Kamekís Trap

By Double D

Artwork by Fried Rooster

Bowser woke up sweating. It was 3:00 AM. He had dreamt that the Marios had permanently destroyed him. After so many losses to Mario, he was now beginning to wonder if he should join him. After an early breakfast he came out into his courtyard and decided to take a stroll in his Koopa Copter over Dark Land to reassure himself that he was strong. All went well for a while. Then he saw a bright light below him, and decided to check it out. When he got to the spot, the light was gone. Wandering around, he came to the lava river that marked the end of Dark Land.

Bowser: HmmÖ nothing here. I guess it was just my imagination.

Kamek: Hello my gracious sir.

Bowser turned around to find Kamek there. Bowser soon became a little uneasy because Kamek had an evil grin on his face.

Bowser: What are you doing here?

Kamek: I decided to pay you a visit.

Bowser: Well, you should go right back and guard the castle.

Kamek: Ah, but I cannot do that. You see, Iím getting a little tired of being beaten by the Marios. So, I think Iím going to take charge of the Koopa Kingdom, and finally getting rid of the Marios.

Bowser: You canít do that! Iím the king!

Kamek: Oh, canít I?

Bowser, trying to catch Kamek offguard, breathed fire, but Kamek teleported behind him. Bowser tried everything he had, but he couldnít even touch Kamek. Finally, Kamek shot at Bowser with his wand, knocking him onto a small island in the middle of the lava river. Bowser roared loudly, and Kamek walked away laughing.
 

It was a fresh day, and Mario and Luigi were up and ready to have breakfast. After having breakfast, they set out and, not knowing what to do, decided to pay a visit to Princess Peach.

Mario: Hey Luigi, we havenít seen Princess Peach lately, so why donít we pay her a visit?

Luigi: Hey, thatís a great idea! Besides, Iím bored.

So Mario and Luigi started off. After not so long, they noticed something very unusual. There were quite a few Goombas and Koopas on the path.

Luigi: Hey Mario, why do you think there are so many enemies?

Mario: Well, usually there arenít this many enemies unless Bowser kidnaps Princess PeachÖ

Luigi: Are you thinking what Iím thinking?

Luigi did not have to say any more. Both started dashing towards the castle.

After not so long, they arrived at the castle to find it, like they expected, very quiet. After entering, they saw a note on a door.

Mario: Look, a note!

Luigi: It says, ďHey loser plumbers! Iíve got the princess, and if you want her back youíre going to have to meet my challenges.Ē

Mario: Well, it has never been hard before, so I guess weíd better find Bowser.

Kamek: Bowserís not here you dum-dums!

Mario and Luigi turned around to find Kamek hovering over them. Kamek charged up a lightning spell (like Ludwigís from Ludwigís Time Machine), but to their surprise, Kamek pointed it at the ground. A huge bolt of lightning came through the roof and made a gaping hole in the floor. The Mariosí jaws dropped as they saw Princess Peach gagged and tied in a secret room in the floor. Before the Marios could do anything, Kamek magically closed up the gap.

Kamek: If you want the princess, youíll have to escape my trap.

Mario: What trap?

Kamek: The one you fell for!

Before the Marios could do anything, Kamek waved his wand and disappeared. Mario and Luigi now found themselves inside a huge video game level. Mario and Luigi quickly cleared it, but when they jumped in the warp pipe, it led back to the beginning of the level.

Mario: I think weíre in trouble!

Luigi: Oh no! Why canít we get out of here?

Mario: Kamek must have sealed the level.

Luigi: Kamekís spells are usually defective, so there must be a way out!

Mario: I donít know. This is a very weird world; there arenít even enemies!

Luigi: Thatís it! There arenít any enemies, so you must have to complete goals to get out of here!

Mario: That would explain why the note said to meet his challenge. I bet youíre right, Luigi!

Luigi: Well, letís look for clues!

Mario and Luigi spent hours repeating the level to look for clues. After a long time, they came back, panting.

Mario: Did you find anything Luigi?

Luigi: Nothing! There arenít even any items!

Mario: Hey, that just gave me an idea! Remember I told you that in Super Mario 64 I could pound those posts in to get a prize? Well, I saw some posts on that hill over there; maybe thatís what we need to do!

Luigi nodded his head in agreement, and the two soon were at the poles. Once Mario and Luigi had stomped the poles, a sign appeared.

Mario: It says, ďWrong order! I know youíll never get it right, so hereís a hint: Criss-Cross, Apple sauceĒ

Luigi: We have to get them in order?!

Mario: Well, lets try it again.

