Chapter 24

The train had finally arrived at its destination. It slid its way between a few fences of black and white stripes, and then stopped at a station similar to that of the one Mt. Rugged had. Xoshi and White Rose hopped off it, were given regards by the two little Toads running the vehicle, and could continue their journey on foot.

While letting his rubber shoes take turns landing in different places against the white pavement of the town’s ground, Xoshi couldn’t help but notice as he walked along that this place was much greener in contrast to that of the yellow desert they had finally exited. The decrease in temperature this place took on was also a huge relief to Xoshi. At last, he could be surrounded by cool, refreshing air and kind people that came in various rainbow colors, not unlike the Yoshis of his homeland that this place faintly reminded him of. Toads of small and smaller sizes were what they walked among them on their way to their big destination. Such a place was exactly what Xoshi had in mind. He talked to Beel some about it, and let his mouth do the rest.

“Um,” he stammered. White Rose looked at him. “Shooting Star Summit... here... right?”

White Rose nodded. “Yes, Sir Xoshi. It’s here. It’s a bit of a walk from here to there, though,” he cautioned.

“Okay,” Xoshi said. Expecting yet more delays, and probably also accepting them, the brown Yoshi shut his mouth and continued trudging along with the desert-themed knight beside him...

Naptime was over. Therefore, Shy Guy, Snifit, Chak, and David decided it was time to wake up, leave their peaceful area, and head on through the woods of Kariboo Island. Upon embarking on this little hike of theirs, a question or two had to start emanating from what Snifit called a mouth.

“Hey, Shy Guy,” he asked the gigantic brute, “what do you know about Kariboo Island, anyway?” he asked.

“Well,” said the muscle man, “I know it’s where Goombas are native to.”

”So we might see some Goombas here?” Snifit guessed.

“Heh, you’ll see a lot of ‘em,” Shy Guy said back.

“I heard they weren’t liked much,” said Chak.

“That’s only because there are too many negative stereotypes of them,” David informed. “Stereotypes are not to entirely be trusted ever.”

“So,” Snifit evoked, “we’ll be seeing some nice ones?”

“Yeah, they’re pretty nice, I guess,” Shy Guy responded. “But, hey, don’t take my word for it...” At that moment, the quartet was at last out of another collection of rough shrubbery and vegetation and into one more vast opening. “See for yourself!” Shy Guy responded once they were in such a new location. This one consisted of a fair-sized village composed of strange buildings coming in rectangular shapes with somewhat trapezoidal roofs and circular windows. Their inhabitants, the supposedly good-natured Goombas, were walking around here and there. They mostly came in brown, just as their houses did. However, one of these buildings was gray, more fortress-like, and particularly bigger than the others, and the Goombas, themselves, were sulking everywhere, dragging their feet wherever they went. They had blank, emotionless expressions on their faces. The four travelers observed this new place with intrigue and a little concern. They emerged from the island’s batch of trees and went on walking until they reached a sign that read “Welcome to Goomba Grove.” A brown Goomba with an uninspired look appeared from behind it and shuffled to a place in front of the group.

“Greeeetings, travelers,” the Goomba said with about as much enthusiasm as a rusty doornail. “Weeeelcome to Goooomba Groooove.”

”That’s what the sign says!” Shy Guy pointed out. Snifit gave him another weird look. The gray guy took his gaze off the beefy one and took another moment to observe this Goomba. He didn’t seem to be acting any different from all the other mope-oholics in the village. Some of them were just meandering down the streets slowly as though there were invisible metal balls shackled to their ankles. The littler ones were very hesitantly and tiredly playing hopscotch, and the elderly ones were on their porch-swings being more sluggish than usual. Chak and David exchanged worried glances. Snifit returned his eyes to his muscular companion.

“So these are the so-called nice Goombas you were tellin’ us about?” he asked.

Shy Guy shrugged his big shoulders. “What’s up with you guys?” he said to the Goomba before them. “You’re not as cheery as you were the last time I was here.”

”The Goooomba Kiiiing,” the Goomba started. “He repealed some laaaaws. Now everyday at noooon, we don’t get to see funny shows anymoooore...” he explained in a mournful tone.

Chak looked at Shy Guy. “Shows?” he inquired.

“Yeah,” the giant said. “Each day, these people gather in the middle of town to see some shows get put on by comedians and magicians and whatnot. That’s what kept ‘em going, I guess.”

“But they don’t have those anymore, and now you’re all sad?” David spoke to the Goomba.

“We still have shoooows,” he corrected. “They’re just no fun anymoooore.”

”Ah, so that’s why you’re like this,” Snifit guessed.

“Noooope,” the Goomba said, while shaking his head in slow-motion. “I’m allllways like thiiiis.” Snifit placed a hand over his eyes, Shy Guy kept his huge arms folded, David blinked in disbelief, and Chak scratched the side of his deformed face. “I hoooope you enjooooy your staaaay...” the Goomba worded. He then began to shuffle his way back to where he came from until he was once again an unseen person hiding behind the welcoming sign. The group stood in silence, which complemented the mood of the town in a way. Then Shy Guy unfolded his arms, smacked a powerful fist into a palm, and started talking again.

“Idea,” he declared. The other three looked at him in wonder. “We go to that big gray building over there,” he pointed to that very architecture in the distance, “and we complain about this. Once we do, the Goomba King will admit he was wrong, and this village will return to normal! Come on, what do ya say?”

Snifit gave him a befuddled look. “Why do we have to do that?” he asked.

“We don’t have to,” David chirped. “It would just slow us down. I’d like to be an adult again as soon as possible, if you don’t mind. Besides, this isn’t our problem, anyway.”

“True, but if WE won’t do it, who will?” Chak said.

“That’s right!” Shy Guy agreed. “These people need our help! They’re countin’ on us to bring back their funniness!”

“No, they’re not,” Snifit argued, his head shaking with his arms folded.

“Come on, guys,” Shy Guy urged. “It’s just a little bump in the road! We’ll get through it! It won’t even take that long. We go see the king, talk to him, return everything to normal, everybody’s happy, and we move on. That’s all there is to it! It’s not like that treasure’s going anywhere, anyway.”

“Well, maybe, but...” Snifit said.

“Come on!” Shy Guy urged, his fin-like hands curling into things resembling fists in front of him and jiggling as his eagerness continued. Chak looked at David, who had an unsure facial expression and was scratching the back of his head.

“Fine, fine. Let’s just get this over with,” Snifit conceded.

“All right!” Shy Guy cheered.

David spoke up. “Well... I suppose it wouldn’t hurt too much.”

”YES!” Chak said.

Shy Guy rubbed his hands together enthusiastically. “Then it’s settled! We’re going to see the Goomba King! Come on. Let’s go!” He pumped his arms and got the march going again. Chak was the first to start following. Snifit and David stayed behind for a few seconds to exchange unsure glances. Then they started to walk after their humungous leader as well.

Raphael stood in the very same area he did when he'd promised to all the Yoshis of Lavalava Island that he would win their home back from his corrupted brother. He'd fulfilled that promise, and so the occasion just happened to be a rather special one. He stood there with the new guy and the cowardly guy, Yoshi and Fyooshi, right behind him. That one dark orange Yoshi that the easily frightened one took note of earlier was there, too. The four of them waited patiently for the moment to ensue. A periwinkle-colored Yoshi approached the heroic fowl with a black one and a white one behind him who were similarly being followed by a maroon one, a goldenrod one, a cerulean one, and a lime-colored one. They arranged themselves neatly before the new ruler, bowed, and did as they planned.

“Raphael,” said the one up front, “we sincerely thank you for all that you’ve done for us. Words cannot express the joy you’ve brought unto us, the citizens of Lavalava Island. Therefore, we have taken the liberty of preparing for you a symbol of our gratitude...”

“Please,” Raphael said. The Yoshi that just spoke to him looked a bit surprised. “There’s no need to be so formal. This is Lavalava Island, the tropical paradise! Let’s just relax. I need to loosen up, anyway.” The oversized bird ruffled his feathers and gave his head a quick shake. Still a little bewildered, that certain Yoshi stalled and blinked a bit, then continued talking.

“Yes, well...” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, we’re really grateful, so we’d like you to have this.” He stepped back and let Ren’s duo of former-fanners walk forward. They were holding a nicely detailed little statue of their savior. It was a very good-looking little object, complete with all the shine and smoothness one could ever ask for. The thing was made of a certain hard material that was very pretty and teal all over. Surely the Raven would have enjoyed this. Yoshi, Fyooshi, and the other guy were definitely impressed. Raphael seemed to be gazing at it in an equal amount of admiration. The periwinkle one went on. “We worked all night making this for you, Raphael. We hope you like it.”

Raphael looked at the reward, then at the Yoshi offering it, and then at the others behind him that were all smiling approvingly. He smiled back, looked ahead of himself, and responded at last. “I’m flattered,” he said. “I really am. But...” The Yoshis, both in front of him and behind him suddenly started looking at him with concerned faces. “But... Really, I got the island back for you so you wouldn’t have to make statues anymore. I mean...” The group of Yoshis that were offering this to him were beginning to droop in disappointment. Raphael searched for the right words. “I appreciate the gesture,” he said, “but I’m afraid I can’t accept this. I’d be no different from my brother.”

The periwinkle Yoshi fidgeted with his hands. Then he said, “So... Should we just... get rid of it, then?”

Raphael shrugged. “Do with it what you will. Just please... Don’t make any more of them, even if your leader goes insane and forces you to.” He got a few laughs from his visitors by saying that. The periwinkle one scratched the back of his head and walked around the two Yo’sters that were holding the statue. He took it from them in spite of its heaviness.

The Yoshi turned around and said, “All right then, Raphael.” He then walked past him and up to Fyooshi. The magenta-colored scaredy-cat looked shocked. The other two Yoshis looked confused. “Here you go, Fyooshi,” said the guy that just approached him. “Why don’t you have this? I guess you deserve it anyway. I mean, if it weren’t for you, Raphael wouldn’t have been able to come back, right?”

Fyooshi was speechless. He nervously let his hands massage one another as his eyes switched back and forth between looking at his new prize and the person offering it to him. “Um, sure. I guess so,” he agreed.

“Good,” said the other Yoshi. He held the statue out even further and Fyooshi extended his arms. The reward got lowered into his appendages, which sagged a bit as a result of the weight. He grunted slightly as the periwinkle Yoshi went back to being in front of Raphael. The black and white Yoshis had stepped back to allow this. “Well, Raphael, we just wanted to thank you for saving us. And don’t worry, we’ll take your advice. We won’t build any more statues, even if we have to.” He and his followers bowed to the hero after that. “Anyway,” he said, “you take it easy. I guess we all should, huh?” Raphael nodded. “Well... We’ll be seeing you!” Finally, the clique waved to the big, feathery man, turned around, and walked away from the scene. Raphael smirked in satisfaction. He turned himself around to address his three companions.

“Well, everyone,” he said, “it’s been long enough. I’d better be heading back to the tree. And Fyooshi,” he said to the statue-holding guy, “thank you. Thank you for sticking with me to the end.”

