Yoshi's Island 2: Xoshi's Story

Yoshi's Island 2: Xoshi's Story

Chapter 13

Xoshi had unsightly bruises all over him. He was lying facedown upon tiny little crystals of an immense temperature with his head pointed to one side. In the blackness, he could feel this gritty substance burning beneath him and a huge ray glaring down at him, relentlessly. The heat was unpleasant to him, he was aware of this, yet he was too knocked-out to give a care. It was like he was awake, and yet he wasn't, simultaneously. In addition to this, he could hear murmuring in the background. These voices... He knew they were coming from people, but he didn't know who or what they were saying. Was it anything important? Should he get up and find out? Maybe he should just remain lying there...

"Hey," he suddenly heard. Xoshi didn't respond. "Hey!" the voice said again. Come to think of it, he was also feeling a rubbing sensation against his right shoulder. It was coming from something covered in cloth, probably. He wasn't too sure. "HEY!" Again, the voice spoke to him. Was it telling him to get up?

Xoshi...

...

Wake up, Xoshi...

I don't wanna...

Wake up!

"Wake up!" Two voices were passing through the Yo'ster's head. Both of them were telling him to-

-"Wake up," Xoshi. He's telling you to wake up.

All right, all right! Sheesh... Finally, Xoshi started to pry his eyelids open. The minute he did so, everything went from being black to being yellow. That, and the rubbing sensation had halted. He blinked a few times to get his eyes to focus, but things still didn't seem to quite make any sense. As he started twitching his fingers a little, he began trying to get the wheels in his head turning so the world could flip itself right-side-up again.

"Are you all right?" he heard the voice say again.

He just asked you if you're all right, Xoshi, Beel said.

Okay, Xoshi replied, uninterestedly. He slid his hands in front of him, feeling the burning stuff slide with them, placed them down, and pushed himself upward, arching his back in the process. His eyes clenched shut, but were open again and blinking soon enough.

"I say, are you all right?" again, the voice sounded. It was coming from where his shoulder was being rubbed earlier.

Say, "Yes, I am."

Xoshi was on his knees. Sure, his back was upright, but his head was still hung, and he wasn't exactly standing at that point. Say what?! he said in response. Those last few words he barely recognized.

"Yes... I... Am..." Say it.

Okay... At last, Xoshi could start making sense of things. He was in a town with odd-looking, almost block-like structures. The people that were wandering about were all rather short ones with turbans and scarves decorating their heads. The ground was of blazing sand and there was not a single cloud in the sky to prevent the sun from shining down mercilessly on the place. The person that was showing concern for his safety was to his right, as suspected. He was dressed in all white. His fluffy pants matched his odd, long-sleeved tunic, which had some kind of pointy thing going around his shoulders, making them look even sharper. On his hands, he wore a pair of black gloves, which matched the boots his pants were tucked into. The thin line between his pants and his sheet-like shirt was covered by a sash going around his waist, which was also black. Unlike the other people of the town, he was taller, but like them, his head was nearly completely covered. The white turban was less exaggerated and had a nice, red jewel on the front. From the bridge of his nose down, his face was covered by another white cloth. His only visible facial features were a pair of dark brown eyes beneath two thick black eyebrows. All that, and he had a curvy sword sheathed by his right hip, as well. This all made him resemble some kind of holy ninja, especially since the sun seemed to be doing a pretty good job of bouncing rays off of his outfit, providing it with kind of a glowing feel. It was a little painful to look at. Xoshi tried the phrase Beel had taught him. "Yesss..." he said, awkwardly. "I... Am..."

The man looked at him. "Can you stand?" he asked.

He just asked you if you could stand, said Beel.

I can do that, said Xoshi.

Good. Now nod, and stand up.

Xoshi did just that. He nodded to the man, then stood up. For some reason, he felt dizzy. He sent a hand to his forehead, and his feet stumbled about, trying not to fall.

"Do you need some help?" the man asked.

Beel translated his words again. Say, "Yes," again. I know this man.

You do?! Xoshi blurted in his head.

Yes, I do. Now say, "Yes."

Xoshi hesitated a bit. He looked at the man, and once again said, "Yes."

The man nodded back. He asked, "Do you need a place to rest?"

Beel translated. Say, "Yes," he instructed.

Xoshi hesitated. "Yes," he said.

"All right," said the man in white. "Come with me." He made a gesture with his hand towards him. Beel translated this, told him what to do, and he obeyed. The two headed off through this little town together...

The landscape seemed to come in stripes of varying colors in the eyes of Dr. Kamenstein. He was flying way up in the bright, morning sky in his very own Sky-Pop, keeping an eye out for the place he had in mind. As soon as he saw a cluster of small figures over there, he put thoughts of witches and green glop aside and put his new observations into words.

