"Another defeat," Bowser growled as he stormed into his throne room and flung himself onto his solid bone throne. "I don’t believe this! Time after time I’ve had the perfect plan to bring that miserable Mushroom Princess to her knees, and time after time my troops have made a mess of things, so time after time we’ve had countless defeats handed to us." He ripped a rib that once belonged to a Yoshi off the arm of his throne and flung it to a Chain Chomp tethered to a nearby post, where it was promptly set upon by the fearsome creature. "I don’t understand how this keeps happening, time after time after..."
In that moment a new thought struck the Koopa King. "Time," he thought aloud. "That’s the key, isn’t it?" Bowser began to mull over ideas in his head they poured out through his words. "If only there were some way to relive the battles knowing what I know now, I’d be unstoppable. I could fix everything that went wrong, have time to anticipate the mistakes of my troops and correct them," he clenched his terrible fists in sadistic glee as he finished, "and Peach and her people would be mine, to do with as I please." Bowser took a moment to relish the thought, and it steeled his resolve ever more. "Guard," he barked at a nearby Koopa Troopa, "find Kamek and Prince Ludwig and bring them here!"
*****
"Another victory," Princess Peach Toadstool mused as she ran her fingers through the hair of Mario Mario, champion of the Mushroom Kingdom. "Once again my people are in your debt."
Before Mario could reply he was interrupted by a deliberate cough from his brother Luigi, who was standing nearby. "Your Highness," Luigi explained with a forced calm in his voice, "as much as I hate to interrupt you two, we’re in the throne room, and half the kingdom is watching. Besides that, this wasn’t exactly a one plumber show."
"Of course not," Peach agreed, regaining her composure. "And we can’t forget to thank you as well, Luigi. How can this Kingdom ever repay the two of you for your bravery?"
"A vacation would be a nice start," Luigi muttered, "but then again I’d have to talk to Bowser about that one, wouldn’t I?"
"How much more of a vacation do you need, Luweege?" Mario jibed. "This is the first time you’ve been around to stop an attack since before Smithy invaded."
This remark was met with snickers from around the throne room.
"Now Mario," Peach scolded lightly before turning to address the myriad of Mushroom citizens who had come to witness the ceremony honoring the Mario Brothers. "People of the Mushroom Kingdom," she proclaimed, "today we honor these two heroes for once again defending our land from the forces of King Bowser. The Mario Brothers have stood in the face of danger countless times in our defense. We owe much to them, and we must always remember their valor. Therefore, I have ordered that this day shall be forever remembered as Super Mario Day. Let the celebration begin!"
Throughout the throne room, as well as the rest of the Kingdom, there was applause. "I hope, Mario," Peach whispered flirtatiously under the noise, "that you’ll join me in the courtyard after the celebration."
"I’ll be there, Your Highness," Mario assured her.
Luigi rolled his eyes. "Good grief, you two. Announce the wedding and get it over with."
"We intend to," Mario replied, "as soon as the war is over."
"I get the feeling you’ll be waiting a while," Luigi warned. "This war has gone on for years, and I don’t see any sign that the stalemate will be over any time soon."
*****
"This is it, Ludwig," Bowser reveled as he gazed on Ludwig’s machine, still in the making. "This will be our crowning achievement: the weapon that will end this accursed war with the Mushrooms."
"If it vorks," Ludwig mumbled apprehensively.
"Oh, come now," Bowser chided. "Have some faith in your skill. Between your mechanical genius and Kamek’s magic this is sure to work. Why didn’t I think of this years ago?"
"Probably, My King," Kamek answered, "because- although I intend no disrespect to Your Majesty’s genius- this is not sure to work. It will take hundreds of tests to see if we can even create a stable temporal aperture, let alone control when and where the other side opens up.
"Not to mention," Ludwig added, "ve vill have to run many more tests to ensure that matter can pass through the aperture vithout hyperaccelerating its own entropic effect."
"What was that about hyperventilating tropical effects?" Bowser queried, confused.
"Blowing itself up, to put it plainly," Kamek clarified. "If our calculations are even the slightest fraction of a fraction off, anything passing through this portal (assuming there will even be a portal) will be broken down atom by atom and scattered across time and space."
Bowser paused for a moment in thought and replied, "Well the solution to that is simple."