After completing the course and coming back to the poles, Luigi thought hard about what the clue meant.

Luigi: What could he mean by criss-cross apple sauce?

Mario: Itís simple. Have you noticed that the poles are arranged in an X pattern? Well, criss-cross apple sauce means we have to pound them diagonally.

Luigi: Thatís too easy!

Mario pounded the poles diagonally and the sign was replaced by another one. A warp pipe also sprang up.

Luigi: Hey, cool! Letís go!

Mario: Wait! Letís read this sign first. It says, ďGrrÖ You figured it out! Well, you wonít figure out the next one!Ē

Luigi: Thereís another one?!

Mario: Well, it canít be much harder.

Mario and Luigi jumped in the warp pipe and quickly found themselves back at the beginning.

Luigi: What?! How can we be back at the same level?!

Mario: Donít get too excited, Luigi! I think thereís something moving up ahead.

Mario and Luigi got to the place Mario mentioned and there was an enemy there. Mario quickly stomped it, and they found more enemies ahead. When they came to the last stretch they saw a huge Koopa. The Koopa saw them and went into his shell. The Koopa spun around, gathering momentum. Mario and Luigi thought fast and ran in different directions. Mario and Luigi looked back and, to their amazement, saw two Koopas, each half the size of the original one. The Koopas now charged. Mario and Luigi jumped, but the Koopas jumped also. Mario and Luigi were hit. The Koopas now stopped, giving Mario and Luigi time to stomp them. The Koopas retracted, and Mario and Luigi sent them flying off the course. Just when Mario and Luigi thought they were done, they heard a loud boom behind them, and the ground vibrated. They turned around to see the big Koopa that they started with standing there. Mario and Luigi were confused, but they came at it again. The Koopa split up again, Mario and Luigi took damage, and the koopas rested. Mario and Luigi now had a different idea. The Marios stomped the Koopas, and sent them flying at each other. The Koopas' shells cracked. The Koopas came out of their shells and started to spin again. Mario and Luigi noticed they sustained less damage this time. Now they knew what to do. The Mario stomped the Koopas, and sent them flying at each other. The Koopas shells were now almost ready to fall off. The Koopas got back up, and repeated their routine. The Marios did their routine also, and this time, the shells came off completely, and disappeared. The Koopas were now faster, but the Marios noticed that they could not attack. Mario stomped one Koopa, and Luigi stomped the other. Now both Koopas were gone.

Mario: Whew! Iím glad thatís over!

Luigi: Hey Mario! Look at that little cave over there. I think I see a ? Block.

Mario: Here, let me seeÖ youíre right Luigi! Iíll go see whatís in there.

Mario came back with two Mushrooms.

Mario: There were two ? Blocks. There was a Mushroom in each one.

Luigi: These will heal us.

Mario: Hey, look! Thereís the warp pipe and sign.

Luigi: Iíll read it. It says, ďShoot! You got it again! Well, at least youíll never get through the last oneÖĒ Oh great! Another one!

Mario: Well, at least itís the last one.

Mario and Luigi jumped into the warp pipe and found themselves inside a different level. This time, there was snow all around them and they were inside a case of ice.

Luigi: Oh no! Quick; get back in the warp pipe!

Mario: Itís already gone! Gosh, I donít know how to get out of here. There are no openings, and no items to help us.

Luigi: Hey, wait a sec. If this is ice, then we can melt it with fireballs!

Mario: Why didnít I think of that?

Luigi: How should I know?

Mario: Itís just an expression! Now help me melt this.

Mario and Luigi shot about ten fireballs each, and the ice was melted enough. They hurried out, to see a huge mountain covered in snow. There was a small door in the side, and the Marios hurried to that. They soon saw it was locked, and there was a sign.

Mario: The sign says, ďYou forgot to look for the key, you fools!Ē

Luigi: Of course! Well, letís start looking.

Mario and Luigi quickly got to the end of the course. A giant snowman rose up. Luigi stepped back, but Mario started running circles around it. The snowman got smaller and smaller until it fell over and sank back into the snow. A small hole opened up, and the key popped out.

Mario: Well, that was easy.

Luigi: Now, letís get in that mountain and see what we have to do.

Mario and Luigi unlocked the door to the mountain and climbed in. There was a small room, and a flight of stairs that extended for as far as they could see up the mountain.

Luigi: We have to climb those?!

Mario: Donít worry. I imagine there isnít much more after that. Well, letís get going.

After an hour or two of climbing stairs, the Marioís were exhausted, and the stairs still went on as far as they could see.

Luigi: *pant* How could there be this many stairs, even if it is a mountain? *pant*

Mario: Geez. *pant* I think this is a trap.

