The Super Chef Show

By Double D

A bunch of people are interviewing Tayce T, taking notes.

Tayce T: Frying pans? I only use Stainless Steel.

Crowd: Stainless… Steel… *scribble scribble*

Gourmet Guy: Tayce T! Get over here! We’re starting!

Tayce T: Keep your blubber on! (to crowd) See ya later…

Tayce T. winks at them all. They faint. Tayce T goes to her stage area.

Gourmet Guy: Welcome, everyone, to Day 3, the exciting conclusion to the Super Chef Show! The show where culinary masters cook off and there are lots of cheesy commercial breaks! Anybody can win, and nobody is out of contention! Since this is our final episode, we have something special! Before we start the show, we will have a quick interview by me of all contestants! Plus, right now, the first person to call in will receive a complementary cookbook autographed by Chef Torte!

Gourmet Guy: Uh, I mean Tayce T!

Phones ring all over the studio.

Gourmet Guy: Just kidding!

Meanwhile, in Peach’s Castle…

Peach: How dare they! Remind me to tax Gourmet Guy double this year.

Back at the show…

Gourmet Guy: So, we’re about ready to start, but first, a word from you-know-the-drill.

Toad: At Star-Mart, we’re rolling back prices all over the place! NO! NOT OVER MY CAR!

Annoyed Voice: We have everything you need. Need a few Shrooms for dinner tonight? We’ve got it.

A picture of a long row of fresh Mushrooms is shown.

Voice: Need a new hat to keep up with the latest fashion? We’ve got it.

A picture of Mushroom caps hanging on racks is shown.

Voice: Need an authentic fake Mario Cap to keep the kids quiet? We’ve got it.

A picture of a baby Toad wearing a Mario Cap much too big for him is shown.

Voice: We always have friendly workers ready to help.

Customer: Hey. You. Could you help me get that blender on the top shelf please?

Worker: Go away.

Toad: (with an annoyed face and voice) So come to Star-Mart. Yeah.

Confetti falls. In the background, you can see Popple driving off with Toad’s smashed car.


Gourmet Guy: Alright, time for our interviews! We’ll start with Apprentice!

Gourmet Guy: Apprentice, do you think you can win? There isn’t much chance, but you have been getting better.

Apprentice: Yeah, I can. I’ve got to acknowledge that the others are all good cooks, but I can do it. Chef Torte might be mad, but I’m going to try my best, and if I win, great. If I lose, oh well. But I know I can.

Gourmet Guy: If you won it all, what would you do with the coins?

Apprentice: Probably actually start my own small business. Then people would actually call me by my first name, which is-


Gourmet Guy: Fascinating! Well, I would talk to you more, but I have to get going.

Gourmet Guy: Chef Torte, on a scale of 1-10, what do you think your odds are of winning the show?

Chef Torte: Eight, definitely. Moi’s worthless Apprentice has been pretty good, but he cannot vin. Toce T. isn’t bad, but moi’s cooking is much too good to be beaten by a novice. Zat haggy Mushroomer vith ze yellow cap and souzern accent, a.k.a. Tayce T, has no chance, and Zess T. iz just plain old not skillful enough.

Gourmet Guy: If you won, what would you do with the money?

Chef Torte: I’D BUILD A VORLD EMPIRE! I mean, start a new company for frozen food. Every package vould have moi’s face on it…

Gourmet Guy: You still haven’t gotten first yet, Toce T, and yet you're in second. I must admit, you do have good cooking (I would know), but can your food impress me enough to win the show?

Toce T: Oh, I believe so. *gives Gourmet Guy a sly grin* I’ve won the cooking contest two years in a row, and pretty soon it will be three. I even won a regional contest. If everybody has been that impressed by my home cooking, then I think I can whip up something good enough to eclipse even the better-known chefs.

Gourmet Guy: If you happen to win, what would you do with the 10,000 coins?

