Round 1 (64): Part 2
Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome to the second
part of the first round of Mario Madness, the first tournament of
the sixty-four players split up into four brackets of sixteen players each with sixty-three matches-
Roy: I hate when he speaks in all those numbers. In other words, welcome back!
Crazy Packers Fan: Exactly. Anyway, weíve got it cut down to 48 players, and weíre going to the SMB3 Minions bracket next! Our first match: #1 Tony vs #16 Goomba!
Tony: What a match-up!
Crazy Packers Fan: I know. But thatís a typical first-round match-up. Anyway, the contest is a race going through the Mushroom Kingdom course of Super Smash Bros. Meleeís Adventure Mode!
Goomba: Oh boy.
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Since both racers are extremely slow,
the race takes a long time. In fact, so long that Crazy Packers Fan
decides to move on to another match in the waiting time.
Crazy Packers Fan: While weíre waiting for that to finish, letís waste no time in having our battle between #8 Spiny vs #9 Spiny Cheep Cheep!
Lakitu: I wonder who set up that match?
Crazy Packers Fan: This match is simple: just avoid the flow of the green Spiny Eggs that Lakitu is shooting at you. The first one to get hit loses! Ready... go!
Since Spiny Cheep Cheep swims deep underwater in a small lake nearby underneath a piece of coral, she canít get hit by any of the annoying spiked balls, while one of the Eggs eventually rolls into Spiny.
Spiny Cheep Cheep: I won?
Crazy Packers Fan: Yes. That first match is still not finished, so letís move on to our next match: #5 Boom Boom vs #12 Stretch!
Boom Boom: Letís go!
Crazy Packers Fan: This match will determine how well you know the bracket. Two correct answers win. Who won the match between Mechakoopa and Magikoopa?
Crazy Packers Fan: Wrong! Boom Boom?
Crazy Packers Fan: Wrong! Next question. What seed number is Yoshi?
Crazy Packers Fan: Wrong! Boom Boom?
Crazy Packers Fan: Wrong! Boy, are you two stupid idiots! Now try to get one right for a change! How many losers are in this tournament?
Stretch: Define ďlosersĒ.
Crazy Packers Fan: I guess thatís kind of opinionated. How many characters are in this tournament?
Stretch: Oh, thatís easy! 67!
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh brother. Boom Boom?
Boom Boom: You know what, I donít even care. I just want to go home and play my Nintendo 64.
Crazy Packers Fan: Thatís right! Just like Mario, you accidentally got one right! Now for the next question. What round are we in?
Stretch and Boom Boom together: Third!
Crazy Packers Fan: What was that?
Stretch: I said it first!
Crazy Packers Fan: Thatís right, the first round! Luck or not, itís a 1-1 tie, and hereís the game-winner. Which Koopaling is not in this tournament?
Stretch: Rocky Wrench!
Crazy Packers Fan: Thatís a sad answer.
Not only is Rocky Wrench not a Koopaling, heís in the tournament
anyhow! Boom Boom?
Boom-Boom: Uh, um, I canít think of his name right now. Just give me some more-
Crazy Packers Fan: More what?
Boom-Boom: More... more... oh, I forget what I was saying. Iíll never be a great speaker like Morton.
Crazy Packers Fan: All you out there watching this knew this would happen. Thatís right, Morton is the answer, and you get the win!
Boom Boom: All right!
Crazy Packers Fan: Is that race over yet? I guess not, so letís have another match in the meantime: #4 Hammer vs #13 Hot Foot!
Hammer: Some battle.
Crazy Packers Fan: This battle will be outlasting fireballs from a Fire Chomp and then avoiding its explosion. If you do not get hit but your opponent does, you win! Go!
The Fire Chomp fires at Hammer, who is ducking into his shell and wonít get hurt. Then it fires at Hot Foot, who is made of fire and isnít hurt. Finally, it explodes, but both duck out of the way and survive the blast.
Hot Foot: I guess weíre going to have to do it again.
But as the Fire Chomp goes flying from its own explosion, it hits the small lake Spiny Cheep Cheep was swimming in, and it causes some water to splash out and hit Hot Foot, knocking him over.
