The AK Series, Part 1: The Curse of the Seven Boom Booms

By Agahnim Koopa

Part 3: Water Land
Chapter 1: Boss Bass Peril

I doubt that many people have seen a lake that has been completely blocked off. Yet, here I was, standing beside one. The Hydro Bubble was all well and good, but how could I get inside to use it? I thought. Boss Basses were like whales; they were mammals. They couldn’t live underwater forever. They needed to leap out for air. If I could find that area, then I could access it from there.

After a quick search, I found a small pool where Basses were leaping from the waters. Applying the Bubble to my head, I leapt in.

My heart sank as I looked in. Moonbarra was a genius. He had installed metal doors that opened and shut for the creatures that used them. I was guessing he had installed a chip into their bodies that opened the gate. But how would I get through?

Thinking about it, I decided. It was the only way. I leapt across the pool just as a Boss came up. I was kept in its mouth. Unknown to most, they do not actually eat people. They hold them in their mouth until they find a place to put them. It tends to be in even deeper water for Mario, which is what kills him. Anyway, I could see the doors opening for the Boss, and when he had finished getting through them, I leapt out. I was in the world of the Cheep Cheeps.

Chapter 2: Moonbarra

Amazing what fish can do. I found myself in a land that looked amazingly like the world above it. There were eight different areas of it, with pondweed on some, mini-volcanos on others, and sand floating above another. Looking at it more closely, I realized that this was not the land, just a mere model. Very well made, though. There were small dots on all the lands, however. Moving in closer, I saw that these were small pictures of Cheep Cheeps. My eyes widened. This was not just a model. This was an invasion plan! The Cheep Cheeps were planning to rule all the lands! I wondered what to do. The Boom Boom had to be killed. That was important. I would inform Bowser of this. That didn’t mean I couldn’t do something now, though.

With a grin, I cut the plan in half and threw the pieces away. That should slow procedures down. That adventure is for another day, though. Right now, I looked around for the actual city. I saw it quickly, the stereotypical underwater utopia. I swam towards it.

Minutes later, I reached it. It was completely unprotected, which made sense considering how well the other area was barricaded. As I neared the city, I saw a large gathering of fish. Turning on the earth-gravity of my Bubble, I hid behind a pillar. The fish were saying something, all together.

“Who is our leader?
Who is the one who keeps us safe?
Who feeds us?
Who are our lord and master?
Moonbarra, Moonbarra”

They then went back inside. I frowned. Moonbarra had obviously become a dictator. Sneaking in through an open door, I saw a door. Opening it, I found several Cheep Cheeps with headphone equipment, monitoring several screens. Hitting them all with the boomerang to concuss them, I entered. Who knew, maybe there was some clue as to where Um was. I found a room in the castle, but it couldn’t be real. A Cheep Cheep with very light-colored skin and a crown was sitting on a throne. That was obviously Moonbarra. But there was another, a female with very short brown hair and a harpoon. She was a Boom Boom.

That convinced me. Moonbarra had made an alliance with the Boom Booms, and planned to join them in ruling the planet. There was more at stake here than I thought. Quickly, I left the security room. What was the plan? Hmm... Maybe there was a switch somewhere that would drain the water in the throne room. That would take care of Moonbarra. Then I could take out Um faster. Looking back in the security room for a hint, I found a notice on the wall.

“If enemies have entered the castle, there is a switch here that will drain every room in the castle.”

I smiled as I saw a switch there. Too easy. My hand hovered above it. Should I? End the life of every single Cheep Cheep in the castle to kill one? No. Lives weren’t to be played with like that. I looked at the sheet again.“For single room drainage, there is a switch in the top-security vault.”I looked around the room for a map. There wasn’t one on the walls. Looking down, I saw something attached to the horn of the Cheep Cheep. Pulling it off, I found it was a piece of parchment. Quickly, I unfolded it. It was a map of the entire castle, folded up small as a security device. Apparently, the vault was in a large room near the rear of the castle. Grimacing, I set off.

