The Good, the Bad, and the Torte

By Chef Torte

Epilogue: All’s Well That Ends Well, or Is It?

A rainbow of colors boomed all around the atmosphere. It was the next night, and everyone was celebrating in Dinosaur Land. Fireworks filled the sky, an impressive light show took place in the Vanilla Dome remains, and all over the island everyone was partying. Though Donut Plains and Yoshi’s Island were pretty much destroyed, the island hosted a great party in its other regions. Stario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, Toad, Mallow, Toadsworth, the Chancellor, and the King were watching the magnificent fireworks from the peak of Cookie Mountain. Suddenly they saw Merlink the fortune teller rush up the mountain and reach them. He was out of breath when he got there.

“What is it, Merlink?” Luigi asked.

“Well... I just... wanted to... tell you...” Merlink wheezed.

“What?” Yoshi asked.

“Well, I was right. My vision was true! Mario didn’t return from the battle, though his spirit lives on in Stario. I was still right,” Merlink said.

“Well I suppose so, but it’s just that Stario is so much like Mario,” Peach said.

Stario nodded his head as he shoved a mouthful of pasta down his throat and slurped up the long strands hanging out of his lip, then finishing with a finely developed belch. Everyone giggled a bit.

“Well, I am not Mario. That is-a for sure. But on so many levels I am him. He left his blueprints behind for me to adapt to. If you called me Mario, I’m sure I’d probably react, but let’s-a remember that I’m not him. I’m almost like his son, but probably more like a clone, or newer version,” Stario said.

“Well, you’re still my brother!” Luigi said.

“And you’re still my buddy!” Yoshi said.

“And I hope... you’re still my good friend!” Peach said.

“Of course! I still hold all of Mario’s old emotions, but not in the same proportion!” Stario informed.

Ryan-oshi and Crazy Koopa rushed up next, followed by Genji T. They were carrying a trophy of a Shy Guy with a bib on.

“What are you guys running from?” Toad asked.

“If someone asks, tell us you haven’t seen us!” Ryan-oshi laughed.

The three of them ran down to the Forest of Illusion. An echoing scream came from the opposite side of the mountain. Tayce T sped up and stopped at the summit.

“WHERE’D THEY GO?!” Tayce T roared.

“Where’d-a who go?” Stario asked.


“Haven’t seen anyone,” Peach lied.

Tayce T spazzed out and went looking down into the Forest of Illusion.

The Vanilla Dome and Cookie Mountain were packed densely with Yoshis, Mushroomers, and Koopas. The Koopas were the ones who fled Bowser’s Castle the night before. It was a fantastic festival and everyone was having a good time. Luigi then made a concerned face.

“What’s the matter, Luigi?” Mallow asked.

“Hmm, wait a second, Stario, what happened to the other two crystals? You have the Crystal Star inside you, but where are the Crystal Shine and Moon?” Luigi asked.

“Mamamia! Vuljiin had them, he took those two after he killed Mario. Then Mario combined with the Crystal Star, and I emerged, but Vuljiin must have had them when I killed him! Perhaps they exploded with him?” Stario suggested.

“It could be... but it’s hard to think that those magic gemstones could be destroyed like-a that. Maybe they disappeared and returned to their realms?” Luigi said.

“Or maybe...” Yoshi spoke, “Vuljiin got away...”

“... Nah, I saw Stario! He whupped him good!” Peach said.

The group of friends discarded the thought, as it was a frustrating and possibly frightening question for them to think about. They continued to enjoy the rest of the night. Meanwhile, on a little islette near the coast of the delicious Chocolate Island, Bowser and his remaining lackeys watched the party in anger. Bowser stared up at the booming fireworks. Kamek waddled over to him.

“C’mon Bowser... let’s get ready!” Kamek said.

Bowser turned and followed Kamek. They walked into a bit of a jungle and met up with Kammy, Jagger, and his six defeated kids. They were all weak and tired.

“You know, I know we lost, but I can honestly say it was fun! I missed this evil stuff!” Morton said.

Roy punched Morton in the face.

“Ow! What was that for?” Morton whined.

“All right now, quiet down!” Bowser growled. “It’s time for us to go to the new castle I have for us!”

“You have a new castle already?!” Wendy asked.