Toce T: Probably start my own restaurant. People would know me from this show, and pretty soon I’d have all the money I need and a well-know eatery.

Gourmet Guy: Zess T, you’re in 3rd place. What can you do to take 1st from your sister?

Zess T: I just have more skills. I underestimated her in the past (which is saying something), but no more! Time to pay her back for bossing me around as a girl!

Gourmet Guy: If you did just that, how would you spend the cash?

Zess T: I would move out of that crummy Rogueport and start my own chain of restaurants! Then my name would actually be out there in public!

Gourmet Guy: Tayce T, you are in 1st place. I’m sure everyone is jealous and eager to try and take that spot from you. How can you prevent this?

Tayce T: Why, hon, just by doin’ what I’ve done before! Everybody thinks they’re good, but all I have to do is do well in this next contest and it’s over.

Gourmet Guy: If you hold on and win the show, what will you do with the prize money?

Tayce T: Well, I would say start a restaurant or something like that, but I already have one, so I’d buy a big vacation home in the country!

Gourmet Guy: Well, that’s it for the interviews!

Gourmet Guy: So, now we’re back, you know the drill. You don’t? Fine. Here’s the rankings.

Tayce T: 14
Toce T: 13
Zess T: 12
Chef Torte: 11
Apprentice: 10

Gourmet Guy: Alrighty! Time for the contest I’ve been waiting for all show! It’s time for Most Delicious Dessert! Give my sweet tooth something to be happy about! Go!

In Kitchen 1…

Chef Torte: Ah, finally! I have ze opportunity to make moi’s specialty: Bundt! Zis time I vill not put in too much yeast!

Chef Torte gets out a bowl and mixes flour, food coloring, milk, eggs, sugar, and assorted juices. After mixing it he adds one cup of yeast, carefully measuring it, and puts it in the oven.

In Kitchen 2…

Apprentice: Come on, think! What can I prepare that will make Gourmet Guy give me an easy win? Come on…

Apprentice sits there, trying to think, when an open drawer falls out, hitting the refrigerator door, which swings open. Apprentice looks and sees ice cubes and a bottle of cream. He smiles and starts pulling ingredients out.

In Kitchen 3…

Tayce T: Hmm, I would make a Cake, but I’m out of flour!

Tayce T. calls Gourmet Guy to have him deliver more flour, but he tells her that they are out of flour in her room and that it is against the rules to get supplies from another participant. Tayce T. hangs up. She gets out a bowl, a Lemon, and Cake Mix, frowning.

In Kitchen 4…

Zess T: Hmm, I feel like making a cookie, and I know a good recipe! Tayce is goin’ down!

Zess T. puts Cake Mix in a bowl and slowly adds Maple Syrup, stirring as she goes. She bakes it and takes it out.

In Kitchen 5…

Toce T: Hmm, I’ve seen plenty of cooking shows on this one, so it should be pretty easy.

Toce T. gets a Cake Mix and a Red Berry, crushes the Red Berry, and stirs it in with the Cake Mix. After baking, she takes the Big Cookie out.

Back onstage…

Gourmet Guy: Well, I have tasted each dish…

The camera pans over two half eaten cookies, an empty wrapper, a cake with a slice gone, and an empty bowl with the remains of an ice cream sundae.

Gourmet Guy: …and we’ll be back in a minute with the results!

Bowser: Get out of your recliner and get your lazy self over to Shell-Mart! Uh, yeah! (offscreen) We’ve got everything you need, and nothing more!

A picture of a single shelf with shells, food, and tents is shown.

Bowser (offscreen): Actually, I lied. We have other stuff too!

A picture of cheap toys, different-colored shells, and medicine is shown.

Bowser (offscreen): We also have great Customer Service.

Koopa: I want to buy something.

Koopa Employee: No!

The Koopa customer knocks the employee out and runs out the door with a package.

