, came out of the castle and started to vacuum the beach, much to the annoyance of Toad (Wooster has this thing about cleaning.). Princess Toadstool had to order him to stop. Wooster went inside, very insulted. Wendy had to try hard not to laugh.

After she composed herself, Wendy stepped out from behind the bushes and stood in plain view. Everyone was so busy that it was a few minutes before anyone noticed her.

Toad was getting rather annoyed at all the noise, so he was turning around to give Mario and Luigi a piece of his mind. As he turned, he saw Wendy and did a double take.

Instead of what he had intended to say, Toad yelled, "Whoa!"

Mario instantly replied, "Hey! I am not a horse! I do not respond to the command ‘whoa’!"

"You’re as stupid as a horse, and apparently you do respond," muttered Luigi. (You may have seen this joke in another story, A Waste of Time. I used it first and then my brother stole it.)

"Hey is for horses!" Toad retorted, but then he remembered why he had yelled in the first place. "And this is no place for Wendy O. Koopa!" Toad pointed and everyone turned to see Wendy, amusedly staring back at them all.

Mario was the first to speak. "What’s she gonna do? Hit us with her bag? Kick us? I’m really scared."

Wendy did nothing.

"Let’s just get rid of her so we can get on with our argument," said Luigi.

"I still say that last night my slice of pizza had more pepperoni than yours," Mario replied.

"Dream on," said Luigi.

The brothers finally advanced towards Wendy. When they got within ten feet of her, they stopped. Wendy continued doing nothing.

"Is that really Wendy?" asked Mario. "She looks more like a statue."

"Yeah," answered Luigi. "Well anyway, it’s an ugly statue. Let’s get rid of it."

Wendy kept on continuing to do nothing.

The two plumbers advanced casually towards Wendy. When they were practically in touching distance, Wendy suddenly moved. She reached into her bag, pulled out a bomb, and held it up.

Mario and Luigi stopped.

"It’s not a statue," observed Mario.

"Brilliant," muttered Luigi. Then he said, "She’s holding a meatball."

"Oh, yeah," Mario recalled. "My pizza had more pepperonis and more meatballs on it than yours."

"Liar," said Luigi.

"Don’t make me throw this," Wendy chimed in.

Mario and Luigi looked at Wendy, at the large meatball she was holding, and at each other.

"Throw a meatball?" Mario said in amazement.

"What a waste of good food!" Luigi agreed. "Give it here, Wendy." Luigi reached out for the meatball.

Wendy drew back her arm. "Don’t make me throw this," she repeated.

Mario and Luigi laughed. "Go ahead, throw it," taunted Luigi.

"So what?" laughed Mario. "If she throws it, I’ll just lick it off the grass!"

Mario and Luigi leaned on each other and laughed. Wendy shrugged and carelessly tossed the bomb at them.

Mario and Luigi stopped laughing. The explosion had knocked them to the ground. The whole world was white and foggy. A net settled over them; the fog cleared. Wendy stood proudly over her captives.

Mario and Luigi looked around. Toad, Yoshi, and the princess each lay in a net nearby. They had run blindly in the fog. Wendy had tracked them down and thrown a net over them. The captives squirmed to break free of the nets. Yoshi tried to eat his net from around him.

"This not rope," said Yoshi. "Yoshi trapped in spaghetti!" The four others tasted their net and discovered that this was true. However, the spaghetti had been hardened and burnt in the explosion, and the only one who could stomach it was Yoshi. However, Yoshi’s snout had been squashed down in a very bad position for eating the spaghetti, and he could not get his tongue out to grab the strands. So the five lay captured.

Wendy waved her hand and five bodyguards appeared. (The Koopas have that power too. This power is called making stuff magically appear.)

"Take them back to the doomship," Wendy ordered. While the bodyguards picked up the squirming bundles, Wendy strode haughtily back to her doomship and disappeared into the control room.

Soon the five captives were laid next to each other in a small room somewhere on the doomship. Wendy took off and flew quickly back to her castle.

When they arrived, Wendy told the bodyguards to lock the captives in the dungeon, each in their own cell, and to cut the net and take it away. Wendy went to see Bowser.

Wendy told Bowser what had happened. He followed her down to the dungeon to see. Bowser was very pleased. Wendy returned to her room.

Toad was angry. "I try to spend a nice day working on my tan and what happens? Wendy Koopa comes along and throws me in a dark, damp dungeon cell." Toad was embarrassed, too, because in the fog he had lost his hat.

