Attack of the Clones

By deathyboy

Hello! It's me again! This story is about Bowser's attempt to take over the Mushroom Kingdom using clones (and has nothing to do with Star Wars). Of course, it's never that simple, so even though he succeeds, he fails, since there is a problem with the clones. I'll let you read about it for yourself. Also, I introduce my character in this story as a supporting character. I am referred to as "Death" in the story. So, without further ado, here it is!

It is a relatively peaceful day in Castle Koopa. The Koopalings are in a meeting with their dad to discuss new ways to beat the Marios.

Bowser: Ok, kids! Do any of you have an idea to beat the Marios?

Ludwig: For the fifth time, King Dad, none of us have a plan today!

Bowser: Ok, kids! Do any of you have an idea to beat the Marios?

Wendy: No!

Bowser: Ok, kids! Do any of you have an idea to beat the Marios?

Larry: NO!

Bowser: We can do this all day if you like. Someone come up with a plan!

Kamek: Sir, I think I might be of assistance.

Bowser: You? Yes, your last plan was wonderful. Oh, wait, no it wasn't.

Kamek: But sir, this time I won't actually be doing anything. I know someone who might be able to help you.

Bowser: Hmmm. Ok, I'll bite. Who is it?

Kamek: The Grim Reaper, also known as Death.

Bowser: The Grim Reaper?! Are you crazy?!

Kamek: Only a little. Besides, I've known him for quite a while. I met him when I had a near-death experience, and he decided to let me live. Apparently, I was supposed to help you become king (which I did, by the way). But I'm sure he can help you!

Bowser: Even though you know him, how could we talk to him? I'm not planning on dying any time soon.

Kamek: I could set up a transportation spell. It would take a while, though. If I get it wrong, we could end up in another dimension, or somewhere out in space. But that would only happen if I were to rush.

Bowser: Fine. Go ahead. But if this backfires, you are fired. And I do mean fired.

Kamek: *gulp* Yes, sir.

Meanwhile, in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario are Luigi are staying in the guest bedroom of Princess Peach's Castle after the previous night's party.

Mario: *yawn* Boy, that-a was a good sleep!

Luigi: Oh, you're awake. The princess said she wanted to see us in the dining room.

Mario: Can't I just-a go back to sleep?

Luigi: No.

Mario: Please?

Luigi: NO.

Mario: Pretty please?

Luigi: NO! Just come on!

Mario: Oh, all right.

A few minutes later...

Peach: Mario! Luigi! Good to see you finally got up! Now, let's get to business.

Mario: What? No breakfast? I'm-a hungry!

Peach: You can eat after the meeting. Now, I wanted to tell you both that I'm getting suspicious of Bowser; he hasn't tried to attack in months! I'm worried he's planning something. The question is, what?

Mario: He'll-a probably just try and kidnap you again, like he always does.

Luigi: Yeah, Mario's actually right for once. I don't think we really have to worry that much about him. Let's just enjoy the attack-free time.

Peach: Fine. But when he attacks us and destroys half of the kingdom, don't come crying to me!

Mario: Don't-a worry, I won't! I'll-a be hiding in a cave.

Peach: Whatever. (Idiot.)

Peach leaves.

Mario: Wonder why she's-a so uptight today.

Luigi: Ahh, who cares. Let's just have some food.

Mario: Mmm, pasta!

Back at Castle Koopa, three days later...

Bowser: Kamek, are you finished yet?

Kamek: Do you want to end up in space?

Bowser: Not really.

Kamek: Then I'm not finished. Come back in an hour.

One hour later...

Bowser: Are you ready yet?

Kamek: Yes. I'm ready. Now, step onto the portal.

Bowser: Ok. Here?

Kamek: Yes. Now, hold on tight! HOCUS-POCUS ALAKABIMBLE!

A blinding flash of light blinds them both for a moment, and then everything goes dark.


Kamek: No, you aren't. This is his castle's entrance. It's always dark here.

