Hip and Hop’s Adventure

By Mary Beyer

One night Bowser proclaimed to his Koopalings:

"You are all old enough to start capturing the princess, conquering places, and so on. So now, go! Do me proud!" Bowser said. Hip paired up with Hop, Bully paired up with Big Mouth, Kootie Pie paired up with Cheatsy, and Kooky was on his own, which suited him fine. Kootie Pie and Cheatsy chose to take over Booster Tower and take all his stuff. Bully and Big Mouth would try to take on the Barrel Volcano, and Hip and Hop decided to do the traditional thing, capture Princess Toadstool. Kooky did not say what he was gonna do. They had all been put through tons of training. They were all on Level 18 except for Kooky, who had beaten up lots of Hammer Brothers and was on Level 22.

Hip and Hop ran excitedly towards the Mushroom Kingdom. Everyone there had decided that Bowser had called a truce since the incident of the Seven Stars, but there was one flaw; no one suspected the Koopalings weren’t on the truce. As they passed Mario’s Pad, they though of how Mario had helped their dad. But then they knew that Bowser would as sooner beat up Mario than say, "Hey, how’s it going?" As they entered the Mushroom Kingdom they were prepared to be swarmed by Mushroom guards. Sighing, they started to walk the streets of Mushroom Kingdom. Even though the Mushroom kids were staring at them, they started to talk.

"So how will we do this?" Hip asked.

"How ‘bout this, we go into the castle pretending we are going to ask the princess if she has… um… a cup of green frosting…  cuz… uh… it’s Kooky's birthday!" Hop said, making it up as he went along.

"Okay! We’ll get that princess before she even knows what tied her up!" Hip said, then started to laugh.

By the time they had finished working out the details they were at the palace doors.

"Halt! Who goes there? Hip and Hop? What are you doing here?" a guard asked suspiciously.

"We wanna know if we can see the princess and ask her if we can have some ingredients for a cake. It’s Kooky’s birthday tomorrow," Hip said.

"Uh, okay, proceed," the guard said.

They ran through the castle to the princess’ room. They almost went down to the basement but they turned around and were able to find the room without being seen by a Mushroom person. They reached the door of the princess’ room. They decided to knock. Knock, knock, knock. A moment later an old woman answered the door.

"I’m sorry but the princess is busy cook…" she said, and looked puzzled. "Hmm, I though I heard a knock." Then she closed the door.

"Heh heh heh heh! She never saw us come in!" Hop said laughing. They had run under the bed. Then they saw a box of old Mushroom clothes. They put them on and crawled out from under the bed and went to the princess’ kitchen. They opened the door and saw Toadstool cooking furiously. They threw the clothes at her and she spun around and saw them laughing at her.

"Ha! You are now our prisoner! We’ll take you back to King Dad to prove that we are they best of the Koopalings!" Hip said.

"Tie her up Hip! I’ll call some Lakitus to get us outta here!" Hop yelled. Hip tied her up while she was screaming "MARIOHELPMEMARIOHELPMEMARIOHELPME!" all the time. Then they heard the sound of some mighty strong jumps coming up the stairs.

"It’s Mario! Hop, we gotta get outta here now!" Hip screeched.

"Lakitus are here! Let’s go!" Hop yelled from the bedroom. They jumped on the Lakitus while carrying the princess. They flew towards the Keep and in through the hatch Bowser’s Clown Copter used to get in and out through. The other Koopalings looked ticked except for Kooky, but Hip and Hop still had triumphant looks on their happy little Koopaling faces. Bowser rushed at them.

"Excellent! Wonderful! But Mario will be here soon. Hey you other Koopalings! Barricade the Keep and get in Mario-Battle positions! You two," he said to Hip and Hop, "get the princess to the battle hall!"

The Koopalings scurried everywhere preparing for Mario. Hip and Hop carried the "MARIOHELPME"-screaming princess to the battle hall and got on a chandelier and told the Kinklink they wanted to go up about 30 feet. They traveled quickly and when they were at the 30-foot mark, they tied the princess on a hook that was there for princesses. The princess looked around and thought ‘Oh, major déjà vu!’ Hip and Hop heard the far off noises of Koopalings, Chomps, and Terra Pins. They also heard the sounds of jumping. Mario was here! Suddenly Mario burst in and jumped up an amazing 30 feet. Hip suddenly realized a Koopa confidence-crushing thing: Mario was on Level 30!

"Ah, dang!" Hip yelled, chorused by Hop, who had realized it at the same time. Mario unleashed an Ultra Jump on the Kinklink and the Kinklink could not stand it. They fell to the ground and saw Mario rescuing the princess. He leaped out the window and Bowser and the other Koopalings rushed in.

