CHAPTER 10: With a Yo Ho Ho
This Email has been sent to you by RNN, the Rogueport News Network, your center for news in the northern islands.
NEWS FLASH: THE TERROR CAME AT TWILIGHT
An early morning attack came today in a place often not considered to have mornings. The Twilight region, west of Rougeport, is always in constant half-light, as are some of Twilight Town’s secrets. One of these secrets is the most recent location of the Ruby Star, and it has been exposed: in the hands of the Game Over.
It all started, according to a local, when a giant, red doomship moved into the airspace over Twilight Town; a doomship confirmed by two other witnesses to be the G. O. S. Volcano. Among those in the landing party on this attack were Yosie, Doopliss, and Bombette.
“We can’t remember much after that,” the local concluded. “We were too busy panicking.”
About 15 minutes after the doomship appeared, it shoved off towards the Creepy Steeple, the previous home of the Game Over Commando Doopliss. Two others were known to be bound for the Steeple shortly before the ship appeared: the youngest member of the Shadow Sirens, Vivian, and the notorious thief, Ms. Mowz.
“She told me she was just going for a walk!” Beldam, the oldest of the Shadow Sirens, commented on Vivian. “When I get my hands on her, she’ll be punished like never before!”
And there might be another force at work. According to the mayor of the town, called Dour, six figures, later proved to be X-Nauts from his description, told him they were on a mission to capture a member of the Volcano’s crew, and they too were on their way to the Steeple. No one was sure of their involvement in this business, as they were unavailable for comment.
At the Steeple were two victims of Yosie’s past day’s worth of crimes: Koops from Petalburg, and Madame Flurrie from Boggly Woods.
Koops gave us an interview.
“See, I figured that since Yosie was going for the Crystals Stars, we needed to stakeout one he didn’t find and catch him in the act. It didn’t work out so well. Ms. Mowz may have been on vacation, but she wasn’t above stealing at any time. When a huge explosion knocked the Star from its hiding place, she grabbed it while we weren’t looking!”
“We almost thought Ms. Mowz had turned on us and was getting the Ruby Star for that bad creep Yosie,” Madame Flurrie reported, “but I figured, why would she wait for Vivian to tell her? Why didn’t she go off to the Steeple to look for herself?”
From the combined reports, three new citizens were reported to have been taken captive: Vivian, Ms. Mowz, and the child star of the Broadshroom stage, little Eve, daughter to the first Eve, who was a star herself.
The situation has truly grown critical. Six hostages have been taken, and half of the Crystal Stars have been spirited away. Is there nothing that can stop this menace?
This message has been brought to you by RNN, the Rogueport News Network.
***
The Excess Express pulled up to the Poshley Heights station. Inside the train, the conductor said over the PA system, “Attention, passengers. We are now arriving at Poshley Heights. Please gather up all your personal belongings and disembark from the train in an orderly fashion. If you have encountered whiplash anytime during your trip, please take it up with the passengers in cabin 5. Thank you for riding the Excess Express.”
On the platform, Iggy and Roy ran into Pennington.
“Yo, ice-slider,” Roy asked, “you said earlier you were the curator of the Poshley Sanctum, am I correct?”
“Quite so,” Pennington said, “and I understand you must be looking for the Garnet Star, correct?”
“Yep,” Iggy replied. “We’re trying to stop the leader of the Game Over from doing something really horrible to someone we know, and he needs the Crystal Stars for whatever he’s doing, so we’re trying to get to them first. He’s already got four of them, judging from the last RNN news flash we got on the train, and we have to stop Yosie from getting the other Stars now.”
“I see,” Pennington said (which was a lie, although he’ll never admit it). “With that in mind, follow me.”
And the “penguin with the improbably large brain” led them off the platform.
***
Mario, Luigi, Larry, Morton, and Wendy were running as fast as they could through the fruited plains. By their calculations (which weren’t very accurate, by the way) they were nearly halfway across. It was just at the midway point did Mario’s Mailbox SP start ringing.
“Oh, who now?” Larry asked.
Mario pulled out the SP and read the message on the run.
“Four Crystal Stars now?” Wendy said. “Does that guy have a taste for gems or what?”
