Chapter 9: Battle of the Brains
"Hey, Professor!" Sonic said. "How did you get here?"
"Never mind that right now, we're all in grave danger!" Gadd replied. "We need to get control of this ship, do you know where Robotnik is?"
"Well, he's probably hiding on the bridge, but I still don't get it; one minute nothing's there, and then you just appear out of nowhere! Not even I can move that fast!" Sonic said.
"Please, we need to hurry!" Gadd said.
"Well then, can you handle a couple of Gs?" Sonic asked.
"Yes, why do you ask?" Gadd asked in a puzzled manner.
"Then hold on tight!"
Sonic said as he grabbed the professor by the arm and started running towards
the bridge.
"The EggCarrier is too fast for us to catch!" Knuckles said. "These ships just don't have the speed required for a chase!"
"Well I'm sorry!" Ludwig said sarcastically. "When I designed zese zips, I zought we would ve fighting a giant sword, not zasing a battle zip zat was designed to fight a war by itself!"
Larry laughed at Ludwig and then mocked, "So you're admitting it, his design is superior to yours?"
"Ve glad zat you're not on zis zip!" Ludwig threatened. "And I was given only a few hours to design zem! You can't expect me to work under zese conditions!"
"Is there any way we can make these things go faster?" Luigi asked.
"Not really," Ludwig admitted. "We're puzing ze engines to zeir limits as it is!"
"Tails, Bowser!" Vector shouted into the radio. "Try and take out an engine or two!"
"We're on it!" Tails said.
"What part of Admiral Koopa is so difficult to understand?" Bowser complained.
Shadow started running towards Mario, then stopped about halfway.
What is he doing now? Mario thought to himself.
Shadow then jumped up and got behind Mario. Mario turned around only to be kicked in the back.
"How did he do that?" Mario asked himself aloud as he got back up.
"You should just let me finish you," Shadow said. "You pose no more threat to me than a gnat would, so just accept your fate."
"If I can stop Smithy, then why do you think one of his slaves can defeat me?" Mario said. "I'm not just about to give up after all I've been through!"
"Your overconfidence shall be your undoing!" Shadow said as he ran over towards Mario just like last time.
"You think the same trick will work on me twice?" Mario asked. "Let me show you what I've learned from a little friend of mine!"
Mario ran towards Shadow as well, and passed him up by just a few inches. Mario then pulled his arm back as far as he could, and shoved it into Shadow's stomach (or at least where he would have one if he was the real Shadow.) Shadow fell to his knees.
"That's called a Silver Bullet," Mario said calmly. "Courtsey of Jinx."
"Pathetic organic being!" Shadow yelled as he got back up. "You dare to strike me?"
"You're scrap metal!" Mario shouted as he jumped up and went into a spiraling downward kick. [For those of you the play Smash Bros, use his Down+A atttack while in midair to see what I'm talking about, because my description doesn't sound like it would be the same move as I want it to be.]
Shadow dodged with ease by jumping to the side. Shadow then used a sweeping kick to knock Mario down. Mario was hit, but he landed on his hands, and jumped up and towards Shadow. He stomped on Shadow, but the attack seemed to have little effect.
"Do you comprehend just what you're trying to do?" Shadow asked. "Machines are superior to beings of flesh in every way! We require no oxygen, we require no heat, we require no food! You, you require constant nourishment, sleep, food, water, you need to breathe every few seconds! And here you think you can defeat me! You organic beings never cease to amuse me!"
"Let me explain something to you, machines have just as many flaws as us 'organic beings’! While you may not age, you rust! You may not need to eat, but you need to be oiled! You may not require water, but you can't run without electricity! You think that you're superior? Evil will always be arrogant, and that is just one of the many reasons evil shall always fail!" Mario said. "I'll die before I let a world be ruled by evil! If you really think that I'm just going to sit back and watch the world end, then come on, just try and kill me!"
"You'll pay for those words!" Shadow said as he rushed towards Mario the same way he had when he knocked Mario to the ground from behind.
This time, Mario stood still, not turning around to watch Shadow, then, right as Shadow tried to kick, Mario grabbed him by the feet.