Fyooshi blushed. “Ah, it was nothing,” he said modestly.

“Watch over the village while I’m gone,” Raphael said. “And if you ever need me... just give me a call... Okay?”

“Sure thing,” Fyooshi nodded.

“All right. Over and out!” said the enormous Raven. He nodded to the Yo’ster trio, and they let him pass. At last, he shuffled his way out of the vicinity and back into the jungle. The threesome watched him disappear slowly into the ornery obstacle course of greenery. After letting his departure sink in, Fyooshi turned around and looked at Yoshi. The other dark orange attendant walked up beside the statue-holder. Yoshi was muddled.

“Anyway,” Fyooshi said, “this is my friend, Glishy. We’ve known each other for a long time now. He’s gonna help you figure out what in the world we’re all saying!”

Yoshi didn’t understand a word of that, but then the dark orange Yoshi started saying something. “He just introduced me,” he said. Yoshi’s eyes popped wide open. He wondered if he had gone crazy.

“You speak Yoshish?!” he asked. The new interpreter nodded.

“It’s one of the languages I know,” he said. He made a movement with his hand. “Come on,” he requested of the green Yo’ster. “I’ll show you what I mean.” Glishy started walking off in one direction. Shortly afterwards, Yoshi began his pursuit. Fyooshi called to his old friend.

”Good luck, Glishy!” he said. “I’ll just find a place to put this, all right?” He bobbed his newfound statue up and down in his arms. Glishy just waved to him. Not too long after that, Fyooshi got going as well. He walked in what was pretty much the opposite direction of where the other two had went, leaving the area that was previously occupied by so many people to be left all alone. Still, scattered throughout the village, the Yoshis wandered about, minding their own business and worrying over nothing that could ruin their day. Lavalava Island began its first day of peace...

Down the road, the four of Shy Guy, Snifit, Chak, and David wandered. Beside them and all around them were more strange houses and people that were dangerously low on motivation. Snifit had to ask another question. “Hey, Shy Guy,” he asked, “what exactly do you suppose these new shows they put on are like?”

DONG! DONG! DONG! DONG! A huge bell started ringing. All the civilians of the village stopped what they were doing, left their houses, left their yards, and started walking in one direction. It seemed to be a little to the left of where the group was headed. “Let’s find out!” Shy Guy insisted. Chak nodded at this proposal, but once again, Snifit and David weren’t too sure about this. Soon enough, they were back to following their two party members.

In time, a nice crowd of little brown Goombas had made it to their big gathering place: a big square-shaped patch of grass with a wooden stage built in the middle of it all. The red curtains were still covering it up and the bell was still sounding. After making it between more homes and down more roads, the courageous foursome had finally joined with the rest of the people. Unfortunately, they were way in the back so their view was a bit obscured. Shy Guy, being the supremely tall one, had no trouble with this, of course. With his arms folded, he could see perfectly well the curtains beginning to be pulled back once the bell stopped ringing. “Yyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...” the Goombas groaned.

“What?” David asked. “What’s going on? I can’t see a darn thing!” he complained. He started hopping up and down, only catching glimpses of what was to be seen by doing so.

“Here, lemme help you,” Shy Guy said. He unfolded his masculine arms and used his right one to reach over to the boy and grab a hold of the back of his collar. Effortlessly, he lifted the child up into the air. His arms and legs were flailing furiously.

“Hey! Put me down!” he protested. Shy Guy ignored the order and set him down so he’d have a seat behind the back of his neck in a position that had his short legs hanging past either side of the big man’s head. Shy Guy got a hold of those legs with each hand. “What is the meaning of this?!” David argued.

“You can see now, can’t you?” Shy Guy said. Indeed, he could. The crowd was still mumbling as a Goomba in a black tuxedo walked onto the middle of the stage. All of this could be seen above the Shy Guy’s cranium thanks to his service.

“Hmph,” David grumbled. He watched the spiffy-looking Goomba stop in the middle of the stage and face the audience.

It’s bad enough I look like a child, David thought. I don’t have to be treated like one, too.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” said the Goomba to the viewers. “Today, we shall show you a tale of good battling evil. A tale of the hardcore struggles that were faced in order to form these lands and the founding fathers that fought for it all.”

”Oh, brother. Another history lesson,” Chak heard a bored Goomba mutter.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the main speaker said, “Presenting... The Tale of the Shy War!” He took a bow and walked off the stage. The audience let loose another moan of a not very excited cheer, and the show began. Four Goombas walked on. They were each clad in red robes and their faces were hidden by masks very much like the one Shy Guy had, except one of them had a big white mustache.

“Look, Snifit! It’s us!” Shy Guy said excitedly.

“Great,” Snifit mumbled. “They’re gonna make us look like idiots. I know it.”

A disembodied voice with a very bored tone to it started telling the audience what exactly was going on. “It all began with the formation of a certain cult... or something like that...” the narrator said.

“Actually, that’s about right,” Snifit said quietly. The show continued. The Goombas dressed like 8-Bits started acting like they were talking to each other. The narrator continued discussing this.

“They called themselves the Shy Gang,” the voice said. The four Goombas did a dramatic pose. “They decided if they could bring the female monster, Tondariya, back from the dead, they could take over the world and do whatever they liked.”

”That’s totally not right,” Snifit pointed out.

The Goombas pretending to be 8-Bits nodded to each other and walked off the stage. Then four more walked on, but these ones weren’t dressed in anything. They had beady eyes painted on their white stomachs and their faces were red with white spots. “Once the Super Mushroom League heard of this, they decided to take action.” The four Goombas representing the Super Mushroom League nodded to each other and walked a little more. Then the four Shy Gang Goombas walked back from where they had disappeared. The two groups spotted each other and started acting like they were fighting. They did it very uncaringly. The Goombas would just hop back and forth. Whenever one of the Shy Gang ones would do so much as even just nick one of the Super Mushroom League ones, they would plop down onto the stage’s floor and remain motionless as well as emotionless. Soon, all four members of the Super Mushroom League were down. The Shy Gang left. “However, overcoming the Shy Gang was a completely different matter.” The downed Goombas got back up, pretended to talk some more, nodded, and walked offstage. Then the montage began. They would walk back on along with a few other Goombas in dumb costumes whenever the narrator would introduce some new tidbit of information. “They had to team up with a magical Yoshi... A strange Raven with a unibrow... An 8-Bit with ice-elemental powers... An 8-Bit wearing a black robe... A Sackit with a grouchy disposition... And even a Koopa and the famous heavy metal band, the Demonic Jesters...”

“What the- They didn’t team up with them!” Snifit objected.

“Snifit, hush!” Shy Guy said.

“But they’re getting it all wrong! It was way more complicated than that!”

“HUSH!”

The narrator continued. With a beefed-up army, the Super Mushroom League walked up to the Shy Gang, but their numbers seemed to be just as prodigious. “Then, at last, the final battle ensued.” The two groups went at it, but it was basically just a repeat of the fight scene that the actors failed to portray earlier. Audience members were beginning to lose consciousness. “When all hope was nearly lost, this big, great angel showed up and invited everyone to a tea party... The Mushroom Tea Party...” A Goomba with angel wings and a halo showed up to demonstrate what the narrator was talking about.

“What in the name of Bonus Games?” Snifit grumbled.

“At the tea party, the two groups finally got to discuss their differences and sign a treaty. Then they had a toast and peace was restored to the lands. And that was about it. The End... I guess...” The curtain closed on the tea party scene. No one applauded. They were all too busy sleeping. The only sound of clapping was coming from the way back.

“I knew they’d make us look like idiots,” Snifit muttered.

”Well, that was a waste of- WOAH!” David fell off Shy Guy’s back. The muscleman let go of his legs so he could start the loud action of slapping his hands together.

“WOOHOO! BRAVO! BRAVO! ENCORE! ENCORE!” he cheered. He even started making whistling sounds by injecting his hands into that hole in his mask. WHUMP. The sound of Shy Guy’s obnoxious praises was beginning to wake the crowd up, but the sound of David hitting the ground woke Chak up.

“Hm? What was that? Has the show started yet?” the mutated man asked. Snifit was busy helping David back onto his feet.

“You all right, David?” the 8-Bit asked.

“Yes, I’m quite fine, thank you.” Once David was standing again, he swept some dust off himself, and said, “Shy Guy, you’d make a terrible father.” Hearing this, the big man turned around while various Goombas behind him were beginning to pack their things and go.

“Daddy, dat pway was boooh-wiiiing,” they heard one kid say.

“I know, Junior, I know,” said the parent.

“No, I wouldn’t!” Shy Guy defended. “I’d be the best dad ever! My son would crawl up onto my lap each night, and he’d say, Daddy, tell me a stowy.

“And I’d be like, Okay, son! Tonight, I shall tell the story of-“

“What REALLY happened!” Snifit fumed. He looked at Chak and David. “Come on. We told you guys just the other night what happened! They, like, only had about 50 percent of their facts straight!”

”Which is why you should never trust textbooks, either,” David commented.

“Never say never,” Chak retorted.

“Well, what’s it matter anyway, guys? We saw the play, now let’s go!” Shy Guy said. He started walking back in the direction of the Goomba King’s fortress. The others started walking as well.

”Indeed! We have yet to show that tyrant what’s good for him,” Chak agreed.

“Yeah, and we’ll have to give him a history lesson or two,” Snifit griped.

“No one should be forced to endure something that boring,” David said.

Shy Guy suddenly stopped in his tracks. He turned around and looked at David with his overgrown arms spread out. “Boring?! Are you out of your mind?! That was the greatest performance I’ve ever seen!”

“Did THEY enjoy it??” David retaliated. He gestured at the Goombas around them, who had returned to sulking and walking extra slowly. Some of them were even crawling on the ground using their faces to wipe against it and their stubby feet to push themselves forward. Their spirits had not been raised in the least by this uninteresting spectacle. “Is that the kind of show you want these people to continue seeing? A second ago, you were saying it wasn’t,” David pointed out.

“I-“ Shy Guy raised a hand like a pointing finger and was going to present his comeback, but the little kid had a good point. He put his arm down and started rubbing the bottom of his mask. “Hmmm...” he hummed. Then he shrugged his big shoulders. “Well... I guess we could reach some kind of compromise,” he suggested.

“That’s fine with me. Now let’s go get that Goomba King!” Chak insisted.

“All right! And then we can see what we can do about these shows!” Shy Guy declared.

“RIGHT!” his three companions said simultaneously. Then the four of them started making a sprint for the fortress. They were the most energetic people in the entire village...

SHUNK! Seven... Seven... Cherry. “Aww, darn it!” Yazzee cursed.

He said he’d have liked it better had the last symbol been another seven rather than a cherry.”

In spite of the slot machine’s last symbol, Yazzee was still on a roll. KCKHSQCHSHTT! A bunch of coins spilled out of the device and a crowd cheered. Piantas and Nokis had gathered to see the yellow Yo’ster constantly break records. Beside him in the gambling center of that hotel he entered, there was a pile of bags with his name on them. He was ahead, but not quitting. He inserted another coin into the machine, took another tug at its handle, and watched the wheels spin. This was the routine of Yazee and SPOWT, and it wasn’t ceasing...

