Mushroom Kingdom Melee

By Crazy Packers Fan

The Mushroom Kingdom is split. Of course thereís the Peach-Bowser split, but thereís more to come...

At Bowserís Castle...

Ludwig: Thatís it for Susan! I canít take her wrecking my inventions anymore!

Lemmy: Susan stole my ball!

Roy: Iíll beat that Susan...

Iggy: Susan has my glasses!

Wendy: Has someone seen that brat Susan? My jewelry is gone!

Morton: Mmmmph! Mmmph!

Larry: Mortonís mouth was duct taped by Susan, but thatís actually a relatively good thing.

Bowser: Thatís it! Iíve had it with the complaining from my children! Iím banning Susan from Castle Koopa!

Susan: If you do that, youíll regret it!

Bowser: How?

Susan: I like it here, and Iíll get my father involved and heíll get you out of this castle and into the lava!

Bowser: Wart? That big ogre?! I could pulverize him! He wouldnít do a thing to me!

Susan: Is that so? Then I guess Iíll tell him that you arenít afraid of battle.

Bowser: Iím not afraid of anyone but Mario!

Lemmy: Why Mario?

Bowser: Heís scary-looking! Now go, Susan, and donít come back!

Susan runs to a warp pipe crying. The warp pipe leaves her off at Sub-con, her intended destination.

Susan: Wart! Daddy! Father!

Wart: I am the great Wart! Ha ha ha!

Susan: Look, I got kicked out of Castle Koopa by Bowser and his kids! Iím supposed to be some brat!

Wart: They canít say that and get away with it! Besides, I need you getting all that information off the Koopa Kids everyday so I will know if Bowser intends to give me some of his treasure of coins. Plus, with you bringing home a hundred a day...

Susan: My feelings are hurt and thatís what matters to me!

Wart: Iíll prepare my pals...

At Peachís Castle...

Peach: Mario, you know Bowserís going to attack any time now. Why canít you just go kill off those spy Troopas outside and run back in so I feel safer?

Mario: Iím hungry, and I only work for food!

Peach: Iíll bake you... a cake!

Mario: All righty!

Mario steps out of the castle into Luigi.

Luigi: Watch-a where youíre going, brother-o!

Mario: Watch-a it yourself!

Luigi: Iíve-a had it with you and-a Peach, and so has-a Daisy!

Mario: No matter if you are my brother or not, I can and will fight you if necessary!

Luigi: Iíll take you down immediately!

Luigi and Mario wrestle into the moat.

Larry: Now, Troopas, charge!

Larry rushes into the castle only to find tons of Mushroom Guards.

Mushroom Guard: Ready to lose your tonsils?

Larry: What are you doing here ready for me?

Mushroom Guard: Peach saw spy Troopas, so she called us out to attack if Mario couldnít take you!

Larry: I never saw Mario!

Mushroom Guard: Then you will be the one that gets killed!

Larry: Now, Troopas, retreat!

Mushroom Guard: Kill him!

Larry returns to the castle unharmed.

The next day, at Castle Koopa...

Bowser: So, both Peach and Wart are planning attacks on the Koopas? Letís take a look outside to see if
Larry is lying.

Bowser opens the door to find a myriad of Bob-ombs staring him in the face.

Bowser: You werenít lying, Larry. RUN!!!

Ludwig: No time to panic now! Weíve just got to evacuate this castle before they decide to blow us to-

Roy: We know! Letís just get out of here and think later! Whoops!

Roy slips on a banana peel.

Roy: If this was a Lemmy joke, it isnít funny right now!

With the Koopas rushing out of the castle, Wart steps in.

Wart: What was that all about?

Susan: We came back here to talk to Bowser nicely, and they all ran away from their own army of Bob-ombs!

Wart: Where is that Bowser anyway?

Wart lights a match.

Wart: Certainly heís got to be here somewhere. Hand me that candle so I can see in the dark!

Wart lights the candle.

Wart: No Bowser here, but maybe in there... nope. Heís gone!

Susan: Letís just go home and come back tomorrow.

Wart: You said it. I donít need this candle anymore.

As he walks out the door past the Bob-ombs, Wart tosses the candle.

In Sarasaland...

Daisy: Iím going to have to do something nasty to Peach, because I want that Mushroom Kingdom for
myself! Hey, Luigi!

Luigi: What now?

Daisy: Find as many of those secret weapons in Dark Land as you can and bribe the Rocky Wrenches to bring them here so I can use them on Peach.

Luigi: Sure thing.

As Luigi leaves for Dark Land, the Koopas leave Dark Land.

