Lemmy: Welcome to The Apprentice, hosted by me! This is the second week, and this isn't actually Lemmy really, it's just one of his clones. Lemmy's busy playing Paper Mario 2, and is forcing me to host. But, for today you can call me Lemmy. Actually I am technically Lemmy anyway but-
The Camerman, Contestants, Iggy, and Ludwig: SHUT UP!
Kamek: Are you sure you aren't Morton's clone instead?
Lemmy: Um... well, anyway. Let's get on with it! Today we'll deal with the more criminal aspect of business. The two teams will each be given a town at random, and must start a gang war there in order to lower land rates. This week, you all get to choose your own task managers 'cause Lemmy just told me this morning I'd be hosting so I couldn't come up with anyone. Kamek and Syrup cannot be voted for. That Team With Bowser On It votes first. Oh, and you can't vote for yourself either.
Syrup: Tanoomba.
Tanoomba: Dr. D.
Bandit: Tanoomba.
Fawful: Tanoomba.
Bogmire: Donez.
Donez: Tanoomba.
Bowser: That Tweeter doctor guy.
Lemmy: I guess Tanoomba will be task manager for you today. Now, Those Villains That... man, I curse Lemmy for giving them such a long name...
Kamek: Lakitu.
Blizzard: Goombario.
Amanita: Wario.
Roy: Wario.
Lakitu: Goombario.
Wario: Crook B.
Goombario: Lakitu.
Lemmy: A three way tie? Wario, vote again for either Goombario or Lakitu!
Wario: You mean I don't even get a chance?! I got two votes!
Lemmy: Fine! We'll let Tanoomba decide your fate.
Tanoomba: I choose Wario!
Lemmy: Now to open the envelope Ludwig himself made for each team. I don't even know what they are myself.
Lemmy opens an envelope that appears out of nowhere and is at least five times his size, pulling out two small index cards.
Lemmy: That Team With Bowser On It, you get Rogueport. Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Else Remembers, you get Clanstavlania, located along the coast of the Waffle Kingdom.
Kamek: That's perfect! I speak Wafflese!
Lemmy: You have one day. Travel is not provided however, so you must find a way there quickly.
Syrup: But it'd take at least two days to get there by boat!
Lemmy: Well, find a way to manage everything. Go!
Kamek waves his wand, making his team and Ludwig disappear. That Team With Bowser On It rushes outside.
Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Else Remembers
Kamek: This will be cake! And I happen to know of two gangs right in this town.
The team sees a woman approaching.
Wario: Kamek-a, go ask-a her where to find-a the gang hideouts-a!
Kamek runs to the woman.
Kamek: Meeklop guds flonk glairgul dusas! (Smell walrus, lemming of Russian atomic frugal cows!)
Woman: Zank? (What?)
Kamek: Meekrop glockas emeraad gussed flonko. (I will devour your face, sock wearer!)
Woman: Zank?
Kamek: Oh, I give up!
Woman: Either you're crazy or you have serious difficulties speaking our language.
Kamek: You speak English?
Woman: Of course!
The group behind Kamek begins laughing. Kamek pulls up his hat in the back, pulls something out, lays the hat back down, then drinks what he grabbed. He gets 20 sizes larger.
Kamek: You will never speak of this moment!!!
His partners instantly shut up. Kamek shrinks to his regular size.
Goombario: Allow me. Ahem, sorry if I'm a little rusty. Spor? (Can you please enlighten us as to the location of the two gangs which reside in this town? We need to know as we are on a reality show and we must start a gang war in order to lower prices.)
Kamek: I hate you.
That Team With Bowser On It
Syrup: Let's face it. We lose for today too.
Donez: Not neccessarily, for I have the answer! We shall simply use my latest invention to teleport there!
Donez pulls out a weird emerald that's blue. A 'D' has been put on it with a magic marker.
Donez: With this we can use Donez Control!
Syrup: Isn't that just a Chaos Emerald with a D on it?
Tanoomba: Well, it's not like there's any better option. Use it!
Donez: Chao- err, Donez Control!
The team suddenly appears in Rogueport. All but Donez are in the water.
Donez: I needed a good laugh.
Bowser: You're lucky we're in a hurry or I'd be having me duck for dinner!
Donez: I'm not a duck!
Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Else Remembers
Amanita: So, all we'll have to do is send a party of two to handle this, each of us pretending to be members of the other gang? Easy!
Wario: Alright-a, what we will-a do is send-a five-a of us into each group-a, then fake a fight-a.