"Congratulations! You are now grown up Koopas! That always happens to me! I’m so proud!" Bowser said. Then he yelled that there would be a party that night.

Later that night…

"… and you shoulda seen it!" Bully said to Hop. "We were chased out of the volcano by this little Mushroom guy. He kept yelling, ‘Don’t steal my products, but come again!' It was so werid. All we stole was two Fire Shells."

Then Big Mouth came by. "Yeah you shoulda seen that guy, He was faster than a running Mario but nothing’s faster than that, I should know! Two weeks ago I tried to steal some coins from this guy. Then Mario came by and I fought him thinking, ‘This is it! Adios! I have won! After this long thing, the Mario is no more!’"

"Shut up Big Mouth!" Bully yelled. Hop decided to go over and see how Kootie Pie and Cheatsy had done. Hip was listening too.

"We were chased out by Booster on his little train thing and his three Snifits. No wait, there were seven!" Kootie Pie said.

"Yeah. The only thing we got was a Mario doll and a Yoshi doll. We didn’t even get the hidden Goodie Bag! Stupid Booster," Cheasty mumbled.

Then Kooky walked over. "He he ha ha hah! You amateur fools! I did the best, I guess. I forced Garro of Nimbus Land to make a statue of me. Then I got a ride home. The Bus Driver didn’t want a hole in his bus, I guess." Kooky wheeled in a detailed statue of himself and spun his wand around. This got Hip ticked so he drew out his wand and zapped the statue and it crumbled to dust. Kooky was furious and he started fighting with Hip. The other Koopalings ran over and started fighting too. As everyone knows, no Koopaling could resist a fight. This continued untill bedtime, went and they all went to bed. But then Hip and Hop both dreamed they were beating up Mario. Then an idea crept into Hip’s dreaming mind…

***

The bright and cheerful sun rose over the horizon. Hip yawned and woke up. ‘Aw, stupid sun. It’s gonna be a cheerful day. Blech! I wish it were raining,’ Hip thought. He yawned again, stretched, and went downstairs for breakfast. As he walked sleepily down the stairs he saw a blur go by him. It was Kooky. ‘Hmm,’ Hip thought. ‘I guess he’s been working on some dumb invention of his.’ As he walked into the kitchen, he saw Hop looking blankly at his food. It was an unknown mixture of Kootie Pie’s. He sat down and Cheatsy came and sat down next to him.

"Ew, what is that?" he asked Hip.

"Beats me." Hip answered. "Looks like mud stroganoff."

"Actually it’s… uh… well…" Kootie Pie said, clearly not knowing what to call it. "Mud plus coconut and a dash of sugar." Hop, who decided he was not hungry upon hearing what Kootie Pie had said, spit out the mud stroganoff.

"Eww, gross!" Kootie Pie said. "Hop, you don’t spit out your food, you chew and swallow it." Hop glared at her furiously.

"Why… in… the… world… did… you… use… MUD?" Hop asked, slowly and angrily. Then he left and went outside to do his daily mean stuff. The rest of the Koopalings continued on with breakfast and Hip was remembering what happened to him and Hop yesterday. 'Maybe that’s why he's so grumpy.' Then Hip went up to his lab and started to work on two projects…

That night all of his siblings came and asked him what he was making, and each time he answered:

"You’ll see when I’m done, you idiot(s)!" Then, the next morning, he was done. He walked downstairs and held one of the projects up.

"What the heck is that?" everyone asked, including Bowser.

"It’s an Inviso-Gun," Hip said, proudly. He showed the round, blue, gun-shaped object to them. Then Bowser spoke up from the confused silence.

"Well, nice work Hip," Bowser said, sounding confused. "How does it work?"

"Well you say ‘Invisible winds that shift and blow, don’t let this little Koopaling show!’" Hip recited. And then, to everyone’s surprise, he faded from sight. Then, invisibly, he walked over to Big Mouth and shoved him into his Lava Stew.

"Hey, show yourself! When you reappear I’ll blow you up!" he said, showing his wand. "I’ll blast you to smithereens! It’ll be like ‘the fat lady in your play has sung'! When you come back I’ll kill ya! Hip Koopa will be no moooorreee! Then I-" Cheatsy had just put his over Big Mouth’s big mouth. He tried to speak but he was muffled by Cheasty’s hand. Then Hip reappeared on top of the table.

"Cool, Hip!" Hop said. "What are you gonna do with it?"

