Lemmy, Clown Prince: This is it. The strategy worked well enough for me to make it all the way to the end.
Crazy Packers Fan: In other words, everyone
in the game decided to quit playing around Day 10, the others
were too stupid to realize that you
were using them to help you go that far, then you used your position as
the owner of this site to make your
way to the top.
Arim, Goomba-Hater: I really knew I was going to make it this far, I just didn't act like it for a while.
Crazy Packers Fan: In other words, you weren't even planning on making it to the merge, but things fell into place, you got into an alliance, and you're still on this island today because of Lemmy knowing everyone else in the jury hates you.
Roy: Hey, do you really think it's a good idea to tell the blatant truth like this, to all these viewers who actually think these players were honest?
Crazy Packers Fan: Let's be like the
CBS Survivor. Let's get everyone to hate a certain character, then
make them win. Hey, it's worked for
four seasons, going on five!
Roy: Can we push Lemmy into the fire
on purpose, so it will be an exciting ending, just like in the Survivor
2 of CBS?
Crazy Packers Fan: No, that wouldn't be good.
Roy: Why not?
Crazy Packers Fan: You've got to use
a Bob-omb on him while stuffing him in a Porcupo hole if you want to
get viewers!
Roy: Oh... right.
Lemmy: Can we destroy some stuff since it's our last day here?
Crazy Packers Fan: Actually, we have some better destruction prepared. Wart is here as out guest.
Wart: Hey, everybody!
Crazy Packers Fan: Wart will set off
a time bomb that will completely destroy Sub-con Park Island for good,
and finally end the madness that has
gone on here. He wants his ruined creation of mechanical Sub-conians to
be destroyed forever. That way, we'll never have to hear from this place
again.
Arim: Aren't we going to get out of here in time?
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh, trust me, you will.
Lemmy: What can be explosive enough to ruin this island?
Crazy Packers Fan: A bunch of Sub-con
Park-sized Bob-ombs, of course. They would be placed into
Videogamerpat's army, but I was too
afraid for the future of Plit, so I hid them from him. Fortunately, I made
sure Videogamerpat would be busy today, so he wouldn't see this.
Videogamerpat (holding the camera): I'm busy, all right.
Roy: By the way, will the jury members be with us tonight?
Crazy Packers Fan: I hope so, but you never know.
Arim: Can't we have one final reward challenge?
Crazy Packers Fan: What, to win a grain of sand?
Arim: I'll take it!
Crazy Packers Fan: Don't be ridiculous. What could it be useful for?
Arim: Maybe making Lemmy sneeze?
Crazy Packers Fan: You're crazy!
Arim: No, you are.
Crazy Packers Fan: Don't start one of those first-grade fights, here.
Arim: No, you really are crazy.
Crazy Packers Fan: Am I?
Arim: I think so.
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay, so you're right. Not like I care, of course.
Arim: Right.
Crazy Packers Fan: Anyway, let's waste some more time...
Lemmy: Let's not.
Crazy Packers Fan: What, do you want me to blow the thing up right now?
Arim: Sure!
Lemmy: Why not?
Crazy Packers Fan: Fine, but we'll need to escape through a warp jar before the 10-minute time limit.
Roy: I have a potion... there's the correct warp jar... all systems go.
Crazy Packers Fan: Wart, you hit the controls for setting it off, then enter the door and escape through the warp jar. We'll be heading to the Mass Massacre, wherever it is.
Wart: All right, here goes nothing!
Roy throws out the potion, and the two
players, Crazy Packers Fan, Roy, and the lone cameraman (named
Videogamerpat) go through the door.
They all jump into the jar as fast they can. Only problem...
Roy: OUCH!!!
Crazy Packers Fan: Wrong jar, moron!
Videogamerpat: My camera!
Crazy Packers Fan: Wait! There's the jar! Get to it before time runs-
Subspace runs out.
Crazy Packers Fan: -out. Now we're stuck.
Wart: Look, mommy, I push this button!
Crazy Packers Fan: You didn't.
Wart: Yes, me did! Wart push this button!
Roy: Cut the Yoshi talk and let's find another escape route... too bad we don't have a potion.
