A Cheesy Situation

By Axem Leader

Little Lemmy's Land Qualifier

Ludwig was franticly trying to make a new invention to destroy Mario, because Bowser threatened him to do so or he would have Ludwig watch Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. Bowser knew it was going to blow up or create nuclear pigs or something, but he was desperate.

Bowser: Are you almost done?!

Ludwig: Um… 99.9 percent.

Ludwig typed some things on the keyboard. He then took out a microphone and held it to his mouth.

Ludwig: Computer, Bowser’s every third word will be replaced with the word “coffee”.

Bowser: What are coffee doing? Hey, coffee did I coffee coffee?

Ludwig held the microphone to his mouth again.

Ludwig: Effect off.

Ludwig put the microphone down.

Bowser: What the heck did you do?

Ludwig: I used my machine to alter your speaking.

Bowser: Now how will that destroy Mario?

Ludwig: It won’t. I’m going to make Mario say something insulting so when he talks to people, he will only say
the certain word I tell him to. Then when he gets enough people mad, they will probably kick him out of the Mushroom Kingdom, and we will be able to take over easily.

Bowser: ...

Ludwig: Well? What do you propose?

Bowser: That is the stupidest plan ever! But since I’m desperate, go ahead and try it.

Ludwig: Yes sir…


Ludwig was about 10 yards away from Mario’s house, when…

Toad: ATTACK!!!

Toad, Luigi, DK, Wario, Waluigi, Peach, Mario, Daisy, Froad (Toad’s cousin), Subcon, Yoshi, Bow, Kooper,
Goombario, Watt, Sushi, Lakilester, The King, Smash, *inhale* Golden Road, Mewd, Yoshiki, Richard, Axem
Leader, Lil Cheep Cheep, Dinogirl, TMS, Foshi, Vicious grrl, and Bill Clinton jumped out of a bush and attacked Ludwig.

Ludwig: !!!

Ludwig got pummelled for about 15 minutes…

Peach: Eh. I’m tired, I’m going to the castle.

Toad, Luigi, DK, Wario, Waluigi, Mario, Daisy, Froad, Subcon, Yoshi, Bow, Kooper, Goombario, Watt, Sushi,
Lakilester, The King, Smash, Golden Road, Mewd, Yoshiki, Richard, Axem Leader, Lil Cheep Cheep,
Dinogirl, TMS, Foshi, Vicious grrl, and Bill Clinton: Can we come?

Peach: Um, no.

Everyone left except for Mario and Ludwig.

Ludwig: Ouch. I think my shoulder is dislocated…

Mario: It’s-a me, Mario!

Ludwig: Go away.

Mario: It’s-a me, Mario!

Ludwig got up and picked up the microphone connected to the laptop.

Ludwig: Computer, Mario’s every third word will be replaced with the word-

Mario: Cheese!

Ludwig: No!

Ludwig started typing some words on the keyboard but the machine exploded. Ludwig was sent flying into the horizon.

Ludwig: I’ll get you next time Mari- *thump* Oh!

Mario: Hmm… I’m cheese. I’m gonna cheese over to cheese castle.

Mario started walking in a random direction and ended up at Peach’s castle.

Toad: I’m %$^# hungry, make me some %$^# food.

Peach: Shut your pie hole. I already have my hands full with Yoshi here!

Yoshi: Yoshi hungry, me eat peach.

Peach: Nooooo! Dooooon’t!

Yoshi gulped down a peach from the fruit bowl.

Peach: Phew!

Luigi: Make me some pasta, will ya?

Daisy: I want some ice cream!

Peach: Yarg. What do I look like? The maid?

Mario kicked down the door for no reason.

Mario: It’s-a me, cheese!

Toad: What?

Mario: Hello there, cheese!

Luigi: What did you call me?

Mario: Hi Princess cheese!

Daisy: Ha ha! He called you Princess cheese!

Peach: Actually, he was talking to you.

Yoshi: You know that you is talking with word cheese all time, Mario?

Mario: What the cheese?! How the cheese did this cheese to me?


Toad powers up to a SSJ2, then powers up to SSJ3.

Mario: Uh oh… CHEESE!!!

Mario jumped out the window.

Mario: Hmm… I’m cheese go to cheese just to cheese everyone.

Mario walked over to a tree and lay down. He drifted off to sleep.

In Mario’s dream…

Mario: Ah, I’m cheese Subcon… Finally!

Mario walks around killing helpless Shy Guys and Birdos.

Birdo: This is as far as you go!

Mario sits on her and she is defeated.

Birdo: I’ll remember this!

Mario throws a few Ninjis into some lava and runs into Mouser.

Mouser: Here! Have some bombs!

Mario eats Mouser’s bombs. Mario’s stomach starts gurgling and he passes “The Big One” and Mouser

Mouser: No! WAHHH!!!

