It had been the hardest two weeks of the Koopalings' lives. As another cold night approached and the Koopalings ate their dinner, Sgt. Hills gave them more insults to try and get them working. Through the month, the Koopalings had been getting angrier and angrier, and the more time they spent at the camp, the more they wanted to go home. At last, the night came when the Koopalings had had enough. With two more weeks of camp, the Koopalings decided it was time to escape.
Ludwig: This camp is brutal. It's time that we got back home.
Larry: What about the money?
Ludwig: We get a ton of money in allowance. Besides, I doubt that King Dad even has enough money.
Wendy: Okay, so what's the plan?
Ludwig: Do you prefer one more day in this camp, or would you rather go home?
Lemmy: I think I'd rather go home.
Ludwig: Well, that actually wasn't a real question. That was just to convince you to escape.
Roy: But this place has a lot of security! We'll never make it out of here!
Ludwig: Yes we will!
Wendy: What about our cousins? They're asleep!
Ludwig: Well we wouldn't want to just leave them in the camp...
Ludwig: If Nick and Susan are left behind, it will be harder to make an excuse as to why we had to leave.
Lemmy went over to wake up Susan, only to see her dreaming about Larry. Susan grabbed Lemmy's face and started to kiss him. She then woke up and saw what she was doing.
Susan: EWW!!!! You're not Larry!
Lemmy: ACK!!! SUSAN GERMS!!!
Nick: Shut up, I'm trying to sleep.
Ludwig: Come on, Nick. We're leaving this place for good.
Nick instantly hopped out of bed.
Ludwig: Now that this story has finally gotten to the chapter that the title suggests, we need to go.
The Koopalings all crept out of the barracks quiet as mice. Though this all sounded simple, they weren't the only ones who have tried to escape from Camp Dusty. The camp was ready for any escapees, and it was once again time for it to show what it had.
The Koopalings continued through the camp. Ludwig quickly motioned his siblings to hide in a ditch. They watched as a guard dog walked by about 60 feet ahead.
Larry: Would he have seen us?
Ludwig: No. But I've read about Earth creatures. Dogs can smell pretty much anything.
Wendy: Oh. So it probably would have smelled all of my makeup.
Ludwig: Exactly. Now we need to watch our step and make our way to the exit.
Roy: Let's just get out of here!
Meanwhile, at the center of Camp Dusty, Sergeant Hills was watching the security systems.
Sgt. Hills: Well, all seems well. I guess now I will check the barracks.
Hills pressed a button that caused a bunch of monitors to show the interior of several barracks.
Sgt. Hills: Well, all seems fine... wait a minute!
Hills saw that the Koopalings' barracks was empty.
Sgt. Hills: Well, it looks like those Koopa Kids have finally had enough. No matter. Nobody escapes from Camp Dusty.
Hills got out of his chair and walked off. Meanwhile, the Koopalings were still trying to escape, unaware of the things Hills had in store for them.
Iggy: This place is starting to get scary.
Lemmy: It is creepy, but we haven't run into any trouble yet. We might actually make it.
Larry: Quiet you fools! Do you want anybody to hear us?
Roy: Well, maybe we could just stay here for the rest of the month.
The rest of the koopalings glared at Roy.
Roy: I was just giving a suggestion.
Ludwig: Anyway, we need to make an escape plan.
Larry: That's my job!
Nick: Why can't we just walk out the front door?
Ludwig: Camp Dusty is much more secure than that.
Wendy: Well why didn't we do this in the barracks?
Ludwig: Um... I kinda forgot.
Roy: I found a donut!
Iggy: What?! What are you talking about?!
Roy: Right there!
Roy pointed out a deflated life saver.
Larry: You idiot! That's not a donut!
Roy: Wanna say that TO MY FACE?!
Larry: Um... no?
Ludwig: ROY!!!! KEEP QUIET YOU FOOL!!!
Camper: What was that?
. . .
. . .
. . .
Camper: I guess it was nothing.
Ludwig: Okay, now I have a plan.
Wendy: Well that was fast.
Iggy: I agree.
Lemmy: So what's the plan? Does it involve freezing anything?
Ludwig: ... No.
Wendy: Does it involve making ourselves pretty?
Susan: Does it involve kissing Larry?
Larry: Does it involve me sneaking in to anything?
Ludwig: No... oh wait, yes. Yes it does, Larry.
