Oh, For the Love of Torte!

By DaveDooplighost99

Chapter 1: The Invite

Tayce T. was in her little house in Toad Town, cooking up dinner for herself. She was just about to eat a Shroom Steak she had just cooked up, when suddenly, the phone rang.

“Hello, Tayce T. here. Who may I ask is calling?”

“Hey sis, it’s me, Zess T.”

“Sis!” Tayce T. shouted in exitement. “Wait, you only call if someone stomps on your contact lens, or if it is something really, really, really, important!”

“Tayce, it is really, really, really important! I just got an invitation to the Best of the Best Cooks/Chefs 10-Day Vacation at… uh, what? WHERE IN THE WORLD IS POSHLEY HEIGHTS?!” Zess T. screamed because she didn’t know how to get there. Tayce T. found this unbelievable.

“You don’t know where Poshley Heights is? Hahahahahahahahaha!” Tayce T. laughed.

“What?! What’s so funny?!” Zess T. felt like she had said something incredibly stupid.

Tayce T. replied, “Sorry. It’s just that you live really close to Poshley Heights.

“Really? I do?” Zess T. asked.

“Yeah, just take the very fancy train, the Excess Express!”

“Oh, I wondered why this Train Ticket came with the invitation. Well, I'd better pack. The big day is in three days. Hey, maybe you’ll get an invitation as well! So call me if you get one.”

“Bye, Sis!”

“Ok, bye!”

“Maybe I will get one,” Tayce T. thought.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. “Delivery for Tayce T!”

“Hmm,” said Tayce T. “Who could that be?”

“Here you go!” Parakarry, the mail Paratroopa said.

“What’s this?” Tayce T. asked herself. She opened the envelope, and…


Tayce T. called Zess T. and told her.

“That’s great! Just come over to Rogueport to the train station. I’ll be there waiting,” said Zess T.

“Ok, great! Well, I'd better pack for the trip, bye,” Tayce T. said in excitement.

“Bye,” Zess T. said, and Tayce T. instantly hung up the phone and started packing. She packed clothes, and five of every item in Paper Mario. Tayce T. took the whale at Toad Town Harbor to Rogueport. It was 10:00 PM when she arrived, so she stayed at the inn. The next day, Tayce T. met up with her sister, who was waiting at the station just as Zess T. had said.

“Well, we have to get going,” Zess T. said. Tayce T. nodded and they climbed aboard.

“Next stop, Poshley Heights!” the conductor shouted. The train then rushed out onto the path to Poshley Heights.

Chapter 2: Three Days of Excess, and Love at First Sight

All the cabins on the train were filled. Cabin 1 held a red Yoshi. He came as a judge for the contest. Cabin 2 held the Iron Cleft Bros, also judges for the contest. Cabin 3 held Gourmet Guy and that fat Toad who stole the stew pot during Mario’s adventure on the Excess Express, yet again, judges for the contest. Cabin 4 held… nobody! Well, Ghost T. from Mario’s adventure was there, but he is always there. Cabin 5 held Tayce and Zess T, two of the contestants. The dining car has to be mentioned, because another contestant, Chef Simi, was on it. Cabin 6 held Chef Torte, a contestant that could leave Marrymore because Apprentice could manage the food now that he was a Master Chef. And last, but not least, well ok, maybe the least, was a group of Health-Nut Punies, ten, to be exact, who were all judges for the contest.

On day one, Tayce T. and Zess T. were very excited to be on such a luxurious train. “I’m going to explore the train some more, ok, Sis?” Tayce T. said.

“Ok, but don’t get lost, because I’m not gonna go and find you!” Zess T. replied.

Tayce T. went to see everyone in the cabins to the right side of the train, exept for Cabin 4, because Ghost T. only appears when the other person in the room disappears. Then she went to the left side of the train. When she reached Cabin 6, Chef Torte wasn’t there. After talking to the Punies, she saw Chef Torte walking down the hall. “Sigh, what a hottie!’ she said, as her eyes turned into hearts.

She went back to Cabin 5 at 9:30 PM. “Finally, you’re back,” Zess T. said the second Tayce T. walked through the door. “What took ya?”

“Oh, I met just the most DREAMIOUS man- Uhh, I mean the dreamiest mango dish in the world,” Tayce T. said.

“I saw that dish when we boarded the train! I make it all the time!” Zess T. said with a strange look at her sister.

“Well, uhhhh, it looked different to me!” Tayce T. said, and then she went straight to sleep.

“She is so weird,” Zess T. said.

On day two, Zess T. said, “It’s time to go, we’re at the halfway point.

Zess T. and Tayce T. got off last. “I’m going to the station to flip the switch for the bridge!” Tayce T. said.

“Whatever!” Zess T. said.

Just then, she heard a voice from on top of the train. “Hey! Zess!” It was Toce T. Apparently, she had got an invitation too, but there were too many passengers on board the train.

“Hey! That’s a cool way to sneak on the train!” Zess T. said. She was crossing the train tracks to get to the other side, when she tripped over the rail. “&_%*!” she shouted at the top of her lungs. “I dropped my contact lens again!”

“Excuse me, Miss, vut zid you drop vis?” a voice said to her.

“What do you want, you French freak?!” Zess T. yelled at the voice. “Hey, wait! Are those my contact lens? Hey, thanks... Woah!”

“Vat iz eet? Iz zere a vug on me? Vet eet off! Vet eet off! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

It was Chef Torte. “*sigh* What a hottie!” Zess T. said after Torte ran away, thinking there was a bug on him. Then the bridge closed.

“I flipped the switch!” Tayce T. said, rushing out of the station.

