"Alright, alright, I know you're all anxious to see the big Perfect Popple movie, but before that you have to see the reviews," said a worker at a theater, The Mushroom Gate Cinema to be exact.
"A true masterpiece. I laughed, I cried, I yelled insults at the villain out loud." - The Goomba Gazette
"Perfect Popple's finest; a crowning moment and a true masterpiece." - The Mushroom Weekly
"Are you stalling movies with reviews again?!" asked his boss from outside, in a firm voice.
"No sir!" replied the worker, who then ran off to get back to work. The audience sat eagerly as the view went from a zoomed in version to the screen so you can only see the movie. The movie begins with a scene over Little Fungitown, where Kamek is seen walking down the road. Music plays in the background.
Scene 1: Little Fungitown
The Magikooopa walks the streets carrying a bag of groceries. The first song, called "Everyday Day", begins.
Kamek: It's a just normal average everyday
day!
People: Everyone goes about their normal
way!
Kamek: The day begins like every other!
Popple: I wonder what I'll plunder!
Dr. Clangracklis: Just a shot, I'll
say-
Mushroomer #1: -quickly the pain'll
go away! Ouch!
Popple: Who know's what will fill my
pouch?
People: Everything's right in every
way!
Kamek: On this everyday day!
The Mushroomers are seen going about normal happenings; shopping, cleaning house, watching TV, etc. Popple goes around robbing them, but this is normal in the area.
People: Nothing different, whatsoever!
Kamek: Everything's fine with the weather!
Birdo: Oh everything's normal here
today!
Kamek: The gas station's prices just
had a raise.
Popple: Just like every other day!
People: On this everyday day!
Popple runs by Kamek, bumping into him. Kamek drop his groceries, but quickly catches them before they hit the ground.
Kamek: The children are in school, 911
hard at work!
Cop 1: Hey quit eatin' all the donuts
you jerk!
Cop 2: Hey it's your fault you're not
taking advantage of this perk!
Popple: I sneak in, stuff goes out!
Birdo: Nothing odd is about!
Kamek: We could all deal without-
People: Troubles on this everyday-
All: DDDDAAAAYYYY!!!
Everyone continues their activities. Kamek returns home and puts the things he bought in his refrigerator. Kamek then goes out and sees Popple bent down on one knee in front of Birdo. The two had been serious for almost a year, and Popple has a ring box out. He had actually bought the ring, the first thing he ever bought besides food and games for his Playstation 2. Kamek walks up to the two and sees that Birdo has tears in her eyes and is smiling. Popple stands up, tucks the ring box away, and looks at Kamek. Popple greeted the Magikoopa. "Hello Kamek! I have great news, but I'd prefer to tell you tonight." Kamek had gotten to like Popple since Popple saved his life after the events of Naturally Idiotic Trio 2. Kamek had already guessed what the news was.
Kamek: So there goes the everyday-
All except Popple and Birdo: DDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!
Kamek walks off, back to his home, where he sees someone standing on a carpet outside his house. There, a huge green Pidgit with blood red eyes and one of those Russian hat things sits on a carpet. "Can I help you with something?" the Magikoopa asks.
"As a matter of fact, yes," replies the Pidgit in a deep voice. "Have you seen someone by the name of Popple?"
Kamek nods. "If you want, I'll show you to his house."
"That would be appreciated," the Pidgit
answers. The Magikoopa leads the way for the Pidgit to Popple's house,
a small green one that looks a bit like Kamek's on the outside. Popple
had moved into Little Fungitown a few months earlier. Once the two reach
the house, Kamek walks away and the Pidgit knocks.
Scene 2: Popple and Birdo's House
The door opens with Birdo standing in the doorway. "Hello, who are you?" the dinosaur asks of the strange creature at her door.
"Hello, I am named Popful. I am here to discuss something with Popple. Is he home?" the Pidgit says in a firm but kind voice.
"No, he's at work right now."
"What's he do?" asks Popful, eager to know more about Popple.
"He's a thief," Birdo replies. "You're not working for the government, are you?"
"No, not at all. I used to be a crook myself until I met my first wife. And I still rip off the Beanbean Kingdom while doing my taxes," replies Popful.
"So do we all. Would you like to come in?" Birdo asks.
The Russian Pidgit nods and rides his large carpet in. Once inside, he hops off and sits down in a chair. "You are Birdo, I presume," says Popful quietly.
