Three hours later, the spaceship is flying smoothly, and Plit is getting smaller and smaller behind them.
Toadette: Say goodbye to Plit, people, we’re moving out!
Bowyer: Freaky this is.
Lemmy: No, it’s-
Iggy: Cool!
Pork Chop: Just born and already I’m leaving home!
Jolene: Relax, little guy. We should be at Earth in an hour or so.
Wendy: Um, I have something to say.
Boshi: What is it, dudette?
Wendy: It’s about how many beings are IN this ship. The weight max is one person. It says on the wall that if it goes over that max-
Jolene: Hey! I’m losing control!
Mario: Wheee!
Everyone hits the ceiling.
Toadette: What the?!
Jolene: I’ve lost control! We’re going down!
Boshi: HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!
Wendy: Wait, wait! I see something!
Lemmy: It’s another-
Iggy: Ship!
Toadette: IT’LL SAVE US!!! OVER HERE!!!
The other ship attaches to Jolene’s.
Voice from ship: Climb aboard!
Jolene: You go! I’ve got to keep this ship from crashing!
Toadette: But you’ll die in the crash!
Jolene: Better me then you! Go!
Pork Chop: Ya don’t have to tell me twice!
Pork Chop leaves.
Jolene: Hurry! The suction from the door will pull you into space!
Toadette: I’M NOT GOING WITHOUT YOU!
Voice from ship: Quickly!
Boshi: Come on, Mario dude!
Mario: Wahaha!
Boshi and Mario climb into the space ship.
Wendy: Augh! This is melting my mascara! Come on!
Wendy, Iggy, and Lemmy run onto the other spaceship. Jolene, Bowyer, and Toadette are the only ones left.
Jolene: GO! NOW! SAVE YOURSELVES!
Bowyer: Going I am not!
Toadette: This is a brave thing, Jolene. We owe our lives to you.
Toadette slowly climbs aboard the other spaceship.
Jolene: BOWYER! GO!!!
Bowyer: NO! Go you must! Sacrifice my life I will!
Jolene: But-
Bowyer: GO!
Bowyer quickly pushes Jolene onto the other spaceship. The hatch closes.
Bowyer: What I was waiting for this is.
Bowyer pulls a lever and the spaceship breaks away from the other one.
Bowyer: Regret this I will not in the afterlife.
The ship crashes into a small moon. It explodes.
Inside the other ship...
Everyone is in darkness.
Toadette: Where is everybody?!
Pork Chop: Over here!
Boshi: DUDE! WHAT IS THIS PLACE?!
Jolene: At least we’re safe!
Toadette: JOLENE?! How did you save yourself?
Jolene: Bowyer… He tookover the ship…
Wendy: But… Does that mean...?
Iggy: I saw-
Lemmy: The ship crash.
Jolene: There’s no hope that he survived.
Voice: Arr, he was very brave to save you!
Pork Chop: Whuzzat?
Mario: It’s-a molasses!
Voice: NO! ARRGH! STOP CALLING ME CAPTAIN MOLASSES!
Mario: She goes good on pancakes!
Voice: Dang you! You’re just like your good-for-nothing cousin!
Toadette: Only one being could hate Wario THAT much! Captain Chocolate!
Pork Chop: I thought it was Captain French Fry!
Mario: CAPTAIN MOLASSES!!!
Jolene: No! Captain Pancake!
Boshi: Du-ude! It’s Captain Waffle, dudes!
Wendy: Captain Makeup!
Iggy: Captain-
Lemmy: Burger!
Voice: I’M CAPTAIN SYRUP, YOU MORONS!!!
The lights come on. Captain Syrup, with a red face, is standing in the middle of the room.
Toadette: *gasp* It’s Captain Chocolate!
Syrup: Arr! Don’t make me make ye walk the plank!
Pork Chop: You can’t fool me, Captain French Fry! There are no sharks in space!
Syrup: Right now we are flying over a black hole. Then we will fly over the planet of hungry monsters. Any questions?
Pork Chop: ... I’ll shut up now.
Toadette: So, why did you rescue us?
Syrup: I heard ye had Wario-haters on the ship.
Toadette: … Yup! We hate Wario!
Pork Chop: Yeah! Wario stinks!
Boshi: Wario dude is the WORST!!!
Jolene: WARIO IS SOOOO DUMB!
Wendy, Iggy, and Lemmy: BAD WARIO!
Mario: We-a all love Wario!
…
Mario: What?
Toadette gags Mario with a mouse and Pork Chop ties him up with a roll of string. They push him into a corner.
Wendy: Ignore the idiot.
Syrup: I will.
Iggy: That’s very-
Toadette: QUIT IT WITH THE SENTENCES! IT’S SO ANNOYING!
Iggy: Sorry.
Lemmy: Sorrier.