"Foolish move!" Shadow said as he turned on the rockets, burning Mario's hands, but as Shadow looked, he realized something. "Why aren't you burning? You're made of flesh! You should be ashes by now!"
Mario started to spin around as fast as he could, until he let go of Shadow, flinging him into the barrier. The barrier bounced him back, but overloaded his circuits in the process.
"How is it that I could be defeated so easily?" Shadow asked. "Before I shut down, I wish to know one thing... Why is it, that even though you know that they will eventually die, why do you still protect each other? It's in vain, and yet you'll jeopardize yourselves to preserve the function of another. Why?"
"Because, it's the right thing to do." Mario laughed. "What more reason do you need?"
"I've never seen the point in what you organic beings refer to as ethics, but it seems as that is the heart of your motives," Shadow said. "Truly, even as I diminish, I'm amused by you organics, and I must admit, your lack of logic never ceases to bewilder me. It's laughable, yet still, it's something that seems as though you enjoy it, it just doesn't make sense... Perhaps that is the difference between organics and machines... defying logic and gaining pleasure through protecting those that may someday make you obsolete. Aren't you ever worried that one of them might delete you?"
"Perhaps, but I think that's a chance I'll take," Mario said.
"I s-still don't under-erstand why you d-do it," Shadow said as he shut down.
"That is why you'll never win," Mario said. "Now how do I get out of here?"
Just then, Mario remembered that Shadow had mentioned having something of importance with him. Mario pulled out some wires, and eventually found the Power Stars.
"It's a good thing he
didn't know how do use these," Mario sighed, "or else I'd be the one lying
on the floor right now!"
The Tornado2 sliced through the air until it had caught up with the EggCarrier. Missiles launched from countless guns on the flying battle station, making Bowser and Tails have a hard time dodging all of them.
"So what exactly does the Tornado have?" Bowser asked. "Flamethrowers? Bombs? Maybe some napalm?"
"That would weigh it down too much and- wait a minute, did you just ask if I had a flamethrower equipped on an aircraft?" Tails asked.
"Yeah, why?" Bowser asked.
Tails sighed. "What purpose would a flamethrower have without getting in close enough for hand to hand combat? You'd have to get dangerously close for it to work!"
"Fighters!" Bowser shouted as he stared ahead.
"What was that?" Tails
asked, then he looked up ahead and noticed that Robotnik had stopped firing
from the EggCarrier and released an onslaught of robotic bees at them.
"Buzzbombers!"
"That ought to keep them busy," Robotnik said. "Shadow, have you taken care of Mario yet? Shadow? Shadow, report!"
Robotnik slammed his fist on the control panel. "Well, I guess I could just leave him in the barrier to rot away... that might take a while, though. But he should only last a couple of days without water."
Just then, he heard a banging on the door.
"Impossible! The barrier is still in tact, there's no way Mario could have gotten through it alive!" Robotik shouted.
After kicking down the door, Sonic came in and complained, "Hey, what's that supposed to mean? A new hero appears and I'm no longer able to stop you?"
"Sonic! But Wario said that he was keeping you busy!" Robotnik groaned. "Wait, never mind that, he probably jumped off after he saw how shiny the oil was, the moron!"
"Now, we fight!" said Gadd as he walked onto the bridge.
"Wait, what are you supposed to do, you're an old man!" Robotnik said.
"Does everyone in this universe have to point that out?" Gadd quirked. "Now you listen here, if you don't fight me in a competition, you'll have to fight Sonic in a battle!"
"You never mentioned a competition. Bring it on, old man!" Robotnik laughed.
"I trust you're familiar with the game of Chess?" Gadd asked with a smile.
"Why, yes, I have a Chess set down in the living quarters!" Robotnik laughed. "Just follow me."
The living quarters consisted of three rooms: Robotnik's bedroom, a swimming pool, and a small central room with a table and a chair.
"Not expecting much company, I see," Sonic pointed out. "Only one chair!"
"Not to worry," Gadd said, "I don't need to sit down to play. Just tell me where you move each piece in any form of notation."
"Fine then, are you black or white?" Robotnik asked.
"I'll take black. It's still your ship, so you should go first." Gadd said.
