Our story starts in Princess Toadstool's Castle...
Mario: Mamamia, things are-a-really boring with no Bowser to beat up.
Princess Toadstool enters.
Peach: Hi Mario, what's up?
Mario: Not-a-much, I'm afraid.
Peach: I've got good news Mario, every year in the month April we have a special go-kart competiton to celebrate spring.
Mario: A go-kart race?! Count-a-me in.
Peach: Okay, there are eight spaces and I'm entering and so are you. Toad will probably be entering too so that leaves five spaces left.
Mario: Okay, I'll go get Luigi and Yoshi.
Mario runs off. Meanwhile, in the Valley of Bowser, Larry, Ludwig, and Iggy are wandering about...
Iggy: I don't get it Ludwig, what are we doing here?
Ludwig: We are merely looking for parts of King Dad's Clown Car.
Larry: Come on guys, this way! I know the way around MY land.
Iggy: But Larry, this is only partly yours, and the part we're on is King Dad's.
A bit of paper blows into Iggy's face.
Iggy: What's this?
Go-Kart Competition
The Go-Kart competiton will go around eight of the major places of Plit. Up to 8 people may enter, but hurry! There may not be any more spaces left. All competitors must be at least 20 years old and must know how to drive. For more information please go to your local shop and pick up an in-game rules leaflet.
1st prize: 1,000,000 coins
2nd prize: 500,000 coins
Free trophy to anyone who enters.
Wanted:
A referee and an announcer.
Ludwig: Wow, a go-kart competition?!
Larry: Sounds fun.
Ludwig: Yeah, first prize, one million coins!
Larry: Second prize, 500 thousand coins!
Iggy: Free trophies to everyone who enters! Too bad we can't enter.
Ludwig: Hello, knock knock, anyone home? We're Koopas, and we NEVER follow rules.
At Kastle Koopa...
Bowser: No!!! You may not enter.
Morton: Why, how, 'tis terribly unfair, annoying, bad and further more-
Roy: Aw shudup.
Bowser: Well for one you're all too young, two you all don't know how to drive, and three-
Ludwig: But King Dad, I can probably counter those with one of my great inventions.
Bowser: Let me finish, and three I wouldn't let you all beat up Mario.
Wendy: Why's that?
Bowser: Because you seven are the second biggest losers on the team for failing.
Roy: Who's the biggest losers on the team?
Bowser: Mechakoopas.
Lemmy: So you're throwing away a chance to win 1.5 million coins?
Bowser: Of course not, who said anything about me not entering? Heh heh.
Koopalings: YOU?!
Bowser: Yes me, now who found the leaflet?
Iggy: Me.
Bowser: All right Iggy, you can have the biggest share of my prize money.
Roy and Wendy frown.
Ludwig: But King Dad, there's no guarantee that you'll win. In fact, you have a 1 in 8 chance of winning.
Bowser: Make that an 8 in 8 chance of winning, Ludwig, heh heh. First, Goomba, Lakitu, get down to the Mushroom Kingdom and apply for that announcer and referee.
Lakitu and Goomba: Okay.
Lakitu and Goomba quickly head over to the Mushroom Kingdom.
Bowser: Now for step two, Ludwig, I want you to build me a machine that will bring me someone who has a big grudge against Mario.
Ludwig: Okay, but why?
Bowser: No time for questions right now, you kids help him too. Meanwhile I'll train some of my troops.
Meanwhile, at the Mushroom Kingdom, Goomba and Lakitu have arrived.
Lakitu: But please, Princess Toadstool.
Goomba: Yeah, please.
Peach: No, and that's my final anwser!
Lakitu: But Princess, we promise we won't do anything wrong.
Peach: Well I guess if you promise, but no funny stuff or Mario will deal with you.
Goomba starts sweating.
Lakitu and Goomba: Yes, your majesty.
The scene now shifts to Mario's Pad...
Mario: Come on, Luigi, first prize is one million coins. Think of all the pasta we could buy with that.
Luigi: But Mario, we could never drive very well, and what if we get hurt?
Mario: But Toad promised to teach us all about the go-karting rules.
Luigi: Well, okay.
Mario: Great! Now let's ask Yoshi.
Our two heroes make their way towards Yoshi's Island...
Mario: So howzaboutit Yoshi, wanna race?
Yoshi: Yoshi do, Yoshi do, Yoshi love go-karts, they go vawoom.
Mario: So, you-a in?
Yoshi: Yoshi say yes.
Back in Kastle Koopa, one week before the race...
Ludwig: It's done, my rival finder is complete.
Bowser: Good, now make it find someone who detests Mario.
Ludwig: Okay King Dad, here goes.
Ludwig pushes a button.
Lemmy: Duck for cover!