Iggy: Sorriest.
Jolene: Shut up! NOW!
Syrup: So… Where can I drop you off, mates?
Pork Chop: Earth.
Syrup: Earth?
Wendy: Earth.
Syrup: What for?
Toadette: Do I HAVE to tell her the whole story?
All: Yes. Do it. Now.
Toadette tells her the whole story.
Syrup: Blah. Serves those Sirens right. Always sending me hate mail.
Boshi: Why would they send you hate mail, dudette?
Syrup: Because I send THEM hate mail!
…
Syrup: Whatever. I’ll drop ye off on Earth!
Jolene: But you’ll need to pick us up!
Syrup: Not a chance! I’ve got urgent business!
Toadette: Fine! We can fly away with the flying potion!
Syrup: We should be at Earth in an hour or so.
Boshi: That long?! Dudes! This dudely dudette has a dudely slow ship!
Syrup: Keep it up and you’ll never make it there.
Boshi: An hour’s fine.
Syrup: I thought as much. Now… Find yourselves something to do!
Later…
Syrup: KICK THE CAN?!
Jolene: It was actually fun to play.
Boshi: Until we smashed that dudely window.
Syrup: YEAH? WELL, GUESS WHAT! YOU SMASHED ALL THE ‘DUDELY WINDOWS’!!!
Pork Chop: But it was fun!
Syrup: Fun, shmun. Do something else!
Later…
Syrup: YOU PLAYED HIDE AND SEEK?! IN MY CABIN?!
Toadette: Why do you hide away all those cute dolls?
Iggy: What about the sticker book?
Lemmy: What about that tricycle?
Syrup: YOU SAW ALL THAT?!
Boshi: So… Why do you have dudely hearts painted on the walls?
Wendy: And pink stars on the ceiling?
Syrup: STAY OUT OF MY CABIN!
Pork Chop: But-
Syrup: DO SOMETHING ELSE!
Later…
Syrup: DON’T TELL ME!
Boshi: *braap* That soda was good.
Toadette: *burp* And the swiss cheese.
Jolene: *BRAAAP* And all that bologna!
Wendy: OOH! YOU HAVE NAIL POLISH?!
Iggy: So… Why do you stash that food in the engine?
Syrup: THAT "SODA" WAS FUEL! THAT "SWISS CHEESE" AND "BOLOGNA" WERE PARTS OF THE ENGINE! AND THAT "NAIL POLISH" WAS THE SPARE FUEL!
Lemmy: So we can’t get to Earth?
Syrup: WE’LL FALL OUT OF THE SKY ANY MINUTE NOW!
Pork Chop: But, lady, we’re already ON the ground! The spaceship landed on Earth five minutes ago!
Syrup: But- But-
Toadette: C’mon!
Everyone but Syrup jumps out of the spaceship.
Syrup: NOW HOW WILL I GET TO MY URGENT BUSINESS?!
Jolene: Relax, Captain Pancake.
Syrup lets out a wordless roar.
Pork Chop: Yikes!
They run away.
Syrup: I’ll have to take up sailing again! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Meanwhile…
Toadette: Oh great!
Jolene: What?
Toadette: I forgot!
Pork Chop: What is it?
Toadette: That was so stupid of me!
Wendy: WHAT?!
Toadette: We left Mario on the spaceship!
They all look at each other.
Boshi: Let’s pretend Mario was never here, dudes.
Iggy: I’ll second that motion.
Meanwhile…
Luigi is tied up in a cloud cave.
Luigi: You’ll never get away with this!
King Boolossus: But I already have! Black Yoshi! Pay up!
Black Yoshi: What?!
King Boolossus: You get Luigi out of your way, and I get my revenge AND some cash!
Black Yoshi: Ah, yes. Here you are, King.
The Black Yoshi empties some cash into King Boolossus’s ghastly hands.
King Boolossus: That will be sufficient. You may go now.
Black Yoshi: I shall. My queen awaits.
The Black Yoshi flies off.
Luigi: My friends WILL come rescue me!
King Boolossus: Not a chance! That bow-friend of yours died in a spaceship explosion! The rest of your pathetic "army" was last seen in the care of Captain Syrup, who will soon be investigated!
Luigi: Bowyer… died? No!
King Boolossus: Yess… Now sit tight… I’m going to build myself a castle…
King Boolossus flies off.
Luigi: No… It can’t be…
Back with our OTHER heroes…
Toadette: That magic cure shop should be dead ahead.
They come up to a broken down shack.
Jolene: You weren’t kidding about the DEAD ahead.
Pork Chop: When was the last time they cleaned this place, 1881?!
Wendy: I’d like to see even GRODUS put up with that place!
Toadette: What did they use to hold the house together? Syrup?
Iggy: Wait, this can’t be Earth! Earth has houses!