“Apparently what, because if he was just in it for the gems he wouldn’t take the Star Spirits or our Magic Wands or the Star Rod or any of his hostages. And that’s all I’m gonna say,” Morton quickly concluded before Wendy stuffed the contact back into his mouth. She had removed it because Morton had a tendency to breathe mostly through his mouth when running really fast (come to think of it, everyone does) and she didn’t want one of the only siblings she could push around to suffocate.
And they kept running.
***
The X-Naut squadron huddled in a dark corner in the Volcano’s hold. How they'd got there from the Red Glove Grabber without any member of the Game Over seeing them was nothing short of a minor miracle.
Johnson felt his communicator watch vibrate. When performing a stealth mission, it is not suggested to have the ringtone on.
He pressed a button and Grodus’s face appeared on the screen.
“Sir Grodus!” Johnson whispered.
“Quiet, soldier,” Grodus replied. While he was speaking at his normal volume (for him), it was like a whisper through the communicator as every aspect of volume on the watch was toned down. The only exception was the microphone volume, to make sure the other side could hear the whispers.
“I called you because we have received another RNN news flash,” Gordus continued. “The Ruby Star has been taken from Creepy Steeple.”
“We know, sir,” Johnson replied. “We have managed to infiltrate the Volcano and are currently hiding in the hold.”
“Good work, soldier,” Grodus praised (which he didn’t do often). “TEC has determined that the Volcano is heading towards Keelhaul Key. No doubt our Lakitu friend is heading for the Sapphire Star, which has been resting in Cortez’s hoard since our last attempt to collect them. You know your mission: apprehend Crump and escort him to the base. By any means necessary.”
“Understood, Sir Grodus.”
“Oh, I can’t wait to get my hands on that big fat annoyance… oh. Grodus out!” The screen went blank.
Johnson turned to Reggie and the other X-Nauts. “All right, men, we’re not going to get to the target just sitting here. Let’s move out!”
***
“Six of us…” Goombella said quietly as she leaned against the cell wall. “Held by a maniac… that turned himself into a Lakitu…”
“Goombella,” Koopie Koo told her, “you’re making me feel a bit unwell.”
Vivian and Ms. Mowz were vigorously attempting to find a way out of the cell. Neither Vivian’s Shade Fists nor Ms. Mowz’s Love Slaps were doing anything to the walls or bars.
“Say, Vivian,” Ms. Mowz suggested, “why can’t you move through the shadows and out of here?”
“I tried that two minutes ago,” Vivian responded. “Yosie put some sort of force field around the prison edges that extends farther than I can duck. And the same thing on all the other walls, the floor, and the ceiling. We’re not getting out of here that way. By the way, about that scene you tried at the Steeple…”
“I’m a thief, and I always will be,” Ms. Mowz replied. “Although it didn’t help that the Ruby Star is my favorite…”
“We are going to get out of here,” Eve squeaked, “right?”
“I hope so,” Petuni responded. “I’m scared…”
Suddenly, they heard footsteps down the hall. A second later, Susan and two Koopatrols appeared on the other side of the bars.
“I haven’t been paying attention lately…” Susan said. “Which one of you is Eve?”
Vivian was about to step up when Susan suddenly said, “Oh yeah, the little, dreary-faced girl. How could I forget that? Yeah, you’re coming with me.”
She unlocked the cell door and the Koopatrols went in.
“What do you want with her?” Vivian demanded, blocking the Koopatrols.
“It’s not what I want with her,” Susan replied. “More like what Yosie wants. But he’s told me to assure you that she will not be harmed, on his word as an evil Lakitu genius. That should be enough.”
Vivian hesitated for a few moments and moved aside. The two Koopatrols escorted Eve out of viewing range while Susan locked the cell door and followed.
“Why her?” Vivian whispered. “Eve doesn’t have any particular talents that I know of… except acting.”
***
“Lemmy, tell me whether I’m going insane or we’ve finally reached Dinosaur Land.”
“We’ve finally reached Dinosaur Land.”
“Are you insane?”
“Not in the classic sense, no.”
“HALLELUJAH! Praise DAD!”
Ludwig then promptly fainted on the shoreline.
