Peasley vs Cackletta

By Dashadu Dasher Koopa

Little Lemmy's Land Qualifier

Artwork by Fried Rooster

Part 1: The O So Evil One Rises Again!

A cloaked figure walked up a dark area of... darkness... across the Mushroom Kingdom. It soon arrived at a shiny mountain full of stars, and walked past several mushroom lights.

Untold Nintendo Stories Presents...

Two green Hammer Brothers stood in the first building in the area called Stardust Fields.

"Hey what're you..." they began until the figure revealed its ghostly hand, extending it enough to strangle the two Koopas until they passed out, letting it walked by.

Filmed by Dasher Koopa...

It passed Hoohoo Mountain and reached a lush green meadow with large bean-shaped plants poking out of the ground. A Beanie approached the villain, but it whipped out a small Bombshell Bill Launcher, which fired. The only remaining sight of the Beanie was its feet.

Finally the figure reached a town with a huge castle in the back. When near it, the figure threw off its cloak and revealed itself to be a small white ghost with spiral glasses and three strands of hair poking out of his head. He wore a long cape from the back of his head to his knees. Two buttons resided on his ghostly chest. A girlish laugh emitted from him.

"NOW IS WHEN O GREAT CACKLETTA SIN RISES AGAIN!!!" Fawful laughed, shooting a beam in the air.

Boy were the Beans in for a shock! A coffin floated down from the back of the castle and out came a tall green witch with a purple cape on her, as well as a blue oval gem on her forehead. Long nails stuck out of her hands. She opened her eyes, revealing horizontal maroon ovals of evil. A loud laugh was released.



Part Two: Cackletta Armed?!

Cackletta laughed evilly as she walked into Beanbean Castle, but immediately was knocked into the wet grass by the dashing Prince Peasley Bean. He got up, brushed dirt off of his blonde hair, straightened his red jacket, and snapped his fingers, emitting a bright light that surrounded everything but him.

"Well now, let's see who this- CACKLETTA?! What are you doing alive?! I thought Mario and Luigi killed you!" Peasley stared in shock.

Cackletta quickly raised her left hand, and a bolt of lightning descended upon Peasley, injuring him. "Fawful's Ghost has cured me. Now I will kill your dear Queen Bean and her army, and take over this place!" the evil witch cackled.

"Try and get inside, Cacky!" the noble prince snarled, jumping on his floating bean and pulling out his slender dagger, a poniard.

So the two who hated each other the most began to fight alone for the first time! Cackletta raised her hands, and two lightning bolts smashed near Peasley. Luckilly, the prince flew out of the way and threw his poniard, spinning, at Cackletta. It smashed into the ground. Cackletta shedded a tear, and raised her right hand to show... NOTHING! The villain began thrusting lighting bolts at Prince Peasley, who got hit by two but dodged the other four.

"Time to defeat you once and for all!" Peasly shouted, grabbing his poniard and thrusting it foward. But a bullet shot past Peasly, damaging his hand and knocking the poniard to the ground. He raised his head to see a nine millimeter pointed straight at him.

"Make one move and you die," Cackletta growled. She quickly jumped on her floating chair... no wait, there was none. BANG. She called Fawful to bring the chair, which he did. She then escaped.

Peasley stared into the sky. "Why does she hate Queen Bean so much anyway...?"

Part Three: This One Has It All!

Peasley sat on his floating bean in Beanbean Castle. Things had gone crazy. Cackletta Sin was alive, and unknown to him during the fight, Fawful had stolen the Beanstar!!! Now they could kill anyone at any moment and take over.

"This is an outrage!" Lady Lima screamed. "Your highness, your life is at stake!'

"I know," Queen Bean said. "Indeed, this is worse than Cackloser's last threat!"

Pea sat silently in the back of the room, but then got up and sprinted over to Peasley. "I GOT IT! Peasley can go fight with... the weapon..."

Lady Lima gasped. "Pea, you don't mean..."

"I do!" Pea said, pulling out a slender scabbard, and then pulling out another poniard. This one was the same size as Peasley's, but the handle had writing of the ancient Soybean Civilization and no blade. Replacing the blade was a shining Beanstone.

"The Beaniard, Prince Peasley."

Peasley picked it up, and suddenly a long energy blade shot out of the Beanstone. Lady Lima clapped, and Queen Bean laughed in her opera-ish voice.

"Excellent! Peasley, you ARE the Beanbean Kingdom hero!"

Peasley smiled, and packed up some items and the Beaniard. Suddenly he remembered something. "Queen Mom, why do you and Cackletta hate each other so much?"

Queen Bean began to speak, but Dasher's recording camera in Beanbean Castle ran out of power. We'll have to wait until later, I guess...

Cackletta floated back to her base, a flying ship modeled after her head. Tied up and dangling in the air behind her was Princess Peach.

"O Great Cackletta! Did you get Toadstool?"

"Indeed Fawful."

"Then we must spread the mustard of doom onto the bread of evil!"

Cackletta smiled, untied Peach, and pulled out her nine millimeter.

"EEEEK! Wha-what're you going to do?!" Peach shouted in fear.

