Beauty and the Machine

By Foxy Koopa

Artwork by Fried Rooster

Karma sighed. She watched Ludwig tinker around with his newest invention. It was supposed to make anyone he shot its ray at good looking. He'd shot it at Karma but it hadnít done anything. Neither of them had figured out why. Everything was in proper working order. He had used it on Morton and currently Wendy was begging him to marry her. It had worked on him but not Karma. How come? she thought miserably.

"Karma! Get me the vonebook!" Ludwig never got anything for himself when he was busy. As Karma retrieved the phonebook Lemmy and Morton foughtover Wendy. After she gave the phonebook to her lawful wedded one, she watched him dial different numbers and talk in hundreds of different languages. After a couple of hours Ludwig finally put the phone and phonebook down. A few seconds later he ripped it to shreds. Karma walked back from where she was watching Morton and Lemmy try to dominate each other. She tried to listen to what Ludwig was murmuring to himself, but instead the phone rang. She picked it up. "Hello?"

"May I speak to Karma?"

"This is."

"Oh hey! Itís me, Seren!"


"So do you want to come to the mall?"

Karma sighed and looked at Ludwig. "I canít. Ludwig is in the middle of an invention that doesnít make sense. It should work, but it doesnít." Karma could hear sounds of thoughtfulness on the other side.

"Iíll come with Mouse, maybe we can help."

"Sure." Karma hung up. She went outside to wait for Seren and Mouse, though she doubted they could help. Five minutes later she was face to face with Seren, the super-intelligent, skinny baby-black Yoshi with long bright blue hair, and Mouse, a Koopa with bright rainbow hair, one of seven Koopas that Seren lives with. Mouse had known Seren since their advanced college classes together.

From time to time Mouse and Seren visited the castle. In that time Mouse and Iggy had grown fond of each other because they both loved comic books, the Internet, video games, and just about any other really "nerdy" thing you could think of. Mouse also loved to play with Iggy's pets and hear him brag about himself.

As they walked inside Karma explained the situation. "... and it doesnít work on me," she finished. By the time they reached Ludwig and his invention, they had lost Mouse.

"Sheís a nuisance anyway," Ludwig commented.

Seren checked his ray and found nothing wrong. "Hm... I donít understand!" Seren was as infuriated as Ludwig.

Ludwig finally realized what they had to do.

"To the Innovation Cave!" (That was cheap, I admit.) Ludwig ran down a secret passage behind the cheeseballs in the pantry. "Superb Kooptacular Computer, tell me what is wrong vith my vonderful creation!" he yelled at a blank monitor.

The screen turned green (I rhyme, ah huh! Look at me! Iím good!) and words formed across the screen. "Information not available!" Seren stormed, "Geez Louis! That was a waste of extremely cheesy (no pun intended) names for your cave computer!"

"Then vhat do you suggest ve do, runt?"

"Letís go on an adventure!"

"Oh, great. More time vith the runt."Karma glared at Ludwig. Ludwig shrugged.

So the trio set off on a journey for knowledge. A few hours later the group finally reaches in civilization. Ludwig walks up to a Piranha Plant. "Hello, do you happen to know any very smart people?"

"My brain itches," the Piranha Plant replied.

"Well, that was successful," scorned Seren.

"You think you can do better, hotshot?" Ludwig retorted.

While Ludwig and Seren started bickering, Karma walked up to a Shy Guy.

"Excuse me, do you know any geniuses?"

"Monkeys steal my underwear at night," the Shy Guy said.

"Um... guys? Something tells me that we arenít going to find any answers around here," Karma to Ludwig and Seren.

The group agreed to look for someone sensible to ask. As they walked they passed a mother Goomba and her little ones. "Itís all fun until someone gets hurt, then itís hilarious," she advised the little Goombalings. Seren walked up to a sensible-looking blonde Koopa (Sparks V.B. has a cameo!). She stopped and turned to a sensible-looking Koopa Troopa. "Pardon me, mister, but is there a town genius or someone like that around here?" Seren asked politely.

"Canít sleep, clownsíll eat me," the Troopa replied.

"Um.... kay..." Seren stared at the Koopa Troopa for awhile.

"Never meddle in the affairs of a dragon, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup," he said blankly.

"If you insist." Seren returned to the group.

The blonde Koopa Seren had spotted earlier tapped Ludwig on the shoulder. "I heard you were looking for a genius," she said coolly.

"Yes, indeed we are."

"Iím fairly smart."


Ludwig grabbed the Koopa by the arm and dragged her to the castle. Once there she inspected the machine. "Simple."

"Vhat do I need to fix?"

"Nothing, itís not broken." The blonde Koopa turned and left.

"Off with her head!" Ludwig shouted. "Vhat?! I canít do that?! Darn it!"

Iggy and Mouse soon walked in, holding hands.

"The answer is so simple, itís hilarious!" laughed Mouse. "Karma, youíre already beautiful!" Iggy whispered something in Mouseís ear (if they have ears) and the two ran off.

Ludwig smacked himself. "OH! ... I shouldíve known that." Karma went to find Mouse to thank her. She passed Lemmy in a black suit and Wendy in a white veil (FINALLY!). She went into Iggyís room and found Mouse and Iggy on the bed-

Mouse stops the story for a second and climbs out. "Yeah, yeah, I hear that loud EWWWWW! from here. You guys are truly SICK!" Mouse hops back into the fanfic.)

-reading comic books.


Mouse looked up. "No prob."

The End

"Wait!!!" Morton tries to chase down Lemmyís Jaguar. "I love you Wendy!"

The Real End

I have to give Sparks V.B. credit for a few of the jokes.

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