"I hereby call the first meeting of the National Association of Villainous Arch-Nemeses to Losers, or NAVAL, to order," says Bowser, who is standing at a podium. A large crowd of villains from the Mario series (as well as a few from other series Mario has appeared in) sits in front of him in folding chairs. "All right, when I call on you, stand up and tell us what you have done to defeat Mario. Okay, you in the blue hat."
"I tricked him into fighting an invincible cataclysm," says Beldam, standing up. "Unfortunatly, just as she was about to destroy that plumber the Crystal Stars made her vulnerable and he beat her in an epic showdown."
"All right. You, the clown."
Rudy stands up and says, "I once attacked with viruses, but he alligned with Wario and defeated me."
"I see. Waluigi?"
"I-a once locked him in a room-a and tossed hammers-a at him but it-a barely failed-a."
"Purple alien guy?"
"I used Wario's jealousy to sneak-attack Mario when he came for a final coin to save his castle, but was defeated. I later tried to take over Earth using some guy but failed because of Mario's interference," says Tatanga before sitting down.
"Annoying bean-thing?"
"I used your body to eat the Mario Bros, but they defeated my spirit and I had to run back to where Fawful had a spare body hidden in a lab," replies Cackletta sternly before sitting down.
"Aggravating older brother of mine?"
"I once got the king to sleep on a cloud in hopes of flooding the kingdom. Mario stopped me," replies Wart to his younger brother.
"Head-thingy?"
"I attempted to release the cataclysm that Beldam spoke of earlier. You see how that turned up for me," Grodus's head answers.
"Pirate chick?"
"I've never fought this Mario fella," replies Captain Syrup.
"Then what are you doing here?"
"I was here for whenever we meet over Wario."
"Well, you have to have fought Mario to be in the NAVAL. You've got four weeks, since that's when our next meeting will be and Wario's the subject of that one."
"Got it," replies Syrup. "Unlike the rest of you, I won't just attempt to beat that thar sorry plumber, but I'll do it, too!"
"And how-a is that?" asks Waluigi, standing up.
"Simple. Unlike everyone here but you, Waluigi, I am human, like Mario, so I have the exact same abilities he does!"
"They why'd I fail-a, then?"
"Because you're stupid."
And with that, Captain Syrup leaves the building. She then comes back in, grabs a chest she'd brought with her (since pirates don't carry purses- seriously, that's her explanation for that), and leaves again.
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It is daylight a few days later at Peach's castle. Mario and Luigi are playing a doubles tennis game against Peach and Daisy. Little do they notice that Syrup is watching them through a bush.
"All right, now I've just got to find a way to find out how to regularly spy on them. If only I had a disguise to appear as someone he'd trust..."
"Well-a, I suggest looking-a through his old photos at his house-a."
Syrup gasps and turns around, seeing Wario standing over her eating a donut. With the thief's free hand she is grabbed by the neck and brought face-to-face with him.
"You-a planning on trying to destroy-a me again?!"
"No," replies Syrup, gasping for air, "I'm going to destroy that nimrod Mario so that I can destroy you later."
"Oh, okay-a."
Wario throws Syrup to the ground and walks off. Syrup stands up and brushes herself off. "I guess I should sneak into his house."
Syrup runs away. Immediately afterwards, Wario comes running back after having let it sink in as to what Captain Syrup is planning.
"Where'd-a she go?"
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|The Old Girfriend|
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Syrup is seen sitting on Mario's bed, looking through an album. She sighs. "Almost all of these are just pictures celebrating beating villains! Isn't there something- hello..."
She says this as she reaches a picture of Mario standing next to Pauline. DK Sr. sits in a cage behind the two.
"Hmm... This isn't Peach, so I could disguise myself as this girl right here! Brilliant!"
2 days later...
Mario and Luigi are sitting on their steps talking to Princess Peach, who is sitting nearby in a chair. As they talk, the warp pipe in front of their house begins to move a little bit. Out of it comes Syrup, wearing a pink dress and a blond wig.
"Huh? Is that- Is that-a you, Pauline?" asks Mario.
"Yeah, it's me alright. Heh heh," replies Syrup nervously, carefully hiding her slight accent.
"But you're-a from Earth! How'd you get-a here?"
"I was... um... taking a shower! Yeah... and I... uh... reached down for the soap I'd dropped and wound up here! Yeah... that's it."
"Okay then-a. Peach, this is my old girlfriend-a."
Peach stares angrily at Syrup for two reasons: one reason is because she seems painfully suspicious. More importantly, however, she doesn't like it that her man's ex-girlfriend is suddenly around.
"So... uh... what kind of thing do you do nowadays?"
"I-a save places and stuff-a. I've fought-a just about every major villain-a on Plit, except Captain-a Syrup and a few others-a."
