Chapter 21
The ride with Dino Splash was over. Shy Guy, Snifit, Chak, and David had finally arrived at the place: Kariboo Island. However, for them, the night was not for traveling, so as soon as they found a nice opening in the middle of the woods, they arranged a few logs in a circle and got a good fire going in the center of it. They sat down and let the story-swapping begin.
“...And ever since, I’ve been terrified by dogs,” Chak was saying.
“It’s true,” David added.
“Well, that’s sounds pretty rough,” Shy Guy sympathized.
“Yes, indeed. Anyway, enough about that,” said Chak. “You people say you used to be members of the Shy Squad?”
“Shy Gang,” Snifit corrected.
“Ah, yes, yes. Well? Tell us about that,” Chak insisted.
“Wellll...” Shy Guy said, lifting a beefy hand to the bottom of his mask and scratching it like a chin. “Ummm... Snifit, where do we start?” he asked.
“It starts,” Snifit said, “with a poster.”
”OOOHHH, YEEAAHH! Now I remember!” Shy Guy said excitedly. He cleared his throat while thumping a big fist against his chest, and then he spread his arms out dramatically to let the tale begin. “It was about a year ago,” he started. “Me and Shy Guy were walking down the street, minding our own business...”
“We weren’t walking down the street,” Snifit interrupted.
Shy Guy ignored him. “...when suddenly this POSTER just leapt out in front of us and started talking to us...”
“It wasn’t talking,” Snifit argued.
“...It said, I WANT YOU,” Shy Guy continued, pointing with one finger to imitate the picture of the 8-Bit on the poster, “TO JOIN THE SHY GANG! To this day, I can’t explain it, but there was something about that poster that made me wanna, I dunno, join the Shy Gang!
“I looked at Snifit and thought, Dude! Snifit! We, like, totally need to join the Shy Gang, or somethin’!
”And he was like, Yeah! Let’s do it!”
“No, I said they were a bunch of self-contradicting hippies and that the Super Mushroom League was probably a better idea,” Snifit interjected.
Shy Guy continued. “So we walked through the doors, looked ‘em straight in the eye, and said, YOU WANT US TO JOIN THE SHY GANG?!’
“And they said, YOU’RE RIGHT! WE DO! And they let us join.”
”It was the pits,” Snifit said.
“It was heaven,” Shy Guy said.
“For days on end, they made us beat up all kinds of monsters, run all kinds of obstacle courses, and perform various other tasks,” Snifit explained.
”And sometimes, they’d give us free brownies and fruit juice!” said Shy Guy.
“Then at last, the big day came,” Snifit said. “Our leader, the Shy King, had us all gathered in one room so he could tell us about the next big mission.”
”He told us we had to go on a scavenger hunt!” Shy Guy said.
“For seven disembodied body parts,” Snifit elaborated. “A torso with the head still attached, two arms, two legs, and two wings. He said we had to get into groups of two. Robin Hifit got Small Fry, Crystal Guy got Gray Guy, Groove Guy got Groovum...”
”Yeah, Groove Guy and Groovum? Boy, those guys had great ideas,” the big one said, sarcastically. “Oh! And Snifit Guy got Me Guy!” Shy Guy explained.
Snifit sighed. “Yeah, I got stuck with this big doofus,” Snifit said, pointing to the muscleman. “The Shy King said that the 8-Bits had been living far too long eating out of the palms of the hands of the rest of the world, and that it was about time we stood up and took action. He said that once we got the seven body parts...”
”...We would get the girl!” Shy Guy added.
“We would get the goddess, Tondariya, back on our side, so she could lead us in our quest to fill the world with... ‘Shyness and Guyness’...” Snifit dragged that last part out, not wanting to say something so embarrassing.
“Shy Guyness... WHOO!” Shy Guy said, pumping his arms. Chak and David gave him a weird look.
Snifit continued. “It wasn’t easy tracking those things down,” he said. “We encountered many dangers along the way. We had picnics to ruin, new members to recruit, candy to eat, people to meet...”
”Yeah, like there was this magic Yoshi named Naji, this weird guy named Razule, this ice-breathing girl and her little sidekick named Blifit and Sackle, this guy dressed in black named Shmy Guy, this weird Koopa named Gorroh...” Shy Guy listed, counting on his non-existent fingers.