"This should be good," Ludwig grumbled. "Enlighten us then, King Dad."
"Make sure your calculations are accurate. In the meantime, I’ll be in my throne room reading our generals’ field reports from the last battle." With that Bowser swung around and lumbered out of Ludwig’s laboratory.
"Vhy do I get the feeling this is a bad idea?" Ludwig groaned once his father was out of earshot.
"Because it is," Kamek replied nonchalantly. And so, the two Koopas returned to their seemingly doomed experiment.
*****
Later the same evening, Mario and Peach sat in a secluded knoll in the palace’s vast courtyard watching a red sun sink tiredly below the still horizon, casting its last warm rays through the purple clouds. "It’s beautiful, isn’t it?" Peach sighed as she lay her head in Mario’s lap.
"Hmm?" Mario replied distantly.
"The sunset, silly," Peach answered. "Isn’t that just the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?"
"Well, to be honest," Mario confessed, turning Peach’s face toward his own, "the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen is what’s kept me from noticing the sunset." This remark was emphasized with a soft kiss.
"Flatterer," Peach giggled, turning her eyes back toward the sun. "I wonder who you’ve been practicing that line on."
Mario rolled his eyes in mock frustration. "Oh no," he joked, "you caught me."
Peach’s reply came in the form of a handful of nearby flowers, plucked at their base and thrown lazily at Mario. "Alright, you," she kidded, "behave yourself."
"I am," Mario insisted, and the two of them lay silent for a moment. "You know," Mario broke the silence, "I hate to say it, but this is usually about the time when..."
"Don’t say it," Peach interrupted him. "Darling, just don’t say it." She turned her face toward Mario and placed her hand tenderly on his rugged face. "Bowser’s still reeling from the beating you and Luigi handed to him today. Not even he could possibly be planning anything stupid this soon. Just relax, my love, and enjoy the evening."
Mario considered this for a moment. "You’re right," he admitted, sliding his arm around Peach as he spoke. "You’re right. He can’t be up to anything yet. He hasn’t had the time."
*****
The next morning, an excited Bowser paraded eagerly into Ludwig’s workroom, with Kamek trotting urgently behind him. "King Bowser," Kamek insisted, "you can’t expect us to be anywhere close to finishing the experiment. We only started last night, sire. We haven’t had the time."
"Time would cease to be a problem, Kamek," Bowser shot back icily, "if you and my esteemed son would hurry up and finish this contraption."
"Then perhaps, King Dad," Ludwig offered, looking up from his work, "you vould like to try to build this yourself to help speed up our progress."
Bowser gave Ludwig a look that would’ve chilled a greaper. "Don’t get smart with me, Ludwig. Just tell me how long it’s going to be before this device is ready."
"It vill be ready vhen ve’ve done the proper spatio-temporal plots to determine the exact location of the aperture’s other end, but I can’t tell you vhen that vill be. Temporal physics and quantum mechanics are not things to be guessed at lightly."
Bowser fiercely rolled his fiery eyes. "Listen carefully, Ludwig. I don’t care about the temperatures of mechanics or whatever you just said. I want this machine operational. So you two need to finish it ASAP. Understood?"
"Right," Ludwig sighed. "I suppose you vill expect test runs by the end ov the day."
"Kamek, can it be done?"
"Well, sire, the components are all in place. In theory we could activate it now, but..."
"You could?!"
"King Bowser, please, hear me," Kamek urged. "If we did, it would be impossible to predict what would happen. We don’t know whether the aperture would be stable enough to allow transport, we don’t know where and when it would open up, and finally, we don’t even know if we can contain the wormhole’s event horizon. For all we know the portal could expand exponentially and fill up the room, the castle, there’s no way to say it wouldn’t swallow up the planet."
Bowser grumbled to himself for a few moments. "Very well, very well. Ludwig, give me your best guess how long I’m going to have to keep waiting before this machine is safe to use."
"That’s easy," Ludwig replied quickly. "It von’t be safe EVER!"
"Just indulge me, Ludwig."
"Best-case scenario?" Ludwig questioned.
"Indeed."
"I vill be optimistic and say three days, but that is assuming ewerything goes right the first time."
"You have two days, you two," Bowser responded flatly. "And if it isn’t ready for use by the end of that time frame, you’ll both be cleaning Reznor pens in Desert Land until I figure out how to finish your work. Understood?"