“The casino? Ah, yes, sir. It’s right this way.”

“Good.”

A Pianta in uniform stepped aside and let three floating carrot people walk through the door that was behind him a second ago. Carro, Boscis, and their ugly leader were finally at their destination...

Seven... Seven... Star. “Grrrr!” Yazzee fumed. Regardless, SPOWT translated, coins spilled out, and a crowd cheered. The entertainment of the day had no dull moment in sight. Then the carrots walked in. Once they were at the end of the aisle of velvet ropes, the leader noticed the gigantic room was circular. It had two sets of slot machines, two tremendously oversized slot machines built into the walls, two fountains, and something that was being covered by some red curtains. In the center of it all was a humungous roulette wheel built into the ground. To his left was the place with the slot machines and the people going crazy.

“What’s all the commotion?” the leader asked a nearby Pianta that worked at the place.

“Some Yoshi over there is winning it big!” said the portly employee. “All he does is mumble gibberish, and he’s making history over there!”

“A Yoshi? Making history? On the contrary,” the unattractive carrot man grumbled. “Step aside!”

”Yes, sir!” The Pianta obeyed. The three carrots floated over to where all the glory was being hogged. Once they reached all the rambunctious people, the pushing, shoving, and demanding got going.

“All right, people, let’s move it. Go on, now. Make way. Coming through!” the leader growled. The crowd members were a little annoyed by this intrusion, but they complied anyway. At last, the leader and Yazzee were side by side. Seven... Seven... Turnip.

“Blast it!” Yazzee said.

“What the-?“ the carrot leader grumbled. It seemed that one Pianta wasn’t lying when he said this Yoshi only spoke gibberish. The machine on its back started talking.

”He said he must try again.”

“Oh, yeah? Well I say there’s only room in Isle Delfino for ONE slot machine champion, and it’s NOT gonna be HIM!” The crowd gasped at the leader’s words. SPOWT turned its head around to translate the carrot’s words to Yazzee. The yellow Yoshi was about to insert another coin, but then he turned around to look this new person in the eye.

“Are you telling me you wanna prove who’s the better gambler, or something?” Yazzee said to the orange man. SPOWT translated this.

“Of course that’s what I’m saying, you loon! Nobody upstages King Carrot. Nobody!” The crowd was starting to get nervous and excited. Yazzee and his new enemy, King Carrot, began to stare each other down viciously. Only time could tell exactly what was going to happen next...

The Goomba King’s fortress was built atop a nice, big platform that was just as gray and brick-oriented as its main attraction. The four of Shy Guy, Snifit, Chak, and David ran up the steps, across a stone walkway, past a few Goombas leaving the building, and burst through the double doors.

“GOOMBA KIIIIIING!” Shy Guy bellowed once he and his group had skidded to a halt. They were in some kind of reception area with a desk in one corner and a bunch of seats arranged for waiting. There was a small number of Goombas populating the vicinity. One of them was wearing a tuxedo and was right in front of the angry mob. Their serious facial expressions and poses along with their muscle power and their axe could not be ignored by this individual.

“O-ho! So it’s finally happening...” the Goomba in the tuxedo said while smirking. He suddenly raised his voice and the few Goombas that were in the room scattered. “RED ALERT! RED ALERT! TERRORISTS ARE HERE FOR THE GOOMBA KING! I REPEAT, TERRORISTS ARE HERE! RED ALERT! RED ALERT!”

Shy Guy ran up to the screaming man and delivered a harsh kick into his gut. PUNT! The Goomba went flying down the hallway. He was down for the count. However, Chak could hear a sea of footsteps coming their way from quite a few directions surrounding them. He took his gigantic axe off of his back and readied it.

“So much for the warm welcome,” the axe-wielder muttered. He swung his weapon in preparation. “Let’s give ‘em all we got!”

“Yes, let’s!” Shy Guy agreed. He reached behind himself and pulled out a huge, stone, Y-shaped weapon. It vaguely resembled something he recognized. “WOAH! What happened to my slingshot?!”

“It got clubbified,” Snifit answered. He was twisting his head around, trying to make sure he wouldn’t pull any muscles in the upcoming battle.

“Woah,” Shy Guy said, examining his new and improved slingshot. “That’s interesting.”

“Enough chat. We’ve got work to do!” David grabbed a hold of something by his right hip with his right hand and held it out with the help of all ten fingers. Shy Guy looked at his weapon of choice and was surprised. He gasped.

“David, you’ll put someone’s eye out with that thing!” he protested.

“I know, I know,” the little boy said. He had his pistol pointed ahead of him, waiting for the pending trouble. It came. Within seconds, the flood was upon them. From the hallway here, the hallway there, and even the air ducts over their heads, the enemy Goombas rushed in. They were still wearing their poorly-done costumes from the play, but the intruders could see from a closer distance than before that they all had tattoos, missing teeth, and were in desperate need of some shaving.

“IT’S PARTY TIME!” Shy Guy yelled. As if on cue, the dubious Goombas started lunging, kicking, and tumbling at their enemies to bite them, headbonk them, and whatnot. In return, Shy Guy started whipping cannonballs out of nowhere, placing them in his overgrown slingshot, and firing away. Snifit started testing out some new techniques on the foes, Chak started swinging his axe, and David started shooting this way and that way as part of the bout.

The Goombas representing the Shy Gang tried showing Shy Guy what they were made of, but it was no use. BAM! BAM! BAM! One by one, he was able to take each of them down with some of his hard-hitting cannonballs. Each one visibly dealt damage to his adversaries. One of them got the wind knocked out of him, another got his mask shattered to pieces, a different one got his mustache exploded into a million little hairs, and the last one got nailed in the gut so he went flying down a hallway just like the one in the tuxedo did. Once those four guys were down, it was the Super Mushroom League’s turn, but Shy Guy was ready...

Snifit was taking on a mob consisting of a bunch of Goombas dressed as Yoshis, Ravens, and more. Like Shy Guy, this was no problem for him. This was mostly due to the fact that instead of pellets, he discovered that he could fire hoops of incinerating light at his foes. This caught him by surprise at first, but he soon adjusted. They would try their fancy attacks and their thorn-spitting maneuvers, but Snifit would just spit back. He was winning. One dressed in a blue robe and a gas mask got a brand new costume consisting of ashes and smoke, and another in a black robe and a white mask got to suffer a similar fate. This batch of fighters was taking a great beating from this 8-Bit, but still they refused to give in...

Goombas with rubber noses were no match for David. Few of them even dared to try attacking him. They were the ones that ended up with bullet wounds. Others would just flee in cowardice. They would go after other intruders, but it wasn’t as though they needed the help of David’s intimidatingly quickly-paced pistol. One Goomba suddenly showed up out of nowhere. He was flying through the air, in perfect preparation to deliver a spinning sidekick to the boy’s face. This enemy wasn’t fast enough. BANG! The tiny troublemaker got nailed in the foot. He fell to the floor and rolled to one side, groaning in agony. David remained on the look-out for more annoyances asking for a lesson to be taught...

The Goombas that David was facing were giving him a break. Instead, they decided to team up with the one dressed as an angel and gang up on the mutated one. That was no easy task, either. Assault after assault, move after move, nothing worked. The axe-wielder would simply swing his weapon horizontally, vertically, and in every other way that helped. Some blows merely clanged against the stone floor, resulting in the scattering of some gray particles from newly made marks in the ground. Others would just sail over their heads. It seemed they were concentrating more on dodging the bug’s attacks than actually trying to counter them. At some point, the angel one finally managed to work up some courage and leap through the air for a headbonk attack. SHIK! SHIK! With expert skill, the bug was able to chop off the wings of the pest. The Goomba fell to the floor in shock. Chak got another good hold of his weapon. The Goombas that were all over him started having second thoughts. They suddenly turned around and started running back through the halls where they came from.

Shy Guy placed another oversized cannonball in his transformed slingshot, Snifit started sucking in some air, David began to reload, and Chak remained poised with his axe. The Goombas didn’t want any more of this. They, too, turned around and ran off. Both Chak and Shy Guy began to lower their weapons.

”Hahaha!” Shy Guy laughed. “I guess we showed ‘em, eh?”

”Perhaps we did,” Chak agreed. He started to return his axe to his back.

Snifit looked suspicious. “You sure the coast is clear?” he asked.

“I doubt it,” David warned. “Be on guard!”

“Indeed,” Chak said. He pulled his axe back out. “They’re coming back!”

“What?! Don’t those idiots know when to give up?” Shy Guy fumed. He put his giant slingshot back up and readied another metal sphere. His other two companions maintained their fighting stances as well. While waiting uncomfortably for the next wave to arrive, the four of them could hear rumbling sounds between pauses and feel rough vibrations in their feet. Both gradually became more and more prominent as the clock ticked. Foom... FOOM... FOOM!...

“What are they up to?!” Chak griped. The others were wondering very much the same thing. FOOM!!! Finally, their questions were answered. They looked up as two new enemies showed up in one of the hallways. More specifically, it was just the two dressed up as a Sackit and a Koopa, but armed with these colossal, green boots with wind-up keys rotating in the back. Their mushroom-like heads poked out of the tops of these things as they manned them, somehow. The two parties glared at each other, and then the mayhem could ensue once more. Simultaneously, the two Goombas caused their mechanical boots to fly up into the air and come crashing down on the quartet. Shy Guy, Snifit, Chak, and David scattered just in time. WHAM! Clouds of dust flew from where the dangerous duo landed. The intruders were a little dizzy and visually-impaired from the blow and the dust, but tried soon to get a hold of themselves.

“All right, you asked for it!” Shy Guy threatened. He aimed his cannonball at the one dressed like a Sackit, and fired. Unfortunately, this was when it used its gigantic boot to jump up into the air for another attack. WHACK! The cannonball bounced off the sole of this boot. Flustered by this turn of events, Shy Guy reached for another cannonball. But then... WHAM! The boot crashed down hard atop his head. Feeling woozy while the enemy was busy hopping off where it landed, Shy Guy dropped his club-like slingshot, and fell forward without consciousness.

”SHY GUY!” Snifit shrieked. He angrily tore his gaze off the downed brute and looked at the Sackit Goomba. He was ready to fire another one of his glowing rings at the guy, but WHAM! He got knocked out, too.

“Oh, goodness,” David fretted.

”Well, it looks like it’s up to us!” Chak declared. He ran forward for the one dressed as a Koopa that had knocked out the other 8-Bit with his axe held high. The Koopa Goomba took note of this, but didn’t take action. Chak jumped through the air and slammed his blade into the boot. CRISSHH! His weapon got shattered into a million pieces. He fell back in shock. “NO! MY AXE!” he wailed.