“There was even a group of seven evil clowns calling themselves the Demonic Jesters,” Snifit added.
“Yeah, they rocked!” Shy Guy commented.
“Them, and the Super Mushroom League, even,” Snifit said, darkly.
“Yeah, they had everything. There was this little brown guy, this creepy Yoshi guy, this Paratroopa with glasses named Holy Troopa, this pirate woman named Spatula, this superwoman named Cherry Blossom, this pink Yoshi girl named Yoshiki, this woman in a green dress named Doreen, this crazy Toad named Big T, and this-“
“Yeah, yeah, Shy Guy, they get the picture,” Snifit interrupted, noticing the confused looks on the faces of Chak and David. “That may have sounded tough and all,” continued Snifit, “but our most difficult adversary was this... wooden doll thing...” Snifit said that slowly since he felt he had no better way of describing it.
“Yeah, she said her real name was awkward and hard to pronounce and that we should call her Princess Shokora instead,” Shy Guy elaborated.
“She said she was, uh, named after the doll and that the doll was modeled after someone else,” Snifit established.
“That’s strange,” Chak said. David stared into the flickering fire, looking pensive.
“Yeah, we didn’t get it either,” said Shy Guy.
“Anyway,” Snifit said, picking the story back up, “once we got the sixth one, the whole lot of us had to head on over to the secret hideout of the Super Mushroom League, because supposedly the seventh one was being held there.”
“It was crazy. Everybody showed up! Including Naji, Razule, Blifit, Sackle, Shmy Guy, Gorroh, the Demonic Jesters, the Super Mushroom League, and-“
“And Princess Shokora,” Snifit interupted. “It was quite a battle. In the end, she cast this huge spell on us.”
“I thought I had gone nuts!” Shy Guy said.
”Yeah, I had no idea what just happened,” Snifit said. “One second, I was at the hideout, the next, I was in a bar, asking around.”
”I was in a junkyard,” Shy Guy clarified. Chak and David looked surprised.
“I was asking around,” Snifit continued, “and pretty soon, I found out...” he paused. He looked solemn. “Well... They said the Shy Gang was gone. The Shy King, Robin Hifit, Small Fry... All of them... Gone...” He shook his head.
”Well...” David said. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Ah, it wasn’t all bad,” Shy Guy said. “With the Shy Gang out of the way, I could laugh, I could cry, I could ride Dino Splash...”
”Me, though,” Snifit said, laughing slightly nervously afterwards, “I got abducted by space aliens...”
Chak and David both gave the gray-colored 8-Bit some wide-eyed stares as he threw that part into the story. Snifit shrugged his shoulders and went on with the explanation...
“So, then what happened?” Crookie asked Sackle. The two of them were still on the premises of Mad Scienstein’s lair with that wonderful robot, the Giga Mole, way in front of them. To pass the time, the two of them were sitting down against the stone wall right next to one of the counters of the vicinity.
“Well, then the wooden chick cast this big fat spell, and... uh...” Sackle hesitated. He scratched his temple, attempting to strain his brain for an answer. “I... landed in a corn field.”
Crookie was confused. “What?!” he asked.
“I, uh, don’t really know what happened, Crookie. Sorry,” Sackle responded.
Crookie’s face was plastered with disbelief. “Oh... Gosh...” he slowly let out.
Sackle continued the story. “Yeah, yeah. A while after that, I managed to find out that Blifit was dead, that Razule was no genius, just insane, and that I was on my own,” he resumed. “I went everywhere trying to find the doll. I climbed mountains, I visited cities... including one called Thornton...”
“Ohhh, yeahhh...” Crookie said, nodding. This part of this story was in his memory as well.
“There, I- Aw, nevermind. You know what happens,” Sackle said, interrupting himself and pushing the air in front of him sloppily with a hand.
”Yeah, I know. You saw that I was in deep, you saved my life, and you let me be your apprentice.”
“Yup,” Sackle agreed. With that, the discussion of past experiences was finally over with and it became time to move on to the next subject.
“Hey, Boss?” Crookie asked.
”Yeah?” Sackle responded.
”How exactly are we gonna be able to get one of those Giga Mole things, anyway?” the apprentice said.