"My, my," Ludwig muttered. "Ve vould be there for centuries."
"Understood?" Bowser restated forcefully.
"Yes, sire," Kamek gulped.
"Vhatewer you say," Ludwig sighed.
"Excellent. I’ll be back in two days," Bowser snarled as he turned to leave.
"Well," Kamek sighed as soon as Bowser was out of earshot, "I suppose we should get to work."
"Right," Ludwig huffed. "Vell, the first thing to tend to is setting the tachyon-neutrino intermix levels."
"I thought you had already taken care of that," Kamek corrected.
Ludwig shook his head. "So did I, but look at the intermix chamber. The neutrinos, by nature, spin 50 percent clockvise and 50 percent counterclockvise. Vell, for the tachyon injection process to be successful they must be spinning at least 95 percent in the same direction."
"Right," Kamek nodded. "That’s why we used your... your..."
"Quantum flux inhibitor," Ludwig finished. "But look. The spins are 75 percent clockvise, 25 percent counterclockvise. The inhibitor does not have enough pover, so ve have so far been unable to achieve proper intermix lewels."
"I may have a spell that can help," Kamek pondered, rapping his wand against his chin as he thought. "Perhaps, if I were to use an accello charm on the inhibitor, it would give it the extra boost."
Ludwig cringed. "Magic and technology: I hate that combination."
"Well, Prince," Kamek coaxed, "I see no other alternative. That is, after all, why your father assigned me to help you."
Ludwig sunk his single tooth into his lip. "Wery vell, but I don’t like it."
Kamek nodded and turned toward the steel ring that was to form the aperture’s boundaries when the machine was activated. "Here’s hoping it works," he whispered to himself and began to chant.
*****
Mario awoke the next morning from a nightmare with a start. "Where...? What the...?" he murmured in confusion before realizing with a sigh of relief where he was. He was in still in the palace courtyard, with Peach still sound asleep beside him. "It was just a dream," he whispered to calm himself down. "That’s all, a dream."
"What was a dream, my love?" Peach asked softly, having been awakened by Mario.
"I don’t know what it was," Mario replied, shuddering as he recalled his nightmare, "but I saw... well, creatures. Partly machine, partly alive, on a flying ship of some kind."
"Like a doomship?" Peach asked, genuinely concerned.
Mario shook his head. "No, it wasn’t like a doomship at all. It was all metal, and more graceful than a Koopa Ship. And these... things... were flying around the world on it, and everywhere they went they just..." He shuddered again. "They made everyone and everything into something like them. Not really dead, but not alive either, and more like machines than living things. I don’t know how to describe it."
As Mario continued to shake, Peach placed a hand gently on his shoulder. "Mario, it was a dream. Don’t worry about it."
Somehow this fact, however undeniable, was little consolation to Mario. "But it was so real. And I saw..." He turned toward Peach as though afraid to say what he saw.
"It’s okay darling," Peach reassured him. "Tell me."
Mario hesitated, clutching Peach’s hand tightly. "I saw them take you." Pausing to swallow, he continued. "They took you and they... they did whatever it was that they did to everything else. They made you one of them, and I couldn’t stop them." A tear rolled down Mario’s face in spite of his best effort otherwise. "I just couldn’t stop them."
Peach waited a minute for Mario to calm down. "Mario," she said soothingly again, "it was just a dream. Nothing more."
"But it was more real than any other dream I’ve ever had," Mario insisted. "It was like..." Mario’s face slowly became a mask of horror as a new thought forced its way into his mind. "What if it wasn’t a dream?"
Peach looked confused. "How could it not be a dream?"
Mario turned to face her. "Haven’t the Seven Star Spirits done that before? I mean, given people dreams that are really visions of the future?"
Peach thought for a moment. "Well, yes, they have. But what makes you think this was a premonition?"
Mario shook his head slowly. "I don’t know," he replied, looking away. "Maybe it wasn’t, but still..." He found himself unable to finish that sentence.
"Mario," Peach said softly, turning Mario’s head back toward her. "Relax. It was only a dream. I’m sure of it."
"But how can you be sure?" Mario half-whimpered.
Peach smiled. "Because what could possibly happen to me while Super Mario is around to protect me?"
