When the Dead Just Won't Stay Dead

By deathyboy

First, a preface. This is my first attempt at a story set in the Mario Universe. My story is set in the Mario RPG area of Lemmy's timeline, right before Smithy's appearance. The plot is that the dead are becoming restless; not just the normal undead, like the Boos and Dry Bones, but Toads, Yoshis, Goombas, and most everything else that dies.

With that out of the way, let's get on with the story.

Chapter One: Seaside Troubles

One day, in the Mushroom Kingdom, in Peach's Room...

Mario: Ahhh. Such a nice day to visit the princess.

He walks into her room.

Mario: Hmm. She's not in here... and I wanted to show her these bombs I found for her, just in case Bowser tries to kidnap her again.

A few seconds later, Peach runs into the room.

Peach: Mario!!!

Mario: Mamamia! What is it, Peach? What's-a going on?

Peach: I just received a report that there was trouble in Seaside Town! We fear that Bowser has launched an attack!

Mario: Can't we just wait here? I'm-a tired!

Peach: They might have cheese.


A few hours later, in Seaside Town...

Mario: I don't-a see the cheese.

Peach: I don't see the town elder. I don't see anyone, for that matter.

Peach walks off towards the elder's house while Mario walks off in a different direction.

Mario: Oh cheeeeeeese! Where are you? Are you in here?

Mario opens the door of the item shop.

Mario: Oh, hello there, item shop owner. Can-a I buy some cheese?

Item Shop Owner: Braahg.

Mario: Come again? I don't-a understand you.

Item Shop Owner: Braagns.

Mario: Bran? You want bran flakes?

Item Shop Owner: Braaiiinsss!

The shop owner lunges at Mario.

Mario: AAAAHHH! Get away from me, you freak!


Mario: That's it; Mushroomer or not, I'm-a gonna kick your behind! Hiiyah!

Mario punches the shop owner.

Mario: Ha! Take-a that, jerk!

Item Shop Owner: (slowly rising) Braaaignss. Eeeeat.

Mario: What the?! You shouldn't be awake; I hit you hard enough to knock-a you out for at least a week! Now-a I must resort to my special item.

Mario pulls out a Fire Flower and turns into Fire Mario.

Mario: How do you like-a this?!

Mario roasts the shop owner to a nice golden brown color.

Item Shop Owner: Urrrghh. Hhhh.

He lays motionless on the ground.

Mario: Why did he attack me? Oh no! I'd better find Peach!

Meanwhile, in the village elder's house...

Peach: Hello! Anyone home?

She walks upstairs.

Peach: Where is everyone?

She notices a large lump in the bed start to move.

Peach: Oh dear, I didn't mean to interrupt your nap. But could you tell me where everyone-

Village Elder: Braaagh.

Peach: What? What's wrong? Are you sick?

She walks toward him. Suddenly, Mario bursts through the front door and runs upstairs.

Mario: Nooo! Peach, get away from him! He's not alive!

Peach: Mario, what are you talking about? EEEEEK!

The elder gets out from under the sheets to reveal that his body has been severely bitten, seemingly by other Mushroomers.

Mario: I'll-a handle this guy!

Mario roasts the village elder until he collapses, charred and smoking.

Peach: Something is terribly wrong here. We must get back to the castle immediately!

Chapter Two: Bowser's Worries

Bowser is in a worse mood than normal owing to his defeat by Mario, even though Bowser had the power of the Star Rod and his special platform.


Kammy: King Koopa, sir, you should calm down. Remember your blood pressure.

Bowser: Grrrrr. You're right. I'll just have to think of a new way to beat that stupid plumber.

Kammy: Well, maybe you should try something different. Like. Ummm. Turning the mushroom people against the Marios?

Bowser: That might work, if the Mushroom people weren't completely loyal to the orincess and those cursed Marios!

Kammy: Ahh. That's true.

Koopatrol: King Koopa! A report just came in! There is an angry mob forming outside the castle!


Koopatrol: But... there's something else...

Bowser: What is it?

Koopatrol: We sent out some guards to take care of them, but... they were eaten by the mob.

Bowser: Let me get this straight. They were eaten.

Koopatrol: Yes.

Bowser: As in, physically ingested.

Koopatrol: Umm... yes.


Koopatrol: I don't know, sir.

Bowser: That was a rhetorical question, idiot!

Koopatrol: (Bowser knows a word as big as "rhetorical"?)

Bowser: Let's go, Kammy. I want to see this for myself.

Kammy: Yes, King Koopa.

Outside, on the castle's roof...

Bowser: Hmm. That's definitely an angry mob.

Kammy: (muttering) I coulda told you that.

Bowser: What was that, Kammy?

Kammy: Err, nothing, King Koopa!

Bowser: That's what I thought. Now then, what are we to do about this mob? We can't kill them; that would make us look like we don't care about our citizens.

Kammy: Sir, do we care about the citizens?

Bowser: Not really. But most of my army has families out there, so we can't just kill them.

Abruptly, the front gates fall and the castle is swarmed by the mob.

