Chapter 2
For those of you who have skipped Chapter 1, I will need to recap. Yes, I know that technically a "Chapter" is usually less than a "Part", but bear with me, people!
An evil being, who we still don't know the name of, wants to conquer Plit. However, he is commanding Smithy's army. Smithy is the ONLY one capable of doing so... or at least that's what everyone thought. In any case, Smithy was destroyed a long time ago by Mario, Geno, Mallow, Peach, and Bowser, and he can't be brought back to life by normal means (such as simply rebuilding him).
Whoever the new commander of Smithy's army is, this person is determined to gather all eleven Scrolls of Power. When they are all combined, something special is supposed to happen, though no one (except the creator of the Scrolls) knows exactly what. We would ask the creator, but regretably he died approximately 1,000,016 years ago. Hey, that's how old Lord Seth is! I wonder if that's a coincidence. In any case, this person wants to get all of them for his own evil purposes. Our heroes, Mario, Poppy, Squitter, Sonic, and Kirby, must foil this nemesis' plan. But, CAN they?
The current count of Scrolls of Power is that our heroes have five. However, Bowyer managed to get one. That, for those of you who never paid attention in math class, leaves five Scrolls.
When we last left off, they had all entered a mysterious miniature "warp hole". Where does it lead? Are there dangers there? Will they find the next Scroll of Power? We are about to find out...
Part 20: Warphole Wanderers
Now our heroes... wait a minute, they're not here! Oh, they went through the warphole. Now, where did they go? How can this story be told if we don't know where they are? Let's see...
PLEASE STAND BY. WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.
Okay, now we located them... on with the story!
"Hmm..." said Mario "This place looks strange, yet somewhat familiar."
"I've got it!" said Poppy. "Yet another
piece of information we're getting indirectly from Lord Seth. This
is the Yoshi Carribean, where Super
Wario World takes place."
"I wonder where the next Scroll will be," said Sonic.
"You won't get a chance to find out," said Yardivoch, who suddenly appeared. "Because I'M going to beat you to it!"
"Aw... I thought we were going to fight," whined Mario.
"My job isn't to fight you... it's to get that Scroll! See you later, suckers!" Yardivoch laughed as he threw a smoke bomb. When the smoke cleared (after a few seconds) he was gone.
"Well," said Sonic, "I think the only
thing to do is to get
to the Scroll before he does."
"That won't be easy," said a voice. Our heroes turned to see a hooded figure. "I have the Scroll of Power, and only one person will get it," he cackled.
Suddenly, Yardivoch appeared. He tried to attack the figure but got blasted back.
"Now that I have your attention," he said, "I'll only give the Scroll to whoever can pass my 'test'. You five have to decide which one of you will try."
Our heroes discussed (well, argued) who should participate. Finally they settled on Mario.
"Okay," said the figure "Now for the test itself. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10. You both have to guess it."
Both Mario and Yardivoch fainted.
"What?" asked the figure innocently.
"My guess is 4," said Mario.
"Mine is 7," said Yardivoch.
"And... it's a 6! Yardivoch wins!" said the figure.
Our heroes' hearts sank as they saw Yardivoch get the Scroll. He left.
"Oh, and the Scroll of Power you wanted is right down that cave," he said. Everyone stared at him. "Well, I caught Yardivoch cheating, so I gave him a fake Scroll."
"How can someone cheat at a guessing game?" wondered Poppy out loud.
Meanwhile...
"And here's the Scroll!" said Yardivoch proudly.
"Hmm..." ??? said. He looked at the Scroll. "Hey! This isn't the Scroll at all! You made a mistake! I'm docking fifty percent of your pay!"
"But... but..." sputtered Yardivoch.
"Just for that, I'll dock fifty-five percent instead!"
"Oh man..." Yardivoch moaned as he left. "Just wait until we're unionized!" he added under his breath.
"I heard that! Now it's sixty percent!"
Yardivoch fainted.
"This Scroll," said the hooded figure, "is called the "Pure Scroll". Only non-evil beings can hold it. Well, unless they have the Dark Scroll to cancel its power out," he added.
"Well, could you give it to us?" asked Poppy.
"Can't you get it yourself?"
"Nope! Too lazy."
Everyone fainted. Hey, what's with all the fainting?
Part 21: Spiderbot Smackdown (aka Boil the Big Bully... Again!)
Our heroes all got up from their faint and went to the Scroll. However, when they got there, they all started an argument about who was supposed to get the Scroll.
