Part 5: When the Shark Bites...
By the way, in case you are wondering, our heroes are usually automatically healed after each battle, but if they faint they only go to 1 HP. However, neither of these applies to a battle IMMEDIATELY after an earlier one. Understand? You don't? Well, too bad! On with the story.
"Oh great, now Mack's here?" grumbled Mario. "Oh well, we beat you once, now we can do it again!"
"That," Mack said, "was different. I am now ten time stronger thanks to our new leader."
"Who's the leader?" said Poppy.
"I'm not telling you that, but I will tell you this. DIE!"
BATTLE START
Mack: Hahaha! This will be your final resting place!
Attacker: Mack
Attack: Hyper Jump
Target: Poppy
Effect: 20 damage dealt
HP Left: 20
Mack: Mwahahaha! Hey... I should be dealing more than that!
Attacker: Poppy
Attack: HyperBombs
Target: Mack
Effect: 50 damage dealt
HP Left: 950
Attacker: Mario
Attack: Hammer
Target: Mack
Effect: 25 damage dealt.
HP Left: 925
Attacker: Luigi
Attack: Jump
Target: Mack
Effect: 25 damage dealt
HP Left: 900
Attacker: Wario
Attack: Double-Punch
Target: Mack
Effect: 20x2 (40) damage dealt
HP Left: 860
Wario: Not so tough are you now, eh, Mack? So much for being ten times as strong!
Mack: You won't be laughing after THIS!
Attacker: Mack
Attack: FireWall
Target: All
Effect: 20 damage dealt
HP Left: Poppy 0; Wario 35; Mario 30;
Luigi 30
Poppy faints.
Poppy: I'm always the victim!
Attacker: Mario
Attack: Item; Pick Me Up
Target: Poppy
Effect: HP fully restored! (Revived)
HP Left: 40
Poppy is revived!
Mack: Grr...
Attacker: Mack
Attack: Slicer
Target: All
Effect: 25 damage dealt
HP Left: Poppy 15; Wario 10; Mario
5; Luigi 5
Attacker: Luigi
Attack: Hammer
Target: Mack
Effect: 10 damage dealt
HP Left: 850
Mario: Why didn't you use a stronger special?
Luigi: I'm out of Flower Points! I forgot to recharge, so while you guys have plenty, I don't!
Mack: HA!
Attacker: Wario
Attack: Item; Double Mushroom
Target: Mario and Luigi
Effect: 20 HP restored
HP Left: Mario 25; Luigi 25
Poppy: Oh no, what I'm about to do will hurt...
Attacker: Poppy
Attack: Self-Destruct
Target: Mack and Poppy
Effect: 200 damage dealt
HP Left: Poppy 0; Mack 500
Mack: Wait! It dealt 200 damage. I shouldn't be down to 500!
Sorry, my calculator is broken.
Mack: Well, correct it!
TOO LATE! CONTINUE FIGHTING!
Mack: You guys will still lose...
Attacker: Mack
Attack: Jump
Target: Wario
Effect: 10 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
Wario faints.
Mario: We're in trouble!
Luigi: You can say that again.
Mario: We're in trouble!
Attacker: Mario
Attack: Super Fireball
Target: Mack
Effect: 30 damage dealt; Mack is set
on fire.
HP Left: 470
Attacker: Mack
Attack: None
Target: None
Effect: None
HP Left: N/A
Mack's dousing a tail fire! Wait...
he doesn't have a tail. Make that a... uh... something fire!
Mario: Pssst, Luigi. Do you have a Pick Me Up?
Luigi: I do!
Attacker: Luigi
Attack: Item; Pick Me Up
Target: Poppy
Effect: HP Fully Restored! (Revived)
HP Left: 40
Poppy is revived! (again)
Mario: Can you do that self-destruct again?
Poppy: I will, but it'll still hurt!
Attacker: Poppy
Attack: Self-Destruct
Target: Mack and Poppy
Effect: 200 damage dealt
HP Left: Poppy 0; Mack 270
Mack: You got my HP right at least...
Attacker: Mack
Attack: Hyper Jump
Target: Luigi
Effect: 15 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
Luigi faints
Mack: Hahaha! You'll lose!
Mario: Think again! You forgot you're still on fire! Now you can only attack once a turn, and...
Attacker: None
Attack: Burn
Target: Mack
Effect: 30 damage dealt
HP Left: 240
Mack's still on fire!
Mack: Owowowowowow! Hothothothothothot!!
Mario: It also occasionally burns you, as you just discovered. Now, I'm going to take a gamble here...
Attacker: Mario
Attack: Item; Wheel of (Mis)Fortune
Target: Mack/Mario
Effect: 50/50 chance of dealing 300
damage to either!
