Episode 1: The Phonecall
It is one year since Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. In that year, Princess Peach has been kidnapped no less than 67 times by Bowser. Mario has obviously saved her all those times. Peach’s most recent kidnapping was 11 weeks ago. Not that this is in any way relevant to the story, I just thought you’d be interested.
But soon, very soon, an evil plot is about to take unfold. And it is here, at the home of the Mario Bros, that stage 1 of this plot takes place.
It is just a normal Sunday afternoon in the home of Mario and Luigi. Mario is taking a nap on the sofa and Luigi is spring-cleaning. Mario is in the middle of a pleasant dream about cheddar and Brie and all Swiss varieties. Suddenly the phone rings.
*RING RING*
Mario: MAMA!!! MIA!!!
Luigi: Mario! It’s just the phone, you silly thing! I’ll get it! “Hello?”
It’s Princess Peach on the phone.
Peach: (OW!) Hello Luigi! (OUCH!)
Luigi: Hello Peach! How are you? You sound as though you’re in pain…
Peach: No! (OW!) Not at all! Luigi?
Luigi: Yes Peach?
Peach: Could Mario (OW!) possibly come to the castle this evening? I’ll be waiting in the front garden. Thank you!!! (OW!)
Luigi: Okay, I will have Mario visit you this evening! Bye!
Peach: (OW!) Bye!
Mario has gone back to sleep.
Luigi: Mario? Mario? WAKE UP!!!!
Mario: MAMAMIA!!!
Episode 2: Murder in Mushroom City
Mario and Luigi have just received a phonecall from Princess Peach. She has invited Mario to her castle. So straight away Mario sets off to Mushroom City, the location of Peach's castle. Along the way he meets Toadsworth!
Toadsworth: AH! Master Mario!
Mario: Yahoo!
Toadsworth: Yes, quite… Well anyway, I was actually on my way to see you myself, you see the men of my council have spotted some strange-looking fellows in this fine city. They all wear obscure uniforms and they hang around together and have been overheard talking about Princess Peach and yourself. I don't know the details but it sounds really dangerous. So what are YOU doing in the city?
Mario: *jump, jump, bounce*
Toadsworth: Oh! You're going to see the princess! Well, why don't we take a taxi to my house for a spot of tea and then the castle will be walking distance from there!
Mario: Yahoo!
Toadsworth: TAXI!!!
A taxi stops for Mario and Toadsworth.
Taxi Driver: Oh my GOSH!!! It's MARIO!!!
Toadsworth: Yes, well… Can you take us to the Council Chairman's house?
Taxi Driver: I certainly can… I can't believe I'm driving the world famous Mario!
Toadsworth looks round the taxi and finds a newspaper and starts reading.
Toadsworth: Oh how awful….
Mario: ???
Toadsworth: Mario, read this!
Mario takes newspaper and reads:
MUSHROOM CITY MURDERS
Within the last week, there have
been a series of strange murders. These include: Goombriel Goombason, head
of the Goomba's rights assosiation; Marvin Magikoopa, President of Magistuff
Inc; and Toady Mushey, Vice Chairman of the Mushroom Council.
Toadsworth: That Toady was a great person… It will be a shame to replace him… On a happier note, I've got my granddaughter over for the weekend. She said she missed you, Mario. She hasn't seen you since tou got that Ultra Hammer!
Taxi Driver: Well we're here!
The taxi stops.
Toadsworth: Thank you very much! So how much will that be?
Taxi Driver: $7.50.
Toadsworth: That's $7 and there's .50! There you go!
Taxi Driver: Bye Mario! I can't wait to tell everyone! I'VE DRIVEN MARIO!!!
Mario and Toadsworth are just about
to open the door to Toadsworth's house. But before they can, they hear
a piercing bloodcurdling screech. And it comes from inside the house…
Episode 3: Noughts and Crosses
Mario was on the way to meet Princess Peach. However, he met Toadsworth along the way and agreed to have tea at his house before visiting the princess. Toadsworth told Mario of the mysterious murders that had been taking place, and by the sound of things there had just been another one…
*SCREAM!*
Toadsworth: *opens the door* Gasp! No! Toadette!!!
Toadette is lying dead on the floor. Two X-Nauts are standing over her, one with a knife.
X-Naut 1: You fool! You were only supposed to kill the Chairman of the Mushroom Council!
