Chapter 8: Road to Marrymore!
Yaridovich sat in a cell talking to Smithy via a watch with communications equipment in it.
Smithy: You imbecile! What were you thinking looking in the book?!
Yaridovich: How was I to expect to be attacked?!
Smithy: You can't be too careful. Yaridovich, do they have the ring?
Yaridovich: What ring?
Smithy: The ring containing the stone of the royal family! Do they have it?!
Yaridovich: I haven't heard anything about a ring...
Smithy: That's good. Yaridovich, how are the conditions in the cell you're in?
Yaridovich: There's no windows or door. The only way out is through the wall. Apparently they have a switch on the other side to move the wall.
Smithy: Alright, tap your spear on the wall opposite that one.
Yaridovich did so. The wall easily collapsed.
Smithy: Heh, faulty building. Alright, now the ring is probably in Joke's End. I think the thief Croco would be in possession of it, at least for the time being. If I'm not mistaken he stole it back in Nimbus Land.
Yaridovich put away his spear and walked out of the dungeon, heading straight for Joke's End. Smithy ended the transmission to Yaridovich, then walked down into the main land of the factory.
Smithy: Men! Build faster! We conquer Plit in three days!
Meanwhile, Princess Peach had already begun preparing a huge banquet, dispite having not yet told Birdo. There had been a good three weeks passed since last, and so only three days remained until the deadline. Birdo coincidentally came by the castle again that very day. She walked in on the banquet being prepared.
Birdo: What's the big occasion? Mario Bros. stop Bowser again?
Peach: No... um... well, it turns out, you're the true heir of the Mushroom Kingdom!
Birdo: WHAT?! How?!
Peach: Your ancestor Birdiatra was the true queen and put my family in charge for a length of time, and YOU must be queen within three days, or else Smithy will be released onto the planet!
Birdo: Um... alright... but what am I supposed to do as queen to stop Smithy?!
Peach: All you have to do is take power and Smithy will be locked away forever.
Birdo: Alright.
Peach: Great! We'll put you into power in two days.
Birdo turned to leave when the door to this room was kicked open. Croco and his Crooks came in.
Peach: Be careful with that!
Croco: What do you care? It's my door! At least it will be... soon.
Peach: No it won't.
Croco: What?! Are you saying you've found the heir?!
Peach: Yes!
Croco spotted Birdo.
Croco: Crooks, capture her! If I can't become king through trickery... I'll do it by marriage! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
The Crooks tied Birdo up and ran off with her. Croco dashed out with them.
~The Past~
Cracku and Birdiatra sat atop the tallest building in Birdiatra's kingdom, while Flawf flew next to the two. Cackla jumped out of a building and pointed a finger at Smithy. A bolt of lightning shot out and blew the monstrous creature 20 feet away. Cackla flew up to the top of the building with the other three.
Cracku: That creature's going to kill us all!
Birdiatra: Not saying it's not partly my fault, but it's your idiocy that caused it to defeat Bowmaurm! If you hadn't used that sword, he could've killed it!
Smithy slamned his fists into the side of the building, and parts of the room started coming down. Cracku fell, and Birdiatra tried pulling him back up. Cackla pushed Birdiatra from behind off the building, then she and Flawf flew off cackling about their plans to conquer the kingdom when Birdiatra perished. Smithy immediately stuck his arm straight through Cracku's torso, killing the crocodile on impact. The monster began beating Birdiatra savagly, and once she was breathing heavily and had dozens of broken bones, he threw her to the ground. Birdiatra cast another spell, trapping Smithy in another dimension before passing out.
~The Present~
Yaridovich walked into Joke's End and began searching the area for the ring. He found lots of things, but no ring whatsoever. Croco ran in as Yaridovich prepared to leave.
Yaridovich: Where is the ring?
Croco: Ring? What ring?
Yaridovich: Don't play stupid. Give me the ring or I will personally shove this blade straight through you and your little partners can have crocodile on a stick.
The Crooks then run in, carrying Birdo.
Yaridovich: On second thought, give me her instead.