"Oh, really? And who is sh- umm, err, he?"
"It's a she-a. She's just some pirate wannabee-a."
"Pirate wanna- now you listen he- um, err, I mean, she sounds super lame."
"Yeah. She-a is."
"So... uh... do you know of anywhere I could stay until I find a way to get back to that place... uh... um..."
"Earth?" asks Peach suspiciously.
"Yeah! That's it! Earth! So, do you know of anywhere?"
"We have this extra room in our basement-a," replies Luigi.
"Good. I appreciate it."
Luigi and Mario go to show "Pauline" the room while Peach stares angrily after her. That night, Mario and Luigi are sleeping while Syrup sits in the basement, sharpening a butcher knife.
"I can't believe that no one else has thought to try this," she says while practicing thrusting it. "It should be interesting to see how things unfold."
Syrup goes up onto the ground floor. She goes into Mario's room and, as she's about to impale him using her knife, is suddenly tackled by Peach, who was waiting from the ceiling. The knife lands at their feet, and is kicked under the bed by Peach.
"I'll teach you to try to steal my man!"
Peach begins punching "Pauline" repeatedly with fury and strength behind every fist. Syrup kicks Peach off and attempts to crawl away but is again jumped onto by the princess. Peach begins to choke her adversary and then begins beating the woman's head onto the floor. The wig falls off as a result.
"You're Captain Syrup! And here I was thinking that it might've been Wendy O. Koopa or something! Oh well, you still tried to kill him so... you die!"
Peach reaches under the bed and grabs the knife. Just as she is about to take out Syrup, the pirate manages to kick Peach into the wall and jumps up, running for her life out of the house.
"I'll get you for this, Toadstool!"
_________
|The DVDs|
_________
"All right, that was a bust," says Syrup a few hours later, while resting on a rock inside a Pirate's Grotto-like cave near the Lavalava Island. "Okay, what shall I do next?"
"I have a suggestion."
Syrup gasps and turns around, this time seeing the Game Mage himself, Kamek.
"What is it with people appearing behind me like that?!"
"Well, I was here anyway collecting ingredients for a potion. Anyway, I got just what you need to defeat Mario once and for all."
Kamek pulls out a DVD case and hands it to Syrup.
"Just get him to watch this DVD and it'll kill him and anyone else watching it just one minute later! It will only work once, however, so you have to be sure that it works the first time. It's only two minutes long, though, so it shouldn't be too hard."
"I see. What do you expect to get out of this?"
"Nothing. I just want to be known as the main reason behind the defeat of that pesky plumber. Of course, I could have beaten him on my own back in my prime easily but... I'm just too old to do that now."
"I get it. All right then, consider it done! And then we'll both be known as the greatest villains Plit has ever known!"
"Believe me, child, I already have such a title among many who are old enough to recall my old days. This is just my way of carrying on my legacy into the younger generations."
The next day...
Syrup walks into Mario's yard wearing the blond wig from before, along with a pink dress and makeup, resembling Peach. Peach is currently in the Beanbean Kingdom for an overnight trip, unbeknownst to Mario, so she knows that this will make it seem as though she is Peach. She knocks on the door, which is answered by Luigi a few seconds later.
"Hello, Peach-a."
"Oh... Hello... um... uh... Luigi. I brought a DVD that I think we should watch."
"Can't right-a now. We're busy eating-a. Why-a don't you join us-a?"
"Um... okay, but we HAVE to watch the DVD right afterwards, okay?"
"Sure-a!"
Syrup goes inside and eats with the two (though she practically has to force down all of the Mushrooms, pasta, pizza, etc. because of what she is used to eating) and afterwards hands them the DVD.
"Can you two go ahead and get this started? I've gotta go use the bathroom but I don't mind missing the first few minutes."
"You-a got it!" replies Mario. "Peach" goes into the bathroom and cackles silently at the thought of what is about to happen. She puts her ear to the wall and watches her watch (sure, no hourglass?) until two minutes are up. She goes out and sees the two of them.
"That-a was it? It-a was short," says Mario to Syrup.
"Yeah, well, I guess that I must have accidently brought that DVD I made on the computer instead."
"It-a happens," says the younger of the two twins to Syrup.
Syrup waits around for another minute. At directly one minute after the movie ended both Brothers... stub their toes on a table. Syrup bids them farewell and leaves silently. Outside, she pulls out a cell phone and calls the Game Mage.
"What was up with that?! It didn't kill them, they just stubbed their toes!"
"Ohhhhh... So THAT's why the company I had last night had a heart attack. Whoops, I must've gotten the DVDs mixed up."
"I don't think that that constitutes a 'whoops'. I think it is more of a 'where do we put the body' kind of thing."
