Prologue: Mecha Evil
Somewhere in an underground facility...
???: How could both of you fail me?
Grodus: It wasn't our fault. A stupid, red-hatted plumber named Mario appeared at our times of triumph and foiled us.
Smithy: What he says is true. Both of us would've succeeded if we'd have known of his power, and...
???: SILENCE!!! Look at you both. You're nothing but heads!!! You're worthless. It's time I recycled you.
Grodus: NOOOOO!!! Give us one more chance. Please!
Smithy: We'll take care of him.
???: Fine! One more chance. If you fail me you're both dead, and you'll receive no help from me.
Smithy: You're never any help...
???: What was that, Santa? It looks like you're anxious to tell me something.
Smithy: What? Ah...ha ha... n-n-no. Of course not.
???: GET STARTED!!!
The mysterious creature disappears, and Grodus and Smithy exit the room.
Grodus: What are we supposed to do now?
Smithy: Don't worry. I have a plan.
???: I'd better not take any chances...
Chapter 1: The Mysterious Map
Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, and Peach are all relaxing in Delfino Plaza, celebrating the anniversary of defeating Bowser there. There's a twenty-foot-tall golden trophy there in Mario's likeness. Why is Luigi there? I dunno. They probably couldn't shake him.
Luigi: You think that the trophy they gave Mario is big enough?
Peach: He did save the entire island from destruction.
Mario: Uh-huh.
Yoshi: Yoshi no get reward. Yoshi helped too...
Just then, 20 Piantas bring in a gigantic fruit platter with fruits from bananas to plantains and so on.
Yoshi: !!! Yoshi!!!
The next moment is hard to describe. In a matter of seconds the fruit was inhaled, Piantas went missing, and Isle Delfino lost elevation, causing it to flood.
Yoshi: Yoshi still hungry!!!
Mario: Hey! Where's my trophy?
Peach: Not another flood...
Mario: How did you know that this place flooded before?
Peach: Uhh... I forget. I think some lame spinoff of Lemmy told me.
Mario: ... Oh.
An airplane flies in, skids to a stop on the water, and the door opens...
Mallow: Hey Mario! It's me, Mallow!!!
Mario: Huh...
Toad: I'm here too.
Mario: Oh, hi Toad.
Toad: Look at what I found...
Toad pulls out a very old-looking piece of paper.
Mallow: It appears to be a map that leads to some kind of treasure.
Luigi: Can I see it?
Toad: No! It's mine!!! You can't have it!!! You'll never catch me!!!
Luigi chases Toad, wrestles him to the ground (after catching him), and takes the map.
Luigi: It seems to lead to the center of Plit's ocean. Doesn't that place have some weird, dangerous waters?
Peach: Yeah. Like the Bermuda Triangle.
Mario: What's that?
Peach: Well... uhh...
Yoshi: You no make sense.
Toad: We should probably take a plane instead of a boat because of the waters.
Mallow: There aren't any available...
Mario: What about the one you came here in?
Mallow: Oh, righ...
A meteor appears in the background, and smashes the plane.
Mallow: ...t...?! Well, drat. Now we have to go by boat. We'd better prepare ourselves.
Mario: Who ARE you?
Mallow: *sniff*... *sniff*... *sniff*...
Chapter 2: The End of the Beginning:
All of the Koopalings are engaging in their normal stuff...
Roy: Hey, Iggy! Do you want your glasses back?
Iggy: Yeah!
Roy: Well keep on wantin'.
Iggy: AUUUGGGGGGHHHH!!!
Wendy: (When will I grow hair?)
Ludwig: My latest invention is complete!
Morton: Really?! What is- mmmpphh!
Ludwig: When I press this button, it'll Super Glue duck-tape to your mouth, and when I press it again it'll rip it off.
Morton: ...!
Larry: Oh no! Megasmilax has been whacked! Who could've done this to my prized plant?
Lemmy: Must... read... all... Email...
Iggy: (to a lamp) Hey Lemmy! Are you all right? You've been standing there for the past three years since Roy took my glasses.
Wendy grabs the glasses from Roy, and puts them on Iggy's head.
Iggy: Hey! Where'd he go?
Lemmy: I... re...mem...ber... what... I... was... a...bout... to... do...I still have to post that story about two mechanical guys trying to kill Mario. It was pretty stupid, but I'm sure everyone will read it anyway.
Wendy: He's finally back to normal! It's been two months, but he's actually with us now!