Croco: Heh, or what!? Besides, I have a use for her. All I need to do is go to Marrymore and tie the knot with her, then her usefulness will be over with and you can have her!
Birdo: Can you two quit referring to me like I'm an item?!
Birdo spit a rock down the ropes, cutting them off, then ran out.
Croco: Drats! Tell you what, if you help me recapture her and take her to Marrymore, then once we handle everything there, I'll give her to you.
Yaridovich: Deal.
Two days later, the inauguration took place. To end the festivities, Peach began the crowning.
Peach: I hereby declare Birdo the new queen!
Birdo: Wow... I don't know what to say... but, um, I need some help. There's this purple guy who's been following me and planned to marry me and stuff... Anyway, I just want to say that I'll most likely give power back over as soon as this whole ordeal is finished.
A suspicious-looking character, obviously Croco, sat at the the back of the room in a corner. After the guests left and Birdo was alone in the room, Croco ran out of the corner and grabbed her, rushing out to Yaridovich and the Crooks outside. The six set off for Marrymore. Hours later, the six arrived in the town of Marrymore. Yaridovich went off to get his spear sharpened, the Crooks went to the chapel, bringing Birdo along, and Croco went to see the two chefs he hired to handle the desert for his wedding.
Croco: Heh heh, how's it coming? Tonight is the night after all! Tonight at midnight.
The chefs assured him everything would be ready and that they were just about to set off with the food. Croco left satisfied and went to the chapel. The wedding reception was soon underway. The reptile known as Croco came walking into the room where a few people sat (to be more specific the Crooks, Yaridovich, and some short person wearing a cloak and hat). Birdo was tied up and was leaning off the altar. Croco walked the rest of the way up.
Croco: Alright, declare us husband and wife! I want to take over as soon as possible!
The Toad at the alter, a cowardly fellow like most of the others in his race, nodded his head.
Birdo: Wait, don't I get any say in this?
Croco: Well, there's either this or the other way, which involves killing you.
Birdo: But won't you probably try that anyway?
Croco: Are you willing to bet I won't?
Birdo: Do I have a choice?
Toad: Al... alright. I now declare you-
The cloaked person stood up and shot a bazooka he'd been carrying to interrupt the reception. This bazooka was the same one seen in Donkey Kong 64. The orange shot into Croco, knocking him back. Yaridovich rushed up and grabbed Birdo, and ran off with her. The cloaked person ran after him. The three Crooks went to check on their master.
Croco: I'm fine you simpletons! Go and get her back! I need her to complete world domination!
The Crooks obeyed and chased after Yaridovich.
Chapter 9: Everything's Just Peach-y
Peach walked through Marrymore and stopped in front of the hotel. Yaridovich ran by with Birdo, but stopped and set her down upon seeing the figure with the bazooka.
Yaridovich: Whatcha gonna do? Shoot me with that thing?! Ha! I won't go down so easily.
Yaridovich withdrew his spear and dived at the figure. This person normally wouldn't have been able to defeat Yaridovich, but a determination like few ever have filled him.
FIgure: You've done enough to her. Do whatever you like to anyone, even me, just don't hurt her.
Yaridovich kicked Birdo just to serve a point. Rage filled the figure, who dived at the robot, tackling him to the ground, then pulled the bazooka out again, holding it just inches away from Yaridovich's face.
Yaridovich: You have determination, but I have superior skills!
Yaridovich threw off the figure, who was hurt badly by the force of his landing. Normally such a throw would've put a man down for 10, 15 minutes but determination filled him. Yaridovich picked Birdo up and turned away.
Birdo: Nooooo!
The figure sat up almost automatically, and angrily fired a shot into Yaridovich's back. The robot was knocked off his feet, holding himself up with his hands. The figure jumped into the air and shot again at Yaridovich, knocking him out cold to the ground. He untied Birdo.
Figure: (in a voice sounding like he's covering his mouth) Mission accomplished.
Peach: Good. Here you go.
Peach handed the figure a sack of coins. The figure rushed off, content with his work so far. Peach walked into the hotel, and Birdo was immediately grabbed by the Crooks and Croco. Metal Luigi walked by.
