Survivor 4: Lavalava Island

By Din

Day 13

Tribe Bowser

Toad: Why'd you guys vote for Luigi?!

Bowser: Because no Tribe Yoshi Member will ever flourish under my rule!

Rawk Hawk: Yeah! And your next, shrimpy! Wahahahahahahahaha!

Toad, Hyperactive Fungus: Ha! HA! If those arrogant idiots think they can get rid of me that easily, they're in for a surprise!

Doopliss, Identity Thief: Ignoring the fact that I can't believe that there was a threeway tie at Tribal, I think I know of a way to oust Rawk Hawk!

Bowser: Wahahaha! You tell 'em, Rawk Hawk! We'll get him so bad!

Rawk Hawk: Uh huh! We're gonna RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK that fool! That's right! We'll RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- *smote*

???: SHUT UP!!!

Bowser: Eh? Who are you again?

???: I'm ???, you twit! We've been through this before!

Bowser: We have?

???: Yes.

Bowser: ... Liar.

???: Idiot! *smites Bowser* Now all of you BE QUIET!!!

??? leaves.

Bowyer, Speach-Impaired Bow: Beginning to like this ??? guy I am.

Rawk Hawk: Aw, man. I hate being smited.

Doopliss: Smited isn't a word, moron. It's smote.

Rawk Hawk: Oh? OH?! You wanna make something of it?

Doopliss: Not really.

Rawk Hawk: ... Oh. Wise choice.

Doopliss: Yup. That's why I made it.

Rawk Hawk: Shut up, ya wise guy!

Doopliss: Nah. I don't think I will, Slick.

Rawk Hawk: Oh? OH?! You wanna make something of it?

Doopliss: *sigh*

Rawk Hawk: Answer me, ya freak!

Doopliss: No.

Rawk Hawk: DO IT. Lest you want to fall victim to the RAAAAAA- *smote*

???: QUIET!!!

??? leaves.

Bowser, Koopa King: That ??? guy creeps me out. Must be something about his name...

Rawk Hawk: ... Ow.

(The New) Tribe Yoshi

Jinx: Yes! YES! It feels so good to wiiiiiiiin...

Yoshi: Yoshi agree.

Anti Guy: Don't get too celebratory, now. We still have that little "all the plant life on the island is dead" problem.

Jinx: Oh. Right. I forgot about that...

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy kicks Chancellor.

Yoshi: What we gonna do about it?

King Boo: I'll fly back up to Raff- I mean, the big Raven guy and beg him to restore it. Just don't say that name that name that begins with a "Raff" and ends with a "y".

Anti Guy: What, Raffy?

Jinx: *gasp* Don't say it!

Anti Guy: Make me! Raffy! Raffy! Raffy! Raffy! Raffy! Raffy! RAAAAAAAAAFFY!!!

A large tidal wave comes out of no where and swallows Anti Guy.

King Boo: Hm. Well I'll go speak with him. You guys should save Anti Guy, or something.

King Boo leaves.

Jinx: ... You wanna save him?

Yoshi: No.

Crystal King: Nuh uh.

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy scurries to the shore and kicks him. The wave follows and sucks him up again.


Jinx: That's not a good thing to say when you're in need of rescue, man!

Anti Guy: You think I care?

Jinx: You will when you drown.

Anti Guy: Not really, seeing as I'll be dead.

Jinx: Hm. Fair point.

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy returns to kick Chancellor. While doing so, the plant life returns and no tidal wave follows him.

Anti Guy: All right! King Boo must have convinced Raffy to-

The plants disappear.

Anti Guy: Dang it! I hate the rules of this stupid island!

King Boo returns.

King Boo: Um, what? The plants were here a minute a ago...

Crystal King: Anti Guy said Raff- I mean, that word.

King Boo: Dang it, Anti Guy! Stop doing that.

Anti Guy: Yeah, yeah...

King Boo: I'll be back in a bit.

King Boo leaves.

Yoshi: Hm. Now what do we do?

JInx: No idea.

Crystal King: Couldn't we play a game?

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy: That's *he smacks Chancellor* enough *he smacks him again* of *another smack* THAT! *kicks him*

Chancellor falls to the ground.

Yoshi: That was rude.

Anti Guy: Not really. I hate it when he does that.