“We can all see that. So let’s just board the train and get to sleep. The big day is tomorrow morning,” Zess T. said.

They both dreamed about Torte. They really liked about him for two things: first, there was his French accent, and they had heard that French was quite romantic; and second, he lived in Marrymore, a very rich town known for its cathedral where people got married, as well as its big Hotel with a large, sweet suite.

Chapter 3: Arrival, Vacation, Preposition, and Contest

On day three, the train got to Poshley Heights at 10:00 AM. “Thank you for riding the Excess Express,” the conductor said as all of the passengers (except Ghost T.) exited the train.

The hotel in Poshley Heights had grown much bigger. It had 500 bedrooms, and the dining room was decorated because of the special Cooks/Chefs Vacation and Contest.

For the first nine days it was vacationing time for the judges and participants. Eventually, however, Tayce T. and Zess T. each learned about their sister’s feelings for Chef Torte. They started fighting and arguing all the time. They both asked Torte to marry her, at the SAME TIME! They each hid inside his room, one in the closet, and one under his bed. When he came into his room, they both jumped out and asked him. Then, when they saw each other, they started beating each other up. Torte said that they were both beautiful and that they would have to show him who was better.

On Day ten, the contest was held. It was every cook or chef for him or her self. The scoring system for the contest was like this:

Taste: +30 pts 10+10+10=30

Strength: +20 pts 10+10=20

Health: +50 pts 5+5+5+5+5+5+5+5+5+5=50

“The Best of the Best Cooks and Chefs Contest will now begin!” shouted last year’s champion, Mr. Hoggle, who had demolished the competiton with his delicious, powerful, and healthy creation, the Hoggle Hot Dog, now sold only in Glitzville. “But first, let’s introduce our participants, Tayce T, Zess T, Chef Torte, Chef Simi, and Toce T!

“Now, the first test, the taste test, will begin! Each participant must create a delicious dish, using the ingredients they bought, and the secret ingredient, Cake Mix!"

Tayce T. said, “Perfect! I’ll just make a simple, but delicious cake!”

“I’ll cook up a Mousse Cake!” Zess T. said.

“Hmm, I’ve never made cake before, but I’m sure I’ll get something!” said Chef Simi.

“I’ll vake a Shroom Cake!” said Chef Torte.

“And I’ll make a Heartful Cake!” said Toce T.

When they were finished, Tayce T. went first. She received a 10, 5, and 2 for her cake. Zess T. got a 10, 7, and 1 for the Mousse Cake. Torte received a 10, 10, 10 for the Shroom Cake. Toce T. received a 10, 7, and a 1. And last and definitely the least, is Chef Simi, who got a 10, 0, and 0 for his Death Cake. Luckily, the judges had a Life Shroom with them, just in case.

“I love all cakes,” said Gourmet Guy. “Cake is good, but Mousse Cake is better. And the Shroom Cake was delicious! The Heartful Cake was good too."

"And me and Yoshi both have something to say,” said the fat Toad.

“WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND MIXES CAKE MIX WITH A POISON MUSHROOM?!” shouted both the fat Toad and the Yoshi at the same time, with rage.

“Now, the strength test will now begin!” shouted Mr. Hoggle.

“An Egg Bomb is perfect! Good thing I have this Egg from Mt. Rugged!” said Tayce T.

“I’ll make my special Zess Dynamite!” Zess T. said.

“Eet iz time for Bundt to vight again!” Chef Torte said.

“Coconut Bomb is perfect!” said Toce T.

“I’ll make an amazing Trial Stew!” said Chef Simi.

Tayce T. got a 5 and a 5. Zess T. got an 8 and a 10. Chef Torte got a 10 and a 10. Toce T. got a 7 and a 6. And Chef Simi got a 9 and a 9.

“We think that you should have used an egg from the Boggly Tree instead of Mt. Rugged. Your dynamite is very powerful, and your cake ate us alive!”

“The coconut bomb is a little powerful, and the Trial Stew was awesome! It reduced my HP to 1, and fully recovered my brother! That’s powerful and helpful!” said one of the Iron Bros.

“And the last test, the health test will now begin!” said Mr. Hoggle.

“Jelly Ultra!” all of the participants thought so that nobody would hear about the best item in Paper Mario and Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door.

Everyone received a 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, and 5. “It’s awesome!” the Punies said.

“Well, that’s the end of the contest, so lets check the scoreboard."

Tayce T: 17+10+50=77

Zess T: 18+18+50=84

Chef Torte: 30+20+50=100

Toce T: 18+13+50=81

Chef Simi: 10+18+50=78

Chapter 4: The Wedding

“And the winner is… Chef Torte!” Mr. Hoggle shouted.

“Thank you, Mr. Hoogle,” Chef Torte said.

“That’s Hoggle. Mr. Hoggle.”

“*sigh* I’ll be married to a rich guy!” Tayce and Zess T. said while looking at him. The two sisters then fought with each other before managing to sneak onto Torte's plane back to Marrymore, where they each planned to ask him to marry her.

At Marrymore, Chef Torte made his decision. It was


Zess T!

“Ha! In your face, Sis!”

“I’m very zorry, vut you aren’t as talented as I thought you vere," Chef Torte said to the rejected sister, Tayce T. "However, this one is outstanding! You vactually got second place! And I thought vat your dishes looked as good as they tasted, except vor the dynamite. Vat was just powerful.”

Tayce T. then ran crying all the way back to Toad Town. Zess T. and Torte got married, and lived happily ever after- except for that part when they were on their honeymoon at Keelhaul Key and ghosts sank their boat, along with them!

Artwork by Fried Rooster

The End

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