That was enough to wake the Beanstar up. It floated around, trying to escape, but Fawful stuffed a cage over it. Cackletta laughed and stuffed the gun into her cloak.

"Now to put the mayonaise of villainy onto the mustard of doom which is on the bread of evil!" the fink rat-lover chuckled.

Cackletta walked up to the Beanstar's cage, and thought deeply.

I want Queen Bean to suffer...

The witch walked over to a camera, and turned it on to Beanbean Castle. Queen Bean was sicker than your confusion of how the camera could reach from Cackletta's fort. Even if you have no confusion... um... Queen Bean was real sick.


"Oh no!" Lady Lima yelled, "Peasley's too late!"

Cackletta's expression turned into a frown. A deeply upsetting frown. Fawful backed away. "Peasley?! HE'LL DIE NICE AND SLOW..." Cackletta growled, "Hey, where's Peach?"

Fawful pointed to an open window and a piece of Peach's parasol.

"Curse my hatred of Goonies."

Peasley flew high above Teehee Valley now, until he noticed a Sharpea on his wing.

"Oh god no."

The flying bean fell straight down, the Sharpea flew somewhere else, and a Bean walked up to the prince.

"Oh no! Oh god no! NOT YOU AGAIN!"

It was Popple.

Chapter Four: Peasley, Popple, and Gwarhar Mountain

"NOT YOU AGAIN!" Peasley screamed.

"But it is, see?" Popple cried. "I, Popple, shadow thief, have gotten away from being that stupid Fungi's work rookie! I will now steal your shiny sword thingy!"

Peasley, while Popple was talking, dived forward and slashed at Popple.

"HA! YA MISSED!" Popple laughed, but noticed a piece of his hat fly to the ground. "Aw nuts," he growled.

Popple sprinted at the prince, attempting a bump attack. Peasley flipped backward, and slashed the Beaniard at Popple, who jump up. But the energy blade fired a beam straight at Popple! Jolted with energy, Popple fell to the ground, but landed on the Sharpea that just walked there.



Popple flew into the air, and Peasley poured Pick-Me-Up juice onto his flying bean, which healed, allowing him to follow in hot pursuit.

Popple lay on the sand of Gwarhar Lagoon, sitting on a small crab.


"YEOWCH!" Popple cried, falling backwards into the sand. Peasley landed, and stuck the Beaniard in front of the shadow thief.

"WHY are you back to being a thief?" Peasley asked.

"I will not tell, see?" Popple said, zipring his mouth. He unzipped it five seconds later. "I will say... THERE'S my destination, bye!" Popple laughed, rushing toward a large mountain.

Peasley followed on his bean, seeing a lot of Oho Jees talking in gibberish. Ahead was the mountain, with a giant cannon on the top. Suddenly an idea crossed the prince's mind: All the Green Peppers he brought! He stuffed them into his mouth, and proceeded to jump. To his delight, he jumped at least seventy feet high with all his Green Peppers, landing on the top of the mountain. He pulled out a hookshot, and shot it at his bean, reeling it to him. Popple rushed up the mountain, but fell down in shock seeing Peasley.

"BOO! Boo, I say! I hate being a loser! TIme to finish you off!" Popple yelled, pulling out a hammer.

It happened in two seconds: Popple tossed the hammer, Peasley slashed it back, and Popple got a huge lump on his head and fell down, knocked out. The prince shot his grappling hook around Popple, tieing him up. He then jumped into the cannon with his bean, and heard a Bob-omb Buddy speaking:

"This is Bombette, saying get ready for a BLAST!"

Faster than sound, Peasley was shot out straight at what appeared to be Cackletta's flying fort. He flipped onto his bean, and flew forward.

Part Five: Cackletta Castle

Peasley flew around in this amazing sky. It was beautiful at sunset. A mixture of dark red and dark pink surrounded the Angry Sun. He could even see Peach's Castle from here! But he wasn't looking where he was going, and crashed right into Cackletta Castle's door, knocking it down. He got up and unsheathed his Beaniard.

"Cackletta, prepare to be defeated!"

Peasley left his bean behind and walked forward, encountering many Troopeas. He jumped on each, flipping them over, and fired beams of energy at them. They fell down, out cold. He quickly jumped through a hole in the ceiling.

Prince Peasley looked around and saw two long corridors, both looking exactly alike. Peasley looked confused, and took a step to the left. He must have hit a button on the floor, as Fawful was teleported to the room...


Peasley ran. Fast. No really, he ran fast. He passed the right corridor and entered a large battleroom. Inside were pictures of fink rats and people having fury fits.


Chapter Six: Fawful Fury!

Peasley watched in awe as the all-too-familiar Doom Dome fell on top of Fawful, which opened, showing Fawful as the Toadie he is. Pink-robed with small wings for hands and a large rod poking out of his head, Fawful was ready to fight.

Peasley dove forward and slashed at the dome many times with his Beaniard, and fired a beam from it. The dome overheated from the bean and fell open.