Jinx: So? That doesn't give you the right to beat him up!

Anti Guy: Pah. Who cares what you think? You good guys are all the same. "That guy wants to kill me, but
I don't want to hurt them, 'cause I'm a sniveling pacifist!" Geez. It's so annoying.

Crystal King: Hmph. Well I'm a bad guy too, but I don't go around beating people up for saying "Indeed".

Anti Guy: So? That means that you're just a wuss.

Crystal King: I am not! Take that back.

Anti Guy: ... No.

Crystal King: Jerk.

Anti Guy kicks Crystal King.

Crystal King: Ow!

Jinx, Dojo Master: It seems to me that Anti Guy is a being without kindness. He hates everything!

Anti Guy: DUH!

Jinx: Hey! Don't listen to my interviews.

Anti Guy: Sorry, sorry...

Jinx: Really?

Anti Guy: No.

Jinx: *sigh*

King Boo returns.

King Boo: Bad news, guys.

Yoshi: Why? What happen?

King Boo: The Raven won't give in so easily this time. I have to beat him in a game of Uno before he returns
the plants.

Anti Guy: o.O  Uno?

King Boo: Yup. He's seems pretty good, too.

Jinx: So you came back because you couldn't beat him?

King Boo: No. I came back because we got tree mail, and need to leave for the the Reward Challenge.

Crystal King: Ah. Well I guess we should go then, huh?

King Boo: Yup.

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy: ENOUGH!!!

Anti Guy grabs Tribe Yoshi's machete and runs toward Chancellor in manic fury. Yoshi steals the blade with
his tongue before it slices anything, though.

Yoshi: Do that later. Yoshi and tribe must go.

Anti Guy: Bleh. I hate you.

Reward Challenge

Lakitu: Come on in, guys!

The Survivors do so.

Lakitu: You guys doin' all right? How are the new tribes?

Doopliss: You already asked us at Tribal Council, idiot.

Anti Guy: Well guess what, Doopy. Some of us were too good to wind up at Tribal last night!

Doopliss: Hey! Shut up! If I were on your guys' tribe I would-

Bowser: ROAR! Are you insulting our tribe?!

Doopliss: Um, yeah.

Bowser: How could you?! WE are the ultimate! We are the supreme! We are...

Axem Rangers: The Axem Rangers!


Lakitu: What the? How in the? No! No random Axem Ranger cameos! Go away! AWAY! NOW!

The Axem Rangers leave, heads hung.

Jinx: This game scares me.

Yoshi: Yoshi agree.

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy knocks Chancellor out with judo skill.

Lakitu: What was that all about?

King Boo: It's just another pointless running gag.

Lakitu: Oh. Well that makes sense.

Jinx: Aye.

Crystal King: Shouldn't you be explaining the challenge?

Lakitu: Oh. Right.

As Lakitu explains, the camera shows a patch of sand with two fairly large circles painted on it. The circles are about twenty feet away from each other, and have a diameter of about ten feet. Since it isn't very interesting, the camera shifts to showing the Survivors expressions while Lakitu explains. Most are rolling their eyes, checking watches, etc.

Lakitu: All right, so in this challenge, there are two big, white circles. Each tribe, excluding one member from Tribe Yoshi, must stand around the circle with their backs toward each other. One tribe member must
then start the game by saying the number one. Then, another Tribe Member must say the number two, and so on, until you reach thirty. The catch is this: if any two tribe members say a number at the same time, you
have to start over. Oh, and the same person can't go twice in a row, 'mkay?

Anti Guy: ... That is the LAMEST thing I ever heard!

Lakitu: Hey, it's not my idea. I'm just the host.

King Boo: Then tell the producer that his ideas stink! He'll listen to you.

Lakitu: Not really. If I do that he'll just fire me.

Anti Guy: Who cares? Suck it up, big man!

Lakitu: No. Shut up.

Anti Guy: NEVA!!!

Lakitu: ... *hem* I suppose you guys want to know what you're playing for?

Anti Guy: No.

Lakitu: Great! Then I won't tell you.

Bowser: Hey! Hey hey hey! Just because that idiot-

Anti Guy: Oh, idiot, huh? Well perhaps I oughta-


Anti Guy: Make me!