"So what are the stakes of this game?" Robotnik asked as he smiled sinisterly.
"First of all, if you lose, we get the Eggcarrier," Gadd said. "Secondly, if you win, you get the Coronus Engine. And finally, just to make things fun, whoever loses has to give up their trophies from their high school chess club!"
"If I can remember how many I even got..." Robotnik said as he pulled out his glass chess set.
"So how does the horse move?" Sonic asked.
"It's called a knight," Gadd said.
"So how does it move?" Sonic asked.
"Just watch and learn!" Gadd said. "I want to get control of the EggCarrier before we're inside of Exor."
"So why do we need the EggCarrier again?" Sonic asked.
"I've got a plan," Gadd
said. "Just trust me."
The buzzbombers fired at the Tornado and the Koopa Klown Kopter from every direction. Tails and Bowser had such a hard time dodging the blasts, that they couldn't even aim at the buzzbombers.
"What do we do?" Bowser asked.
"If I knew, don't you think you would have made some idiotic comment about being the admiral?" Tails mocked.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Bowser snarled.
"Just keep dodging them, we'll figure out something eventually!" Tails said.
"Forget that, it's BBQ time!" Bowser said, and then inhaled.
Bowser exhaled a sea of flames at the buzzbombers.
"Well, there's a surprise," Tails laughed.
"What?" Bowser snarled suspiciously.
"You actually did something useful!" Tails mocked.
"That's it! I'm having fried wolf for dinner tonight!" Bowser said as he tried to catch the Tornado with his fire breath.
"First of all, I'm a fox," Tails complained. "And besides, a copter has no chance of catching an airplane, so just focus on what we came here to do!"
Just then, another wave of buzzbombers appeared.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Tails asked.
"Give me a chance to catch my breath already!" Bowser shouted, then thought to himself, I can't believe it's come down to this! I, Bowser, the great Koopa King, am reduced to taking orders from a child!
"Fine! I'll hold them off! Get ready to fire on my mark!" Tails said as he fired his machine gun at the advancing buzzbombers.
Tails was able to take out about thirty of them before they were within range.
"On my mark," Tails repeated. "In three, two, one, now!"
Bowser exhaled, incinerating the buzzbombers with ease. Again, a wave of buzzbombers was released. However, this time a set of robotic eagles followed behind them.
"What are those?" Tails asked.
"Why are you asking me?" Bowser asked. "You're the one who's used to this kind of stuff!"
"Why do they follow so far behind, I wonder?" Tails said.
"Who cares? More firewood is all they are!" Bowser shouted.
After releasing a wave of flames, the buzzbombers were defeated, but the Eggles were unharmed.
"Tails, what's going on?" Vector asked. "Why haven't you guys slowed down the Eggcarrier?"
"We're having a bit of trouble getting there," Tails replied. "If you want to help, then please, don't hesitate!"
"Tails!" Ludwig shouted. "According to my calculations, ze Eggcarrier will reaz Exor in avout fifteen minutes! If we have to fight them voz at ze same time, I'm not sure if ze doomzips can handle it!"
"We're trying!" Tails said. "But there are five robotic eagles that seem to have more than enough armor to shield them from our attacks!"
"Lure zem over here!" Ludwig shouted.
"What? Are you sure?" Tails asked in a puzzled manner.
"Oh, don't worry, we've got somezing zat can wipe them out with one vlow!" Ludwig laughed, then shouted, "Load ze Vanzai Vill!"
Although Tails couldn't make out much, he heard comments from Ludwig's siblings complaining about doing so.
"Um, Bowser, what exactly is a Banzai Bill?" Tails asked.
Bowser roared loudly, and then complained, "We were supposed to use those to take out Exor!"
"Well, do you have any ideas on how we take out these things?" Tails asked.
"We can launch the standard Bullet Bills!" Bowser said. "That should work just as well!"
"It's worth a shot," Tails
said. "Let's do this!"
"You may start when you're ready," Gadd said.
"I'll open by advancing my pawn to queen four," Robotnik said.
