Part 4: Manners Are Important!
They finally arrived at Crazy’s Castle. Mario, Yoshi, Peach, Luigi, and Bowser got down and walked up to the drawbridge over the moat.
There was a sign clearly saying: “Please do not enter without my permission. Thank you, Crazy Bowser”.
Bowser and the gang began wondering
how to get into the castle, when the drawbridge began to lower with a loud
creak. They walked across it after it had lowered, painfully aware of the
Megasmilax watching them from the moat…
“Ha, so the fools have come, and have brought Peach along with them,” muttered Crazy to Krystal as they watched them enter the fortress.
“Something about this feels wrong, somehow,” said Krystal.
“Nonsense,” said Crazy, “I might be an insane super-villain bent on destroying everything that exists, but I feel that I play fair!”
“Are you going to let them make their own ways up here, or what?” asked Krystal.
“I’m going to make them surrender. I
tried to be polite with my sign, but they obviously ignored it, so I am
going to teach them a lesson they will never forget!” cried Crazy.
They walked down a dimly lit hallway when suddenly the lights came on. After they readjusted their eyes, they saw the hideous form of Crazy Bowser standing before them.
“Didn’t you see my sign?” he said, “I guess then you need a lesson in manners! And here’s lesson number one!” As he said this, he leaped over Bowser, Luigi, Mario, Yoshi, and Peach to land behind them. Peach was at the back of the group, and so was now very close to him.
“It’s rude to drop in unannounced unless it’s to pay a small visit! So I suggest you try this patented Mini-Mario laser on for size!” he cried, pulling out a small red gun and shooting it at Peach. Peach began to shrink, until she was no more then an inch high.
Crazy Bowser scooped up Peach into a jar and held her out for them to see.
“Now, surrender, or watch as I turn your princess into a pile of ashes!” he declared.
Bowser, and the others, seeing no way out of this, agreed reluctantly. Crazy pressed a button on the wall, and Bowser, Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi were bounced towards the throne room on a huge spring.
“That made my day,” he said.
When Mario woke up, he could hear voices arguing.
“Was that even necessary?” cried a female voice.
“I wasn’t taking any chances, the plan is just about to be completed!” cried Crazy Bowser.
“Still, they had surrendered!” said the voice again.
“Ah, but they would have attacked me the moment I turned my back, you can’t assume anything these days!” cried Crazy.
Mario opened his eyes and saw Crazy Bowser and a girl with blue skin. He looked and saw he was chained to the wall by his arms and legs. Peach, Luigi, Yoshi, Bowser and Daisy (who is now back to normal) were there as well, however, Bowser was wearing a mussel on his face and so was Yoshi. He definitely isn’t taking any chances, thought Mario.
Noticing they were awake, Krystal motioned
to Crazy, who turned to them and spoke:
“Welcome, all, this is Crazy Bowser’s Fortress! As Daisy will explain to you, I am Bowser’s super-powered clone! I am now almost ready to finish the plan! All I need now; is this!” As he said this, he pulled out a remote and pressed a button. The ground began to shake, and a HUGE laser cannon emerged from the floor and was aimed straight down the hole it had appeared from.
“This is my plan,” he said. “In the center of Plit, there is a source of tremendous power. This is the very center of Plit, the furthest you can dig before you start coming up the other side. Unlike other planets, this one’s core is surprisingly cool. Because of this, I was able to drill down into the center of Plit. This is where that energy source is. I have discovered that if you were to shoot a great enough power down, there would then be enough energy to annihilate an entire universe, and a thousand others besides. There was only one place I could get energy that powerful. You have been to Final Destination, have you not?”
Mario nodded his head, how could he forget? He and the other Smash Champions had made their way there, only to fight the best fighters in the galaxy, Master Hand and his evil alter ego Crazy Hand. After they had been defeated, Master Hand was so annoyed that he got a Bowser Trophy and gave it much more power in order to turn it into the ultimate fighter: Giga Bowser. Only Jigglypuff had been able to stand up to that, and that had been the end of it!