The camera cuts, and the Survivors magically appear around the circle. The footage edited out included an
attempt by the show's crew to force Anti Guy around the circle. It also included Anti Guy thrashing each and every crew member during said attempt. It also included Anti Guy being bribed with candy bars.

Lakitu: Survivors ready...? G-

Doopliss: Hold on, Slick. Who's sitting out for Tribe Yoshi?

Anti Guy: I will.

Anti Guy leaves the circle, and Lakitu smacks himself on the forehead.

Bowser: What?

Lakitu: Never mind. Survivors ready...? GO!

Tribe Bowser

Rawk Hawk: SEVEN!

Bowser: We've been through this before, Rawk Hawk. Seven does not come after zero.

Rawk Hawk: Doopliss said it did.

Bowser: Well, Doopliss is an idiot.

Doopliss: Am not!

Bowser: Are too!

Bowyer: Counting we should be...

(The New) Tribe Yoshi

Jinx: One.

King Boo: Two.

Crystal King: Three.

Jinx: Four.

Yoshi/Chancellor: Five.

King Boo: Blast. Um, one.

Jinx/Yoshi: Two.

Crystal King: *sigh* One.

Yoshi: Two.

King Boo: Three.

Jinx: Four.

Yoshi: Five.

Chancellor: Six.

King Boo: Seven.

Crystal King: Eight.

Jinx/King Boo: Nine.

Yoshi: Dang. This kinda hard...

Fifteen minutes later...

Tribe Bowser

Rawk Hawk: Forty-two!

Doopliss: We were on three, you idiot!

Rawk Hawk: Shut up.

Bowyer: ONE.

Bowser: Two.

Toad: Three.

Bowyer: Four.

Bowser/Toad: Five.

Bowser: You little idiot! I was saying five!

Toad: Hey, man! I can't tell what you're thinking!

Bowyer: ONE!

(The New) Tribe Yoshi

Jinx: Twenty-five!

Yoshi: Twenty-six!

Jinx: Twenty-seven!

Yoshi: Twenty-eight!

Jinx: Twenty-nine!

Yoshi/Crystal King: Thirty!

King Boo: Dang it! We were so close!

Yoshi: Hm. That give Yoshi idea.

Crystal King: Hm?

Yoshi: If we just have two people say the numbers, it easy.

King Boo: Ooh. Good idea. I'll do it with you, Yoshi.

Yoshi: Okay. One.

King Boo: Two.

Tribe Bowser

Bowser: Ah ha! You hear that, gang?

Rawk Hawk: No.

Bowser: Let's just have two people say the numbers!

Doopliss: Fine. Bowyer and I will do it, because we're the least idiotic.

Rawk Hawk/Toad/Bowser: Hey!

Bowyer: True that is. One.

Doopliss: Two.

(The New) Tribe Yoshi

Yoshi: Five.

King Boo: Six.

Tribe Bowser

Toad: Hurry, guys! They're ahead of us!

Doopliss and Bowyer increase speed.

Doopliss: Four.

Bowyer: Five.

Doopliss: Six.

(The New) Tribe Yoshi

Yoshi: Seven.

King Boo: Eight.


Yoshi and King Boo increase speed.

Cutting Between Both Tribes

Yoshi: Nine!

Doopliss: Eight!

Yoshi: Eleven!

King Boo: Twelve!

Bowyer: Thirteen!

King Boo: Fourteen!

Bowyer: Fifteen!

Doopliss: Sixteen!

Yoshi: Seventeen!

Doopliss: Twenty!

Yoshi: Twenty-one!

Lakitu: Exciting, isn't it?

Anti Guy: No. No, it really isn't.

Yoshi: Twenty-seven!

Doopliss: Twenty-eight!

Bowyer: Twenty-nine!

King Boo/Doopliss: THIRTY!!!

Lakitu: ...! ...! ...! ...! ... Another tie...? *sigh*

Toad: Why? What's so-

Lakitu: I HATE TIES!!!

Anti Guy: Me too!

Lakitu: *growl* Oooooookaaaaaay... Here's how the tiebreaker's going to work. Both tribes pick a member,
and they play Rock, Paper, Scissors. The winner gets reward.

Yoshi: Two out of three?

Lakitu: NO. One game. Now.

Rawk Hawk: I'm playing!

Doopliss: What, no you-

Lakitu: Tribe Yoshi. Pick. Now.