“I’ll have no more of this,” David growled. He pointed his pistol at the one dressed as a Koopa. But first, he heard a grunt and a thud. He looked at Chak, who had fallen unconscious for some reason. “CHAK! NOT YOU, TOO?!” he yelled. Suddenly, the Sackit one leapt up from behind the other Goomba and landed in front of David. The force knocked him to the ground. His pistol flew from his grasp. “NO!” the boy yelled. Suddenly, the Goomba in front of him started making snorting noises. David looked up helplessly in confusion. The Goomba fired. TSING! David grabbed one side of his neck with his left hand. The fiend had spat some kind of little needle into it. “You...” he tried saying. “Dishonorable...” He couldn’t finish his sentence. Everything got dark and his mind grew foggy. Then he just passed out. The last thing he could hear before slipping away was the triumphant laughter of these two jerks...

Things were beginning to heat up at the casino. Both the crowd and the two of Yazzee and King Carrot had stepped aside to allow a new person to waltz into the scene. It was a blue-shelled Terrapin in a sparkling white tuxedo wearing a pair of gold-rimmed glasses. He walked up to the two rival gamblers with his cane in hand and two cronies beside him. One of them was a Terrapin in a scruffy, brown suit and a dark red shell. The other crony was slightly shorter and had on a yellow shell and a T-shirt. Once standing before the two gamblers, the guy in the white tux stopped and turned around to face the spectators. His fellow gangmembers turned around as well and stood beside him.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,” said the white tuxedo-wearing one, “let’s get this contest going.” The crowd began to murmur amongst themselves excitedly. This new man turned around and looked at the two scowling gambling fanatics. Yazzee was pounding his fist into his palm, and King Carrot was simply grimacing with his two lackeys behind him. The man started speaking again. “Here, we have two angry men, both of which would like to show the other who’s who in the world of gambling.” He turned around to face the viewers. “What you are about to witness is a show of luck, skill, and mostly luck.” He turned around again. This time, he looked at the yellow Yoshi. “Yazzee Yoshino, citizen of Yoshi’s Island...” he said to him. He gestured to the other guy. “And King Carrot, resident of unknown parts...” He faced them both. “The first to get a triple-seven shall be the victor. In addition to this, he will get all of the money his opponent earned through all his misturns as well as his own. Until then, I, ProZD Koopa, the contest judge, will be calling all the shots. Each round, I will count to three, and you two will pull the levers. You will stop at will. This contest won’t be over until it’s over.” SPOWT translated this to Yazzee. The two of him and King Carrot nodded at their judge’s words, still bearing serious looks. “Just remember,” ProZD said, “this is a contest, and nothing more. There will be no pulling of the lever before I’m done counting or you will be penalized. Also, no kicking or punching from the sore-loser will be tolerated. Understood?” SPOWT did its translating and Yazzee and King Carrot nodded. “Good,” said ProZD. He walked away from the contestants. “Places, everyone!” he called out. Yazzee and King Carrot got into their respective seats before their own slot machines. They turned their heads to give some dirty looks to one another.

King Carrot snarled. “Grrr...”

Yazzee made a high-pitched growling sound. “Brrr!”

The audience started murmuring some more and Carro and Boscis started swapping comments. “The boss is in way over his head!” Carro whimpered. “Look at that guy! He’s up to his ears in loot!” The lesser carrot was referring to Yazzee’s pile of money-filled bags.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Boscis. “The boss’ll be fine.”

One of ProZD’s attendants, the one with the red shell, turned to the yellow-shelled one and said, “Say, Boland, which of these two people is your money on?”

“Mm, I’m not sure,” said Boland. He turned to his partner. “What about you, Kohler?”

“I’m going with the carrot,” said the red-shelled man. “He looks more experienced...” The one betting on King Carrot was referring to the wrinkles upon the face of Yazzee’s opponent. Surely, in some way, that was a plus.

”If you say so.”

”They’re betting to see who will win the contest.”

“Heh,” Yazzee chuckled. “Funny... They used to do the exact same thing to Boshi...”

ProZD pulled a handgun out of one of his pockets. He pointed it in the air and began the countdown. “Ready?” he asked the contestants. They both nodded. “All right... One... Two...” Yazzee and King Carrot both sat in their seats, waiting anxiously for that third number. Their eyes didn’t blink and their grips on the levers weren’t relenting. Finally, it came. “THREE!” BANG! SHUNK! ProZD pulled the trigger, the wheels started spinning, and the crowd was going crazy. There wasn’t a single soul in the room not affected by the eruption of this contest. Yazzee and King Carrot began pouring their hearts out, eager to see the outcome of this competition. Everyone watched and waited...

At first, Shy Guy, Snifit, Chak, and David were unconscious. Everything was completely black and uninformative. Then they came to, and things started to gradually make a little more sense.

“Well,” said Shy Guy, rubbing his scalp while sitting on the stone floor, “that did a number on MY noggin!”

“You’re telling me,” Snifit agreed. He was making similar movements and stretching his body while he was at it.

”Where are we?” Chak asked.

“In a dungeon, of some sort?” David suggested, rubbing his neck.

“Correct,” they heard say a voice that wasn’t too far from them. They turned their heads in the direction of where this voice sounded. “You’re in the Goomba King’s fortress’ dungeon. Or should I say my dungeon?” The person that was speaking was a Goomba with two tufts of black hair sticking out of his face to call a mustache, a pair of pants that were striped blue and white, and a crown with a blue cushion to match atop his head. Whoever this guy was, his words seemed to clear a few things up. The place they found themselves in was just as stone and gray as the others of the fortress. They were in a four-sided room with a high ceiling and stairs leading to a door with a barred window. The four of them, in addition to this crowned Goomba, were with four more consisting of a Goomba in a white lab coat, a Goomba dressed as a lumberjack, a Goomba with green skin and a pair of antennae, and a Clumph.

“What in the name of Bonus Games?” Snifit muttered.

“Hey, who are you people?” Shy Guy asked. “And aren’t you the Goomba King? Everyone says your plays are boring.”

“True,” said the crowned Goomba. “They do. And yes, I am the Goomba King. Or should I say I was?”

”What happened?” David said.

“One day,” the story began, “a Goomba and his gang of misfits had come to our town. They wanted to overthrow me, and they did. More specifically, they threw me and my four best actors in here. That Goomba now runs Goomba Grove pretending to be me, and his gang is pretending to be the actors.” His quartet of humble servants shook their heads solemnly.

“That’s terrible,” Chak sympathized.

“Yes, I know,” the crowned Goomba nodded. “Ever since, we have been dwelling down here, knowing that an imposter is running the show, but not knowing how to get out of here.”

"Then I guess we were looking for the fake Goomba King," David said.

"Yeah, we gotta teach that guy a lesson or two," Snifit stated.

"It's the right thing to do!" Chak exclaimed. The real Goomba King nodded.

"It's wonderful that you wish to help us," the royal Goomba replied, "but I'm afraid we're stuck here."

Shy Guy had the bottom of his mask in his hand out of contemplation. Then he removed it from its place, turned it into a fist and smacked it into the palm of the other hand. “Doc,” he said to the town’s former ruler, “you just leave that to me! I know plenty of ways out of here!”

The other eight inhabitants in the vicinity all let their eyes widen at the brutal 8-Bit. “You do?!” said the authentic Goomba King.

“Is there anything you don’t know?” Snifit muttered, shaking his head.

Everyone watched as the gigantic Shy Guy waltzed up the stairs and stopped before the door leading to that place. “This door,” he said while beginning to crack his knuckles. "I can just knock it down!" A good portion of the people in the room gasped at the 8-Bit's words and started murmuring amongst themselves.

"Now why didn't I think of that?!" the Clumph muttered.

Shy Guy stretched his muscles in preparation. He kept his eyes on the prize, readied one beefy arm, and...

"Wait!" said the Goomba in the lab coat. With his concentration ruined, Shy Guy dropped his arm and turned around. "If you're going to knock something down, make it that wall over there!" The Goomba gestured toward his right and Shy Guy looked to his left. The other members of the dungeon were making similar movements so they, too, could have a look at said wall. "Those boots they use..." the Goomba said. "No one can get past them." He strut over to the wall he was talking about, walking between Snifit and Chak to his left and David to his right. "If my calculations are correct, then knocking this down will lead us to a shortcut to the control room where we can cut off their power source. Then you'll be able to find the Goomba King with ease!"

With his arms folded, Shy Guy considered this Goomba's proposal and gave a questioning look to Snifit. "It's worth a shot," the gray 8-Bit said. Shy Guy nodded and descended the stairs. He lumbered over to where the lab coat-wearing Goomba was and started preparing himself for the blow like before.

"All right, everyone, stand back!" the muscleman requested. Everyone took a few steps back as they were told. The Goomba that was next to him took several. Shy Guy eyed the wall carefully, then after getting himself as ready as possible, leaned back and held up his right fist. Everyone watched in anticipation as this bodybuilder prepared for the demolition. Then he shot his powerful fist forward and CRASH! It slammed against the wall's stone surface and caused a prodigious portion of what he had hit and what was surrounding it to suddenly give away and crumble into a pile of broken bricks. Everyone saw this in pure awe, but could only see a cloud of dust acting as the result of this destructive man's actions. Then the cloud disappeared, and they could see that a whole new door had been added to the sanctum. A cavern lay beyond that. The Goomba that told the Shy Guy to do this was more than pleased.

"Eureka!" he shouted. "It's still here!" He excitedly scuttled up to the new door and stood beside Shy Guy. "This cave leads to two places: the Goomba King's room, and the control room. To the control room we go!" After that, he hopped onto the pile of rubble that had been created and ran off into the darkness. The other seven members of the place got up off the floor and began to follow the calculative one's example. The lumberjack Goomba and the green Goomba ran on through. The Clumph stopped before Shy Guy to precede his action of leaving the dungeon as well.

"You're a piece of work, you know that?" the burly creature said to him. Shy Guy scratched the back of his head. "I could learn something from you..." With that, the Clumph left the place as well. Next, it was the real Goomba King's turn.

"Thank you, strong one," he said. "I feel as though hope is just around the corner. Come! We mustn't dilly-dally!" After saying this, the crowned Goomba scurried on through like the others did.

Chak went next. "You truly are amazing, Shy Guy," said the bug man.

"Aw, go on," Shy Guy said. Chak also walked through the new door. David was up.

"You're one surprise after another," the boy said. "I still think you'd make a terrible father, though."

"Hee hee," Shy Guy chuckled. Snifit looked annoyed.

"All right, all right. Shy Guy's awesome. Can we go already?" said the gray one. The other two seemed to agree.

"All right," said David. "We go." He walked through the door as the sixth person to do so. Snifit was about to be the seventh, but once he got onto the rubble, Shy Guy bent down and ensnared the smaller person in a vicious hug. He lifted his kicking teammate off the ground forcefully and commenced squeezing.

"Lemme go, you big oaf!" Snifit demanded.

"Snifit... You said I'm awesome! I'm so happy," the emotional Shy Guy stated. He squeezed some more and Snifit squirmed some more. With much difficulty, the smaller 8-Bit was at last able to release himself from the muscular person's grasp, slide through his massive arms, and plop back onto the rubble. The landing was rough. He tried to shake the feeling off.

"Yeah, yeah. Can we go now?" he asked.

Shy Guy folded his arms and nodded. "Let's go!" he cheered. At last, the duo of Shy Gang-members could leave the place...