Meanwhile with Bowser...
Bowser: Ugh... There's nothing left for me to do. All of my plans for attacking the Mushroom Kingdom failed. If I make a truce now, I'll look stupid.
Kamek: (Everyone already knows that you're stupid.) You're right, sir.
There's a knock on the door, and in walks a familiar, ugly face...
Lord Crump: I was sent here by Grodus to form an alliance. Ahem...
Bowser: Who's this loser? Oh... wait. You're that X-Naut guy. I hate them. Go away.
Crump: Wuzzat? Oh, them. You shouldn't ever have to deal with them.
Bowser: If it weren't for the fact that I'm desperate, I'd say "no". All right, go ahead.
Crump: Grodus wishes to join his technology and intelligence with your army and power, so that we can takeover the Mushroom Kingdom.
Bowser: What's in it for me?
Crump: What? Oh, I don't know. You'll have to see Grodus for that.
Bowser: All right. Take me to your leader.
Crump: Okay, follow me.
Everyone leaves the room.
Chapter 3: All in Preparation
Mario and Friends are back in Toad Town preparing for their trip. Mario and Luigi are picking up items from a local store and their house. Peach and Toad are at the docks, trying to find a good boat. Yoshi and Mallow are getting a lot of food for the journey. Yoshi actually doesn't eat any of it. No one seems to notice either.
Peach: How's this one, Toad?
Toad: Yeah, that should be good enough.
Boat Owner: Aye! That be the best boat in this town, Marioetta. The Marioetta.
Toad: How much?
Boat Owner: Rentals are 200 coins an hour, 1,200 coins a day, or 7,000 coins a week.
Peach: We'll buy it for... 1,000,000 coins!
*Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!*
Princess Peach pulls out a huge brown bag full of coins. A ray of light shines down on Princess Peach's sack of money.
A Fisherman: S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sol-d.
The fisherman passes out, and Princess Peach lays the coins on top of him.
Meanwhile...
Mario: Okay, Luigi. That-a should be about it-a.
Luigi: Let's go-a find the others. We'll-a wait for them there.
Meanwhile...
Mallow: Is that it for the food?
Yoshi: Yoshi no know.
Mallow: Well, it should be enough. We'll be stopping at other islands. Let's go back to the square and wait for the others.
Yoshi: Okay.
In a few minutes, they're all back in Toad Town Square.
Peach: We got a boat. Why don't you drop our supplies off there, and then we can meet up at the castle and spend the night there before leaving?
The rest nod in agreement.
It is now mid-evening in the Mushroom Kingdom. The Marios, Mallow and Yoshi, and Peach and Toad all have their own rooms. Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi are in the dining room having one last wild binge of food, Peach and Toad are in their room discussing what might be ahead, and Mallow is writing in a journal or something. I think he always has one of those while traveling.
Toad: I think I'm gonna go to bed.
Peach: Me too.
Toad: It's been a while since we went on an adventure.
Peach: Yep. See you in the mornin'.
Toad: Good night.
In the dinning room...
Luigi: How can-a Mario eat that-a much?
Mario: How can-a Yoshi eat that-a much?
Yoshi: How can-a... Axem Yellow eat that-a much?
Luigi: I think I'll turn in for tonight. I'm too disgusted to eat.
Mario and Yoshi don't answer back. They just keep on eating. In fact, they eat so much that they pass out, and Luigi hadsto carry both of them to bed with him.
In Mallow and Yoshi's Room:
Mallow's voice: Dear Diary, I mean Journal,
It seems like Mario still doesn't remember me. I hope it's just amnesia or stupidity or something. I'm determined to make him remember. Even more than I want to find that treasure. It looks like there's a long road ahead of us.
Good Night,
Prince Mallow I
The next day, the six adventurers say
their farewells and set sail.
Chapter 4: Deception
Somewhere in an above ground facility...
Grodus: Smithy, you have to hide. Bowser hates you, remember? He won't cooperate if he sees you. He's vital to our plan... for now.
Smithy: Since when is it our plan? In the Prologue I said, "I have a plan," remember?
Grodus: No. (Yes.)
Smithy: Let's have a flashback on the monitor.
A giant plasma screen TV appears, and Smithy puts the tape in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
???: GET STARTED!!!!
The mysterious creature disappears, and Grodus and Smithy exit the room.
Grodus: What are we supposed to do now?
Smithy: Don't worry, I have a
plan.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grodus: Hmm... Something is odd about you. Well anyway, he'll be here any minute, so hide.