"Fine! Let's just take a vote!" suggested Poppy. "Just POINT at who you want to get it!"
Mario pointed to Poppy. Poppy pointed to Sonic. Sonic pointed to Squitter. Squitter pointed to Kirby (well, in a manner of speaking). Kirby pointed to Mario. They all resumed their argument. However, Kirby went over to the Scroll and inhaled it, then spit it out to where our heroes were. Mario was the only one who would actually touch it because of all of Kirby's saliva on it, so he did the peace sign again. This caused the argument to start up again. Finally, Kirby, tired of it all, sucked everyone up then spit them out, putting an end to the argument (and a start to them all cleaning themselves up). Unfortunately, everyone forgot to try to put the Scroll together with the other Scrolls to see what message it spelled out now.
Our heroes exited the cave and find themself smack dab in the middle of a desert.
"Hey, aren't those giant spiders coming straight toward us?" asked Mario.
"EEEEEKKK!!! GIANT SPIDERS!!!" Squitter screamed as he ran around in circles.
"Um... Squitter? In case you haven't noticed, you ARE a giant spider!" replied Poppy.
Squitter instantly stopped running and screaming. "Oh," he said.
"Hey, since you're a giant spider, could you possibly tell them to stop, because I'm pretty sure they want to attack us..." said Sonic.
"Okay, I'll try," said Squitter. "Spiders, could you stop?"
The spiders continued. "Say it louder!" urged Mario.
"SPIDERS, STOP!!!" shouted Squitter. The spiders instantly stopped. As our heroes got a little closer, they found that the spiders were really robots called spiderbots.
"Why did they stop, then?" wondered Poppy.
"Easy," said Mario. "They were out of batteries."
Everyone fainted (again) except for Mario. While he waited for them to wake up, he took a good look at the bottom of one of the spiderbots. It said "Made in Smithy's Factory, Inc."
After the others woke up...
"Hey! Look at this!" said Mario, pointing out what it said on the spiderbot. "It says it was made in Smithy's Factory, but Smithy's Factory was completely destroyed, along with Smithy!"
"Mario," said Sonic, "that occurred years ago, and lots can happen in that amount of time."
"I guess you're right," admitted Mario.
Before our heroes could continue their conversation, they were interrupted by Kirby excitedly pointing in a certain direction. Everyone turned to see what Kirby was pointing at.
"Well, what do you know? It must be the next Scroll of Power!" said Sonic.
"Ooh! Let me get it!" said Squitter, excitedly running toward it.
"Wait! It might be a trap!" cried Poppy, but it was too late. Squitter grabbed it in one of his eight hands, er, legs, er, one of his eight appendages. Suddenly...
Nothing happened! "What?" shouted Poppy "We don't have to fight anyone? I thought there was supposed to be some big battle, against some unstoppable foe, and then-"
"Quiet!" said Mario. Unfortunately, a giant creature resembling the giant Bully from Lethal Lava Land in Super Mario 64 came along, purely by chance (really!). The part of the desert our heroes (and the Bully) were standing on elevated, and lava poured in right below them.
"Oh, this is easy," said Mario. He punched the Big Bully a few times and knocked it into the lava.
"What? I thought that we were going to fight a HARD enemy, a really-" Poppy said, but didn't get any further because Sonic slapped some duct tape on his mouth.
"Uh, we got the Scroll of Power, at least. Which one is it?"
"It's the Ice Scroll," said Mario.
"That makes no sense! Why is an ICE Scroll in a desert?"
"Makes no sense to me either," replied Kirby. Everyone stared at him. "What?" he asked.
"You can TALK?!"
"Uh... yeah."
"Why didn't you TELL us?"
"You didn't ask," said Kirby, simply. For the zillionth time, everyone fainted, but Kirby woke them up by sucking them up then spitting them out.
And so, with the Ice Scroll in hand, our heroes continued onward on their quest to collect all of the Scrolls of Power. But their journey grows even more perilous. Sure, this was an extremely easy Scroll to get, but what about the others? What dangers await them? And, uh, now that they have a new one, what's the message say now?
"Well," said Sonic, answering the narrator's
question, "here's what we've got at the start. It says 'If all 11
Scrolls of Power are combined, the
person who has them all will be granted one wish (no, this isn't a takeoff
of Dragonball Z). But beware! Even those of evil intention are free to
use the Scrolls, as the-' And that's where it ends. We'll need at least
one more Scroll until we figure out the rest."