***
Yosie was playing another tune on his oh so special squeezebox when Susan brought Eve in to see him. Knowing better then to interrupt someone more dangerous then Bowser (and a few decades younger), she waited.
When the song ended after about two minutes, Susan gave a polite clapping.
“Sorry to keep all of you waiting,” Yosie said as he tossed the squeezebox onto his desk. “Susan, could you and the troops wait outside for a moment?”
“Sure,” Susan replied, and she and the Koopatrols left and closed the door firmly behind them.
“Ah, little Eve,” Yosie said, floating a tad closer to the young girl and at the same vertical level. “The reason I wanted to talk to you is because you have some talents I seek.” Yosie pulled a costume out of his cloud and tossed it to the young girl. “Tell me, how good are you at improvisation?”
***
Why has everything gone blurry? was Ludwig’s first thought when he started to regain conscious.
There was a face staring at him. It was insane, yet comical at the same time.
“Lemmy, is that you?”
“Yeah, it’s me, Ludwig.”
“Am I in heaven?”
“Actually, Dinosaur Land doesn’t seem like too much of a heaven for us.”
“We’re in Dinosaur Land?”
“Yep.”
“Good.” Ludwig promptly fainted again, and this time it took until about noon for him to wake up. It is relatively easy to wake up at noon. Stomachs have been known to be quite loud.
***
General Guy was leaning against the wall of the ship’s stern. It was going to be a few minutes before they would arrive at the next stop, and so he had decided to pass the time by catching a few extra winks. However, he was woken up as something happened.
Yosie burst out of his cabin, looking very different. A hat like those that sailing admirals wear covered his head, lace and all. He wasn’t wearing his sunglasses, but the lenses from a spare pair were used to create his twin eye patches. (Don’t ask me how he did it. He’s the genius.) The Game Over shirt had been covered by the long blue jacket that, once again, sailing admirals wear. His cloud’s sunglasses had been removed, although it took several minutes afterward for it to get used to the light.
When he burst out, the sun was shining bright high above the tropical sea between Rogueport and Keelhaul Key. The waves below were nice and soft, and the wind felt rather brisk, whatever that means.
Yosie was also carrying his squeezebox and singing, “Oh, the sailor’s life is the life for me. How I love to sail on the ocean seas, and I never ever ever do a thing about the weather, ‘cause the weather never ever did a thing for me.” He then played a quick “shave and a haircut”, then threw the squeezebox back into his cabin, and the musical instrument decided to be nice and close the door behind it.
“Ow!” sounded from inside the cabin. Yosie quickly got over and opened the door, and Doopliss emerged. He wore a pirate bandana on his head and an eye patch over his right eye, and he had his bow removed. He also had the squeezebox stuck on his forehead.
“Whoops,” Yosie apologized as he took the squeezebox. “Sorry, Doopliss.”
“I feel ‘whoops’ doesn’t begin to cover it,” Doopliss replied in a slightly threatening tone.
“Don’t use that slightly threatening tone on me, Mister. I’m still your boss. You rather I have Crump do this?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, too bad. Cortez might recognize him. Now, where’s Eve?”
Escorted by two Duplighosts, Eve emerged from the hold. She looked very poor, money-wise, in her costume, and was mostly covered in rags.
“I take it the costume fits perfectly?” Yosie asked. “Not too hard. Being famous means someone’s bound to eventually post your dress size on the Internet. General Guy, how far away are we from Keelhaul Key?”
“About five minutes, Admiral.”
Yosie looked at his hat and coat (although only he knew it with those eye patches) and said, “Just for now, ok, General Guy? Now, take us to the opposite side of Keelhaul Key from the small shanty made up of that Flavio’s ship, and keep us low. We need to be extra sneaky if this is going to work. Remember Plan B, General Guy, in case my original idea doesn’t work?”
“Me and Crump attack the shanty and you get the Sapphire Star while everyone’s distracted, Admiral.”
“Correct. Doopliss, Eve, prepare to disembark. It’s time for those drama lessons I took in high school to pay off.”
***
Karma sat on her bunk alone in the back of her parents' hut, thinking.