Bowser: That is definitely not good.

Kammy: I don't wanna be eaten! What should we do?

Bowser: The only thing we can do against a mob that size: Run. Get on your broom, we're leaving.

Kammy: But sir, what about your army? And the mob?

Bowser: They can take care of themselves.

He hops into his clown copter.

I'm headed for Yo'ster Isle. I think I'll get rid of the Yoshis and relax for a while. Are you coming or not?

Kammy: Yes, King Koopa.

Chapter Three: A Meeting of the Paths

Inside the entrance to the Pipe Vault...

Mario: Remind-a me why we're here again.

Peach: We have to make sure Yoshi is ok.

Mario: But I want to go home! I don't-a like zombies. They scare me, because being eaten alive is-a very painful!

Peach: Then why don't you care if it happens to Yoshi?

Mario: Because I'm not Yoshi.

Peach: *sigh* They might have some pasta.


On Yo'ster Isle...

Mario: Where's-a the pasta? I'm-a hungry! Hey, you tricked me!

Peach: Well, you fell for it.

Mario: Hey! There's-a Red Yoshi! See, I told you they would be fine!

Red Yoshi: Raaargh.

Peach: Oh dear.

Mario: Mamamia, not them too!

Yoshis start to enter the clearing.

Mario and Peach: HEEEEEEELP!

Meanwhile, Bowser and Kammy arrive at the island.

Bowser: Time to eradicate those Yoshis!

Kammy: King Koopa, there are people down there!

Bowser: Yeah. *pulls out Bob-omb* The Yoshis. Muhahahaha! Die, Yoshis!

Bowser starts hurling bombs in every direction, blowing up all the Yoshis but completely missing Mario and the princess.

Mario: Yay! We're-a saved!


Mario: And now we're-a toast.

Peach: Run! Back in the pipe!

Yoshi: Wait for Yoshi!

Mario: Yoshi, you're alive!

Yoshi: Yoshi scared of mean zombies! Zombies try to eat Yoshi! Yoshi no wanna be eaten!

Bowser: I'm gonna blow you sky high, Mario!

Mario dives in the pipe as Bowser tosses a Bob-omb at him.

Bowser: Darn it! I had a perfect shot and I missed!

Kammy: Well, at least we're safe now. No angry cannibals here! We can stay here until the situation dies down a bit.

Bowser: Yeah. I suppose you're right.

Chapter Four: The Long Road to the Mushroom Kingdom

Mario: So how did-a you survive?

Yoshi: Yoshi and friends hid in a cave nearby. Mean zombies not find other Yoshis there!

Peach: Thank goodness! I was worried you had died!

Mario: What-a do we do now? It's a long way to the Mushroom Kingdom. We'll never make it alive!

Peach: We have to try. The Mushroom Kingdom is counting on us! We can't let them down!

Mario: What? That-a means we have to fight the zombies! Why should-a we risk our lives? Let's-a just wait until they starve or something like-a that.

Peach: Mario, do you know why there was no food in the town and on the island?

Mario: No, why?

Peach: The zombies ate it all.


On the way to the Mushroom Kingdom, they stop in Rose Town to look for survivors.

Peach: Wait, Mario! Let's check for survivors!

Mario: Ok then, let's check the inn. Hey! I made a rhyme! Neat!

Peach: Mario, just come on! We have to find out if anyone survived. We're just lucky Rose Town isn't very big, so there shouldn't be many zombies around.

Mario: Hey! Look-a over there!  Who's-a that?

Gaz: Hey! You people over there! Heeeelp!

Peach: Oh no! Those zombies have cornered that little kid! We have to help!

Mario: I'll-a teach those zombies to eat my food! Yoshi, let's get them!

Mario and Yoshi run towards the group of five zombies surrounding Gaz and kick, punch, and otherwise injure them until the zombies fall over dead.

Gaz: Wow, Mister! You're cool! Haven't I seen you before, though...? Nah. I guess not.

Mario: It's-a no problem. Just get back home!

Gaz: Ok!

Peach: Good job, Mario! Let's get back to the Mushroom Kingdom!

Chapter Five" The Final Stand

Mario and Co. finally make it back to the Mushroom Kingdom relatively unscathed. Apart from the minor scuffle in Rose Town, they weren't bothered by any zombies. When they arrive in the Mushroom Kingdom, they head straight for the castle. It is very quiet.

Mario: Hmmm. It's-a quiet. Too quiet. Am I wearing earplugs or something? Or is it really that quiet?

Peach: No, it's just quiet. It shouldn't be, though. This is the most heavily populated area in the kingdom. Where is everyone?

Mario and his friends head towards the castle.

Yoshi: Yoshi hear something. Mario hear something too?

Mario: Yes, it-a sounds like my stomach growling. I'm-a hungry. I want some pasta!

Peach: I don't think it's your stomach, Mario.

She points behind them at about forty zombies walking after them.


They run towards the castle doors, but find them locked.


Toad: Woah! Mario?!


Toad: Right away!