"If only Bowyer hadn't gotten away with that Wind Scroll..." grumbled Mario.
"Actually," said Sonic, "we don't know whether that one would have fit right after that. It could be that Scroll, or the ninth, tenth, or eleventh. The only way to find out for sure is to get them, so let's go and find them!"
"Since we got this one so quickly, I have a feeling that the next one will take longer to get," said Kirby.
Part 22: [Unfortunately, due to the fact that all of our "part-namers" are out on strike because we only paid them one coin per decade, this part will remain unnamed for the next decade or so]
Suddenly, Sonic disappeared! I know this is corny, but it's how it happened... I think.
"Hey! What happened?" asked Poppy.
Well, our contract sort of ran out, and...
"Oh no!" shrieked Mario "He had some of the Scrolls! How do we get them back?"
Just then, all of the Scrolls Sonic was carrying fell down on Mario's head.
"Oh great, what's next, the kitchen sink?" asked Squitter.
"Uh oh..." said Poppy. As Mario started to get up, a kitchen sink fell on him.
"You know, I'm positive I saw this in a movie somewhere..." mumbled Squitter.
"Where are we anyway?" asked Kirby.
Poppy pulled a map out of nowhere and looked at it. "We're somewhere off the map," he said.
"I STILL say I saw thtis in a movie somewhere!" mumbled Squitter.
Mario sighed. "Well, where are we supposed to go look for the next Scroll?"
"Oooh! Lookee there!" said Poppy as he pointed to a sign saying "Scroll of Power this way--anyone named Mario, Poppy, Sonic, Yoshi, Wario, Luigi, Kirby, Donkey Kong, Squitter, OR Kirby please do not pay attention to these signs."
"Weeeeeeell..." said Mario, "you can't believe everything you read. Just some of it, so let's follow the sign and not believe the part about how we're not supposed to follow it!"
"Okay..." said Kirby.
"I KNOW I saw this in a mov-"
"SHUT UP SQUITTER!!!" everyone screamed.
"And wasn't that in a-"
"I said shut up!" yelled Mario.
"Um... I actually was going to say I read that in a book."
"Oh," said Mario.
"Enough with the jokes! We need to find the Scrolls! I'm getting very bored with all of this..."
"Okay, okay." agreed Kirby. "Let's find that Scroll!"
And so, for the zillionth time (sorry for using numbers that aren't real, but we lost count), our heroes set out in search for the next Scroll. Suddenly, a strange device appeared out of nowhere!
"What's this?" wondered Mario, picking it up.
"It's a Scroll of Power tracking device," said Squitter.
"How'd you know that?" asked Poppy.
"It says so on the side."
The device started to beep and point north!
"Why did this suddenly appear? It is SO corny! This adventure is starting to be even more corny than that business with those Sword Brothers!" complained Mario.
"Mario, don't complain!" urged Kirby.
Who's complaining? I'm not complaining! Does it look like I'm complaining?"
"Yes," everyone said simultaneously.
"Oh," said Mario.
Anyway, so after following the sign for a few feet or so, they came upon another sign saying the same thing, but pointing in another direction. Naturally, they went in that direction too. A dozen or so signs later, our heroes ended up completely wet.
"Why didn't you look where you were going?" shouted Mario.
"Why didn't YOU look where YOU were going?"
"Oh yeah? Why didn't YOU look where he said you were looking where he was..."
It went on like that for a while. It continued until they noticed...
"Why are we floating in the air?" wondered Squitter. "And I saw this in a movie someplace. I think it was-"
Mario quickly slapped duct tape on Squitter's mouth.
"I know what's happening!" shouted Poppy excitedly. "We're all going to be brought onboard a spaceship, and they'll perform weird experiments on us, then erase our memories, then return us to where we were, and... oh, never mind. Um, I think we're about to fall."
Everyone screamed, but by pure coincidence they landed on a trampoline, proving once again that this adventure is even more corny than that business with the Sword Brothers.
Part 23: The First Finale
While walking, Kirby tripped and landed in a star-shaped spaceship. Unfortunately, the hit knocked him out and wiped out his memory. Then the spaceship took off. This is how the Kirby TV Show began.
"... and here are the remaining Scrolls," said Squitter.
"I'm not even going to comment on how corny this is," muttered Poppy.