"Ah! At last, it comes," he said. "Gana Village, here comes the Madscikoopa..."

He swooped down lower and continued his journey...

The day began like any other.
My little daughter and her brother
Were eating breakfast with the ones who gave them life.
Eventually, I finished eating.
I then stood up to start my fleeting.
I bid farewell to my children and my wife.

With my children and the misses,
We then exchanged our usual kisses.
I was on my way, walking out the corridor.
What I noticed while ambling,
Was the children playing and women rambling.
'Twas just another day walking to the store.

At last, I arrived before my shop.
But I couldn't enter. I had to stop.
Something was sounding for all to hear.
In the direction over there,
In the middle of the village square,
Was a group of musicians, playing something rather queer.

To this day, my mind does fail
To remind me what did prevail
In taking me away from that trading post of mine.
Perhaps it was that song of theirs.
When I heard it, I had no cares.
I had to walk to the source of it, so divine.

Towards that place, more did advance.
The whole town was in a trance.
We had to hear this company play.
On closer inspection, I could see
This band was so dubiously
Composed of harlequins of vast array.

Five of them were in this choir,
All of them with strange attire.
Their color schemes were all quite wild.
The guitarist's body was like a ball.
The keyboardist's had spikes that covered all.
The singer wore a mask that smiled.

Another wore a pointy hat.
He had a horn in addition to that,
But none of them were anything compared to their giant.
This giant was half blue, half red.
It seemed the drums were what he lead.
He stood behind the rest, looking so defiant.

In due time, they had a crowd
Listening to them play aloud
A song about the downside of death.
This song spoke of a frightful abode
Where years of torment never slowed
And not a single soul could draw a single breath.

People, they could not stop screaming.
They'd be awake, but always dreaming
Of a way to get out of that place alive.
A place of always. A place of never.
A place of flames to burn forever.
This was the ballad of the five.

Although, their song was quite alarming,
Still, we found them rather charming.
We stayed there and we listened to them play.
We listened to the Jester singing,
We listened to their instruments ringing,
Until disaster came and made us run away.

Before the song could reach its end,
A mob had come from around the bend.
Chainabel Lee's chomps had gone on a rampage.
Chainabel Lee was considered a witch.
Raising these monsters she said was her niche.
Something had unleashed their bottled rage.

Men and women, young and old,
Were trying to escape what came to unfold.
But no savior seemed to be within our grasp.
As I ran with the rest of them,
Seeing no easing in the mayhem,
Something worse had come and made me gasp.

Not only were there Chomps about,
But also there were these creatures out.
Creatures with masks and wings and robes and spears.
Then they did something unexpected:
They started making those Chomps corrected!
At first they seemed to be the smallest of my fears.

At the Chomps, they started firing
These nets composed of a sort of wiring
Which ensnared the beasts and sent them to the ground.
Foolishly, I did not know
That we, the people, were the next to go.
Pretty soon, they, too, were becoming bound.

Instinctively, I headed back.
There was someone I didn't want them to attack.
Thoughts of my family were clouding up my mind.
Unfortunately, I didn't make it.
The net around me. I couldn't break it!
Soon, I, too, was taken by their kind.

Then the darkness surrounded me.
It ate me alive, so mercilessly.
Nothing could be seen, heard, or even dreamed.
For a period of time, this went on.
It haunted me, and then it was gone.
I was awoken by some unforgiving demon, it seemed.

A little jab, and I awoke.
This was what the jabber spoke:
"All right, you lazy maggot, get to work!"
I found myself inside a cell.
The touch was horrid, as was the smell.
The jabber was the horn-player with a dirk.

"Come on, you bonehead, let's move it!
You'll love this job, and I'll prove it!
You're comin' with me," quoth the player.
He took me to the lavatories.
The ones of only ghost stories.
I had to scrub it, layer by layer.

After short, I did not fail
To find I was in the local jail.
My world had been turned upside-down.
From this place, there was no escaping.
I was doomed to bowing and scraping.
Not even the ones I was with could rid me of my frown.

For days on end, we have been cleaning,
Washing, brushing, and even preening
For the ones that played such a melody to us.
There are no ups, there are only downs.
We were fools to trust these clowns.
They are beings so foul and incongruous.

There came a time, I had a talk
With the one who was responsible for the flock
Of the Chomps that attacked us on that fateful day.
Chainabel Lee said two thieves were there
Giving her house a search and her Chomps a scare.
This was said, and then we were sent away.

Today, I massaged the large one's feet.
He said this when the task was complete:
"All right, you slaves, now out of this room."
And so we were poked out by those things with the spears.
We had to leave him with his peers.
Our thoughts consisted of doom and gloom.

Again, in my cell, I have come to ponder
That thing from which my mind won't wander:
What became of my children and my wife?
Perhaps they escaped without a flaw.
Perhaps they did not need my ravenclaw.
Perhaps they no longer need to worry of life.