"Ah, I resurrected him. Still, it's too bad that these DVDs have the side effect of not affecting someone who has already seen one of them."
"Ugh!"
_______________
|The Mushrooms|
_______________
Two days later, Syrup and Kamek are sitting in the same cave as before, reading through numerous spellbooks. After some searching, they close the books. Syrup sighs.
"Well," starts the Game Mage, "I can think of another type of magic that you might be able to use. It is, however, rather dangerous to all involved."
"Well, what is it?"
"It's this special type of Mushroom found on Earth in a special forest within Japan that makes the person who consumes it a different age depending upon its height. If, for example, you were to get him to eat a 6-centimeter Mushroom, he would become six years old."
"That would certainly make that plumber a lot easier to kill..."
"Indeed it would. However... the Mushrooms are rare and the forest in which they're found is very desolate. Luckily, I believe I have a few back in Li'l' Fungitown."
"That's good to know. So, could you bring me those? I know of the perfect opportunity: Peach's banquet tonight! I could easily sneak in and trick him into eating one."
"Good idea. I could use some cloaking magic to get us both in. Actually, I could probably manage to get in anyway since I helped with that thing in the Beanbean Kingdom but... as for you, we need a disguise."
Kamek waves his wand and Captain Syrup turns into a female Koopa resembling him slightly.
"What?! Couldn't you have just changed my hair color, face, and outfit?!"
"Well, it would make a lot more sense for me to be there with a relative than some girl no one's ever seen. We'll say that you're my niece."
"I see. Well, let's go get those Mushrooms and get ready!"
"Indeed. However, I must warn you- the slightest bit of magical influence upon you will cause the spell's effects to be broken. In other words, even if you eat one of those Mushrooms that would make you the same age as usual, you'd turn back into yourself."
"Well, I HIGHLY doubt that anything like that will happen."
"Well, it is still best for you to know. Let's get going then, shall we?"
That night the two arrive at Peach's castle for the banquet. Amazingly enough Peach is actually willing to allow any random passersby into her castle during things like this, meaning that Kamek and Syrup, or "Koopatherin", as she is going by, have their job significantly easier. They go inside, where Peach stands at the door, greeting her guests. Once inside, Kamek pulls out a small bag containing the smallest Mushroom he has and the two begin to look for Mario.
They walk around for about an hour until they finally spot him talking to Prince Peasley in a corner.
"So, what you're saying is that we should form a treaty in which we help the Mushroom Kingdom economy and in return receive the assistance of the Mushroom Military any time we need it? Interesting... I'll throw the idea at my mother and see what she thinks," says Peasley as the two "Koopas" walk up.
Kamek turns to Mario and says, "Hey there. Yeah, this here is my niece Koopatherin, and we got you a gift as an apology for the whole abduction thing."
He reaches into the sack and pulls out a Mushroom that is exactly one centimeter tall. Mario takes it willingly (since he doesn't believe Kamek is evil anymore, judging from M&L and MPA) and is about to eat it when someone walking by trips and hits Mario from behind, knocking the Mushroom out of his hand and directly into "Koopatherin's" mouth, which is open from anxiousness.
Syrup immediately returns to normal, catching everyone's attention, and then begins shrinking. She finally reaches one year old, appearing basically the same only with much shorter hair and smaller clothes (and, of course, a differently shaped body and head). She wears a shirt similar to what she wears as an adult but has a diaper instead of her pants. Kamek sighs, turns around, and walks out of the building with Syrup crawling beside him. As soon as they get out the door, Peach smacks Syrup real quick, realizing what she was up to from the start.
"You might as well just give up!" yells Toadstool as the two disappear from sight.
__________________
|The Holiday Special|
__________________
The next day Syrup, back to her normal age, is sitting on a rock tapping her foot inside the same old cave. Kamek sits in a folding chair next to her.
"All right, what now?" asks Kamek, sighing. "It seems that every time we're about to beat him some outside force stops us."
"Yeah," replies Syrup. "I actually had him beat the first time I tried, but that stupid princess... I'm beginning to think that I should focus on Peach instead, what with her causing me to fail at killing Mario in what was otherwise a fool-proof plan and then what she did last night... Then there was the DVD, which would've worked had you not gotten the DVDs mixed up."
"If only we had a second chance to use the DVDs..."
"I have something similar... in fact, assuming that Mario's a fan of Star Wars, which I think he is, it should work perfectly! Yes... I can't believe I didn't think of it before!"
"What is it?"
"Have you ever heard of that Star Wars Holiday Special they only showed one time? Well, I found a tape of it at a yard sale a few years back while visiting Earth and got it for free for buying a DVD of The Green Mile. Whenever I watched that holiday special it was so horrible that I considered suicide, so imagine what it would do to an actual fan of it!"