Slowly the smile returned to Mario’s face. "I guess you’re right," he sighed. "It was just a dream."
"There you go," Peach said cheerily, kissing Mario on the tip of his round nose. "Now let’s get back to the castle. They’re probably looking for us."
*****
"Vhat in the vorld... Kamek," Ludwig called nervously as the power readouts in front of him began to flicker, "Vhat are you doing?"
Kamek looked up confusedly from his spellbook. "Nothing, Prince," he replied. "Why?"
"Because something is causing the machine to power-up."
"What?!" Kamek cried, leaping to his feat. "Shut it down, quickly!"
"I can’t," Ludwig shouted. "There’s nothing to shut down. It isn’t ewen hooked up to the pover cells. I don’t know vhat’s going on."
"It must’ve been the accello charm," Kamek muttered. "It’s running off of my magic."
"Then rewerse the spell, before it opens the aperture."
Before Kamek could reply, there was a faint bluish glow from the air within the aperture’s gate, followed by a low whine. "Too late," Kamek announced unnecessarily. "Well, at least King Bowser will get what he wanted.
Ludwig turned back toward his readouts. "I’m not so certain ov that."
"What do you mean?"
"Because the amount of pover flowing into the intermix chamber is increasing exponentially, and the gate isn’t going to contain the ewent horizon for much longer. In fact in just a few..." His voice trailed off and sweat poured down his face as he turned to face the now blindingly bright glow from the gate. "Umm, Kamek?"
"Yes?"
"RUN!"
*****
**Author’s Note: For all you Trekkers out there who are keeping track, this picks up in the aftermath of the movie First Contact.**
Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Starship U.S.S. Enterprise walked off the bridge of his battered ship and into his ready-room and sighed. "My God, what a day," he groaned as he sat down behind his desk for a much-needed rest. Over the course of two days he and his crew had traveled 300 years back in time to battle the Federation’s deadliest foe, an organo-cybernetic hive called the Borg, and the very future they knew hung in the balance. Through what Picard could only assume had been a miracle they had defeated the Borg by eliminating the queen of their hive. Upon her death, the rest of their collective consciousness began to shut down, and the hive, so far as the crew could tell, was wiped out.
I just hope this was truly the last we’ll see of them, Picard thought darkly. It was true, the Borg queen was dead, but Picard had seen her die before. The Borg, he had to admit, had a way of striking back when they were least expected. His mind finally began to unravel itself after the nightmarish conflict of the previous two days, followed by the euphoric thrill of the last few hours. "Computer," he ordered and was rewarded with the distinct "beep" of the ship’s computer responding to a voice command, "open Captain’s Personal log."
"Personal log open," replied the computer in its characteristic female voice.
After a short pause, Picard began to recount the events since his last entry. "Captain’s Personal Log, April 5, 2063: I have to wonder how many historians would give years off of their lives for a glimpse of what my crew and I have seen over the last two days. We’ve been given a once in a lifetime opportunity to witness the turning point of humanity’s history first-hand, and I know I’m not alone in saying I only wish we could have stayed longer. However, our own time is waiting for us, and with what I sincerely hope is the final defeat of the Borg, we are on our way back to-"
"Bridge to Captain Picard," the rugged Alaskan voice of Commander William Riker rang clearly over the intercom.
With a sigh, Captain Picard tapped the receive button on his communicator badge. "Picard here," he reported, hiding his annoyance under years of understanding that a Captain’s work was never done.
"Sorry to bother you sir," Riker apologized, "but you’re needed on the bridge."
"I’m on my way," Picard replied, closing the transmission. "Computer," he commanded as he turned toward the door of his quarters, "delete personal log."
*****
"So Data," Commander Riker’s deliberately calm, professional voice failed to hide his confusion, "what does this mean?"
"I am not certain," Lieutenant Commander Data, a pale-faced, gold-eyed android, responded in his usual matter-of-fact manner. "It is a most peculiar phenomenon."
"What is a most peculiar phenomenon, Mr. Data?" Captain Picard jumped straight into the conversation as he stepped regally onto the bridge, adjusting his uniform.
"Captain," Data reported, "sensors are picking up a fluctuation in the temporal vortex in which we are travelling."
Picard looked confused. "What kind of fluctuation?"