Mario: Hehehe! BUT, because I'm the star of the story, I get a 75 percent and you get a 25 percent.
Mack: Absolutely no fair!
Mario: Complain to the author! Now the wheel spins...
The wheel spins rapidly, slowing down slowly. If you've seen any of Lord Seth's Interviews, you'll know the routine. It lands on... Blue!
(round continued)
Target: Mack
Effect: 300 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
Mack faints.
MARIO WINS!!!
ALL GO UP IN LEVEL! ALL ARE LEVEL 4's!
Poppy now has 45 HP.
Wario now has 60 HP.
Mario now has 55 HP and has learned
Ultra Fireball.
Luigi now has 55 HP and has learned
Ultra Jump.
"But... but... I was supposed to be ten times as powerful!" Mack stutters.
"Well, it's like this," explains Luigi.
"You're in a semi-cramped cave so you can't use your jumps to its full
extent. Second, there are more of us
than there were in Super Mario RPG. Third, you're out of shape! I could
tell that immediately! Fourth, we're the stars of the story, giving us
an advantage. Fifth (and thank goodness) the author's calculator broke.
Sixth, you didn't have your Shy Guys. Six reasons, so you're only four
times as strong!
"Grrr..." Mack snarls. He's still strong enough to jump, so he hops out of the room quickly (toward the entrance where our heroes came in). Our heroes continue through the door that Max was blocking. A scroll rests on a pedastal. Also, the scroll's wriiting is red, and in large letters it says "Fire Scroll". Mario picks it up and yells "Hothothothothothothot!" Then it floats upward (just like the Star Pieces in Super Mario RPG).
FIRE SCROLL. FUNCTION: INCREASES STRENGTH OF FIRE ATTACKS.
"Woohoo! We found one of the Scrolls of Power! Ten more to go!" exclaims Wario. However, the door begins to open. Everyone spins around.
"No food here!" says the voice of the person outside angrily. "Yoshi still hungry!"
"Yoshi!" shouts Luigi as they all run down.
"Luigi, Mario, Wario, and... um... who you?" asks Yoshi.
"Poppy," says Poppy.
"Yoshi happy to meet Poppy!" Yoshi said.
"But how did you escape?"
"That easy. Yoshi so hungry, his tongue stick out longer than usual. Yoshi eat guard and spit out key. Yoshi then use key to escape from Solitary Confinement! Smithy's forces clear out, so Yoshi alone and hungry."
"Well, I suppose that now we have more help!" said Mario.
"Yoshi happy to help!" Yoshi says.
*YOSHI JOINS THE GROUP*
Yoshi: 50
Special:
Slurp-Slurps up the smaller enemies.
It doesn't deal too much damage, but stops them from attacking!
Egg Throw-Throws Eggs at enemies.
Mario once again flashes the peace sign to no one in particular, to Luigi's anger.
"I wanted to do that!" whines Luigi.
"Maybe next time, bro," Mario says.
But there are still ten more scrolls! Where and what are they? How will the first help our heroes? The answer is simple: Who knows?
"Okay, okay! The computer has finally been built!" announced ??? (the person with all of the question marks as their name in Cast of Characters). "This Super Computer is the most powerful ever! Now let's test it out. Computer, what is 1+1?"
"Whirrr... click... processing question... processing question, please wait... processing question, please wait... processing question, please..."
??? got tired of this and left the room, with the computer still saying "Processing question, please wait..."
Meanwhile...
"Come on," muttered the Goomba, "let's just find it and get out."
As Smithy's minions walked through the abandoned hallways of a half-buried high school, they finally come across the room they'd been seeking. They entered it.
Strangely enough, despite the fact that there should be absolutely no power in this long-abandoned high school, the lights turned on as they entered. They found what they were looking for in the center of the room on a table.
"This is it!" said the Jabit. "Exactly what we wanted to find."
What they found was a giant telescope-like machine. Behind it was a propped-up cardboard display case explaining how it worked. Most of it had faded out and was impossible to read. However, on the top it read:
Death Ray
Underneath that was the word "by". However,
the word after that was so faded out it was impossible to read. However,
the word after that word was 'Seth', so it read "by [UNREADABLE] Seth".
It was a Science Fair
project.
"Perfect! This will do fine!" said the Goomba, and the group proceeded to carry it out.
Meanwhile...
"So what's the next scroll?" Poppy asked.
"Who knows? I don't know the names of even another, let alone the next one," Luigi said.
"Yoshi know!" said Yoshi.
"What, then?" asked Mario.