“That’s pretty fast!” Iggy mentioned.

“Well, actually it’s not a castle... it’s a cozy little mansion I won in a contest! And the best part of the whole scheme is, I didn’t even enter the contest! What a deal, huh?” Bowser asked.

“Hmm, this seems strangely famliar...” Kammy mumbled.

A blue ghost snickered behind the trees, watching the foolish Koopa family. “Uncle King will love this!” he said before flying off.

The fireworks could be seen all the way from the off-the-coast chain of islands, the Tropacine Isles, including Isle Soshi. Though, the only one the fireworks were visible to on that island was Chef Torte’s apprentice, who had just emerged from hiding. The nervous Koopa looked around at the destruction. He went to the tower’s top and stared off the edge. Deep down in the volcano, he watched his master get chased by Embert T. Podoboo.


His apprentice sighed and rolled his eyes. “Oh well... I better go get the chopper, looks like this is the end, now if you will enjoy the credits!” the apprentice said to YOU. (Yes YOU!)

Chef Torte’s screams of pain were heard all night, as long as the fireworks bursted in the sky. Then some strange sillouhette on a rocket went flying past the Moon, as if it were bringing everything full circle, to close, to the end, to the...


BOB: WAIT! You’re not leaving yet are you? I can’t believe you, coming for the movie... er, story, but not staying for the credits! I can’t believe you’d do that! You gotta show appreciation for who helped make this story great! So, enjoy the credits, who knows, maybe you’ll be in ‘em! Oh, and don’t forget to buy your The Good, the Bad, and the Torte merchandise now! Call 1-800-555-CHEF now! Or log on to You say it doesn’t exist? Well try emailing then! I can’t believe you’d say no to a cute lil’ plush of Embert T. Podoboo or Genius Guy! You can re-enact famous scenes like the final fight, or Genius Guy painting on buttons to the Mecha Yoshi. DON’T DELAY! CALL OR LOG ON NOW!!!

There actually is no The Good, the Bad, and the Torte merchandise you dolt! Put down that phone and mouse! But the Email still is real. If you’d like to leave some comments, questions, or concerns for the author, Chef Torte, feel free! Oh, and remember, “Ze cake’s ALIVE! RUN!!!”
-Freddy, C.E.O. of Freddy Inkorporated

Character Parade


King Toadstool

Chancellor of the Mushroom Kingdom

Merlink, the Fortune Teller

Sir Toadsworth Spore

Ryan-oshi Yoshi

Crazy Koopa

Tayce T.

Chef Spore

Portrait Goomba

II Piantissimo


Behemoth Blooper

Interpreter Guy

Chief Guy


Twink Centauri


...And Vuljiin!

  The GOOD...


Toad Fungi

Prince Mallow Nimbus

Princess Peach Toadstool

Yoshi Dino

Luigi Mario...

...And “Super” Mario Mario!

The BAD...

King Bowser Koopa

Bowser Koopa Junior

Larry Koopa

Morton Koopa Junior

Wendy O. Koopa

Iggy Koopa

Roy Koopa

Lemmy Koopa

Kamek Magikoopa

Kammy Koopa...

 ...And General Jagger Terrapin

The TORTE...

Chef Torte, Master of Evil & Culinary Arts

Chef Torte’s Apprentice

Changling Magikoopa

Genius Guy

The Grand Glum Reaper

Soshi Dragon...

...And Whomp!

And Introducing...

...Embert T. Podoboo!

No Yoshis were harmed in the making of this story. Though Chef Torte’s team was severely injured, the Yoshis ate the studio’s free food out of its budget, and Lemmy Koopa is still lost out there In the cold recesses of space...

The Good, the Bad and the Torte was written and directed by Chef Torte, in (direct) association with Nintendo and Freddy Inkorporated and Cheesey Special FX Inc.

The Interpreter Guy, Behemoth Blooper, Chief Guy, Solaar, Moonraker, Vuljiin, Stario, Genius Guy, The Grand Glum Reaper, Soshi Dragon and Embert T. Podoboo are all original characters of Chef Torte.

Special thanks to:
Ryan-oshi Yoshi of Nintendo Writer’s Paradise,
Lemmy Koopa of Lemmy’s Land,
And to you for reading this...

Don’t count on it!!!

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