Toad opens the door to let them in and slams it shut when everyone is safely inside.

Peach: Toad! How is everyone holding up?

Toad: Well, when you left, everything was fine. But then, while some recently deceased Mushroomer was being buried, he broke out of his coffin and attacked the funeral-goers! There were reports that the dead were rising everywhere around Plit, but mostly between Nimbus Land and the Mushroom Kingdom. Nimbus Land hasn't reported any direct attacks, though. None of their dead have risen, but they saw a few attacks, as did some of the refugees from Rose Town who didn't stay barricaded in the inn. There were also a few who came from Marrymore. They're saying that those who were bitten were transformed into zombies, but fortunately, the zombies have a very short life span. They die in about twelve to eighteen hours. I know,
because I've been watching them. Only the recently bitten are still out there.

Mushroom Guard: Princess! Mario! Thank goodness you're back! The zombies are about to break down the doors! We need help!

Mario: Let's-a go! We must protect the castle at all costs!

Mario and Yoshi rush down from Peach's room to find the doors splintering under the onslaught of zombie attacks.

Mushroom Guard: Mario, take this Fire Flower. Yoshi, here's one for you.

Mario and Yoshi use the Fire Flowers. Mario changes into Fire Mario and Yoshi changes into a Red Yoshi, complete with flame powers. They both stand near the door and prepare for battle.


Mario: Oh, look. They learned a new word.

The zombies break down the doors and charge the guards.

Mario: ATTACK!

The zombies and Mushroomer guards meet with such fury that the entrance to the castle is filled with the dead, the undead, and the re-dead. The Mushroomers are pushing the zombies out into the street, but as they get tired, the zombies move in proceed to bite the guards and turn them to zombies. Mario and Yoshi are pushed back into the castle. Just when things look their worst, Princess Peach comes downstairs holding something.

Peach: Mario! Yoshi! Look! I found these upstairs!

She tosses them two Bob-ombs she found in her room.

Mario: Whoopee! Let's-a go, Yoshi!

Yoshi: Yay! Zombies go boom now!

They throw their bombs into the crowd of zombies. KABOOM! KABOOM! Zombies are thrown everywhere.

Mario: Only three left! Let's-a get them!

Mario and Yoshi quickly wipe out the rest of the zombies.

Peach: Good job, you two! Toad said they die in about eighteen hours. It's been about a day and a half since the report was received. Maybe the rest will start dying soon. But there's just one thing that bothers me. Why did this happen? What caused the dead to rise?

Mario: Let's-a just hope that it never happens again!


Back on Yo'ster Isle...

Bowser: Hey, look! I found a zombie!

Zombie Yoshi: Grrrr. Urrrrgh. Raaargh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhg.

It falls over.

Bowser: Hey. I think it's dead.

Kammy: (muttering) No, seriously? I never would have guessed.

Bowser: Did you say something, Kammy?

Kammy: No, not a thing.

Bowser: That's what I thought. Let's go check the castle. I'm tired of hiding here. Maybe the rest are dead. If they aren't, then I'll just take care of them. Hopefully most of the army survived, though. If they didn't, I'll kill them!

Kammy: What amazing logic. For an idiot.

Bowser: WHAT?!

Kammy: Errr... Did I say that last part out loud?


One huge ball of flame later...

Kammy: Ouch.

Bowser: I'm leaving. You follow me as soon as you feel brave enough.

Kammy: I'll catch up when these third degree burns heal. You go on. I'll just lay here behind these bushes.

Back at the Mushroom Kingdom....

Mario: Now that the zombies are gone, I'm-a going home to cook some pasta!

Peach: Let me come pick some flowers. I need something to do while the surviving Mushroom guards clean up the castle and the town.

Mario: Sure, why-a not?

Somewhere over the Mushroom Kingdom...

Bowser: Curse my rotten luck. I'll never beat Mario. Wait a second. Is that Peach down there?

On the ground...

Peach: La la la.

Mario: I'll-a be right back, I'm-a going to make my pasta.

Peach: Okay, have fun!

Back in the sky...

Bowser: That idiot is going inside! This is too good to be true.

I think you know where it goes from here.

The End? Not by a long shot.

Somewhere in an alternate dimension.

?????: Did the plan work?

Domino: No, sir. I tried to cast the spell on the whole world... but the area to the west was full of magical interference. There were no zombies created in that area.

?????: What about the rest of the world?

Domino: No, sir. It looked like they would all be wiped out, but the hero of that world stopped the zombie uprising. I'm sorry, Master.

?????: No matter. Soon, I shall destroy him and fill the world with wonderful weapons. And no one can stop me! Muhahahahahahaaaaa!!!

Now! Credit time!

First off, I want to thank Nintendo for making Mario the wonderful plumber he is today.

Second, I want to thank Lemmy Koopa for hosting this awesome site. You rock, man!

Third, I want to thank chocolate for containing sugar. Mmmm. Chocolate.

And last, I want to thank myself for writing this story. It's my first attempt, and hopefully not my last.

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