Arim: Then how can we get out of here?
Lemmy: How about some Albatosses?
Crazy Packers Fan: Good idea. Let's find some Albatosses, and we'll be out of here!
Too bad no Albatosses come.
Crazy Packers Fan: Let me check those controls... 8 and 1/2 minutes. Wow.
Arim: That's just great.
Lemmy: Let's not just sit here! There's
a way out. Find some Trouters, and we can use them to jump across
the sea, perhaps to some other little
island.
Roy: Maybe that will work.
Too bad no Trouters come out of the water.
Crazy Packers Fan: 6 minutes, 24 seconds.
Arim: Wait! How about swimming?
Roy: Go ahead.
Arim: Oops, I forgot, no swimming in Sub-con.
Crazy Packers Fan: 5 minutes, 43 seconds.
Lemmy: I've had it with your laziness.
I'm finding a way out. Maybe there's a piece of grass with a potion,
where we can find a warp jar to get
out of here.
Arim: Or maybe there's a warp pipe, there for no reason whatsoever.
Roy: I guess there's no harm in looking.
5 minutes later...
Lemmy: No potions.
Arim: No warp pipes.
Roy: Harm in looking... my arm got bit by a Cobrat... ouch.
Crazy Packers Fan: With only about 30
seconds to go, I don't know what way of escape there is, but we have
the fortunateness of being the stars
of the show, and everyone wants to find out who the winner will be.
Roy: Hey, wait, is that a warp pipe over there?!
Arim: It is! Run for it!
Everyone runs for the warp pipe, when Crazy Packers Fan checks the time one last time.
Crazy Packers Fan: 3... 2... 1... huh? It didn't blow up!
Roy: Just get in!
Crazy Packers Fan: Your plan is a failure, Wart.
Wart: I guess it is.
Crazy Packers Fan (jumping into the pipe with the rest): I guess I can throw these controls away...
BOOM!!!
Crazy Packers Fan (looking up from the pipe, which is a dead end): Oh no! Even worse than an explosion!
Roy: We've just blasted the island towards Grass Land!
Wart: I wish this were all a nightmare! Why did I even try to make this place?
Arim: Wake up!
Wart: Phew! I thought this really did happen!
Arim: It did.
Wart: Don't tell me you were joking me.
Arim: I was joking you.
Wart: Warts!
Arim: Warts?
Roy: That's it, I've had it with the stupid dialogue. Somehow, we're in Grass Land, and I don't know how that happened.
Crazy Packers Fan: Fortunately, Grass Land is the place where the final Mass Massacre will be held.
Roy: What a coincidence!
Crazy Packers Fan: Actually, it's no coincidence, I just decided that right now.
Roy: How will you get the jury members here?
Crazy Packers Fan: They're already here!
The other jury members pop out of Shy Guy suits, while Videogamerpat hands his camera to Stupid Cameraman.
Crazy Packers Fan: Now that the cheesiness is over, let's have a potion. Anyone have one?
Of course, no one has a potion.
Crazy Packers Fan: How are we going to have the scary atmosphere?
Roy: Let's not have that, let's just have it right here, right now.
Crazy Packers Fan: First, we need Larry.
Roy: Why him?
An hour later, Larry arrives.
Crazy Packers Fan: Good, Larry's here, now, at least. Larry will be giving his commentary with Roy.
Roy: Right, I guess.
Crazy Packers Fan: All right, this hasn't started until we get the nice subtitle...
Mass Massacre
Crazy Packers Fan: That's better.
Roy: So, who will win tonight?
Larry: You've got to go with Arim, the underdog. People hate him for stupid reasons, and that makes him perfectly qualified to be a Survivor winner!
Roy: Lemmy's going to win, as much as
I hate it. First of all, the jury hates him because he played the game
well. Second of all, some jury members
don't know who Arim is. Third, Lemmy paid Crazy Packers Fan off with Koopaling
votes if he would fix the immunity so he would win.
Larry: He did not.
Roy: He did too! Just ask him!
Larry: You're making things up, Roy!