Yoshi tried to eat the bars of his cell, but they were too strong even for him. The princess could do nothing, so the hero role was left to Mario and Luigi. They were mad at each other (they were still arguing over last night’s pizza) and refused to work together. So they all sat around and did nothing.

Several hours later, Toad boiled over. "That’s it!" he shouted. "I’m not sitting here any longer. If you guys want to spend the rest of your lives in Dungeon Hotel, that’s fine with me, but I’m getting out of here!" Without his hat, Toad did not feel like the good Mushroom citizen that he was.

Toad grabbed two bars of his cage and pushed as hard as he could. The bars did not move, but Toad did not give up and no one laughed. Toad looked around. There was a small window between each of the cells. The windows were barred, but the spaces between the bars were fairly wide.

Toad climbed onto the bench in the cell and jumped for the window, but it was too high. Toad tried again, but was still a little short. Toad looked around again. He noticed one stone in the wall that looked different from the others. He pulled on it, and the stone folded down into a seat. Toad climbed onto the bench, jumped to the seat, and stretched for the window.

He could not quite reach. Toad jumped and grabbed at the bars of the window. He scrambled with his feet for a hold in the wall and pulled himself up. Toad pushed his head and shoulders through the window. He drew his arms through and pushed against the bars. Suddenly he fell through into Yoshi’s cell.

The next step was easy. Yoshi lifted Toad up to the window and helped him through to the next cell. That cell was empty, and the door was unlocked. Toad quietly opened the door and stepped into the dirty hallway. One guard was patrolling, but he was facing the other way. The keys to the cells hung from his belt.

Toad slipped into the shadows as the guard turned around. Toad looked closely and saw that the keys were tied loosely to the guard’s belt. If he could just grab them and pull, they should come right off.

As the guard walked by, Toad cautiously put out his hand, grabbed the keys he wanted, and pulled. He got the keys, but not without a jingle. The guard turned around and Toad stood as close to the wall as he could. The guard continued down the long hallway.

Toad gave the keys to Yoshi. "Let yourself out, and anyone else who wants to. And Yoshi, don’t eat the keys." Toad left.

Of course Yoshi immediately let out himself and his friends. The princess hopped on Yoshi’s back, and the small group hurried away from the dungeon. (Okay, so maybe they’re not as stupid as I say they are on my page.)

Toad boldly went up the main stairs into the castle lobby. He did not stop there, either. He walked directly into the Koopa’s wing of the castle, where even some of the servants dared not go. He found Wendy’s room and went in.

"Hey, Wendy," Toad said loudly, upon finding Wendy in her living room. "I think your dungeon breaks Law 23, Section F of the Warfare Code of the Mushroom Kingdom. I suggest you look into this and do something about it before you get in big trouble." Being the Royal Mushroom Retainer, Toad knew about such things.

Wendy laughed. "And who exactly intends to punish me?"

Toad drew himself up to his full height of 3 feet 5 inches. "Me," he announced.

Wendy laughed. Then she remembered not to overlook the ridiculous. Her meatball had proven to be a powerful weapon. "Show me this law code," she requested.

Toad took a large booklet out of his small pocket (hey, don’t ask questions) and handed it to Wendy. "Page 41," he said.

Wendy turned to page 41. Sure enough, under Law 23, Section F, it said, "When dealing with prisoners of war, it is required that they be treated in a modest way, as described by the following.

"1. Prisoners of war must be given adequate food and water.

"2. Prisoners of war may not be beaten, tortured, or abused in any manner or fashion.

"3. Prisoners of war must be turned over to the kingdom of their most recent citizenship at the conclusion of the war.

"4. Prisoners of war must be kept in clean surroundings according to the following.

"a. The space must be a minimum of ten square paces, as measured and defined by the Official Mushroom Kingdom Department of Measurements.

"b. The space must be of reasonable cleanliness. There must be a designated place for releasing wastes which is to be cleaned daily. Excessive dust, dirt, and grime may not accumulate.

"Anyone found not abiding by these rules may be fined up to $5,000, as well as damages and may be sentenced to imprisonment in a place that meets the above stated standards."

Wendy then looked at the first pages of the book. She noticed a paragraph stating, "The rules and regulations of warfare stated in this book apply to the Mushroom Kingdom and all wars involving the Mushroom Kingdom. All citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom are expected to abide by these rules and will be subject to punishment by law if they fail to do so. Non-citizens such as citizens of other kingdoms, illegal aliens, and Koopas will face lesser or no punishment if they do not abide by these rules and regulations."