Soon after that, a group of nine was wandering through a cave hidden somewhere amidst the fortress of Goomba Grove. Walking around in the dark for a while, impatience got to Shy Guy, so he called out to the first Goomba to enter this new place.

”Hey, brainy guy,” he said, “how much longer ‘til we get to that control room you keep talking about?”

”It’s just a littl- OOF!” While he was talking, he bumped his face flat against a rock wall. OOF! OOF! OOF! OOF! A bunch of other people ended up colliding into him as a result. That cavern was too dang dark. Once they all backed away and rubbed their sore areas, the Goomba up front got to speaking again. “This is the fork,” he said. “To the left leads to the Goomba King’s room. To the right is where we’re going.”

”All right! Let’s go!” Shy Guy said. The group started to turn to the right and head down a slightly different path in the underground vicinity. They trekked onward until they started hearing things that spelled bad news.

”HEY, THEY’RE GONE!”

”LOOK! THE WALL!”

”Of all the- Come on. They can’t be far.”

Chak heard these voices from behind and put their meaning into words. “Incoming! More villains are on the loose!” he yelled. The other members of the group started to murmur worriedly.

“For goodness’ sake,” David grumbled. He reached for his gun, and got a hold of only air. Confused, he started patting around other areas of his clothes in search of the device. “What the- My gun’s gone!”

”And I lost my axe trying to fight one of those things,” Chak growled. “Blast it!”

The Goombas that used to run the town were starting to get nervous by the sound of these new disadvantages. Snifit took note of how Shy Guy was patting around for his weapon the way David had. He shook his head. Then he took it upon himself to calm the crowd. “Don’t worry about it!” he announced. All eyes turned to him. “You guys just go on ahead. I’ve got this one taken care of!” He stepped away from the clique and started stretching. He didn’t hear footsteps behind him. He turned around and noticed they were still standing around, looking at him. “GO!” he ordered. That snapped them out of it. They started jogging to the right as they were meant to earlier. Snifit heard the sounds of their feet fade away and saw the image of the oncoming angry Goombas fade in.

”THERE’S ONE OF ‘EM! GET ‘IM!” Snifit heard. The Goombas charged but Snifit just stood there shaking his head. Once they got close enough, TSSEEWW! He used his rod-like snout to fire another one of his new hoop-shaped projectiles of energy to fry an entire row of enemies. They fell to the ground as a clutter of charred Goombas. The ones that remained standing looked at their fallen comrades and this new opponent in horror.

“This guy’s too much!” one of the Goombas complained. “We must retreat!”

”No way! It’s just a gnat and his doughnuts! How hard can it be?!” barked another one. His peers whimpered at the sound of this and the menacing look on Snifit’s face. Reluctantly, they started running towards him again.

“I’ll show you what a gnat and his doughnuts can do,” Snifit said below his breath. TSEW! TSEW! TSEW! More crispy Goombas were made. They were no match for this dangerous person, yet the fighting continued...

The path that the rest of the group had taken only led to another wall. After being told to do so, Shy Guy started putting his strength to good use and unleashed it by making yet another doorway with a pile of rubble beneath it. CRASH! After this, the nine of them filed their ways into the room that this new portal had behind it and, in the process, managed to discover exactly what they had been looking for. This new room was very cold and sterile as the place was made of metal. It consisted of a huge, block-shaped machine with various blinking lights, tubes, and wires sticking out of it and a large computer-screen right next to it that stood atop a vast control panel. Before this display of buttons was another Goomba in a lab coat sitting in a rotating chair. The team that had entered this place stood where the new hole had been made and grabbed the technician’s attention. He spun around and looked at these intruders. He let out a shrill gasp.

“Who are you?!” he demanded. “What are you doing here?!”

”Dr. Goom, I presume?” said the other lab coat-wearing Goomba. The Clumph was looking eager. His calculative companion looked at the eager one and nodded. The Clumph got the message and pulled out his club. Everyone watched as he stomped his way over to the guy in the rotating chair. He started pleading for mercy.

“No, no, NO!” the Goomba begged, shaking his head vigorously. “You don’t want to hurt me! I’m very important! PLEASE!”

KONK! Too late. The Clumph brought his weapon down hard against the enemy’s skull, who went out like a light. He slipped into unconsciousness, groaned, and slid off his seat. The group witnessed his plopping onto the floor, and carried their activities forward.

“Good work,” said the calculative Goomba who hadn’t been knocked out. The Clumph nodded back. He turned around and looked at the green Goomba and the lumberjack one. “Now you two go do something about that machine!”

”Affirmative, sir,” said the green one.

“Hi-ho!” said the lumberjack one. Together, they ran up to the device and got to work. The real Goomba King began to address the three of Shy Guy, Chak, and David.

“Things are definitely looking up!” he said. The trio nodded in agreement...

Meanwhile, Snifit was busy taking note of more Goombas he had just defeated. Only two were left.

One of them looked at the other and said, “Gosh darn it! I told you this guy was too much!”

”All right, all right. Plan B!” his cohort conceded. They ran off and disappeared back into the dungeon where they came from, but Snifit remained alert. Patiently, the 8-Bit waited. He wondered what exactly their little backup plan could possibly be and expected the worst. Just when he was beginning to narrow down the possibilities, his fears became a reality. He could hear it and he could feel it. Foom... FOOM... FOOM!...

”Oh no,” Snifit whimpered. “Please, no,” he begged. Whether he liked it or not, very bad things were coming to his town, and they were most likely going to bring about the most dreadful of misfortunes...

Foom... FOOM... FOOM!... The others could sense it, too. It gave them a little something more to listen to besides the sound of hacking, firing, and exploding that was quickly introduced to them. However, this new sound didn’t seem to depict that a devious machine was being destroyed. Chak and David found it most unnerving.

“Gentlemen,” David said, “I fear for Snifit.”

The real Goomba King turned around and looked at the child. “You’re rather mature for a little boy, aren’t you?” he commented. David grimaced.

“Don’t worry about him,” Shy Guy reassured. “He was abducted by space aliens, remember?”

”Maybe we should check up on him regardless, just in case,” Chak suggested.

”Isn’t there anything we can do?” David asked.

“All we can do,” said the Goomba of royalty, “is speed things along.” He suddenly raised his voice. “HEY, YOU TWO, YOU THINK YOU COULD HURRY IT UP?!”

”YES, SIR!” the machine’s destroyers responded. Not contradictingly, the sounds of hacking, firing, and exploding started to get more frequent. However, the sound of the enemies’ unstoppable weapon approaching started to get louder...

Snifit didn’t dare run away. He stood and watched until the things arrived. Finally, they were there, right in front of him. Those two giant, green boots that defeated him and his friends earlier were back for more. The pair of Goombas piloting them chuckled once again. Snifit started to sweat. His two adversaries had their objective ringing quite clearly in their heads. Focusing on just that and nothing else, they prepared to deliver unto the intruder the next blow. Snifit winced, expecting horrible defeat. But then...

KABOOOOOMM! The machine had finally been blown to pieces. Its fragments scattered all over the metallic room. Fortunately, no one was hurt. They all started cheering their lungs out in victory.

Being done with that, the Goomba King said, “Mission accomplished! Now there’s only one more thing to do.” He looked at Shy Guy, Chak, and David again. “You three! Go get that imposter! Goomba Grove is counting on you!”

Shy Guy folded his masculine arms and chuckled. “Wait until Snifit hears about this one,” he mused.

“No more hold-ups! We leave!” said his insect-like companion. The other two concurred with this and left the control room.

”GOOD LUCK!” the Goomba King called out...

Snifit was confused. Those boots hadn’t attacked! He opened his eyes and noticed that steam was rising from them. The Goombas that were piloting them were just as confused as he was. This soon was no longer exactly how Snifit felt. He let mischievous triumph take him, and he leaned back. The two Goombas faced the Snifit and their eyes turned wide with horror. They tried ducking, but TSEW! TSEW! Snifit spat out two more of his deadly doughnuts. FSST! FSST! They nailed the fiends exactly where the 8-Bit wanted them to. Burnt to a crisp, they got knocked out of their seats, fell backwards through the air, and plopped down onto the rock floor as a duo of black, unmoving figures. This was the result of Snifit’s little encounter with their special weapons. He performed a pirouette, and stopped himself in a position facing the fallen foes with his legs spread out and his right arm against his hip. He kissed his left hand and raised it into the air. He remained in this pose for a few seconds, and then heard some loud clapping and cheering from behind him. Startled, he turned around only to find out it was just his teammates.

”SNIFIT, SNIFIT! HE’S OUR MAN! IF HE CAN’T DO IT, NO ONE CAN!” Shy Guy crowed. Snifit was simultaneously flattered and embarrassed. The big one knew how to rub it in. Then the applause died down, and he added something else in a calmer tone. “Oh, yeah. And the Goomba King says the town’s countin’ on us. Heh heh.” Snifit frowned. “Well?” Shy Guy said. “Let’s go get ‘im!”

”YES! The imposter awaits!” Chak declared. Shortly after this pep-rally, the quartet of visitors turned back around and headed on through the cave once more. This time, they took a left...

“How did you learn to do that, Snifit?” David asked.

”Eh,” said the 8-Bit, “it’s just like spitting out pellets, but different!”

”I see... Wish I could do that...”

Their times of spending moments in a cavern and its darkness had come to a conclusion. At the end of this dank tunnel was a ladder leading somewhere. With Shy Guy in the lead, their ascension of it could at last commence...

Seven... Seven... Snifit. Seven... Seven... Cherry.

“DARN IT!” Yazzee and King Carrot said at once.

The crowd, on the other hand, went, “OOHHHHHH!” This contest had been dragging on long, but there was never a dull moment. Every time ProZD counted to three, he’d fire. Every time he’d fire, the two gamblers would try their luck. Every time they did, they were one symbol off. This had resulted in the formation of two extremely big piles of moneybags. King Carrot was catching up with Yazzee, but the Yo’ster refused to let that give him any doubts. The two of them had confidence as enormous and unstoppable as a glacier. Seeing that the competition was still not over, ProZD lifted his gun again, and counted.

“One...” Yazzee and King Carrot were both shaking in their boots. The grips they had on their levers were unwavering. They concentrated with all their might on listening for the third number and going for another yank. “Two...” It seemed like eternity was running its course. When was that guy going to finish counting?! “Th-“ SH-SHUNK! Seven... Seven... Star. KST-KCKHSQCHSHTT! The two of them had jumped the gun and got the same outcome. More coins spilled out of their machines.

“DARN IT!” they said again.

“OOHHHHHH!” the audience said again. ProZD was not amused by this. He said something to Boland and Kohler. The two of them nodded and they each walked up to a different pile of cash. Yazzee and King Carrot had horrified looks on their faces as they watched this. Both of ProZD’s attendants had just walked up to their winnings and taken a bag of it. They walked back to where the tuxedo-wearing one was. The pair of contestants were steamed.

“Hey, you, give that back!” Yazzee demanded.

“Don’t touch my money, you thieves!” King Carrot spat.

ProZD just scoffed. “You broke the rules. You got penalized. Deal with it.”