Metal Luigi: Aaron is so c00l.
Metal Luigi exploded. Croco grabbed Birdo and ran off with her, while the Crooks kept watch to make sure Yaridovich didn't get up.
~The Past~
It had been 364 days since Smithy'd been locked away, and Birdiatra had been bed-ridden the entire time due to the injuries she had suffered at the hands of that monster. She had already had Cackla and Flawf executed, but their children fell plague to the same feelings of greed and joined together in an alliance that to this day is still carried on by their descendants, Cackletta and Fawful. Bowmaurm, with assistance from Kamoo, Kamek's ancestor, set into place a huge kingdom in Dark Land, which led to his ancestors, Bowser and the Koopalings, ruling over the large land of darkness. This also led to the conqeuring of Sub-con by Wart, Bowser's brother, and the introduction of Macer's ancestor, Mouser, into his army. Obple's descendant is the thief Popple. Cracku was laid to rest in the royal cemetary, in a special plot next to the tomb which was prepared specifically for Birdiatra when her time came. It had been reserved for Cackla, but Cracku had turned out to be, surprisingly, the most loyal there in the end. She knew it couldn't be wrong. A kind but poor family had survived and took Birdiatra into their home, keeping her taken care of completely. On this night, just before midnight, Birditra gathered her strength and told them something.
Birdiatra: I know I won't last much longer, but I want you all to do something for me. I am giving you this entire kingdom, under one condition. Smithy will only stay locked away if you put my descendant, be it male or female, in the position of power in 2001 years. You must promise to give him or her this ring.
Birdiatra handed a ring to the woman of the house, whose husband had died in Smithy's attack. The woman's eyes teared up as she heard Birdiatra gasp. Birdiatra fell back. Midnight hit at the exact moment Birdiatra stopped breathing. Birdiatra was buried in her special tomb, and Peach's ancestors built the kingdom up, far beyond its former glory.
~The Present~
Croco wed Birdo, and quickly threw her in a dumpster, setting a large rock on top to keep her from escaping. Croco and his Crooks headed to their new kingdom, taking the robot Yaridovich along to sentence him for treason. Birdo sat in the dumpster running out of air after hours of waiting. Croco'd already reached the Mushroom Kingdom, so as you can tell it'd been a long time. Outside the dumpster, the man in the cloak and hat came by.
Man: Birdo!
The man pushed with all of his strength on the rock, but it simply wouldn't budge. Birdo screamed for help, and the man was immediately filled with twice as much strength as normal, and not only pushed the rock off, but picked it up and threw it straight off. He hopped off and pulled up the dumpster. He reached into the dumpster, and pulled Birdo out. She'd passed out from screaming. He tossed her over his shoulder, and he ran off for the Mushroom Kingdom.
Chapter 10: When the Clock Hits Midnight
The reptile known as Croco stood in what was now his throne room in his castle. He cackled. It was eleven thirty at night, and all was looking great for Croco. Yaridovich had been locked up in a specially designed cell, and Peach had been put in a cell to keep her from stopping him. He gazed at the ring now sitting upon his finger. The very ring that he'd dropped back in Nimbus Land. He had taken it from Peach when he locked her up. The ring was the same one as what she'd been looking for all this time, after she had learned about it from Popple. (He'd bribed her again, this time for 12,000 Beanbean coins, then told her more about the ring.) Croco himself figured out which was the ring, though he didn't know what it was for.)
Croco: This must be the ring that that traitor was after. Heh, I would like to see that stupid Bowser's face when he hears that I succeeded at what he couldn't do.
Croco stood up, and whistled. His Crooks ran in from a room behind the throne room.
Croco: We are ready now, Crooks. Let the people here to celebrate my crowning!
The Crooks opened the door. All they saw were Tayce T, Chef Torte, and Apprentice.
Chef Torte: Here ist ze food!
Croco: Great, great, I'll give you the money after the banquet. Just stick around 'til then. *sigh* I figured someone would show up... Oh well, I'm king now! Hahahahahahaha!
Crooks: Hahahahahahahaha-
Croco: Who said you all could laugh?