Larry: So what's the plan?
Ludwig: Well, first you will need to sneak into the main base and shut off the power supply. We'll need something to distract the watchdogs. Any ideas on something that smells?
Lemmy: Your Smell o Matic thingy?
Ludwig: That was destroyed.
Morton: Well I think that we should use something that has a very strong smell that would make the dogs not want to smell it or make them want to go and see what it is but there really aren't very many things with that attribute except fish and I hate fish but Wendy likes fish but we don't have any but speaking of Wendy she has a lot of makeup which stinks because every day when I'm in my room and Wendy puts it on I can smell it and I do-
Roy: SHUT UP!!!
Ludwig: Wait! The loudmouth just gave us the answer.
Ludwig: Wendy's makeup really stinks and it has a strong smell. If we can put it somewhere and get out of there, we could sneak by when the dogs try to find it.
Morton: See I did a good job and you didn't Roy because I had the idea and you thought I was being annoying but really I was kind of being annoying but in the end it gave the idea of what we should do to get out without being caught or anything and I don't think we would enjoy that because it would be bad if we got caught so we need to make sure that we are careful not to get caught by-
Ludwig: Okay, now you're just annoying!
Suddenly, the ground below the Koopalings opened up and they fell into a cage.
Iggy: Where are we?
Sgt. Hills: Oh, you're just in my escapee cage.
Ludwig: What are we doing in here?
Sgt. Hills: I know you were trying to escape. When I found out, I came here and set up this trap for you. This cage will go down into the lava pit below you, and there's no escaping.
Larry: Well, so much for not getting caught.
Nick and Roy started pounding Larry for no reason at all.
Hills pushed a button and the cage began to lower into the lava. All that was surrounding them was a lot of lava and Hills' balcony.
Wendy: What do we do?
Sgt. Hills: There's nothing you can do! Ha!
Hills left the room, laughing.
Ludwig: Grr... what can we do?
Larry: You're the genius! Think of something! OW!
Ludwig: I think... I have... an idea.
Ludwig: Wendy, I'll need to see your bow!
Wendy took off her bow and gave it to Ludwig.
Ludwig: Hm... I think this will be strong enough...
A few minutes later, Ludwig held in front of him a large string of yarn. The cage was getting ever closer to the lava.
Lemmy: Um.. Ludwig? We don't have a lot of time.
Suddenly, the power went out and everything stopped.
Ludwig: What the?!
The power was out for one hour. Finally it came back on.
Larry: Well that was pointless.
Iggy: I agree.
Roy: STOP SAYING THAT!!!
Roy slammed Iggy's head against the side of the cage.
Nick: Nice one.
Ludwig: Anyway, Wendy, I need to see your blush this time.
Wendy: I don't know what you're doing... but here.
Wendy gave Ludwig her blush.
Ludwig: Good. Now I just need to open this, and tie the string around it. Now, if this bow is expensive, the material must be strong. We have ourselves a grappling hook!
Wendy: Okay, now what?
Ludwig swung the grappling hook and threw it to a lever on Hills' control panel. With a tug, the cage stopped falling.
Ludwig: Now to escape. Roy, you and I will need to make our way to the top of this cage while holding the string.
Ludwig: Because I need the heaviest of us.
Roy and Ludwig slowly made their way up. Eventually, they made it to the top.
Ludwig: Now, we need to swing into the cage's door.
Roy: Uh oh.
Ludwig: One... two...
Ludwig and Roy jumped off the side of the cage holding the end of the grappling hook. They swung right towards the door of the cage. With their combined weight, they slammed the door right out of its hinges, then swung to the balcony.
Ludwig: Now we need to get you guys over here.
Ludwig tied the end of the string to the lever and took the blush off. He swung it to the cage. One by one, the remaining Koopalings and their cousins jumped out of the cage, hit the wall below the balcony, and climbed up.
Larry: Wow! We did it!
Lemmy: That was some plan, Ludwig!
Morton: It's true because it looked like we wouldn't be going anywhere but down down down down into the lava which we wouldn't like and it would burn and it looked like there was no way out but when we did your plan it did work so now we're free and not going to be falling in the lava pits so we owe you which normally I wouldn't like but right now I don't care beca-
Ludwig: YES YES!!! I GET THE POINT!!! But right now, we need to get out of here.