SPOWT translated this and the two robbed ones started grumbling to themselves. They had to stop, though, once their judge put his gun into the air again. For about the billionth time that day, everyone including Boland, Kohler, Carro, Boscis, SPOWT, the two gamblers, and the audience got ready for the counting. The contest continued...

A Goomba with a red crown, red and white pants, and a certain type of mustache sat in a throne before a long, red carpet. In this humungous room, the Goomba was being paid a visit by three more of his stubby servants.

“So, Your Highness,” said the one in the middle, “what do you have in store for the next play?”

“Hmm...” said the throned Goomba. “Make it about... the time I had to get my crown waxed.”

”Ooh, excellent choice, your excellence!” said the middle Goomba. “Don’t worry, Your Majesty. We’ll be sure to make it EXTRA boring!”

”Indeed,” said the servant’s master. The other two Goombas were nodding profusely.

“This’ll be great!” the middle one dragged on. He started hopping in place, alternating between one foot and the other. “We’re gonna make it the most incredibly, unbelievably, incomparably, impossibly, horrendously, terribly, horribly, boringestly boring play in the whole, entire-“

WHAM! “AAUUUUggghhh...!!!” Something beneath where the Goomba was hopping flung open and sent him flying backwards out of the room. The remaining members of the area looked at where he had flown and what caused him to do this in astonishment. It turned out he had been standing on a hatch and that a huge Shy Guy had forced the thing open.

“PHEW!” he grunted. “I thought this thing would NEVER come off! It was like someone was standing on it or something!” The three Goombas exchanged weird looks. Suddenly, a light bulb turned on. Shy Guy pointed to the one on the throne. “Hey, you’re that Goomba King imposter guy, aren’t ya?”

“SHY GUY, MOVE IT!”

”All right, all right. Hold your horses.” Shy Guy crawled out of the hatch and onto the red carpet. The two Goombas stepped back, and the three of them and their superior watched in even more confusion as three more people came into the room using this strange entrance. Shy Guy, Snifit, David, and Chak stood in a row before the felon.

“’Bout time,” Snifit grumbled. He and the others swept themselves off. Snifit looked at the fake Goomba King and pointed. “All right, buddy, listen up!”

”Your plays are boring!” David said.

“They were so boring, I fell asleep before they even started!” Chak added.

Shy Guy scratched the back of his head. “Um, I personally liked them, but-“

”WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING JUST STANDING AROUND HERE?!” the fake Goomba King suddenly shrieked. The pair of Goombas he yelled at suddenly jolted themselves attentive. “THESE PESTS DON’T BELONG HERE! DO SOMETHING!”

“Yes, s-“ KONK! Thud. Before they could carry out any orders, Shy Guy and Chak had used a leg and an arm to deal heavy blows to their brown heads. Two more enemies had been defeated. The fake Goomba King was alone.

”WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” he screamed. “INTRUDERS! INTRUDERS, INTRUDERS, INTRUDERS!!!” The impersonator jumped up and down in his royal seat, yelling madly.

“Shy Guy! Grab him!” David ordered.

Shy Guy gave the back of his head some more scratching. “Okay, but-“

“DO IT!” the boy demanded. Shy Guy didn’t waste another second. Reluctantly, he started striding towards the fake monarch. The helpless convict began to flip out.

“STAY AWAY FROM ME, BEAST!” He jumped out of his throne before Shy Guy could take another step. Shy Guy sighed and let the chase begin. Desperately, the little criminal started running all over the room, making them go in squares rather than circles. Snifit, Chak, and David kept their eyes on them, cheering on their party member all the while.

“COME ON, SHY GUY! HE’S NOT THAT HARD!”

”GO, SHY GUY! GET THAT SCOUNDREL!”

”YOU CAN DO IT, SHY GUY! COME ON!”

Both of the running ones were beginning to pant and breathe heavily. The fake Goomba King’s legs had held out for as long as they could. No backup power was left in store for them. Not seeking defeat, his pace began to die down with his tongue flailing out of his mouth. Shy Guy, on the other hand, was still in his prime. He suddenly sprang up into the air, cast a looming shadow over the fated Goomba, let his eyes widen in terror, and came crashing down.

“NOOOOOO!” the false king bellowed. FWUMPITY-WHUMPITY-WHUMP! Shy Guy slammed into the king, grabbing a tight hold of him in the process, and went tumbling across the stone floor. Shy Guy landed on his feet and turned towards his comrades, who ran up to the squirming Goomba Fake. “You won’t get away with this, fiends! You’ll be sorry you messed with the great and all powerful Goomba King!” the imposter wailed.

“Can it, you loon!” Snifit ordered. The con continued struggling in Shy Guy’s powerful grip. David got the lecture going.

“You’re a shameless, unscrupulous, dishonest crook!” the boy insulted. “Do you know what you’ve done to these people? You’ve turned them into a bunch of poor, unmotivated souls who drag their feet wherever they go! Have you no grasp of what’s right or wrong?!”

Chak went next. “You no good, selfish buffoon! How dare you take away these people’s entertainment?! It’s the only thing that keeps them alive and you’ve taken it away from them! Why would you do such a thing?!”

“I did it...” the false Goomba King grunted. “I did it... because I love power!” His four accusers widened their eyes at this remark. He started squirming less in Shy Guy’s hold. “I love power. I love wearing a crown and sitting in a throne. I love having a big fortress and keeping a million people under my thumb!” The others were making sure to hear him out. “I love being able to have complete and total control over their emotions. All it takes is a few measly plays? Pah! I could make it about grass growing, and they’d STILL watch it!” He started catching up with his breath, and he ceased his struggling in Shy Guy’s arms. After he finished panting he continued. “I even love wearing these stripy pants!” After the speech, the five people in the room kept silent for a few seconds. All that could be heard was the power-hungry Goomba’s faint breathing. Then Snifit broke the silence.

“Do you love history?” he asked the fake Goomba King.

“I loathe it,” he responded.

“Good,” Snifit said mischievously. He walked a little closer to the Goomba and everyone else had their eyes on him, cautiously. Snifit took a deep breath. A very deep breath. He held it for a few seconds, and then let a river of information spill from his mouth very quickly. “During the Shy War, the Super Mushroom League was forced to face the Shy Gang alone, which means that they did not seek the help of Naji or Razule or any of those people, although they did all have their own intentions that were all in one or way or another, more or less, related to the real crisis at hand, which was about the bringing back of a GODDESS, not a female monster, named Tondariya, who wanted to make the world a better place in the eyes of the leader of the Shy Gang, the exalted Shy King, who is now dead, along with many others as a result of a very unusual occurrence that happened near the end of this war thanks to a certain individual with a clouded background, but if there’s anything that can be truly confirmed, it’s that the Shy Gang, the Super Mushroom League, the Demonic Jesters, and all those people could be anywhere right now, doing anything, which is probably none of your business, and that is what REALLY happened, you informationally-challenged imbecile!!!” Snifit panted, but the others still stood like statues without blinking at the history-oriented 8-Bit. After catching up with his breath, Snifit got to say something else. “Wanna hear about the Demonic Jesters?”

”FREAAAKS!!! LEMME OUT OF HERE! YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF DERANGED FREAKS!” the fake Goomba King responded.

“Wellp! You heard him Shy Guy,” Chak said. “Let him out of here!”

Shy Guy had a questioning facial expression. “What?” he asked.

“Show him the way out!” Chak elaborated. “Show him that thing shaped like a rectangle that people go in and out of sometimes. That thing you can break if you send something flying through it hard enough.” David was beginning to let a sneaky grin creep onto his face. “That thing that swings open. That thing that’s made of glass. That thing that begins with a ‘W’ and ends with a-“

”’W’?” Shy Guy inquired. “I dunno, Chak. I think that thing’s called a window.”

”Shy Guy, you dolt, just chuck him out of the thing already,” Snifit said.

“I couldn’t do that!” Shy Guy said. David made his way over to one of the wide windows embedded into the wall behind the throne. He grabbed a hold of the latch in the middle, and let its two halves swing out. He gestured towards its void and the orange, darkening sky behind it. “Oh, I dunno,” Shy Guy hesitated. “He could get hurt, or something.”

”Oh, let me do it,” Chak insisted. He wrestled the squirming criminal from Shy Guy’s grasp, and walked the Goomba over to the window. Snifit had his hands by his waist in satisfaction and David was still grinning. Finally, Chak was before the window. He had the struggling, fake Goomba King in one three-fingered hand and one eye closed.

”Don’t you dare chuck me through that thing,” the enemy growled. “DON’T DO IT!!!” Chak ignored the Goomba’s words. He flexed his insect muscles, leaned back, concentrated hard, then thrust his arm forward. The former Goomba King went soaring out the window.

“NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo...!!!”

The town’s four heroes stood watching the window and what had disappeared into its orange sky in different moods. Snifit was glad a guy who was such a klutz about history had gotten what was coming to him, Chak was happy that a man who insisted on turning a town’s plays into cures for insomnia got what he deserved, and David was pleased that Goomba Grove was free from that criminal’s abusive rule. Shy Guy, however, felt a guy who made such great plays deserved better. Regardless of whatever the case was, the job had been done, and that was something they were all perfectly well aware of.

“Well, come on, guys,” Snifit said. “Time to go and top this off...” Chak and David nodded. Snifit turned around and headed down the ladder that the hatch had beneath it. The boy and the bug soon followed. They disappeared, leaving the muscular Shy Guy still standing in the throne room, basking in his thoughts. He stood there with his brutal arms hanging by his sides and not saying a word. He looked up at the ceiling, and then he slowly tilted his head downward so he could look at his brown shoes. He exhaled a deep sigh, shook his head, and started heading for the hatch as well. Once all four heroes were down there, a few moments came to pass, and something could be heard in that room. It was the sound of people cheering...

BANG BANG BANG! SHUNK SHUNK SHUNK! KST-KCK-KCKHSQCHSHTT! The storm wasn’t stopping. ProZD kept shooting, Yazzee and King Carrot kept pulling, the wheels kept spinning, the coins kept spilling, the gamblers kept cursing, and the crowd kept going wild. It was an unrelentlessly continuous cycle. Some of the people were getting restless.

“You know, Kohler,” said Boland, “I’m beginning to have my doubts. It’s like there’s no end to this!”

“You’re probably right,” said the red-shelled one. “I mean, it’s not like they’re gonna stop any time soon.”

”Hm,” Boland grunted. “I’ll give them three hours.”

”I’ll give them four!”

Elsewhere, a couple of carrots had things of their own to discuss. “Hey, Boscis,” said Carro, “what do you think King Boo and the Eight Spookalings are up to?”

”I have no idea, Carro. They’re probably somewhere out there, sucking the souls out of a few poor saps.” Carro turned his head away and made it nod in response. Boscis continued talking. “I hope things are going well for them,” he said. “It could mean big trouble if they don’t get those souls...”

”Hmm...”

“One... Two... Three!” BANG! SHUNK! Seven... Seven... Turnip. Seven... Seven... Snifit.

“Jaggity-glabbit!” Yazzee fumed.