“Well, there was an orb underneath the stage that Master Hand used to give Giga Bowser his power,” said Crazy. “It is known as the Chaos Orb, and it is the only orb which contains pure Chaos. Chaos energy is virtually unlimited, and this energy will be more then enough to destroy everything ever created!”
Bowser, realizing what he’d just said, cried out, in a bit of a muffled voice, “But there is no one strong enough to remove that orb without getting a huge amount of pain, and even death!”
“Ah,” said Crazy, “you give yourself too little credit, Bowser. When you cloned yourself, you did not seem to realise exactly how strong I would become. Fortunately, there was one person that could remove the orb, and that would be…”
Crazy Bowser held out the accursed orb that was Final Destination’s source of power, and held it above his head.
“…me” he finished. Then he roared and said, “Now, you will see thy doom, this orb is to be your end! But before I finish the millennium-long story of Plit, I’m going to show you exactly how big your greatest mistake was!”
Crazy’s grip on the orb tightened, and it crackled with electricity. The electricity spread down his arm, causing him to grow bigger, still with the tongue, more lethal, and more powerful until…
“I am no longer your clone,” roared the abomination. “I am now the ultimate power, I am now, Giga Crazy Bowser! And now, the world will end!”
Letting out an inhuman scream, Giga Crazy Bowser turned to the laser, inserted the orb, and pressed a button. A computerized voice began: “Apocalypse Cannon charging…” it said. “Laser charged at 5% and charging…”
Giga Crazy Bowser let out a hideous inhuman scream and…
End of Part 4!
Spiny, Spiked Yoshi and D.G. are hidden under a chair.
Goombs: Ok, I’m done now. The fourth part is finished!
They slowly come out.
Spiny: So… Exactly… what is going to happen?
Goombs: How should I know? From the looks of things, Crazy Bowser is probably going to win.
Spiked Yoshi: Yeah right, that’s what always happens.
D.G: Yeah, Yoshi is right, Goombs, they always get close to winning, and then something happens!
Goombs: And what could possibly happen?
D.G: I don’t know, but someone could break in unexpectedly!
A chicken comes flying in through the window.
D.G: Like that!
Ed: I LOVE CHICKENS, EDDY!
Spiked Yoshi: Or that…
Morton: WEDDING CAKE!
Spiny: Or that even…
Boo Man Bluff: I HEAR VOICES!
Goombs: OK! I GET THE PICTURE!
FINAL PART: The Apocalypse
“Laser charging 5%,” said the motorized voice.
Giga Crazy Bowser let out an inhuman scream again. “Now, Mario Bros, the second this laser fires, you will be beaten!” he cried.
“You can’t beat me,” said Mario.
“WHAT?” snarled Crazy Bowser.
“You’re a coward. All your life, you’ve been running and hiding. You ran from Bowser, you fled to the Spiny Kingdom after attacking him, you’ve built a huge fortress to hide in, and now, you’re using a laser to win things for you. You’re weak, and,” Mario took a breath, “you’re a coward!”
“I AM NO COWARD!” yelled Giga Crazy Bowser.
“Prove it, by fighting me in a one-on-one fight,” said Mario. “If you’re so powerful, what have you got to lose?”
“Laser charged 10%,” said the voice again.
“FINE!” said Crazy Bowser. He pushed a button on the remote, crushing it under his finger. The chains connecting Mario to the wall unfastened themselves.
“Crazy, don’t do it!” cried Krystal. “This is bad, you must not fight him!”
“Why?” said Crazy. “Why should I turn my back? This is a challenge, and I’m going to face it head on! Now!”
Crazy bowed to Mario. Mario, feeling obliged, did the same, and then they got into their fighting positions. They circled each other, waiting for the first move, then-
“Corona Flash Blast!” yelled Crazy as he blasted Mario.
Mario jumped out of the way, and then gave him a Super Jump Punch. Crazy flew against the wall shaking up the whole room. “Laser charged 17.5%.”