[I'll post the game in
descriptive notation.]
| White I. E. Robotnik | Black E. Gadd | |
| 1 | P-Q4 | P-K3 |
| 2 | P-K4 | P-Q4 |
| 3 | N-QB3 | P-QB4 |
| 4 | N-B3 | N-QB3 |
| 5 | KPxP | KPxP |
| 6 | B-K2 | N-B3 |
| 7 | O-O | .... |
"What a shock!" Sonic said sarcastically. "Robotnik cheated!"
"What are you talking about?" Robotnik asked angrily. "That move was perfectly legal!"
"You moved the king two spaces!" Sonic said. "And you moved the castle thing on the same turn!"
"Rook," Gadd said. "And that's called castling, it's a fair move."
"I'll never understand chess," Sonic said. "And I'll bet that no one will remember it twenty years from now."
Gadd chuckled, trying to hold in a laugh, while Robotnik fell to the floor laughing hysterically.
"What's so funny?" Sonic asked.
"It's nothing," Gadd said
as he placed his hand over his king's bishop. "And I believe it is my turn."
| 7 | .... | B-K2 |
| 8 | B-KN5 | O-O |
| 9 | PxP | B-K3 |
| 10 | N-Q4 | BxP |
| 11 | NxB | PxN |
| 12 | B-N4 | Q-Q3 |
| 13 | B-R3 | QR-K1 |
| 14 | Q-Q2 | B-N5! |
"A good move, Professor, but I'm afraid that your strategy is outdated!" Robotnik laughed.
"No strategies are outdated." Gadd smiled. "It's just a matter of how you use them! I promise you, you will resign the game in eight turns!"
"I've never lost a game
in my life!" Robotnik bragged. "And I don't intend to allow you to be the
first to defeat me!"
| 15 | BxN | RxB |
| 16 | QR-Q1 | Q-B4 |
| 17 | Q-K2 | BxN |
| 18 | PxB | QxP |
| 19 | RxP | N-Q5! |
| 20 | Q-R5 | QR-KB1! |
| 21 | R-K5 | R-R3 |
| 22 | Q-N5 | RxB! |
"An excellent streak of
moves, but I've got you right where I want you!" Robotnik said as he reached
for queen's rook. "So much for me resigning next turn!"
| 23 | R-QB5 | .... |
"Certainly not a bad move," Gadd admitted. "But that doesn't save you."
"What do you mean?" Robotnik said. "There's no way you can force mate anytime soon!"
"I never said I would
force mate, I said you would resign!" Gadd said. "I will now finish this
game!"
| 23 | .... | Q-KN6!!! |
| 24 | Resigns | .... |
[An image of the board when Robotnik resigns.]
"Fine then!" Robotnik laughed. "I wasn't really happy working for Metal Sonic anyway!"
"Wait a minute!" Sonic said. "What just happened?"
"Well, you see," Gadd
started, "the only move that he could have done after that was take my
queen with his, which would have meant:"
| 24 | QxQ | N-K7ch |
| 25 | K-R1 | NxQch |
| 26 | K-N1 | NxR |
"Yes, and that would have left him ahead of me by a rook," Robotnik said bitterly.
"Couldn't you have just used a pawn to take the queen?" Sonic asked.
"Yes, but then he could have mated me either that turn or the next turn, depending on which pawn I used."
"So where's the radio on this ship?" Gadd asked. "We need to radio the others and tell them to prepare for our assualt!"
"Over here, just allow
me to recall the Eggles first," Robotnik said as he pressed a button.
"Hey, why are they retreating?" Tails asked.
"They're obviously afraid of angering the great King of the Koopas!" Bowser said.
"Can anyone hear me?" Gadd asked over the radio.
"Professor?" Luigi asked. "Gadd, is that you?"
"Luigi! I've got excellent news!" Gadd shouted happily. "We've now got control of the EggCarrier!"
"That voice sounds familiar," Knuckles said. "Hey! You're the one who got us back home!"
"Correct," Gadd said. "Now we have to stop Exor as quickly as possible!"
"I'll launch the Eagles as soon as they've refueled," Robotnik said. "That overgrown butter knife won't see what's coming!"