The Koopalings crept down the hall where Hills left. They looked left and right for a sign of any guards, but it seemed they were safe.
Roy: Okay, now where?
Sgt. Hills: Nowhere!
The Koopalings looked back and saw the angry face of Hills.
Sgt. Hills: How... how... how did you... aw, just forget it! I'm going to try a different method of catching you!
The Koopalings watched as a huge shadowed figure came from behind Hills.
???: Why aren't these no good runaways you informed me about in the lava room?
Sgt. Hills: I... I don't know. I left them there, but now they seem to have escaped! If you just give me another chan-
???: Life doesn't have second chances! I will have to deal with these myself!
Larry: Who is this guy?
Ludwig: *gulp* Guys, I think we've just met the general!
???: GENERAL SCALES!!! HAHAHA!!!
Bowser: This game stinks.
Bowser reached over and turned off the GCN. He got up and walked down the hall towards the kitchen. When he got there, he noticed Clawdia was looking sad as she prepared dinner.
Bowser: Is something wrong?
Clawdia: I just miss our kids...
Bowser: Why is everybody missing them? What's the big deal?
Clawdia: Don't you miss them?
Bowser: No, I don't miss Lemmy's pulling a joke and him laughing about it... Or Roy pounding Iggy and making me laugh... while at the same time making me want to send him to the dungeon...
Clawdia: I knew it, you miss them.
Bowser: Well... maybe I kind of miss them a little... but they needed to be sent to boot camp, it was for the best.
Clawdia: What did they do wrong anyway?
Bowser: Well, they didn't beat Mario and I got mad.
Clawdia: Don't they always lose to Mario? How is this different than any other time?
Bowser: Well... it's... it was the final straw...
Clawdia: You mean you lost your temper and did something stupid... again...
Bowser: Well... okay, you're right.
Clawdia: At least the month is almost over.
Bowser: Yeah, and I lost a lot of money...
Clawdia: You know what that means…
Bowser: No... please no!
Clawdia: We'll have to sell your BBQ and the ribs and cancel your cookouts.
* * *
???: Yes, indeed I am the general, and I built this camp myself! You no-good cowards are trying to escape, so you will face the consequences!
Larry: First of all, who are you?
???: I am General Mountains!
Ludwig: Well that was expected.
Gen. Mountains: Silence! Because of your behavior, we will have to punish you!
Susan: Larry, save me!
Larry: Can you give her extra punishment?
Gen. Mountains: You are all very foolish! Now head back to your camps while I prepare your punishment! And don't bother trying to escape! We have all our security on the lookout for you.
Ludwig seemed to have something on his mind. He was making no reaction as he had his hand on his chin and his head was down.
Gen. Mountains: As for you, Hills, you have failed me and must also be punished!
Sgt. Hills: But... I did exactly what you told me to!
Gen. Mountains: But you failed! The point isn't what you did, it's if you succeeded!
Sgt. Hills: Meep...
Roy: Woah, Sergeant Hills is getting picked on!
Gen. Mountains: I suggest you Koopalings go to your barracks. You had betteir... er... better go now before we activate our security.
Ludwig raised an eyebrow.
The Koopalings made their way out of the central headquarters. When they turned the corner into another hall, Ludwig stopped them.
Ludwig: Hold on.
Nick: What's the deal?
Morton: Yeah we need to go and if we don't hurry up we'll be caught and attacked so we really really really oughta hurry up back to camp and I think they might be starting up security right now so we have to go or-
Roy and Nick bashed Morton, knocking him out.
Ludwig: Something is weird about that general.. he said that he built this camp by himself...
Larry: So? He looks strong and tough enough.
Ludwig: I know, but the sign in front of the camp said it was built in 1942.
Wendy: You actually read those signs?
Iggy: Wait a minute, he's right! General Mountains looks like a young man! There's no way he was alive in 1942.
Lemmy: What are you suggesting?
Ludwig: That's not all. General Mountains had a limp to his walk.
Susan: Maybe his leg was broken.
The Koopalings stared at Susan, then Roy punched her in the face, knocking her unconscious.
Lemmy: He could've hurt his ankle recently.
Ludwig: Maybe... but it would be an odd coincidence... and there is one more thing. Did you notice that he said betteir?
Wendy: Maybe he's French.
Larry: He didn't look French to me.
Ludwig: Exactly. I think something is fishy, so we should go back and follow him.