Jinx: I'll play.

Lakitu: Good. Now go.

Rawk Hawk: Okay, okay! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK, paper, scissors!

Jinx chooses paper, Rawk Hawk predictably chooses RAAAA- er, rock.

Jinx: We win.

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy kicks Chancellor.

Lakitu: Okay, fellas. You win your own swimming pool! CurtesyofGBT.

King Boo: What was that last part?

Lakitu: Um, what last part?

King Boo: That thing that you said, really fast.

Lakitu: What? I said no such thing.

King Boo: Yeah, you did.

Lakitu: No, I didn't. It wasn't anything, especially not subtle advertising to pay for our show. No sir.

King Boo: Real convincing.

Lakitu: Yup.

King Boo: I was joking.

Lakitu: I know.

Rawk Hawk: What's going on here, now?

Laktiu: Never mind. Just go away.

The tribes leave, accompanied by dramatic music.

(The New) Tribe Yoshi

Jinx: ... Where's the pool?

King Boo: Right here.

King Boo shows the tribe a sealed box labeled "Inflatable Pool".

Anti Guy: Say WHAT?! We got jipped!

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy throws the Chancellor into the bushes.

Crystal King: Hm. Does anyone want to blow it up?

Anti Guy: No.

Yoshi: Yoshi think that you should speak for yourself!

Anti Guy: Oh. OH. So you want to blow it up, is that correct?

Yoshi: No. But other tribe guys might.

Anti Guy: DO any of you want to blow it up?


Anti Guy: See? You lose. I hate you.

Yoshi, Food Tester: Yoshi think Anti Guy not very nice.

Day 14

Tribe Bowser

Doopliss, Identity Thief: Well, the plants reappeared and disappeared several times yesterday... again. It's
really starting to freak me out.

Bowser: Okay gang, what do you propose we do today?

Rawk Hawk: Fish?

Doopliss: Aw #### no! Do you remember what happened the last two times we tried that?

Rawk Hawk: Nope.

Doopliss: *sigh* Well, let's just say that it went poorly.

Bowser: Why did it go poorly, again? I forgot.

Doopliss: *twitch* It was YOUR fault, moron.

Bowser: No it wasn't!

Doopliss: *twitch* You just said that you didn't remember what happened! How do you know it's not your

Bowser: 'Cause it's never my fault!

Doopliss: And why's that, huh?

Bowser: Because I'm KING, you simpleton! King of the Koopas!

Doopliss: And what does that have to with anything, exactly?

Bowser: ... No idea. What were we talking about again?

Doopliss: We were talking about how it was your fault that we can't fish for beans.

Bowser: My fault? Ha! No way.

Doopliss: But you- ... Forget it. It isn't worth it.

Bowser, Koopa King: Ha! Hahahaha! Wuahahahahahahahah! I am the KING of arguments! And Koopas!

Rawk Hawk, Demented Wrestler: Bowser was feeling da' RAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- *smote*

???: How many times do I have to tell you to KEEP IT DOWN?!

Doopliss: Clearly not enough.

???, Mysterious Figure: How come everyone in this game is so #### loud?

Bowser: Hey! HEY! Time out! That stupid ??? guy can't get an interview! He's not a player!

??? smites Bowser.

???: Hush yourself, insolent knave. I do as I please.

??? leaves.

Bowser, Koopa King: Oh ???. How I loath thee.

Toad, Hyperactive Fungus: Hey! Why didn't I get a line? IT'S NOT FAAAAAAAI- *smote*

Raphael's Tree

King Boo is playing Uno with Raphael in order to get the plants back.

King Boo: All right, pal! This is it!

King Boo plays a Wild.

King Boo: UNO! And I choose Red! After your turn, you lose!

Raphael plays a "Draw Two" card. King Boo curses.

King Boo: Blast!

King Boo looks at Raphael's cards. He has two left after placing a red six down. King Boo plays a red nine. Raphael plays a red eight and calls Uno. King Boo has a wild and a green five in his hand. Sweat forms as he plays the Wild, calls Uno, and calls green. Raphael pauses in order to build suspense, then draws from the deck. King Boo plays his last card.

King Boo: Ha! I win! Now restore the plants.

Raphael does so. King Boo happily returns.