Roy: I'm telling the truth! Anyway, Lemmy has this final vote fixed, too, so don't be surprised if it's 6-1 or 5-2, in his favor! Not that many people hate him, and they all want to kiss up to him because he's the one who posts their stories and gives them Koopaling votes!
Larry: You're off the wall, Roy!
Roy: I don't lie... that often.
Larry: Look, you're just trying to keep viewers, because everyone knows Arim will win.
Roy: You're the crazy one here! If Crazy
was smart, he'd fix the votes but keep the same winner. He's not
smart, of course, so he's letting them
actually truthfully vote. Arim will lose by at least three votes, maybe
five. It will not be close, and Arim will not win. If you're reading this,
Arim, too bad! You lost! Ha ha!
Larry: Don't insult Arim.
Roy: I don't hate Arim at all, but he lost, and I like rubbing it in.
Larry: Because you always lose.
Roy: You're always on my team, and that's why I lose!
Larry: Who went further in the Survivor Trimming?
Roy: Who went further in Mario Madness?
Larry: I played up against Daisy, Packers Fan's favorite!
Roy: No excuse losing to a girl!
Crazy Packers Fan: All right, all right, what does this have to do with Survivor 3?
Larry and Roy: EVERYTHING!!!
Crazy Packers Fan: Right...
Videogamerpat: Aren't we going to ask them questions?
Crazy Packers Fan: Yeah, you will, in
fact, right now. Go ahead and ask your questions, starting with
Rachelle, going in a semi-random order.
Rachelle: Well, well... So we meet again.
Congrats! There's no real wrong answer for my question, so just answer
truthfully. You've both come a long way... Was there any one thing you
did along the way
that you felt bad about doing? Or,
if you can't think of anything, is there anything you feel others might
have seen as traitorous or uncalled for? And would you change it now if
you could?
Arim: Well, sometime when we merged, Lord Seth emailed me telling me that he knew the big Koopa Mass alliance had five members. He asked me if I was the one that wasn't in that alliance so that I would go with the Troopa alliance. I consulted with Lemmy about how to respond, and Lemmy suggested telling him that I wasn't in any alliance and that I would join their alliance. Well, I did that, but actually voted with Koopa alliance. Lord Seth saw that as extremely traitorous and evil. He totally hates me now. I'm sad about that, however, I think it's only a game and that he shouldn't take it so seriously, so I sincerely don't think I did anything evil.
Lemmy: I don't feel bad about anything
I did, as I feel anything is fair play in a game like this. However,
early in the game I did some things
that could definitely be viewed as traitorous. I told King 27 I was voting
for Misty, when in reality I was voting for him, and encouraged him to
do the same. Later, I told Misty I was voting for Videogamerpat, when I
was really voting for her. This was done to ensure that my alliance would
go into the merge with as few votes as possible, so that we could win a
potential tiebreaker. Again, this is just a game, and I know that I would
not hold any similar moves against anyone.
Koshi: I assume you two know about the four primal elements, Fire, Earth, Water, and Air. Which one do you think best fits your personality and why? Which one do you think best fits your opponent and why? Also, which do you think you are, Yin or Yang?
Arim: Hmm, that's a tough question. Maybe air. Why? Because when I think about fire, I think about attack. When I think about earth I think about defense. When I think about water I think about healing, and when I think about air I think about speed. What I just said probably sounds extremely illogical, but I like speed more. Water probably suits Lemmy more, because he is the ruler of Ice Land and likes icy things. Um, I consider myself yin.
Lemmy: This would be a much easier question
for me if ice was a choice. I'm tempted to say water because it turns into
ice, but I'm going to say air. Air is subtle, it's there but you can't
see it, and I think I'm a lot like that, quiet but effective. It definitely
worked like that in the game. As for Arim, I think I'd have to call him
water... he's calm and collected, and
you know what to expect... but once in a while you get a surprise. Sorry,
I don't know what yin and yang mean.
Lord Seth: Which of the following is NOT a ship in Escape Velocity Override: Scoutship, Turncoat, Arada, Azdara, Igazdra, Crescent Warship, UE Destroyer, Voinian Frigate, Emalgha Warship, Zidara, Lazira, UE Carrier, Zidagar Battleship, Voinian Dreadnought, Miranu Gunship, Helian, Azdagari Warship, or Krait?