"A few things, take over Yo'ster Isle, maybe try again to capture the princess. So, who wants to join me?" All of his siblings’ hands flew up. He looked around, thinking.

"Okay," Hip said, deciding. "Hop, Kootie Pie, and Bully." The chosen three danced around in excitement. They got to be invisible.

"Alright you four," Bowser said, "you leave tomorrow." All the koopalings walked, ran, or slowly creeped up the stairs to bed.

The next morning…

Hop yawned. Then he remembered! He was supposed to go with Hip, Bully, and Kootie Pie to Yo'ster Isle! He ran downstairs to find Hip chanting:

"Mystic invisible winds that shift and blow, don’t make these Koopalings show!" Then he turned to Hop and said, "It works better if I use ‘mystic’. Then I can do more than one at a time." Then he drew out his gun and recited, "Mystic invisible winds that shift and blow, don’t let me and him show!" Then he and Hop faded out of sight. Then they headed out the door. It was a three-days journey to Yo'ster Isle. They stopped at Rose Town the second day. They hid in the Inn’s basement to sleep. Ever since Hip and Hop had kidnapped the princess everyone was on the lookout for them. Then when they were fully rested, they left the building. Then they went through the Pipe Vault with ease because they knew the Sparkys, Goombas, and Piranha Plants. Then they reached the isle of the Yoshis. They were still invisible, so none of the Yoshis noticed them. They used their wands to put the Yoshis into a deep trance. Then Hip muttered the un-Inviso-Gun spell. Then he pulled out something else. It was a thin, silver pad. He pressed it against four Yoshis. Then he stared at it. Then he looked at the other Koopalings. Then he hit a keyboard that was on the pad. He looked up, a smug grin on his face.

"An appearance copier. Now watch," he said. He typed something on the keyboard and the Koopaling began to… flicker? His hands became green and smaller, he grew taller, red spikes spouted from his neck… all in all, the other Koopalings thought it was a pretty disgusting sight. Within moments he had morphed into… Yoshi?

"Alright, who next?" he said, speaking exactly like Yoshi.

"Meeee!" screeched Kootie Pie. She grabbed the pad, pressed it against a pretty pink yoshi, whose name was Loshi, and she too turned into the Yoshi. Then Bully took Boshi, and Hop took a red Yoshi, whose name was Roshi. Then, ten minutes later, a familiar band of yoshis set off towards… the Mushroom Kingdom.

A day and a half later…

It took a day and a half to get to the Mushroom Kingdom. They saw that no Mushroom people stared at them. They entered the castle without any trouble from the guards. Then they went to the Princess’ room. Her grandma answered the door. Hip and Hop exchanged a look that said, ‘Oh, jeez! We’re toast!’ But instead they had nothing to fear.

"Hello Yoshi, Loshi, Boshi, and Roshi," she said.

"Hi, how are you?" they all chorused.

"Oh, fine. You want to see the princess? She’s at Mario’s house," She answered kindly. All four Koopalings froze. They were all having the same thought: ‘No princess is worth going to Mario’s house!’ They went out of the castle feeling glum. They all considered going back to the Keep, but they all knew, you couldn’t desert a mission once it is set. They trudged to Mario’s Pad. Then they overheard not only Princess Toadstool and Mario, but also Luigi and Toad.

"Okay," Hip said. "Here the plan…"

They knocked on the door, in their regular Koopaling forms, and heard an "Ah, hold your horses, I’ll be right there."

Ah! Good. Toad was gonna answer the door.' Hop readied his wand. Hop was at the door. The door opened. Hip heard a gasp. He jumped out from behind the bush and froze Toad and dragged him back to the bush. Moments later, "Toad" stepped out of the bush, grinning smugly. ‘So,’ he thought, ‘my appearance pad works better than I thought it would.’ Then he walked back into the house.

"Hey Mario, Luigi, someone's at the door for you guys," "Toad" said. The Mario Bros. walked outside and saw nothing. Then Kootie Pie and Bully leaped out of a bush.

"Say goodnight plumber boys!" Kootie Pie said.

"Yeah, time to go nighty-night! So we will get the princess this time! See ya!" Bully yelled. Then a shriek came from inside. Hip ran out carrying Toadstool. Hop was waiting by with three Lakitus. The four Koopalings hopped on two different Lakitus. The princess had fainted but had been put in the last Lakitu.

‘Well,’ the Lakitu thought. ‘at least she ain’t screaming like last time.’