Hot Foot: Help! Help! Call the waterfighter! Help me! Iím on water!
Crazy Packers Fan: Hammer wins!
Hammer: All right!
Crazy Packers Fan: Now to check in on that race... Uh oh.
Goomba is leading Tony by two Troopa-lengths
on the final trail to the goal. Just then, Tony jumps in his
shell and pulls his arm out of his shell with a hammer, and hammers himself forward, past the Goomba and across the finish line.
Crazy Packers Fan: Tony wins! On to our next battle... #3 Fiery vs #14 Big Bertha!
Big Bertha: Here comes an upset!
Crazy Packers Fan: It would be a major upset for you to beat the third seed in your bracket, but I canít see it happening. This match is a throwback to the old Mario Party mini-game Skateboard Scamper, but Big Bertha will be underwater and Fiery overwater, both with a skateboard with propellor motors, with Big Berthaís being more powerful to make up for being underwater. It has been tested by Ludwig to be fair. Get to the other side of the stream before the other to win! Ready, set, go!
Fiery: This should be a piece of cake... I hope.
Big Bertha gets off to an early lead,
but Fiery comes back and is all ready for the celebration when a Boss
Bass jumps out and knocks Fiery off his skateboard.
But at the same time, an underwater
Jelectro has stunned Big Bertha, allowing Fiery enough time to swim
back to his skateboard.
Fiery: Hey, I donít know how to swim!
GOOSH! Fiery goes under, but ends up
landing on Big Berthaís skateboard, as she was knocked off it as
well. He crosses the underwater finish line to win!
Crazy Packers Fan: That was exciting! Congratulations, Fiery, for your excellent victory!
Fiery: Thank you, thank you!
Crazy Packers Fan: On to our next round: #6 Roto Disc vs #11 Jelectro!
Crazy Packers Fan: And this will be an all-out brawl between you two, no holds barred! Ready... go!
Roto Disc simply passes through Jelectro, and neither can even touch each other.
Roy: Ho-hum. Iím glad I donít have these two in the Boxing Ring.
Crazy Packers Fan: Just wait. This should get good soon.
Jelectro tries sending out electric waves, but they canít touch Roto Disc. It is a complete stalemate.
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, maybe not...
Finally, Roto Disc spins so much that the orb it circles around falls, right on Jelectro, knocking him woozy.
Crazy Packers Fan: Roto Disc wins!
Roto Disc celebrates by getting back around its circle again.
Crazy Packers Fan: Wow. What a character. Yippee. Now on to our next-to-last match of the SMB3 Minions bracket: #7 Thwomp vs #10 Rocky Wrench!
Rocky Wrench: What is it?
Crazy Packers Fan: Itís a sort-of aiming
contest. Both of you must be on this sheet of ice. Then Thwomp
slides towards that target, trying to get center on it, while Rocky throws a wrench at his target, trying to get it in the bulls eye. Ready? Go!
Thwomp starts sliding towards the target,
while Rocky misfires and hits one of the top sections of the big
Rocky: Rats! Wait a minute...
Rocky runs over to Thwomp and tries
to push him away from the target. Unfortunately for him, he gets poked
by one of Thwompís thorns and Thwomp is able to hit the target cleanly.
Crazy Packers Fan: Thwomp wins!
Crazy Packers Fan: Now time for the
final match of the SMB3 Minions section of the bracket! Itís #2 Boomer
vs #15 Koopa Troopa!
Boomer: Iím ready!
Koopa Troopa: Okay!
Crazy Packers Fan: This is a simple
little game. Itís the classic Goomba Stomp. Jump on the first Goombaís
head and keep on hopping down the line of Goombas. Whoever makes it farther before touching the ground
wins! Youíre first, Koopa Troopa!
Koopa Troopa starts jumping across the Goombas when he suddenly thinks of an idea. Quickly, he gets in his shell and blazes through the rest of the Goombas, while staying in mid-air with his quick speed.
Crazy Packers Fan: Thatís all 100 for Koopa Troopa! Your turn, Boomer!