Bowser: Ok, my eyes are adjusting. WOAH! That place is huge! Wait, where is this place anyway?

Kamek: Somewhere in Limbo. I'm not sure about the specific location. Now come on, let's go!

Dry Bones: Halt! Who goessssss there?

Kamek: King Koopa and the Magikoopa Kamek. We need to talk to Death.

Dry Bones: Wait here. I will inform the Masssster of your request.

The Dry Bones goes to tell Death about the visitors.

Bowser: Anything I need to know before talking to him?

Kamek: Not really. He's pretty easygoing, for his job. Just be friendly if you can. And if he wants to call you Bowser instead of King Koopa, let him.

Bowser: Grrr. If I must.

The Dry Bones returns.

Dry Bones: The Massssster will see you now. Come with me.

Bowser and Kamek follow him into a large room with a throne. Sitting in the throne is Death, clothed in a black cloak and holding his scythe.

Death: Kamek! Good to see you again. Doing well, I take it?

Kamek: Yes. This is Bowser, the King of the Koopas.

Bowser: Hello.

Death: Ahh, you've grown quite a bit. How are your children?

Bowser: They're doing well, thanks.

Death: Good, good. Now, I believe you have a request?

Bowser: Yeah, how did you know?

Death: I don't get many visitors unless they want something. It comes with the occupation.

Bowser: Err, I suppose that's true. But, you're right. I do need something.

Kamek: King Koopa needs you to clone him so he can defeat those cursed Marios!

Death: Cloning? I'd love to help, but I take life, not create it.

Kamek: *jaw drops* So I spent three days on a teleportation spell for nothing?!

Death: Not exactly nothing. I do know someone who can clone him.

Kamek: Oh. Who is it?

Death: Actually, it's not a exactly a someone. It's a something, but it's also a someone. It's a being whose soul was merged with a crystal. Originally, he was a very powerful sorcerer from another dimension, but when he came to Plit to experiment with a new fusion technique, he accidentally fused his soul with a crystal. However, he retained most of his power, though his body was destroyed.

Kamek: Then why doesn't he just take another body? Or make one himself?

Death: Let me finish, please. Due to his fusion with the crystal and the loss of his power, his mind was -  How do I say this? - slightly corrupted. In other words, he's insane. This is why he can't use some of his powers, like creating his own body, or possessing someone else. However, he can replicate something, for example, making clones of Bowser.

Kamek: So, how would we get him to clone Bowser?

Death: Well, he likes to gain more power. I believe you have made powerful items called Ztars? You should offer him a few of those.

Kamek: Oh! Good! But just one thing. Where is he?

Death: Listen, Kamek. Though I've told you all of this, I really don't believe that you should do this. I don't like him. I never have. He's become quite powerful, and I don't know if he would honor his commitment. He might just take the Ztars and make you leave.

Kamek: Failure is not an option. We MUST defeat the Marios!

Death: Well, if you're determined to do this, then I won't stop you. General Reaper! Come in here, please.

A Glum Reaper dressed in black floats into the room.

G.R.: Yes, Master?

Death: Please show these two to the Caves of Jewels. Take them to the Crystal Mage.

Kamek: Thank you, Death. Goodbye! I'll see you soon! Err... Actually, I hope I don't. No offense.

Death: None taken. I won't see you for a good many years.

G.R.: Come with me.

Some time after Kamek returned to castle and got some ztars, he and Bowser return to Limbo. General Reaper escorts them through the caves.

G.R.: Here we are, the Crystal Mage's cavern. I wish you luck.

Bowser: Wait, you aren't coming with us?

G.R.: No. My orders were to get you here and back again. I'll be waiting here.

Kamek: Let's go, King Koopa.

Bowser and Kamek enter the large cavern. In the center of the cavern, there is a large crystal.

Kamek: Hello? Is anyone here?

Suddenly, a form appears in the crystal. It is a sorcerer, the Crystal Mage.

Crystal Mage: Who disturbs my meditation?

Kamek: King Koopa has a request to make of you.