Data shook his head. "I can find no record of any phenomenon of this nature. Somehow, the vortex appears to be... rerouting itself at a certain point in space-time. The anomaly is directly ahead."
Picard looked up at the viewscreen taking up the front wall of the bridge. "On screen," he commanded. Instantly the viewscreen came to life, showing the simmering silver-gray vortex surrounding the ship, created by chronometric particles and patterned after the one the Borg had used to send the ship back in time. But amid the silver current there was something else, something the ship had not encountered on its previous trip through the vortex: a blinding blue light taking up nearly all the viewer.
"At present speed," Data reported, "we will pass through the anomaly in less than a minute."
"All stop," Picard ordered instantly.
Data shook his head once more. "I am unable to stop, or to change our trajectory."
"Shields up," Picard commanded. "All hands, brace for impact."
*****
"Ludwig," Bowser snarled at his son, "Answer me slowly. Precisely what do you mean ‘overloaded’?"
"Something vent wrong vith the temporal portal," Ludwig replied with all the calm he could muster, "and it opened vithout our intentions. But there vas some kind of pover surge and the aperture broke its containment device. The portal is still expanding, and ve can’t stop it."
Bowser clenched his fist around the arm of his throne until he cracked a skull that had once belonged to a hapless Mushroomer. "Evacuate the laboratory section of the castle," he ordered a nearby Koopa Troopa. "See that they-"
Bowser was interrupted by an Earth-shattering roar as the south wall of the lab section, unable to withstand the stress of the expanding portal, exploded in a single blast. Bowser, Kamek, and Ludwig’s heads turned as one toward the window of the throne room to see the remnants of the granite columns that once formed the lab's main supports flying away from the castle at mach speed, with a brilliant bluish glow emanating from where they once stood. "I tried to tell you this vas a bad idea," Ludwig muttered gloomily.
Before Bowser could reply there was a faint rumbling sound from the portal.
"What now?" Bowser demanded.
"Something’s coming from the portal," Ludwig replied. "Something enormous."
At that moment there was a flash of light, brilliantly bright even compared to the glow already emanating from the portal. Bowser was about to shield his eyes from it when it subsided and a massive, sleek metallic form burst forth from the portal, red hot from friction with the air as it soared over the castle and toward the nearby sea. "Ludwig," Bowser gasped in awe and terror, "what the Devil is that?!
*****
"Mr. Data," Picard shouted over the noise of alert sirens and fire control systems going off around the bridge, "status report?"
"We are entering an M-class atmosphere," Data replied, shouting over the noise. "Hull temperature is at 4000 degrees Centigrade and rising. Impulse Engines are off-line."
"Engage auxiliary thrusters," Picard demanded as Lieutenant Worf, the Klingon tactical officer, flew from his now-exploding post and sailed right between the Captain and Commander Riker, landing with a resounding thud on the floor beside Data’s station.
"Inoperative," Data reported. Data paused for a moment as the computer brought a new problem to his attention. "There is a large body of water directly ahead. I am attempting to level our descent."
"Seal the cargo bay doors," Picard ordered. "Increase the outer hull buoyancy and prepare for water landing." Picard scarcely had time to utter these orders before the ship rippled from stem to stern upon impact with the surface of the water.
"We are submerged," Data reported. "Attempting to bring us to the surface."
The bridge crew pulled themselves off the floor and stared intently at the forward viewscreen to see only a chaotic kaleidoscope of bubbles. For a few moments (moments that seemed to Picard to be an eternity) there was nothing but this. Finally, the tip of the ship’s saucer section broke the surface and the ship toppled back over onto its belly, sending a mammoth wave in all directions.
"Report," Picard commanded after a few moments silence.
"We are afloat," Data confirmed. "Life support is stable, warp and impulse drives are down, and the main computer is inoperable."
"Do we have maneuvering thrusters, Mr. Data?"
"Thrusters are at 15%, captain."
"Do we have enough power to get us to shore?" Picard sighed, cringing at the notion of having to ask such a question about the Federation Flagship.
"I believe so, Captain," Data replied. "But sir, it should be noted that the nearest landmass is densely populated."
Picard frowned. He knew what Data was implying. "Do this planet’s occupants possess warp capability?"
Data quickly analyzed what little information he was able to gather as the Enterprise hurtled down. "I do not believe so, Captain."