Bowser (offscreen): So get over here now! (onscreen) And tell them King Bowser sent ya or you’ll get beaten up and thrown out. Don’t worry, the next time that happens I’ll dock their paycheck.

Gourmet Guy: And so, we’re back! Time for the results! First place goes to… Apprentice’s ice cream sundae!

Apprentice: Oh yeah!

Gourmet Guy: This was great. I’ve never tasted ice cream like that before. Ever. I guess Apprentice just discovered what he was really good at making. It was thick, rich, loaded with flavor, plus all the toppings were delectable. I knew we had a winner when I tasted this. Second goes to Chef Torte’s Bundt!

Chef Torte: I vill get you for zat, Apprentice! Yeas, you are still moi’s apprentice! Haha!

Gourmet Guy: I must admit, I was wary of this at first, as I know what happened in contest 1. But as soon as I took a bite and it didn’t move, I knew this was getting a top spot. Really wonderful, sugary flavors all mixed together, great icing, and plenty of yummy decorations. It tasted a tad bit dry though. I think Chef Torte didn’t use quite enough yeast… Anyway, third goes to Zess T’s Zess Cookie.

Zess T: I will still win first next contest!

Gourmet Guy: Wow. Great Cookie. Really. This was no little experimental recipe. This tasted like something you would find in the best bakery in town. The reason why this didn’t place better is because, well, it’s only a cookie. You probably wouldn’t find a single cookie on a dessert menu. Fourth is… Toce T’s Big Cookie!

Toce T: Oh well, I’ll do better next time.

Tayce T: Impossible!

Gourmet Guy: Toce T. did pretty well with this. I imagine this is a lot better than most homemade cookies. However, it wasn’t as good as Zess T’s, and I liked Zess T’s recipe slightly better. And Tayce T. What was she thinking with this? This wasn’t a breath mint contest! I mean, a piece of candy? Sure it was pretty good, but we’re looking for gourmet desserts, not little trifles of candy! *huff* Okay. So, here’s the new standings:

Apprentice: 15
Chef Torte: 15
Zess T: 15
Toce T: 15
Tayce T: 15

Gourmet Guy: Wow! How exiting! It’s all coming down the this next contest! We send you to *sigh* Spike for our interview of the first place winner, Apprentice.

Lakilester: How cliché. The last contest determines everything. So, I’m here with Apprentice, who has also now won two contests in a row. Apprentice, this is amazing. You have now accomplished the same feat as Tayce T: winning two back to back. Can you describe your feelings?

Apprentice: Exited, yet wary. Confident, yet anxious. Thankful, yet still hoping. That all describes what’s going on. I am nearly ready to burst at getting first again, but I know the others are all pretty good. I feel ready as ever to take on Torte, but I still have some anxiety over facing my former master. I’m really glad for the win, but I know I still have to win first again to actually win the show, which is what we all came here for.

Lakilester: This must be really great for you. You’ve been in last the whole show, and now are finally tied for first.

Apprentice: First is a great place to be in. Now I just have to keep it.

Lakilester: How do you feel about this last contest?

Apprentice: I’m ready. That’s all.

Lakilester: Geez. Touchy. If you could say one thing about this show, what would it be?

Apprentice: It’s great competition. It’s been really discouraging at times, but it has been fun to participate in.

Lakilester: Well, I would ask more, but I’m out of time (much to your relief, I’m sure). Mallow, take it away.

Mallow: Hello! Yay! I finally got over seeing… I mean what was making me sad! So, Chef Torte, why didn’t you get second?

Chef Torte: Moi’s Apprentice! He iz getting vay too confident! He actually thinks he can beat moi! I tell you, vhen ze show iz oveir, he vill get a beating!

Mallow: Zess T, you got third. Do you think you can beat your *gulp* sister in the end?

Zess T: You’re darn right I can! She may have been cooking longer, but my cooking is way better! WATCH OUT, TAYCE!