Bowser: I need you to make clones of me so I can defeat those cursed Mario Brothers!

Crystal Mage: I see. And what do you offer in return?

Kamek: These Ztars. They are made of dark energy, which will increase your power by quite a bit.

Kamek gives the Ztars to the Crystal Mage.

Crystal Mage: Your proposition is acceptable. Please come closer.

Kamek: Do as he says. Go forward.

Bowser walks forward. Energy begins to surround Bowser and the Crystal Mage. Pools of light appear on the floor and begin to form into shapes. They all become Bowsers! There are hundreds of Bowsers standing around the cavern when the lights die away.

Kamek: King Koopa! Which one are you?

Bowser: I'm right here. I think all the clones are a bit different.

Sure enough, all the clones have a black jewel set in their foreheads.

Bowser: Hey, Crystal Mage! Why do they have those jewel thingys?

Crystal Mage: You wouldn't want anyone to mistake them for the real you, would you?

Bowser: Oh. That's a good idea, then. Thanks. How do I use them, though?

Crystal Mage: Just order them to do something.

Bowser: Like this? Hey, clone!

Bowser Clone: Yes, Master?

Bowser: Hit yourself on the head.

Bowser Clone: Yes, Master.

The clone hits himself on the head so hard he is knocked unconscious.

Bowser: Wow! That works!

Crystal Mage: Go now. Do what you wish.

Bowser: Thanks! Now I can take over the Mushroom Kingdom!

Kamek: Goodbye, and thank you.

Bowser and Kamek leave. General Reaper escorts the two and all the clones back to the portal.

Kamek: Hmm. Death was wrong. That was easy, and the mage did it without question.

Bowser: Yeah. But now, for more important matters. Time to attack the Mushroom Kingdom! Bwahahahaha!

Some time later, in the Mushroom Kingdom...

Mario: Well, still-a no sign of Bowser.

Luigi: Peach is just paranoid.

Mario: Wait, what's-a that?

On the horizon, a fleet of doomships comes into view.

Mario: Uh oh! It's-a Bowser!

Luigi: Let's wait and see what he wants. Maybe he just wants to talk.

Mario: Ha, and I thought I was the stupid one here. Hey, wait!

On one of the doomships...

Kamek: King Koopa, we are ready to land. The clones have their instructions.

Bowser: Good. When we land, charge the castle!

Back at Peach's Castle...

Mario: The Mushroom Army is ready, Peach.

Peach: They're landing!

Mario: WHAT THE?!

Hundreds of Bowsers charge at the castle. The Mushroom Army scatters and the Bowsers enter the castle unopposed.

Mario: Err... I'm going to go hide in a cave.

Luigi: Hey! Wait for me!

Peach: HEY! COME BACK HERE! Umm... Is there enough room in the cave for me?

They all leave to try to find a cave.

In the throne room...

Bowser: MUHAHAHAHAA! I'm the king now! No one can stand in my way!

Bowser Clone: You have conquered the Mushroom Kingdom?

Bowser: Yeah. Why do you ask?

Bowser Clone: Your service is no longer necessary. You must leave the castle

Bowser: WHAT? I conquered this place fair and square! It's Bowser's Castle now!

Bowser Clone: No. You are wrong. It is the Crystal Mage's Palace now, along with the castle formerly known as "Bowser's Keep". Leave or be terminated.

Bowser: NO WAY!

Bowser lunges at the clone, but is hit by a beam of darkness from the clone's jewel.

Bowser: Urrrgh!

Kamek: King Koopa! We must leave!

Bowser and Kamek run out of the castle amid blasts of darkness from the clones.

Outside the castle, in a cave somewhere...


Kamek: I don't know! This isn't right! They're supposed to serve you!

Mario: Hey! Get out of my cave!

Luigi: Yeah, what he said!

Bowser: No. I'm hiding from the clones. They went crazy and tookover my castle.

Peach: You mean MY castle.

Bowser: I captured it fair and square! But then the clones ran us out.