“Confound it all!” King Carrot growled. KCKHSQCHSHTT! The coins spilled, the crowd vocalized its awe, and ProZD pulled his gun out again.

“One...”

I’ll make Yo’ster Isle proud, Yazzee thought. It’ll be known as the home of the greatest gambler who ever lived...

“Two...”

I’ve got a title to maintain, King Carrot told himself. I’m gonna beat this guy, even if it kills me!

“THREE!” BANG! SHUNK! And the evening went on like that...

DONG! DONG! DONG! DONG! The bell was ringing again. Even though it was getting dark out, parents and grandparents alike started ceasing their activities to leave their homes and wander over to the big place, dragging the kids along as well, of course. In time, like earlier that day, a whole crowd was before the stage. This time, it was beneath a fading, purple sky.

“What’s going on? Didn’t we already see a show today?”

”Whenever the bell rings, we come. That’s the rule.”

”I hope it won’t be something boring again...”

”Sshh!”

The bell stopped ringing, the curtains started being pulled back, and the people put an end to their mumbling. “Yyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...” they all groaned. A Goomba in a red tuxedo to replace the black one of before walked onto the stage. He stood in front of the audience as calmly as possible. He observed the Goombas’ bored facial expressions, knowing exactly how they felt. Then he got the introduction going. He sucked in some air, and got it started.

“LAAAAAADIIIIEES AND GENTLEMEEEENN!” he bellowed enthusiastically. Suddenly, all eyes in the crowd went wide open in pure disbelief. They started chattering loudly amongst themselves at this turn of events. The Goomba smirked satisfiedly at their reaction and continued. “Are you ready for COMEDY?!”

”Y-yes?” a few of the people in the crowd said back.

The Goomba on-stage tried again. “Are you ready for a horde of unforgettable jokes that’ll knock your socks off?!”

”YES?!” the crowd said back. This time, their response was spoken by a few more Goombas and with more energy.

”Are you ready for awesomely, spectacularly, wonderfully, outrageously, humorous, gut-busting, butt-gusting FUNNINESS?!”

“YYEEEEEESSS!!!” the crowd screamed, not being able to take it anymore. Feeling dozens of weights being lifted from their backs, they finally freed themselves and started hopping up and down in excitement.

“Then what are we waiting for?! Let’s get this party started!!!” The crowd cheered at the red man’s speech. Seeing that his work was done, he took a bow, turned to one side, and remained in that position for a few seconds. As time went on, the crowd’s craziness started to slowly die down. What was that guy doing? Why was he just standing there? Was the show going to start? Had it already begun? Was it just gonna be him standing there? Had they been duped? Had funny shows not returned with a vengeance? All these questions were answered as soon as their voices had dimmed down completely, leaving the entire town in utter silence. The sky had become a deeper shade of purple, allowing the stars to crawl into view, and the crickets began their chirping. Staring forward, remaining still as rock, the Goomba stood. The crowd continued wondering. Finally, he tilted his head back, and leapt high up into the air. He did a backflip, landed behind where he stood earlier, leapt again, did another backflip, landed again, and then did three backflips in the middle of a particularly high jump. He landed on a place near the edge of the stage, turned, and bowed. The audience went ballistic again, realizing what kind of entertainment the night had in store for them. Walking off, the stage was empty again. Everyone got silent once more waiting for the show to start. Then at last, it officially began, and they could all commence laughing once again.

Two Goombas walked onto the stage. One was green and the other was dressed like a lumberjack.

“Pretty nice planet you got here, Mr. Zoontok,” said the lumberjack, “but where are all the trees?!”

”We ate them all,” said the Goomba playing Mr. Zoontok.

“What?! Then what am I supposed to do with this axe?!” the lumberjack objected, pulling out that very weapon.

”Become an axe-murderer?” Zoontok suggested.

“That’s a good idea, Mr. Zoontok! I could kill people with this thing... Starting with you!” The lumberjack waved the axe around above his head, menacingly.

”I dare say, Mr. Timber, I don’t think that a very good idea,” Zoontok objected.

“WHAT?! Why not? Give me one good reason...” Mr. Timber lowered his axe and gave the interplanetary individual a weird look.

”Well, for starters, I-“

“COME ON, ZOONTOK, I DON’T GOT ALL DAY!!!” Timber interrupted, waving the axe again.

“I have a wife and kid,” said Zoontok.

“YOU DO?! Show me!” Timber demanded.

“Very well then. Follow me.” The two Goombas started walking towards the other side of the stage. Just before they could reach the end of it, the Goomba in the lab coat leapt out from behind the drawn curtains and landed right in front of them.

”Oh! Uncle Timber! Thank goodness you’re here. You see, I’ve got a small problem-“

”Dr. Goober-poof, Mr. Timber. He’s very pleased to meet you,” said Zoontok. Dr. Goober-poof looked at Mr. Timber up and down wide-eyed, then at the audience. He stuck out his tongue and shook his head.

“CAN I KILL HIM?!” the lumberjack spazzed. He raised his axe like a lunatic again.

“I’m afraid not, Mr. Timber. He’s family.”

”Family, huh? Is he your nephew?”

“No, he’s my wife and kid,” Zoontok corrected. Timber looked shocked.

“He’s BOTH?!” the lumberjack freaked out.

”Indeed. He can be several both things at once. For instance, right now, he’s angry and joyful simultaneously.” The green Goomba gestured towards Dr. Goober-poof, who started saying something very strange.

“Oh, Uncle Timber, this lab coat is absolutely ravishing!” the joyful doctor said while spinning on one foot. Then he stopped. “But it’s got this milk stain on it! It’ll never come out!” he said, angrily.

“Is that the small problem?” asked Zoontok. Goober-poof shook his head.

”No, that’s the huge problem. The SMALL problem is much bigger!” he corrected.

“Well, out with it then,” Zoontok asked.

”CAN I KILL HIM NOW?!”

”NO!!!” Zoontok yelled. “The small problem, please?”

“Yes,” said Dr. Goober-poof. “I was in my room, mixing the DNA of a weasel and Elvis Peasley-“

”Elvis Peasley?”

”NOW?!”

”NO!”

Goober-poof continued. “When all of a sudden there was this explosion and now I’ve created a monster that says it wants to get all people named Uncle!”

“YOUR FIRST NAME IS UNCLE?!”

”YES!!!”

“We have to get you out of here, Uncle Timber,” said Dr. Goober-poof, “before what’s here gets you!”

”Indeed. To the Sloth Mobile!” Zoontok bellowed. The three of them were about to run off to the other side of the stage, but a new voice stopped them.

”Hey, baby, where ya goin’?”

“Oh, my goodness! He’s here!” Dr. Goober-poof flipped. That was when the Clumph ran onto the stage, club in hand, but he did so with a pair of sunglasses.

He stopped before the trio and said, “You got that right, honey.” The audience cheered for the Clumph. In response, the club-wielder spun around, stopped, faced the audience, knelt down, and pointed with his teeth shining. “Thankyouverymuch,” he uttered. The crowd went crazy again. Then the Clumph stopped milking them and faced the trio again. “All right, Uncle, baby, you asked for it. A-huh-huh.” The Clumph raised his club into the air menacingly.

“HEY! YOU SHTOLE MY SHTICK! I mean, you shtoled my stick! I mean you sticked my mole! I mean, you stuck my mole up my-“

“SHUT UP, TIMBER!” Zoontok yelled. He faced the Clumph and started begging. “Oh, please-oh-please-oh-PLEASE don’t kill me! I have a wife and kid!”

“Sorry, babe. A rule’s a rule. Oh, yeah.” The Clumph twirled his weapon above his head a little more. Mr. Timber winced, expecting the end. Then at last, the Clumph struck! WHACK! He belted himself in the forehead, shattering his sunglasses, developed a silly look on his face, and fell backwards. He crashed onto the floor and the other three actors looked at the fallen monster in amazement. They stared for a while longer, and then the Clumph lifted up his head. “Don’t cry for me,” he said, “I’m all clubbed up. Mm-hm-hm.” He plopped back down onto the floor. “Oh-oh. Yeah, yeah.”

The three Goombas looked at each other with much befuddlement on their minds. “Well, I’ll be bamboozled,” said the lumberjack.

”Ding-dong. The witch is dead,” said Dr. Goober-poof.

“This calls for a celebration!” Mr. Zoontok announced. “We shall all go out for some tree-flavored ice cream!”

”Prodigious!” Dr. Goober-poof said.

”Delicious! I’ll-“ Mr. Timber stopped himself. “Wait a minute. I thought you said you ate all the trees!!!”

“Oh,” Zoontok said sheepishly. “I guess I lied.”

Timber’s eyes burst wide open in fury. He raised his axe and let out his battle cry. “RAAWWWGGGHHH!!!” he screamed.

“AAAUUUUGGGHHH!” Zoontok wailed.

”NO, TIMBEEERRRR!!!” Dr. Goober-poof voiced. Then the crazed lumberjack started chasing down the two family members until all three of them were offstage, leaving the Clumph’s downed body behind.

That was when the audience could hear the disembodied voice of a far more interesting narrator. “And that, kiddies, is why you must never spend the night on another planet. The End!”

Every contributing member of the audience hopped up and down in pure excitement and pleasure. The show was a hit. The Clumph got back onto his feet and the other three actors ran back onto the stage so the four of them could line up and take a bow. The crowd cheered even harder. The talented quartet took a few more bows, letting the audience do their thing. Then finally, the Goomba King, the REAL Goomba King, walked onto the stage. He stood before the four actors and faced the audience. They all quieted down. Seeing that this was his cue, the royal Goomba took it from there.

”Goomba Grove!” he said. “It is great to be back.” This sentence was what got the audience to start mumbling amongst themselves in a confused manner. “You are not going to believe what I am about to tell you,” he continued, “but, for a while, I was not the one ruling this town.” The people of Goomba Grove started muttering even louder. “I was impersonated! Framed! Thrown into my own dungeon!” The audience’s murmurings grew even louder. “But now...” the real king stated. The audience piped down once again. “I’m back. And it’s all thanks to these four brave individuals!”

The audience erupted into another rite of cheering. Mr. Zoontok, Mr. Timber, Dr. Goober-poof, and the Clumph all took a bow.

“Ah, ah, ah! Not THOSE four people,” the Goomba King corrected. The audience started acting confused again. The four actors stepped aside to let four more people walk onstage: Shy Guy, Snifit, Chak, and David. “THOSE four people!”

The audience went, “Oohhhhh!” Then they went, “YAAAYYYYYYY!!!” The town’s four new heroes each were doing something different. Chak was waving with two hands, David waved with only one, Shy Guy was flexing his muscles, and Snifit had his hands folded modestly behind his back. Then the exciting narrator started talking again.

”That’s right, folks! Goomba Grove is in the debt of these four brave people! Presenting: Big Guy!”

The people started cheering for the super muscular Shy Guy. “Woah. Big Guy?!” he said to himself. “Hmm...”

”Laser Snifit!” the narrator announced. The crowd cheered for him, too.

”Laser Snifit?” he said. “What in the name of...”