Let’s see… one day… two days… this is my third day here. I wonder when Yosie’s going to show up to check up on me. “Soon” usually refers to sometime in the same day.
But why? Why would Yosie, after what we’ve been through several months ago, take me to visit my parents? And then he reoffers the Commando position from last time? Is he trying to bully me?
And then there are my dreams… Why have they featured me being Yosie’s servant? I know he gives his officers respect. I’ve never seen a boss that is so nice to his employees. He took Bombette out for hot dogs and… and… well, other things for everyone else, I’m sure.
Karma shook her head vigorously. What am I thinking? Joining Game Over is not an option! The balloon’s gonna arrive tomorrow. I have to wait it out until then, and then I’ll walk back to Dark Land. No other option, period. I know Ludwig is worried. Although probably more about his personal welfare then myself…
“Karma!” Atara called from the main room. “Lunchtime!”
Karma got up and walked out. As she went, she thought, Well, I’ll think about it a bit more later. Maybe there is more than one option…
***
After his great adventure with Mario, Admiral Bobbery had packed his things and moved to Keelhaul Key. Not much had changed since his last visit, which (to be perfectly honest) was two days ago. Upon arriving, he'd erected a small hut between the shop and inn, which managed to hold everything, despite the small amount of building material that was left.
As for Cortez, he'd decided to settle down and spend the rest of his afterlife in Keelhaul Key (which was going to take a very long while). He continued to occupy his old ghost ship, where all of the treasure (including the recently re-added Sapphire Star) was safe in his cabin, where it would rest for all eternity.
Or so he thought.
It was just a bright, clear day with nice, soft waves and a brisk breeze when it happened. Bobbery was just taking a walk along the coast when he heard a voice he hadn’t heard before.
“Ahoy!”
Bobbery turned and saw three figures entering the shanty from the jungle. One was a Lakitu that looked like a sailing admiral, except for the twin eye patches over his eyes. The other was a Duplighost that looked like a pirate. The third was a dreary-looking little girl dressed mostly in what appeared to be rags.
Rather strange lot, Bobbery thought.
Bobbery approached the newcomers. “Ahoy there. Now, may I inquire as to your names?”
“I thought a sailing bomb like you would eventually get a tad paranoid over the years. I’m the great sailing Captain Sky. These fine people here are my first mate, Dopple, and the cabin girl, Anne.”
“Captain Sky?” Bobbery thought out loud. “Never heard of you.”
“Well, the ‘great’ part is self-proclaimed. We’ve just docked for shore leave and I’ve heard the great pirate king Cortez also makes his home here.”
“You want to see Cortez? Matey, believe you me, he’s not one to like being disturbed. By the way, how can you see with those twin eye patches you have on?”
“Heh heh. You’d be surprised… Now, I’m going to have to leave soon, so I must talk with Cortez immediately.”
Bobbery thought for a moment. “I suppose… but you best be careful.”
“Of course. When you have my job, you have to be careful. Come, Dopple, Anne.”
Sky flew past Bobbery and through the shanty town, Dopple and Anne right behind him. The old sea bomb watched them as they passed.
“Might be my age talking, but… that Duplighost looks rather familiar…”
***
Ludwig took a bite of the watermelon Lemmy had found while he was unconscious. The clown Koopaling was lunching on a few oranges as they sat on the coastline of Yoshi’s Island.
Ludwig sighed. “Three days have eclipsed since we started after Yosie. We have no means of contacting the others, we have barely made any progress finding Karma, and we still don’t know what Yosie’s motives for taking Karma away are.”
Lemmy replied with, “Basically, we’re down in the dumps.”
“Affirmative.” Ludwig took another bite. “Although I must say, this fruit isn’t half bad.”
“Well, Ludwig,” Lemmy comforted, “look on the bright side.”
“What luminous edge?”
Lemmy pointed to the sky. “We got here before the balloon.”
Ludwig looked. The balloon from the Mushroom Kingdom, which was shaped like a Mushroom (obviously), was at least a half-day away from the island.
“Ok, perhaps there is a luminous edge. Finished?”
“Almost.” Lemmy had a small pile of no less than five oranges left. He picked them up, juggled them, and one by one, sent them off to sea. “Done.”