Bowser: There are no guards back at the castle! In fact, no oneís back there, so if someone came into our
castle, it would be completely deserted! Thatís just horrible! But we must use those doomships you seven have for any chance at surviving to get back to Castle Koopa to retake our castle.

Larry: But, but...

Bowser: But what?

Larry: Weíll have to walk on foot to the nearest land, because our doomships are there!

Bowser: I know that! Weíre in Pipe Land now!

Ludwig: Didnít you notice that when we had to take this raft past the sign made out of pipes?

Larry: Well, not really!

Ludwig: Weíll get my doomship first!

Roy: We can then launch Bob-ombís from up on the doomship and then get the other doomships! This could
turn into a whole new game!

Lemmy: I have a feeling itís not gonna work...

Luigi enters Dark Land near Castle Koopa, but can only see a large explosion and tons of fire. The castle
itself is unaffected, but the Bob-ombs had all exploded from Wartís candle.

Luigi: Did Peach already start to attack Bowser? I canít believe that it is her doing this! And I hope Mario isnít sore about losing that fight... Where am I supposed to find tanks? ... Wow!

Luigi finds tons of military warfare, and bribes the Rocky Wrenches.

Rocky: Hey, big guy, sure, man, cool.

Luigi: (This is working out great!)

The tanks travel towards Peachís Castle...

On to Sub-con...

Wart: All right, Albatoss, you drop Bob-ombs, Mouser, throw some bombs, Tryclyde and Fry Guy, you give fire, and Clawgrip, you throw rocks.

Albatoss: What are you going to do?

Wart: Iím going to watch you guys.

Albatoss: Right! Right! Right!

Wart: NOW GO!!!

Susan: Who are we attacking?

Wart: Uh...

Susan: Here we go again! Weíre just going to cause more trouble by just destroying! Violence solves nothing! sigh* (If only I could have talked this out with Uncle Bowser in the first place, this huge war never would have started!)

Wart: You may think violence is useless, but if we beat our enemies, we will have nothing to fear!

Susan: It doesnít always work that way...

On Ludwigís doomship...

Roy: What is going on down there?

Lemmy: Thereís a huge fire near Castle Koopa-

Iggy: But Castle Koopa isnít burning at all!

Wendy: Thereís tons of explosions going on everywhere!

Bowser: There goes my tank artillery, or infantry, or something!

Morton: Everythingís burning, exploding, blowing up...

Ludwig: Wouldnít it make sense for us to talk out the fight with Susan before we have a real mess on our hands?

Bowser: Nonsense! Weíll start dropping bombs and cannonballs and soon everyone will surrender!

Ludwig: I donít think that will work...

At Peachís Castle...

Peach: EEEEEEEK!!! Thereís tanks about to blast our castle, Mario! Do something!

Mario: Bowser must-a be trying to-a capture you!

Peach: Iíd rather be captured than see my castle explode! Tell the Rocky Wrench in that first tank to make a truce!

Mario: Okay...

Minutes later, Peach is tied up in the back of a tank on its way to Sarasaland. The other tanks follow.

At Daisyís Castle...

Daisy: Well, Peach, it looks like you got yourself into this one! You could have fought back, but instead you
decided that you would just be captured! Now I will rule the Mushroom Kingdom!

Peach: *sigh*

Back at Peachís Castle...

Albatoss: This looks like a good next target! Iíll start to fire!

Mouser: Me too!

Tryclyde: Letís give it to them, Fry Guy!

Fry Guy: Letís!

Mario: Uh oh.

On Ludwigís doomship...

Roy: Look at Peachís Castle, about to be blown up by those guys!

Larry: Letís land and see whoís blowing up who. What if my spy Troopas are in there?

Ludwig: True. Letís land.

Upon landing, the Koopas rush into the castle.

Bowser: Whatís this all about?

Mario: You kidnapped Peach again!

Bowser: What?! I havenít even seen Peach!

Mario: Liar! All your-a Sub-con pals are-a outside!

Bowser: Those are Wartís, and he hates me now!

Lemmy: Ludwig, start up the Rocket Engines on your doomship! Maybe you can stop the Sub-conians that way!

Ludwig: Okay...

Roy: Iíll beat Mario but good!

Bowser: No time for that! These big guys could bomb us at any second!

Mario: Itís your-a fault!

Bowser: This is a misunderstanding! (But maybe this would have never transpired if we hadnít done that to
Susan... hmmm...)

Mario: Take this!

Mario, with a Hammer Brothers Suit on, hammers Bowser into submission.

Koopalings: NO!!!

Mario: Whoís-a next?

Roy: Why, you, Iíll-

Lemmy: Marioís got big Mushroom Guards behind him! Weíre dead!