(The New) Tribe Yoshi

King Boo: Hey guys, guess what? I have great news!

Chancellor: Indeed?

Anti Guy slugs Chancellor in the gut.

Jinx: What, King Boo? Did you save a bunch of money on your car insurance by switching to Gieco?

King Boo: Hardly. I just beat Raf- er, the Raven guy in a game of Uno. We have food now!

Yoshi: Good job. Yoshi hungry.

Yoshi gorges.

King Boo: You know what else?

Crystal King: What?

King Boo: I pilfered his Uno cards. Now we can play as a form of entertainment!

The plants disappear.

Anti Guy: ####! I am so #### tired of that happening!

King Boo: *sigh* I'd better go return them.

King Boo leaves.

Jinx: I wonder what this game would be like if it were normal?

Yoshi: Yoshi think it would be better.

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy inflicts massive amounts of pain upon a certain someone.

Tribe Bowser

Bowser: I'm bored.

Bowyer: Bored we all are.

Bowser: What?

Bowyer: *sigh*

Bowser: Idiot.

Bowyer: Idiot I am not!

Bowser: Okay dude, I have no idea what you're saying, so...

Doopliss: Okay, look, it is really that hard?

Bowser: Um, yeah.

Doopliss: Then you're an idiot.

Bowser: No, I am not. I am KIIIIING!!!

Doopliss: So? That doesn't automatically make you smart.

Bowser: Yes it does.

Doopliss: How?

Bowser: No idea.

Doopliss: See?

Bowser: See what?

Doopliss: See... you're terrible at arguments?

Bowser: I am not! I am king!

Rawk Hawk: He is king!

Toad: He is king!

Bowyer: King he is!

Bowser: ... Way to break the trend, moron.

Doopliss: Who cares? It was a stupid trend anyway.

Bowser: Was not!

Doopliss: Yes, it was.

Bowser: Jerk.

Bowyer, Speach-Impaired Bow: Throw myself in the fire I might. Leave this game I would like to, because
crazy it is.

(The New) Tribe Yoshi

Anti Guy: What's taking him so long?

Jinx: He probably had to beat King Boo again.

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy kicks Chancellor.

Anti Guy: It isn't funny anymore, okay? In fact, it was never funny! NEVER!!!

Yoshi: Yoshi thought is was funny...

Day 15

King Boo: Up an at 'em, boys!

Jinx: Eh?

King Boo: We got an early tree mail. It's challenge time.

Jinx: Are the plants back?

King Boo: Duh. Just look around.

Jinx: ... Shut up.

King Boo: Ha ha. Anyway, let's get going!

Anti Guy: Bleh... I can't even think this early in the mourning!

Yoshi: Yoshi agree.

Jinx: Same here. What are they gonna do if we show up late anyway, disqualify us all or something?

Cameraman: Yup.

Jinx: ... Oh.

King Boo: Um, shall we head out, then?

Immunity Challenge

Lakitu: Come on in, guys!

The tribes do so.

Lakitu: All right, then. Welcome to today's challenge! I bet you're all very excited to be here so dog-on
early, huh?

Anti Guy: No, we aren't. Hurry up and tell us the rules.

Lakitu: ... Right. Well, it goes a little something like this...

As usual, the camera zooms around, showing the challenge props and setting while Lakitu speaks. It shows a large, open patch of sand littered with pairs of different objects. There are two white circles drawn on the sand, and hung over them is a fuse that leads to a jumble of straw, built tipi style.

Jinx: Well, I'm confused.

Lakitu: How are you confused? I haven't started the explanation yet!

Jinx: Well, I was watching the camera cruise around, and-

Lakitu: You can't see the camera zoom around, doofus! You're not watching the show!

Jinx: Oh. Right.

Lakitu: *ahem* Well, the challenge works like this. A pair of your tribemates will be linked together and
blindfolded, while another pair are just linked together. The remaining tribe member stands by themselves in the white circle, where he has to stay and act as the eyes of your two blindfolded guys. Under the watchperson's guidance, the blindfolded pair will scavenge around and look for parts of a trampoline, which is what you need to build in the white circle.

Anti Guy: That's stupid.