"Brilliant! We've got that portly plumber this time!"
"Yeah! And let's go ahead and get that pitiful princess too!"
Later that night, Peach goes to Mario and Luigi's house to watch a few movies. Of course, Captain Syrup and Kamek are not too far behind.
"All right, I suggest that we use more disguise methods," whispers Syrup to her accomplice. Syrup then removes her cap, let's her hair go, and says to Kamek, "Now make it to where I'm in a yellow dress and have a crown."
Kamek does so, making Syrup look identical to Princess Daisy. The pirate captain stands up and knocks on the door to Mario's "Pad", then steps back and pulls out the tape. The door is answered by who else but Peach.
"Hey there, 'baby sister'. I heard that you all were watching movies tonight and figured that I'd let you borrow one of my personal favorites. I think you'll like it," says Syrup as she hands the VHS to Peach.
"Oh... thanks. We'll be sure to watch it."
"All right. Keep it as long as you want, just don't lose it!"
"We won't. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Peach closes the door. Right afterwards Syrup pulls her cap back out as Kamek changes her back to normal with his magic. Syrup then puts her cap back on and pulls her hair back behind her.
"Now we just have to wait for the fireworks."
The two sit outside the window and wait for them to watch the movie... and wait... and wait... and wait. Finally, they fall asleep. The next morning Syrup wakes up to find herself in the Daisy outfit again. Kamek sits nearby, playing Yoshi Touch & Go (he IS the Game Mage, after all).
Syrup yawns and sits up. "I take it you went ahead and used your magic so we could see how it went."
"Yep," replies Kamek. A few seconds later he yells out, "Yeah, high score! Take that, me!"
"I see someone's energetic in the mornings... Ugh."
Syrup pulls herself to her feet and goes inside, finding the three laughing like hyenas at the Star Wars Holiday Special.
"No wonder you like this movie!" Peach says to "Daisy". "It's so bad that it's hillarious!"
"Heh heh... yeah."
"Anyway," Peach says, "I'll give the tape back to you tomorrow. I've gotta show this to Toad! He loves bad movies!"
"Daisy" stays inside for a few minutes more, then comes out.
"They actually like it!"
"Ah, great. Now what do we do?"
"I have an idea..."
______________
|The Nightmare|
______________
Kamek and Captain Syrup are seen standing in the cave later that day. "So, what is this plan of yours?" asks the Magikoopa of the pirate captain curiously.
"Simple. You know how, if you die in a dream and make it all the way to that point, then you die in real life? Well, what we're gonna do is invade Mario's dreams and kill him there!"
"I prefer the possibilities behind reusing the butcher knife... Plus, if we can't kill him in real life then how do you expect us to beat him in a dream?"
"Well, it's simple: we just have to take advantage of what he's dreaming about and use it to kill him! For example, if he's dreaming about food then we can poison it."
"Knowing Mario, I should probably go ahead and get some rat poison ready."
"Might be a good idea."
That night, the two go to sleep with spells cast on them to enable them to go into anyone's dream they please for that night. The two invade Mario's dreams and find themselves within a desert made of cookie dough instead of sand. As they walk around looking for Mario, something dons on Syrup.
"We could've just gone to Sub-con and saved the trouble of the spell thing, couldn't we?"
"Yep."
Despite their nitpicking, the two continue on throughout the dessert desert. The two villains eventually find themselves at a temple made of cheese, which Mario is busy devouring by smearing bits of it on a next-door pyramid of crackers.
"Well, he knows how to dream, I'll give him that much," says Syrup. "Anyway, it's time to do him in. You go ahead and start warming up the cheese pyramid. I'll kick over the other one onto him."
Kamek begins shooting flames out of his rod at the temple of cheese, causing it to begin to melt. Syrup, meanwhile, begins trying to kick over the cracker pyramid to no avail. As the two finally succeed... Mario walks away and the two sides comes flying at each other.
"AGH! IT BURNS!" yells Syrup as she is drowned within gallons upon gallons of hot nacho cheese. Kamek, meanwhile, is buried underneath a HUGE amount of crackers, as well as a bit of the cheese itself. The fire's also unfortunately caused the cookie dough to begin to heat, meaning that both are being baked. The two both wake up just before their deaths.
"Well, things could've certainly been better there," Syrup says. Both her and Kamek then look at the snacks they have stored in the cave which includes (among other things) nachos with cheese, cookie dough, and crackers. They both scream and pass out. When they both regain consciousness, Syrup makes a vow.
This isn't over yet! I will kill Mario... and more importantly Toadstool someday, she thinks angrily, coming up with more and more plans to take out the two.
Oh, and I'll also never buy cheese again.