Smithy: All right.
Smithy breaks out a lampshade and puts it on top of his head. He also attaches a light bulb to his crown, and since he's a robot, it actually lights up. He looks disturbingly similar to a lamp.
Grodus: Perfect!
Some X-Naut loser walks in.
X-naut Loser: Bowser's at the front door. Let him in?
Grodus: Yes. Show him to the VIDEO CONFERENCE ROOM! I'll be there soon.
Smithy waddles to the VIDEO CONFERENCE ROOM, not wanting to be left out. Grodus teleports there.
Smithy: By the way, are you gonna tell him the whole story?
Grodus: No.
Smithy: Good. Let's make it look like we, well you, want revenge.
Grodus: Right.
Back with Bowser...
Crump is taking his time leading Bowser, Kamek, Kammy, and... Bob Dole (or a Yoshi since they talk just like Bob Dole) through a complicated array of hallways. To Bowser's displeasure, there are two Elite X-Nauts on either side of Crump.
Bowser: When do we get there?
Crump: Oh, it takes a while...
Bowser: I'm starting to lose my patience.
Kammy: Hey, when'd I get here?
Bowser: Kammy, you followed me as always. The more important question is, (pointing at Bob Dole) how'd this guy get here?
Kamek: I forget.
"Bob Dole": Bob Dole likes your style. Bob Dole could get along with you. Bob...
Several hours later...
Grodus: Where are they? Computer!
TEC-ABC: Here, sir.
The monitor shows an unconscious Bowser, Kammy, Kamek, Crump, and two X-Nauts, and a semi coherent Bob Dole.
Grodus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Grodus goes back in time and teleports everyone (sorta) to the VIDEO CONFERENCE ROOM.
In the VIDEO CONFERENCE ROOM, Smithy is still in his disguise's disguise. The room itself is enormous, and has a table with several big chairs. Grodus and everyone (besides Smithy) sits down except for the two X-Nauts, who do their stupid X-shaped salute and leave.
Grodus: All right. Let's get down to business.
Crump: Hey, Boss! Since when did you get your body back? How did you even get it back? And for that matter, when did Smi-
Grodus clunks Crump on the head with his scepter, knocking him down two floors.
Bowser: Smi?
Grodus: Oh... um... Mr. Smith. Our CEO was in a terrible accident, and we had to piece his body back together.
Bowser: ? Um... all right.
Grodus: Main point is, I'm low on forces, but you have a lot, yes?
Bowser: Well... yeah.
Grodus: And I can come up with the best of plans in no time at all because I can rewind time, but mostly because I'm smart.
Bowser doesn't answer.
Grodus: You and your offspring, along with your forces, would be unstoppable with the right planning.
Bowser: Okay.
Grodus: Just do what I say and we'll takeover in no time!
Bowser: !
Grodus: Don't worry. We'll takeover as equals.
Bowser: All right. You've got yourself a deal.
Bowser shakes Grodus's hand.
Smithy: Yay!
Everyone except Smithy: ?!
Grodus: Oh... That lamp is always on the fritz. In fact, sometimes you have to throw it off the 100th floor to get it to stop.
Grodus throws Smithy out the window.
Smithy: Good thing I'm an expert on falling from high places.
BOOM!!!
Obviously, Smithy lands.
Grodus: Anyway, Mario is searching for some dumb treasure. We've anticipated his route. We'll call when we need you. Buh-bye.
Grodus shoves everyone out the door and out the exit to the building.
Grodus: That was too close. CRUMP! Get your worthless self in here.
Crump: Uh...huh...
Crump remains in his position, still out of it from his beatdown.
Grodus: ZAP!!!
Crump gets ZAP!!!ed.
Crump: All right. I'm coming.
Later...
Crump: I'm here.
Grodus: Crump, you're a cramp. Listen. I want you to follow Mario at all times. You can use the X-Naut submarine, and select 20 units of your choice. Get going.
Crump: All right. And with that, Pow... I'm gone!
Crump leaves, and Smithy comes.
Smithy: Hi, Grodus.
Grodus: ZAP!!!
To Be Continued...
Hi, readers. It is I, Lemmy's Evil Counterpart. You may be wandering where Mario and Co. are going. You may be wandering what Grodus is thinking. Who's ???. Just how dumb is Smithy? Too bad. Wait and find out. Unless this is later, in which you can hit "Read On" and read on.
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