Lakitu: Anyway, the other two tribe members are going to be given a set of matches and will be required to
start a fire while the other tribe people get the trampoline pieces. Once all your pieces are recovered,
remove your blindfolds and shackles, and start building the trampoline. Once you do, grab a bit of your fire and use the trampoline to leap up and light your fuse. The first tribe to do so will win immunity.

Anti Guy: ... I still think it's stupid.

Lakitu: Good, then you can sit out for your tribe.

Anti Guy: I WHAT?! You little jerk!

Lakitu: That's what you get for being a little prissy ninny and complaining all the time. Live with it.

Anti Guy: ... I loathe you.

Lakitu: Hm... you didn't say "hate" this time. Trying to branch out a little, eh?

Anti Guy: Just shut up and start the challenge, bozo.

The camera magically transports the Survivors to where they're supposed to be, wearing the stuff they should (i.e, blindfolds and shackles).

Lakitu: Survivors ready...? Go!

Chancellor and Jinx, the fire makers from Tribe Yoshi, sprint off into the forest. Bowser and Rawk Hawk, the
fire makers from Tribe Bowser, sit and do nothing. Finally, just as Jinx and Chancellor return, Bowser and Rawk Hawk finally head off to grab stuff to burn.

Anti Guy: Hey! HEY! I have an idea, guys!

Jinx: What?

Anti Guy: RAFFY!

The plants suddenly disappear.

Bowser: What the-

Rawk Hawk: Where'd all the plants go?

Jinx: Awesome! That was freakin' brilliant, Anti Guy! Now we automatically win because they can't make

Anti Guy: I know. Ain't I great?

Lakitu: Well gee, Mr. Humble.

Anti Guy: You stay out of this!

Meanwhile, Toad and King Boo are barking orders at their tribe, who are successfully gather trampoline
pieces. On the last pair of pieces, Yoshi is accidentally conked in the head by a steel beam that Bowyer is carrying. Using his own beam. Yoshi angrily swings his own beam around in an attempt to smack Bowyer,
but misses and hits Crystal King instead. The flail ends up knocking him out.

Yoshi: Um, Crystal King? You okay?

King Boo: You knocked him out, Yoshi!

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy runs and tackles Chancellor.

Yoshi: Oh great.

Yoshi, carrying both steel beams and dragging the Crystal King, slowly makes it back to his circle.

Lakitu: Okay, Tribe Yoshi! You have all your pieces! Start building!

Jinx finishes building a firepit type thing, and lights it with a match.

Jinx: Aha! We've got flames!

While Tribe Yoshi builds their tramp, Tribe Bowser sits around doing nothing.

Doopliss: This stinks. We can't win.

Bowser: Oh ho! Are you sure?

Doopliss: Yes.

Bowser: Well I'm not! I'm going to go stir up some trouble.

Bowser lunges toward Tribe Yoshi's circle, Rawk Hawk following. Anti Guy confronts them on the way over and attacks Rawk Hawk, letting Bowser slip by. Just as soon as Tribe Yoshi finishes their trampoline, Bowser leaps into their circle and shoves King Boo out of the ring.

Lakitu: Tribe Bowser wins immunity!

Anti Guy: Say WHAT?! HOW?!

Lakitu: King Boo left your ring, which automatically disqualifies you.

King Boo: But he pushed me!

Lakitu: Aaaaaw... Why don't you call the WAAAAAAAAM-bulence?

King Boo: ...! ...! ...! Let's go. The idiocy levels are going to make me ill.

Lakitu: See you at Tribal, Team Jerk!

Slow motion ensues, accompanied with dramatic Survivor-esque music. King Boo hurls a coconut at the
camera as it watches them leave, shattering the camera.

(The New) Tribe Yoshi

King Boo, Boo King: Well, that challenge stunk. I really didn't want to vote anyone in this tribe out. Really! Honestly!

Yoshi, Food Tester: Anti Guy is going down. He annoys Yoshi.

Anti Guy, Pessimistic Shyster: Well, I have a vote from a previous Tribal, which isn't good. At all. If the former Tribe Lavalava joins forces and vote for me, I'm done. Which means we're going to have to recruit someone...

Jinx, Dojo Master: Well, it seems like I have two options: Stick with my old tribe mates and force a  tie, or join the the old Tribe Yoshi members and take out one of my former tribe members. It's tough, because I really really really don't like ties, and I'm not sure if anyone of them has a previous vote...