Ludwig sent his watermelon after the oranges. “Then let’s start searching Dinosaur Land. We have a lot of ground to cover.”
***
Captain Sky and his crew approached Cortez’s ship. Cortez, having nothing else to do, was floating around the deck, obviously bored.
“Ahoy there,” Sky greeted Cortez as he approached the dock.
It took Cortez a few moments to respond. “Arr, ahoy yourself! And who might you be, muchacho?”
Sky, Dopple, and Anne hopped aboard the ship. “I am the self-proclaimed great-sailing Captain Sky. These here are my first mate, Dopple, and my cabin girl, Anne.”
“Cabin GIRL?!” Cortez asked. “I think you have that hat of yours on too tight, muchacho!”
“You have your tastes, and I have mine,” Sky replied. “Speaking of tastes, I’ve heard you have a taste for treasure.”
“Arr, that be true,” Cortez replied.
“Surely a pirate of your current… um… life cycle point doesn’t need that much treasure.”
“Preposterous!” Cortez replied. “That hat is really too tight on your head, mi amigo! There’s no such thing as too much treasure! To a point, of course.”
“We only need one little thing. I do believe it’s in your hoard.”
“And that is?”
“It’s a little, blue, star-shaped rock. I doubt you could find any real use for it.”
Cortez thought for a moment. “True… How about a deal, mi amigo? I give you the rock…”
“Yes?”
“…and you give me all the rest of your treasure.”
“Greedy one, aren’t we? You have a deal, Sir Cortez.” Sky floated over to Anne (a. k. a. “Eve”) and handed her a photograph of the Sapphire Star. “Here, I got this when I stopped by Glitzville. Go into the ship and bring out the object in this photograph. Nothing else. Got it?”
Anne just nodded.
“Good then,” Sky replied. “Off with you.”
Eve walked to the ship’s stern and opened the door towards the captain’s cabin.
***
The X-Naut squadron moved silently along a corridor in the Volcano’s hull. Mostly, they hugged the passageway’s wall, but when someone passed, they quickly managed to leap up and stick to the ceiling. It was part of their training as the X-Naut division responsible for espionage. Since the Thousand-Year Door incident, they’d been training to be even more silent and sneaky.
After a while, Reggie decided that it would probably be easier to keep moving along the ceiling, halting only when someone passed. They moved just as quickly as before with this method, and maybe a bit quicker.
Eventually, the corridor they took moved them towards the bow of the Volcano, where the passed a cell. From the ceiling, they couldn’t see who or what was inside. After sending two each of the regular X-Nauts down both a bit ways from the cell to secure the area, Johnson and Reggie quietly bounded down onto the corridor floor.
Inside the cell were the following: a female Koopa with orange hair and rosy cheeks, a female Goomba in an archeologist’s uniform, a small gray creature with what looked like a pink dandelion on its head, a shadow with pink hair and a red and white hat, and a white mouse wearing a fancy red mask and red high heels.
Yep. Koopie Koo, Goombella, Petuni, Vivian, and Ms. Mowz, in that order.
Vivian was the first to notice the new visitors. “It isn’t exactly visiting hours. What do you want?” she asked.
“We are the X-Nauts,” Johnson replied. “We’ve come looking for Lord Crump.”
“He’s not in here with the rest of Yosie’s prisoners,” Vivian replied in a rather sour tone.
Ms. Mowz had an idea and decided to step in. She put on her most romantic voice, which to be perfectly honest wasn’t much different from her normal one.
“But while you’re here,” she said, “perhaps you could let us out of this old, cold place?” She added a small wink for flavor.
“Sorry, Miss,” Reggie replied, “but our orders are to apprehend Lord Crump, and no more.”
“X-Nauts!” Johnson called to the four regulars. “We’re moving on!”
And with that, the two Elite X-Nauts leapt back onto the corridor ceiling and all six continued down the corridor.
Goombella watched them leave. “Yeesh, what’s their beef?”
***
Eve entered Cortez’s cabin in his ghost ship, and was immediately stupefied by the sight. So stupefied, the door only closed when her arm dropped limp.
