Oh the Thinks Ludwig Thinks

By Golden Road

Ludwig: Eureka! I have really outdone myself this time. Tell King Dad it's time to give me a promotion.

Lemmy: But the last time I told-

Ludwig: Do it anyway, because my latest, greatest invention is pure genius.

Lemmy: I hope it's something to remove the half-Yoshi part of Karma.

Ludwig: No, Lemmy, THIS is something that will allow us to defeat the Marios.

Lemmy: Well, what is it?

Ludwig: I call it The Think.

Lemmy: The Think? That's a stupid name for an invention!

Ludwig: It was Karma's idea... anyway, this is my greatest invention yet!

Lemmy: Well? What does it do?

Ludwig: How about I show you? First, I think of something, then I point this remote at something, then I press the button.

Ludwig points the remote at a flower pot, presses the button on the remote, and it turns into a Crazy Daizee.

Ludwig: It works!

Lemmy: Let me guess... it turns whatever you point that thing at into whatever you're thinking of?

Ludwig: But of course.

Lemmy: So all we have to do is point the remote at the Marios and think of something like mushrooms?

Ludwig: Mushrooms, Hershey bars, whatever fits your fancy. Which... hmm...

Lemmy: Ludwig, don't even THINK about it. I may be a lot of things, but I ain't no Hershey bar.

Ludwig: You don't like Roy, do you?

Lemmy: No, but... ooh, I see what you're thinking.

Ludwig and Lemmy go to the gym where they find Roy beating a punching bag.

Ludwig: Tell you what- you're the one who hates Roy, so why don't you do the honors?

Lemmy: You betcha!

Lemmy points the remote at Roy, presses the button, and he turns into a red balloon.

Roy, the Balloon: Wha?! WHAT THE--?! LEMMY! I swear, I'm gonna' KILL you!

Roy the balloon tries to lunge toward Lemmy, but being a balloon, all he can do is float towards the ceiling.

Roy, the Balloon: What have you DONE to me?! I swear I'm gonna... I mean, please get me down and I promise not to hurt you, good brother of mine.

Lemmy: Don't think so, Roy.

Roy, the Balloon: I'm gonna' KILL you!

Lemmy: Let's see... Ludwig, where do I keep my slingshot?

Roy, the Balloon: Ok, ok, I'll be good! I'll do whatever you say!

Ludwig: Well I'm glad to see my invention worked correctly.

Lemmy: Next stop, the Mari-

Ludwig: No, not yet. First, I think we'd both like to make a stop at a certain annoying pest's palace.

Lemmy and Ludwig go to Susan's palace, and there they knock on the door.

Lemmy: What if she doesn't open the door?

Ludwig: Are you kidding? You know how desperate she will be to play with us? She'll open it all right.

Susan: (through the door) Who is it?

Lemmy: It's your favorite cousin, Lemmy! I came over to play.

Susan squeals with delight and opens the door. As soon as she does, Ludwig points the remote at her, presses the button, and she turns into a Hershey bar.

Ludwig: I'll save this one for later.

Lemmy: Maybe you should keep it here until you want it. After all, I don't think you want to carry around a screaming candy bar when we go to defeat the Marios.

Ludwig: Quite right.

Susan, the Hershey Bar: EEK! Why am I so small? And why do I feel like I'm being melted? Help me please! Please?

Lemmy and Ludwig head for Peach's castle, where they barge in.

Ludwig: Hand over the throne, or else!

Several guards come to attack the Koopalings, but Ludwig points the remote at them and turns them into beachballs.

Lemmy: Cool! I like beachballs.

Ludwig: Now to the throne room.

Lemmy and Ludwig travel to the throne room and confront Princess Peach, Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Yoshi.

Ludwig: Hand over the throne, Peachy, or else!

Luigi: We've defeated you hundreds of times before. Why don't you just give up already?

Ludwig points the remote at Luigi and turns him into a Happy Meal.

Peach: EEP! WHA- WHA-

Ludwig: Now are you ready to hand over the throne?

Peach: Um...

Ludwig turns Mario, Toad, and Yoshi into anvils.

Peach: EEP! What are you DOING?!

Luigi, the Happy Meal: Why can't I move? Why can't I attack them?

Peach: Uh... Luigi?

Luigi, the Happy Meal: Why can't I move, Peach?

Peach: Why are you a Happy Meal?

Luigi, the Happy Meal: No, I'm not a-

Peach puts a mirror in front of Luigi.

Luigi, the Happy Meal: YAAAH! I'm a Happy Meal!

Ludwig: Now, you shall give us the kingdom.

Peach rushes outside, alongside Ludwig and Lemmy, and addresses the Mushroom Kingdom.

Peach: Dear citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom, it is time for me to give the duties of ruling the kingdom to someone else who is worthy of ruling over. I wish thee many great years under the rule of... *sigh* King Ludwig von Koopa.

