Baby Troubles

By Lemmy's Campfire Tales

"Well, I guess we're here!" Croco comments as he looks around the dungeon cell they have been placed in. "I just knew that those X-Nauts would be there." Croco then picks the lock, opens the cell door, and escapes with the rest of his band of thieves.


Meanwhile, back with Kamek and Kammy...

The two Magikoopa are in the midst of casting a spell to rebuild the castle, trying to be as quick as possible as they are expecting Bowser to arrive any second.


Croco and his allies walk through the long hall of dungeons while listening to see if anyone is present nearby. The only thing he hears is the sound of nine infants screaming in one room. He barges into this room and sees what's become of the Kongs...


Back with Ludwig, Yellow T, the babies, and the X-Nauts...

"So, let's see if I can get this straight. You're the one who baby-fied most of the world?" Sir Crump asks Ludwig.

"No, zat vhas my father, King Dad," the Koopaling replies.

"Ah, you must mean Bowser. Anyways, are you still the one that managed to imprison that Toad, these babies, and managed to keep it all a secret from your father?" Crump asks again.

"Vell, three babies are gone, but the rest of zat is true," Ludwig answers.

"Well then, you're going to make a perfect captive when we try to overtake King Bowser!" Crump tells the Koopaling. Before Ludwig can question what's going on, he is hit in the back of the head and knocked out.

"So, I take it that we're going to try to make the Koopas our slaves before continuing onwards?" X-Citing asks.

"Correct," Sir Crump answers. "It will be much easier to remain a villain in this story if we have stronger forces to protect ourselves."

".... Did you just break the fourth wall?" X-Periment questions.

"Probably, but that's not too important. Troops, we didn't find the princess, but we now have the possibility of conquering all of Dark Land and its army! Back to the ship, and bring the others with you!" Crump demands. And so, Ludwig, Yellow T, and the babies are brought aboard Blade and kept in a tight prison as the X-Nauts fly to Bowser's Castle.


Meanwhile, with Wario, Waluigi, and Syrup...

The three have managed to go a considerable length toward Bowser's Castle, hoping the Mr. I is still there, but have stopped to rest.

"Ugh, I cannot take this anymore," Waluigi moans to the other two.

"Agreed!" Wario shouts in response. "The great hero, Wario, reduced to this! I can't take it anymore!"

"While I certainly don't agree with that 'great hero' bit, I'm definitely on the same page as you when it comes down to our prediciment," Syrup answers her foe.

As Wario opens his mouth to reply, the three see two baby Goombas coming into view.


"Looks like we need to stop for gas," X-Periment tells his leader. "We'll just land over there, at the Rogueport Docks, until we get a refill."

The X-Nauts then piloted Blade over to the docks and make another perfect landing. As Sir Crump and the others entered Central Rogueport, they noticed Frankie and Francesca just entering in from the West Side.

"That man..." Sir Grodus gasps. "HE HAS A COMPASS PIECE!"

Immediately, the X-Nauts charge towards the Piantas.

"Frankie, these guys give me the creeps!" Francesca whines.

"No worries, sweet thang! With just a blast, this lil' thing I pried from Eclair's crown will knock 'em down easily!"


"Hey, aren't those the Wario Bros? And Syrup?" Goombario asks Goombella as they approach the three baby humans just in view.

"I dunno. It's hard to recognize them without the mustaches."

The two go up to them and then, seeing the kinds of looks they're being given, can pretty much tell that the three are like them.

"What happened with you all? Don't tell me Bowser went after you all as well," Goombella says to the three.

"Bowser's doing this, too? I thought only Ludwig was baby-fying people," Waluigi manages to tell the Goombas.

"Ludwig?! He's involved in all this?!" Goombella gasps, still in baby-talk.

"In that case, we must stop them both!" Wario declares. "Nobody messes with my mustache and gets away with it! So, you two pipsqueak Goombas wanna help?"

"Sure, why not?" Goombella replies. "After all, it would be nice to talk to people that actually understand us for a while!"

And so, the two Goombas and the three humans join together and head towards Bowser's Castle.


Back with Croco and his band of thieves...

"So, sir, what are we going to do with them?" Crook 1 asks, motioning toward the baby Kongs.

"Hard to say. I don't like the idea of just leaving them lying around, but I also don't want to have to take them with us," Croco replies.

"How about this?" Crook B breaks in. "What if we wait until we find them items and then return them to their normal ages?"

"They don't have the Body Modification Rod!" Croco replies before realizing something. He looks at Booster and says, "But he does."

"All right, all right," Booster says. "Just make sure that we find some type of ball-riding clown to join me. Things haven't been the same since Grate Guy left. You know, less stunts and stuff."


Speaking of ball-riding clowns, Lemmy, Iggy, and Morton landed in Dire Dire Docks, luckily landing on, well, land.