Arim: I have absolutely no idea since I've never played or seen that game. I'll just take a wild guess. I say Krait.
Lemmy: Well, at least this isn't as random as pick a number. I'm going to guess Zidara, but I really have no idea. If Arim gets this right and earns a vote because of it, all the power to him.
Simon: Why should I vote for you?
Arim: Hmm, because I want to win, because Lemmy has a lot of fame already, and because he doesn't need those votes.
Lemmy: You should vote for me if you feel that I've played the game the best. I think Arim and I are both good people, but perhaps I used a little more strategy and earned my spot here a little more. I'd like to add that, although I won four immunities in a row, I was never concerned about being voted off, and do not believe that I made it here on the basis of those immunities. In fact, I only tried for the last one, all the others were just incidental.
Videogamerpat: Bob-ombs or Porcupos, which is better?
Arim: Well, let's see, Porcupos cannot be picked up because of their spikes, Bob-ombs can be picked up. Bob-ombs help Mario by blowing up walls that he can't normally destroy, however, they destroy the floor in world 7-1 of Sub-con, I believe, which spells trouble sometimes. It's better to have an army of Bob-ombs than an army of Porcupos when storming a fortress. I think Bob-ombs are better, besides, they appear in many games, unlike Porcupo.
Lemmy: Bob-ombs.
Vapor: Well, I'll make this a quick question, because I have an Interview to get to. By the way, do either of you have the time? Wait! No! That's not my-
Stupid Cameraman focuses the camera on Lemmy and Arim.
Arim: The time according to my clock is 2:40 central.
Lemmy: My desk clock says it's 9:13, my computer clock says it's 10:28. The real time is 10:14, I believe.
Guest256: If you could pick one person besides yourself you'd want to win, and one you'd want not to win, who would those be?
Arim: I'm fine if who wins it deserves it. But I probably wouldn't want King 27 and all of those unknown people to win.
Lemmy: Since I feel that the winner
should be whoever used the most strategy, I would say that Lord Seth deserved
to win. He appeared to be leading his alliance, and also would have won
a bunch of immunites for
his good submissions. He's also a pretty
nice guy, so I'd be surprised if anyone voted him off for personal reasons.
He's out there rather than with me because he was on the wrong team. If
he were on my team, he'd either have lost in the very early stages, or
he'd be here in my place. On the same token, I don't want a person to win
if they showed no interest in playing strategically, especially if this
person also felt they deserved to win. While I don't mean to offend, and
while I appreciate her many submissions, I would have to say that Misty
did not deserve to win. She did nothing to get herself alligned with anyone,
yet she clearly felt she deserved to win... not a good attitude for this
game.
Crazy Packers Fan: So, all the questions
have been answered... it's time to make fun of all the people in
Survivor 3!
Roy: That's not in the script.
Crazy Packers Fan: It's not? Rats. Well, I guess you can vote, then, but only if you really want to.
Larry: Vote or else!
Crazy Packers Fan: Also, remember: You're voting for who to win, not who to lose.
Larry plays his own version of the Tribal Council music... whistling on blades of grass.
Guest256 goes to vote.
Guest256, Spiky Rock: Bob-omb fans, eh? You just have no appreciation for Porcupos... they're the true heroes but their credit was "stolen" by the Bob-ombs. As much as I'm a little angry with both the final two with their answer for that particular question, I vote for Arim to win.
Koshi goes to vote.
Koshi, Fruit Freak: Hmm.... If I was to describe you two in the terms that you described yourselves and each other, I'd say that you, Arim, would be earth, and you, Lemmy would be water. Arim, I think you'd be earth because you always seem to be silent and still, but when you do speak, you bring in a lot of power, like an earthquake to put it in earth terms. Lemmy, you seem to adapt to change well and go with the flow quite a bit. This is why I think you are water. But I'm not here to describe you two, I'm here to vote on who should be the ultimate Survivor. May the right one prevail.
Lord Seth goes to vote.