Luigi: Hey, wait a minute. *pant* Why can I still see the bottom? *pant*

Mario: I knew *pant* it! Itís a never *pant* ending staircase!

Luigi: Hey, Mario. Look at this *pant* picture of Kamek. When I *pant* touch it, it ripples *pant*.

Mario: Thatís what weíre looking for! In Super Mario 64 *pant*, pictures rippled when they were portals to *pant* another level!

Luigi: Well then, letís *pant* go!

Mario: Wait. We need to replenish our health. *pant*

Luigi: Hey Mario, that *pant* board down there is loose. Why donít you try pounding *pant* it?

Mario pounded the loose board and sure enough, there was a secret room with two Max Mushrooms for both of them. They ate them, and advanced to the picture.
 

It had been daylight for a long time now. No one usually went near the border lava pit, so Bowser was still on that little island. Bowser was very frustrated at himself; he couldnít even beat his subject. Bowser let it out by breathing fire continually, over and over, at the side of the lava river. The river was a few feet below the ground, so Bowser had no chance of climbing out, or so Bowser thought. For as Bowser blew fire at the top of the small cliff, some of the rock broke off. It left a good-sized gap, and it reminded Bowser of a stair. Stair? Of course! Thatís how he would get out! Bowser breathed fire farther and farther down until there was a little walkway that resembled a staircase. Bowser jumped onto the first ďstepĒ and climbed it to the top. He headed straight for his Koopa Copter (still parked close by), jumped in, and headed for Peachís Castle, for that was the direction Kamek had headed in.

Hearing no activity, Bowser stepped out in front of Peachís Castle. Upon going in, he began to search the castle, but he found nothing. Bowser sat down on a step, wondering what to do. He thought he heard a faint voice, but he ignored it. Now he heard the voice again, louder this time. It was coming from the floor in front of him. Wondering what was going on, he stomped the floor below him. It immediately caved in, revealing the secret floor with Peach in it. Both Bowser and Peach were surprised, but Bowser got over it and quickly carried Peach off.
 

Mario: Where are we?

Luigi: Donít ask me!

Mario and Luigi had jumped into the moving picture and had found themselves in a blurry world. After a few seconds, the blurriness was gone, and they saw that they were back at their own house.

Mario: Look! Our house!

Luigi: We made it out of that trap world!

Mario: Quick! We need to get to Peachís Castle!

The Mario Brothers got to Peachís castle in the same state as before: empty.

Mario: Why isnít she here?

Luigi: Mario! What about that secret room?

Mario: Oh my gosh! I forgot about that!

Mario and Luigi returned and found a big hole they hadnít noticed before over where the secret room was. Mario and Luigi looked down to see that the chair the princess had been on was empty.

Luigi: Great! Kamek took her away before we could get here!

Mario: What should we do now?

Just then they heard a sound behind them. They turned around to find Kamek behind them. Kamek did not say a thing and finally blasted his wand at the brothers. Mario and Luigi, being at peak health, easily dodged. This kept going for a long time, until Kamek used his wand to create a force field around Mario. Now only Luigi was left. Thinking fast, Luigi shot some fireballs at Kamekís wand, knocking it out of his hand. Luigi shot some fireballs at Kamek to keep him from recovering it, and grabbed the wand. Now that the wand was no longer in Kamekís hand, the force field was gone, and Mario stood ready to shot fireballs at Kamek if he made any funny moves.

Mario: Tell us where the princess is or weíll let you have it.

Kamek motioned for his wand. As Mario stood ready to attack if something happened, Luigi cautiously gave Kamek the wand. Kamek used the lightning attack to break the floor into the secret room.

Mario: Donít even try it! We know you took the princess, and that sheís not in there.

Kamek: Are you sure?

Luigi: Mario, why donít we lock Kamek up until heíll tell us where the princess is?

Mario: Soundís good to me. You heard that, Kamek, now move!

Kamek hopped down into the room, with Luigi keeping a watchful eye. Kamek now sealed himself in, while Mario and Luigi discussed the situation.

Luigi: We should come back tomorrow so heíll suffer and be ready to tell us where Peach is.

Mario: WellÖ I guess so. But one of us should keep guard.

Luigi: Why? Thereís no way he can get out.

Mario: Okay. But youíd better be right!

Mario and Luigi left and were greeted by a Bob-omb. It exploded, and a note fell to the ground.

Luigi: It says, ďHa! Guess who? Iíve got the princess and if you want her back, youíll have to defeat me!Ē That could only mean that BowserÖ

Mario: He snatched the princess! Hey, wait! Kamek can warp, canít he? If he can, heíll be out of there by now!