"Ow... First we haven't been included since this tale first began, and now I've got a major bump on my head!" Iggy complains.

"I agree, fair brother of mine, but you just broke the fourth wall, which would be in between of the third and fifth walls if they existed, and breaking any wall is bad, and I know this because I ran right through a wall in the castle, but then I heard an explosion, and then millions of Bob-ombs blew up, which ultimately destroyed the castle, and then we were sent flying, so I think that I may have activated those Bob-ombs when I ran through that wall, and I-" Morton speaks, but is interrupted when Lemmy stuffs his ball down the Koopaling's throat.

"You owe me a new ball once this is all over, Big Mouth," Lemmy tells him. "Now, how do we even get out of here?"

"Hard to say," replies Iggy. "I heard that King Dad has an empty sub around here. Maybe we could go try to find it and use it to get out of here?"

"Or maybe we should just pause it and go to that last option, then wind up in Peach's Castle?"

"Lemmy, things don't work like in the video games."

"Really? Never woulda guessed."


"Oh, Frankie..." Francesca moans as she sees her fiance wounded in battle.

"Take them both into the ship!" Sir Crump orders. "Then, let's head straight for Bowser's Castle!"


"Let's see..." Croco wonders as he stars at a control panel. The babies have already returned to normal, and the thief is now staring at a control panel of sorts. "Which button should I press?"

Croco then presses a big, yellow button. The entire X-Naut base ejects itself from the moon, and begins to tumble down to Plit.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Everyone onboard screams as they approach the ground at a quick pace.


Meanwhile, in Sub-con, two common lackeys are taking care of Wart while Nick and Susan are gone.

"You change him!" an Albatoss orders.

"No, YOU change him!" a Ninji orders back.

"WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Baby Wart whines.

"Fine, I'LL change him!" the Ninji says, unable to tolerate any more of Wart's crying. He then goes over to the sink to get some fresh water. However, as the sewers had exploded, the entire castle is lifted off the ground by a giant geyser as soon as he turns on the tap!


Meanwhile, the team of Wario, Goombario, and the others have just reached the newly rebuilt Castle Koopa.

"There, it's finally done," Kamek comments as he and Kammy look at what they have worked so hard to rebuild.

"Yes, I... wait, what are a bunch of meddlesome toddlers doing here?!" the other Magikoopa asks as the toddlers crawl straight towards them. Also, at that very second, Bowser's doomship just pulls up and lands nearby. Very soon afterwords, the entire X-Naut fortress comes crashing down behind them! Plus, Luigi and his crew land beside the Magikoopas after being ejected from the geyser. Soon, every single character who was ever mentioned once in this story and that is still alive converge all around Bowser's Castle!

"Chao! Chao!" that one Chao from a long time ago whines as he appears through a mysterious portal.

"Ouch... All I did was turn on the sink!" Moustafa whines as he keeps Karma and Wendy tucked under his arms.

"Man, that sub was fast, and I mean really fast, as we arrived back in seconds and..." Morton rambles on as he looks at the sub they had retrieved a small bit ago.

"I didn't know that beer keg was connected to the sewer system!" Beldam says as she looks around and spots everyone else from the bar.

"Stupid underground geysers..." Larry mutters as he lands with a thud on the ground, soon followed by the Mr. I.

"I may have been trapped, but I'm still alive!" K. Rool declares as he raises a fist, followed by his two henchmen Klump and Krusha.

"Okay... This is definitely a bad day for us," Kamek tells his fellow Magikoopa as they look around at everybody.

Bowser walks out of his doomship and asks himself, "How did I get here? Well at least I can see that my castle's just fi-"

It is then that he notices the Baby Roy that Luigi is holding.

"You! What are you doing with my son... and how'd you turn him into a baby?!"

Larry, who's there because of having gone back to the sewers just before the flood, tucks the Mr. I inside his shell and begins whistling to cover up the complaining of the eye.

"Listen, Green Bean! I don't know what happened, but..." Bowser then stops yelling at Luigi and pots Moustafa with not only Wendy, but also Karma. "YOU! You've got even MORE explaining to do!"

"Too... many... artifacts! Overload, overload!" Sir Crump's handheld link to the TEC-XX 2.0 stammers before it overheats and deletsd itself.

"You hear that, troops?" Crump asks his men. "We've hit paydirt! Every last artifact that we haven't obtained yet is here! This is so... hey, what's our base doing all the way out here?"

Croco then stumbles out of the base, as do the rest of his crew. "Note to self: No matter how many red buttons there are, the yellow one always turns out to be even more dangerous."

"Hey, look!" Snifit #3 tells Croco as he points to Crump. "Those X-Nauts are here!"

"Oh, great. And I though things would be BETTER after hurtling millions of miles through space and landing all the way back here."