All the Koopalings other than Ludwig duck for cover. Donkey Kong Jr. comes out of the machine.
DK Jr.: Ooohh oohh ah ah.
Bowser: WHAT?! A monkey has a grudge against Mario?!
Ludwig: Unfortuanately, yes. However, I prepared for such a catastrophical event.
Ludwig puts a cap on DK Jr.
DK Jr.: Me wanna race and kill Mario.
Ludwig: That mere hat had a brain chip inside that gives our simeon freind here the ability to talk and gives him the skills of driving.
Lemmy: One question, why did you want someone who hated Mario's guts?
Bowser: Because I need someone to keep Mario occupied while I zoom ahead.
Roy: What if Mario isn't even in the race?
Bowser: I know he is because Lakitu told me.
Iggy: Isn't the ape a bit young?
Bowser: Yeah, but the judges won't know that, and we have my underling as the referee.
Bowser, DK Jr., the Koopalings, and various members of the Koopa Troop head towards the Mushroom Kingdom.
Peach: Eek! Bowser! Mario, take care of him.
Mario: My-a pleasure.
Bowser: Hold it! I want to enter the race.
Mario: We would never let you.
Peach: Well there are three spaces left, and nothing in the rulebook says anything about evil villains.
Bowser: So I can enter?
Peach: Yes, but no funny stuff.
Bowser: Okay, then I'll enter along with the ape and...
All the Koopalings start smiling. Bowser looks at all the Koopalings from left to right and then sees a Koopa Troopa standing beside them.
Bowser: ... and the Koopa Troopa.
The Koopalings look very angry. Bowser goes over to them.
Bowser: Of course I'll be relying on you seven to lay fiendish traps and everything.
Koopalings: ALL RIGHT!
In Kastle Koopa, one day before the race begins...
Ludwig: Now as I was saying, there will be two teams of us. Lemmy, Roy, and myself will be one, while the rest of you are team two. The first track is called Mario Circuit, a moderate track with a few twists and turns. It is our job to turn it into a death trap. Are we clear?
All other Koopalings: Yes.
Ludwig: Good, now let us have some rest.
The next day...
Goomba: And welcome racing fans to Mario Circuit, the place where the first race will be taking place.
The crowd cheers.
Goomba: Now let's have a look at our racers. First there's Mario and Luigi, these guys seem to be all-rounders and if they're as good at racing as they are at beating up Bowser then this should be a breeze for them.
Audience: YAAAAAAAAYYY!!!
Koopalings: BOOOO, HISSSSS.
Goomba: Then there's our Princess Peach and Yoshi, who both seem to have a great advantage at the start. And there's Toad and Koopa Troopa, who both are very good turners. And without further ado, I introduce the King of the Koopas, BOWSER!!!
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Koopalings: YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!
Goomba: And Donkey Kong Jr, who is both very fast and bad at turning. Well Lakitu, you tell them the rules.
Lakitu: Okay, along the track there are many power-ups, use these to your advantage. Remember, if you want the grand prize you have to play dirty. Well racers, on your marks, get set, GO!
Goomba: And Yoshi takes an early lead. If the dino keeps this up he'll have the game in the bag.
Yoshi: Wow, Yoshi have fun time! Wooaaaaahhhh!
Goomba: What's going on? It seems that Yoshi is slipping on some form of oil.
Ludwig, Lemmy, and Roy emerge from behind a drain pipe.
Goomba: And King Bowser takes the lead.
Lemmy: Great, King Dad's in the lead.
Ludwig: Yes, but we have to keep it that way. Roy, Lemmy, get some power-ups.
The scene switches to further down the track, where Toad is in hot pursuit of Bowser.
Toad: Hey Bowser, watch this!
Goomba: Amazing! Toad uses a Feather to allow him to jump over Bowser.
Toad: Hah hah hah! What? Woooaaaah!
Goomba: Another accident! Toad lands in a warp zone and, what's this, is just behind Yoshi in eighth place.
Larry, Morton, Wendy, and Iggy emerge from behind a rock.
Larry: Heh heh heh, you should have seen the look on the fungus when he fell into that warp zone.
Iggy: Yeah, but it was MY brilliant idea.
Wendy: Oh shut up Iggy.
Morton: Yes Iggy, shut up, you talk too much, you think too much about yourself, I mean you don't see me going (in a bad impression of Iggy's voice) look at me I'm Morton, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Wendy: You shut up too Morton.
Morton: Oh so who made you the boss, leader, person in charge, in fact if anyone should rule this group it should be me, moi, Morton Koopa Juni-
Wendy: Morton?
Morton: Yes?
Wendy: SHUT UP!!!
Morton: Yes ma'am.
Wendy: Good, now Iggy, I want you to make that warp pipe huge so that the racers will bang into it.