Picard took a deep breath and paused in thought. At length, he tapped the sending button of the communicator badge on his chest. "Bridge to Engineering," he announced. "Mr. LaForge, how long before we can acheive orbit again?"
"Captain," Lieutenant Commander Geordi LaForge replied petulantly, "we’re still trying to clean up the mess the Borg made down here. Right now we don’t even have a single clue what equipment was damaged. I’d say if we don’t get some help we’re looking at weeks before I can even get you a damage report, to say nothing about getting home."
"Acknowledged," Picard sighed. "Picard out." Giving the computer a few moments to close the transmission, Picard turned toward Commander Riker. "Violating the Prime Directive may be unavoidable at this point. I doubt these people will be of any assistance repairing the Enterprise, but we can’t sit out here in the middle of the sea."
"Of course, Sir," Riker agreed.
Straightening his uniform, Picard turned again to Data. "Mr. Data, lay in a course for the nearest suitable harbor," he cringed again at the reality of his situation, "to moor the ship."
"Aye Sir," Data responded and laid in the course.
*****
"Mario," Peach gasped as a colossal fireball sailed across the sky from Bowser’s Keep toward the Inner Sea, "did you see that?"
"Yeah," Mario nodded. "I saw it. What do you think it was?"
Peach shook her head. "I don’t know, but I think you were right about Bowser being up to something." Turning toward Mario, Peach recognized the look on his face. "Mario, no!" she ordered. "No. I forbid it. You’re not going to go anywhere near the sea where that fireball landed. Do you understand me?"
Mario glanced back toward her. "Peach, I really don’t see any other choice. If that thing was something Bowser conjured up, then I need to know what he’s cooking."
"But Mario..." Peach protested, only to be interrupted by Luigi as he bolted down the castle steps into the garden. "There you two are," he scolded. "The Chancellor’s been having kittens looking for you." Having delivered his lecture, he turned to Mario. "Did you see it?"
"How could I miss it?" was the reply.
"Any idea what it was?"
"Nope."
Luigi and Mario stood in silence for a moment before Luigi asked the obvious question, in a way that was more a statement than a question. "So we’re going to check it out, right?"
"You’d better believe it," Mario replied. Before Peach could protest any further Mario had already kissed her goodbye, and the brothers were bound for the inner sea at a full run.
"Fine," Peach called after them. Once they could no longer hear her she said more to herself than anyone else, "I’ll just go with you," and turned toward the palace’s armory. "One Super Leaf should do it."
*****
"Ludwig," Bowser groaned as he stared at the mysterious ship through a pair of binoculars, "what have you done?"
"I have made a grave mistake, King Dad," Ludwig answered sorrowfully. "I have followed your orders."
"Watch your tongue, Ludwig," Bowser barked. As Ludwig’s face stretched into a smug grin Bowser returned to his spying. "Ludwig," he beckoned his son to him, "come take a look at this." As Ludwig rolled his eyes, Bowser handed the binoculars to him. "Does it look to you like that thing’s moving this way?"
"Indeed it does," Ludwig replied, beginning to show interest.
"Any idea what it is yet?"
"No, King Dad, not yet, but... Vait, I can see some writing on the side ov the wessel."
"What does it say?" Bowser demanded.
"It looks like a name and... some kind ov identification number." Ludwig turned the lenses of the binoculars to focus in on the writing before reading aloud. "United Federation ov Planets, N,C,C, von, Sewen, Zero, von, E. U.S.S. Enterprise."
"United Federation of... Ludwig, do you know what this means?" Bowser gawked.
"Vell, it means you should listen to Kamek and myself from now on, for von thing."
"It means that’s a spaceship of some kind," Bowser elaborated, ignoring Ludwig. "That thing’s really from another world."
"And, it is likely, another time as vell," Ludwig noted. "Vhat’s your point?"
"My point, Ludwig," Bowser explained calmly, "is that whoever they are, they’re obviously a lot more advanced than we are. On the other hand, their ship seems to have taken quite a beating, and they’re going to need help," he grinned a chilling grin as he continued, "and who better to welcome them to this world and offer a helping claw than the benevolent Kingdom of Koopas?"
"Vhy do I get the feeling ve’re in for a long day?"
*****