Larry: Look! Ludwigís doomship just got blown up by that Bob-omb and Mouser bomb!

Iggy: When will this nightmare end?

Morton: When will this nightmare, this pain, this agony, this woe, ever end, ever stop, ever finish,
ever cease?

Wendy: Bowser canít breathe.

Lemmy: Obviously it wonít end today.

Roy: Mario, I canít wait until I can-

Lemmy: Our dadís dead! What good can possibly come out of this?!

Ludwig: Guys, I-

Six other Koopalings: Ludwig?!

Ludwig: Iíve stopped the Sub-con creatures from being able to destroy Peachís Castle. But at the same time,

The six other Koopalings watch in terror as Ludwig collapses. Certainly neither of these two big symbols of Koopas would ever fall, and not on the same day! But now the Koopalings were left to face with Mario and his Mushroom pals surrounding them. Outside the Sub-con creatures had all been defeated. But inside...

Mario: You-a deserved it! You-a kidnapped Peach!

Wendy: For once we didnít!

Mario: Should I-a believe you?

Wendy: For Bowser and Ludwigís sake you should! If I must take command of all Koopas, I will!

Mario: I-a now regret what I-a did. Luigi said-a something about-

Roy: About what?

Mario: Aabout Daisy wanting this kingdom.

Wendy: Didnít you think first before just slaying my father? Do you have any patience at all? If we Koopalings would have had patience with Susan, we wouldnít have these problems.

Mario: What do you-a mean?

Wendy: We kicked her out of her castle, and Wart has started attacking us all over that. Ludwig went down
thanks to him, and weíve had tons of problems because of that matter.

Lemmy: (whispering to Roy) If thereís anyone who could be royalty of the Koopas, itís Wendy, because I feel
she has shown leadership and maturity.

Roy: (whispering back) I wouldnít want to be King Koopa right now, but sheís thriving in the situation of being princess...

Mario: If only I-a and you-a would have had patience, nothing-a would have happened.

At Daisyís Castle...

Daisy: With Peach locked up in who knows where in this castle, Iíll have no trouble waltzing right over to her castle and taking the Mushroom Kingdom. Get the tanks ready, Luigi, and put me in the next-to-rear tank with you for protection.

Luigi: Iíll-a get them ready!

At Sub-con...

Susan: From the things weíve heard on the walkie-talkie thing, it sounds like all of those big shots went down.

Wart: Which means we must go there ourselves!

Susan: And work everything out?

Wart: And battle to the death!

Susan: Here comes something worse...

Wart and Susan arrive at Peachís Castle with Sub-con guards at the same time as the five tanks of Daisyís

Daisy: Destroy those guards!

Rocky: Right, princess, sure, whatever.

A cannonball goes flying, nailing Wartís side.

Susan: DAD!!!

Wart: Thatís all for today. In fact, for a long, long time.

Susan: What do you mean? Youíll survive, right?

Wart: Iím afraid this will be the end...

Susan: NO!!!

With Wart lifeless, one could only wonder how yet another huge figure on the planet of Plit could fall...

Daisy jumps out of her tank with Luigi and rushes inside the castle. Inside are six crying Koopalings and one crying Susan. The Koopalings and Susan made up, but it didnít help matters. Everything in their eyes that they viewed as infallible had fallen.

Daisy: Whatís this, a funeral procession?

Mario: It-a is! And it isnít funny at-a all!

Daisy: What happened?


Daisy: Is power everything? Now I realize that it is not. Life is more precious than power...

Luigi: Iím sorry-a, bro.

Mario: Me-a too.

Peach comes running in.

Daisy: Where did you come from?

Peach: A Chibobo helped me escape.

Daisy: I regret valuing power over life.

Wendy: I regret valuing anger over friendship.

Susan: I regret valuing revenge over forgiveness.

Peach: And I regret- well, I donít really regret anything.

Wendy: Now we Koopas and you Marios must all work together, no matter whether we used to hate each other or not. Thereís no princess of the Mushroom Kingdom alone, there will be four princesses working together to try to bring peace to our planet.

Susan: A Sledge Brother will no longer be valued over a Lava Lotus. All will be equal.

Daisy: There wonít be one with all the power, but many with unity that have more power than one alone could
ever have.

Peach: And there wonít be any battles over whoís better. The only way to recover is to work together.

Lemmy: But if we could have only known what we know now before we had this happen...

So there is the end of the feuds, the fights, the battles, and the struggles between Marios and Koopas.
However, there was also the end for Bowser, Ludwig, and Wart. Why did they have to be lost for the value
of unity to be found? Certainly this is a question that is asked often today, but it is a question with no easy answer. But certainly the change is seen in the lives of all creatures on Plit.

The End

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