X-Naut 2: But she called me fat! Anyway, it doesn't matter, he's back now!
X-Naut 1: Yes, but he's protected!
X-Naut 2: I can take on this chump!
X-Naut 1: BAD IDEA!!! STOP!!!
The foolish X-Naut tries to battle Mario, but is beaten easily.
X-Naut 2: Ouch!
X-Naut 1: Come on! We've got to tell the boss!
Toadsworth: Why do you want to kill me? I'm a senile old man who only has about another year to live anyway…
X-Naut 2: Isn't it obvious? We are trying to destroy the chairman so that the X-Nauts can control the Mushroom Council!
X-Naut 1 slaps his foolish partner.
X-Naut 1: We aren't supposed give that stuff away, you moron! Quickly! Let's go to the castle! The boss will surely have the princess by now… We can get the chairman another time.
The X-Nauts leave before they can be stopped.
Toadsworth: The boss will surely have
the princess? But then… OH MY GOSH!!! Mario! We have got to get to the
castle! We have no time to lose!!!
Episode 4: Tricked
When Mario went into Toadsworth's house, he found that Toadsworth's granddaughter, Toadette, had been murdered by the X-Nauts who had got into the house. The X-Nauts let slip the fact that their leader was at Peach's castle. So Mario and Toadsworth make haste to the castle in the hopes that they are not too late.
Toadsworth: Mario! Oh! What if we are not in time? What if Peach is killed? What if she is kidnapped? What if we never see her again? OH! I dread to think!!!
They get to the castle walls and find it is guarded by X-Nauts.
X-Naut A: Mmmm-Mario!
X-Naut B: Umm. What do we do? Sh-sh-should we attack?
X-Naut A: No, RUN!!!
They run away.
Mario: ???
Toadsworth: Well… That was easy… Well let's advance into the castle then…
Mario: *boing, Boing*
Toadsworth: WHAT? She said she'd wait in the garden? Okay then, she should be here right about-
???: Buh buh buh huh huh huh!
Toadsworth: Who are you? I demand that you show yourself!
Lord Crump: So! Mario is here already! Ha! You suspected nothing when you got that phonecall, did you? Buh! Huh!
Mario: ???
Lord Crump: Oh! Of course! BRING THE PRINCESS!
The princess is escorted out of the castle by a couple of X-Nauts. One is holding her hand behind her back.
Peach: Mario! They forced me! They tortured me into giving you that phoneca-
Lord Crump: Silence, Princess! X-Nauts! Take her away!
Princess Peach is led to a helicopter and taken away.
Lord Crump: Now to make a clean job of things…
Lord Crump reaches into his pocket and pulls out a remote. He pushes the button.
Toadsworth: W-w-w-what are you doing?!
Lord Crump: Lo and behold! The new and improved Super Magnus Von Grapple!!!
The robot reaches its extendable arm towards Toadsworth and grabs him. Toadsworth struggles but he is too old and weak to break free. He is gradually squeezed to death.
Mario tries to fight this monster, but it appears to be immune to all of Mario's attacks. Lord Crump gloats and laughs while Mario is constantly trying to fight back. Eventually Lord Crump grows tired - he picks up Mario and hurls him far away.
Lord Crump: (Surely that will finish
him off once and for all!!!)
Episode 5: X-Nauts in Koopa Castle
To think this whole situation started as a friendly visit to Peach's castle… The X-Nauts have captured Princess Peach and now have control of the Mushroom Kingdom government, Toadsworth and Toadette are dead, and Mario has been hurled miles outside the Mushroom Kingdom by Lord Crump's improved Magnus Von Grapple. On the whole, things really aren't looking up for any of the goodies at the moment.
But what of Bowser, you ask? Surely he has not been left out of this fan fic? Of course not! It couldn't be Mario-related without him! As Bowser sits on his large and comfortable throne, he does not know that things aren't about to look up for him either…
Bowser: I'm out of evil plans… I've tried them all! Is there no way to defeat that Mario?
Kammy Koopa enters on her broomstick.
Kammy: Your obnoxiousness! I have found some disturbing news!
Bowser: Well come on! Spit it out!
Kammy: I have seen some commotion at Peach's castle, and Peach does not appear to be present…
Bowser: Do continue…
Kammy: Well… I thought I saw Mario enter the castle grounds and it looks like…
Bowser: Yes...?