Goombario: That plan probably won't work... Why not just rip of Grand Theft Auto even more and disguise ourselves as members of one group and kill the leader of the other?
All but Goombario: Too easy.
Wario: So, everyone in?
Goombario: Whatever. It's not like the winner'll be doing anything but updating Lemmy's Land for Lemmy anyway.
Kamek: This has got to be the stupidist plan I've ever heard.
Wario: Are you in-a though-a?
Kamek: Sure, why not? It's not like I can be fired this week anyway, so what's it matter that we'll end up losing?
Wario: So-a, Kamek, me-a, Amanita, Roy-a, and-a Crook B-a will go to the Waffle Irons-a, while you other three-a will go to the Toasters-a.
That Team With Bowser On It
Tanoomba: Alright, this should be a piece of cake. The two groups here are already enemies. All we have to do is get the ball rolling. Doing this should be a piece of cake.
Syrup: How? These two gangs don't exactly just open their doors to people!
Tanoomba: I know. You nine go distract that snail guy. Do not let him or anyone there with him leave the building at all costs.
Donez: Why do I have the feeling this plan is going to make you look like a hero and us look like a bunch of idiots?
Tanoomba: It probably will, depending on how you keep them from leaving.
Tanoomba walks behind a building, and Ishnail walks back out. At least, it looks like him.
Tanoomba: Get going!
Tanoomba's teammates walk off spitefully.
Tanoomba: You'll thank me!
Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Else Remembers
Amanita: I know the Waffle Irons have an odd dress code, but can I please SKIP THE STUPID SKIRT?!
Kamek: I think it's a kilt.
Wario: No-a, I'm-a pretty sure-a it's a skirt-a.
Crook B: I have my face hidden and none of you know my real name, so it's not like it matters one way or the other to me. I do wish we could just get this done though. Plus, all of you are wearing one too, so...
Roy: I can't believe we're wearing skirts! Skirts of all things!!!
Meanwhile Iggy is watching through the window and cackling while talking to Doopliss.
Iggy: I can't believe they actually fell for that being the dress code! I guess you win the bet.
Iggy hands a small bag of coin to Doopliss. Doopliss turns toward the camera.
Doopliss: We're on TV, right?
Iggy: We will be when this is aired...
Doopliss: Good. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Doopliss and this is my first appearence in Lemmy's Land. I would like to encourage all of you out there to kindly use me in any submission you can except Scribbles unless I'm not stupid in them. Thank you.
An audience appears, pelts Doopliss with cans, then disappears along with Doopliss.
Iggy: Um... okay. Yeah...
That Team With Bowser On It
Fawful: I am having an ideaness! Let us be in the blocking of his doorness with a box which is having largeness!
Syrup: We'd have to take out that Pierre freak first, and anyone else who happens to be standing nearby.
Fawful: Then what is being your idea?
Syrup: All we'll need to do is go in and beat them senseless!
Ludwig: Vell, zis seems vike it is going novhere.
Fawful: I am in the saying of blocking the doorness!
Syrup: Beat them!
Fawful: Block!
Syrup: Beating!
Donez: Will you two shut up?! I'm trying to think. Why don't we try going in and talking to them about why they should attack the Piantas?
Bogmire: That's way too logical a solution. What we'll do is go in and act like some idiotic entertainers.
All but Bogmire: No!
Later, the eight are seen inside the house tap dancing. They stop and do a bunch of weird cartwheels. Ludwig is laying on the floor laughing that insane laugh of his.
Ishnail: Who are you freaks again?
Syrup: We're the... um... uh...
Bogmire: Entertainment!
Syrup: I swear, I will hunt down any of you who says anything about me doin' this.
The 8 begin dancing again. All of them are tap dancing, except Fawful who for some reason is dancing disco.
Ishnail: ...
Those Villains That... Blah Blah Blah, You Know By Now Hopefully
Toaster Gang Leader: You have learned well, three short ones.
Mr. Blizzard: I'm not short.
TGL: Whatever. Now, you three are to go over to the Waffle Iron gang's HQ, get past the security blocking the building, and make an offering of a waffle to their leader to finally establish peace.
Blizzard, Lakitu, and Goombario: What?!
TGL: Yes. The guards are for the police, who believe we two gangs are involved in illegal activities. Do this and we will make you three rich.
Lakitu: I suppose I could stand to get rich off doing no real work instead of handling all of Lemmy's editing...
Blizzard: Editing? He's probably going to have us torture Roy. I heard a rumor started by someone that Larry paid Lemmy to get the Sports Hall for him...