Wendy pointed to the book triumphantly. "Koopas exempt. You can’t do anything about my dungeon. Guess you and your friends will just have to grin and bear it until we dunk you in the lava pits."

"Guess you have another think coming," countered Toad. "Guess what? My friends are out, if they’re in their right minds. Guess they’re walking down the road to Princess Toadstool’s castle right now."

"You think you’re clever," Wendy said. "Guess we’ll see about that!" She shot a laser beam at Toad. (Another one of the Koopa’s magic powers. This power is called shooting laser beams.) He dodged.

"Dodge this!" yelled Wendy. She held out her hand and a tiny cell fell around Toad. (Another power, etc., etc.) It was really more like a pet carrier than a cage. This one Toad couldn’t get out of. Wendy picked up the cage and carried Toad to Bowser.

"Prepare the lava pits!" Bowser ordered. "At least we have this one."

Soon the lava pits were ready. Toad’s cage was hung by a rope over the center. He knew that in a moment the bottom of his cage would drop out and he would be left to burn. So he did what everyone else did. He held onto the bars on the top of his cage.

The bottom dropped out of the cage and Toad’s feet swayed above the hot pool of lava below. Now Toad had to do something that not everyone else did. He had to think of a way to save himself.

He had heard that somewhere in the lava pits there was a place where you could land and you would not fall into the lava or get burned by the flames. No one knew where it was. Some said that it moved around. Some said that it had only appeared once. Some said it was all nonsense.

Toad swung his feet. Soon he got the cage moving in a good arc. Finally, Toad jumped towards a place where the edge of the lava pit stuck out a little farther than everywhere else. Toad reached for the ledge but didn’t make it.

"AAAAAH!!" Toad yelled but there was no one there. Even Bowser and Wendy had left. Toad plummeted towards the lava. He knew there was no hope.

Suddenly Toad was on something solid, moving swiftly across the lava pit. He dared to look down.

"Flame Rider!" Toad was riding on the back of a big lava fish.

"I owe you one, Toad," answered the fish. Toad, being the kind of person who doesn’t want anyone to die, had rescued the fish from a pool of cold water (lava fish can only survive in hot places).

"How do we get out of here?" asked Toad.

"Well, my favorite exit is the Fire Tunnel, but I think it’ll be a bit warm for you. Let’s take the Ledge Tunnel," answered Flame Rider. The lava fish swam towards a large entrance cut under the ledge at one end of the pool. Toad looked up at his swinging cage and thanked his lucky stars.

Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, and Peach used the underground passage out of the dungeon. They came up in a field. When they closed the trapdoor to the passage, it was impossible to tell there was anything there. The four continued along their way and came to the road leading to the Princess’s castle. They followed it and reached the castle unharmed.

When they entered the castle, they met Wooster.

"No, no, no," he complained. "Look at you with all this grime. Go wash up while I spend my afternoon off cleaning up after you."

The foursome got cleaned up, but they worried about Toad.

"He’s probably gone and done something stupid," said Mario.

"You know how Toad is when he gets into that kind of a mood," said Luigi.

"I hope he’s okay," said Peach.

"Yoshi worried," said (guess who?) Yoshi.

"When he comes back, he’d better not track more dirt into the castle," said Wooster.

Flame Rider sped through the Ledge Tunnel. The air became cooler and the lava was not as red. When Flame Rider and Toad came out of the tunnel, they were in normal blue water.

"Kind of cold for me," said Flame Rider.

"It’s okay," said Toad. "You’ve done more than enough. I’ll get off here."

Flame Rider swam close to shore and Toad hopped off. The fish swam away. Toad wondered if he would ever see Flame Rider again.

Toad began the long walk home. Every time he met another Mushroomer, Toad was ashamed that he was not wearing his hat. Once Toad met a pair of turtles. They looked at him, laughed, and pushed him into a mud puddle. Then they walked away.

Toad was just starting to think that things couldn’t get any worse when he walked into a huge shadow. He looked up and saw Ludwig von Koopa towering above him.

"Thought you could get away with it, eh?" sneered Ludwig.

"Get away with what?" quavered Toad.

"Get away with what?!" yelled Ludwig. "You were in my private mud puddle!"

"I was?" asked Toad.

"You were!" shouted Ludwig. "I saw you with my own two Super One-Eye Vision-Helper Super-Duper 5 million thousand!"

I’m surprised he could see anything using his own invention, thought Toad. "I got pushed!"