Kammy: Well… It looks like someone… Or something really huge...
Bowser: YES?!
Kammy: Well it looks like Mario was defeated…
Bowser: WHAT!?! W-w-w-where is he now?
Kammy: Well… I don't know. My crystal ball can't locate him so… It looks as though he must be outside the Mushroom Kingdom, or...
Bowser: I can't believe it! Someone has achieved what I could not for YEARS! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!
Kammy: The worst has yet to come…
Bowser: WORSE?!
Kammy: Well there is an army of badly dressed soldiers on the way to the castle!
Bowser: WHAT?! WHEN WILL THEY BE HERE?!
There is a loud knock at the door. Bowser looks out the window.
Bowser: HEY! What do you want?
Lord Crump: We want your castle!
Kammy: Why?
Lord Crump: How are all of us going to fit in one castle?!
Bowser: Good point… HEY WAIT! NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY CASTLE!!!
Lord Crump: I have tickets to Lemmy's Land!
Kammy: Like the great King Bowser is going to fall for tha-
Bowser: I'M IN!!!
20 minutes later...
Lord Crump: Pleasure doing business with you!
Bowser: … Wait! THESE TICKETS ARE FAKE!!!
Kammy: How on earth are we going to get the castle back now?
Bowser: We will worry about that later! For now, we must look for Mario and finish him off.
Kammy: Why?
Bowser: I WILL BE A LAUGHING STOCK IF IT GETS OUT THAT SOMEONE ELSE KILLED MARIO!!!
Kammy: But he could be anywhere!
Bowser: I have the perfect search party:
KOOPALINGS!!!
Episode 6: Childhood Memories
While Bowser searches endlessly for Mario, Mario lies in a coma. He would surely die if not for the discovery of group of Yoshis. They find Mario and take him to the ancient Yoshi. When he sees Mario, he gasps!
Ancient Yoshi: It's been so long…
Yoshi A: So long since what, Grandpa?
Ancient Yoshi: The one… The last time I saw him he was but a baby… It's a long story…
Yoshi B: I like stories! And you are the best storyteller, Grandpa!
Ancient Yoshi: Well… Remember the story of the evil magician who tried to capture the babies?
Yoshi A: That's my favorite story! The magician tried to capture the babies who he had foreseen to defeat the son of the Evil King Morton Koopa!
Ancient Yoshi: Yes! Morton had built several castles and fortresses here on Yoshi's Island! Each castle was filled with Morton's terrible monsters. But Morton died at a young age and his only son was still too young to takeover, so Morton's most trusted advisor, Kamek, became the temporary king. He foresaw that two babies would cause problems for the Koopa family so he went to kidnap the babies that were being carried by the stork. He got one baby successfully, but the other fell to this island and helped us to end the dark age of the Koopas.
Yoshi B: So, you mean to say that this is the baby from that story? The baby who was partly responsible for defeat of the Koopas?
Ancient Yoshi: No mistaking him!
Mario finally wakes up from his coma.
Mario: !!! ???
Yoshi A: Oh! Everyone look! He's woken up!
Ancient Yoshi: Ah! Welcome back! It's been so long… Too long…
Mario: ???
Ancient Yoshi: Of course! You were but a baby! I'm quite sure you won't remember a thing! Well, it's about time you knew the story of your childhood.
The ancient Yoshi tells the whole story of Yoshi's island.
Mario: WOW!!!
Ancient Yoshi: Yes. Then we presented you to the Mushroom King and that was the last we saw of you… I suppose you were deported from the Mushroom Kingdom so that Bowser wouldn't find you…
Suddenly Mario's mobile phone rings. He has received a text message from an unknown number.
Phone: We know of your mission and we have traced your location. Meet us at the Super Happy Tree tomorrow at dawn.
Ancient Yoshi: What is this… mission?
Mario tells the ancient Yoshi that he is the famous Mario of the Mushroom kingdom and that he was defeated by the X-Nauts, in sign language of course (he cannot talk.)
Ancient Yoshi: Ah… I always knew you were a special one. I knew you'd do great things…
Yoshi B: Should we go to the Super Happy Tree? I mean, it could be a trap…
Yoshi A: We'll go with him! It's not far…
Who could we waiting at the Super Happy Tree? Could it be Lord Crump wanting to finish Mario off? Or could it be someone else? I know the answer, but I'm not going to tell you. Yet.