In a well-guarded room of the castle, a Cheep Cheep raised his head in alarm. It truly was a curse, this ability. He had been born with a defect that allowed him to read minds. While thinking of his wonderful castle, he had picked up the thoughts of someone in another area. Very worrying thoughts.

Should I? End the life of every single Cheep Cheep in the castle to kill one? No. Lives aren’t to be played with like that.

He thought, slowly. Being a genius, he could work it out. It wasn’t a Cheep Cheep, the reference by species was too… foreign. No. If he wanted to kill one Cheep Cheep in the area, it was probably him.

“What issss the problem?”

Um’s sharp voice cut through his thoughts like a knife.

“Someone in the castle is planning to kill me. Someone who got past the lake barricades and has got some sort of oxygen helmet. Can he fight with such a restriction? We shall see.”

Moonbarra picked up a phone.

“Aquan? Clear the corridors of this castle. We have an intruder. Time to let loose the Destructor.”

Chapter 3: The Destructor

As I wandered the watery corridors of the castle, a sudden shrill alarm burst from a hidden wall. Instantly, the whole corridors were deserted. Amazing. I wondered for a moment what this noise meant, but didn’t have any more time. In my back, I felt a spike. Suddenly, I was being charged forward at an astounding pace. I tried to twist my head back to see what was half-killing me, but I couldn’t see. I saw a wall zooming towards me. I had to act. Turning the skateboard into a sword, I held it out before me. As we approached the wall, I forced the sword into a wall, back flipping over the creature. However, I crashed into a fleshy mass and fell to the ground. Pulling the sword from the wall, I examined my foe. It was a Cheep Cheep, but one so massive it could only just fit through the castle corridors. In fact, it seemed like… yes, the corridors were designed for it. This was obviously a form of defense for the fish. But no alarm had been set off signifying my presence. The only warning was the alarm that had triggered the Cheep Cheeps’ hiding. So someone knew that I was here, and I also was not a Cheep Cheep: two pieces of information I hadn’t wanted the Cheep Cheeps to have. Right now, I needed a plan. The vault was down a corridor to the right. The area was set out like a square, so if I blocked it off here it would have to go around the rest of the square to find me. I’d take that chance. I struck the sword into a weak area of the wall, and was dismayed to find it had done nothing. Changing it to the gun, I launched several bullets into one of the supporting parts of the roof, and it collapsed. I ran, as fast as I could, down the passage. Finding the room I was trying to locate, I leapt into it. I found a set of levers, labeled for each room of the castle. Finding the one labeled Throne Room, I pulled it. I heard alarms go off, and water started rushing into the area. I realized: the extracted water had to go somewhere, so it went to the area where the order had been given. As I turned around, I saw the titanic Cheep Cheep in the doorway. Oh no…

I understood. This was where the Cheep Cheep was kept. In the event of emergency, it would be released. Because this was the most dangerous room, the Cheep Cheep would return here. Of course, the excess water here would summon it back. Doubtless, the staff would have some way of repelling the grotesque beast. I was no match against this strange creature. Launching a bullet into the creature’s head, I looked around the room for inspiration. Nothing here except the levers.

Flash of inspiration. Reasoning that all the Cheep Cheeps were still safe, I pulled all of the corridor levers except the throne room one. Instantly, all the water drained out of the corridors. Hopefully, this would kill the creature.

Sadly, I was wrong. Instead, steel gates slid down by the door, trapping me in. The excess water rushed into the cell where the Cheep Cheep and I were locked. It was soon to be my tomb.

Banging on the door, I screamed. Anything, even the Boom Boom, would be better than being trapped in a room with this satanic monster. The Cheep Cheep opened its mouth and made a noise similar to a vacuum cleaner. Lots of water disappeared down its throat, and it seemed to expand to block my way out. I was dead. I knew it, and I felt almost blissful. This creature would be my murderer. I was about to be slaughtered by a genetic monstrosity and I couldn’t do anything about it. Closing my eyes, I curled up in a fetal position on the floor and lay there, unmoving, for the rest of time.