At about 10 'til midnight, a knock was heard on the door.
Croco: Answer it. It must be my fans!
Crook B answered the door. As soon as he opened it, he was shot across the room with a coconut. The figure seen earlier walked into the room and took aim at Croco.
Croco: Heh, you think you can take me on?! Ha!
Croco threw a barrage of Bob-ombs toward the figure, who ran out of the way. The figure leaped into the air and shot a coconut toward Croco. Croco dodged successfully and jumped down at him. The figure jumped into the air and kicked Croco in the face. Croco grabbed the figure then and threw him to the ground. Croco and his Crooks began kicking the figure, who was by now coughing up blood. The four villains laughed. The Crooks pulled him up and Croco pulled the coconut bazooka out of his hands, then took aim. Croco was about to pull the trigger when Birdo ran in and tackled him to the ground. Birdo and Croco began wrestling over the bazooka. After a couple of minutes, the two stopped. The bazooka and ring lay between them. Birdo grabbed the ring and was about to put it on when the Crooks grabbed her and Croco grabbed the bazooka. The ring was dropped onto the ground, and Yaridovich and Peach came in, having managed to escape their cells via Yaridovich's magic. (He accidently freed Peach.) Yaridovich saw the ring and grabbed it, while Peach was too busy helping Birdo to notice. Suddenly, they heard a gong.
GONG!
GONG!
Yaridovich snuck behind the throne and laughed triumphantly, having succeeded at the last possible instant.
GONG!
GONG!
GONG!
Peach took the Crooks down, and now was healing the figure. Birdo fought Croco, who had had the bazooka knocked out of his hands.
GONG!
GONG!
GONG!
GONG!
Birdo and Peach both realized only seconds remained. Peach tackled Croco and Birdo grabbed the ring.
GONG!
GONG!
Birdo went to put the ring on, but Croco threw Peach into her, knocking the ring into the air.
GONG!
A strange aura of light filled the room as an ominous laugh came out of Yaridovich, who climbed into the throne and then got out.
Yaridovich: Hahahahahahahaha! Say hello to your new master, the great all-powerful Smithy!
Smithy walked from a door of light that had formed in front of the throne. Smithy cackled evilly and drew out his hammer. Croco, the Crooks, Chef Torte, Apprentice, Tayce T, Birdo, and Peach hid under a table. Birdo pulled the figure under.
Birdo: This is all your fault, Croco!
Croco: My fault?!
Birdo: Yes! I would've put the ring on if it wasn't for you!
Croco: What does the ring have to do with anything?
Since Birdo didn't know that much about it either, Peach explained.
Birdo: Well this is perfect. We can't hide here forever!
Peach: It seems we have no choice but to work together.
Birdo: But how can we handle both Yaridovich and Smithy?
Peach: Croco and me can probably handle Smithy. Birdo, you, him, and the Crooks try to bring Yaridovich down. I'll heal all of us first, though we may need to keep our distance.
Peach healed them all, including the figure.
Chef Torte: Vait, vhat about us?
Peach: You and Apprentice help with Smithy. Tayce T, go get your brother and the Mario Bros ASAP.
Tayce T. snuck out of the room and the others charged into battle.
Smithy: You all are idiots. Yaridovich, would you suggest I finish this quickly or painfully?
Yaridovich: Why not both?
Smithy: Aheheheheh! Of course! Magnum!
Smithy's head turned into a tank. Yaridovich jumped and smacked the figure with his spear, then went for Birdo. The figure grabbed Yaridovich's foot and pulled him down, then climbed onto him. Yaridovich tried to throw him off, but failed. The figure kicked the bazooka into the air (it was right behind him) and caught it with one hand, then held it in front of Yaridovich's face.
Figure: Heh, ready for me to beat you for the third time?
The figure pulled his hat off to reveal...
Chapter 11: Monty Python Spoof, Anyone?
Birdo: Popple?
Yaridovich: Popple?
Smithy: Popple?
Tayce T: Popple?
Yoshi: Popple?
Croco and Crooks: Popple?
Apprentice: Popple?