Mario: Wait, don't-a the clones obey you?

Kamek: They were supposed to, but then they attacked us. We're trying to figure out why.

Peach: Where did you get the clones, anyway? Maybe you should look there for answers.

Bowser: Yeah, that's a good idea! Kamek, set up the spell!

Kamek: Wait! Let's just use the one at your castle, King Koopa.

Bowser: But there are lots of clones in there, aren't there?

Kamek: Yes, but if we find the Koopalings, we might be able to get them to help.

Bowser: Well... All right.

Peach: Wait! We're coming too!

Bowser: What? Why?

Peach: I want MY castle back!

Mario: Wait, who's we?

Luigi: Yeah! I don't want to go!

Peach: Too bad! You're both coming too!

Bowser: NO! None of you are coming!

Kamek: King Koopa, the extra help would be, well, helpful.

Bowser: Grrrr. Fine. You can come.

Mario and Luigi: NOOOOO!

Outside Bowser's Castle, behind some bushes...

Kamek: Ok, we're going to sneak past the guard over there and head for the portal. If we find the Koopalings, then we get them to come with us. Any questions?

Bowser Clone: Who's over there?!


Kamek: I have bad ears. Sorry.

Two Bowser clones rush toward our (sort of) heroes.

Kamek: Attack!

The Marios throw fireballs, Bowser breathes fire, and Kamek casts attack spells. One of the fireballs hits a clone in the forehead. His jewel shatters.

Bowser Clone: Errrrgg!

The clone disappears in a flash of light.

Kamek: Aim for the jewel!

Bowser spits a fireball right at the clone's head and destroys its jewel.

Kamek: So, their weak point is their jewel. Good to know. Let's go!

The group heads inside to be met by.

Crystal Mage: Hello, Bowser.

Bowser: YOU! HOW DARE YOU TAKE... Wait, how are you out of your crystal?

Crystal Mage: I'm not, I'm still in Limbo. This is an energy projection, so unfortunately, I can't crush you right now. But soon, my spell to return to my body will be completed. Then, if you aren't dead already, I would be pleased to give you a demonstration of my power. Or perhaps you would like a demonstration now?

He waves his arms and suddenly thirty Bowsers appear out of pools of darkness.

Crystal Mage: Have fun! Mwahahahahahaha!

He disappears in a flash of darkness.

Kamek: This is not good.

Our heroes do their best to fight off the Bowsers, and even manage to kill eight of them, but are being slowly pushed into the corner.

Bowser: No! I can't be killed by myself!

A clone raises its arm to crush Bowser's skull. Suddenly, a blast of energy slams into the offending clone and destroys the jewel. This stuns the remaining clones, giving our group a chance to defeat the clones.

Bowser: Who did that?

???: Me, of course!

Bowser: Ludwig! You survived!

Ludwig: Of course. The others did as well.

The rest of the Koopalings enter the room.

Larry: King Dad! You're ok! And you captured the princess!

Bowser: Err... Actually, they're here to help me get my castles back.

Peach: MY castle! THIS is your castle.

Kamek: Whatever. Anyway, change of plans. Now, we're going to take back the castle and then go to Limbo to attack the Crystal Mage. Let's move out!

Roy: Geez, when did he become a military guy?

Our heroes get to the portal with no interference.

Inside the portal room...

Morton: I wonder where all the clones went because before there were many, a lot, quite a few, a large number, more than there are now! I wonder what happened to them, did they run away, flee, escape, get away?


Bowser Clone: You again? Why are you not dead?

This clone is obviously higher ranked than the others. He has a black shell and a helmet that covers his jewel.

Bowser Clone: Well, then, I believe I will take you out. Maybe the Crystal Mage will make me his righthand man when he returns to his body.

Kamek: Wait! How would he return? I heard that he can't!

Bowser Clone: Times change. He's been steadily increasing his power, so he regained some of his original magic. Actually, you were the ones who gave him the last bit of power he needed. So, on his behalf, I'd like to thank you before I kill you.