Until these questions turn to answers,
I can only hope these clowns and lancers
Will soon be forced to forever leave our den.
With work and toil not ever slowing,
Only hope can keep me going.
I just want things to return to normal again...

Once their slaves were gone, the evil clowns finally got to get their little meeting started. They decided to hold it in that room of theirs with the long table and the chairs. The attendance that day was quite abundant. Thirteen people were present, including Jester, Night Guy, Ba-doyng, Katunk, Har-Harlequin, Taffy Kong, two other people, a quartet of Beezos, and the man himself, Rudy. All of them were seated, except for the four Beezos that merely hovered behind this unusual duo. Their gigantic leader got the chair at the end of the table.

Rudy, the clown, was a rather ugly man who stood well over ten feet tall. His face, like the rest of his body, was flabby, and had nothing to cover it up, unfortunately. The big, fat lips, bulbous nose, and warts of his face were out in the open for all to see. He wore a strange, frilly hat on his head and a suit that was half red, half blue covering his massive body. Each side of it was decorated with spots that were shaped like skulls. What was also quite peculiar about this person was that he had no arms or legs. His hands and his feet just seemed to float where they would be if he had any. His hands donned a pair of yellow gloves with spikes coming out of the knuckles. His feet adorned a pair of shoes that curled up at the tips with balls of fuzz sticking out of them. He looked around at the other members of his team.

Jester was a medium-sized man whose face, unlike Rudy's, was hiding behind an oddly-shaped mask. Its eyes and mouth made it look as though he were laughing. The rest of his head was covered by something red that came out in two different appendages where a pair of jingle bells could hang and rattle. He wore a green, frilly thing around his neck that had yellow balls surrounding it. His body was wearing black pajamas, and his hands were wearing abnormally large, white gloves. His shoes were no less comical, complete with their green and yellow color combination. He sat patiently, flipping through a deck of cards.

Night Guy wore a long, pointy hat that kind of had a droop to it. It matched the rest of his ridiculous outfit as it was purple with yellow stars all over it. He wore something similar around his neck to what Jester had, except it was all fluffy and white. His gloves were relatively the same, but the oversized shoes were simply brown. He wore a big, gray belt around his waist, and some type of horn hanging from a necklace. His face was round and white, had wide, red lips, and bright eyes with red marks beside them. He was busy fidgeting with a knife.

Ba-doyng was a big, round creature standing on two feet that were long and red, just like his nose. His cheeks were rosy, and his eyes were shiny. He wore an incredibly long pair of pants that went all the way up to his nose. It was striped blue and white.

Katunk was a vaguely similar creature. He had no clothes on, just spikes covering his metallic body. His feet weren't as long, but they were still red, just like his shnoz. His face bore a mischievous grin and a wide pair of eyes.

The tall Har-Harlequin sat at the table practicing her freaky face with her mouth agape, baring its frightful fangs. Her head was green and bean-shaped. Her nose was little more than a pair of nostril slits lying flat against her face. Her eyes were wide, slanted, and pink. She wore a goofy hat atop her cranium that wasn't too far off from resembling what Jester had. Two bells dangled from two long extensions of the garment. One half was pink, and the other was purple. Both had spots all over them. Her neck had the same garment as Night Guy, but was light purple. Her sleeves were fluffy and, like her billowing dress, they complemented the colors of her headgear. Her sleeves were connected to her dress by these long sheets that looked like bat wings whenever she spread her arms.

Taffy Kong was this orangutan in a polka-dotted vest that was half yellow, half white. He had a red, rubber clown nose, a pointy hat, and yet another one of those strange garments for his neck. He was busy helping himself to a banana.

This pair that was also in the room at the time consisted of two 8-Bits. One of them was a red Shy Guy with a blue star-shaped thing rimmed with gold surrounding that area between his stubby shoulders and his white mask. Both his hood and his curly, purple shoes were tipped with balls of fuzz. Half of his body below the star was purple, and the other, red. A big, white ball of fuzz centered it. The one next to him was a Snifit wearing some pretty similar clothes. It seemed the only difference was his gas mask-like face.

Hovering behind them were four Beezos also dressed like the other two. All four of them had their spears shouldered as though waiting for their next command.

At last, Rudy spoke up. "All right, boys, let's start this meeting," he said in that high-pitched, scratchy voice of his. "It's been three days since we made this town our own, but still we have had no luck in finding what we seek."

"Yes, but at least we got tons of money," said the orangutan in his overtly deep voice. He put his banana down, pulled out a big bag of coins, and rattled it with a grin.

"Plus: We've got a comfy new home and a million servants!" said the 8-Bit with the white mask. His voice was raspy. SMACK! The two of him and his cohort gave each other a high-five.