Huge piles of gold coins were stacked all over the room, each topped with a unique combination of rubies, opals, silver, and even the occasional royal crown. The desk in the center appeared to be the only non-decorative piece of furniture in the room, and even it was made of a very rare type of wood: oak. (Well, it’s rare on Pilt.)
Eve looked at the photograph that Yosie gave her and took a quick glance around the room. Eventually, she found the Sapphire Star on the peak of one of the farther piles. Its shine was as blue as the sea itself.
She did the best she could to go around the piles, and only moved over them on occasion. Yosie had commanded her not to take anything else besides the Star, but she couldn’t resist pocketing one or two small gems on her way over. After all, if she did get through all this alive, the price of the jewels would feed her family for a week, at least.
Eventually, she reached the base of the pile with the Sapphire Star. From her point of view, the pile looked almost as high as Mt. Everest.
Still, if she failed, Yosie might never let her go home. She took a deep breath and slowly began to climb.
It was almost like scaling a huge cliff. Luckily, coin piles shift a bit more than mountains, so it wasn’t too hard to find footholds. When there weren’t any in the coins, she usually found support by means of the occasional gemstone.
Eventually, after what seemed like hours, Eve reached the peak of the pile. After taking a few breaths to stabilize herself, she plucked the Sapphire Star from its perch and slid down the coin pile like she was riding a slide.
When she got at the bottom, she took one last jewel before leaving. After all, Cortez had so many of them. What was one emerald less?
***
Bowser sat on his throne in the throne room of Kastle Koopa, obviously bored out of his thick skull.
It was three days since the Koopalings had started to chase down Yosie and his idiotic gang of half-wits. Now that he realized it, since he'd had kids, he hadn’t had a quiet moment in so long. The good news was that he was still half sane; he only thought he heard the kids doing the things they usually did every two hours or so.
The door opened a bit.
“That you, kids?” he asked, half-perked up.
Kamek stuck his head in. “No, my Lordship, it’s me.”
The part of Bowser that perked up suddenly decided to perk down. “What is it?”
Kamak entered and closed the door behind him. “Well, I’ve been rather worried lately.”
“That half-breed is nothing to lose sleep over.”
“Not about Miss Karma,” Kamek replied, although he added “too much” to himself immediately afterwards, “About the other children.”
“So what? They wanted to get after that nutso Yosie. I don’t.”
“You do realize what will happen if the Koopalings don’t return.”
Bowser was caught off guard. “Um… no, I don’t.”
“If they fail to return, what will become of the Koopa family line? Who will take the throne when you get so old and big you won’t be able to fit in it anymore?”
“Was that an insult?” Bowser questioned with a slight growl.
“Um… no, my Lordship, I wasn’t thinking at the moment. The point is, you need to make sure your offspring survive to be old enough to do so without a shell!”
Bowser remained silent.
“Just a little something for you to think about, my Liege,” Kamek finished. He bowed slightly and left the throne room.
The reason for Bowser’s silence what that he was thinking. And when brute strength and brains meet like that, chances are something truly catastrophic would eventually happen.
Which it did. But that’s for later.
***
“Captain Sky” and “Dopple” waited with Cortez on the deck of the ghost ship. It had been about fifteen minutes since Eve had entered the ship, and Sky was almost out of patience.
“Five more minutes,” he growled out loud. “Five more and then I’m going in.”
It was at that moment that Eve emerged from the ship’s stern, carrying the Sapphire Star.
“Ah, Anne, glad you made it back,” Sky said. “I was starting to get worried.”
Eve muttered something.
“Sorry, did you say something?”
“I said ‘sorry’.” Eve spoke louder.
“Just give me the Sapphire Star,” Sky commanded, holding out a hand to receive the Star.
Eve walked over and gave it to him. Sky put it in his cloud.
“Pleasure doing business with you, Sir Cortez. Now, if you excuse me and my crew, we have to return to our ship.”
“Hold it, muchacho,” Cortez replied, in a rather threatening tone, “What about your end of the bargain? You promised me all the treasure you previously had when you landed!”
“See, that’s how things work out…” Sky said. “I don’t have any other treasure.”
“WHAT?! You lied to me, muchacho!”
“Actually, to the best of my memory, you’re the one that set the terms. You may start muttering to yourself in anger now.”
