The Search for Respect

By Blue Boo

Artwork by Fried Rooster

One day, after doing his monthly attack on the Mario Brothers, Larry went to his room and thought.

Larry: Why can't we defeat those stupid plumbers? It's not fair. There must be some way to keep them from jumping on us, but what is it? If they couldn't jump on our heads, we could defeat them.

Without another word, Larry crawled into bed and went to sleep.

Larry: Stupid Marios... Zzz...

The next day, Larry woke up and went to water his plants. While he was there, he stepped on a thorn.

Larry: Ow! That hurts. Why did I have to get the thorny plants?

After Larry watered his plants, he walked into the kitchen. He asked Clawdia to make him a salad. While he was eating, he thought to himself.

Larry: (thinking) If only there was some way to defeat the Marios. I would be more respected around here. And that goes for my plants too.

As Larry took another bite, Roy came into the room wearing a football helmet.

Roy: Another win for me! Those lazy Chargin' Chucks can't beat me! I wonder if there is any way to make them better at football. I need a better challenge! They're too easy to beat!

When Roy spotted Larry, he walked over to him.

Roy: Hey, squirt! Why do you eat that rabbit food? You need to try some meat! That's why you're a sissy loser.

Larry: I don't eat meat because I'm a vegetarian. Now go away.

Roy: I don't think so!

Roy grabbed Larry's salad and threw it away. Larry picked up a book next to him and threw it at Roy, but it bounced off when it hit his helmet.

Roy: Oh, now you're in for a pounding!

Larry: Eep!

After being beaten up, Larry ran to his room.

Larry: Why are my brothers so mean to me? I wish they could show some respect!

Larry thought for a while. He thought about the Marios and how he wanted to defeat them. He thought about the thorn he stepped on. He also thought about Roy's football helmet. He then had an idea.

Larry: Hey! That's it! I can-

At that moment, Susan burst in and started kissing him.

Larry: Oh no! What are you doing here?

Susan: I had to come see you! I've been missing you so much!

Larry: Get off me! I'm busy! Stop kissing!

Susan: Oh, I know you haven't had enough!

Larry: NOOOOOOOOO!!!

Susan kissed Larry until the afternoon, then she left.

Larry: I've had it! I'm going to go play video games in the lounge, and I'm not letting anybody stop me!

Larry stomped toward the lounge. When he passed by Ludwig's room, Ludwig came out and grabbed him from behind. He dragged him into his room and stuffed his head in a machine.

Larry: What are you doing?

Ludwig: I'm testing my latest invention, the Hair-O-Matic 3000!

Ludwig pushed a button on the machine, and Larry's hair burnt off.

Ludwig: Oops. Still needs work. Thank you, Larry, for testing my invention.

Larry managed to pull his head out of the machine.

Larry: What's wrong with you?

Ludwig: Ooh. You look bad. You should wear this bag on your head.

Ludwig put a bag on Larry's head with eyeholes that were too high for Larry's eyes. The bad said "I'm an idiot!" on it. Larry stumbled down to the kitchen, where the family was meeting for dinner. Larry crashed into the table. When his siblings spotted what the bag said, they started laughing and pointing at Larry.

Wendy: Oh, that's so true!

Morton: Yes, true, correct, right, perfect, not wrong, not incorrect, not fa-

Boom!

Bowser put away his new bazooka.

Bowser: Anyway, let's see who's here. Larry?

Larry: (muffled) Here.

Bowser: For goodness sakes, Larry!  Get that bag off of your head!

Bowser pulled off the bag, revealing Larry's bald burnt head.

Bowser: Oh, that's hilarious!

Everybody started laughing except Clawdia.

Clawdia: Larry, what did you do to your head? I told you to take care of it! When dinner is over, you're going to the dungeon!

Larry: But Queen Mom!

Clawdia: No buts!

Bowser: Anyway, Iggy?

Iggy: Here!

Bowser: Morton? Oh wait, he's here. Roy?

Roy: What?! Oh. Here.

Bowser: Lemmy?

Lemmy: Here.

Bowser: Bowser?

No answer.

Bowser: Where's Bowser?! Bowser! Get in he... oh yeah. Ludwig?

Ludwig came running to the kitchen.

Ludwig: Here!

Bowser: Wendy?