Chancellor, Chancellor: Indeed.

Crystal King, King of Crystals: Well, I think the votes are set, and we're ready to head out. If all goes well, my alliance will be one up!

Tribal Council

Tribe Yoshi enters and sits.

Lakitu: Well, well. This would be your first Tribal as (the New) Tribe Yoshi, wouldn't it?

Anti Guy: Duh.

Lakitu: Indeed. So, Crystal King, feeling vulnerable tonight?

Crystal King: Of course! Do you honestly expect me to say no? That's suicide, and you know it!

Lakitu: *shrug* You never know with this group.

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy: Must... fight... urge...

Lakitu: So, Anti Guy, how's camp life?

Anti Guy: Oh, it's great! Apart from all the insanity and the fact I BLOODY HATE IT.

Lakitu: Well... that's... um... great.

Anti Guy: No. No it isn't.

Lakitu: So, King Boo, how does this loss feel?

King Boo: It's terrible. This tribe seemed unbeatable. I'm not quite sure how we ended up losing.

Anti Guy: Well duh, it's because the fat lizard idiot cheated. Tonight I am so going to sneak over to their tribe and-

Lakitu: ANYWAY... Yoshi, at this point in the game, what to you base your votes on?

Yoshi: Yoshi not vote based on one thing. Yoshi base Yoshi's vote on lots of things. Usually. Actually,
tonight, Yoshi vote for someone who annoys Yoshi.

Lakitu: Swell. Now that I've asked you enough questions, it's time to vote. Yoshi, you're up.

Yoshi votes. His vote is for Anti Guy.

Yoshi (to camera): You annoying Yoshi. You should go bye-bye.

Jinx votes.

Chancellor votes.

King Boo votes.

Crystal King votes.

Anti Guy votes.

Lakitu: I'll go tally the votes.

Lakitu gets the votes and returns.

Lakitu: Right-o, then. Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted off will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. I'll read the votes.

Lakitu: First vote... Anti Guy.

Lakitu: Second vote... Anti Guy.

Lakitu: Third vote... Chancellor.

Lakitu: Fourth vote... Chancellor.

Lakitu: Fifth vote... Chancellor.

Lakitu: Sixth vote... Anti Guy.

Lakitu: And... WE'RE FREAKIN' DEADLOCKED. *sigh* Talk. Quickly.

Anti Guy: Vote Chancellor! All he does is say indeed!

Chancellor: Indeed.

Anti Guy: See?

Lakitu: Riveting. Now, everyone except Anti Guy and Chancellor revote. Now.

Yoshi votes.

Jinx votes.

Crystal King votes.

King Boo votes.

Lakitu: I'll get the votes.

He does.

Lakitu: ... I hate saying this... Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted off will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. I'll read the votes.

Lakitu: First vote... Anti Guy.

Lakitu: Second vote... Chancellor.

Lakitu: Third vote... Chancellor.

Lakitu: Fourth vote... Anti Guy.

Lakitu: TIES ARE FUN!!!

Anti Guy: Really?

Lakitu: No. Since we're in a complete deadlock, we look at previous votes. How many do you have, Chancellor?

Chancellor: Indeed.

Lakitu: Sorry. That's... not a number.

Jinx: He has none, Lakitu.

Lakitu: Okaaaay... And you, Anti Guy.

Anti Guy: ... ... ... ... ...




Anti Guy: ####!!! ####!!!!! ... ...
... One.

Lakitu: That's enough. Bring me your torch.

Anti Guy: Fine, fine... FINE!!!

Lakitu eliminates Anti Guy with his awesome snuffer, and the Shyster stalks off.

Lakitu: You can leave, now. I have nothing more to say to you guys.

They do, accompanied by the standard dramatic music.

Who Vote Who:

Yoshi: Anti Guy, Anti Guy
Jinx: Anti Guy, Anti Guy
Chancellor: Anti Guy, Anti Guy
King Boo: Chancellor, Chancellor
Crystal King: Chancellor, Chancellor
Anti Guy: Chancellor, Chancellor

Anti Guy (to camera): Well, blast everything! I hate it! I hate it all! I hate my tribe, this island, the ugly cameraman who's in front of me now, and I especially hate this game. And you. I hate you too. And YOU and YOU and YOU!!!

To Be Continued...

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