Mallow: I know you have good cooking, Toce T. Is it good enough to beat everybody else and win?

Toce T: I think so. I’m glad I made it all the way here and am still in the race. Win or lose, I’m pretty happy.

Mallow: So, Tayce T. *breath*, do you think you can… win?

Tayce T: Yes, I can. I’m going to come out on top, even though I haven’t done so well lately.

Mallow: This is… oh… *face turns green* … ugh. This is Mallow. Get me away from here...

Gourmet Guy: Alright, time for the final contest! It all comes down to this! The winner will be grand champion, winning a place in the Cooking Hall of Fame in Peach’s Castle, 10,000 coins, a cookbook by the best chef to ever live, and a copy of one of the best recent games from Nintendo, Paper Mario 2! And the category for this final showdown is… Free-For-All! Let your true colors shine through and give me the best you can do!

In Kitchen 1…

Chef Torte: Okay! Zis is it! Time to finish zis thing off! I vill make moi’s old favorite from cooking school!

Chef Torte pulls out a spiked pan with a bunch of cool looking stuff on it.

Chef Torte: Whoops. Vrong pan.

Chef Torte takes out a regular frying pan and chops up an Iced Potato. He fries it. Meanwhile, he pulls out some Red Berries, puts them through the juicer, and does the same with Blue Berries, then mixes them together in a glass. He then takes the potatoes off and puts them on a plate. He then broils a Mushroom into Shroom Steak and sets it on the plate, then takes it out with the juice.

In Kitchen 2…

Apprentice: Hmm. I guess I’ll make the best thing I can think of.

Apprentice thinks for a minute, then gets out a bowl. He mixes 1 ½ cups of yeast, orange juice, a cup of sugar, and a few Eggs, then bakes it. He takes the small cake out of the oven, decorates it with chocolate icing, makes some patterns, then brings it out.

In Kitchen 3…

Tayce T: Ha! This will be way too easy.

Tayce T. grabs some Cake Mix and mixes it up. She adds her secret ingredient, Red Berry concentrate, and mixes the whole thing up, adding all the necessary ingredients. She bakes it for a short time, then takes it out. She practically douses the top with icing and berries, then takes it out.

In Kitchen 4…

Zess T: I placed a bet on myself winning! I can’t lose that money!

Zess T. chops up an Ultra Shroom, then adds it to some Cake Mix. She pours the finished mix into small cream horns, and bakes it. She gives it a good sniff, smiling for once, then takes the Shroom Crepe out.

In Kitchen 5…

Toce T: Hmm. Aha!

Toce T. snaps her fingers and gets out ingredients. She steeps a Fire Flower, creating some Spicy Soup, then takes a Snow Bunny out of the refrigerator and drops it in. The thing forms into a cake. She adds some icing. However, as she is mixing icing, a bag of salt spills some into the mix. Toce T. has her back turned and doesn’t notice. She ices the cake and brings it out.

Back onstage…

Gourmet Guy: Well, it’s time for me to taste test the recipes.

Gourmet Guy walks up to Chef Torte’s meal and tries it.

Gourmet Guy: Mmm. Quite elegant. This reminds me of something I had at a banquet a while back…

Gourmet Guy walks up to Apprentice’s mini-cake and eats a slice.

Gourmet Guy: Mmhmm. Very good. Lots of fruit taste.

Gourmet Guy tries some of Zess T’s Shroom Crepe.

Gourmet Guy: Oooh. Not bad. I like the cream, but the Shrooms are just okay.

Gourmet Guy has a bite of Toce T’s Couple’s Cake and quickly spits it out.

Gourmet Guy: Blearg! Yuck! What did you put in this thing, salt?

Toce T. looks back in her kitchen and sees the spilled salt bag. Her face turns pale. Gourmet Guy then tastes Tayce T’s Cake.