“Well,” Sackle replied, holding his arms out, “we ask him if it’s okay for us to borrow one, and if he says no, then we just go ahead and borrow it from him anyway when he’s not looking.”
“Oh. Gotcha, Boss,” Crookie said. He asked another question. “Hey, Boss?”
”What?” Sackle said.
“When do we get to ask him?”
”We ask him,” the boss said, “as soon as he’s done rummaging around in his whatnots and shows us the way out.”
”Ah. Okay,” Crookie exclaimed. Speaking those words was what had brought another case to a close. However, other people still might have had a few issues to resolve at such an hour...
“Let’s see here... 1-Up Hearts, pumpkins, autographs...” Mad Scienstein was in another one of his stone rooms, glowing blue with the flames, all the while digging through some of his drawers trying to find whatever it was he claimed happened to be the key to getting off of the moon and back to the real world. This time, his hair was dry and his body was dressed. He had his lab coat on and was beginning to question his locating methods. He stopped the searching temporarily to sit up straight and scratch the back of his matted head. “Well, I know I have this stuff because of that one visit to Mario Land,” he thought out loud. “We rode a bus, we rode an airplane...” He trailed off contemplating over previous occurrences. He shook his head. “That’s enough rambling for the day. My guests are counting on me...” Using such a combination of sentences, he discontinued his musings and returned to hunting down a certain something. The eccentric man resumed the exploration and time dragged on...
“...So that was pretty interesting, to say the least,” Snifit said, finishing up the story. “Bottom line: the Shy Gang’s days are over (but Shy Guy’s aren’t, apparently), Tondariya’s still in pieces, and they, along with Naji, Razule, Blifit, Sackle, Shmy Guy, Gorroh, the Demonic Jesters, the Super Mushroom League, Princess Shokora, that one Yoshi I helped, and those space aliens could be anywhere right now, doing anything.”
”The End,” Shy Guy said dramatically, holding his arms out as he had at the start of the tale.
“Any questions?” Snifit inquired. David raised his hand. “Yes, David?” he said.
“You say you met a group of people known as the Demonic Jesters, correct?” he said, leaning forward, his face glowing a brighter orange color from the fire.
Snifit nodded. “Yeah,” he said.
“Tell us some more about them,” David requested.
“Okay,” Snifit said. “Ummm... I know they started off being known as the Evil Clowns, THEN they were the Demonic Jesters... I heard they were weak against something; I’m not sure. Anyway, I think we had troubles with them because they wanted to get Tondariya back also.”
”But get this,” Shy Guy said with his huge arms extended before him. “They wanted to do it... with a music box!” Chak and David looked surprised again. Shy Guy burst out laughing, leaning backwards and slapping a brawny hand against a knee.
Snifit shook his head. “Yeah... Those guys were great at playing music and all, but they stunk at doing research.”
”Yeah! Just like those Groove Guy and Groovum Guys were,” Shy Guy said after getting a hold of himself.
“Yup,” Snifit agreed. The fire in front of the quartet crackled and sent a few lighted specks of red into the air a while longer. Then Snifit spoke again. “Well,” he said, “any more questions?”
His other two companions looked at one another. The mutated one shook his head. They looked back and David responded. “No. I’m just hoping those clowns aren’t causing anymore trouble is all.”
“All right, then,” Shy Guy said, stretching his strong arms out behind him, “I guess we call it a night, then! Remember: tomorrow’s the big day!” The others nodded, not thinking any differently. After the agreement, the four of them began shuffling about, preparing themselves for a good night’s rest. Up above, the sky was black and shimmering with stars as though other beings out there were also wishing the four of them the best of luck in their endeavor. Also, another suspicious full moon was out. Down below, the adventurers were being left with thoughts of their own.
Since when was the moon round? Snifit thought. I guess it doesn’t matter. I’ve got crazy enough things to worry about, I guess...
I hope this ends well, thought Chak. I’m tired of looking like some big, ugly bug thing...
I’m tired of being small, thought David. I hope I don’t start wetting the bed again...
While his three teammates were thinking, so was Shy Guy. Man, he said in his head, I LOVE being huge...
Comments, suggestions,
stories, or story ideas? Email
me!
Go back to
Lemmy's
Fun Fiction.
Go back to my
main
page.