Where Mario Really Came From

By Cranium 7

It is about .002 millenia ago on an Andalite cruiser, carrying Prince Marriokah-Italium-Accentiur, Aristh Luigoinem-Greeniul-Suckiur, and Aristh Yoshoshoshi-Dinodudiun-Lickagorf, heading for Earth...

Luigoinem: Prince Marriokah, I am tired of killing Yeerks.

Marriokah: Why is that, Aristh Luigoinem? Are you soft?

Luigoinem: No, sir. They're just slugs! I want to kill other alien races!

Marriokah: Aristh, you have killed Yeerks, Hork-Bajir, Helmacrons, Skrit Na, Taxxons, Gedds, Chee, Humans, Nesk, Mercora, Mak, Ssstram, Leerans, and other Andalites. You've killed them with tail blades, teeth, claws, dracon beams, shredders, quantum viruses, and a Human invention called headphones.

Luigoinem: Oh yeah, the headphones one was great!

Marriokah: Like I was saying, what more do you want?

Luigoinem: I want to kill the Koopatafs!

Marriokah: The Koopatafs?! They're turtles!!

Yoshoshoshi: Do any of you care what I want to say?

Marriokah: Sure!

Yoshoshoshi: The Koopatafs are the stupidest, ugliest, wimpiest, TASTIEST, and just plain worst aliens in the galaxy. We should eliminate them, so we don't have to look at their ugly mugs!

Luigoinem (privately to Yoshoshoshi): Did you morph to Human and get drunk on McDonald's tri-fat non-dairy partially-gelatinated gum-based beverages again?

Yoshoshoshi (privately to Luigoinum): You mean shakes?

Luigoinem (privately to Yoshoshoshi): Yeah. Too much time in photocropical chemistry class again...

Yoshoshoshi (privately to Luigoinum): Drunk? ......maybe......


Both Arisths: Yessirweunderstand!!

Marriokah: Uh... okay. (Gets them every time)

Later that day...

Luigoinum: We have a Koopataf freighter! Lemme blast it!

Marriokah: Lemme? LEMME? Are YOU drunk on shakes too?

Luigoinum: ... How could YOU hear US?!

Narrator (me): Heh heh heh...

Yoshoshoshi: No, he ain't drunk, I done drinked all vit.

Marriokah and Luigoinum: We can tell...

?: "Hahahahahhahah!!"

Marriokah: Who the...?"

Luigoinum: It's King Bowserorapif!

Yes, reader, King Bowserorapif. King of the Koopatafs. He's the only strong, big one. And hundreds of species have tried to kill him. Lava pits, 100 foot drops, metal objects on the head, tossed eggs, bombs, and mustard gas, but he still hasn't died. Where as most Koopatafs only take a foot to the scalp.

Bowserorapif: "While you were wondering if any of you were drunk on shakes, I boarded your ship! Bwawawawawawawa! I mean Bwahahahahahahhah!"

Yoshoshoshi: Dah, this our ship, get off er I'll slice you good!

Bowserorapif: "Ooh, I'm scared."

Marriokah: You two Arisths morph. You don't have the tail fighting experience!

Luigoinum: Sir, we aquired two morphs today and mixed them together.Should--

Marriokah: Yes, use them.

Yoshoshoshi: Jah, okie dokie!

Bowserorapif: "So, what do you think you can do? You can't kill me!"

While Prince Marriokah was thinking, Bowserorapif used his anti-flame fume breath to melt off his tail!

Marriokah: Oh no, now I'm helpless!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, the two Arisths were done morphing and got Prince Marriokah into a seperate, turtle-proof room.

Yoshoshoshi: Sir do you have a new mixed morph?

Marriokah: Unghhhh... yes, and I see you're... unghhh... back to your senses.

Luigoinem: "Heya, Yoshoshoshi, what kind of a morph isa that?"

Yoshoshoshi: A Lizard and Frog mix.

Luigoinem: "Huh. Mine's a Human and Baboon-a mix."

Marriokah: "I'm-a done morphing. What's-a wrong with these voices-a though?"

Yoshoshoshi: I don't know, this form can't talk. What's your morph, sir?

Marriokah: "Orangutan and-a Human."


Bowserorapif: "Hah! Who built this 'Koopataf-proof' room?!"

The Andalites: "Bowserorapif!!"

Bowserorapif: "How dumb do you have to be to leave a demented tyrant in your control room? I set us on course to a planet I've wanted to conquer. And--"


Kamek: "Fnehhhh, I just teleported here, King, fnehhhh!"


Kamek: "Dyaah, this ship can't handle being teleported to, dyaaah!"


The ship was blown apart. Koopatafs don't need air, so Bowserorapif and Kamek were fine. Marriokah and Luigoinem were knocked out, but Yoshoshoshi's morph could last much longer. He pushed off from a piece of rubble and pushed them to the planet, which was really close. Once he woke up, Marriokah promoted Aristh Yoshoshoshi to Warrior. They were stuck in their morphs, so they wanted to fit in. Marriokah changed his name into Mario, Luigoinum changed his name into Luigi, and Yoshoshoshi changed into Yoshi. Also, far away, Kamek told Bowserorapif what his name meant so he changed his name into Bowser, King of the Koopa(taf)s.

BTW, Luigi has remained an Aristh (warrior-cadet) to this day, which is the lowest rank in the Andalite military.

The End

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