Morton is Sick

By Hip

Artwork by Fried Rooster

One morning at around 5:00 AM, Morton wakes up coughing and sneezing. He crawls into the bathroom and searchs the medicine cabinet. He finds a bottle, opens it, and pours a pill into his hand. He puts the bottle back in the cabinet and pours himself a glass of water. He swallows the pill down with the water and gpes back to his room. He lies down on his bed and stares at the ceiling, and every few seconds he turns his head to the digital alarm clock on his night table, the only source of light in the room. Five minutes later he feels fine and runs out of his room, turns on the lights in the hall, and starts to run up and down the hall.

Morton: Cock-a-doodle-doo! Rise and shine! Wakey wakey! Up and attem! Rub your eyes, get out of bed!

The other Koopalings and Bowser slowly walk out of their rooms. They each enter the bright hallway and try opening their eyes to adjust to the light.

Bowser: Morton! How many times do I have to tell you? Stop with these wake up calls or youíll spend your weekends in the dungeon!

Wendy: Today is Friday, a workday. I need nine hours of beauty sleep and I only got like seven! No fair!

Ludwig: Are you all thinking what Iím thinking?

They all dash to the bathroom. Of course, Iggy gets there first and hurriedly locks the door.

It is now breakfast and they are all sitting at the table and munching on pancakes.

Morton: I really donít want any today.

Bowser: What do you mean?

Morton: I woke up and felt sick so I took a pill and felt a little better. Now I feel lousy!

Bowser: Let me feel your head. YEOWCH! Thatís hot! Nurse!

A Hammer Brother wearing stereotypical nurse clothing and carrying a suitcase instead of a hammer walks in and examines Morton.

Nurse: Say AAAHHH!

Larry: That shouldnít be hard for Morton!

Morton: AAHHH!

The nurse sticks a tongue depressor in his mouth and removes it. He then sticks a thermometer inside.

Nurse: Donít talk.

Bowser: Donít count on it.

But Morton just sits there looking glum. The nurse removes the thermometer and says he has a fever of 102.5

Bowser: Well, I guess you canít go with your siblings to Koopa Institute, youíll have to stay home!

Roy: No fair! First he wakes us up early! Now he gets to stay home! Iím gonna pound him!

Bowser: Not today, heís sick!

Roy: Iíll get you later.

Bowser: I want the rest of you six to get going! NOW!

Morton: You heard the man! Get going! Go pronto! Go all the way to China, then to Toronto - cough cough!

Nurse: I donít think yellingís a good idea.

The other Koopalings walk away giggling and enter a warp pipe in another room. Morton goes back to his room and crawls into his bed.

Morton puts on his pajamas with little symbols which look like Bowser skulls and lies down. He picks up the remote from his night table and before he can turn on the TV, Bowser and the nurse come in. He tries to get
Morton to take some Flu syrup.

Morton: I donít see why I need this! I had a pill earlier!

Nurse: Was that pill a Pain-A-Way?

Morton: Yes!

Nurse: Thatís a placebo!

Morton: Whatís a pppplllllllacebo?

Nurse: Just take this!

He shoves the spoon into Mortonís mouth and he gulps it down.

Morton: That was desssspicable!

Bowser: Turn down the volume, Morton, youíve gotta shut up for today!

They leave his room.

Morton: Now I can watch good old television!

He starts flipping channels and goes past shows like Barney, Dragon Tales, Winnie the Pooh, and Postman Pat.

Morton: I forgot! All the good stuff is on Saturday!

He then stops at a judge show.

Announcer: We now return to ďAffair As Fair Can BeĒ! The show where couples always sue each other!

Wife: He slept with my sister! I want him out of my apartment, your honor!

Husband: Well you spent all my money on a new car you (bleep)!

Morton: Nothingís on! I think Iíll go downstairs.

Morton takes off his ayjamas and runs all the way downstairs. Unnoticed, he runs to the big screen TV in the living room, the one with all Nintendo  consoles hooked up to it and a HUGE library of games. Thereís even a Game Cube. Morton starts to play Super Smash Brothers Melee. He enters training mode as Bowser and makes the opponent Mario.

(Note from Lemmy: This story was posted before the Game Cube came out... so the Koopas somehow had it before then.)

Morton: Take that! You pasta sucking plumber! Feel the wrath of Koopas  everywhere!


Morton: Uh oh, Iím not supposed to be down here!

Morton hurriedly turns everything off and runs upstairs, but he bumps into Bowser at the top, causing him to fall down to the bottom.

Bowser: I thought you were in bed! But it doesnít matter now! Iím gonna kidnap Peach, and since youíre here, do you wanna come?

Morton: Well, I thought I was supposed to be in bed!

Bowser: Donít lie to me, son. I know you were playing Smash Brothers, and besides, itís not like you have a choice!

Later, the doomship appears over the Mushroom Kingdom and a bunch of Partroopas fly into Peachís castle and come back carrying her. The doomship turns around and heads to Dark Land. Back at the castle, Peach is thrown into a dungeon with a state of the art  security system and metal walls. Outside the dungeonís only exit is a  hallway filled with about 200 enemies.

Bowser: Letís see those bummer plumbers get through this!

To Be Continued...

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