Cackletta's Return

By Fwipp Deathspeeder

It was a quiet evening in Bowser's castle. All the Koopalings except Larry, Lemmy, and Ludwig had gone shopping. Bowser had left Kamek in charge in their absence, which displeased Kamek greatly. He went way back with Lord Bowser, so why was it that he ALWAYS got stuck with babysitting duty? He was trying to work out a new potion recipe, and didn't want to be bothered. But with three nosy Koopalings in the room, you can't really expect to get any work done.

Larry: Hey Kamek. Whatcha doing?

Ludwig: He is obviously making some sort of concoction. Perhaps if I could get a sample, I could duplicate the formula.

Kamek: Now see here, you! Nobody is to touch this! I need more Swooper wings, so I'll be back in a bit. Now don't touch!

Larry: Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

So Kamek decided to leave the koopalings alone with his brew. This was his first big mistake of the day. If you want to finish anything, make sure there are no Koopalings in the vicinity, or they are sure to muck things up.

Lemmy: Hey, look! What do you think would happen if I dropped this hammer into it?

Ludwig: Let's find out!

The brew began to bubble.

Larry: Cool! Now I'll put this Piranha Plant leaf in!

Lemmy: Wow, look! Blue smoke!

Ludwig: I suggest we dump that jar of goop into the mixture as well.

Larry: Sure, why not? I'll also put this shiny rock.

The smoke turned purple, and the vat began to make large popping noises.

Kamek: What's with all the racket? Hey! What did you guys do?

Lemmy: It was Larry.

Kamek: I don't care. Now what? It's out of control!

Indeed, the entire castle was being filled with purple smoke. Kamek tried to calm the brew, but his attmepts were futile. He even threw ice into it, but the smoke wouldn't stop. Suddenly, a load cackling sound rose up from the smoke.

Kamek: It's what I feared. Only one brew makes a blue smoke AND bubbles like that- a resurrection spell! You've really done it now!

Lemmy: But... Who is being resurrected?

Kamek: How should I know? I only know that you're all going to be in big trouble when I tell the others what you did!

Larry: IF you can tell the others.

The Koopalings all grabbed a rope and advanced toward Kamek.

Kamek: What are you doing with... Hey! You can't do this to me! Ahhhhh! I'm too old for this!

The Koopalings tied and gagged Kamek, then threw him in a closet.

Ludwig: Well, now that we've got him out of the picture, let's get rid of that smoke before someone realizes we did it.

Lemmy: Hey, the smoke is leaving by itself!

Indeed, the strange cackling smoke went out an open window, and began to pick up speed. Meanwhile, at Mario's house...

Mario: Hey-a Luigi! You forgot a sock!

Luigi: Next time, do your own-a laundry! Hey, what's that cloud?

The great cackling, purple smoke had crossed over the roof of the house, covering everything below in darkness.

Mario: Is it a solar eclipse?

Luigi: Eclipses don't cackle! It has to be some sort of ghost!

Mario: Mamamia! Get your Poltergust 3000!

Luigi: E. Gadd has it right now! It needed a tune-up!

Mario: Well, it's headed toward the Beanbean kingdom. I'm going to follow it and see what's up. This looks-a bad.

Luigi: I'll come too!

Mario: No, you have to finish-a my laundry!

Luigi: Ah, ravioli. Have a good trip. AGAIN.

So Mario headed out after the mysterious purple cloud, and Luigi was peeved for being left behind as usual. Mario followed the cloud through Stardust Fields and over Beanbean Castle Town, but was too tired to follow it over the ocean. Besides, he didn't have a way to cross it.

Mario: *huff... puff* I gotta exercise more.

Peasley: Good day, Mario! How have you been? I've been as royal as usual. Not much new here.

Mario: I have been-a chasing *huff...* a strange cackling cloud *puff...* for miles. I think it's a ghost. *puff...*

Peasley: CACKLING cloud, you say? Hmm... I think we should follow it. It could be Cackletta's ghost!

Mario: Impossible! We destroyed it, I think-a. You can't resurrect a ghost!

Peasley: True, but anything is possible. Why don't you ride with me?

Mario: Are you sure that pillow-thing will hold both of us?