Now that they had all the Scrolls, save two, they managed to decipher the message. Yes, they're missing two, but for reasons we shall not explain here they managed to figure out what the whole message was. It basically said that the scrolls were scattered around the world and that if someone got them all they could have one wish. (Total rip-off of DragonballZ, eh?)
"Well," Squitter said "I guess you can take it from here. I've got to go now."
"Go WHERE?" asked Mario.
"I need to go help out Donkey Kong."
"Okay," agreed Poppy. Squitter left.
"So," said Mario, "it's come down to only us. Oh well, let's find those two scrolls that Smithy's Successor has."
Meanwhile...
"Okay, kids," said Bowser, "I know we may all be captured and are all in this prison cell, but it's high time I told you about the birds and the bees."
"NOOOOOOO!!!" the Koopalings all screamed.
"'Fraid so, kids. It's the facts of
life. But remember, no matter how disgusting it may seem, it's all perfectly
normal. Let's start with the basics."
One hour later...
"Okay, we're done with the basics! Now let's move on to more advanced material. But first, let's review. We have already discussed the ways to tell a bird and a bee apart. Birds are usually larger, don't make honey, don't sting you, have beaks, and aren't yellow-and-black striped. Okay, now let's talk about the different kinds of birds and bees!"
"Our dad is not of this Earth," Larry said.
"We don't live on Earth!" said Iggy.
"It's a figure of speech!"
It must be tough having Bowser for a
dad. Let's check up on how Mario and Poppy are doing... not very well,
apparently. They're in Smithy's ex-Fortress,
the current headquarters of Smithy's Successor. No wait, that's not bad,
that's good. Silly me...
"I hate that narrator," Poppy mumbled.
Anyway, it seems that they knew of their coming, and, not wanting to tangle with Mario again, the place seems evacuated... no, wait, there's someone there. Someone that looks a lot like... argh, can't we see more than just the outline?!
"We'll be back, right after a word from our sponsor!" said a randomly-appearing-weird-guy.
"Hi everyone! Be sure to buy Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire! Thank you!"
We now return to our story.
"Our sponsor is Pokémon? That sure explains a lot," Mario noted. "Oh well, we'd better continue on."
"You won't be continuing on," said a voice.
"W-who's that?" whispered Poppy.
"Oh, you'll find out soon enough... but does it really matter? IT ALL ENDS HERE!"
Gradually, a figure came into view.
"What? You're Smithy himself!" Mario said in disappointment.
"Fool! I'm not Smithy! I'm Smithy Jr!"
A quick note: This is not the tourist Smithy Jr. He's a completely different Smithy Jr. Any references to "Smithy Jr" will be referring to the character in the story, NOT the Smithy Jr who has submitted various things to Lemmy's Land.
"Oh? You think you can take the Scrolls from us?" Mario asked defiantly.
"Not exactly," Smithy Jr said. "I'm going to kill you two, THEN take the Scrolls! No, wait, what's the point? Check your pocket, Poppy."
Poppy looked in his pocket, where apparently he was holding the Scrolls of Power he had collected... must have deep pockets. Anyway, he discovered they're gone.
"But where did they go?" Mario asked, although he already knew the answer.
"Oh, I had this whole encounter planned out thoroughly. When you two weren't looking, my quietest henchman managed to steal them from you. I won't go into the details, but suffice to say, I've won!"
"Not exactly," Mario said trumphantly. The ones Poppy had were fakes. The REAL ones I have!"
"Oh, you think THAT matters?" Smithy Jr asked. "You forget I have all kinds of awesome powers at my disposal... like this!" he added as the Scrolls were drawn away from Mario and toward Smithy Jr.
"Oh no you don't!" Mario shouted. He went all-out in an attack on Smithy Jr, which Poppy joined in on. Only a few minutes later the mechanical monstrosity had collapsed.
"Come to think of it, how can robots have kids?" wondered Poppy.
"I don't think we want to know," Mario said. "But let's just get the Scrolls and rescue the others."
"And what about the two we don't have?"
"Doesn't matter. Two won't help Smithy Jr's army out at all, and Smithy Jr's dead anyway." Mario kicked the remains of Smithy Jr to prove his point.
Mario and Poppy rescued all his friends
and allies and they all went home to have a victory celebrations. But
little did they know that they had
not seen the last of Smithy Jr...
"You know," said Mario, "I keep having the strange feeling I'm forgetting something."
Meanwhile...
"Now to discuss the various kinds of bees!" Bowser announced. "One type is a bumblebess, which..."
"He's even worse than Morton," complained Roy.
The End
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