One day in Mushroom Kingdom, Mario came home looking very tired, drenched in sweat, and smelling like a wet dog. Luigi, who was reading the Mushroom Monthly, took a sniff of the unbearable smell that was burning his nostrils.
"Ugggggggghhhhhhhh!!!" Luigi yelled in disgust, followed by a gag.
"What?" Mario said.
"You smell like a wet dog, like the narrator said earlier."
"Really? *sniffs* I think it's low tide."
"What have you been doing?!" Luigi demanded, waving his hand over his muffin-like nose. "And don't say exercising, because I'll know you're lying right off the bat!"
"Ok." Mario pulled a bat from his shoe, which he had squished eariler inside one of the doomships. Mario threw the bat out the window. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"Can you tell my next lie?"
"Man, you're stupid. And that wasn't even remotely funny!"
"Well would a stupid person stop a thousand-strong army invasion force?"
"Probably you just confused them and they combusted! I had to do all sorts of work, finishing YOUR projects, doing YOUR chores, doing YOUR jobs from the customers that called, doing..."
Two hours pass while Mario tuned out Luigi and what he had done.
"..And where's my package you promised to pick up at Toad Town? And another thing... and another thing... blah, blah, blah, dribble, dribble?! (Why are you so lazy?!)
Mario slept and a sleep bubble came out of his mouth, which get bigger and smaller with his loud snoring. Luigi somehow didn't notice Mario was sleeping, even though Mario's snoring really annoys Luigi at night. Another two hours passed by.
"And don't you forget that... hey, HEY! WAKE UP YOU PIECE OF FILTH!!!"
"Whaaa?" (Pop, splat.) The sleep bubble from Mario's mouth popped and Mario's drool spalltered all over Luigi's face.
"Yuck!" Luigi yelled in disgust as he wiped the drool off with a handkerchief he pulled from his back pocket."
"Man Luigi," Mario said, "you nag more than Peach! I work too, I wasn't here to do every thing you said in the past four hours, because I was saving yours and everyone else's butts from 50 doomships and 1,000 of Bowser's troops! And I was sleeping because it's like, 1:00 AM!"
"If I recall," Luigi said as he put the handkerchief down the laundry chute, "you left at 6:00 PM and I was telling you things to do at 11:00 AM earlier and you just sat there and said you'll do it tomorrow!"
"Hehe..." Mario chuckled.
"You have no idea what it's like being me!"
"Oh yeah, well being me isn't exactly a walk in the park either!"
"Pffftt, yeah right!"
"Hey," Mario said smugly as a lightbulb appeared over his head, "what you say we make a bet on it?"
"On what?"
"Switching places! Tomorrow, er... I mean today as soon as we wake up, from the time we're supposed to wake up as the other, we'll switch places. YOU'LL be Mario Mario and I'LL be Luigi Mario. Whoever cracks before the day ends loses."
"And what do I get if I win?" Luigi said, smirking.
"Nothing, but the LOSER," Mario said as he did the Loser "L" sign at Luigi with his hand, "has to clean EVERYONE'S toilets in the Mushroom Kingdom! And if no one cracks the one who did more actions based on the other guy wins, so be sure to keep count."
"Niiiiccceee, but I hope you have your toilet brush ready tomorrow, and I hope you have a lot of Clorox!"
Luigi and Mario went to their bedrooms and Luigi took the lightbulb from Mario's head and replaced the lamp he told Mario to fix.
They both dreamed about the other one washing port-a-potties and the port-a-potty tumbling, covering their brother in feces. Then they laughed at their rival while taking pictures, while the other one cried.
"Hehe..." they both thought at the same
time. "It's gonna be a loooooong day for that lousy brother of mine..."
At 6:00 AM Luigi's alarm clock went off and Mario woke up without struggling and stretched as soon as he got on his feet.