"Yes, that's me. The same one who was queen of the Mushroom Kingdom for one day," Birdo answers. "What's your relationship with Popple?" she inquires.
"I am-" the Pidgit is cut off by screaming outside. Machinery can also be heard outdoors in the town of Little Fungitown. The two quickly go outside and see a huge bulldozer-like piece of aircraft. A small gray Goomba jumps out onto the land.
"Atteintion zitizeins of ze town ov Lit-el Fungi. Zi am ze ultimate masteir of eveil, Monsieur Lit-el, and I ordeir you all to evacute ze premises in two dayz or I vill bulldozae oveir your bodois vhen I tear ze town down to create Mr. Little's Golf Resourtae and Secreit Opeirationing of Eveil Loca-she-on. Frankenkoopa, show them I mean business!" the Goomba announces to a bewildered town. A large Frankenstein-like Koopa steps out of the bulldozer and jumps high into the air. He slams his fist down on the ground, creating a small earthquake that throws the people of the town fly back a few feet, except for Dr.Clagracklis, who weighs too much and has no feet as he is a giant mutant green half-cyclops/half-Piranha Plant, and Popful, since he can fly with his carpet.
The two villains get back in the vehicle and fly off. The two laugh as they depart. The townspeople meet that night to discuss the matter. This is where the second song of the movie begins, entitled, "What Do You Do?"
Mayor: What do you do when your life's
falling apart?
Kamek: When on the so called dart-
Clangracklis: -board of life?
Mushroomer #2: A day that just can't
go right?
Popple: And it was supposed to be such
a good night?
All: What do you do? What do you do?
Birdo: What do you do when everything
is a mess?
Mushroomer #3: Could this be just another
test?
Kamek: Of all we have in life!
All: What do you do on a night like
tonight?
Kamek: Wait, why worry about a Goomba?
Mayor: Because this one's a real doom-a!
Kamek: That was lame, but all the same,
he is to blame-
Clangracklis: For all the stress for
his wicked game-
Kamek: And evil association?
Popple: What limitations-
Birdo: Don't we have?
All: What do you do? What do you dooooooooooo?
Birdo: Tonight is the night-
Popple: Of the first of major fright?
Kamek: What can we do?
All: What... can... we... DDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOO?!
Kamek: And why do we care? Can't we
just MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE?
The song ends. Kamek follows up by saying, "This whole town is filled with overdramatic people. Why do we keep bursting into song anyway?"
Popple responds, "That's not important right now."
-----
So ends the first part of my summary
of my experience viewing this incredible movie. Check out "The Koopa Leaflet"
tomorrow for more!
Scene 3: Popple's House/Wedding Chappel
Popple stands with Birdo, Kamek, and Popful, talking about the subject of Mr. Little's threat. Popple turns to Popful. "Who are you anyway?" asks the bean thief, looking at the Pidgit curiously. Popful turns toward Kamek and Birdo.
"Can you two please go into another room for a second? I have something to say to Popple." The two do so, and Popful turns back to Popple.
"Popple," he begins, "I am your father."
"That's impossible!" yells Popple fiercely. "You're a Pidgit!"
"Well, your mother happened to have the dominant gene. Had she not, you would most likely have been born a Pidgit," replies Popful solumnly.
"But... she always told me my dad died in a flaming building," Popple says softly.
"She thought I did. I faked my death because I'd frauded my taxes for about 16 years straight," answers Popful firmly, with honesty in his voice.
"If you actually did that-"
"I did," Popful answers.
"-you'd have to be my dad then! I've done the same thing ten years straight! Wait- do you have proof?" Popful responds to the question by holding up DNA testing results. Popple and Popful stare at each other for a minute, but then the door comes open and Kamek and Birdo fall to the ground.
"Ow," states Kamek. "Next time I'll try spying through the window."
"I agree," Birdo answers Kamek.
"You two really know how to mess up an emotional moment," Popple says to his friend and fiance. The four laugh. Little do they know that a gray Goomba sits in the window, coming up with a plan to make himself go from just conquerer low to really truely evil low...
A few days later, Popple and Birdo proceed with their plans and get prepared for their marriage. They invite plenty of their fans from Little Fungi Town, and even Croco manages to stop by via the magic of plot holes, since at the time he is on Earth searching for Atlantis. So, they are prepared for the marriage, with Popple in his house with several guys (including every Martin Party member but Fang along with Croco and a few others) and Birdo in a friend's house with several girls (one of which is Fang). Popple is nervous, and with good reason. "I can't believe I'm marrying Birdo," Popple tells his friends. "I don't think I'll be able to go through with it."