Mario and Luigi got to the secret room, and sure enough, Kamek was gone.

Mario: Great! Now we have two problems!

With that, they hurried off to Bowserís Castle.
 

Bowser had hidden himself in the secret room in the castle.  The only ones who knew about this room were him, his family, and Kamek. If Kamek were to come, he would be ready. Princess Peach was in the corner, trying to scream. All was wellÖ for now. Suddenly Bowser heard a voice outside. He knew it could mean trouble, so he went out. That was exactly what the visitor wanted him to do. Bowser looked up and saw Kamek hovering over him. Kamek wasted no time. Immediately he started charging up the lightning attack. Bowser did not know exactly what Kamek was doing, but acted quickly by breathing fire. Kamek warped away, and started charging up again. This gave Bowser an idea. Bowser jumped up, and breathed fire. Kamek had to warp away again.  owser kept doing this until he was close to Kamek, then he swiped. Kamek had gotten so used to the routine that he could not dodge the swipe. Kamek was thrown to the side, and damaged. Before Kamek could get up, Bowser breathed fire. Kamek was hit, and thrown far back, barely missing a lava pit. Kamek made himself transparent and started charging the lightning attack again. Bowser quickly got down and curled up in a ball. The lightning attack hit his shell, so it did not do much damage. Kamek managed to hit Bowser a few times with his wand before the transparency wore off. Bowser quickly breathed fire, preventing Kamek from becoming transparent yet. Bowser went crazy, and started attacking with everything he had. Kamek finally managed to throw Bowser off, only to get his wand knocked out off his hand by Bowser. Bowser stomped the wand, crushing it and making it useless. Bowser now had no trouble defeating Kamek, since he could not warp, become transparent, or attack. Bowser looked at Kamek lying on the floor, beaten. He smiled and went to check on Princess Peach. Bowser went back to the secret room and found that the princess had loosened her ropes and run away while Kamek and him were fighting. Bowser stomped out, his face beet red.
 

Mario and Luigi were more than halfway to Bowserís Castle when they saw Peach wandering around, trying to find her way back home.

Mario: Peach?!

Peach: Mario? Is that you?

Mario: Yes! Luigi is with me, and we were going to come and save you! How did you escape?

Peach: Bowser and Kamek were fighting, and while they were distracted, I snuck out.

Luigi: Wow! Great thinking Peach!

Mario: Bowser and Kamek were fighting?!

Peach: Yes! I snuck out in time to see Bowser win, so I bet he is after me.

Mario: We better go in there and defeat him!

Bowser: Not so fast, Super Loser!

Luigi: Bowser! How did you get here so fast?

Bowser: Did you forget I have a Clown Copter?

Mario: Peach, you get back there. Me and Luigi will take Bowser.

Peach: But I want to help!

Mario: You are likely to get scorched if you fight!

Bowser: Why donít you face me and get it over with? Thereís no way you can avoid the beating Iím going to give you!

Mario: Come on Luigi! Letís just beat him and get home.

While Mario was talking to Luigi, Bowser breathed fire at Mario. Mario got hit, but was more mad than hurt. Mario started throwing fireballs like mad, while Luigi was grabbing Bowser by the tail. Luigi picked Bowser up and threw him into a pit. Bowser got up and charged, showing no sign of being hurt. The Marios kept throwing Bowser until they could not fight any more.

Mario: How come you arenít defeated already? We must have thrown you a hundred times!

Bowser: Bwahahahahaha! Iím invincible!

Luigi: Youíre what?!

Bowser: I stepped on Kamekís wand and it made me invincible! Now I can finally beat you plumber scum!

Bowser continued using regular attacks since he did not need any special attacks. Mario and Luigi couldnít hurt him a bit. Mario and Luigi became so worn out that they considered giving up.

Mario: Luigi, remember that Kamekís spells are usually *pant* defective? There must be a way to defeat him! *pant*

Luigi: Try his head!

This did not work.

Mario: Maybe his legs?

This did not work either.

Luigi: His shell! I bet thatís *pant* it!

Mario did a cape attack while Luigi went around the back side and threw fireballs at Bowserís shell. Although Bowser did not notice it, there was a black mark on his shell from the fireball.  Luigi started unleashing a barrage of fireballs. When Bowser turned around, Mario started firing his fireballs. Mario and Luigi kept this up until Bowser was defeated.

Mario: Iím glad weíre done with that!

Luigi: Me too! I was starting to get a headache.