Or so I thought. But then the door that kept us both locked in there was suddenly punched through by a spike attached to a chain that continued into the Cheep Cheep. Jumping to my feet, I felt something slimy upon my feet. I grimaced; it was the fish’s heart. The fish crumpled, and the door slid open. I heard a panicky voice saying, “Oooh, he’s easily disgusted, Um, he should be no threat. Couldn’t even kill the Destructor. But I digress. There was absolutely no need for that, you could have waited until the door was open and the Destructor could have been left there, it was the trademark of my entire family and the Cheep Cheep dynasty…”

“Relax, Moonbarra.” This was a colder, lazy female voice and I guessed this was Um. She seemed to have trouble with the language they were using; the tongue seemed to be in the way of her teeth for making sounds. “Your precious fish will ssssurvive. Cheep Cheep have four heartssss, remember?”

Moonbarra made noises of apology and self-disgust, but Um kept talking. ”Perssssonally, I think the boy issss more of a danger. He couldn’t kill the Desssstructor, of coursssse, the Desssstructor issss indesssstructible. But he could be a thorn in our ssssidessss when we enact Graven. But firsssst…”

Without warning, the gruesome spike was thrust into my left arm. I screamed. I now had a chain running right through one of my limbs. My last view of that room was the devastating Boom Boom and the Cheep Cheep leering over me, surrounded in a cloud that I knew to be my own blood.

Chapter 4: Um

I woke up far too soon. A rough hand slammed against my face, making me jolt. “Get up, usssselessssssss.”

I did so, afraid of Um’s harpoon. I glanced at my left arm. There were metal plates covering my arm, and I nearly collapsed from its weight. Um laughed harshly.

“Nice, issssn’t it? For our battle, I am giving you a rather disssstinct dissssadvantage.”

I looked around. We had to be in the throne room. Moonbarra was nowhere to be seen, and I guessed he had run to safety.

This had to be the worst situation I had ever been in. I had a hole in my arm, a shattered bone, no weapon, and my enemy was preparing to attack. The last time I had no weapon of my own was in an armory, but now I only had a heavy arm which I could hardly raise.

Um wrapped her fingers deliberately around the end of the harpoon. I prepared to jump out of the way, but then I felt something. Something was out of place. I looked back at Um’s hand, studying it. Her right hand had six fingers on it. Um fired the harpoon across at me and I sidestepped. Um then turned around while keeping the harpoon extended. The result was that the spike slammed into the metal plating in my arm, denting it. I grabbed the spike on the chain and pulled it away from Um, hoping to break it. Um sneered, then released the button on the side of the harpoon and I was forcibly dragged back in. The harpoon was at about the level of my heart and I didn’t have four; when the harpoon stopped, I would be flung into it and my heart would be pierced. I would certainly die. If I let go, I would be flung headfirst into the wall on the opposite side and the end result would be no different. There was only one option, which I took. I flipped myself over so that my legs were in front of my head. At the high speeds, my leg went straight into Um’s head. She yelled out in pain, and I took advantage of her discomfort by grabbing the harpoon. She made a desperate lunge for it but missed, and watched helplessly as I aimed the harpoon at her head.

“I’m not afraid to do it.”

Um’s masculine face contorted with a grim smile. “Fool! I am the consssstructor of Graven! You think I rely ssssolely on that?”

Um pulled out two small, black daggers from folds in her skin.

“I trained under The Masssster! I am a black belt! You might wissssh to ssssurrender now, little boy.” She sneered at me again. Anger coursed through my body; I had killed two of her comrades! I was by no means a little boy! I pushed a button on the harpoon and it shot out towards Um. In a flash, she had leaped out the way and pushed a button on the side of one of the daggers. I was perplexed; why did a simple dagger need a button? However, this was no simple dagger. When the button was pressed, the end of the blade extended out on a chain. I understood; this was a dagpoon. Made to be easily transported, what appeared to be a simple dagger was really a harpoon. However, it had more features than simple disguise. When extended, the point at the end could spin at high speeds, dealing more damage than normal. Also, each blade could emit small streams of fire. Another safety feature was that the point could be quickly blunted at the touch of a button. The blade’s full extension was about half the distance between us, and Um had set the blade spinning; I could feel a strong wind rushing through my hair.