"Don't worry," Croco says. "Just as sure as I managed to sneak off on Kent C. and the Crooks and Tatanga, you'll be fine."
"Who is the best man, anyway?" Kamek asks.
"You," Popple replies.
"Ah, great, I'll have to go get my suit." Kamek disappears and reappears in a suit... which looks rather odd with his hat.
A few hours later, the marriage gets underway. Obviously Croco sits on the side of the groom, because you don't tend to be friends with somebody you abducted and later tried to kill. But the matters of an alligator who is completely butchering continuality just for completion's sake are of no consequence to us, as the climatic wedding is about to commence. Birdo walks down with a male blue Birdo, obviously her dad. After a long march to "Here Comes the Bride", the two finally reach the alter. Popple comes down shortly after and so does everyone else who has some role in the wedding. The wedding goes off without a hitch; however, the reception is a different story. Just as Popple and Birdo are about to have some of the cake, a large Koopa-like monster jumps into the building through the roof, grabs Birdo, and runs off. A familiar voice is heard above.
"I haf now gone from vannabee evil to pure evil! Moihoihoi!" All attending see a helicopter up above hanging high in the sky. Mr. Little, Frankenkoopa, and Birdo stand in the doorway... Well, Birdo's actually being held in the doorway by Frankenkoopa, but still, you get the point. Kamek whistles, bringing his broom to him, and he and the groom jump onto it and give chase to the helicopter. Shockingly, they're able to catch up and actually manage to make it to Mr. Little's castle.
"Wow, the heroes NEVER catch up on the first try!" Popple says to his best man. The two walk inside and gasp upon seeing the interior of the castle.
"Wow, I've got to find out who his interior decorator is," the Magikoopa says upon arrival. The castle is gigantic, with ornate trim along the walls and a very nice dark red color that not only adds to the palace's evil theme, but also pulls the look together and gives the building a homely feel. The two friends walk through the castle, looking for a way to the roof.
"Why are we looking for the roof?" Kamek asks while they are searching.
"Well, it's simple," Popple replies. "After all, when's the last time you saw the main baddie hide in the basement?"
"This is an interesting point." The two walk through the large building, looking around, until they find a set of steps. They proceed to go up them.
"I'm just wondering how this is going to end up preventing him from bulldozing over Lil' Fungi Town," the bean who was just got married says.
"Hard to say, Popple. Hard to say."
Eventually the two reach the roof of the castle and see who else but Mr. Little, Birdo, and Frankenkoopa.
"I told you," Popple says. He then leaps back into the stance of the Martial Arts-style Crane. This involves someone standing on one leg with both arms up and bent at the shoulders and hands. In a way, Popple looks like a real dork.
"Things are about to get interesting, I see." The Magikoopa leaps back and pulls out his wand. Frankenkoopa charges him. As the large Frankenstein-like Koopa charges, Kamek jumps over him, causing him to run right off the castle... which is in the sky, so...
"Moi didn't see zis coming!"
Popple leaps forward and kicks the Goomba, who is sent flying backwards. Popple jumps at him and is about to kick him off when Mr. Little jumps over him (don't ask how) and kicks Kamek off of the castle.
"First you kidnap my wife, then you possibly kill my best friend?! ARGH!!!" The bean leaps at the Goomba and begins mercilessly beating him. "I'm going to kill you, and I'll enjoy it!"
The Goomba manages to slide out from under Popple and begins trying to run away. Popple turns and chases after the Goomba, who is at the edge of the castle now. Mr. Little jumps and kicks Popple off!
"Moihoihoihoihoihoihoihoihoi!!!"
Ah, here it is! The finale of our in-depth
coverage of this extraordinary movie!
------------
Scene 4
Location: Monsieur Petite Castiel
Song: "Mr. Little"
A military style drum-beat begins to fill the area, severely confusing Birdo, though Mr. Little pays no mind to it. He begins stepping in a Sgt. Slaughter-like way... or as close to that as a Goomba can get, anyway.
Little:
Vhen I stairted out zis quiest
I knew I vasn't ze beist
Villain arouind in toiwn
But now moi stands tall
Bow down to moi, all
Bow down to Mr. Little
Mr. Little moy be petite
But he's a goi vou just cain't beat
Moi's a guy vou don't vant to meet
Monsieur Petite
Mr. Little!