He came back with a Vorpal Punch, causing Mario to go through the wall into the corridor. Crazy leapt after him and threw him back into the room. After leaping back in, he snarled and leapt around Mario, making taunting movements as Mario staggered around, confused by the speed at which Crazy was moving. Crazy taunted him, and then headbutted him against the wall. Tears were streaming down Peach’s eyes. Mario, thinking fast, dodged the next move and pulled out a Starman he had been saving for just this kind of situation. It glowed around him, and he began glowing golden, as the Star’s invincibility took effect.
Noticing this, Crazy laughed. He ran at Mario and shoulder dashed him into the wall, Wario style. Mario, laying on the floor, was still glowing, even as Crazy slammed him. Looking smug as he sat upon the squashed Mario, he suddenly began shaking. As the yellow glow filled the room, he was suddenly flung across to the other side of the room, head first. Mario stood there, glowing like a new-born star. He leapt at Crazy, picked him up, and began swinging him around by the tail. Bowser cringed; it was reminiscent of the same move he had pulled on Bowser in the Dark World. Crazy was flung to the other side of the room. “Laser charged 25%”.
Crazy got back up. He might be about to lose the fight, but he wasn’t about to give up. There was a fire burning in his eyes, the kind that tellswhen a person is enjoying a fight and getting ready for some more, regardless of the outcome…
“No, Crazy! Stop!” cried Krystal, “I don’t want to see you get hurt!”
The next minute Krystal was on the floor, a piece of roofing having hit her on the head, rendering her unconscious. Crazy looked at her and lost control, completely. His eyes went insane, with rings of color coming from the pupils. He ran at Mario, who had now lost his Star Power, and roared as he began fighting out of pure fury. His claws crackled with dark energy as he slashed and punched at Mario, who didn’t even fake taking the hits. Eventually, he lost the will to be angry and smacked Mario, who rolled on the floor like a discarded ragdoll.
He turned back to the laser, 48% charged. There was now nothing left to do but wait…
“I can’t believe you!” cried Peach.
“Do not begin telling me about your problems,” said Crazy.
“You attack Mario because your friend got knocked out, even though it was because you were plotting to destroy everything!” said Peach, tears streaming down her cheeks again. “You probably don’t even care now about what happens to Krystal!”
“Never say that!” said Crazy. “I will always care about what happens to her, in the same way Mario cares about what happens to you!”
“But I don’t want to blow the world up,” said Mario. “Peach means too much to me to be worth losing!”
“I do not wish to lose her,” said Crazy.
“But what you are doing is wrong; if you destroy everything, you lose everything, her included!” said Mario.
“Are you trying to say,” said Crazy, “that I care more for endless destruction, than I do for the only friend I have on the whole of Plit?”
“That’s what it looks like,” said Peach, “and you’re obviously not a very good friend if you’re going to destroy her along with everything else!”
“Laser charged 55%.”
Looking from Peach, to Krystal, then to Mario, he was turning the situation over in his head, viewing it from every angle possible: he wanted her to be happy, destroying everything would make her unhappy, she’d never objected to the plan in the first place, he would be killing her as well as himself, didn’t that make it even? Did she want to die, under the circumstances, did he want to die?
“You’re making the biggest mistake of your life, like Bowser, but his was reversible at least. You’ll never be able to repent for this great a sin,” said Peach. “If you want to be better than Bowser, do something that makes you better, not worse!”
She was right, Crazy now realised it. He wanted to see Krystal happy, he wanted to see the sunset again, and, while he thought, memories came floating into his head…
Krystal and him eating some food. It had been to celebrate his Spiny Kingdom takeover…
Opening presents at Christmas. Last year he had received a pair of socks…
Chocolate at Easter. He had never been able to sit still for a month afterwards…
Fireworks, always very nice, although they can be dangerous…
Fond memories, he realised, better then the ones he had had received from Bowser, and this made him better, so he wanted more, and to do that…
“You are free to go,” said Crazy.
“Laser charged at 75%.” said the voice.
Crazy blasted the chains loose with his flamebreath.
“You’ll have to make your own way out,” he said.
“No problem,” said Luigi.