“Shogun!” The audience gave it up for the bug man.

“Shogun...” he mused. “That’s strange...”

”And Davey!” The large gathering of Goombas let their voices ring out for the little boy. He didn’t look pleased.

”Davey?!” he fumed. “Why? Why?!”

“And now for the award ceremony!” the narrator boomed. Everyone went ballistic over that, too.

“Award ceremony?” the renamed Snifit mumbled. The Clumph walked up to the one the narrator referred to as Big Guy.

“Big Guy,” he said, club in hand, “for busting down everything that got in our way and for being such a great inspiration for us all, I’d like to give you this club.” The Clumph handed over the massive object. The overgrown 8-Bit took it in an enthused mood. The audience vocally expressed its happiness as well.

”Woah,” he said, swinging the club at the air. “Thanks a bunch!”

Next, it was time for the one called Laser Snifit to get his gift. Dr. Goober-poof approached him. “Laser Snifit,” he said, taking off his lab coat, “for fending off all the fiendish minions of the one who framed our king, I’d like you to have this lab coat.” The gray laser-shooter took it from the Goomba with a strange look on his face.

”Um, thanks,” he said. He slipped the garment on. The audience cheered for him again.

The one called Shogun was going next. He was approached by Mr. Timber. “Courageous, Mr. Shogun,” said the lumberjack. “For getting rid of the fake Goomba King once and for all, I’d like you to have this axe.” The bug-like person received a shiny, new weapon in placement of the one that had shattered. It was admired.

”Much obliged, friend!” said the axe’s new wielder. The crowd’s cheering continued. Last but not least, it was the child’s turn. He had the intergalactic Mr. Zoontok walk up to him.

”Davey, my boy,” he said. The fourth and final awarded one frowned. “For recognizing our plight and gallantly shooting those who opposed you in your struggle for our town, I’d like you to have this laser pistol.” The boy’s frown vanished and became replaced by a wide-eyed face. He took it gratefully and with much disbelief.

”Thank you,” said the former-man. “Thank you, sir.”

”No problem, son,” Mr. Timber responded. The audience cheered even more. The narrator got to talking again.

”And that, folks, is a wrap!” he said. “Just remember: Always Reduce, Reuse, and Floss!” The crowd went wild one last time. Some time after that, the narrator topped it off. “Thank you... and good night!” The curtain closed up on the stage, covering all nine of the people that were up there. Feeling in significantly higher spirits, the audience walked away happy.

“Daddy, dat pway was fuuuunnyyyy!”

”I know, Junior, I know...”

Behind the curtains, a certain ninesome was busy discussing some unfinished business. “So, you’re leaving?” the Goomba King said.

“Yup! The night is young and the road’s calling my name. It’s saying, Big Guy! Big Guy! Come to me! You’ve got a journey to continue!” The huge man shrugged his shoulders. “It’s just one of those things.”

”I understand,” said the Goomba King. “I would just like to thank you for saving our town one last time, and wish you good luck on your journey.”

The muscleman nodded and gave a thumbs-up to the monarch. His next move was to look at the four actors. “Well, we’ll be seeing you,” he said. “And thanks for the gifts! They rock!”

“Um, yeah. They really do,” said the lab coat-wearing Snifit.

The actors all nodded and waved some. “Y’all come back now, y’hear?” said the Clumph in another completely different voice.

The traveling quartet’s huge leader looked at the Clumph disbelievingly. “Creepy,” he said. Then he turned around while his other teammates were busy waving back. “Anyways... Bye now!” The five people representing Goomba Grove returned some farewells, and the enormous 8-Bit’s three party members turned around as well so they could follow their leader off the stage. Soon, the popsicle-stand had been blown, and the journeying foursome was back beneath the starlit sky.

”Well, Laser Snifit, Shogun, Davey,” said the bodybuilder, “gotta move on...” Two of the people he said this to nodded, but the other one shook his head in disgust at his new name. After walking down more roads and between more houses, Goomba Grove was behind them, and more trees awaited them...

An unseen person’s voice called me Davey, and a space alien gave me a laser pistol... I hope no real space aliens are out there...

Elsewhere, a certain Goomba could hear children and adults alike laughing, music being played, and bottles of champagne being popped. Goomba Grove had definitely been restored to its original luster...

”Goooodiieeeee...” he moaned. “Goooomba Groooove is back to noooormallll...”

Yoshi and Glishy found themselves standing between some exotic jungle trees and in the presence of a stream of lava. This boiling hot, liquid fire was oozing its way out of a gigantic volcano. Yoshi looked at it, impressed.

”This is Mt. Lavalava,” Glishy explained. “No one is allowed to go in there. It’s waaay too dangerous.”

Yoshi nodded. He had learned all kinds of different words and phrases thanks to this new interpreter. As he stared some more at that flowing mass of flaming gunk, he put his thoughts into words inside his head.

Once I learn how to, Yoshi mentally spoke, I’m going to ask if there’s a way off this island...

“You said they were too broken to fight back. You said there couldn’t possibly be a rebellion. You said we were overreacting by making those new weapons!”

The Goomba that had impersonated that town’s true ruler was lying on the ground, covered in bruises, in the middle of the woods, being lectured by a gang of Goombas in stupid costumes, the leader of which was the one in a torn-up black tuxedo.

“Well, we’ve had it!” said the fed-up Goomba. “From now on, we’re not gonna be listening to you. We’re gonna go out there and get some REAL jobs!” The Goombas gave one last look at the false monarch, turned around in anger, and trudged off. Now he was alone in the middle of nowhere, all covered in marks he’d feel in the morning. This unlawful man had gotten the limelight and everything else stripped from him. His followers were gone, his position was gone... Everything. All this dawned on him, mercilessly. All this including the fact that not a single soul was nearby willing to give him a shred of sympathy... almost.

“Humpty Dumpty conquered the town. Humpty Dumpty was brought down! All of his horses, all of his men, refused to listen to him again. Tragedy at its finest...”

The imposter Goomba King picked his head up off the ground and saw two black figures standing behind him. One of them had a unibrow, and the other one just looked angry.

“Who are...” the fake king tried to say, but he was too beaten to finish. The one with the unibrow shuffled up to the Goomba.

“The name’s Razule. Not MR. Razule, not MASTER Razule, just Razule, even though, technically, I’m your new master!”

”WHAT?!” the impersonater spat. “What are you talking about?! Nobody’s my master!”

”That’s what he said.” Razule gestured to the person behind him. He was scowling.

”Razule is insane,” he said, “but he’s the only person that will help me.”

“That’s Ren for ya!” Razule giggled. “Well now, friend, go on. Who are you supposed to be?”

”I used to be the Goomba King,” the downed one grumbled, “but now I’m just a Goomba Prince.”

”Okay, Princy!” Razule exclaimed. He shuffled even closer to the Goomba and helped him back on his feet. Once he was sure the beat-up one could stand on his own, the insane one stepped back to look at the two former tyrants. “The three of us?” he said. “We’re three of a kind. We all used to have it all. Fame. Fortune. Chocolate-covered vanities!”

”What?!” said the impersonater.

”He talks like this all the time. Better get used to it,” Ren advised.

”But it all got taken away from us. Teddy bears. Teddy bears with mallets and unfriendly thinking caps! They came for us. They wanted to get us. They were jealous. They couldn’t handle us being the shining stars on their fluorescent ponies. No, they couldn’t, no, they couldn’t. So they knocked us down and made us eat dirt!” Razule explained. Even though his words sounded like nonsense, the one he called Princy seemed to understand what he was saying. “It isn’t fair,” he continued. “IT ISN’T FAIR! All those pens... All those whoopee-cushions... Gone. Down the drain. Bye-bye!” Razule acted like he was crying. He sniffled a little, but only got weird looks in return, especially from the Goomba. Then the Raven-like creature brightened up. “No more,” he declared. “NO MORE!!! We must revolt against these teddy bears. We must strike back! We must take animal balloons, and whack them against their gravy boats! We must WIN THE TIE-DYE CUP! Only then will we get the mustard we deserve...”

The Goomba was beginning to catch on. He looked at the strange creature quizzically and made a question escape his lips. “And... how are we to obtain this mustard?”

Razule gave the questioning one a very serious look. He slowly shuffled up to him until he was extremely close. This made the Goomba very uncomfortable. Without blinking, Razule answered. “One man, one woman,” said the creature. “A block-breaker and a block-maker. A mustache and a maiden. A wretch and a witch.” Razule finished listing. “They have it. The key! They have it!” Razule finally stepped away from the Goomba and allowed him some breathing space. “We must get this key... AND HAVE OUR REVENGE!” The Goomba was very confused by this. Razule suddenly started shuffling off very quickly, leaving Ren and the Goomba Prince behind. “COME, MY BRETHREN! THE BATTLE AWAITS!” Razule disappeared. Ren soon began to follow. He stopped to look at their new enlistment.

”Believe it or not, he knows what he’s talking about,” Ren said. The new guy was still skeptical. “Come on.” Ren started running after Razule again. The Goomba was left behind. He stood watching these two black creatures scurry off into the woods. He looked behind himself where his old followers had marched off to. This was also where Goomba Grove was. Gradually, he began to accept that that wasn’t his place anymore and that he had to move on. It probably wasn’t even his to begin with. Thinking that insane people willing to help him might turn out better than the sane people that left him had, he shook his head, and started hobbling after this strange, new duo. Exactly what these three were up to was anyone’s guess...

Children in the streets were chasing after fireflies. Some of their parents were calling them inside. This, Xoshi noticed as he walked with White Rose up to a gate composed of two big blue rectangles with a large, yellow star in the center. The two of them stopped. White Rose addressed the brown Yo’ster.

“Beyond is the grand castle,” he said. “Beyond that is Shooting Star Summit. Once we get there, you promise all will be revealed?”

Xoshi thought hard. Not wanting to hesitate too much, he finally responded. “Promise,” he said.

“All right, then,” said the knight. He faced the doors again. “Let’s get moving...” He pushed his way in, and Xoshi followed. Soon, they were in the presence of the castle of the Mushroom Kingdom. It was glorious, colossal, fanciful, and looked as though it came straight from a fairytale. Guarding its front doors were two Toads in uniform with spears. Xoshi took this in as the two of him and his companion walked past the gigantic building and around a flowing fountain of water. At some point, they came across another spear-wielding Toad and stopped.

“Going to Shooting Star Summit?” he asked.

”Yes,” White Rose replied.

”Watch yourself. They say a creature called the Plantern Ghost is on the loose. I’d be cautious if I were you.”

”Thank you, sir,” White Rose said. The comments were over and the duo could return to their journey.

They continued walking down a very peculiar road. As the huge castle drifted further behind them, more and more stars continued to fade into the sky. Some of them were even shooting. He looked at the ground and noticed that the ground was getting more purple-colored. In the distance, he could see an enormous hill. An enormous hill covered in dazzling sparkles.

This is it, Xoshi thought to himself. We finally made it... Ugh... I’ve got butterflies...

Totally unsure of what exactly was next on their agenda, Xoshi gathered his wits and walked on. It was only a matter of time until all of this came together...

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