Boomer: He can sort-of cheat, so I will too!
Boomer throws a boomerang as hard as he possibly can. His shot goes through all the Goombas and comes back to him.
Boomer: Iím ready for overtime!
Crazy Packers Fan: Actually, there wonít even be overtime.
Boomer: Why not?
Crazy Packers Fan: Since you were on
the ground the whole time, you get zero points and are disqualified!
Koopa Troopa is the winner, being the lowest seed to win a match and pulling off the biggest upset of the
tournament so far!
Koopa Troopa: Yay! *makes the sound that he makes in Mario Party*
Crazy Packers Fan: So thatís it for
the SMB3 Minions round! Now for our best round of all, the Super Koopas
round! Roy and Larry will join me as commentators here about these special competitors.
Crazy Packers Fan, Roy, and Larry are sitting at a table like normal sports broadcasters.
Crazy Packers Fan: So who do you think is a clear favorite to run the table to get to the Final Four, Roy?
Roy: Well, youíve got the #1 seed in
Misty Koopa, whose got a lot of fan support, but you canít find a
clearer favorite than #3 Lord Seth!
Crazy Packers Fan: But youíre just saying that because heís your second-favorite tourist, right?
Roy: He is, behind you, of course, but thatís not why. Heís got invincibility skills and a lot of secret weapons he can pull on his opponents. I expect a good run from him.
Crazy Packers Fan: Larry, who are your favorites?
Larry: Well, I think that #5 Rachelle
is certainly one to watch out for, as once she gets going, she could be
unstoppable. But you canít look past #2 Husky/Washu for more depth in a line-up, the only one with two on
Crazy Packers Fan: True. Do you two see any wild cards?
Roy: Well, you canít forget about #9 Lil Cheep Cheep. Sure, heís against Smash, but he could do some damage in this tournament if you donít watch out.
Larry: My sleeper pick is #10 Sandslash.
A sleeper is a pick who can surprise everyone, and Sandslash wants
revenge on most of these Super Koopas from the Mushroom Games. I wouldnít be surprised if he makes a
spirited and emotional run to the top.
Crazy Packers Fan: Any early exits?
Larry: Well, this is tough, and Iím not saying this for sure, but Iíve got to say that #6 Arim will have his hands full.
Roy: You know, I think the early surprise exit may be made by #2 Husky/Washu, but I donít know for sure.
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay. Letís go to our first match, #1 Misty Koopa vs #16 Lakitu 2000!
Lakitu 2000: Why am I the lowest seed?
Crazy Packers Fan: Hey, be happy you
have a seed, as there are others out there who didnít get in this
thing. Now you two will love this challenge. You both seem to have a RPG you like a lot, Mistyís Pokémon and Lakitu 2000ís Final Fantasy. So pick one of your characters to fight!
Misty: Iíll choose the unstoppable Cyndaquil!
Lakitu 2000: Uh, this is tough. Iíll surprise them by choosing the cute Rikku!
Roy: This is scaring me. You let these characters in this stadium?
Crazy Packers Fan: No. These are actually
robots built by Ludwig, but they do the trick. Okay, you two, start
Misty: Cyndaquil, use Fire Blast!
Lakitu 2000: Hey, why does she get to go-
Lakitu: (looking at a pile of wrecked robotic pieces) -first. This isnít fair! I demand a rematch!
Crazy Packers Fan: Sorry, no rematches in Mario Madness. Larry, are you surprised at all by this outcome?
Larry: I really honestly thought that a Final Fantasy character would put up more fight than that, especially since thatís a Poké Gold character and youíre around, but obviously it wasnít enough for Lakitu 2000. Now heís got to start training all over again for next time.
Roy: Iíll agree, those losses are so harsh.
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, weíre on to our next excellent battle: #8 Smash vs #9 Lil Cheep Cheep! Any thoughts, Roy?
Roy: Yeah. Smash has the strength, and
certainly LCC is at a disadvantage in the size category. But who
knows in these battles?