"No, we continue as before until we're right by Exor, I've got a plan to make this look as convincing as possible," Gadd said. "Increase altitude of the middle doomship by exactly twenty-three meters, decrease the altitude of the doomship on its starboard by 3.75 meters, and leave the other one as it is. Continue to chase the EggCarrier. Tails, lead Bowser on a delta-5 type pass around the port wing of the EggCarrier!"
"Delta-5? What's that supposed to mean?" Tails asked.
"Just circle the wing and fire at it!" Gadd said. "Bowser, follow his path directly behind him!"
Bowser cried, but did as Gadd said.
"Release the Eggles and tell them to narrowly miss Bowser and Tails," Gadd said.
"Can I leave out the part about missing?" Robotnik joked.
"No," Gadd said as he turned and glared at Robotnik. "Where's Mario?"
"Well, I guess I should
let him out now that we're allies." Robotnik sighed.
The barrier shut down, and Mario looked around cautiously before jumping down to the main deck. Below there, waiting for him was Sonic.
"Did you shut down that force field?" Mario asked.
"Actually, no," Sonic said. "That professor from your world has taken over the ship, and Robotnik is being forced to help us now!"
"Well then, looks like the only ones left are Smithy and Metal Sonic," Mario said. "And with the Power Stars on our side, we shouldn't have much trouble stopping them."
"Not exactly," Robotnik said as he came out to the deck. "They possess the Chaos Emeralds, as well as the Master Emerald."
"And to make matters worse, they have half of what they're really after," Gadd said. "Or, at least, they probably have it."
"You know something we don't," Mario said. "What are we trying to prevent?"
"Well, I'm not even sure if there's anything to worry about," Gadd said. "I'm probably just thinking it through a bit too much."
"You know that you're not paranoid," Mario said. "I can see it in your eyes, you're not worried about something that you think might happen, you're worried about something that you know will happen!"
"All right, while you and Sonic fought in the Koopahari Desert, a robotic Yoshi known as Roboshi attacked me," Gadd explained. "It asked what I knew about certain events, events that hadn't even occurred yet, as if it knew that they would occur. It asked where I kept the IDMET. The thing was, I’d never even heard of an IDMET until then, and it said that it was inevitable that its master would get the Cronus Engine and the IDMET. I knew what the Cronus Engine was, but I didn't mention it to Roboshi. I've known how to make the Cronus Engine for several years now, but I've never told anyone before I made it! The only possible way Roboshi could have known is if it or its master knew ahead of time what was going to happen, which could only mean... Smithy and Metal Sonic will get the Cronus Engine, it's the only way."
"Well, they certainly didn't know about you intervening, or else they would have had Roboshi kill you," Robotnik said. "And they obviously don't know about me betraying them."
"Are you serious?" Sonic asked. "You don't need to know about the future to know that you'd do anything to save your own skin!"
"That's right! There's only a minute left before we'll be within sight of Exor!" Gadd shouted. "We've got to hurry! Robotnik! Get some rope and meet us in the control room!"
"Rope?" Sonic asked. "Wait, you're not thinking of-"
"Actually, yes," Gadd said. "The three of us are going to be tied up momentarily."
"This does knot sound like a good idea," Sonic joked. "I mean really, trusting Robotnik to tie us up?"
"Well, let's get this
over with," Mario said. "After all, we've got quite a few loose ends to
tie up!"
A few moments later, everything was in position.
"Robotnik, did you succeed?" Exor asked.
"Did you really expect me to fail against those fools?" Robotnik laughed. "They're all wrapped up, all that's missing is the bow to place on top!"
"Well, Smithy will be happy," Exor said. "For once."
"Well, aren't you going to let me into the factory?" Robotnik asked.
"Come on then, make it quick!" Exor said as he opened his mouth.
As Robotnik started to advance the EggCarrier, Exor's top mouth began to glow.
"He's starting to fire a Corona blast!" Mario shouted.
"Robotnik, bank the EggCarrier to the left!" Gadd shouted.
"The EggCarrier is built for three things, speed, armor, and firepower," Robotnik explained. "Turning takes time, didn't you notice how long it took me to turn around towards Exor?"
"Well, I just hope that armor holds up then," Gadd said.
The blast hit the port wing, and took out one of the engines.
"One of the engines is down, and another badly damaged!" Robotnik said. "This means they knew this was going to happen!"