As they went back to the Keep, Bully dropped his wand. Mario un-froze and instantly went to save the princess. As he closed in on the Keep, he planned it out…

Inside the Keep…

All the Koopalings were preparing for Mario, but he never showed up. Then, later that night, he ran through the door, past all of the still-ready sleeping Koopas and Koopettes. He saw the princess in the battle room. He picked her up and took her back to his house.

That morning…

No one was happy. This was the worst defeat in Koopa history! They were defeated in their sleep! Well they would try again tomorrow. As Hip walked down the stairs he saw Hop looking at a picture of himself. Then he went down to breakfast. Kootie Pie was cooking again, but she decided to look up a recipe this time. It was Evil Yoshi Stew.

As Hip ate his Evil Yoshi Stew he thought and thought about how to get revenge on Mario. Actually, everyone was. Wendy had had a stupid idea about flooding Mario’s house. Hop, Cheasty, Kookie, and Bully had not had any ideas yet. Big Mouth was still sleeping, thankfully. His loud-mouth ranting would destroy Hip’s train of thought. Bowser had been in his throne room all day thinking. Then he walked in.

"I’ve got it!" Bowser proclaimed as he walked in.

"Rrr…" Hip had just lost a great idea. "WHAT?!"

"While I was humoring Mario…" Bowser said.

Hip laughed slightly. 'Humoring?Hah! That was a laugh.'

"... we went to Monstro Town. There was this guy, Jinx. He said that Mario’s fighting style wasn’t ‘as fool proof as he thought’. Maybe he could give us some clues about how to defeat Mario. Not ‘fight and lose’ but fight and permanently win!" Well, Hip had to admit, that did sound helpful. The other Koopalings had overheard and they were nodding in agreement with Bowser’s plan.

"Cool plan King Dad," Cheasty said, "but everyone knows that Big Mouth doesn’t get up ‘till one ‘o clock every Sunday. Could we just do this without him?"

"Cheatsy my boy," Bowser said, "that’s an excellent idea. Okay, everyone grab your wands! Let’s go!"

"Wait Dad!" Hop called. "We can’t walk there, we’ve got to fly!" He emitted a high pitched whistle. Eight Lakitus flew up. Each Koopa climbed in the cloud.

"Oh, King Bowser!" the head Lakitu said. "Where to my liege?"

"Monstro Town. Try to hurry it up," Bowser said.

"Will do!" the Lakitus said. They lifted up from the castle courtyard.

"Maximum speed!" the first Lakitu yelled. They all flew at about eighty-six miles per hour.

"Hey look!" Hip yelled, the words tearing from his mouth as they zipped by Nimbus Land. "Ain’t that Mallow’s home?"

"That pathetic marshmallow? Yeah, the big castle thing," Bowser said with just a hint of arrogance. About an hour later, they arrived at Monstro Town. The Koopalings were looking around while Bowser found Jinx’s house. Hip and Hop went into a house beside a sealed door. As they walked in they saw a Goomba putting a Spiked Chain Link in a drawer.

"Can I help… oh. Oh! Hip and Hop Koopa!" the Goomba said. "What brings you to Monstro Town? Is the rest of the clan here?"

"Yep. Except for Big Mouth. We are here to get some pointers from that one fighter guy…" Hip said.

"Jinx?" Goomba said. Then they all heard a really loud growl coming from a house a few doors down.

"Well," Hop said, "I guess our dad’s done here." They left the shop. All the Koopalings were sitting in the Lakitus’ clouds. Then Bowser jumped out of a house. He ran towards the head Lakitu.

"Lift off!" Bowser yelled. The Lakitus could tell in the way Bowser said it, he was not happy. In mere seconds they were back. Bowser walked in while the Koopalings ran ahead. All day Bowser was in his throne room being really steamed at Jinx. Hip and Kookie were curious about what had happened. They sneaked closer to the throne room. Bowser was throwing darts at a picture of Mario. Then he spotted the two Koopalings right after he hit the picture square in the forehead.

"Ah. Come in," he said calmly. Kooky walked right in but Hip knew something was up. He proceeded cautiously towards the throne.

"So King Dad," Kookie asked, "what happened at Jinx’s?"

"Mario had fought him three times and won three times. Jinx said he would never help hurt anyone who has proved themselves to him. So I stormed outta there and came back here with you kids."

"Well," Kooky said, grinning deviously, "maybe if you fight and win, he’ll tell you some stuff. Or, I can give him a hot foot that will last a year!"

"Alright, you two go and tell Jinx that I’m coming. I need to warm up."

The two Kooaplings grinned and ran to the Lakitus' room because they did not know how to do that really high-pitched whistle that Hop could. The Lakitus were just loading up a few Spikeys. ‘Probably their shift at Bandit’s Way.’ Hip thought. "Hey Kooky," Hip asked. "Do you think we should wait for the next shift?"