I grabbed her original harpoon, ran around to the side of Um, and fired the harpoon at the button that set it spinning. The spike broke through it, setting the end permanently spinning. I had done what I needed; she could no longer retract that blade. Um sneered again and pushed the broken button, to see what it would do. The blade stopped spinning for a moment, started up again, and immediately retracted back in. The dagpoon was wrecked. Um frowned, and activated the second dagpoon. However, this version began to spit fire towards me. I screamed as the metal plates in my arms heated up, hurting the rest of my skin. But then I realized; we were underwater! Why was the fire working?

“How come the fire isn’t extinguished?” I shouted to Um. She smirked at me.

“You have only jusssst noticed? Idiot. You, being a sssspoilt Koopa, will not be familiar with The Dessssolation. Thissss dagpoon wassss blessssssssed by him, and wassss passssssssed down through the Dessssolatoriessss until The Masssster killed the lasssst one and took it. Then I killed him. Now it issss mine.”

I didn’t know who The Desolation or the Desolatories were, but frankly I didn’t want to. All it meant to me was that its fire would not be doused. Frankly, I could see no possible way to win this battle. She had a harpoon that could sping and spit fire, and many years of combat training, and I had a bog-standard harpoon, a metal plate in one arm, and hardly any combat training. My best weapon was DAD knows where and I needed a miracle to save me. And fate intervened as I got one. Um keeled over, obviously dead. I looked where Um was, expecting to see my savior, and I certainly did. It was me.

Chapter 5: AKx2

At least, it appeared to be me. After a few moments, I identified it as the clone I’d created to defeat Cinco. Remembering what Brevis’s book had said, I turned my harpoon upon it. It laughed.

“Is that the way you treat your god?”

“You are no god of mine!” I shouted at my twin.

“Soon I will be everyone’s god. These Boom Booms are thoroughly annoying, as are you. Once I have killed them, I will be able to take over Plit without any trouble. But you must die as well. As you die, remember the name of AKx2!”

AKx2 produced his scimitar from a pocket and created a ball of black energy. I knew my duty; I had to reach the scimitar. If he had it, he could clone himself and create an army strong enough to conquer the world, just as he had said. I used the harpoon and attempted to pierce his arm; he swung his scimitar at the point on the end and a black ball traveled down the chain, breaking it. I quickly dropped it, and watched in horror as black energy shattered the harpoon. However, AKx2 did not gloat. He looked pensive as he continued charging the ball up.

“I have no need to remain here. After I release this ball, it will transform your skin into blackness. You will be forced to carry out my bidding, despite your brain screaming not to. You will be pure evil, and you will hate yourself. See you soon.”

AKx2 flicked the scimitar lazily, and the dark ball shot towards me. He teleported out. I quickly grabbed the dagpoon Um had dropped and let out a burst of flame towards the dark ball. It began to shrink. It was a race, to see if the fire would shrink it before it hit me. I moved a step to the right, and the ball moved as well. However, the fires of the Desolation had done their job. The orb had gone. Leaving the room, I found my skateboard next door and, slipping the dagpoon into my hair, a place where no potential kidnapper would look, headed to the surface to get medical attention for my arm.

To Be Continued...

Did you like this submission?
If you would like to send some feedback to the author of this submission, please complete this form.

What's your name? 
This is required.

What's your Email address?
Only enter this if you would like the author to respond.

How do you rate this submission? 
Please rate on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being best.

Does this submission belong in Little Lemmy's Land? 
Little Lemmy's Land is designed to include the top ten percent of submissions.

Would you like to see more from this author? 

Comments and suggestions: Stunning, fast, FREE!
FREE feedback form powered by

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.