Peasley: ... It's not a pillow. Of course it'll hold, it's not like you're THAT heavy. This thing is super strong!

Mario: Well... ok. Let's-a go!

Meanwhile, the cackling cloud had just made it through the window of the ice palace at Joke's End.

Purple Cloud: Fawful! Where are you? I'm back!

Fawful: Ack! It is a ghost of much scariness! I have almost soiled myself at the sight of such a weird apparition!

Purple Cloud: ... Fawful, it's me, the great Cackletta!

Fawful: That is most improbable. The greatness that is Cackletta was killed by the plumbers of Italian origin.

Purple Cloud: That's why I'm a ghost still! Quickly, you must find a way to bring my body back!

Fawful: Do not have worries! It is the mustard on my toast of victory that I am saying this: I have invented a machine thingy that will restore you to your former greatness! I did not use its power before the time of now, since I thought you were of the goners.

Purple Cloud: Less talking, more action! Suck me into the headgear, Fawful!

Fawful: With pleasureness!

So Fawful sucked Cackletta into the headgear, and ejected her into the strange machine. It made strange noises as green lights flashed everywhere, but when the machine finished its work, the deed was done. Cackletta walked out of the machine, complete with her body.

Cackletta: I feel younger! Now, we must devise a plan to knock off those meddling plumbers! They must surely be on their way!

Fawful: Why don't you just drop a chunk of solidified water on those rat-finks of custard?

Cackletta: What? Oh, that's a brilliant idea. Why didn't we just crush them before? Never mind, get with the lifting.

Back to our heroes...

Mario: Ack! There's not enough-a room!

Peasley: Quit shoving! We're tilting! How much do you weigh?

Mario: I'm slipping! Ahhh... I should REALLY exercise more!

Sploosh! The two of them fell into the water.

Back at Joke's End...

Fawful: Urg... There! The ice block trap is set, your malevolence!

Cackletta: Um... Are you ok? That was one heavy block!

Fawful: Yes. The okness of me is one hundred percent!

Fawful passed out.

Cackletta: When those fools come in the front door... BAM! Eyah ha ha ha! I love making evil schemes!

Under the water...

Peasley: Wow! How can we talk and breathe underwater?

Mario: I dunno. We did it in M&LSS. So, are we going in the front door?

Peasley: No! The fiends will suspect that!

Mario: Oh, so we should attack from above?

Peasley: No, they will suspect that too!

Mario: ... So what do we do? Use that pipe?

Peasley: Excellent idea! That's why you're the main character! It's labeled "Joke's End Water Drainage".

Mario: Let's-a go!

Peasley: Sure. But isn't that cliched now? Hey, wait a minute! There's a clog!

Mario: Don't-a worry! I'm a plumber!

Mario unclogged the pipe with a plunger, conveniently stored in his utility belt. The duo headed up the pipe, and emerged in a large room filled with water. After they realized they were in a water storage tank, the duo climbed out and found themselves face to face with a cloaked figure.

Doopliss: Long time no see, eh Slick?

Peasley: Who are you?

Doopliss: I'm here for revenge! Time to fight!

Doopliss fought Mario and Peasley. Just when it seems they were winning, Doopliss stole Peasley's body. Mario hit Doopliss with his hammer, and Peasley retaliated. In the end, Doopliss was beaten.

Doopliss: Arg! Don't think this is over, Slick! Whatever treasure you're getting THIS time, I'll get it first!

Doopliss ran in the front door of the ice palace, with Mario and Peasley in hot pursuit. Suddenly a giant ice block from nowhere fell on Doopliss, narrowly missing our heroes.

Mario: That was-a close!

Doopliss: Ack! Can't... move...

Peasley: Look! Cackletta's back!

Cackletta: Blast it! Some dope sprung the trap! Come Fawful! Attack these fools who dare trifle with me! ... Fawful? Blast! He is STILL out cold! I'll take both of you out myself!

Lightning bolts rained down everywhere. Peasley attempted to jab Cackletta with his sword, but Cackletta zapped him, and he fell to the floor.

Peasley: Get her... once and... for all!

Mario: No-a problem!