"Nah, watch." Kookie said. "HEY! LAKITUS! CAN ONE OF YOU GIVE US A RIDE TO MONSTRO TOWN?!"

"Ahh! Kooky! What in the world did you yell for?" Hip said, his ears ringing.

"I dunno… Hehehehehehehehehe!" Kookie started laughing. One of the Lakitus turned around.

"Sure I’ll give you a ride, but hurry up and get in, will ya?" the Lakitu said.

"Sure," they chorused. "Just drop us off in front of Jinx’s place." They lifted off the ground and went really fast towards Monstro Town. Then the Lakitu pulled a switch and the bottom of the cloud opened. They fell, but only about a foot. The Koopalings got up and saw a "M" symbol instead a "J" symbol like Jinx used to have on his door. They walked in and gaped at the unusual sight. Jinx had a bar posted way above him and kept jumping and jumping, trying to reach it. Then he stopped and seemed totally confused. Then he looked up at the two Koopalings.

"If you come and try to challenge me, I am sorry that I must disappoint you. I only fight for honor and justice," Jinx said. In two seconds the Koopalings went from amazed to mad. They whipped out their wands and charged them. Since Jinx had not been fighting for so long he had basically forgotten how to fight, but he was ready to try anyway.

"Tell us how to defeat Mario or you’re toast!" Kooky yelled.

"Or possibly frozen!" Hip yelled after Kookie.

"I’ll give you a silver… oh wait. How do I summon it?" Jinx said, heavily confused. Then Kooky decided it was time to act. He shot a huge ball of fire at Jinx’s foot. Jinx yelled in surprise and ran around screaming, "Water, water!!!"

Hah! I’ll do more than give him water, I’ll give him ICE!’ Hip thought. He blasted a huge wall of ice at Jinx and froze him. Somehow he managed to talk to them.

"Alright! I’ll… brr… tell you." Jinx said, getting colder every second. In ten minutes the two Kooaplings had jotted down the tips. They had to walk back since there were no Lakitus around here. About three hours later they had just navigated through Bean Valley. It took them a long, hard hour to beat Smilax, since he had grown back into his pipe. They were both weary from climbing and climbing. They reached the base of Nimbus Land. Looking up they saw lots of different-colored mini bean stalks.

"Aw, why can’t Monstro Town be at the summit of the Keep?" Kooky groaned.

"He he. You’re thinking wrong. How about a path of ice up towards Nimbus Land?" Hip said smugly. "Or would you like to climb?" He drew out his magic wand and blasted a curving path of ice in front of them. Kooky saw this and quickly whipped out his wand and blasted a long, tall Piranha Plant up towards the clouds. It’s huge head bent down and let Kooky climb on. By the time they had slowly rose towards the Nimbus Land entrance, Hip was waiting for them. Then they continued towards Nimbus Land.

After what Kooky had done, and seeing him back, most of the people of Nimbus Land either went in their houses or just gave them mean looks.

"Well Kooky," Hip said sarcastically,"it’s nice to be wanted here." They walked to the Royal Bus loading dock. Instead of telling the bus driver to give them a ride, Kooky blasted out a long Piranha Plant vine. This one had no head and was basically just a vine. As they walked across, Hip lost his balance. He started to fall when Kooky caught him.

"Gotcha!" Kookie said. As Hip struggled to climb up, he dropped the memo book with the tips Jinx had given them. It went sailing and twisting down. It finally landed on a sharp rock. The memo book was scrapped.

"Oh no!" Hip screeched. "That was dad’s 500-coin memo book! He’s gonna kill me!"

"Not if I kill you first!" Kooky yelled. "I had 122 invention ideas that were capable of beating Mario in there! Not to mention that I contributed 250 coins to buy that!" As they were both working out how their dad would kill them, they continued on the vine.

As they entered the castle, they heard, "Quick! Get that memo pad! I need it now! GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO!" They knew it was their dad. Several Koopa Troopas rushed towards them. Kooky shook his head. The Troopas backed off. Hip and Kooky went in the throne room. Their dad had filled up his Mario picture with darts. He looked at them.

"Where’s the memo book?" Bowser asked. They described everything.

Later…

Their story took two hours. Hip and Kooky went slowly to avoid a major commotion. When Bowser heard the tale, he started breathing fire at them. The fire caught on their heels, and they ran upstairs shrieking. They each grabbed a bucket of water from their closets for just such an occasion. After cooling their feet, they went to bed. After all, tomorrow was another day.

The End

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