"Yes, Groove Guy and Groovum, the two of you and your Beezos were very successful in taking care of those Chomps. We applaud you for that." The rest of the people in the room (not including the Beezos) gave the duo a round of applause.

"Ah, we were just correcting a few mistakes, is all," said the one named Groovum in an ugly, pinched voice.

The clapping came to a stop, and Rudy started talking again. "Yes, making you two a part of the crew I feel was the best thing I've ever done. Now we really are Rudy and the Eight Goofalings." The others mumbled and nodded in agreement. Rudy cleared his throat. "However, we still need that music box. The money's no good unless we have that music box."

Taffy Kong grunted, put away his bag of loot, and got back to work on his banana.

"At this rate, we'll never get to revive our mistress," Jester moped in his handsome voice.

"That Chainabel Lee would make a good mistress. Heh heh," Taffy chuckled.

Har-Harlequin cocked an eyebrow at him. "This is like that war against the Shy Gang all over again. What are we going to do now?" she said in her ugly voice.

Groove Guy and Groovum were muttering things to each other as were Ba-doyng and Katunk. Night Guy just continued fidgeting. Rudy got their attention again. "Well, everyone, enticing a whole town with our music and getting for ourselves a nice, new hideout in the process was great and all, but Har-Harlequin has a point. We need to find out what to do next."

The others made humming sounds and various thinking gestures. Groove Guy and Groovum muttered some more, then nodded. The two of them jumped up onto the table at once and all eyes were on them.

"Me and Groovum came up with this one back when we were members of the Shy Gang, but no one wanted to do it!" said Groove Guy.

Groovum pulled out a map, bent down, and pressed it flat against the table's surface. Everyone else crowded around. "As you can see, we are here," he said, pointing somewhere where the words "Sarasa Land" were not too far off. "We need to go..." he swept his fin-like hand across the words "Lava Lava Island", "Yoshi's Island", and "Isle Delfino" until it stopped somewhere nearby where it said "Koopa Kingdom", "...here," he continued. "The Clattagin Woods! We heard some kind of music box has something to do with that place."

Groove Guy continued for him. "We remember what you said about that one place with all the Marios. If that didn't work, this will! It might be a little dangerous, like the Shy Gang said, but we can handle it, right?"

The others looked at each other and shared a few comments.

"It could work," said Night Guy.

Rudy nodded, thinking very much the same thing. "Good, good. Just one more thing: Groove Guy, Groovum, do you think you two could leave a few of your Beezos behind to guard this place? It belongs to us, after all."

"Oh ho, no problem, Mr. Rudy, sir!" said Groove Guy.

"That's what we're here for!" said Groovum.

Rudy clapped his hands together and rubbed them. "Then it's settled! Our next destination shall be... The Clattagin Woods!"

"YEAH!" they shouted at once.

"Now, boys, I think we all know what time it is now that we have a new plan to honor..." Rudy said, placing his hands behind him. The others nodded, grinned, and pulled out their instruments. Respectively, Rudy pulled his drumsticks out from behind him. He twirled them in his fingers like a pair of propellers, then struck them together, making a loud CLACK sound. "TO THE ROOF!!"

"YEAH!!!"

While the clouds were starting to get a little dark, a certain mad scientist was performing an activity of observation in his little Sky-Pop.

Dr. Kamenstein took note of the structures of the buildings as he flew just above the once peaceful Gana Village. The houses all had blue roofs that were a little steeper than what he was used to. The houses themselves were mostly white, and it was as though the pieces of wood that were covering them came in various X and V shapes. A lot of things in the village were pretty wooden for that matter, including the tables, the signs, and the stacks of barrels. He also noticed how one of these buildings had the shape of a Super Mushroom whirling around just above its door, but no customers or any shop owners seemed to be going in or out. In fact, there wasn't any of that anywhere. It was like the town was completely deserted. What made him realize even further that this was the right place was the fact that there were
these odd-looking Beezos buzzing about, as though trying to patrol the place.

"'Evil Clowns', indeed," he grumbled to himself. "What are they up to this time?"

Suddenly, one of them stopped floating around aimlessly, and turned towards him. Its spear was pointed right at him.

