A Test of Wills 2

By Lord Seth

Bob-omb: ...

Spiny: Okay, I figured it out. The one who isn't here is... Spiny!

Bob-Omb: Well, too bad Spiny isn't here anymore. I miss his idiocy already.

Boo Diddley: *sigh* You living creatures are so stupid...

Spiny: Hey! I take offense at that! ... At least I think I do.

Boo Diddley: To all those readers who haven't figured it out yet, Cheep Cheep is the one who's gone.

Spiny: Really? I was sure it was Spiny who disappeared...

Bob-omb: ...

Boo Diddley: Ah, thank you. I've always wondered what "..." sounds like, and you just told me. I KNOW THE ANSWER! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Boy, am I glad I don't have lungs.

Spiny: Hey! I don't have lungs, either! Watch!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA...

An hour later...

Spiny: ...HAHAHA! See?

Bob-omb: OKAY, how did you do that?

Spiny: I told you. I don't have lungs.

Bob-omb: But how could you DO that without lungs?

Spiny: Hey, Boo Diddley doesn't have lungs!

Bob-omb: Oh... right...

Spiny: And YOU don't have any!

Bob-omb: Actually, I do. They're just robot lungs.

Boo Diddley: What's the difference?

Bob-omb: I don't know. You think I know everything about myself?

Spiny: Yep.

Bob-omb: *sigh*

Boo Diddley: Now this is REALLY boring. I mean, beyond boring. Really, really, REALLY boring. This is so boring that if I were alive, I'd die. In fact, I think this is enough to bore me to life.

Bob-omb: Bore you to life?

Boo Diddley: Well what am I going to do, die AGAIN?

Spiny: Yeah! You'll die again!

Boo Diddley: How can you die if you're already dead?

Spiny: I don't know. I just wanted to say something.

Boo Diddley: I pity the living.

Spiny: So do I!

Boo Diddley: Spiny, you ARE the living!

Spiny: Oh.

Bob-omb: You know, I haven't blown up in a while. I wonder if I still can. I guess I should try to find out.

Spiny: NOOOO! Don't!

Bob-omb: You're hurting my feelings! *starts crying* That... makes... me... so sad!

Spiny and Boo Diddley scream and run away.

Boo Diddley: Why am I running anyway? I can't be hurt by a Bob-omb! I'm all... you know, that adjective for stuff you can go through.

Bob-omb: Ha! Got you, guys! I bet you really thought I was going to blow up, didn't you?

Spiny: Yes.

Boo Diddley: Yes.

Bob-omb: Really? I'm so mad...

A pause.

Bob-omb: Ha! I tricked you guys again!

Boo Diddley: This is going to be a LONG day.

Bob-omb: Well, duh! It's June 21, the longest day of the year!

Boo Diddley: It's a figure of speech! And PLEASE don't make that figure of speech joke where you take it literally and present a statue of the word "speech".

Spiny: Too late.

Boo Diddley: It's going to be a LONG day.

A day later...

Boo Diddley: I was right! It was long!

Spiny: This gets more and more cheesy as it goes on.

Bob-omb: Absolutely.

Day 7

Spiny: What a great dream! I dreamt that these ogres came and beat me up!

Boo Diddley: How is that a GOOD dream?

Spiny: I don't know. I wonder who vanished during the night. I know! It was me, wasn't it? It was me! Am I right?

Boo Diddley: This is going to be an even longer day.

Spiny: Actually, that's not true. You see, after June 21 the days keep getting shorter and shorter. That is, until December 21. At least I think it's December 21. Is it December 21? I think it is. But maybe I'm wrong.

Boo Diddley: Spiny, how can you be so intelligent about some things, but so amazingly stupid about others?

Spiny: I don't know. Ask someone other than me. Like myself, for instance.

Boo Diddley: This isn't going to be a longER day. It's going to be the longEST day.

Spiny: I object! He's leading the witness!

Boo Diddley: I can't decide if you're stupid or just crazy.

Spiny (sadly): I wish I knew.

Quite a bit later...

Boo Diddley: Wow! That went by quickly!

Spiny: YAHOO! I'M QUEEN OF THE WORLD!

Boo Diddley: Spiny, you're a GUY.

Spiny: So I can't be queen? IT'S DISCRIMINATION AND SHOULD BE STOPPED!

Boo Diddley: This is going to be a looooong hour.

One hour later...

Boo Diddley: That sure was long. Man! I mean, it felt like 216,000 seconds!

Spiny: One hour IS 216,000 seconds, you moron!

Boo Diddley: Why are YOU calling ME a moron?

Spiny: I don't know.

Boo Diddley: Exactly. I still don't get why you sometimes seem intelligent and yet at times are just so stupid.

Spiny: Oh well. Who cares?

Boo Diddley: Let's just skip to the end. This is getting boring.

Spiny: How does skipping to the end go quicker? Time still passes normally, you know. It just seems quicker to the outsiders.

Boo Diddley: Outsiders?

Spiny: You know... people... outside.

Day 8

Boo Diddley: The rest of that day went fast. Hey, wait, I'm still here! Woohoo! I win! Yeah! All those coins are mine! ALL MINE!

Boo Diddley leaves the house.

Lord Seth: Congratulations! You win the prize!

Boo Diddley: So I get one million coins?

Lord Seth: Well, see, we had a bit of a problem. We kind of came under some lawsuits so we lost the million coins. So, in its place, you win... uh... er... a lifetime of free tickets to my Interviews!

Boo Diddley: Oh, right! And then you're just going to cancel your Interview show soon afterwards so I only get to see a few Interviews, right?

Lord Seth: Great. He's onto me.

Boo Diddley: I don't get ANY coins?

Lord Seth: What would you with them anyway? They'd go right through you!

Boo Diddley: Oh. Anyway, so what DID happen to the other contestants?

Lord Seth: Other? Contestants?

Boo Diddley: You know, the other people in the house with me!

Lord Seth: Other? People?

Boo Diddley: You know, the... oh, never mind.

Lord Seth: You? Know? Never? Mind? You're confusing me.

Boo Diddley: This entire thing was completely pointless.

Lord Seth: Welcome to my world.

The End?

Did you like this submission?
If you would like to send some feedback to the author of this submission, please complete this form.

What's your name? 
This is required.

What's your Email address? 
Only enter this if you would like the author to respond.

How do you rate this submission? 
Please rate on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being best.

Does this submission belong in Little Lemmy's Land? 
Little Lemmy's Land is designed to include the top ten percent of submissions.

Would you like to see more from this author? 

Comments and suggestions:

 
ZY.Freedback.com: Stunning, fast, FREE!
FREE feedback form powered by Freedback.com
Freedback.com

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.