Roy: Welcome, losers, to week 3. I'm supposed to host this week's stupid event, so let's get to it! Okay, first off, each of the teams select a driver for Mario Kart today!
Selections:
Team Dream: Birdo
Team Bean: Boomerang Bro
Team Minion: Magikoopa
Team Shyguy: Shy Guy
Team Fright: King Boo
Team Wario: Wario
Team Machine: Smithy
Roy: Okay, will the losers driving please line up at the starting line while the other idiots get in their team pit stops?
Everyone does so. Except Goomba, who makes an observation.
Goomba: Wait a second. There are supposed to be eight drivers in Mario Kart.
Roy: I have that handled! Martin said if I entered, scored 5 points or higher, and a team was eliminated, Team Koopa would be traded back on for whoever is in last at the end of the day, as well as get all their points!
Goomba: That's not fair!
Roy: Too bad!
Goomba runs off and Roy gets in a kart.
Roy: 1, 2, 3, GO!
Birdo starts with the lead, followed by Shy Guy, then Roy, then King Boo, then Smithy, then Wario, then Magikoopa, and lastly Boomerang Bro.
Shy Guy: Um, excuse me, lady who's in front of me, will you let me pass you? Please?
Birdo: Uh, sure, wait just a- hey, wait a minute!
Roy pulls out a Koopa Shell he had tucked in the dashboard of the kart and throws it at Birdo. Everyone but Magikoopa and Boomerang Bro manage to pass her.
Birdo: So that's how he wants to play?
Birdo spits an egg at Roy, sending him into a wall. She slams her foot on the petal and soon catches up to Shy Guy at first. Shy Guy picks up a Spiny Shell as Birdo passes.
Shyguy: Huh, I wonder what this does...
He throws it forward. It hits Birdo, sending her into the air along with King Boo, who ran into it right past Shy Guy.
Shy Guy: Uh, I should go faster now...
Meanwhile, Wario, Smithy, and Roy are fighting heavily for fourth place. Smithy shoots Magnum at Roy's tire, sending him into the air. At this time, Birdo, Shy Guy, and King Boo have entered their pitstop to get the car taken care of. Smithy doesn't stop since he gives off gas: he just plugs a cord that comes out of his head into the gas tank and passes them. Roy is the only other one who has enough gas to finish the race without stopping, so he goes on. Wario quickly gets gas, then goes on and pulls out a Bob-omb.
Wario: (tossing Bob-omb) I'm-a gonna win!
Everyone ahead of him except Smithy is blown into the air. Wario floors it, and soon gets near Smithy.
Wario: Take this!
Wario slams into Smithy, sending him straight into a wall. He hits it and gets his hand stuck inside it.
Wario: Heheheh!
Wario approaches the finish line when suddenly Shy Guy, King Boo, and Birdo approach.
Wario: Take this!
Wario throws another Bob-omb, but too close. All four are blown past the finish line in this order:
Wario
Shy Guy
Birdo
King Boo
Roy comes closing in on 5th, and takes it, with Boomerang Bro coming in right behind him. Smithy follows Boomerang, and Magikoopa takes last from here.
Scores:
Team Wario: +10= 26
Team Shyguy: +9= 43
Team Dream: +8= 62
Team Fright: +6= 36
Roy: +4
Team Bean: +3= 49
Team Machine: +2=10
Team Minion: +0= 35
Roy: No! WHY?! Okay, in that case, for our next contest, you're all going to work together with your teams to tear down a giant stone statue of Larry! The team who finishes their's first wins!
Martin: And I'm taking over from here.
All of the teams go into colored rooms wth their name on the door and inside find a giant Larry statue.
At Team Shy Guy...
Shy Guy: Okay, uh, Laser Snifit, Ice Snifit, Snifits, try working together. You know, if you don't mind...
Snifit 1: You got it!
The five Snifits begin shooting at it, with part of one of the arms eventually chipping off.
Shy Guy: Yay!
Ninji: Boing!
Ninji jumps on the statue, knocking its head off somehow. Beezo looks inside the head.
Shy Guy: Ninji must be able to bust the statue thing with his weight... I think.
Beezo: No, as it turns out Roy made the head hollow.
Snifit 2: Figures.
Others: Agreed.
Chuck Guy: Hey! I finally have a speaking role!
At Team Fright...
King Boo: Of all the times to be a ghost. Ugh. Does anyone here have a way of breaking a statue?
Chauney: Goo!
Chauncey throws some of those giant balls at it.
Big Boo: I was wondering when he would come in useful...
Li'l Boo: That still doesn't say a lot for Bogmire though...
Bogmire falls through the floor at this precious moment.
At Team Dream...