"Oh, getting frisky now, are we? We'll see about that..." The doctor hovered a finger over a certain button on his control panel. The Beezo made its spear jolt suddenly and something burst from its tip. At once, a spider web with weights suspending it appeared out of nowhere and nearly engulfed the man! Thinking quickly, he maneuvered the vehicle so it could dive beneath the thing and let it sail behind him, pointlessly. The Beezo looked annoyed. "You'll have to do better than that, little one," the Madscikoopa chuckled. He aimed, hit the button, and FWOOSH! The Beezo instantly became no longer a thing of red and purple, but rather blue and white. It sparkled in midair with wisps of steam spilling off of it for a few seconds, and then it plummeted to the ground. Dr. Kamenstein peered over the edge to watch the rest of the results. KISHHH! The statue he had just made shattered into a million pieces as it hit the ground. "Kamenstein: One, Evil Clowns: Zero," he gloated. "It looks as though my Blifit Bills are a complete success." Then he noticed that about ten or more Beezos were wanting to pick a fight with him as well. "So, you guys want some, too, eh? I say, come and get it." They all tried firing more of their nets at him, but it didn't work. His diving techniques were too quick for them. "You're still not impressing me," the scientist said, half taunting, half scolding. Seeing their opponent had moved once again, they each turned their heads and readied their spears. FWOOSH! FWOOSH! FWOOSH! Three strokes later, and the whole lot of them had been transformed into figures of ice just as their comrade had been a few seconds ago. KISHHHH!!! The shattering sound that resulted was even more abundant than before. "You're all wasting my time," he said. He continued flying over the village's rooftops.

As his search for the real prize dragged on, he started noticing something else: something that consisted of an electric guitar, a keyboard, some type of horn, a few voices, and a set of drums; something that sounded very familiar to him, and sounded as though it was coming from that direction, over there.

"Playing some more of your evil music, are you?" the vengeful man said to himself. "Well, it's not going to work this time..."

As he shifted where he was headed slightly, he began to hear something else as well. This was the sound of a horde of insect-like wings buzzing right behind him. Looking over his shoulder, he could see that those blasted Beezos still were not through with him. This time, they brought the whole family.

"All right, pests, you asked for it..." He turned around and let the battle begin...

Jooooooo, joo joo JOO joo joooooo; Jooooooo, joo joo JOO jooooooo. Jooooooo, joo joo JOO joo joooooo; Jooooooo, joo joo JOO jooooooo...

Rudy and the Eight Goofalings were on the roof of the prison, rocking out hard. The Clown Copter was just behind them and they were each cranking out their musical talents in their own ways. The combination between those instruments, those notes, and those 8-Bits wailing into a pair of microphones kind of made it sound as though their music was actually screams of anguish. Taffy Kong and Har-Harlequin were dancing to the music. Jester was growling something quickly, but rhythmically into his mike...

Daddy will not come for you.
Daddy has forsaken you.
Daddy will not comfort you.
Daddy has forgotten you.
Daddy will not come for you.
Daddy has forsaken you.
Daddy will not comfort you.
Daddy has forgotten... YOU!!!

Jester screamed out that last part and the rest of the band started playing a more creative part of the song. Jester started singing in his lovely voice.

Welcome to my world. Yeah.
Where there is no light.
Welcome to where there is no hope.
To where there is eternal night.

I own you now.
Don't ask me how.
I will torture you
And puncture you.
This is your new reality.
You'll burn down here.
You'll break down here.
You'll suffocate
With angst and hate.
Won't you just love eternity?

Ba-doyng played something crazy with his guitar. Jester and the 8-Bits did the rest...

Don't you get it?
You are dead!
Don't you remember?
They chopped off your head!
Nothing will come and save you now.
You belong to me!
Your hide is mine!
You'll scream for help!
You'll cook like swine!
Tormenting you forever is our vow.

Then the band started playing something not unlike what they did to kick off the song. Jester did his part once more...

Here we have the needle room.
Don't you just love sleeping in spikes?
Here we have the nightmare tomb.
We have all your greatest dislikes!

You're the property
Of me, you see.
I will scrape your face
Right off its place.
You will cry and bleed forever.
Now, don't you fear.
You'll love it here.
You'll love my jaws.
You'll love my claws.
Ceasing is what we don't do ever.

Ba-doyng's guitar went off again...

The band played crazily for a few more seconds. Their tune escalated until it reached a SHOOOM. It suddenly dropped, and they started playing softer and weirder. This time, it sounded more like ghosts swimming in muck. Jester was growling again...

So, you want a way out, do you?
So, you want to see daylight, do you?
So, you want a nightlight, do you?
So, you want your teddy, do you?
So, you want it to end, do you?
So, you don't want this anymore, do you?
So, you've had enough, have you?
Well, I say to you... HA!!!

The band's song was back with its original vigor. They played powerfully some more, and then the singers went on with their main part again...

Then the clowns dragged out another instrumental portion of the piece. It almost had this majestic feel to it. Finally, another SHOOOM occurred, but this time it was just Jester letting his great voice echo through the microphone.

There will never be another dawn...

He let the melancholy verse reverberate through the air...

Your freedom is completely gone...

Then he went for the big finish...

You will burn... in...

The others had their hands posed, ready to let their instruments ring out the finale of the song. They all waited on Jester, but then...