“Oh, and do me a favor,” said Giga Crazy Bowser, motioning towards Krystal. “Take her with you, make sure she’s safe, and tell her I’m sorry, for causing her trouble. Do not blame her, she really never liked the plan in the first place, but I’d made her a deal, and she had gone along with it, so please do not convict her.”
“Laser charged 80%”.
“Get as far away from here as you can,” said Crazy.
Luigi grabbed Krystal, and the friends (and Bowser) ran towards the exit. Crazy turned towards the laser…
“Time to correct my mistake…” he muttered, as he walked towards it…
The entire fortress was shaking from the magnitude of the laser. Crazy had not expected to need a castle after his plan had been executed, so he was free to make the laser as powerful as possible.
Mario and the others ran down a corridor.
“How do we find our way out?” asked Daisy.
“How should I know?” said Bowser.
A Buster Beetle that was escaping ran past them. Nodding to each other they followed him towards the drawbridge. Krystal was still unconscious.
Outside, they raced towards the doomship. Once there, the engines started whirring up, and the Mario Gang made their way up to the upper deck.
Inside, Crazy reached out a claw and grabbed the orb inside the laser. There was a tremendous shock of electricity and he was thrown back a couple of feet.
“Grr, this is going to be tougher then I thought. If I can’t stop it firing, I can at least make it fire the wrong way…”
And, grabbing the butt-end of the laser, he began trying to pull the laser down towards the hole, so it was pointing directly up.
“Laser charged, 95%” said the voice, through the noise of the quake.
The laser was only halfway!
“Krystal, this one is for you,” he thought, and pulled on the laser as hard as he could, using every bit of energy he could spare…
As the doomship began floating away, Krystal sat up suddenly; making Luigi wet himself as he was watching her. She ran to the side of the doomship and looked at the fortress that had once been her home.
“Did he have anything to say to me?” she muttered.
“He said he was sorry, for dragging you into it,” said Peach, just as quietly.
Suddenly, a dark orb was shot straight out of the roof, making a perfect O in the roof. It zoomed into space, where it would no longer cause harm. For a moment, everything froze, and then suddenly, with a loud rumbling that rivaled the earthquake, the fortress began collapsing…
“NO!” cried Krystal.
Within fifteen seconds, the entire fortress was nothing more than a pile of bricks.
“I have to find him!” she cried, opening her wings and flying away.
“But there is no chance of him surviving!” cried Luigi.
“He must survive!” she cried. “He has to!”
“No,” said Bowser.
Everyone turned to look at him.
“He used most of his energy to stop the laser. I doubt if there is anything left of him…” said Bowser, sadly.
“No, that can’t be true,” said Krystal, tears streaming down her eyes. “We’ve been through so much… I will find him, I must find him!”
And, without further ado, she turned and flew towards the rubble, on what everyone knew to be a hopeless quest, but deep in her heart, she knew she wouldn’t give up…
The doomship floated away, all had been saved. Crazy Bowser had been defeated, Bowser wouldn’t try anything for a week or two now, Cackletta was dead, King Boo was playing darts with Petey Piranha, Birdo was… still asleep, and the Golden Diva had been defeated.
However, as it flew away, Daisy could’ve
sworn she heard a faint, inhuman scream…
Spiny looks at Goombs.
Spiny: Is it just me, or is that an open ending?
Goombs: Well, must’ve been. Crazy does Interviews and stuff these days, so he must’ve survived!
D.G: Well, it’s been great, guys. I’ve had a cameo appearance; you three, despite being predictably useless at the end-
Spiny: What? I was here for the cuteness!
Spiked Yoshi: I am the tough one!
Goombs: And I’m smart! Besides, you weren’t in the story either! You just came in and shouted Goombsicle at the end of one of the parts!
D.G Ice Beams Goombs.
Spiked Yoshi: Running gags, gotta love ‘em!
Spiny: You know something, when Crazy dies and can no longer write stories for Lemmy’s Land and stuff, unless he’s a featured author, we’re going to fade away in the history books…
D.G: Yeah, a sad thought really… See you in the next Fun Fiction!
Spiked Yoshi: Bye!
Spiny and Spiked Yoshi leave, D.G. Teleports, and Goombs is still frozen…
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