"Ahhh..." Mario said with relief in Luigi's voice, "Another wonderful day! The Sun is shining like the moon at night, the birds are singing like a thousand quire angles. It's gonna be a great day!"
Mario went to the restroom and used the shower for a few minutes and then he went to Luigi's closet and got out one of those ropes you pull on to look thinner. It took Mario an hour while he duplicated that short movie preview from "The Incredibles", the one in which the dad is trying to wear his belt but couldn't because he's a little chubby, except Mario didn't break the rope. Then he put on 50 pairs of socks (I don't know how they fit in Luigi's shoes either) to make himself look as tall Luigi as he changed into Luigi's clothes. Then he wore a Luigi mask, which he bought by mail a few days ago.
"There!" Mario said as he looked at himself in the mirror. "I totally look like Luigi! Uhhh... I mean, (in Luigi's voice) there! As clean as clean can be!"
Mario then walked awkwardly down the stairs, because he thought that Luigi was a geek for the whole cleaning hobby, and geeks walk awkwardly, right? Mario then walked in the kitchen to eat breakfast and went to the cabinet to pull out a box of Raisin Bran, Luigi's spoon, and Luigi's cereal bowl (Luigi doesn't want to share utensils with Mario, and I can't blame him), then he went to the fridge for milk. Mario then poured the cereal and milk and started eating the cold cereal.
"Ewww..." thought Mario, trying to hold a 'yucky face'. "How does Luigi like this stuff?"
Later that morning Mario's alarm clock went off at 10:00 AM. Luigi smashed the alarm clock with Mario's hammer and said, "Just five more minutes, Mom..."
Even later that morning, Luigi woke up at 10:30 AM. Luigi groaned and got up in a sitting position on Mario's bed and yawned in Mario's voice, "Cheese..." He dragged his feet to the bathroom and came out ten minutes later, thinking with a strained face looking like he wass gonna combust, "Must... copy... dirty habits. Must... resist... cleaning. Can't... lose... bet..." Then he went to Mario's room and changed into Mario's clothes, got a pillow and put it in his shirt, and got out a Mario mask (which he also mail-ordered four days ago). Then Luigi got a Thwomp to squish him a bit for Mario's shortness and put the Mario mask on. "There!" Luigi said as he looked at himself in the mirror, "I totally look like Mario! Uhhh... I mean, (in Mario's Voice) cheese pasta! Sausage juice pancakes! (All done! Now for breakfast!)
Luigi ran into the hallway and then down the stairs while tripping on every step on the stairs. Next he arrived in the kitchen and said, "It's-a me! Mario!"
"Mario!" Mario shouted. "You're late for breakfast again!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever..." Luigi said. "So what can I eat?"
"*sigh* What do you want?"
"Cheese omelette."
"*ahem*"
"Cheese omelette, PLEASE."
"Thank you."
After eating breakfast, Luigi got a phone call we can't hear, because the speaking was fast nonsense.
"Mario!" Mario yelled. "Clean your dishes!"
"I hate to, but can't," Luigi responded. "I got to fight Bowser as the army from yesterday was a diversion and he's hiding in the castle with Peach as a hostage!"
"Well, clean them when you get back."
"Whatever."
Luigi dashed out the door and Mario walked to the couch and turned on the TV, thinking, "Whoo! I finally got an excuse to take a break. Wait a minute, Luigi sees the littlest of messes. If I don't do his daily cleanup, I'll lose the bet!" So Mario turned off the TV and dashed to the kitchen to the counter under the sink.
"Darn!" Mario said. "Out of cleaning utensils! And how am I going to clean those dirty windows without Nimbex?"
So Mario dashed out and locked the door to go to Toad Town for cleaning utensils. Mario then bumped into Jonathan, the storeowner.
"Hey, watch it!" Jonathan angrily yelled. "Oh! Sorry Luigi! I thought you were a clumsy oaf like your doofus brother Mario!"