Gourmet Guy: Oh… my gosh… This… is… way… too… good! I… can’t… stand… it…

Gourmet Guy goes shooting up, grazing the camera and knocking it over. The image of a Hammer Bro appears.

Hammer Bro: Uh, here’s a BZZZ word from BZZZ our sponsors BZZZ!

Pianta: Are you overstressed? Ready to get away? Then come to the luxurious resort island resort that is Isle Delfino!

A picture of Piantas doing a dance in front of the statue in Delfino Plaza is shown.

Pianta (offscreen): Discover tropical climates…

A picture of Mario standing on the leaves of a giant palm tree over an endless drop, trying to reach a red coin, is shown.

Pianta (offscreen): …sinister imposters…

A picture of Shadow Mario carrying Peach away is shown.

Pianta (offscreen): …angry townsfolk…

A picture of piantas yelling at Mario is shown.

Pianta (offscreen): …and get blamed for things you never did!

A picture of Mario in jail is shown.

Pianta (offscreen): You’ll have the time of your life…

A picture of Toad crying is shown.

Pianta (offscreen): So get away from all the crowds, lava pits, and Bowsers trying to kidnap you, and escape to more problems in Isle Delfino!

The Piantas start doing their dance, but Shadow Mario runs up the camera and breaks it.

Gourmet Guy: Well, I believe it’s time to announce the winner… of this contest… and of the show. Who will win the prize money, the cookbook, the bust, and the copy of Paper Mario 2? First, I would like to say that everyone did a good job in the long run, and everyone deserves to win. However, only one person can win, so TOUGH! Also, I would like to acknowledge the great job that all our staff and technicians did. Without them, we wouldn’t be able to do this show at all, which would get me fired! So, now, it’s all over. Whoever’s name is written down on this card is the winner of all the prizes and the most important thing… dignity. Oops, I meant FAME! So, the winner of the Super Chef Show is… Tayce T!

Confetti falls on Tayce T.

Tayce T: Yes! Now I am even more famous than before!


Apprentice: *sigh*


Toce T: No! I had the victory right there in my hand and I blew it!

Gourmet Guy: Yes, the winner is Tayce T! I tasted all the other dishes and all of them except Toce T’s was delicious. However, I’ve always loved her cake. It just… makes me want to burst. I mean, I went flying up in the air! I had no doubt that the winner had to be Tayce T. In case you’re wondering, Chef Torte came in 2nd, Zess T. in 3rd, Apprentice in 4th, and Toce T. in last. So, here are the current, and final, rankings:

Tayce T: 20
Chef Torte: 19
Zess T: 18
Apprentice: 17
Toce T: 16

Gourmet Guy: And so, the time has come for the presentation of the awards! Tayce T, by the power invested in me by my boss, I present you with a cookbook by the one and only Maitre Delish, 10,000 coins, and Paper Mario 2! Your bust will be constructed soon and you will be invited to see it.

Gourmet Guy hands Tayce T. a cookbook, a huge money sack, and, of course, Paper Mario 2.

Gourmet Guy: And that will bring our show to a close! Goodbye, and thank you all for watching the Super Chef Show!

Chef Torte: You. You’re coming vith moi.

Apprentice: Agh! Please don’t hit me, Master Torte!

Toce T: Ah, oh well. I’ll just go home and win more regional contests.

Tayce T: Phew. I glad that’s over with.

Zess T: Me too. Hey, good job out there.

Tayce T: Would you carry some of this for me?

Zess T: Sure.

Tayce T. hands Zess T. the cookbook and the game.

Tayce T: Hey, I have an idea! Let’s go start our own joint restaurant!

Zess T: Sounds good to me!

The two sisters walk out.

The lights go out and everybody walks out, but the cameraman forgets to stop the tape. Double D walks in through the back door.

Double D: Hey everybody, I just finished Paper Mario 2! Am I too late for the presentation? ... Guys? Hello? Why is that light blinking? Is the camera still rolli…

The End

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