The 'Uigi' War

By Jon

Chapter One: Hatching a Plan

Waluigi is sitting in his throne on a rainy day, pondering a plan.

Waluigi: Troops! Get in here!

A few radioactive Goombas come in. The are each about the size of Bowser.

Green Goomba: Yes, Sir Waluigi?

Waluigi I have an idea, Blake... follow me.

Blake and the two other un-named Goombas follow Waluigi to the "planning room".

Blake: So what's the plan?

Waluigi: Ok, let me begin by saying this. How is Luigi so protected?

Goomba: High security?

Waluigi: Correct, Robert. Now, if we found a way to break the security, we could go in and declare war. If we make enough Goombas, we can outnumber them, and finally reach our ultamite goal... kill Luigi.

Blake: How will we do that?

Waluigi: I'm not sure...

Robert: I think I have an idea.

Waluigi: What?

Robert: We can set a false alarm. If we break the code of the system, we can set off the alarm. The security should come out of the front doors, and at that point we begin attacking.

Waluigi: But how do we break through the code?

Robert: That I don't know.

Tjird Goomba: I think I know...

Blake: What, Jeff?

Jeff: The way the security works is through wires. The way we can adjust it is find the wires, most likely underground, and follow them to where the are plugged in. Once we find that, we can adjust the wires to set off the alarm. Meanwhile, you, sir, and the army will be hiding out front.

Waluigi: Brilliant! Now, where are we going to find the wires?

Blake: Well, we always have the X-ray flashlight. If we secretly set it up to the wall, we can detect where the wires are and carefully cut off the wall so no one will hear.

Waluigi: Where would I be without you? Mwuhahaha!

Back at the Mushroom Castle...

Peach: Mario... Mario, I have this strange feeling...

Mario: What is it, Peach? Did you eat left-over pasta? I warned you to never do that.

Peach: No... I feel... danger...

Mario: Oh, don't worry, Bowser and those little brats are on vacation.

Peach: No... it's not Bowser... it seems like it's going after... after...

Mario: You?

Peach: No, Luigi.

Mario: Pish-pash! Who would want to hurt Luigi?

Luigi walks back from his jog.

Luigi: I'm back, guys. What'd I miss?

Peach: Luigi, I sense someone is coming after you.

Luigi: What? The only person that would do that is Waluigi, and I haven't heard from him in AGES!

Mario: We just beat him at tennis a week ago.

Luigi: Errr... aside from that.

Peach: Well, I sense him coming. Let's forget about it... say, how about we have a picnic? Just you, Mario, Toad, and I. Whaddya guys say?

Mario: Sure.

Luigi: Why not?

Peach: Great! I'll go get Toad.

At Waluigi's castle...

Waluigi, Jeff, Robert, and Blake are looking at a map of the Mushroom Castle and the area around it.

Waluigi: Ok, so here's what we do. The army of Glumba-Goombas and I will all be hiding behind several trees, bushes, branches, piles of leaves, pipes, etc. I've planned out where exactly. I will be in the middle. Now, you three are going to have to do the dirty work. Blake and Robert, you guys do the cutting while Jeff controls the flashlight. There's a perfect tree on that hill right there, next to the end of the moat. Once you find it, Jeff will lead down the hole as you two dig, until you find the source of the wires. At that point, we will hear the alarm and immediatly attack, as they will all be outside. After outnumbering them, we hi-jack the castle. The only thing is, we're going to have to be careful about the brothers.

Blake: Got it!

Robert: Alright.

Jeff: Sure. When do we go?

Waluigi: Now.

Mushroom Castle...

Peach: So we're all set?

Toad: Yup. Let's go!

Mario: This will be fun!

Luigi: Man, I'm hungry... let's go to the Mushroom Way already.

Peach: Ok, we're going.

Booster's Pass...

Waluigi: Hurry up! You two will never learn this shortcut!

Blake: S-so sorry, master.

Waluigi: Ahhh, it's ok. Now, everyone remember the plan?

Robert: Yes.

Waluigi: Now run, troops! And don't get caught! I will do a count to make sure everyone has arrived. Meanwhile, I will stay back with Blake, Jeff, and Robert.

Glumba-Goombas: Right!

Waluigi: Alright, begin marching.

Mushroom Way...

Luigi: I hear a noise.

Mario (with potato chips in his mouth): Pohaho... ships may noise!

Luigi: No... it sounds more like... marching...

Peach: Hmmmm?

Toad: I hear it too. Should we go see what it is?

Mario: We don't even know where it's coming from.

Luigi: Well, it's gone now. Maybe it was a plane landing nearby or something.

Peach: I dunno... something's up. I had this weird feeling, and now you're hearing marching. Maybe we should go back...

Mario: Ohhh, c'mon!

Peach: Well... Ok, fine. Pass me the mustard, Luigi.

Mushroom Castle...

Waluigi is standing behind a tree with three Glumba-Goombas, with a walky-talky in his hand. Blake, Robert, and Jeff are on the right side, waiting for Waluigi's signal.

Waluigi (Into the walki-talki): Ok... everyone is lined up.

Right side..

Jeff (Into the walky-talky): Roger!

Blake: So, we're ready to dig?

Jeff: Yes. Now, Jeff, where's the map?

Robert: Right here.

Jeff: Beautiful... Ok, according to my calculations, the fault line of the wall structure is right here. Begin digging, guys.

Robert: Wait.

Jeff: What?

Robert: Where's the flashlight?

Jeff: Uhhh...

Blake: Right here.

Blake hands Jeff the flashlight.

Jeff: OK, let's go!

Blake and Robert take out their shovels and begin digging.

Back with Waluigi...

Waluigi: Only a matter of time now...

Read on!

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