The two sides begin clashing, and as they fight Yellow T. hands Ludwig something. The Koopaling sneaks up on the leader of his former captors and hits Crump in the head with it, knocking him out, then looks to see what it is to find it to be a piece of steel.

"I found it lying on the ground awhile back," the Toad says to Ludwig. As the X-Nauts notice that their leader is down, they turn to run away but the Kongs jump on them and begin exacting their revenge.

"Hey, watch it! Didn't we already kill you off some time ago?" X-Periment asks.

"Back in my day, there were still 1-Ups, you know!" Cranky answers as he swats the X-Naut PhD with his cane.

"I've had it up to here with this whole adventure!" K. Rool shouts at the two apposing forces. "I'm not certain who has the Golden Bananas anymore, but I DEMAND THAT YOU GIVE THEM TO ME!"

Meanwhile, Jr. Troopa has landed on top of the newly rebuilt castle. "I officially hate travelling through the sewers from now on," he tells himself, as he also arrived via a geyser.

"Everyone, shut it!" Bowser yells furiously, making everyone stop in he middle of whatever they're doing. "Everyone shut up and explain just what they're doing here," the Koopa then points at Moustafa and Luigi, "especially you two!"

"I have no idea what's going on here," sighs the mouse. "I was just taking a walk through the desert when I stumbled upon these two."

"Well," Luigi says to Bowser, "I'm not the one who did this to him, and none of my partners did either. In fact, it was your son, Larry!"

The color drains from Larry's face as Bowser turns to look at him. "Larry, you got some splanin' to do!"

Ludwig, Wendy, and Karma all begin sweating up a storm as Larry opens his mouth to explain.

However, before Larry can even say a word, he feels quite strange. Then, he realises that the Mr. I is baby-fying HIM! He reaches into his shell, but it's too late. The Koopaling is already a toddler.

"AHA! So, YOU'RE the one doing all this, you traitor!" Bowser yells as he points at the Mr. I. "You've got some explaining to do, or-" Bowser is suddenly interrupted by the Mr. I turning him into a baby as well.


"You're nuts, you know that?" Jr. Troopa remarks from the castle's roof.

"Well, little kid, being stuck in the same place for OVER TWO THOUSAND YEARS can do that to you!" the Mr. I screams as he quickly turns the Troopa into a mere egg.

"Okay... If TEC-XX 2.0 was still active, he'd definitely say that this does not compute!" X-Periment tells Sir Crump. The PhD runs back into Blade for cover, quickly followed by X-Citing.

"Oh, this stinks!" Croco yelles "How on Plit are we going to stop that thing?!"

"That creature is too powerful now! Unless somebody manages to gain hold of all of the artifacts that have ever existed within the next few minutes, we're all doomed!" Kamek tells the others. He then drops the Compass Piece he retrieved from Croup and runs into Blade himself.

Croco grabs the piece, then snickers and says, "Popple, Booster, Kongs- go take the things from the X-Nauts. Me, the Crooks, and Chomp Bro. here will handle Luigi.

"Wait," Luigi wonders, "couldn't we solve this non-violently?"

"No," Croco answers, "because we're taking over for ourselves!"

Luigi sighs and comes running at Croco, who jumps and slashes him before doing a backflip.

Meanwhile, Nick Koopa looks around in a frantic manner. Deciding that the X-Nauts must have something valuable, as Popple, Booster, and the Kongs are all after them, Nick commands Red and Blue Goomba to pitch in and take the items for themselves. Nick then approaches Croco and Luigi, wanting to steal their items as well, but the five Snifits block his path!

"You're going to have to get through us if you want to get to our boss' boss!" Snifit #1 tells him.

Nick sighs and reaches into his shell to pull out the Rod, only to find that it's not there! He turns around to see that Toadette has stolen it from him.

"Guess I'll give this to Luigi," she says, skipping away toward her partner. Nick turns back to the Snifits and is promptly tackled by them.

"WAAAAAHHHHH!!!" cries Wart once more.

"I can't stand this anymore!!!" the Albatoss finally snaps. He picked up the baby-fied Toad and tosses him at Toadette. She is knocked out by the hit and drops the Rod, only to have Croco dash by and grab it in seconds.

"Looks like the tables are turned now, Green Bean!" Croco yells at Luigi as he immediately uses the Rod on him. Luigi is severely hurt, and feels like he was about to finally use up his last life.

"It-a looks like this will-a be my last battle," Luigi mutters to himself as Croco approaches him. The alligator dashes towards him, raises the Rod high into the air, and...


"Oh come-a on! Shouldn't I-a be dead right-a now?" Luigi mutters to himself when he realizes he wasn't dead. He looks at Croco, and discovered that the alligator had been turned into a baby by the Mr. I just in the nick of time. Luigi grabs the 120 Power Stars and other artifacts that Croco dropped, and then goes to join the battle against the X-Nauts.