Nick: I want to get away from this @#($ camp!
Larry: Okay, let's just go.
The Koopalings all went back down the hall and towards the room General Mountains went to. Fortunately, the door was ajar. The Koopalings peeked inside and spied on the general.
Gen. Mountains: Vell, zat vaz easy. You have failed me, you worthlez little lozeir!
Sgt. Hills: I'm sorry!
General Mountains' head began to twist, and it revealed that it was a robot. When the head was twisted off, a grey Goomba hopped out.
Koopalings: It's Mr. Little!
Mr. Little: Phew. Zat vas not eazy keeping up zat Ameirican accent!
Hills' head twisted off and a small blue blooper came out.
Mr. Little: How could you fail me, you vorthlez little...
Blooper: Well at least I gave the Koopalings the hardest month of their lives!
Mr. Little: Silence, you zilly fool! Ve vill have to capture Zuzan tomorrow night vhen they are unaware! Zen I shall have my revenge!
Blooper: Okay then... Say, do you think I sounded tough?
Mr. Little: Vell, I suppose you did a pretty good job viz ze whole pain rezistance zing.
Blooper: Yeah, they actually thought they were learning to resist pain! Idiots...
Mr. Little: Don't zey realize ze diffeirence between tortere und training?
Blooper: Guess not... though I don't understand why you didn't kill Susan any other night.
Mr. Little: Zis month hast been ze hardest und most painful ov heir life! I vanted Zuzan to suffeir!
Blooper: Yeah... but how did you know she would come?
Mr. Little: Vell, I zent Vart an ad about a free flies club! I knew zat he would check it out und leave Zuzan wiz Bowseir. Zhe vould zen find out vhere her preciouz Larry had gone, and I knew zat she vould beg Vart to let her come!
Blooper: But what if Wart said no?
Mr. Little: I put zomezing in zhose flies zat vould make him say yes!
Mr. Little: Now to punish you!
Blooper: Uh oh.
Mr. Little hit a button that caused a piano to fall on the Blooper.
Mr. Little: Now zat he ist gone, I vill go setup my trap!
Larry: Uh oh.
Mr. Little walked up to the door and opened it, causing the Koopalings to fall on their backs.
Roy: Not good!
Mr. Little: VAT IST ZIS?! BLOOPEIRS!!!
An alarm went off and a bunch of Bloopers filled the hall. Some of the other campers came in and were revealed to be robots, just like Sgt. Hills and Gen. Mountains. Bloopers came out of them and charged toward the Koopalings. Ludwig shot a fireball that sent five Bloopers flying and turned them into calamari. Mr. Little grabbed Susan's unconscious body and ran into the room as the Bloopers outnumbered the Koopalings.
Larry: Aah! They're pounding like crazy!
Ludwig: Keep fighting!
The Koopalings were soon knocked out, however. The Bloopers brought them to the basement, where a dungeon cell awaited them. They were placed inside and the Bloopers left the room. Meanwhile, back with Mr. Little...
Mr. Little: Vinally! I can haf my revenge on zis little brat!
Mr. Little put Susan up to a machine that generated an eerie glow. When Susan woke up, Mr. Little was going to begin to torture her.
Mr. Little: Now to get zis girl to vake up!
Mr. Little shouted in a megaphone. Susan was still asleep. He dumped cold water on her, but no use.
Mr. Little: I am not going to zleep until Zuzan ist awake!
* * *
Bowser was taking a stroll through the halls. He came across Morton's room. He saw all his pictures of talk show hosts and his cassettes. Bowser was reminded of the way Morton would never shut up. As he walked down the hall, he came across Lemmy and Iggy's room. He saw a few balls and remembered Lemmy. Bowser continued and saw Larry's room. He noticed all the plants that he had in there and remembered Larry and his vegetables. As he continued, he walked right past Ludwig and Roy's room. As he was about to get the Koopalings off his mind, he saw Wendy's room. He remembered his special girl and how important she was to him.
Bowser: That's it! I'm going to take the Koopalings back! I've had it!
Bowser got in the car and forgot to buckle the seatbelt. In all his anger, he had accidentally set the car in reverse. It crashed into the back of the garage and wiped out his insurance premium.
Bowser: DANG IT!!!
Bowser got out of the car and took the Clown Copter instead. He flew in the direction of Camp Dusty to get the Koopalings back.
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