"Uh... um... Yoshi Scroll, Mario Scroll, Poppy Scroll, Luigi Scroll, Wario Scroll, Bowser Scroll, Peach Scroll, Goomba Scroll, Lemmy Scroll, Morton Scroll, Roy Scroll, Iggy Scroll, Larry Scroll, Ludwig Scroll, Wendy-"
"Not only are those definitely NOT the scrolls, that's more than 11!" said Wario.
"Well, how Yoshi supposed to know?" grumbled Yoshi.
Suddenly, a squirrel-like creature appeared and ran by them, screaming "AAAAAAHHHH!"
"I wonder what he was running from," said Poppy.
"I think it's THAT," said Wario, pointing out a robot that looked vaguely human.
"Surrender all hope-and prepare to be roboticized in the name of Doctor Robotnik," it said, suddenly lunging for Yoshi.
BATTLE START
Enemies: 1 Swatbot
Chosen to Fight: Yoshi (well, not quite
CHOSEN, but only Yoshi got a chance to fight him)
Attacker: Swatbot
Attack: Laser
Target: Yoshi
Effect: 5 damage dealt
HP Left: 45
Swatbot (in a robotic voice): I should be dealing more damage than that.
Yoshi: Yoshi mad now!
Attacker: Yoshi
Attack: Egg Throw
Target: Swatbot
Effect: 50 damage dealt
HP Left: 0
Swatbot is defeated.
YOSHI WINS!
BLAM! The robot's pieces went scattering everywhere.
"Huh? Who's Doctor Robotnik?" Poppy asked aloud. "I know Lord Seth mentioned him a few times, Robotnik was in some video games, I think."
"I know! I know!" exclaimed Mario. "He's Sonic the Hedgehog's archenemy. In short, to Sonic who Bowser is to us, except Robotnik's more evil. He roboticizes animals into his robot slaves. He was in some video games for Sega Genesis and Dreamcast."
"Wait," said Luigi. "Sega is Nintendo's RIVAL, so how would you know this?"
"Well," said Wario, "they DID release Sonic Advance for GBA and Sonic Adventure 2 for GCN... Sega must be a third-party publisher or something now," Wario said.
"But what Robotnik doing here," Yoshi asked, "if Robotnik exist in other universe?"
"Well... I'm no rocket scientist, but
my guess is that Sega becoming a Third Party publisher for Nintendo
has upset the universal video game dimension balance, causing some portals
to open, which is how Robotnik
got in," suggested Mario.
???: Hello.
Luigi: Eeek! Who's that? And why did this story suddenly change to script format?
Whoops, my mistake. I'll fix that.
"Anyway," said the stranger, "would any of you happen to want to buy some weapons?"
"Uh... sure, why not?" said Wario. They looked at the inventory and bought:
Bob-omb (Poppy)
Super Hammer (Mario)
Punch Gloves (Wario)
Super Hammer (Luigi)
Hard Boots (Yoshi)
"Pleasure doing business with you," the stranger said. He then walked away and vanished into the mist that suddenly showed up.
"Well, at least we got some equipment!"
"And hopefully it'll be enough to defeat our coming foe, Robotnik... uh, whoever he is," added Poppy.
"I wouldn't be too sure about that," said a voice behind them. They all spun around, and gazed into the eyes of a somewhat familiar face.
Part 7: Of All The Times To Have Writers Block! Uh... I Guess I'll Have To Leave This Part Un-named. Drats!
But, before we see exactly who this mystery person is, we shall cut away for a moment and see what else is developing.
"Exactly as I told you, Vapor," said Lord Seth. "It's just like a game of chess. The players manipulate the pieces, getting them to go where they want to go, making them do what they want to do. AND, the pieces don't even know that. Of course, this is much more complicated, but the allegory is there. Then, once you have all your pieces in position, have captured your opponents', you move in, and then... Checkmate."
"Oh? Then I suppose you and I are the players one side?"
"Of course. Unfortunately, our foe got the first move. But if this was a chessboard-like game, we have just moved our pieces close to our opponents'. But, unlike a chess game... we're playing for much higher stakes."
"Don't remind me," sighed Vapor. "I know exactly what's at stake."
Back to our heroes...
Now, I know that you're all wondering who the heck is the person they saw. Well, I guess you'll have to wait just a LITTLE longer.
As to Robotnik. IF you have been reading the Sonic the Hedgehog comic series, then you would know that although Robotnik has died, ANOTHER Robotnik from a different dimension has come in (his name is Robo-Robotnik because he roboticized himself to make himself stronger). But he downloaded his mind into a different body (no, no one was in possession of it beforehand, he created it himself). That is why he looks different in Sonic Adventure and Sonic Adventure 2: Battle (now for Nintendo GameCube!).
To recap: Robotnik was killed but another Robotnik from a different universe came in and took his place. If this makes no sense, just read the comics!