Cackletta: How touching... but you are both doomed! Eyah ha ha ha! Why don't you just give up now?

Mario: Not a chance!

Mario jumped over the lightning and hit Cackletta with his hammer. The lightning bolt destroyed the ice block.

Doopliss: I'm free! Now how do I escape?

Doopliss noticed Fawful.

Doopliss: Nice headgear, Slick! You won't mind if I borrow this for a while, will you? Of course not.

Cackletta: It'll take more than a bump to the head to stop me! I've gotten better! Chain Lightning!

Mario: Mamamia! Bzzeeeert! Ug... I'll get you for that, witch!

The two of them were too busy to notice Doopliss flying away with the headgear.

Doopliss: Here's a little present, Slick!

Doopliss blastsed the roof of the ice palace with the headgear. Icicles rained down on the fighters, but they both dodged. Fawful got up.

Fawful: What is the noise that sounds like ice breaking? Oh, Cackletta is needing my help! Engage headgear!

Nothing happened.

Fawful: Oh woefullness! My headgear has been stolen! What is a poor Bean like me to do? No matter, I still have the fury!

Fawful pathetically rolled toward Mario when his back was turned. The cheap shot connected, and Mario hit the wall.

Cackletta: Eyah ha ha ha! Good one, Fawful! Now to finish this fool off when his guard is down! Lightning Ball!

Cackletta raised both her arms above her head, and tons of lightning was conjured up, creating an immense ball. She hurled the ball toward Mario, who jumped over it. It crashed into the wall, breaking some support beams. Peasley crawled to his feet at the sound of the noise.

Mario: Peasley, you're ok!

Peasley: It seems we may need to work together to defeat this evil! Bros. Attack! Sword Swipe Tornado!

Peasley jumped on Mario's head, much like Luigi's Bounce Bros. He then drew his sword. Mario and Peasley began to spin faster and faster around the room, knocking out pillars. Fawful was launched through the ceiling, and Cackletta was jabbed several times. She collapsed on to the floor.

Peasley: I knew we could do it! Of course, I did most of the work.

Mario: Suuure. Buuuut waaaaiiiit aaa miiiiinute.. Whaaaat's thaaaaat ruuuuumbling sooounddd?

Peasley: Greeeeat scot! The whoooole palaaaace isssss commming doooown! We'vvvve goooot to escaaape!

Indeed, without all those pillars, the ice palace was beginning to collapse around our heroes. Immense
chunks off ice fell around them, completely covering Cackletta. Peasley and Mario broke their way out through another wall, just in time to see the entire place crash into a heap on the ground behind them.

Peasley: I hope that's the last we see of Cackletta. Well, it's been fun Mario, but I must be off.

Mario: Yes, thank-a you. But what happened to Fawful?

Meanwhile, at Oho Oasis...

Fawful: Arg! This cape of fashionableness is covered in sand! I despise the beach, and the warmish weather!

Fawful noticed the remains of the ice palace in the distance.

Fawful: Oh great Cackletta, I have failed you once again. Well, I may only be a toady, but I have FURY! Even without my headgear! I will not give up hope this time! Yes, my plan will be most evilish! I will melt the ice and free Cackletta once more! But alas, I do not know how to create the balls of fire that the Brothers Mario can make. Hmm... It is starting to rain. I must seek shelter in that temple of gloominess!

Once inside, Fawful noticed that the place was self-lit. Wondering how it could be so bright inside whilst the outside was so dark, Fawful journeyed deeper inside the temple.

Fawful: Hmm! A passage too small for others to enter! I must roll inside!

Fawful rolled up into a ball, thus making him small enough to roll through. What he then found could be enough to change the future: a giant ball of fire. Learning from the oblivious guardian of the temple, Fawful soon acquired the Fire Brand technique and swam all the way back to the heap of ice that had once been an ice palace.

Fawful: Do not have worries! I will get you out!

Sparks formed around Fawful's hands as he attempted the new skill he had learned. but the fire engulfed his arm instead of the ice. He doused it off in the freezing waters.

Fawful: Do not fret, Cackletta! I will be continuing with the practicing! You do not need to give up on me THIS time!

Until Fawful learns how to control the burning technique. Then it's-a sequel time!

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