"That's it, I'm outta here!" Sonic said as he spin dashed in place to cut the ropes. "Let's do this."
"Wait, I've got a plan!" Mario said. "Robotnik, is the barrier a two way deal?"
"Yes, but why would... Oh, I get it." Robotnik laughed. "A simple plan, but it might actually work."
"We have to hold off a little bit longer!" Gadd said. "If we can give the doomships enough time to reach us, we shouldn't have too much difficulty getting into the factory."
"Easier said then done," Robotnik said. "If he takes out all the engines on either wing, then there will be no way for us to steer the EggCarrier. We'll be lucky to stay afloat without them."
"This thing can hover without the wings?" Gadd asked, surprised.
"Yes, but it would take so much fuel, it would fall in a matter of minutes," Robotnik explained.
"Tails, Bowser, draw Exor's attacks away from the EggCarrier," Gadd said. "Mario and Sonic will help you!"
"And what are we to do?" Robotnik asked.
"Simple, you tell the Eggles to stop acting, and attack Exor," Gadd said.
"Right," Robotnik said as he took the radio from Gadd. "All port, starboard, and bow cannons, open fire on Exor! All fighters, escort the EggCarrier with Divine Wind formation!"
"Divine Wind formation?" Gadd echoed. "Do you mean that the Eggles are meant for kamikaze missions?"
"Not really, but Divine Wind formation
means that they'll form a shield in front of the EggCarrier, and they'll
take any type of shots that get fired at us."
Mario jumped back up to the top of the bridge, while Sonic ran up the wall to reach it.
"Let's hope this works!" Sonic said.
"Agreed," Mario concurred. "And go for the eyes."
Mario held up his hand as he charged up a FireBrand. While Mario was charging it up, Sonic jumped up and homed in on Exor. Exor took a hit to the left eye, and Sonic jumped back. Exor inhaled, and then exhaled a blizzard. The attack knocked Sonic back, and extinguished Mario's FireBrand.
"I don't remember him being able to do that," Mario said.
"Maybe it's time you used those Power Stars," Sonic suggested.
"I've got a better idea," Mario said. "How about you use them?"
"What? We're not even sure what type of effect they'll have on me," Sonic said.
"If I turn metal, it'll only hinder my ability to jump. However, if I throw something metal, it should travel farther because of its weight," Mario explained. "I'm no professor, but basic physics says that velocity is equal to mass plus speed, and if we can increase your mass, then-"
"You can use me as a living bullet," Sonic said. "Well, I've got nothing better to do."
Mario tossed the Power Stars to Sonic, giving him the powers of the Metal Cap. Mario grabbed Sonic by the legs,spun around as fast as he could, and then let go of Sonic, hurling him at Exor. The right eye went down with a single blow.
Exor laughed, then said, "I don't need to defeat you fools to be victorious, I simply need to destroy your little ship."
Exor then blinked his right eye. A bolt of lightning struck the damaged engine.
"This isn't looking good, and what happened to that force field?" Mario complained.
"Yes, about that, the force field is powered by a reactor that's right between the wings," Robotnik explained over the radio. "When the Corona blast hit the engines, it created a chain reaction that short circuited the force field."
"Nice going," Sonic said. "If you’re such a genius, why didn't you think to create something to protect the ship from chain reactions, some unheard of machine like, oh, maybe you could call it a surge protector!"
"Well if you're the expert, then why don't you build it next time?" Robotnik argued.
"Not now, you two!" Gadd said. "There's no way we're going to last long enough for the others to reach us!"
"You're right," Robotnik said. "There's no way that the Eggles can block a blizzard, or a bolt of lightning."
"True, but let's do something Exor doesn't expect then," Gadd said. "Tell the Eggles to attack Exor kamikaze style! Set the EggCarrier's forward engines to full!"
"You mean the Eggles, right?" Robotnik asked nervously.
"No, we're going to crash their little party in there," Gadd said as he snatched the radio back from Robotnik's hands. "Mario, Sonic, brace yourselves, and prepare for a crash landing!"
As Exor saw what was happening, he had one last thing to say. "I don't get paid enough for this."