Lemmy: Maybe this is 1800.
Jolene: Heh, good jokes.
Boshi: Ooh! I’ve got one, dudes! Why don’t they give this back to the goat they bought it from?
Jolene: Man, you are hopeless…
Toadette: Let’s go in.
They enter and see a desk with a screen behind it.
Iggy: Where’s Grodus?
Boshi: Maybe he’s a-HEAD of schedule? HAHAHAHA, dudes!
Toadette: That’s not funny. That’s just wrong. Where’s Grodus?
The screen flickers to life.
Screen: SIR GRODUS IS AWAY ON URGENT BUSINESS. I AM HERE TO TAKE HIS PLACE.
Jolene: TEC?! But you blew up like three years ago!
Screen (TEC): I WAS REBUILT. WHAT DO YOU NEED?
Toadette: Uh… One Flying Potion and one Life Potion, please.
TEC works out the equations on his screen.
TEC: THAT WILL BE 50,000,00 COINS.
Toadette: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
TEC: PAY UP.
Pork Chop: Fine. Who has money?
Wendy pulls out three coins. Boshi pulls out six coins. Iggy pulls out one coin. Lemmy pulls out four coins. Toadette pulls out eight coins. Jolene pulls out twelve coins.
TEC: … NO DEAL.
Iggy: I’ll go hack into his system.
TEC: HEY, NO HACKING! SECURITY!
Boshi: Dude, you have security?
TEC: … NO.
Toadette: Go hack.
Iggy leaves.
TEC: HEY, NO FAIR! ACK! LOSING CONTROL OF SSYTEM! ACK! ICK! OOH!
Two labeled potions slide towards them.
Toadette: Life and Flying. Perfect.
Jolene: Yay. Now let’s get off this freaky planet before we meet "humans"!
Pork Chop: Huma-What?
TEC: *grunt* GO ALREADY.
Iggy walks back in.
Wendy: What did you do to him?
Boshi: Yeah, dude!
Iggy: I poured soda pop on his server.
Toadette: That’s… weird, but whatever.
TEC: HAVE A BAD DAY.
They walk out.
Lemmy: Which one do we use first?
Toadette: The first one.
Lemmy: Which one is the first one?
Jolene: The purple one.
Lemmy: They’re both purple! What does the first one look like?
Wendy: It’s fizzing.
Lemmy: THEY’RE BOTH FIZZING!!!
Iggy: The one with the green bottle.
Lemmy: THEY BOTH ARE IN GREEN BOTTLES!
Pork Chop: THE ONE WITH THE YELLOW CORK!
Lemmy: THEY BOTH HAVE YELLOW CORKS!
Toadette: JUST OPEN THE BOTTLE!
Lemmy: I CAN’T OPEN THE BOTTLE!
Jolene: WE NEED TO USE THE FLYING POTION!!!
Lemmy: WHICH ONE IS THE FLYING POTION?!
Boshi: DUDES! IT’S THE ONE THAT SAYS "NUMBER ONE: FLYING POTION"!
Lemmy: Oh! Why didn’t you say so?
Lemmy uncorks the bottle.
Jolene: Let’s get flying!
Lemmy douses himself and the others with the potion. They all sprout wings.
Boshi: Sweet, dude!
Toadette: I think the rest of the FBI should know about this. There must be something illegal involved. But for now, we FLY!
Wendy: Let’s do this!
Meanwhile, in the bushes…
Black Yoshi (into walkie-talkie): Yes, my queen. We searched Syrup’s ship thoroughly, but it only contained Mario, who I shipped to King Boolossus. Syrup is now in your dungeon. I have found the rest of Luigi’s "army" here on Earth. They have just purchased the Flying Potion and the Life Potion. Yes, my queen. I understand the urgency of the situation. The Shadow Sirens WILL NOT be brought back to life. And Luigi and Mario WILL NOT be recovered. King Boolossus, though… If they reach him, they can easily defeat him. He is weak, though scary. I will send out Hooktail and Gloomtail. They are still angry about the capturing of their brother, Bonetail. They were not obeying commands right then, so I got them trainers… Wario and Waluigi. Goodbye, my queen.
He clicks off the walkie-talkie.
In the Shadow Queen’s castle…
The Shadow Queen is sitting in the middle of the room, being fanned by the not-so-smart Toads who think that she’s the real Peach.
Shadow Queen: I cannot allow them to revive the Sirens. If they are revived… the results would be disastrous for me… And I must grant the wish of Mario to put them all to death. The Shadow Sirens are dead. Mario and Luigi shall be tortured to death by King Boolossus. Bowyer died in an explosion. And the rest will die at the hands of my dragons and their trainers. Then I can continue to rule the shadows… Fan me more, my servants… Ah, that’s the spot.