Kamek: What? No! That's not possible!

Bowser Clone: Oh, but it is! And now, I bid you all farewell! Troops! Attack!

Twenty more Bowsers appear out of the portal and attack our heroes, but the clones are defeated and their leader loses his helmet.

Bowser Clone: Hmm... Perhaps I underestimated you. No matter. My work here is done. The spell has surely been completed by now. You're too late! Ha ha haaaaa!

Roy: Just shuddap all ready!

Roy smashes the clone's jewel, and it disappears.

Kamek: Everyone, on the portal! Quickly! HOCUS-POCUS ALAKABIMBLE!

Outside the Caves of Jewels...

Kamek: Ok, everyone ready? You all understand the plan?

Mario: Wait, what do I do again?

Kamek: *sigh* You go in there and distract the mage.

Mario: Won't he hurt me?

Kamek: Not if you just keep moving. We're going to attack him while he's distracted.

Mario: Oh. Can I go home now?

Peach: No, you can't.

Kamek: Ok, let's go!

Our heroes rush in to see something horrible.

Kamek: NO! We're too late!

It appears that our heroes are indeed too late, as the Crystal Mage is no longer in his crystal. Instead, before them stands a being, surrounded by dark energy.

Crystal Mage: Mwahahahaha! You're too late! I am restored! I shall rain down destruction on all who oppose me. In fact, I believe I will start with you! Now, die!

He attacks by throwing dark energy bolts toward our heroes.


Peach: No! Attack him!

Bowser: You won't get away with taking my castles! Take this!

Bowser breathes fire towards the Crystal Mage, but the mage blocks the attack with a wall of dark energy. Mario and Luigi muster enough bravery to throw some fireballs, but their attacks are also blocked. Kamek casts a powerful spell, but like the others, his attack is blocked. The Koopalings all cast their spells, but the mage reflects their attacks back at them, stunning them.

Crystal Mage: Fools! Do you not understand? I am invincible!

With one attack, he injures and immobilizes everyone except Mario and Peach.

Peach: This is insane. They said he couldn't escape. Wait! That's it! Mario, attack the crystal!

Mario: Fine, but we're still all-a gonna die!

Mario jumps up and runs over to the mage's crystal.


With one punch, Mario shatters the crystal, and the mage's illusion is broken. The mage reappears in the shards of his crystal.

Crystal Mage: Noooooo. It was the perfect plan. How could I lose to such weak fools? It's not possible.

Bowser: Hey, I can move! Wait, that was all an illusion?

Kamek: No, the attacks were real, but his body was indeed an illusion. He wanted us to think he had regained all his power, to "psyche us out". It nearly worked, but the princess figured it out. When Mario destroyed the crystal, all his spells quit working.

Bowser: Soooo... The clones are all gone now, right?

Kamek: Yes. Let's all go home.

An Epilogue, or Two

At Peach's Castle...

Peach: Well, I'm glad that's over! Those clones messed up my castle!

Mario: Can I go home now? We've been cleaning for hours!

Peach: No! You let them invade, and now you have to clean up the entire castle to make up for it! You too, Luigi!

Mario and Luigi: NOOOOOO!

At Castle Koopa...

Bowser: It's good to be home. I can't believe we nearly lost it.

Kamek: Yes, it is good to be home. I'm glad that we got rid of the clones.

Bowser: Speaking of which, Kamek, I believe we had a conversation about your plan, regarding what would happen if it failed?

Kamek: *gulp* Yes, King Koopa.

Bowser: Ahh. I'm in a good mood. I won't fry you.

Kamek: Thank you, King Koopa!

Ludwig: Hey, Kamek? Are you sure that the mage is dead?

Kamek: I don't think he can actually die, but I am sure that he won't be bothering us for a long time.

Bowser: That's good. But you had better be right this time, Kamek.

Kamek: I'm positive!

Somewhere in Limbo...

???: Those fools think they have defeated me. But I cannot die. I cannot and will not lose. I will return and destroy them all!

The end, for now...

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