Wendy: Here!

Bowser: Clawdia?

Clawdia: I'm here. Now we can eat.

Everybody ate. They all had chicken pot pie except for Larry, who had vegetable pie. After dinner, Larry went to the dungeon. His guard threw a rock at him.

Guard: Haha!

Larry: Leave me alone!

Guard: No!

After a cold night in the dungeon, Larry went up to his room.

Larry: *sigh* Wait, now I remember what I was doing before Susan came in! I can create a thorn helmet! That way, when Mario or Luigi jump on me, they will hurt their feet and I will be unharmed!

Larry got some thorns from his plants and snuck into Roy's room for a helmet. He finished it at noon.

Larry: Finally! I shall triumph over the Marios, and I will be the most respected Koopa of them all! But the Marios will probably notice the helmet. I know! I’ll sneak into Ludwig’s room and use his new Invisibility Cream!

So that night, Larry snuck into Ludwig’s room and took his Invisibility Cream. After spreading it on the helmet, Larry strapped it on and pushed the lock button so nobody could pull it off.

Larry: Now, it will only come off when I say, watermelon!

The helmet came off.

Larry: Good!

Larry got into his doomship and flew to Mario's Pad. When he got there, Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Yoshi were playing Mario Party 4.

Larry: Hehe. They're so unsuspecting! Now for my moment of glory!

Larry burst in and pulled out his wand.

Mario: Mamamia! It's-a Larry!

Larry: That's right! And I've had enough of you Marios bossing us Koopas around! Now prepare to meet your doom!

Larry started shooting at the Marios. Mario dodged and jumped on Larry's head.

Mario: Ow! That smarts!

Mario started hopping around holding his foot. Luigi tried to jump on Larry's head, but the same thing happened.

Larry: Foolish plumbers! Now you can see why I'm invincible! You've fixed your last toilet!

Mario: What?

Larry: Sorry, that didn't come out right. I'm just going to kill you.

Larry pointed his wand at the Marios. Just then, Yoshi tried to eat the helmet, but he hurt his tongue.

Yoshi: Ow! Yoshi hurt!

Peach: Yoshi, don't try to fight! We have to find some other way to beat him!

Yoshi: Yoshi need to cool off tongue!

Yoshi walked outside searching for a melon.

Larry: Now that that's settled, it's doomsday for you plumbers!

Larry shot a blast from his wand at the Marios. They tried to run, but their feet were still injured. Bang! Mario and Luigi both lay on the floor, dead.

Peach: Mario? Luigi? No! It can't be!

Larry: I... I... I did it... I DID IT!!! FINALLY!!! I, LARRY KOOPA, HAVE DEFEATED THE MARIO BROTHERS!!!

Yoshi came back inside with a watermelon.

Yoshi: Oh... good. Koopa want watermelon?

Larry: No, I don't want a stupid watermelon. I ha... OH NO!!!

The helmet came off. It fell in the sunlight, the one thing that made the cream wear off.

Peach: Quick! Make like Mario!

Yoshi jumped on Larry's head, which gave Peach time to throw the helmet in a nearby river.

Larry: No! This is not fair!

Larry ran back to his doomship and flew off. Peach walked up to the Marios and started crying.

Peach: Oh, Mario. What has Larry done to you?

Peach looked at Mario's dresser and saw something wonderful.

Peach: It's a... Pick Me Up!

Peach gave the Pick Me Up to Mario and Luigi, who then woke up.

Mario: What happened? I thought-a we were dead!

Peach: You had a Pick Me Up!

Luigi: It's a good thing too! I thought we were doomed!

Meanwhile, at Castle Koopa...

Larry: King Dad! King Dad! I did it! I've killed the Marios!

Bowser: What?! You?! Is this true?!

Larry: Yes! Come and see!

Larry and Bowser went to Mario's Pad. When they got there, they found Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Yoshi inside playing Mario Party 4.

Larry: What the?

Bowser: Larry!

Larry: But they... but I... how did...

Bowser: Larry, three days in the dungeon!

Larry: My life is so unfair!

Bowser: Let's go. I treat you good enough, you're just a bad kid!

Larry and Bowser went back to Castle Koopa and Larry went to the dungeon. When he got there, he was hit with a rock.

Larry: Ow!

Guard: Haha!

The End

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