FWOOSH! The Evil Clown suddenly became a statue of ice, clutching at a microphone, looking ready to pour its heart out. They all gasped in horror and confusion. Then CRACK! BOOOMM! It started to pour. They turned their heads to the right and saw something coming right at them with lightning, thunder, rain, nets, statues of ice, and fleeing Beezos right behind it. CRACK! BOOOMM! Another flash of lightning erupted and they could see the rain dripping off of its glasses and its lab coat. They could see droplets of water being flung off of a set of whirling blades. KI-KI-KISHHHH!!! Shattering sounds were heard beneath him.

"What the-" said Taffy Kong.

“Rudy!!! We’ve got company!!!” shrieked Har-Harlequin.

“Oh, lord. Not this again,” grumbled Rudy, sliding his fingers down his face. He watched intently as the doctor went swooping around them some more, as though trying to circle them.

“It’s payback time,” growled the Madscikoopa.

Rudy could see he was drawing closer, surely to deal another blow. “All right, everyone,” Rudy said. Night Guy readied his horn. Ba-doyng and Katunk took on fighting stances. Har-Harlequin cracked her knuckles. Taffy Kong pulled out a barrel. Groove Guy and Groovum started jogging in place. Jester remained frozen. Rudy let out the command. “ATTAAAAAACCK!!!”

It was on. Night Guy started tooting his horn, using it to make knives with black handles shaped like musical notes materialize out of nowhere, and hurling them at the doctor. Ba-doyng started hopping around on top of the building’s roof. Katunk started walking forward, making the place shake with each step he took. Har-Harlequin thrust her palms out and used them to fire flaming hoops at their enemy. Taffy Kong was flinging barrels at him. As for Groove Guy and Groovum, they suddenly did this little, fast-paced dance in synchronization. Shortly afterwards, a swarm of their Beezos flew up from behind the building and joined this frenzy on the roof. Adding to the situation, they very fittingly started firing their nets at the opponent.

Up, down, down, up, sideways, this way, that way, the other way, etc. All of it was necessary if Dr. Kamenstein wanted to avoid getting stabbed, barreled, or caught in a web. It didn’t do much to avoid getting wet, though. CRACK! BOOOMM!

“Ugh!!” The sudden light and sound was a little distracting. FOOOM! He tilted the device ever so slightly. That was close. A smoking ring of blazing fury nearly singed off the left side of his head. He had to retaliate, and fast. WHUMP! The man was nearly thrown right out of his seat. “What in-“ he started. He looked over his right shoulder to see some big, round, goofy-looking thing was hopping around and some spiky thing was clunking around. Most definitely, it was that round guy that hit him earlier. He had to be more careful. FOOOMM! Another fire hoop almost got him. He had to be a lot more careful.

Dr. Kamenstein turned and started coming right towards them. WHOOSH! WHOOSH! WHOOSH! Three whirling knives came close to landing some type of unpleasant wound upon his yellow face. He quickly decided this purple guy with stars all over him was the next to go. Getting into a good position to fire away at such a person was another task, though. Here, there, and in the other direction, more and more nets were trying to grab a hold of him. However, a few skilled maneuvers, and he was in the clear.

Ha-WOOONKK! By blowing on his horn once more, Night Guy was once again ready for another- FWOOSH! Too late. Night Guy had suffered a fate similar to that of Jester. He became a frozen statue ready to throw another knife. Another small victory belonged to the man in the lab coat. He quickly pulled up to avoid another web.

Come to think of it, those Beezos were starting to get annoying, too. He decided they were next. He turned the Sky-Pop, and started coming towards the little punks. The doctor suddenly jolted his head to the right. Another barrel went sailing past his left shoulder. Being through with that and with the Beezos within proximity, he let them have it. FW-FW-FWOOSH! Another batch of bothersome Beezos had been brutally beaten. KISSSHHH! A sweet sound. The battle continued. CRASH! A barrel splattered into a dozen pieces of chipped wood the instant it got the scientist right on the scalp. “UGH!” he grunted. He accidentally let his device spin a little out of control. WHUMP! That round thing got him from the bottom and he was made even more dizzy. FOOM! A miracle was what allowed that next fire hoop to miss him. He finally shook his head, got his wits back together, and went for the next round.

He took a second to make more observations. It was still raining. That orangutan had another barrel ready. The round thing was still hopping about, and the ugly woman had her palms out again. That, and the two 8-Bits, Groove Guy and Groovum, were doing another dance. Another swarm of Beezos appeared out of nowhere. He dodged more barrels, more attacks from below, more fire hoops, and more nets. Before long, he had another set of freezo Beezos made. KISSHH! Still, more were on his list.