Iggy: But-
Wendy: Now!
Iggy: But what if King Dad-
Wendy: NOWWW!!!
Iggy: Yes ma'am.
Larry: Gosh, Wendy can sure order people about.
Wendy: As for you Larry, plant these Piranha Plants around this area.
Larry: But-
Wendy: NOWWW!
Larry: Yes ma'am.
The scene switches back to the race. All of the racers have crossed one lap out of three. Here are the current positions:
1st: Bowser
2nd: Mario
3rd: Luigi
4th: Koopa Troopa
5th: Peach
6th: DK Jr.
7th: Yoshi
8th: Toad
Lemmy: Okay Ludwig, we have the power-ups, and King Dad's getting closer. What do we do?
Ludwig: Give them to Roy, he will throw them to King Dad because Roy's the best at throwing.
Roy: Here comes King Dad, ready, aim, fire!
Roy throws a Starman, a Boo, and a Feather.
Bowser: Thanks Roy!
Mario: Roy! King Koopa has his-a kids helping him. That just isn't-a fair.
Mario hits a box and gets a Feather.
Mario: I'd-a better save-a this for-a later.
Goomba: And the racers are getting close to the end of the lap. Great Scot! What's this?! A giant drain pipe and many Piranha Plants!
Bowser: Ha! Unlike them, I have a Feather.
Bowser jumps, but can't get over the pipe.
Bowser: Oh no! They made the pipe too big!
Bowser crashes into the pipe and starts to fall.
Mario: Woah, good thing I saved this Magic Feather.
Mario does a normal jump to land on Bowser and then uses his Feather to get over the pipe.
Mario: Ha ha, see you at the finish line Bowser.
Meanwhile, Yoshi and the other racers reach the Piranha Plant and pipe trap.
Yoshi: Mmm, Yoshi hungry.
Yoshi sees a blue Koopa Troopa and eats it, thus getting wings.
Yoahi: Mmm, saltsa.
Yoshi flies over the pipe.
Goomba: And hear comes Lakitu to remove the pipe and Piranhas.
Lakitu removes the pipe and Piranha Plants and Toad, Koopa Troopa, and Peach (who can recover quickly) drive past, followed by Luigi, with Bowser and DK Jr. bringing up the rear. Here are the current positions:
1st: Mario
2nd: Yoshi
3rd: Koopa Troopa
4th: Toad
5th: Peach
6th: Luigi
7th: Bowser
8th: DK Jr.
Wendy: IGGY, THAT WAS A STUPID IDEA, NOW KING DAD'S GOING TO LOSE!!!
Iggy: But-
Wendy; NO BUT'S!
Larry: We'd better think of something or King Dad's gonna lose.
The scene switches to where Bowser's racing.
Bowser: Wait a minute, I still have those power-ups Roy gave me, heh heh heh.
Bowser uses the Starman.
Bowser: Look out Luigi! Heh heh.
Luigi: What? Woah!
Luigi slips into seventh.
Bowser: Hi Peach.
Peach: Oh no, what do you want?
Bowser: This!
Bowser sends Peach into sixth.
Bowser: Toad! Look out!!
Toad: What, where? Uh oh.
Bowser sends Toad flying into fifth as his invincibility wears off.
Bowser: Drat, Boo, attack the Dino Dweeb.
Boo attacks Yoshi.
Yoshi: Oh no, Yoshi hate ghosts.
Boo: Booooooo!
Yoshi falls into fourth. Here are the current standings:
1st: Mario
2nd: Koopa Troopa
3rd: Bowser
4th: Yoshi
5th: Toad
6th: Peach
7th: Luigi
8th: DK Jr.
Bowser: Oh no! We're coming up to the finish line and I'm fresh out of power-ups! ... Or maybe I'm not.
Bowser picks up Koopa Troopa.
Koopa Troopa: Hey, what's going on?
Bowser: Relax, this is for a good cause.
Bowser throws Koopa Troopa at Mario.
Mario: Mama mia!
Mario falls into third while Bowser and Koopa Troopa are in first and second.
Goomba: And Bowser crosses the finish line! Bowser wins this race, so join us tomorrow when we race in Donut Plains.
Iggy: Alright, King Dad won!
Ludwig: Yes, but this is just one race, so let's go to Donut Plains and trap it.
Koopalings: Okay!
Finishing Places:
1st: Bowser
2nd: Koopa Troopa
3rd: Mario
4th: Yoshi
5th: Toad
6th: Peach
7th: Luigi
8th: DK Jr.
Current Standings:
Bowser: 9 points
Koopa Troopa: 5 points
Mario: 3 points
Yoshi: 1 point
Toad: 0 points
Peach: 0 points
Luigi: 0 points
DK Jr: 0 points
To Be Continued...
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