Lord Seth, Interviewer Extraordinare:
I'm voting for Lemmy to win, for a variety of reasons. First, he
strategized VERY well, so he really
deserves it, while Arim appeared to only follow his lead. Second, I'm not
very happy with Arim as he lied to me. Now, it's one thing to manipulate
people the way Lemmy did in order to win, but it's quite another to lie
to someone when you don't have to. Arim could've told the truth and if
I SOMEHOW got Videogamerpat to vote with my alliance, the outcome would
have been almost certainly the same. However, if you trick someone in order
to win, that's a little different. So, why lie if you could have told the
truth and still won? Now, I know Lemmy suggested that Arim do that, but
to me there's a world of difference betwen SUGGESTING an action and DOING
it. This is going to be my last chance to say this, but I think it's completely
pathetic to say you're voting for someone for a reason OTHER than why you're
really voting for them. Koshi said he was voting for me because I put Sonic
characters in my stories and he was trying to "vent his anger" but that
has NOTHING to do with his vote. He voted that way because his alliance
decided to, and it has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with Sonic. I think it's
pretty stupid to say things like that. Anyway, I'm voting for Lemmy to
win, even though he can't really use the prize. He out-strategized
everyone, while Arim merely tried to
do what he did. Oh, and for the record, any grudges I had because of this
contest will almost certainly be instantly erased after it's done. I probably
would've done much better if I was on the other mass. The masses were waaaay
too uneven, as I mentioned in my final statement. Oh, and just for the
record, the answer to my question was the Zidagar Battleship, so Lemmy's
guess WAS closer. If Arim had guessed it right, I MIGHT have changed my
vote, but he didn't. Okay, I'd better be quiet before we run out of air
time.
Stupid Cameraman: Whine, whine, whine.
Roy: Want me to fire you?
Stupid Cameraman: No.
Roy: Then stop whining.
Stupid Cameraman: But I'm not whining!
Roy: You're fired!
Larry: That's enough from you two morons... go ahead, Rachelle.
Rachelle goes to vote.
Rachelle, Co-Webmaster: Ahh... I feel
that both players deserve to be where they are now. They both played
they game, and they both managed to hang in there even when it seemed like
other people wanted them gone, even if it was partially due to the alliance,
at least until the end few weeks. But, in the end, the
reason I want this person to win is
partially a personal bias. Hey, they both deserved it... I had to pick
some way.
Simon goes to vote.
Vapor goes to vote.
Videogamerpat goes to vote.
Videogamerpat, Social Outcast: Lemmy,
a great guy, er... turtle, er... I mean Koopa, and a very hard
worker. Even though he's one of those
nasty icky disgusting Koopas... Oh and... BOB-OMBS RULE!!!
Rob-omb goes to vote.
Bob-omb goes to vote.
King Bob-omb goes to vote.
Para-Bomb goes to vote.
Crazy Packers Fan: I'll go tally the votes.
Crazy Packers Fan goes to pick up the votes, not noticing that there are eleven votes, not seven.
Crazy Packers Fan: Once I read the votes... you know the drill. The first vote is for... Videogamerpat.
A few people raise their eyebrows.
Crazy Packers Fan: The second vote is for Videogamerpat.
Lemmy: Huh?
Crazy Packers Fan: Shh! No talking when I'm reading the votes! The third vote is for Videogamerpat. That's three votes Videogamerpat, and he's one away from winning.
Roy: Hey, wait a minute, I think I-
Crazy Packers Fan: Shut up, Roy! The fourth vote is for... Videogamerpat! Videogamerpat wins Survivor 3! Videogamerpat wins the one million coins! Videogamerpat wins the four Koopaling votes! Videogamerpat is the champion!
Videogamerpat: Yes! Thank you to all the Bob-ombs who made this possible! I knew I'd win!
Crazy Packers Fan: So, how did the Bob-ombs make this possible? Emotional support?
Videogamerpat: You could say that... let me get my prize and I'm out of here!
Larry: How can Videogamerpat win if he isn't in the final two?
Crazy Packers Fan: Here's your million coins, Videogamerpat.
Videogamerpat: I'll build a Bob-omb army with this money! Goodbye!
Videogamerpat takes off with the coins and the Bob-ombs.
Crazy Packers Fan: Now what did you say, Larry?