"Doofus!" Mario thought. "What?! Luigi could be tracking me and I don't even know it like that pool party where I accidentally farted in the pool and Luigi showed who did it via video camera. I can't take any chances!"
"Yeah!" Mario said aloud. "The guy trips on the first step!"
Mario and Jonathan laughed.
"So Luigi," Jonathan said, "ran out of Nimbex again?"
"Yep," Mario replied.
"Don't worry, I got a new shipment today."
"Yaaayyyy! Let's go!"
While Mario and Jonathan went to Jonathan's Junk of Usefulness, Luigi was skipping to Peach's Castle singing, "I wish I was a Oscar Mayer... uh... what's after Mayer? I'll practice on my ABC's later..." Luigi burst thorough the castle and found Bowser behind a skinny tree in the Main Hall.
"Gee... I wonder where he's hiding," Luigi thought sarcastically. Luigi jumped and landed on Bowser, which turned out to be a dummy. "Huh?" Luigi thought as he looked at the cracked, wooden replica of Bowser. "Where is..."
Before Luigi finished his thought, Bowser ground-pounded from the third floor, squishing Luigi flatter than a Thwomp can.
"Ohhh..." Luigi moaned.
"So Mario, I guess-" Bowser was interrupted by Luigi.
"If you say that 'dummy' joke, I'm so gonna kill you..."
"Sorry, no time. I got to play Frisbee now with my kids."
"Frisbee?"
Bowser picked up and threw Luigi to Lemmy, who threw to Larry, who threw to Iggy, who threw... hmm... this is gonna take a while so let's see how Mario is doing.
"For the last time," Jonathan said, "I cleaned this morning! So stop cleaning my store!"
"But look at that spot on your counter!" Mario said in a surprised voice.
"What spot?"
"Here, I'll show you!" Mario got out Luigi's magnifying glass and zoomed it in infinite focus, which takes a while, even thought the loading time is 0.000001 mph less than the speed of light. Not done? Let's check with Luigi.
"HELP!!!" Luigi yelled as he ran down the hallway.
"You had to throw him so hard, Roy!" Larry said. "Not only did our game ended, we have to catch him again or it's back to the dungeon, AGAIN!"
"Shut up and keep running ya little wuss!" Roy said.
Luigi was running until he tripped over a rope and a chandelier fall on Larry and Roy, which accidentally activated Larry's wand, which made Bowser and his kids as small as atoms.
".................." Bowser said? Wow! Even I can't hear it and I'm the author!
"Hey! I did it! It wasn't so hard and I wasn't even afraid!" Luigi said to himself with confidence.
"Mario!"
"Yaaa!" Luigi yelled and calmed down as he recognized the voice as Peach's voice.
"You saved me again!"
Peach kissed Luigi.
Super Mario 64: "Got a star!" music plays. "Here we go!" Luigi yellsd as he stupidly spun around for no reason whatsoever and did a peace sign when he stopped spinning. Then the camera started to go far away and through the castle walls.
"Wait!" Luigi said. "Come back, camera! The story isn't even over yet!"
The camera returned to the position where it was before it left.
"That's better!"
"Mario!" Peach yelled, surprised. "How did you get so tall?" Apparently when Luigi recovered from the squishing he sprouted back to his full size.
"Uhh... I got a growth spurt?"
"Gee, you're a little too old to get a growth spurt, but whatever! Hey! How's about we celebrate since Bowser won't attack for sometime!"
"Whatever, as long there's gonna be food."
Let's check with Mario.
"See!" Mario said. "I told you there was a stain! Jonathan?"
Jonathan had been sleeping on the floor for the past hour due to the boredom of waiting on the magnifier.
"Must've left, oh well!" Mario cleaned the spot, put the magnifying glass back in his pocket, took a box Nimbex, and put the money on the counter.
"A party! A party! Oh wow!" the people of Toad Town shouted as they skipped along to Peach's castle like the stereotypical version of little schoolgirls from the 1950s.