Just then, Mario was hit by something and fell forwards. Luigi turned around and was hit by the same thing. They both looked up to see Kamek charging the lightning attack. The brothers had noticed it too late, for instantly Kamek fired it at them. They were thrown in opposite directions, and damaged quite a bit.

Mario: How did you get here?

Kamek answered with several blasts with his wand. Mario tumbled backward, and jumped up. So did Luigi. They got ready to fire. Kamek made himself invisible, but was hit anyway because Mario saw his wand. Kamek was thrown back, and instantly charged a lightning attack.  Mario hit the wand just before Kamek fired it at them, causing him to conjure the wrong spell and make a Hammer Brother Suit fall. Mario picked it up, and started throwing hammers. Kamek got hit by one and tumbled backwards, losing his wand. Mario tried to grab it, but was too slow with the Hammer Bros. Suit on. Kamek picked it up, made himself transparent, and started a long spell. Mario and Luigi sat, ready to dodge anything, but began to get uneasy at how long the spell was taking. Now Kamek raised his wand high in the air, and two gigantic Amps (balls of electricity) appeared. Kamek pointed his wand first at Luigi, then at Mario. One Amp raced at each. Luigi managed to outrun his Amp, but Mario still had the suit on and was too slow, so he was hit. There was a loud zap. Luigi looked over to see Mario on the ground with his clothes black, defeated.

Now Luigi was very scared. The Amps were gaining on him. Luigi knocked the wand out of an unsuspecting Kamekís hand, then let Kamek get to it. Kamek charged the lightning attack, then Luigi hit the wand, causing it to drop another Hammer Bros. Suit. Luigi quickly put it on, for he had a plan. Luigi tossed hammers at the Amps. The hammers became electrified, and both Amps popped. Luigi picked up the hammers, and tossed them at Kamek. Kamek was not ready, and sustained heavy damage. Kamek soon got up and started conjuring Amps again. As soon as Kamek was about to conjure the Amps, Luigi threw a hammer, causing the spell to malfunction again.  Luigi saw a Pick-Me-Up drop down. Luigi put it in his pocket for later. Luigi now picked up the other electrified hammer. Luigi tossed it, but Kamek used his wand to throw it back at Luigi. Luigi dodged, and the hammer fell into a lava pit. Kamek got his wand and energized himself. Kamek rushed forward and repeatedly hit Luigi with the wand. Luigi tried to defend himself, but Kamek was too fast. Luigi only had one thing he could do. He tossed fireballs, throwing Kamek back, then he tossed lots at Kamekís wand until it exploded. Kamek was now just barely hanging on, but without his wand he didnít stand a chance. Luigi was soon able to overpower Kamek and defeat him. Luigi rushed over to Mario, and gave him the Pick-Me-Up.

Mario: UhgÖ what happened?

Luigi: Oh just the usual. You got hit by an Amp, and I saved the dayÖ

Mario: Hey! I could've beaten that Amp if I wanted to! I just wanted to see how you would do without me there!

Luigi: SureÖ

Mario: Hey Peach, you can come out now!

Luigi: ... Hey, why isnít she coming out?

Mario and Luigi walked over to the spot where Peach had been hiding and found a note.

Note: ďMario and Luigi, I left because I didnít want to see the battle. Iíll be at the castle waiting with a big surprise.Ē

Luigi: Letís get over there!

When they got to Peachís Castle they found Toad there waiting for them.

Toad: Well, you finally made it! I was going to have some troops go looking for you if you didnít come back soon. Why donít you go on in; the princess is waiting.

Mario: Hey, maybe she has pasta waiting for us!

Luigi: Mario!

The two came inside to find Peach with fresh Kerokero Cola for them and a pizza.

Mario: PIZZA!

Luigi: Mario! Can you only think about food?!

Mario: Yes!

Everyone laughed and sat down to eat.
 

Kamek sat alone in the dungeon. After that little escapade, Kamek had been sentenced to five months in jail, and would have to step down from his position as head Magikoopa. Kamek had been moping around all day, trying to figure out how to get out of there. His wand was destroyed, and as far as he knew Bowser would never give him a new one. There was no drain, vent, or pipe. Kamek was stuck, and there was no way out of it. All he could do was wait out his dungeon time.

Kamek: Iíll never rebel againÖ neverÖ neverÖ hey look, a Bob-omb.  A Bob-omb! Now I can get out of here!

Kamek picked up the Bob-omb and found a note on the side of it.

Note: ďKamek, just in case you found this, this one last little hope for getting outÖ forget it!Ē

The Bob-omb lit, and quickly ate up the fuse.

Kamek: GreatÖ

BOOM!

The End

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