Cortez started muttering to himself in anger. While he did so, the trio of our antagonists (well, duo of antagonists with Eve) jumped ship and started heading back to the shanty.
Then something happened that, surprisingly, even Yosie didn’t expect.
Admiral Bobbery jumped out from behind a rock.
“The jig is up!” he shouted.
***
On the other side of the shanty, Pa-Patch the Bob-omb sailor was talking a quick walk in the nearby jungle. He didn’t know about what was happening on the beach, but at the moment, he didn’t completely care. Mostly because he didn’t know, and because he didn’t know… sorry about that. I’m sounding like Morton again.
Anyways, his little walk was interrupted when he noticed a nearby bush was rustling.
“’Ello…” she said, “Who’s there?”
The response, in a familiar voice was, “X-NAUTS! PUNISH HIM!”
Suddenly, a huge swarm of X-Nauts leapt from the bush and attacked Pa-Patch!
“Who are you blokes?!” he shouted as he tried to fight them off.
“Shy Guys!” another voice said from the bush. “Assist!”
A whole army of Shy Guys of multiple varieties leapt from the bush and continued the assault on Pa-Patch.
Of course, he was a tough old sea bomb.
But not that tough. With the Shy Guys in the picture, he was out and moaning in about fifteen seconds.
The last words he heard before blacking out were, “Blast it, Crump! That wasn’t even close to our record!”
***
“What jig is up, you old sea bomb?” Sky asked Bobbery as the old navigator blocked his path.
“It took me a while,” Bobbery replied slowly. “Oh, it took me a while all right, but it was long enough for me to see the truth. I thought your first mate looked rather familiar, and now I remembered where I saw him before… on my adventure with Mario a few years ago! He’s Doopliss, isn’t he? ISN’T HE?”
Sky remained emotionless for a few moments before shouting, “GENERAL GUY! CRUMP! ATTACK!”
***
“You heard that?” General Guy said quickly in the jungle.
“That’s the signal!” Crump replied.
“SHY GUYS!” General Guy cried.
“X-NAUTS!” Crump added.
“ATTACK!” they called together.
And with that, a force of over two hundred Shy Guys, Groove Guys, all other types of Guys, and X-Nauts swarmed the shanty.
***
Two seconds after the call, Bobbery could swear he could hear a huge rumbling behind him. He turned about and saw a huge swarm of Shy Guys, Groove Guys, all other types of Guys, and X-Nauts.
“WHAT IN BLAZES?” he cried.
He turned again and saw that Sky, Doopliss, and Anne were gone.
Then Sky’s admiral jacket fell from the sky, followed shortly by his hat.
After shoving the clothes off, he looked up to see “Sky”, two miles up, was tossing down his twin eye patches and putting on sunglasses. On his cloud were Doopliss, getting back into party attire, and “Anne”, who seemed rather scared of heights.
But the detail Bobbery noticed most was the fact “Sky” was wearing a black shirt with a Poison Mushroom and the words “Game Over” on it.
“By the sea, no!” he called.
“By the sea, yes!” the Lakitu cried back as he put shades back on his cloud (who seemed to enjoy their presence). “The supercomputer276 has reported in!”
Yosie pulled out the G. O. Wand. “You can keep the coat. I was feeling rather stuffy in the thing.”
“Whatever you intend to do with the Sapphire Star, I will not allow it!” Bobbery cried as he lit his fuse with a huge blaze.
Yosie cried something while waving the wand, but Bobbery didn’t hear it as his fuse went in and he exploded in a Bob-omblast.
The sound of the blow attracted the fighting going on in the shanty and everyone stopped and watched as the smoke started to clear.
However, when it did clear, Yosie and his friends were unharmed, protected behind a blue shield.
“Gack ack ack!” Yosie laughed. “Nothing passes the Barrier Beam! NOTHING!”
He floated back to the ground at a curve from Bobbery as he lowered the protective sphere.
“Now it’s my turn to light up the night,” Yosie announced, “by putting out yours!” He started spinning the G. O. Wand like an expert baton twirler.
Bobbery held his ground.
Yosie cried three words that unleashed a most unusual, unique, and very effective attack.