"A party? Oh wow! I guess a little detour wouldn't hurt..." Mario then followed the residents to the party at Peach's castle.
Later at the party, which was outside in the backyard of the castle, there were pink balloons floating with the wind, tied to various objects. There was an orchestra playing the national song of Mushroom Kingdom. There were also streamers, and banners saying "Watch your step! If you're lucky, you could step on Bowser!" (Gee, how did all that fit in a banner?) There were residents stomping on the ground trying to kill Bowser, but they didnn't realize he was still in the castle trying to find Larry and Roy. There was also cake, punch, wine, sandwiches, ice cream, and a lot more variety of foods on the tables.
"Attention everyone!" Peach yelled as she hit a wine glass with a spoon. "As you know, we are celebrating Bowser's new size and the fact that his won't be attacking for a very long time..."
"What the... Oh no!" Luigi thought. "Mario's here! I better start acting more than Mario to win!"
"...and furthermore we'd like to thank... Mario?"
Luigi was gone, with just three yellow blinking lines where he should have been. Luigi is soon found eating all the food, and even getting food from peoples' stomachs. "Must... eat... food!" Luigi yelled.
Peach tried to calm everyone down as they panicked and run around in squares, because they thought squares were a better running pattern. Then Peach felt a tug and turned to see Mario cleaning her dress with the Polyguster 3000.
"Luigi! What are you doing?" Peach yelled.
"I'm sucking all those dirty specs off your dress," Mario responded. "A princess has to be clean ya know!"
"Luig... Oof!"
Mario accidentally pulled back, sucking Peach's dress into the vacuum.
"Arrrruuuuugggggghhhhhhhh!!!"
"Oops," Mario said.
After a few hours of panic and destruction, we find Mario and Luigi cleaning port-a-potties while wearing gas masks and radioactive suits.
"Until all of the damage to Peach's dress, which you both caused, is paid for, you're going to have extra plumbing duties," the guard said.
As the guard kept watch with four other guards, Mario and Luigi keep cleaning the toilets.
"Well, this stinks!" Mario said.
"No need to talk like me, Mario." Luigi said in his own voice. "Looks like we both lose this bet, because we both exaggerated at the same time! So we both lost, since we can't tell who messed up first."
"No," Mario said in his own voice as well, "I mean it really stinks! I'm wearing a gas mask and it STILL burns my nostrils!"
Then a guard accidentally leaned on both port-a-potties and they started to tumble down the hill exactly like the previous night's dreams, leaving the guard to lean on air. Mario and Luigi thought, "He may have a suit on, but at least my dream came true!"
The End
By the way, here's a short aftermath on what happened to Bowser.
"Yes!" Bowser said (NOW I hear him!) in the squeakiest, quickest, and high-pitched voice possible (but the voice sounds normal to them, since they're small) as he found Larry and Roy in a tree outside far from Peach's Castle. They managed to get their when Bowser powered up his and his kids' agility. "Now that I got all of the wands, I have enough magic power to make ourselves big again!"
"Yeah!" all of the Koopalings but Lemmy cheered in the same squeaky voice.
"HEY! Where's Lemmy?!"
"Sorry *pant* King Dad," Lemmy said in the same squeaky voice as he rolled his ball up a tree. "Climbing *pant* on a *pant* ball *pant* is not *pant* as easy *pant* as I *pant* thought and WHOOPS!"
Lemmy tripped and accidentally broke an atom in half, causing an atomic explosion and sending everyone far away, while the wands went in different directions.
"LEMMY!!!" Bowser yelled as he flew farther, causing the yell to fade and echo. Then the camera went far away like earlier.
The End of the Aftermath
| If you would like to send some feedback
to the author of this submission, please complete this form.
What's your name?
What's your Email address?
How do you rate this submission?
Does this submission belong in Little
Lemmy's Land?
Would you like to see more from this author? Comments and suggestions:
|