“Hahaha!” Peasley laughed, pulling out his old poniard and pinning Fawful to a wall with it. But the one with fury broke free of his prison, and made two helmets appear. They had numbers changing quickly on them, but the prince knew what would happen.

3… 2… 1…


Peasley had jumped out the way and shot a bolt of lightning at Fawful with a Thunder Rage, which also damaged three Time-Bob-Ombs.


“Easy,” Peasley laughed. “I didn’t know at all! I didn’t have a Thunderbolt.”

Fawful leaped into the air, spun around, and launched several free Roto-Discs at Peasley, who fell back from the their agility and hardness, as they were made of titanium.

“No wonder Mario could never beat these…” Peasley grumbled.

Peasley quickly got to his feet and pulled out a spare grappling hook head. He tossed it.


Fawful now had a giant lump on his forehead.

“#$( YOU! #$( YOU ALL!” the one with swearing… I mean fury, screamed. He dived forward, knocking Prince Peasley onto the ground. They struggled and punched, until Peasley devoured a Red Pepper.

“GAH! NOOO!” Fawful shouted.

The floor crumbled from the weight of two pieces of the dome, Fawful, and Peasley, and from cracks formed by the explosions. Fawful managed to get Peasley to land first, and he flew quickly up to grab the Beaniard Peasley dropped...

“Prepare to die, Buzz Lightyear.”

Suddenly whoever plays Emperor Zurg appeared and smacked Fawful, then left. That odd moment allowed Peasley to punch Fawful into a hole, leading to the land known as the Lava Pits.


Chapter Seven: Peasley vs. Cackletta

Peasley grabbed his Beaniard where Fawful dropped it, and pulled out a trampoline and jumped on it, reaching the grand door, which lead to the throne room. In there was the one and only, CACKLETTA SIN.

“Let’s fight. NOW.”

Cackletta pulled out a dagger and thrust it into Peasley’s right arm, who kicked Cacky in the jaw, spit flying to the ground. Sin increased in size, and many black holes appeared, all moving toward Bean. The heir to the Beanbean Kingdom jumped over several, but fell in one.

Inside were many holes. Peasley quickly attached another extra hookshot head to a string, and fired it at the Cackletta that just appeared. She withdrew, and the hookshot went through all the holes, tieing up poor Peasley (shameless 90’s Spider-Man spoof). He fell into a hole leading to where Sin was, back in the room. She punched Peasley, who pulled out the dagger and stuck it in her left leg, blood pouring out. Cackletta shot blue lightning at the wound, healing it. She then duplicated.

Peasley launched a Beaniard blast at her, leaving a hole in her left hand. She tried to fire a bolt from there, but no luck. She growled, and fired one out of her right hand. Peasley flipped backwards and jumped up spinning, then threw his Beaniard like a boomerang. It collided with Cacky’s jaw, and launched back to Peasley, who grabbed it.

“Okay Cackletta, I know your secret.”

Cackletta’s pupils turned into thin lines. She quickly pulled out the dagger and threw it, but the prince bent down.

“I know you’re the older sister of my mother!”

“That is not to be spoken of, young loser,” Cackletta muttered, launching bats out of her left hand, which was healed by her blue bolt when Bean wasn’t looking. The bats lifted Peasley off of the ground and dropped him down on his back. Cacky picked up her nine millimeter and pointed it at him. But Peasley, still clutching the Beaniard, launched a beam at her right hand, damaging it and knocking the gun onto a spike, hitting the trigger and firing a bullet at her left hand. Now she couldn’t heal.

“Okay, so your dad was stupid, like Daisy’s, and chose the younger girl to rule. Well, don’t blame Queen Bean! She’s not responsible!” Peasley yelled, dodging a kick and firing a flame beam at her.

Cackletta Sin screamed. She burned into ashes, and the ashes blew away. Peasley quickly set up a Micro-Bomb, and fled. He jumped on his bean at the entrance and left.



Prince Peasley Bean jumped down and released a parachute, falling safley with the Beanstar back to Beanbean Castle.

Lady Lima cheered when Peasley arrived. "Please... heal her!" she asked.

"I will," Peasley said, thinking deeply.

I want Queen Bean to heal...

The Beanstar glowed, and a light surrounded the queen as well. Everyone crossed their fingers... and QUEEN BEAN WAS HEALED!!!

"EYA HA HA HA!" Queen Bean laughed. "Thank you, Peasley! You may keep the Beaniard as a reward," she uttered.

Peasley smiled at all the cheers he recieved, and walked to his room.

Popple sat tied up, but then an idea crossed his mind: the switchblade that he could access. He pulled it out and cut through his ropes, jumping into the cannon and blasting towards Cackletta Castle. Any enemy that approached him was stabbed in the head. He finally reached the lair, and saw Cackletta.

"What do you want? I just wasted all my energy to revive myself," Sin growled.

Popple laughed. "I want to form an alliance with you. Together we can conquer the land."

Cackletta smirked. "Hmm... quite interesting."


"Fawful has disappeared, so it is a deal. Beanbean Kingdom will suffer!"

The camera zooms out as we see Cackletta Castle get smaller and smaller, and maniacal laughs fill the sky.

The End

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