The Unspaghetti Machine

By Lemmy Koopa

One sunny morning, Roy, who was still in bed, was doing some serious thinking. He was thinking about how to get rid of the Mario brothers. If he could get rid of them, he would not only be able to steal anything he wanted, but he might become king of the Koopas, and secretly, that's what he wanted most of all.

"So," he thought out loud, "What can I do that will make Mario and Luigi leave?" As he pondered the question, he went down to the breakfast table for an early lunch. Wendy walked over to the table with a plate of spaghetti. Koopas hate spaghetti because Mario and Luigi love it. "I made it just for you," Wendy giggled, "because I knew you would hate it."

Roy was about to say some words that are not fit for print, when it suddenly occured to him that Mario and Luigi loved spaghetti and never ate anything else. Getting up, and taking the plate of spaghetti with him, he ran as fast as he could to the doomship of his best friend, Ludwig. Suddenly, he returned to the dining room and said, "Thank you, Wendy, that was very thoughtful of you." Roy continued on his way to Ludwig’s room while Wendy turned red with anger.

When he reached Ludwig's doomship, Roy hastily explained his plan to Ludwig. "If we can get rid of all of the spaghetti," started Roy, "Mario and Luigi will go elsewhere and we can do what we want!" Ludwig liked the idea so much that he started on an invention to rid Mushroom Land of all of the spaghetti they had right then and there. When he finished, he and Roy went outside and turned on the machine. Sure enough, all of the spaghetti in Mushroom Land disappeared.

Somewhere in Mushroom Land, Mario and Luigi were sitting down to a feast of spaghetti to celebrate all of their victories over the Koopas. But just before they could take their first bite, the spaghetti disappeared. The Marios looked everywhere in Mushroom Land, but there was no spaghetti to be found. Finally, in despair, Mario and Luigi decided to go back to Earth, where they could eat as much spaghetti as they wanted. So, off they went in the Mario Plane (see The Takeover of Earth) to the nearest warp pipe to Earth.

But, of course, something always goes wrong to the bad guys, and this time was no exception. As soon as he saw Mario and Luigi leave, Roy started to dance a dance of victory (he jumped up and down and waved his arms like an infected elf), and while he danced, he knocked over the machine, making it blow up and making the spaghetti reappear. This wouldn't have been so bad except that on Earth there was a drought on wheat, which is required for making pasta, so Mario and Luigi decided to go back to Mushroom Land. When they saw that all of the spaghetti was back, and that Roy and Ludwig were standing by an overturned machine, they picked them up, and with great aim, tossed Roy and Ludwig into Bowser's dungeon. Then Mario and Luigi went back to their feast and celebrated with a double feast.

Being thrown into the dungeon made Ludwig’s hair turn white. This is why there is such a controversy over whether Ludwig’s hair is blue (like in the Super Mario Brothers 3 manual) or white (like as the boss in Super Mario Brothers 3). Roy was thrown headfirst into one of the burning torches that lined the walls of the dungeon cells. The fire destroyed his eyes, and Roy needed glasses to repair his eyes. Roy refused to wear regular glasses, because he decided that the glasses that Iggy wore made Iggy look dorky. Instead, Roy started to wear his famous sunglasses. It made him look cooler, but it did not help his vision at all, and that is why Roy jumps around and shakes the floor- he can not see where he is going.

The End

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