So, THIS Robotnik (who ocassionally refers to himself as Robotnik, Mach 2) has transcended himself and his forces into the Mario Universe. Because of the release of Sonic Adventure 2: Battle and Sonic Advance for Nintendo platforms, portals have been created, allowing him to come here.
"I believe I can do a better job of explaining this," said Ludwig. "In this case, they-"
Uh... Ludwig?
"What?"
You're imprisoned, remember?
"Whoops!"
Okay, okay, NOW we cut back to where our heroes were.
"It's... it's..." Mario stammered, "It's A GHOST! AHHHHHHH!"
"IT'S NOT A GHOST!" shouted Luigi.
"Oh, and what makes YOU such an expert?" sneered Mario.
"I've fought too many of them in Luigi's Mansion to NOT know! And besides, here are your contact lens."
"Oh, thank you!" said Mario. "I've kind of developed a phobia of ghosts lately because of my horrible experience in Luigi's Mansion."
"Would Mario hurry up and tell the reader who the person he thought was Ghost really is?"
"Nah, I want Wario to do the honors."
"What? No, YOU'RE the big-shot hero!"
Our friends started arguing while the figure stomped his foot impatiently.
"Well, while these people keep fighting, how about I do?" asks Poppy.
Uh, sure!
"It's... it's... it's..."
JUST HURRY UP AND SAY IT!
"It is none other than the star of one of Lord Seth's favorite games, which is Sonic Advance, and the person in question is none other than Sonic himself!"
"Well, I was WONDERING when one of you would say who I was," Sonic said.
And it's about time! I dedicated pretty much this entire part to building up suspense. Now, what should I do now? I know! I'll end this and start the next part!
Part 8: Robotnik's Revenge
Meanwhile...
"Oh yes!" laughed ???. "They're doing it! Why bother trying to get the scrolls ourselves? We'll just let Mario get them himself, then we'll get them all! It saves us quite a bit of work. Mwahahaha! And then... with the Scrolls of Power I can bring Smithy back to life!"
Now, a bit of an explanation is in order.
Smithy, as you know, is pretty much a robot with AI, and I don't mean the
movie (which wasn't good anyway). He can think for himself, despite that
he is not organic. There is something called the Turing Test. It goes like
this. One person asks two other people, one of whom is really a computer,
a question. Each answers (though a human is usually at the computer to
make the voices sound similar, or in some other way make it so the voice
is similar) the question. If, after six questions, the
person asking the questions does not
know which is the computer, it is Artifical Intelligence. On Earth, no
machine has yet passed it. However, Smithy can pass it brilliantly. In
fact, many people thought that HE was the human!
Now, as you know, if a robot is destroyed, it can easily be put back together. Not so in Smithy?s case. Ordinarily that would work, but he's cheated Death too many times.
Death: Got any 3s?
Smithy: Go fish.
Death walks away, and then comes back with a pretty big Fishbone he caught.
Smithy: Got any 3s?
Death: Go fish... HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!
And why did this story suddenly go into script format? Well, we (using the royal we) now return you to your regular story, in its regular format
"Okay, okay," said Wario. "I'll say who the person is."
"I already did," said Poppy.
"We went through that all for NOTHING?!" Mario exclaimed.
"Mario right," admitted Yoshi sadly.
"So, uh, I take it you're against Robotnik, too?" asked Sonic.
Well, he does have one of the Scrolls of... whoops!
"Definitely," said Luigi. "We're definitely against him, especially if he has a Scroll of Power."
"Oh? And I suppose you're ready RIGHT NOW?!" called a voice. Everyone spun around to see Robotnik.
"Well, why not? Why wouldn't we?"
"Hee hee hee!" laughed Robotnik. "Just watch!"
Robotnik's ship extended four claws, grabbing hold of both Luigi and Wario. The third claw triesd to grab Sonic, but Sonic was fast enough to evade its grip The fourth missed Yoshi, but Yoshi tried to run from it and unfortunately ran right into where it accidently went.
"HEY!" shouted Luigi. "Let us go!"
"Not a chance!" Robotnik replied.
"This no fair!" complained Yoshi. "Yoshi just rescued. Yoshi shouldn't be captured again!"
"Uh oh," said Wario. "I know this. He'll take us and turn us into robots, making us his slaves."
"Wrong. I'd roboticize you, but an associate of mine has other plans," gloated Robotnik as he flew off. "Oh, and Silver Sonic? FINISH THEM!"
As if on cue (and it was on cue), the ground started shaking as if an earthquake was happening. Out of the ground came a large, silver, robot Sonic-like figure, a bigger form of the next-to-final boss in Sonic the Hedgehog 2.
"I was programmed to destroy you," it said in a robotic voice, "and I will comply with my orders."