Meanwhile...
Iggy: I wonder if anyone's currently mentioning that rumor I started...
That Team With Bowser On It
Tanoomba walks into the Pianta Arcade in the form of Ishnail. Inside, he sees the (former) Don Pianta.
Tanoomba: Ha! Take this, you old bat!
Tanoomba jumps on Don Pianta and begins beating him senseless. He then grabs a can of spray pain from nowhere and writes "Ishnail wuz hear" on all of the walls. He walks out. A Pianta runs out after him.
Pianta: Why do youse attack da former don?
Tanoomba: FORMER?!
Pianta: I thought you was constantly spying on us, snail. Frankie is da new don of da Pianta Syndicate.
Tanoomba: Great...
Tanoomba runs off. The Pianta turns, then realizes he just let the guy who beat up his former boss get away.
Pianta: Get back here, youse!
The Pianta chases after Tanoomba.
Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Remembers
Waffle Iron Gang Leader: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kamek: I will hunt down that member who told us this was the dress code... they will suffer!
Roy: Yeah!
Amanita: Really!
Wario: Oh yeah-a!
Crook B: Whatever, can we get to the war-waging with the Toasters now?
WIGL: War? Oh, no no no. We and the Toasters are peaceful gangs dedicated to bringing the Waffle Kingdom together in harmony.
Wario: We-a lose-a.
Iggy meanwhile is still laughing about the skirts, Doopliss is still buried under a pile of cans, and Goombario is still waiting for the story "University of Goom" to begin.
Goombario: You aren't supposed to mention that yet!
That Team With Bowser On It
Bowser: Argh! That's it! I, the great king of idiots who talk to posters... I mean, the great king of Koopas, am SICK of acting like a moron!!!
Syrup: Aren't you one, though?
Bowser: That's beside the- hey!
Syrup: Ye be so gullible...
Bowser: YAH!
Bowser lunges at Syrup, who leaps back. The two begin fighting.
Ishnail: Hey, you guys can be entertaining after all...
Meanwhile, Tanoomba is being severely beaten by several members of the Pianta Syndicate, including Don Pianta himself, Frankie, and Francesca. After several minutes, the group backs up, leaving Tanoomba laying there in pain.
Pianta: Now let's charge their area!
The group runs off. Tanoomba turns back to normal.
Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Remembers
WIGL: It is good to meet you three newest members of the Toaster Gang. You are excellent to get in here on the first try.
Fawful: I am thanking you.
Lakitu and Blizzard: What he said.
The leader of the group pays the three, then warp pipes open under both helpers and teams, taking them back to Lemmy's office.
In Lemmy's Office
Lemmy: Welcome back. Iggy, how did Those Villains Nintendo Forgot About But Everyone Remembers do?
Iggy: They made things better between two groups there.
Lakitu: We lose.
Fawful: I am agreeing.
Lemmy: How about yours, Ludwig?
Ludwig: Well, all of them but Tanoomba did stupid dance routines and argued while Tanoomba set up a huge gang war between the two groups with his powers.
Lemmy: I don't even have to consider who won this. That Team With Bowser On It, come get your prizes: Donkey Konga!
Most of the members go to get theirs very slowly and disappointingly, but Donez and Syrup both rush up, grab theirs, and leave. The rest of the team grabs theirs and leaves.
Lemmy: Now, Wario, choose two people to go with you to Lemmy's Life. You can't pick Kamek because he got immunity last week.
Wario: I-a pick-a Fawful-a and-a Lakitu.
The rest of the team leaves. All of those remaining in the room go to Lemmy's Life.
Lemmy's Life
Lemmy: So, Wario, why shouldn't you be fired?
Wario: These two are-a the ones who-a improved relations-a.
Lemmy: True, but you are the one who assigned them to groups which were already getting along. There were other gangs in the area, you know!
Wario: I know-a.
Lemmy: Fawful, why shouldn't you be kicked out?
Fawful: I am being an over-ratinged characterness who is being overuseded!
Lemmy: Um... okay. How about you, Lakitu?
Lakitu: I have a good head on me, and have what it takes to work as your, err, the guy you're a clone of's assistant.
Lemmy: Good points by all... except Fawful... I think. Wario... you're fine, for now. Fawful, you're fired!
The other two leave.
Fawful: Can I be in the having of your Gamecubeness?
Lemmy: Sure, just go!
Fawful leaves.
Lemmy: Good thing I'm just a clone!