Mario walks for a while and falls into some quicksand. He ends up with Fry Guy.

Fry Guy: I’m too hot to touch!

Mario eats Fry Guy and goes on. He finds himself fighting Birdo again.

Birdo: I’m gonna finish you off!

Birdo fires a bunch of eggs and Mario stores them in his mouth like a hamster. He fires them back at Birdo
and defeats her again.

Birdo: How could you?!

Mario steps over Birdo’s lifeless corpse and rolls his way to Ro-Birdo.

Ro-Birdo: You came a long way!

Mario takes out a stick and pokes Ro-Birdo to death.

Ro-Birdo: How could you?!

Mario falls in a hole and lands on Triclyde, killing him.

Triclyde: Impossible!

Mario jumps down and is defeated by a Tweeter. Mario faints and wakes up by Clawgrip.

Clawgrip: Arr. You’ll make a tasty tr-

Mario throws his shoe and defeats him. Mario finds Mouser again but just slaps him and leaves. Mario makes it to Birdo once again.

Mario: Why you cheese following me cheese?

Birdo: I’m ready for you this time…

Mario sighs and pushes Birdo into a pit.


Mario walks into Wart’s castle and makes a hole in the wall. He finds Wart.

Wart: I am the great Wart, ah ha ha!

Wart opens his mouth to shoot weird spitballs at Mario, and Mario throws himself inside his mouth. Mario starts playing with Wart’s insides and Wart explodes. Mario breaks down a pillar with his head, revealing a pot with a cork. Mario is about to open the pot but thinks how bored he is so decides to wake up.

Back in reality…

Mario: Yawn! That cheese. Time to cheese to Bowser’s cheese.


Mario: Open up cheese!

Goomba: What’s the password?

Mario: Um… It’s cheese?

Goomba: Come right in.

Mario walked into Bowser’s Castle and went into the kitchen.

Mario: Wow, I’m cheese! Better get cheese cheese!

Clawdia: Um… get out.

Mario: But I’m cheese!

Clawdia: No you’re not, you’re Mario.

Mario: But I cheese some cheese!

Clawdia threw a spoon at Mario and Mario ran away like a scared puppy.

Mario: Pant, pant, cheese, pant, pant, cheese, pant…

Mario walked into Larry’s room.

Larry: Yikes! Mario!

Mario: Gimme the cheese!

Larry: I have no cheese!

Mario: No, give cheese the key!

Larry: Who is cheese?

Mario: Yarg! The cheese, the key!

Larry: I only have the key to Morton’s room, here!

Larry tossed the key at Mario and jumped under his bed.

Larry: Go away!

Mario: Thank you cheese much! Wait… What cheese I doing cheese?

Mario walked into the hall and into Morton’s room.

Morton: Mario! You’re just in time to listen to my speech about speeches!

Mario: I have cheese time, give me cheese key!

Morton: What’s a cheese key?

Mario: The key cheese Ludwig’s room!

Morton: Oh… I only have the key to Wendy’s room. Here, take, accept, receive!

Mario: Thanks for cheese key!

Mario walked into the hall, then into Wendy’s room.

Mario: I want cheese now!

Wendy: Get out before I kill you for interrupting my beauty sleep!

Mario: You are cheese as a cheese!

Wendy: Ahh! Ok, there!

Wendy pointed to a jar on the shelf. Mario grabbed it and headed into the hall. Mario threw the jar at Iggy’s door and it opened.

Mario: Roy’s key, cheese!

Iggy: Oh yeah? I’m gonna kick your butt!

Iggy ran into Mario but knocked himself out. Mario grabbed the key from his hair and ran out into the hall, then into Roy’s room.

Roy: Oh you’re gonna get a pounding for this one…

Mario: Over my cheese body!

Roy: Agh! I didn’t know it was like that, here!

Roy handed Mario the key to Lemmy’s room and jumped out the window. Mario opened the door to Lemmy’s room and found him working on the computer.

Lemmy: Huh?

Mario: Key!

Lemmy: I will give it to you if you can beat me at a race with this special ball, whoever can-

Mario grabbed Lemmy’s computer and chucked it out the window. He took the key and ran into Ludwig’s room. He forgot to use the key but he crashed through the door.

Mario: Make my cheese normal!

Ludwig: Never!

Ludwig threw a wrench at Mario and Mario got conked on the head and fell down.

Ludwig: Now you shall die!

Froad crashed in through the window.

Froad: Froad ‘ll save the day!

Froad started poking Ludwig with his own finger and Ludwig laughed so much that he imploded from losing so much air.

Froad: Froad saves the day again!

Froad turned into a cow and exploded.

Mario: Hmm… Better cheese this now!

Mario built an exact replica of Ludwig’s machine and used it to make his voice turn back to normal. It then

Mario: Well that was fun. Better go home now.

Mario walked home, not caring that his leg was on fire.

The End

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