Ludwig yells out, "Why are you suddenly doing this anyway?! You seemed like a pretty nice guy before!"

"See, I realized something while I was inside that Koopa's shell," the Mr. I explains. "I realized that with how powerful I am, there's no reason why I should follow orders from anyone or be couped up anywhere! In fact, I should be all-powerful! Don't worry, kid, I like ya, unlike the rest of these vermin. Plus, I need someone to raise them all anyway."

Wario turns to his four sorta-allies and says, "I've got a plan. We're the only ones who can do anything right now!"

"Well, what is it? Annoy that thing to death or something?" Waluigi asks. "Face it, we're weaklings in this form!"

"I hate to admit this, but you've got a point. I can barely even read what I wrote in my own Tattle Log! How can we possibly do ANYTHING?!" Goombella asks.

"Don't worry, even as babies, this plan can't fail!" Waluigi tells the others. He then explains the plan to them, and they agree that it is something they can actually pull off.

Meanwhile, Yellow T. is frantically running around in circles. "IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" he screams rather loudy. "GAME OVER, MAN!"

As the Toad runs around and screams, the Mr. I looks aggravated... or rather as aggravated as a giant eyeball can look. One moment later, Yellow T.'s screaming is replaced with crying.

The Crooks begin rushing at the Mr. I, planning to attack for their leader. However, the Mr. I soon reduces them to the same thing.

"Guess it's up to me!" Chomp Bro. yells as he throws a Chain Chomp at the eye. However, a second later, the Chain Chomp is nothing but a mere Chomplet. The Mr. I then baby-fies Popple's rookie, and then turns his attention towards Popple's other rookie, Booster.

Booster, along with Popple, the Kongs, Luigi, and the two Goombas, are trouncing Sir Crumps troops. "You may eliminate these troops, but there are millions more where they came from!" Crump yells as he presses a button on his belt, causing hundreds more X-Nauts to teleport onto the field. "Face it, us X-Nauts have been key villains throughout the entire story, and we're not going to give up without a fight!"

The X-Nauts rush the heroes, but then a huge stream of lights rains down from the sky upon them! Geno, who's merely been observing this whole time, chuckles. "Nice to see I've still got that one."

"Err," Crump replies, "I didn't want to have to do this but... Magnus!"

With that, Magnus Von Grapple 3.0 lowers from the Blade and Crump jumps into it.

"Haha! Feel the wrath of-" The X-Naut leader is cut off by a blast from the Mr. I, reducing Crump to a baby and Magnus to nothing but a toy car.

"Well, I had a feeling that they wouldn't last forever," Luigi tells himself as he stares at the former evil villain. The green plumber then manages to gather most of the artifacts he had dropped, although Popple, the Kongs, and the two Goombas still manage to get a few.

"Our king may have been defeated, and our new leader may be unable to fight, but we'll still put up a good fight!" Blue Goomba announces as he holds out a Crystal Star and aimsd it at Popple.

The Mr. I watches as Popple and numerous others are thrown into the air via Earth Tremor. "This is stupid. Don't they realize that they'd be better off working together?"

It's then that he notices Wario, Waluigi, Syrup, Goombella, and Goombario approaching him. Dismissing it as nothing more than playing, he is soon shocked to discover the five running around him as well as they can, in essence trapping him as he cannot stop them because his blast will only return them to normal, and he is gradually shrinking because of it as a result.

Luigi notices this and aims the Body Modification Rod at the eye, reducing the eye to exactly what would be most fitting. Everyone stops their fighting and notices this.

"A fitting end to him," Ludwig mutters.

"Yes, well, speaking of which, Ludwig," Luigi says as he dumps Bowser, Larry, the Mr. I, Karma, and Wendy into his arms, "hope you like babysitting."

"Ugh, I can't believe this!" Ludwig yells angrily, walking into the castle along with Iggy, Morton, and Lemmy following.


Luigi eventually returned everyone but the Koopas and the Mr. I back to normal, and all seemed all right. Ludwig did find a way to return his family to normal eventually, but not before receiving a beatdown from Wario, Waluigi, Syrup, Kat, Ana, and all the other people he captured and baby-fied.

Moral of the Story: In order to be in Mario Baseball, you have to babysit, get kidnaped by Ludwig, get turned into a baby, and co-star in a Fun Fic in Lemmy's Land.

The End

Credit goes to Martin, Antwan, Croshi, Noxious Koopa, Dylan, Phil the Koopa, Kevin Koopa, Sparky, Ice Toad, Sparky, corbin the crazy yoshi, MetalYoshi, and Waluigi's Twin for writing, editing, suggesting, or in any way enhancing this story.

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