Minion Melee

By Crazy Packers Fan


Crazy Packers Fan: This is the end of Minion Melee, with the winner of today's final challenge becoming
Minion Melee champions! The two teams remaining are Super Mario Bros. 3 and Luigi's Mansion. Before I
explain today's challenge, first let's see who Roy and Larry think will win.

Roy: I'm going to have to pick Luigi's Mansion, just because I want Super Mario Bros. 3 to win, so they'll

Larry: I want Super Mario Bros. 3 to win, too, and I think there's no way these guys can be stopped by ghosts.

Crazy Packers Fan: This challenge is based on Yoshi's Island. What the players must do is collect eggs
around this place, then throw them at their own Navel Piranha. You must be behind this line, which is ten
feet from the Navel Piranhas. The first team to knock out their own Navel Piranha wins!

Rocky Wrench: How do we get eggs?

Crazy Packers Fan: You'll have to "convince" some Shy Guys around here to give them to you.

Angry Sun: That sounds bad. Now we're going to have to talk some Shy Guys into handing us eggs! What a
difficult task! There's no way it can be done!

Stretch: It's possible, however unlikely.

Larry: By the way, Super Mario Bros. 3 finished undefeated, and Luigi's Mansion barely made it into
the playoffs. How then can they beat Super Mario Bros. 3?

Roy: Bad luck.

Crazy Packers Fan: Go!

As Boom Boom walks over to a bunch of Shy Guys, they all run away in fear. He grabs a bunch of the tons of
eggs and hands them to his teammates.

Boom Boom: Let's end this now!

Unfortunately for Boom Boom, the Luigi's Mansion ghosts have also picked up many of the eggs.

Madame Clairvoya: We can claim an upset if we hurry up!

The bad thing for both teams is that none of the players have very good aim.

Angry Sun: I just hit something!

Stretch: You hit me, pal!

Mr. Luggs (standing right behind the line): This is too easy! Watch my throw!

Mr. Luggs throws the egg into the Piranha's mouth.

Neville: Hit his navel, you moron, not his mouth!

An hour of stupidity follows with only Shivers getting a hit, if only because he tripped and tossed the egg by accident into the Navel Piranha's navel.

Roy: This is getting maddening!

Larry: I'm sick of watching!

Crazy Packers Fan: Hopefully this will end in a hurry.

Boom Boom suddenly has the bright idea of standing right behind the line (the others don't realize it is
better to stand there) and throwing the eggs from there.

Larry: This way, it can't be too hard to hit the Navel Piranha's navel, can it?

Roy: He'll think of something.

Boom Boom then fumbles the eggs, picks a few up, and throws them at the other team.

Boom Boom: This is becoming stupid!

Larry: What's wrong with him?

Roy: I don't know. This is already stupid. He's off by an hour or so.

Things get stupider as Chauncey quits, Angry Sun leaves the stadium, and Stretch takes a nap.

Larry: Does anyone want to win?

Finally, Mr. Luggs starts getting very accurate with his throws. He starts to hit his team's Navel Piranha three percent of the time he throws an egg.

Mr. Luggs: Don't worry, I'm getting better!

Eventually, Luigi's Mansion has five hits on their Navel Piranha, while Super Mario Bros. 3 has zero.

Rocky Wrench: Time for a comeback!

Unfortunately, it is a little hard to make a comeback when no one on your team is even trying to throw eggs

Rocky Wrench: Wake up, team! We don't want to be beaten by a bunch of ghosts!

His pleas do not go over well with his team.

Fire Chomp: I want to sleep!

Stretch: Who cares if we lose?

Rocky Wrench angrily starts tossing eggs furiously. Of course, none even come close to hitting the Navel
Piranha's navel.

Rocky Wrench: I quit!

Rocky Wrench throws his last egg, which...

Roy: Knocks out Super Mario Brothers 3's Navel Piranha for the win!

... misses badly.

Roy: Huh?

Instead, it is Neville that is able to get the game-winning hit that knocks out Luigi's Mansion's Navel Piranha.

Crazy Packers Fan: Luigi's Mansion wins Minion Melee!

Roy: Yippee. Now we can all go home.

Larry: May I collect my salary and go?

Crazy Packers Fan: Not yet. First we must present the Minion Melee trophy to Luigi's Mansion!

Mr. Game & Watch pulls out a Mario trophy and hands it to Neville.

Neville: This is one of those cheap Super Smash Bros. Melee trophies!

Crazy Packers Fan: So what if it is? You won! And I also have your coins for winning the championship!

Shivers: How many?

Crazy Packers Fan: Five! Here's one for each of you!

Shivers: Yippee.

Crazy Packers Fan: That's all for Minion Melee. Thanks to those of you who picked Luigi's Mansion to win,
3-2, because you helped this strange contest end in an even stranger way! Thanks for watching, and so long.

The End

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