"A likely story. Who pushed you, little Toady?"

"Some of your Troopas. It wasn’t my fault!"

"Well, too bad! I’m going to pound you anyway!" Ludwig roared and charged at Toad. Toad dodged but Ludwig came at him again. Toad jumped on Ludwig and slid down his back. Ludwig stopped momentarily but soon turned around and snatched at Toad. Toad stayed just out of reach, but not for long. Ludwig heaved himself at Toad and grabbed his arm.

Toad twisted and pulled, but Ludwig was too strong. Ludwig lifted Toad into the air, releasing armpit odor. Toad squirmed, but Ludwig only laughed. He dragged Toad into a nearby fortress.

"I’m going to torture you now," Ludwig mentioned casually. Toad wondered what Ludwig’s twisted mind had devised.

Ludwig dragged Toad to a heavy metal door. Ludwig opened the door and tossed Toad inside. Then he slammed the door with a laugh.

Toad was in a shiny metal chamber. The air was thin and the walls were so polished that Toad could hardly look at them.

Wooster is working for Ludwig? Toad thought.

Then he heard Ludwig’s voice. "Hey Toad! How do you like my Clean Chamber, the ultimate torture?"

Toad tried the door but it was locked. The room had no windows and no other door. Only a pool of incredibly clear, pure-looking water in one corner. Toad washed the mud off in the pool, turning the water brown.

Immediately alarm bells went off. The water in the pool flushed and new water came in, clean and clear. Toad managed to climb out before he got sucked down.

"That’s it!" Toad exclaimed. He got back in the pool and wiped the last bit of dirt off himself. The water began to flush. Toad took a deep breath and swam down towards the drain, following the water. The pipe was barely big enough. Toad had to work hard to move at all. He worried that he would not make it out before he ran out of air.

Just in time Toad reached the surface. He was in the river again. He climbed out and shook himself off. Toad looked around.

He saw Ludwig’s mud puddle, and something he had not noticed before. Directly over the mud puddle was a question block. Toad wondered if he should dare trying to get it.

Toad saw a passing Troopa. He crouched low, then jumped on the turtle. He tossed the shell at the block. A Frog Suit floated out. Toad stood on the edge of the mud and caught it.

Toad put on the Frog Suit and jumped back into the river. He swam easily now, and did not have to come up for air as often. Toad made good time back to the princess’s castle.

He ran into the castle and met Wooster.

"Look at this! You’re dripping all over my nice clean floor!" Wooster was very angry. "I try to keep this castle looking nice and what happens? The very owners of this castle come in and make a mess! I’m going to demand a raise. Just think what would happen if I went on strike. The castle would be overrun with dust and grime in a day. Go on, get out of here!"

Back at Seashell Castle, Wendy went down to the dungeon to laugh at her captives. They were gone. Wendy went upstairs to ask Bowser what he had done with them.

"Toad is fried, but I don’t know anything about the others. I thought you sent them to the torture chambers," said Bowser.

Wendy grumbled and went back to her room.

At the princess’s castle, everyone except Wooster was happy to see Toad. The princess decided to have a party. Toad stayed for a little while, but then he went outside. When the princess went to see what he was doing, she found him on the beach.

Toad was lying on the beach with his recovered hat, working on his tan.

Wendy went to visit Lemmy.

"Guess your plan didn’t work out so well," said Lemmy. "Your bombs are a great idea, though. They weren’t the problem."

"I bet it will be all over the papers tomorrow," Wendy mused.

"Want a ball-riding lesson now?"

"Sure. Keep the one we scheduled for Tuesday?"

"Yeah. Go get your ball."

"Toad, what are you doing? Everyone at the party wants to see you!" said Peach.

"If you want to let the Koopas run your life, fine. But I’m not letting Wendy O. Koopa get in the way of my tan," Toad replied.

"Well, I gotta go," Peach said. "Mario and Luigi are having a food fight over whose pizza had more pepperonis on it."

Wendy went to get her ball.

Peach went back inside.

Wendy took her ball and walked over to Lemmy’s apartment.

Peach stepped into the dining hall and got hit in the face with a banana.

Wendy knocked and waited patiently.

Peach wiped the banana off her face and waited angrily.

Lemmy answered the door.

Mario and Luigi noticed Peach.

"Hi!" said Lemmy.

"Oops!" said Mario and Luigi.

Okay, I just got a little hyper and put in a bunch of those little set switches. The story really ended a while ago.

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