Although moi may be small
In the end, moi stands tall
Above you all
In the en' moi always win
Mr. Little!
Mr. Little moy be petite
But he's a goi vou just cain't beat
Moi's a guy you don't vant to meet
Monsieur Petite
The singing and dancing continues with Mr. Little looking at Birdo. He fails to see a figure rising behind him. Upon turning around, he sees... Kamek!
Kamek:
Mr. Little!
The name of all good villains do you
belittle!
You're a weak small little guy
And your plans, they all just fry!
Mr. Little!
Mr. Little:
Monsieur Petite
Just can't be beat!
Now prepare to meet
Your maker
I'm a real back-breaker
Mr. Little!
Mr. Little moy be petite
But he's a goi vou just cain't beat
Moi's a guy you don't vant to meet
Monsieur Petite!
Kamek:
Mr. Little!
You're just plain piti'l!
You can't even see me
Much less beat me
Mr. Little!
Kamek stomps on Mr. Little as the music ends. Mr. Little resizes and then jumps onto Kamek, biting him repeatedly before Kamek jumps onto his side, again flattening the Goomba, who walks away and reinflates again before rushing back. Kamek sighs and pulls out his wand, beginning to smack the Goomba with it repeatedly. Suddenly a clawed hand reaches over the side of the building, pulling itself up to reveal Frankenkoopa.
"Franikenkooipa! About toime! Finish zis peist."
The Koopa growls in response and leaps at the Magikoopa, jumping on him ferociously before beginning to choke. Kamek manages to get his hand on his wand, firing a blast from it that sends Frankenkoopa flying onto- you guessed it- Mr. Little.
"Argh! Moi hates zis hoirrable condition of being ze Goomba."
Frankenkoopa leaps at Kamek before being shot by... an egg. Kamek, taking advantage of the opportunity Birdo gave him, steps on Mr. Little and then uses his claws to slash her free. Once free, Birdo fires an egg at the ground at Mr. Little's feet, launching him into the air. Another egg is then fired by the dino, sending the Goomba flying into his henchman, with both being knocked from the top of the building.
"This is a great victory, but... where's Popple?"
"I'm sure he'll be fine."
A show-tune-y riff begins playing.
Song: I'm Sure He'll Be Fine
Kamek:
I'm sure Popple'll be okay
The guy has a very resilient way
And I doubt that that will change today
I'm sure he'll be fine!
Birdo:
Are you sure?
Kamek:
Trust me, it's happened before
I'm sure he'll be fine
Everything will be devine
'Cause I'm sure he'll be fine!
Birdo:
I dunno, I just think the worst
Kamek:
It seems to me like a bride's curse
I guess we'll have to order a hearse
Birdo:
Hey, don't joke, you'll make it worse!
Kamek:
Everything will be fine!
Trust me, it's happened before
I'm sure he'll be fine
Everything will be devine
'Cause I'm sure he'll be fine!
Trust me, it's happened before
I'm sure he'll be fine
Everything will be devine
'Cause I'm sure he'll be fine!
Scene 5
Location: Hospital
Birdo, Kamek, and Popful sit in a hospital waiting room.
"I thought you were sure."
"Well, I was. How was I supposed to know that Frankenkoopa'd be smart enough to beat him senseless before coming up?"
"Well, I suppose it could be worse," says Birdo.
"How's that?" asks Popful, who is sitting between the two.
"Well, he could be dead instead of in a coma..." says Kamek sternly.
"Good point."
Dr. Clangrackolus (Remember him? He's that guy from the first part.) comes into the room.
"H-how is he?" the Bean-currently-in-a-coma's wife asks of the doctor, fighting back tears.
"Doesn't look good. Apparently he suffered a head injury from Frankenkoopa. I'm not sure if there's a chance of recovery."
"Give me three years," Birdo says to the doctor, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Give me three years, and I'll have him awake and just as he was."
"We will. However, I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you."
Clangrackolus leaves the room. Birdo
begins sobbing loudly, as does Popful. Kamek sniffles a bit, but holds
in tears.
------------
So ends our coverage! This is a great movie, but the sad part is is that it is a true story that went into production at MartPar Studios just a few weeks after the event occured. It's been two years; can Birdo succeed? Let's hope so. Let's hope so.
The End
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