Larry: I said, how can Videogamerpat win if he isn't in the final two? Didn't he already get voted off?
Crazy Packers Fan: Did he?
Everyone nods his or her head yes.
Crazy Packers Fan: So he did. Well, the money's gone, but you can still play for the bragging rights, now. Time for the rest of the votes! The first real vote is for... Lemmy.
Lemmy: No money to win... that's pretty cheap.
Crazy Packers Fan: Too bad! You should have stopped me while you could!
Lemmy: I- oh, never mind.
Crazy Packers Fan: The second real vote is for Arim.
Arim: You don't need to say "real" vote.
Crazy Packers Fan: I know, but anyway... the third vote... Lemmy.
Tension builds...
Roy: Translation: CPF doesn't know what to put in that line, so he just put some false line about tension. Everyone knows Lemmy's going to win!
Crazy Packers Fan: The fourth vote is also for Lemmy!
Roy: See what I mean?
Crazy Packers Fan: Lemmy is one vote away from the championship... but this one's for Arim.
Larry: A huge comeback is needed, and it looks too far away.
Crazy Packers Fan: Before I read this next vote, please let me ask you if you already know who it's for. If you do, then just shout it out right now.
Everyone except Larry: Lemmy!
Crazy Packers Fan: It's too bad, because now it looks like I've fixed the entire tournament. Lemmy wins Survivor 3!
Instead of the usual screams and cheers,
everyone grumbles and moans. Arim doesn't get up and scream
"Yes"; he just sits there and mumbles
something under his breath.
Roy: BOO!!!
Larry: You're right, Roy, it was fixed!
Arim, Goomba-Hater: Come on, how could Lemmy lose? I knew I would lose; it was going to happen.
Lemmy, Clown Prince: This is what I expected, even the not-too-nice response. But, I won, and no one can take that away from me now!
Crazy Packers Fan: I can!
Lemmy: No you can't!
Crazy Packers Fan: If I wanted to, I would, but I'll let you go this time. You win, take your money and go.
Lemmy: Where's the money?
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh, that's right, Videogamerpat gets it. I guess you don't even get any coins. Arim will get his payment of 500,000 coins, though.
Lemmy: How fair is that?
Crazy Packers Fan: And I don't think you get any Koopaling votes, either, so I guess you just won this for nothing. Congratulations!
Lemmy: Wow, I spend 39 days here just to be declared the champion.
Arim: I win the coins!
Roy: Hey, look at this instant replay!
It shows three players being told by the Stupid Cameraman who to vote
for!
Stupid Cameraman: Vote for Lemmy... or I'll blow you up with a Bob-omb!
Simon: Uh... I'll just vote random!
Stupid Cameraman: I'll give this two-tailed coin to Crazy Packers Fan so Lemmy gets your vote no matter what!
Roy: He also duped Vapor and Videogamerpat as well!
Larry: Yeah, you're right, Roy, it's all fixed. I don't know how Lemmy could get away with it, but he did.
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay, clear the set!
It's time for my hour-long discussion of what I REALLY feel about
the players in this game!
Roy: What do you mean by that?
Crazy Packers Fan: You'll get to hear
how sick I am of people complaining and whining at me for losing or for
unfair teams, and how I knew Lemmy's strategy and just laughed at all the
rest of the players as they
stupidly bought into it.
Roy: Well, there's always a better alternative to that...
Crazy Packers Fan: What's that?
Roy: End transmission!
Arim, Goomba-Hater: Hey, wait a minute...
I never had my Bob-omb blown up, so I'm not out of the game yet!
I'm still alive! I never jumped in
the jar! It's not over yet!
Lemmy, Clown Prince: I won, fair and
square, because of strategy, not because of the whole thing being
fixed. Okay, and also because no one
else was smart enough to see me use them as my way to the win.
Videogamerpat, Social Outcast: Bob-ombs rule!
Who voted for who?
Guest256: Arim
Koshi: Lemmy
Lord Seth: Lemmy
Rachelle: Arim
Simon: X (vote goes to Lemmy)
Vapor: Lemmy
Videogamerpat: Lemmy
The End
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