“Black Luster Nightmare!”
As he did so, he stopped spinning the wand so that it pointed at Bobbery. Then a huge beam of black shot out of the wand at the old sea bomb.
Bobbery dodged to his right and the beam missed, but it continued to shoot along the ground without slowing down. Eventually, it ran into one of the Game Over’s Spear Guys. He was instantly consumed in the ray.
After a few seconds, Yosie pulled the wand back and the beam stopped, but where the Spear Guy had been sat a black statue of a Spear Guy.
“Blast!” Yosie cried. “I missed!”
One of the Toads from the shanty knocked lightly on the Spear Guy statue, then after a moment’s pause, he pulled out a coin and began to scratch the side of the statue to reveal a bright yellow underneath.
“Gold!” he cried. “He turned the Spear Guy into a gold statue! But why is it coated in black?”
“Hey,” Yosie replied, “it’s not called ‘Black Luster’ for nothing.”
“Um, boss…” Doopliss whispered in Yosie’s ear (or where his ears would be). “The battle…”
“Oh yeah,” Yosie thought out loud.
Bobbery by now had recovered from his dodge and started tossing time bombs at Yosie. The evil genius didn’t need to dodge. Instead, he swung the G. O. Wand like a baseball bat and swatted away the incoming projectiles.
“Look, as much fun as I’m having, I really have go get back on the road. I have a lot more bad stuff to do.”
Without a sound, an Ember materialized behind him. Yosie didn’t notice, but Doopliss did.
“Um… Yosie… there’s something behind you…”
Yosie turned the wand so it appeared to point straight up, but it was slightly leaning towards him.
“Aquaburst Cannon,” he said calmly. A gush of water came out of the G. O. Wand, moved in a graceful arc over the three invaders, and landed square in the face of the Ember. It only remained in place for two and a half seconds before disappearing.
“Now where was I?” Yosie said, getting his battle face back on. “Oh yes. Darkfire Shadow!”
The burst of fiery darkness lit up the ground and a huge wildfire split the area between Yosie and Bobbery, effectively ending Bobbery’s hopeful attempt to sneak up while the Ember distracted him.
“Doopliss, get the Volcano over here,” Yosie commanded. Doopliss nodded and pulled out a walkie-talkie. Setting the channel to 46, the Duplighost quickly talked to Susan, who was the acting officer since both the ghost and Yosie were away.
“What kind of villain are you?” Bobbery called to Yosie from across the fire.
Yosie’s reply was, “A successful one.”
Bobbery’s mind raced. He was getting nowhere, fast. If he was to stop Yosie, his best bet would be to charge, and if he got lit on the way… well, come to think of it, that would be a bonus.
The old sea bomb ran forward, barreling towards the Lakitu. He seemed very furious.
Yosie, of course, remained calm. He positioned the wand like a golf club and waited.
A huge blaze lit Bobbery’s fuse, created from the fire and the Bob-omb’s will.
The entire shanty’s population plus the Shy Guys and X-Nauts of the Game Over watched tensely.
It was just as Bobbery was about to blow and hit Yosie did the insane kid swing the wand about and knock Bobbery high up into the air, landing right in the middle of the shanty. Just as the fuse was going in.
“RETREAT!” Crump and General Guy cried, but only about three-quarters of the Game Over forces under their control cleared the massive explosion in time.
When the smoke cleared after what seemed years, the entire shanty was as good as gone, with the exception of some foundation and Bobbery, knocked out, smack dab in the middle. There were also several other Toads and Bob-ombs scattered about, barely alive, along with the quarter of the Game Over forces that didn’t make it.
A giant shadow moved over the remains of the small town and stopped. A series of ropes slithered down and what remained of the Game Over forces climbed them back up to the G. O. S. Volcano. Of course, Yosie flew Doopliss, Crump, and General Guy up.
A minute or two after the doomship left, Pa-Patch, just recovered, ran in from the jungle.
“’Dmiral Bobbery!” he shouted out. “I was just ‘ttacked in the jungle ‘nd-“ It was then that his brain registered the current condition of the town. “’Nd apparently it’s not nothin’ new.”
To Be Continued...
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