To his right, he noticed the sphere-like monster had hopped into the air right next to him. He decided doing that thing in wouldn’t hurt, either. Then another barrel went flying at him. He dodged that, and more nets, and he fired another Blifit Bill. FWOOSH! He added a banana-flavored popsicle to his collection. He turned the machine around, fired another at the round one before he let it hit the ground, and FW-KSHHH! It turned into a big globe of ice and plopped to the ground, and one of its legs got broken off. Dr. Kamenstein noticed the battle had just gotten a little easier. Still, more fire hoops were coming his way. Could he take on the woman, too?

Groove Guy and Groovum looked at each other, nodded, and danced again. For about the third time, a bunch of Beezos showed up inexplicably. Dr. Kamenstein made his eyebrows scrunch down in displeasure. He wanted to go for the ugly, green one, but more Beezos were pointing their spears at him. He hit the magic button again and made more glittering statues out of the horde. He heard the shattering sound once more, sailed above a big, fat clown’s head, and started turning. That fat one was watching him intently. Dr. Kamenstein didn’t care.

Turning back around, he noticed the two 8-Bits about to do another dance. “Oh, no you don’t,” he growled. He fired off another ice thing, and pretty soon he had two more frigid figures to add to his collection. Noticing the woman sending another one of her hoops at him, he fired two more Blifit Bills. The first one immediately turned the hoop into a ring of sparkling blue stuff. The second one headed straight for Har-Harlequin. KISSHH! The frozen doughnut shattered, and Kamenstein smiled. “These things work better than I thought,” he mused.

”That no good- ACK!” Seeing the strange, light blue-colored projectile coming towards her, Har-Harlequin dropped to the ground. She could feel it vibrating with Katunk’s steps, but that was the least of her worries.

“Oh, LOORRD!!!” Rudy shrieked. He took his eyes off the enemy for a second and sent his floating hands in front of his face. Unfortunately for him, that didn’t help one bit. FWWOOOSHH! The fat one was down for the count, too.

Har-Harlequin heard the airplane fly over her head again and another CRACK! BOOOMM! She got up off the wet ground, looked behind her, and asked, “Rudy, are you al- ACCKK! Rudy, not you, too?!” She was horrified to see that their massive leader had been turned into a massive ice sculpture with its hands before its face. FWOOSH! The subtle vibration she barely felt in her feet had suddenly stopped for good. She turned around and saw that Katunk got frozen, too, and that the plane was coming right for her. It was just her, the rain, and this mad man.

“Once you’re down, I’m through,” the doctor said to himself.

“Want some of this, do ya?!” Har-Harlequin growled. She sent her palms out, concentrated, and let it out. Poof! All she succeeded in creating was a little puff of smoke. “No!” she gasped. Dr. Kamenstein was coming closer. She tried it again. Poof! More smoke. “NO!” she shrieked. Dr. Kamenstein fired. “ACK!” She saw the missile coming for her again, and she rolled to her side, knocking down Katunk’s keyboard in the process. SHING! That and the sound of the doctor’s little plane going over her head was what she heard. She got up, slipped, and crashed right back down onto the sopping ground again. “What the-“ She noticed all his attack did was make where she could stand a little more slippery. She looked up and saw her nemesis coming at her again. “NO! NOT THIS TIME!” she screeched.

“Say goodbye,” Dr. Kamenstein said. He had the button and his target right where he wanted them.

Har-Harlequin tried extremely hard to get her head on straight in such a dire situation. She focused. With her arms spread out, her teeth gnashing, and her eyes clenched shut, she focused, she focused, and she focused. Dr. Kamenstein was even closer to her. He was ready to hit the button when suddenly-

-WHOOSH! “What in-“ the doctor grunted. The statue of Jester was suddenly right in front of him. He had to jerk to his right once more. Upon turning around, he noticed that all eight of the statues, including the one he had just dodged and the other with the missing leg, were floating in the air. He was very confused. This didn’t seem to be going in the direction he wanted it to.

Har-Harlequin was breathing heavily. She slowly lifted her eyes open, saw that her spell was working, turned around, headed for the Clown Copter behind Rudy’s drum-set, grabbed a hold of its edge, and hurled herself in.

What befuddled the Madscikoopa even further was how these statues started floating towards one spot. Even the instruments were doing this. All 13 of the ice sculptures of Jester, Night Guy, Taffy Kong, Ba-Doyng, Groove Guy, Groovum, Rudy, and Katunk, along with their instruments, the keyboard, the electric guitar, the drum-set, and the two microphones of the two new members, went floating into the Clown Copter with the woman. Kamenstein had no idea how such a collection of clowns could fit in so small a contraption. Soon after that, its propeller started going, and the device was beginning to hover. He tried firing another one of the Blifit Bills at it, but it was starting to pick up the pace. SHING! He made another portion of the roof icy. In seconds, the Clown Copter was floating away from the building, into the rainy sky. He fired again and again, but neither time did he hit it. He wasn’t too sure what he hit that time. The rain against his spectacles was kind of making it hard to see. While maintaining his control of his flying machine, he rubbed the fingers of his right hand across his glasses, and everything was clear again. The Evil Clowns were gone.