The Mushroom citizens listening to Peach gasp.

Ludwig: Dead citizens, oh how great it is to rule over you. Lemmy, go force them to work for me.

Lemmy: What work shall they do?

Ludwig: Force them to work in a chocolate factory.

Lemmy: Yes sir, right away!

Lemmy goes down to the Mushroom people and, with the threat of his laser, forces all the Mushroom people to build a chocolate factory and for all of them to work inside it. Meanwhile at Koopa Castle, Bowser is watching TV.

TV Reporter: We interrupt this Pay-Per-View movie for this important announcement.

Bowser: Interrupting a Pay-Per-View movie? This MUST be big!

TV Reporter: It appears that Ludwig von Koopa, eldest child of Bowser Koopa, has taken over the Mushroom Kingdom.

Bowser: WHAT?!

TV Reporter: Ludwig is now allowing us to do a short interview.

Bowser: He is DEAD! I'M supposed to rule, not him!

Bowser races for his doomship, when he bumps into Balloon Roy.

Bowser: Stupid balloon.

Roy, the Balloon: King Dad, help me!

Bowser: Stupid balloon sounds like Roy... ROY?!

Roy, the Balloon: Yeah, Lemmy and Ludwig turned me into this balloon somehow.

Bowser: Turning my child into a balloon... I'LL KILL THEM!

Bowser gets into his doomship and zooms to Peach's castle. But when he

Bowser: (on loudspeaker from doomship) Ludwig! Get out of there and hand over the kingdom to me NOW!

Ludwig: I don't think so BOWSER!

Bowser: WHAT?! You NEVER call me-

Ludwig turns the doomship into a bicycle.

Bowser: Bowaaaaauuuuuggggghhhhh!

Bowser pedals the bike as fast as he can, like he thinks it'd fly if he pedals fast enough. Of course, it doesn't fly, and he crashes into the ground quite hard.

Bowser: You'll PAY for this insult! Why you-

Ludwig turns Bowser into a feather.

Bowser, the Feather: (in high-pitched squeaky voice) Insolent little- why am I so small, and why is my voice so... LUDWIG! What did you DO to me?!

Ludwig: Don't worry Bowser, I'll take good care of you.

We see Ludwig in the castle with Bowser the feather in a cage.

Bowser, the Feather: You'll PAY for this, as soon as I become big again!

Ludwig: Yeah, that's likely.

Lemmy walks in with several Mushroomers carrying armfuls of chocolate.

Lemmy: Here's your chocolate, Ludwig.

Ludwig: Yee! I'm so happy with all my chocolate and power... is there a better combination?

Lemmy: Well, *yawn* it's getting late Ludwig. I think we should get a good night's rest.

Ludwig: You do that, Lemmy. I need to stay up to make sure no one takes my remote. Without it, I'd be in some trouble.

Suddenly, without warning, Plum barges in, wearing a cape and mask.

Plum: Stop, you evildoer!

Ludwig: Ugh. Take this.

Ludwig turns Plum into a purple balloon.

Plum, the Balloon: EEP! What have you done to-

Lemmy uses his slingshot and pops the balloon.

Lemmy: That takes care of that annoying little #*(&@. Those Mushroom people oughta be thanking us for that.

Ludwig: Well, what do you expect? They're not particularly nice.

Lemmy: Well, goodnight Ludwig.

Lemmy falls asleep as Ludwig stays up to avoid anyone sneaking up on him. But the next morning, we see Ludwig has fallen asleep.

Luigi: All right, Ludwig. Put 'em up!

Ludwig: Huh... wait! You're not a Happy Meal anymore!

Luigi: I know... seems to have worn off or something.

Ludwig: You mean to tell me my invention WASN'T perfect?

Bowser, the Feather: Turn him into slime!

Luigi: Uh, I don't know how it works.

Bowser, the Feather: Think of slime, point the remote at him, and press the button.

Luigi: Ok.

Luigi turns Ludwig into slime.


Bowser, the Feather: Well, ha! You are! And soon I'll be big again, and then boy, will you and Lemmy be in trouble!

Lemmy wakes up.

Lemmy: ME?! Why me?

Bowser: You helped Ludwig, you get in trouble too.

Lemmy: #$#%@&^*@$

Luigi, along with the help of Mario, Toad, and Yoshi, get rid of Ludwig and Lemmy, and return Feather Bowser to Koopa Castle before he changes back. Once Bowser turns big again, he puts Lemmy and Ludwig in the dungeon, after he lets Roy beat up Lemmy first. And Susan...

Susan: Boy, was that a nightmare. Strangest dream that I was turned into a chocolate bar... but that couldn't really- EEEP!

Susan had looked into a mirror, and saw that she had a bite taken out of her shell.

The End

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