Captain Syrup: Okay, Mouser, start throwing bombs at it! Clawgrip, throw rocks!
Wart opens his mouth to say something.
Syrup: Wart, shut up.
Wart: Listen you, I lead this team, since all of these team members are MY minions!
Syrup: Listen here, ugly, I am getting sick of your poor leadership skills! I mean, really, I can imagine how quickly the Koopa empire would have fallen if Bowser hadn't paid me to do ruin that experiment!
Wart: Err...
At Team Minion...
Goomba: Okay, Large Bros, work on the legs. Hammer, throw Bob-omb up to the top. Bob-omb, when up there, explode.
The team does so, quite successfully at that. Soon the head and legs are gone.
At Team Wario...
Wario: I'm-a gonna win!
Wario charges at it, but hurts his shoulder hitting it. In fact, he hurts it badly.
Wario: AHH!
Two Antiguys come in holding a strecher. They put Wario on it and leave (somehow able to carry him).
Waluigi: Okay, I take it since Wario is hurt I give orders. Giga Bowser, Metal Mario, Metal Luigi, smash it up a bit. Viruses, Mean Emcee, don't bother them.
Viruses: But we have an idea!
Waluigi: Statues don't get colds.
Viruses: It's not that!
Waluigi: They don't get any sickness!
Viruses: But-
Waluigi: Shut up!
At Team Machine...
Smithy: YEAAHHHAAA!
Smithy pushes over the statue, breaking it in half. Unfortunatly it also lands on the remaining Axems.
Punchinello: Obviously this is a time for my bombing to come into play! Smithy, pull out the Axems. I have an idea.
Smithy: This better work, or I'm going to beat you with this statue!
At Team Bean...
Fawful: I HAVE FURY!
Fawful begins shooting bombs at the statue, causing both arms and the head to come off. Tanoomba also works on it by turning into a Thwomp and repeatedly slamming on it. Mom Pirahna and Bean Pirahna hit it with mediocre spitting attacks. Tanoomba slams on it several times, eventually causing all of the parts to crumble. Except for one arm...
Anuboo: I'll handle thissssss.
Anuboo shoots it with a laser, causing it to rapidly begin to combust. At the same time, Hammer Bro hammers down the last parts of Team Minion's statue. At what seems to be the exact same time, the two teams finish.
Martin: This is different. Since the camera scrolls and stuff we have no evidence over which team finished first, so we have to temporarly stop the contest and take a vote. Okay, five teams, which team should get the 10 points, Team Minion or Team Bean?
Team Machine: Team Minion.
Team Fright: Team Bean.
Team Wario: Team Minion.
Team Dream: Team Minion.
Team Shyguy: Team Bean
Martin: So Team Minion gets 10 points, and Team Bean gets 9! Okay, back to the contest.
The teams return and put into operation roughly the same strategy.
At Team Fright...
King Boo: Okay, Chauncey, finish this up. Big Boo, Li'l Boo, go get me a very easy to scare person.
Vincent Van Gore, tired of being useless, pulls out his brush and paints something. It's a bomb.
King Boo: Brilliant!
BOOM!
King Boo: (covered in ashes) Okay, not briliant, but we got third place!
Martin: That they did, so they get 8 points!
At Team Dream...
Wart: Your plan isn't getting this done quick enough!
Captain Syrup: And I suppose you have a better one!?
Wart: Triclyde, wrap around the statue and squeeze as close together as possible!
Triclyde does so, casing the statue to crumble.
Wart: Ha.
Syrup: I really hate you.
Martin: Team Dream takes 4th!
At Team Wario...
Waluigi: Can't you go any faster?! Four teams have finished already!
Viruses: But our idea-
Waluigi: Fine! Then you three just do whatever stupid idea you all have and make sure we get at least 5th!
Viruses: Giga Bowser! Do a Drill Claw on it. Metal Mario, throw Metal Luigi through it.
They do so. The statue is so harmed by this force it explodes... harming Metal Luigi badly as well.
Martin: Team Wario takes 5th!
At Team Shyguy...
Shy Guy: Um, we have to finish soon.
At this exact moment, a bullet from Snifit 1, a beam from Laser Snifit, and a block of ice from Ice Snifit all hit at the same time in different places, causing the statue to have an unnatural reaction and therefore freeze then explode.
Shy Guy: Um... yay?
Martin: Team Shyguy takes 6th, meaning that Team Machine loses.
Smithy picks up the statue and breaks it right over Punchinello's head.
Martin: Uh, yeah... Okay, let's spin the roulette to decide if Team Machine stays or goes...
Martin spins the wheel. It lands on red.
Martin: Team Machine is GONE! Finally... I mean, too bad. Okay, next week we'll have another event roulette and another vote off!
Everyone Else: End transmission!