“Go ahead,” he grumbled. “Run away. Don’t ever come back...”

At last, he lowered his altitude, skidded his Sky-Pop to a stop on the roof, turned the thing off, and got out. He headed for that one miniature building on the roof of the building, itself, with the door in it. He turned the knob and let himself in. Finally, he was out of that cold rain.

“Now, let’s get to the bottom of this,” he said. He started descending the staircase...

Meanwhile, thoughts were being spoken aloud somewhere inside of a certain Clown Copter trying to flee Gana Village for good. These thoughts weren’t necessarily the cheeriest. “Thank goodness for backup spells. Looks like we’ll be in Clattagin Woods sooner than we thought...”

“You can rest here for the time being,” said the man in white. Beel translated this to Xoshi, and he nodded. The three of them were in the room of the Toad House of this desert town with the Toad himself. He was just standing off to the side while Xoshi was sitting down on the bed with the man beside him. Xoshi was still finding this place unbearably hot. The man, of course, seemed to be just fine with the heat. “Take care of yourself,” he said, bowing his head. “I must be off...” He turned to head out the door.

Stop him, Beel instructed.

“Wait!” Xoshi called out.

The man halted. He turned around and asked, “What is it?”

Xoshi thought about what to say with a little help from Beel. “You’re... ‘White Rose’... right?” he struggled to say.

The man nodded. “Yes, that is what they call me. What do you need of me?” he asked.

Xoshi thought some more. “The wandering knight... right?” he said.

”Yes, that’s correct,” the man responded.

Introduce yourself, Beel said.

Xoshi pointed to himself. “Me Xoshi.”

UGH, Beel grunted.

What? Xoshi thought back.

Nothing... Just say what you need to say.

Okay.

Xoshi commenced trying to carry out these orders as well. He said, “Xoshi need your help,” he said, awkwardly.

“Yes, what is it?” said the man. The Toad didn’t seem to be the least bit interested in this conversation.

“Xoshi need you...” he pointed to him, “to take Xoshi to... Shooting Star Summit,” he got out.

The man blinked. “Why?”

“You’ll see,” Xoshi said, a little on the ominous side. The one he asked for help from just stood there and blinked a little more.

This could be a little tricky, Beel warned. Just ask him if it would be too much trouble.

“It that too much?” Xoshi asked.

The white-garbed one shook his head. “No, it isn’t, Sir Xoshi. I’m just not sure what’s going on.”

Beel gave Xoshi more instructions. “Trust Xoshi,” he said. The man still stood there silently. “Please.”

The man remained standing. He had his hands resting on his hips. His eyes looked from left to right. He saw the pot in the corner, the trunk right next to it, the variously colored bottles on the shelf above it, and the person that was asking him for his help sitting on the bed there with that pleading look in his eyes. He still wasn’t too sure. He looked at the lamp on the table in the other corner, and the Toad, himself. The two of them looked at each other for a second. The Toad just shrugged. The taller of the two looked at his feet. He remained in this position for a few more seconds. Finally, he looked up. “All right,” he said.

Xoshi nodded, relieved. “Thanks,” he said. The standing one nodded back.

Well, that wasn’t too hard, Beel commented. Now we wait until it’s time to leave...

While Xoshi curled back and laid down on the bed, the Toad continued doing not much in particular, and the individual Xoshi had just convinced turned around. He walked to one wall of the place, extended an arm, and put a hand against it. He leaned there with his other hand on his hip. He took this matter into contemplation.

I’m not sure what this is about, White Rose thought to himself, but I hope it’s worth it...

Our food, it did not come that day,
So I sat in my cell, wasting away
Wondering what the problem could be.
I soon found out I was not to fret
And that our troubles, we could soon forget.
A man in a lab coat came up to me.

Ever since, it has been known
That our capturers, the clowns, have flown.
The sorrow of us all at last could cease.
Our days of bowing and scraping sank.
We had this scientist to thank.
Gana Village was once again at peace.

Even then, I had to wonder
Beneath that lightning and that thunder
What came to be of my wife and kin?
Oh, my loved ones, I did miss.
I had to find the answer to this.
I asked our savior with the yellow skin.

Once we had the time and the place,
We then sat down so we could retrace
The steps we took as the days went by.
It was through him I did find out
That my wife and kin were still about.
I felt a tear of joy come from my eye.

I thanked this man for this information.
It truly was an accommodation.
I was basking in relief galore.
We then began to talk of things,
But still I had my ponderings.
Soon enough, we’ll be family once more...

Read on!

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.