Crazy Packers Fan: This is the good
old Mario Party mini-game Tightrope Treachery! Ludwig, Lemmy, and
Morton are down there shooting cannonballs up. Smash is first!
Smash: Iíve got to show this Packer up after that insult of Pokémon Gold some time ago.
Smash starts on his way across the rope, but he takes only two steps when Lemmy hits him with a cannonball, causing him to plummet into Lemmyís little ship.
Smash: Lemmy! You moron! I thought we were friends!
Lemmy: Iíve got to be fair!
Crazy Packers Fan: Ouch! Tough one for Smash! Will LCC do better, Larry?
Larry: You canít do worse than that!
Lil Cheep Cheep: Time to pull off the upset.
Lil Cheep Cheep avoids blasts from Ludwig, who for some reason is all out after him. He is two inches from the finish line when he is finally hit by Ludwig.
Lil Cheep Cheep: YEOW!!!
However, on the way down, Lemmy blasts a cannonball, and he bounces off it back up into the air.
Crazy Packers Fan: We all expected this, didnít we?
But Lil Cheep Cheep misses the rope and plunges into the water!
Crazy Packers Fan: Maybe not...
Roy: Does this mean overtime?
Larry: I think...
Crazy Packers Fan: You bet on it! This overtime is simple. The first one of them back up here to touch our table wins. But they donít know that. While weíre waiting for them, letís go to our next match: #5 Rachelle vs #12 Ludwig 222!
Larry: Hmm, I canít see a clear-cut favorite here.
Roy: Oh, my pick here is Rachelle. I donít know if sheíll be beat for a while.
Crazy Packers Fan: Weíll see. Rachelleís
a Ludwig fan, but sheís up against one of the many tourists who has
taken the name or part of the name of a Koopaling, and heís named after Ludwig. This battle will test your
jumping skills, as youíll have to jump from Donut Lift to Donut Lift and try to survive. Ready? Go!
Rachelle gets off to an early lead, as Birdos are faster than Koopas, but she stands on a Donut Lift too long, which causes her to drop to a lower lift and lose time.
Ludwig 222: I hope these jumps arenít too high, because I canít get the height!
Rachelle: Iím hoping for no long jumps, because I have trouble with the distance.
The two of them get to the last stretch: a straight line of Donut Lifts to the finish. They are both exactly even with each other as they race for the finish line.
Crazy Packers Fan: This should be an exciting finish! Letís see who will win...
The two cross the finish line at the exact same time, at least to anyone elseís perspective.
Crazy Packers Fan: Weíll need a photo finish!
Roy and Larry look over the photo.
Crazy Packers Fan: The vote!
Larry: Ludwig 222.
Crazy Packers Fan: Arrrgh, I knew it! They split! Now Iíll have to take a look!
After a few minutes...
Crazy Packers Fan: This is maddening! I canít tell a difference between them!
Iggy: Let me see!
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay, go ahead.
Iggy: Rachelleís the winner! But now youíve got to pay me a taco.
Crazy Packers Fan: Here you go. Rachelle wins!
Rachelle: Phew! That was close.
Ludwig 222: You know I won!
Crazy Packers Fan: Sorry, but since
Rachelle was ruled the winner, she is the winner! On to our next match:
#4 Ellie Marie Koopa vs #13 Simon! Any picks?
Larry: I donít know who this Simon is!
Roy: I donít think Ellie can win a battle.
Crazy Packers Fan: Picks, not insults, you two! I donít want to take heat over this! Now on to the match. This is a simple tug of war over a pit of lava. Ready, set, go!
Simon has more strength, but since thereís
more of the rope on Ellieís side, she gets more time to pull. This
puts Simon on the edge of the lava, hoping he can pull it off.
Simon: Come on, this canít be that hard...
Simon gives a huge tug, which gets himself out of trouble. All of a sudden, conveyor belts appear beneath them and start to push them towards the lava.
Ellie: This was tough enough already!
Finally, a Podoboo shoots out from the
lava and breaks the rope, sending both players towards the lava. Simon
is able to get just a little bit of friction between his feet and the conveyor
belt, allowing him to enter
the lava pool after Ellie.