Lakilester: Popple?
Spongebob: Popple?
Scooby Doo: Popple?
Martin: Popple?
Fang: Popple?
Tommy Vercetti: Popple?
Timmy Turner: Popple?
Sin: Popple?
Popple: Popple?
Sepiroth: Popple?
Shadow the Hedgehog: Popple?
Chef Torte: Poppeil?
Dr. Zoidberg: Popple?
Bart Simpson: Popple?
Geno: Popple?
Shigeru Miyamoto: Popple?
John Bradshaw Layfield: Popple?
Popple: What, you were expecting Yoshi?
Popple pulled the trigger on the bazooka, but it didn't shoot.
Popple: Darn.
Yaridovich threw Popple off and then picked his spear up and put his head on it.
Yaridovich: Now, fool, prepare to DIE!
Yaridovich thrust the spear at Popple. Birdo tackled Yaridovich in the leg, knocking him off his feet. Popple caught the spear (not to mention Yaridovich's head).
Yaridovich: Body, help!
Popple walked out of the castle with the spear and Yaridovich's head. He immediately returned without the spear. His gloves were wet.
Smithy: You may have taken Yaridovich out-
The body of Yaridovich ran out to get its head.
Smithy: -but I shall destroy you all!
Croco: Hey Smithy, catch!
Croco threw a Bob-omb at Smithy. It exploded. When the smoke cleared, a bullet sped out and hit Peach.
Smithy: Now you all won't have a chance of living!
Smithy switched to his magic head.
Popple: Alright, Smithy, we give. *wink* Please, finish me off first, with the tank head so it'll be quick.
Smithy: Heh, finally you see things the correct way!
Smithy began charging the bullet. As it started to fire, Birdo spat an egg into the cannon.
Smithy: WHAT?! NO!!!
Smithy exploded. When the smoke cleared, all that lay on the ground were rocks. Croco, Popple, and Birdo all smiled at each other.
Croco: Now where were we?
Birdo: Oh yeah...
Birdo tackled Croco and the two began fighting over the ring. Popple walked out, chuckling to himself. Tayce T. ran in, alone.
Tayce T: I heard an explosion and ran right back. Where's Smithy?
Croco: Smithy is- ow, it's going to take weeks to get that egg off my hat- dead. We- stop it you infernal dinosaur and nose hybrid!- made him explode.
Birdo soon wrestled the ring onto her own finger. Croco jumped onto the table, between the cake and the pie.
Croco: Heh, it matters not! I'm still king, and I still tricked these three chefs into making this meal for me!
Chef Torte: Mon dieu!
The three chefs dived at Croco, who threw a Bob-omb at them, blowing them into the wall with a thud.
Croco: Ha, looks like I win!
Croco began laughing, and was suddenly eaten by... I know what you're thinking. You're thinking either that he was eaten by the cake, or you're wondering why I am bothering to address you. Or moreover, who on Plit is doing this narration? Well here it is-
Croco was eaten by the pie. The three chefs left laughing. The Crooks grabbed the pie.
Croco: Hurry up and get me out of here!
The three left with the pie. Now Birdo and Peach were the only ones in the room.
Birdo: Alright Peach, now to keep my promise. Here is the ring, and you can have the kingdom. This ruling stuff is just WAY too chaotic for me, and I don't even want to get started on that lame Monty Python spoof. See ya later, Peach. I'm going to go star with Popple and Kamek in Perfect Popple: The Movie.
Birdo gave Peach the ring and left.
Epilogue
Birdo and Popple moved into Little Fungi Town. They haven't married- yet. Croco and his Crooks soon got back to scheming on taking over the Mushroom Kingdom. Yaridovich found his head and hired a pack of Magikoopas to resurrect Smithy, who was now waiting for the next 2001 years to pass. Chef Torte and Apprentice started a pathetic evil organization and tried to rid the world of its fruit. Tayce T became a movie star in the movie Psychic of the Cutlery. Peach went back to managing her kingdom. Boom Boom finally became a world class ballerina, and the Joker escaped prison again.
Kamek: Now that I've told you this story, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
The End
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