Crazy Packers Fan: Simon wins!
Both go running out of the lava and jump in the nearby lake.
Crazy Packers Fan: Iíve got to give Wario a hand for putting all this nice stuff in his stadium. Anyway, Simon has won, and weíre on to our next match... which is... Roy?
Roy: #3 Lord Seth vs-
Larry: #14 Mewd!
Crazy Packers Fan: Thatís right. Now for this-
Smash comes running over to Crazy Packers Fan.
Smash: Who won that competition anyway?
Crazy Packers Fan: Which one?
Smash: The one I was in!
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh, that one?
Smash still has not touched the table.
Crazy Packers Fan: It hasnít been decided yet.
Lil Cheep Cheep comes jumping over to Crazy Packers Fan and jumps on to the table.
Lil Cheep Cheep: Who won?
Crazy Packers Fan: You just did!
Lil Cheep Cheep: All right!
Smash: What the heck?!
Crazy Packers Fan: Now time for that battle. This one is a simple game of tag. Both players have one Goomba to hold, and one must hit the other with his Goomba before getting hit by his opponent to win. Ready? Go!
Mewd throws his Goomba right away at Lord Seth.
Mewd: Perfect aim!
But at the last second, Lord Seth teleports away.
Lord Seth appears behind Mewd and nails him hard with the Goomba.
Lord Seth: I hate when people mess up my name like that!
Crazy Packers Fan: It doesnít matter! The winner is-
Roy: Lord Seth, my second-favorite tourist!
Crazy Packers Fan: So on to our next battle! It is #6 Arim vs #11 Da Real Kooky! This is simple: all you have to do is pull the right item out of the item chest 100 yards in front of you. Iíll give you a hint about the item, and then you must race to get it. The hint is: useless in Pipe Land but still causes a change. Go!
Both race down to the chest and pull out an item.
Crazy Packers Fan: Da Real Kooky, what do you have?
Da Real Kooky: Iíve got a hammer!
Crazy Packers Fan: Iím sorry, thatís wrong, because the hammer does not cause any change. Arim?
Arim: Iíve got a Music Box!
Crazy Packers Fan: Thatís right! A Music Box changes the music, although there are no Hammer Brothers to use it on. You win!
Da Real Kooky: Iíd like to file a protest... argh...
Roy: You were wrong, Larry, Arim didnít have any trouble!
Larry: Well, wait until Husky/Washu wins!
Crazy Packers Fan: Time for #7 Richard vs #10 Sandslash! This is a simple vine-climbing race. Whoever reaches the top first wins! Ready, go!
Since Richard is faster, he is able to get up to a lead, but of course Sandslash comes back. Richard finally falls behind Sandslash and all looks lost. Just then, Sandslash reaches over and slashes Richardís vine, causing him to go flying all the way down to the ground onto a trampoline. Sandslash then reaches the top.
Richard: Thatís not fair! What do you say, Crazy Packers Fan?
Roy: Silence please.
Larry: And a drumroll, too.
Crazy Packers Fan: Sandslash wins! Sorry, Richard!
Richard: Thatís wrong.
Crazy Packers Fan: Time for our final
match of the first round: #2 Husky/Washu vs #15 Olivia Koopa! All
you do is jump from Autobomb to Autobomb trying to make it to the finish line first. Ready, go!
Husky takes one Autobomb and Washu takes another. At the same time, Olivia makes a whole bunch of jumps, getting her closer and closer to the goal. Then Washu gets lucky and her Autobomb rolls her to the finish line.
Washu: I win!
Crazy Packers Fan: No, you still need Husky to cross too.
Olivia nears the finish line at the same time Husky is coming, but it looks like itís too late for Olivia.
CRASH! Their Autobombs crash, but one of them crosses the finish line.
Crazy Packers Fan: Husky/Washu wins, as Husky has crossed the finish line too!
Crazy Packers Fan: So that should wrap
it up for this week! Weíre down to 32, and it will heat up even more
as each player wants to make it to the Sweet Sixteen! Until then, for Roy and Larry, Iím Crazy Packers Fan,
saying so long for now!